#976 Self Acceptance Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (21st February 2023)

Hello and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

My website is jasonnewland.com. I've got itchy eye. Oh, right. So Vinnie's behind me having one of his little bony bone things.

Okay, like it's a chewy bone thing. I gave him a new one just now. So hopefully he'll be happy with that for the next hour or so I hope.

I've taken him out four times today. He woke me up. Yesterday he woke me up at 4.50 in the morning.

Today woke me up at 5.50. Now I took him out last thing at night and it was about 12.30 at night and I was just sitting there hoping that he'd do everything he needs to do do a wee wee do a poo poo whatever and then he won't need to do anything until maybe eight o'clock. I was wrong. And I guess that's the difference between having him in in the living room rather than having him in my in my bed because when he's in the bedroom I close the bedroom door.

I know it'd be better to have the bedroom door open so he can go into the living room and you know do what he wants to do but any any sound things to trigger him and he'll start barking and barking at the front door and yeah you know but I kind of want him near me. So if if getting woken up early is is part of that then that's what's gonna happen. I need to have him in the bed with me.

It's just something I want. He wants to be in a bed with me and I want him to be in a bed with me. It's just I think it's a comfort thing.

I don't know maybe I don't know I feel safe with him there. Not that I feel unsafe but I don't know this there's something there's a reason I guess. I kind of feel that he'll look after me when I'm asleep.

You know he'll look out for me when I'm unconscious. It makes no sense. Anyway I've I had a doctor's appointment today at five o'clock but they called up.

First of all they called up and said the doctors they said I just want to make sure you know about your appointment today. I said yeah yeah. I said oh okay and then they said we need to make another appointment for you but this will be for the a not anal like chest a heart gram thing you know.

I think it's those machines you know when they put those stickers around your nipples and stuff and they and they do the is it cardiogram I don't know what it's called. I'm getting one of those anyway. So I said well I'm in the doctors Friday anyway can you do an appointment on that day.

I said yeah but it's two hours after the the first appointment. I said okay that's cool that's fine. I don't I don't care I'll just go for a walk and maybe get some milk from the shop and the lady she said we don't need that much information we have other patients to talk to.

I said okay okay and she left. She was going to leave she wasn't actually sitting in my house. I mean we don't get house calls for making appointments.

Do doctors even do house calls anymore? I don't know. They used to in this country they used to used to come around people's houses and stuff but I don't know if it happens anymore. I don't know if the resources are there.

I really don't know. Oh there was this item on the news a couple of days ago where there was this little town or I think it might be a little village is it in Wales somewhere and they were trying to get a doctor to come to their village or you know because they didn't have one. Do you hear in the background crunching away? And they they were basically they made they all got together and sung a song and put it online and trying to attract a doctor to move to where they live to be their doctor.

I'm saying the word doctor too many times possibly but I thought wow I mean it's very it's very creative but wow it just I wouldn't have thought that would be needed but yeah so I hope they found one. I mean if I was a doctor I probably would have thought hmm well I don't know I'm not a doctor and I still thought hmm Listen to him he's really going at that water. I just put some fresh water down there just now like tell you what Vinnie if you ever get a girlfriend she's you make her very happy and very considerate.

Yeah so oh he's I shouldn't have spoken to him now listen to him now I'm gonna have to put in the bedroom. I gave him that bone for a reason so that he would play with that and now that I'm talking when I was sitting watching telly no problems he was just doing his own thing now that I'm sitting there talking into the microphone he's I think he's gone away oh he was right next to me staring at me going well you might have heard I'm not going to do the noise whining because I ignored him he's gone back to the bone wow that was a close one.

So I had an appointment at the doctor's five o'clock today and then I got a phone call and another phone call from the doctors cancelling my appointment cancelling saying oh we we made a mistake or whatever I don't know they gave me appointment with the wrong person or something and this this appointment was like the emergency appointment from last Thursday when I had the medical thing the hypertension and the I'm supposed to be going and getting checked out and you know all that stuff to see what's all going on now the doctors made that appointment

didn't even tell me but they did phone up today to tell me to be honest but before that I didn't know I just saw I looked on the app the doctor's app and saw that an appointment I had an appointment for today at five and like didn't know what it was for but it was for that anyway they cancelled it this is complicated isn't it I'm not sure if I can keep track myself they cancelled the appointment that I hadn't had that I didn't know about but then I did know about it and they confirmed

it and then they cancelled it before I attended yeah that's it up to speed and they said on my phone we need to change it to a different date and I said how about Friday so I've already got two appointments with you on Friday and they said yeah let's have a look and they have they've fitted me in so I'm going to be seen Friday I've got three appointments on Friday three doctor's appointments in the same surgery on the same day I've never had that in my life that was a bit slurry wasn't it I'll

never have that in my life I'm not even drinking well I'm drinking tea I've been drinking a lot more tea lately not just since I've stopped drinking coke but just generally I've I've cut down on my well I've stopped drinking coca-cola all together now it's just part of my reducing sugar intake and I got it down to sort of probably about one can a day sometimes two cans but rarely was it more than that apart from maybe on a Saturday evening or Saturday afternoon evening if I was watching a boxing or something and I got

a pizza and I was drinking coke so I might have four cans but generally it's gone down a lot you know it's really reduced I mean now it's gone down to nothing and I don't even I don't crave it and you might think well that's a bit silly why would you crave coke well I've been drinking it for years for years and years and years it I don't I haven't had I pretty much stopped drinking beer or lager in about 2015 maybe 2016 since then so that's for the last six years at least if not

seven years last six years I've really hardly touched alcohol at all not not through wanting to not drink it like any big reason it's just I lost interest in it just didn't do anything for me anymore and I realized that when I drank alcohol I always had a rule I didn't take my medication with the alcohol so it didn't matter so much for me my head was like well I left the I'll drink once a week you Saturday night maybe Friday night perhaps take the medication in the morning you know that kind of stuff but

the medication makes me tired and then made me more tired if I took it in the morning I'll be tired all day well I'm tireder than normal if I take the medication at night it's still a still a degree of lethargy lethargy lethargy tiredness created by the medication which is you know I'll figure it this way okay if I stop taking the medication um I've got more energy not more energy but more I'm more awake more alert more well just less tired and it's lovely however the reason for taking the medication becomes very obvious the

longer I go without taking it so you know I had a friend years ago he said to me he said and he was to be fair probably about my age at the time probably early 50s he'd taken early retirement and he because I think he was so pretty about my age maybe 55 but 50 early 50s and this was 2010 so it's about 13 years ago it's quite a while back maybe 2011 and he said to me for years and years and years no he didn't say it for years and years and years it was

just a one-off conversation well it wasn't he did say a few times but he didn't just repeat it but over different conversations because he was my friend and I spoke to him more than once he said to remember this conversation once he said and I was going through a bit of a low period I'm not going to say the word but a low period and he said that he'd had that on and off for years and years and years and years and years all throughout his adult life and he came to the conclusion he'd rather

take a tablet every day even if it made him feel tired even if it you know had a a bit of a after effect whatever it might be it rather that than how he felt before and it took him quite a few times of stopping taking the medication to realize what he preferred preferred and I came to that conclusion I think probably about 10 years ago or maybe not 10 years yeah maybe I think it had an effect on me what he said and it did stay with me yeah it did stay with me but

he I don't know when it was because you know once this is going all over the place by the way but I don't mind I'm aware of it so it's okay I remember and this is how fickle I've been in the past I stopped taking my medication twice in the past just because of something that my friends said to me can you believe that on the phone and I was on antidepressants and this was during my it was more fat yeah I was on them anyway and one friend he was going on about his problems

and I was trying to sort of be positive with him I was trying to sort of say that everything's going to work out it's going to be okay you know because I did believe that I believed that things were going to be okay but he couldn't see that perhaps it just wasn't helpful for me to say it to him and whatever but I was trying to I was doing my best with what I had and he snapped back saying well of course things are okay for you you're on medication me me me me me me

me you try and he started going on about how weak I was and how you know the only reason I can cope is with medication all that stuff which was in retrospect a little bit hateful possibly not helpful either so I just said yeah you really so I dumped the medication and then I got ill yay so that wasn't quite so good and then I had another I mean I'm not quite as quite as uh suggestible as I used to be maybe but I had another friend go on about that I had a go maybe

because I was on antidepressants going oh yeah it's right for you yeah and just kind of saying the same thing is like you shouldn't be on them all the time and if you it's like okay basically saying you need them I said I don't need this and that is it stop taking them and then yeah similar thing again yeah and then I get to the point where I'm thinking so what if I need them so what if someone needs blood thinning medication you would never go and say oh you need to have blood thinning medication

yeah your body doesn't work properly you'd still continue taking the blood thinning medication because it because you need to you know if someone's got a medical condition and medication is the thing they need you know it's just it took me a long time to come around to that now nobody wants to be stuck on medication no one wants to be taking medication if they don't have to you know it's not I think it's not most people's first choice but it's like what I'm gonna stop beating myself up about it that's you know I'm not trying

to get all serious I'm just I don't know why I'm even talking about it to be honest that's because I started thinking about the ambulance and I started anyway make it cheerful and then then I fell over again so what my friend said you know the one about you know taking one tablet a day I mean I take a little bit more than one tablet a day but it's it's kind of like well if that's what you need to do then you know it's a choice the thing is with things like bipolar you know those

kinds of things it doesn't just affect me so if I'm not if I'm unwell or whatever it affects people around me it affects it can have an effect on people that I meet in a supermarket or if you know waiting for a bus I might not be as I might say the wrong thing I might not be particularly pleasant I try not to do that but sometimes I can be a little bit I just seem to have a little bit more energy behind whatever emotions are happening and I might not be particularly I might not

be a good daddy to Vinnie or to Andre when I had him you know I want to be able to be I know it's not the medication that makes me who I am but it helps me to be who I am it helps me to to kind of have that stability because because I do think I'm a decent person although on Friday after the ambulance came and I was sitting on the stairs on my own I got a bit angry the next day or that day Friday it was Friday morning but or Thursday night Thursday

morning wasn't it on that Thursday or maybe the Friday I can't remember what anyway I really lost it a little bit and all the stuff that had been getting that had been sort of dragging me down around here was still going on and I said no I said no more don't want to hear it don't want to see it don't nothing and I think it it didn't go down well with other people what I was saying because like don't care anymore I don't want to know about it it's nothing to do with me you know

don't bring it to my door and I can't tell you what was going on but it's it's probably much more serious than you think actually to be honest but I just don't I can't have that stuff it's not my lifestyle it's not my thing and in the end I really really got angry and I'm not an angry person generally and I was I really felt angry because I was saying no for the first time for a long time I was saying no I'm not doing that people trying to manipulate me and I say no no

you know no I don't not want to go there I don't want to go to do this thing for you I don't want to do this I just I have to think about myself now because I don't know what's going on and I have to look after my own health instead of worrying about everybody else and it was empowering but at the same time a little bit scary because I started questioning whether or not I was a nice person but what if that is the real me what if that is who I am and all

this being nice helping people is just fake I want to say being nice helping people I'm not talking about making podcasts I'm talking about in my not in my life my real life I do try and help people if I can and it was quite surreal and since then some people have been trying to like make sure I'm okay and make sure I'm all right and like I don't know if they know about me going on or off on one I don't know but I need to be left alone basically not by everyone but just

generally left alone to do my thing and I've realized what I need to do and I'm sorry if this is not particularly funny what I need to do is get back to my the way I was thinking back in 2013 is when that's when I kind of got unwell and I lost my job is to just take it easy a bit not that I'm like fully pushing myself but I'm affected and I can relax I mean I do relaxation sessions I do I can relax but sometimes when something's full on um you know it's it's

a weird one you know I've got I've got a condition and it affects me sometimes every day so it's it's a balancing act and in 2013 I really just stopped everything you know I'd get up I'd go for a walk I'd watch a bit of tv and try and stick just to comedy shows you know maybe watch videos music videos on tv I didn't have any internet or anything I had internet but it wasn't strong enough to watch Netflix or anything like that which is ridiculous isn't it but hey um but I did have it

for just general internet use and then I I had this little routine in 2013 where I lived near town so I'd walk into town it's about 10 minute walk I'd go to the park I'd maybe go to the supermarket and get some nuts for the squirrels and get some bird seeds some seed for the birds perhaps to get them from the pet shop or something and because there's a lot of pigeons in the park as well so I do that I chuck loads of seeds down for the pigeons and I'd give the squirrels their nuts

like the ones that they like to eat so I looked online to find out what ones they you know are best for them I think they're called squirrel nuts and then I'd walk back I'm not sure if I went and had a cup of tea or cup of coffee or something in one of the cafes but I'd go and I'd go to the evolution shop which is a gift shop that was run by the Buddhists well I used to work a few years earlier so I knew the people that worked in there so I'd pop

in there just to say hi I didn't hang around for long just depend on who was in there if it was someone that I got on well with I might stay there for half an hour then I'd go back home and I'd watch Terry and June on television so it was probably at 3 30 in the afternoon maybe 2 30 I don't know and maybe Rise and Damp so there'd be two 1970s sitcoms on but it was gentle and it's what I needed I needed gentle I mean I'd even sit and watch the snooker because

it was very gentle very quiet spoken you know the commentary's quiet isn't it very soft and maybe I'd fall asleep watching that and I really I kind of took care of myself I had a punch bag so I'd I would do a bit of exercise as well on the punch bag maybe an hour a day but it really was living very basic very slow and making sure that you know I'd go for a couple of walks every day so I'd go for a walk or just not necessarily not a long long walk but maybe just

walk around the block a few times and although technically it's probably a bit boring it's what I needed to wind down I needed to I don't know just release some of that built-up stuff and I'm kind of doing that now I'm trying to do that again I'm going for long walks with Vinnie and I was doing that anyway but the weather's been quite good but it's sort of I say this I mean we might who knows what the weather's going to be tomorrow but apart from the people that know I it's been very springy and

it's the 21st of February it's really felt like spring to me and it's nice the nights the days are longer now they're just getting longer and longer so I'm appreciating that although I was up this morning it was wasn't light yet because I was up too early the last two mornings but if I get up at seven in the morning it's starting to get light it's it's that kind of light where you know you can see the sky if you know I mean it's it's it's of dusk isn't it I guess the sun's not up

really but you can start to see that the sun's lighting the sky a bit and even though the street lights are still on you can see the ground like at night if I went out there now I wouldn't be able to see the ground very well apart from directly underneath the street lights so that's one of the reasons I don't really like taking them out at night because I can't see where I'm going he you know he picks stuff up off the floor I just like what are you eating now I do feed you and

he's then he shouts like not enough and runs off giggling so I I can't see also if he does a poo or wee sometimes I'm like he does it on the grass and I'm trying to see the thing and I can't I do take my phone out and with the the light on the phone but sometimes I still can't see where he's done it yeah usually I'm okay but occasionally it's like did you do a wee or a poo and he won't answer he won't tell me like a big secret yeah so that's that's that

so I'm just I'm trying to I'm trying to make recordings because I want to make a recording as well rather than feeling I have to do it I know some people say well don't do if you feel you have to do yeah you don't understand those people might not understand how a lot of people have told me how important my recordings are to them or to you so there's there's a degree of responsibility I've created this I've built this 17 years of my life building this whatever this is whatever I'm doing not just this podcast

but you know the deep sleep whisper the pain relief the whatever the different things I do and I kind of I feel I owe it to my audience to not just disappear you know not to but they never used to bother me before in a sense of I would not do anything for a few weeks and then I'd you know pop back and that was seen to be okay when I did YouTube and even though I had podcasts I didn't I had I've always had podcasts right from I think 2007 I think maybe 2006 so

I've had podcasts the whole way through but they've been different podcasts and tested out everyone every single one of them practically but I was I had a podcast I think it was SoundCloud and I didn't really pay much attention to it it was just there whenever I made a video I'd convert it to an audio and upload the audio mp3 to the podcast and people listened you know whoever you know and I focused more on the YouTube channels on the YouTube channel occasionally I would make an audio but then I would so I'd upload that

and then I'd convert that into a video so I'd do both both versions really but sometimes I'd take a break and I wouldn't do anything for quite a while and it didn't seem to really make much difference I guess maybe people used to it I'm not sure maybe people did see if I was okay I can't remember such a long time ago it's like 10 years ago isn't it so I'm not sure I think I probably did get people send me messages are you okay whatever like you know like they do now sometimes but it's

only really the last five years that I've been pretty regular with the old podcasts and making new recordings even if it's not yeah I might have the odd week off or the odd two weeks off but it's rare it's not very often and most weeks I'll make recordings most weeks sometimes I do one every day sometimes I do three a day and then I might have some time off but it's I mean last year I did 236 recordings or something like that but then there was four versions of each of those you know the one

without music one with music five hour and 10 hour but 236 it was something like that it might have been a little bit more a little bit less now I don't know how many I've done this year so far probably about 30 do you reckon should we say should we count them shall we shall we come on then let's count them let's count how many recordings I've done just in this this year I reckon 40 maybe 40 30 and this is just the individual recordings not the not including the different hours if that makes sense

just the individual recordings so one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 55 so 55 different recordings and actually thinking about it 55 recordings but how many days is that you know let's have a look let's have a look really yeah you mean you don't mind no I don't mind let's

have a look oh that's brilliant so oh no date state I want isn't it so 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 so 55 recordings in 52 days now I know I haven't made a recording every single day some have been more you know in a day but still the equivalent of more than one a day and I don't know why I said that out loud because obviously wow imagine if I did one every day there'd be less wouldn't it and

yeah I'd like 300 I was I was planning my aim I think probably you know November time my aim was to this year I'd like to make a thousand different recordings so it's basically four times the amount I did last year kind of ish ishy ish oh probably not gonna happen and based on this I might get 500 done is it possible and it's maybe 400 500 it's yeah it's possible it's three so I'd need to do three a day every day for the whole year so if I continued it's all my stomach gurgling I'd

beans on toast or bean cheese on toast with beans for my dinner but I didn't have the cheese wasn't toasted I just had toast and just a slice of cheese on each one with the beans and a cup of tea and my stomach's gurgling it was gurgling earlier I think it's because it's like where's the coca-cola where's the chocolate where's all the biscuits but we don't have biscuits anymore we don't have chocolate anymore we don't have coca-cola anymore but I want the coca-cola I miss it me and you both mate I miss it as well

but you know needs must oh dear so I'm gonna I'm thinking if I can get down to 14 stone so it's just another stone if I can lose a stone more so I've already lost a stone since Christmas or just before Christmas if I can lose one more and exercise because I think my back's ready to do some exercise I reckon I mean I'm I'm possibly never going to be skinny again I used to be very very skinny not just slim but proper like really no nothing on my bones at all and it took a

long time before I had any meat on my bones I think 25 before that happened I had a bit of muscle but just I was just really really really really slight build and and I guess a lot of that was metabolism I used to eat anything I wanted I could eat literally eat and drink anything I wanted and it'd make no difference to my weight but then I always had an active job when I was working I pretty much most of my jobs I had were quite active apart from when I was doing security and

working in a call center which kind of makes about 14 years of my working life so I guess yeah but forgetting that part it's a lot of jobs I had were very physical lifting heavy things repetitively or repeatedly and so I was strong enough I had the energy to do that stuff usually so I guess I was just burning off all the calories that was going into my body but sometimes on the way home I would have a chocolate bar just to give me some energy until I was able to eat my food so I'd

you know cook some dinner I might have two chocolate bars I know sometimes I remember once I had an apple and it was quite nice you know quite liked it it wasn't really about health it was just it was refreshing it might have been in the summer and I don't know but I remember biting into it and thinking hmm this is nice I think I'll talk about this one day if I ever if the internet's ever invented so yeah that's what I was like yeah it was nice I think my favorite fruit I do like

but I'm gonna have to say bananas because bananas have been a staple of my diet for since before time however it's not my favorite it's just the easiest fruit to get out of all the easy fruits like bananas apples oranges bananas are the nicest for me I like them the best and I'm a bit of an ape I am I literally am a bit of a monkey so I clearly like monkey things like bananas and swinging from my tail and officially it's not a tail but hey if you can swing from it you're lucky I

like melon that's probably my favorite although when I have yogurts with fruit in them which generally is most of the time they have fruit in them I mean my favorite ones I do like watermelon like watermelon that's the thing I love love watermelon it's just phenomenal love it but I do like kiwi fruit is it kiwi fruit in yogurt that's probably my favorite I love strawberry as well but there's something about kiwi fruit in the yogurt I've never had kiwi fruit outside of the yogurt I also love fig like real fig I like fig rolls

as well the bot you know the biscuits although they do me they do make me poo but which is not always a bad thing I mean to be fair I normally sit on the toilet when I eat biscuits anyway so it doesn't really affect me and doesn't everybody so I don't I think I have had figs like figgy fig figs that aren't in a biscuit I think I have but I do like them but I think I would say watermelon is my favorite because it's just it's heavenly it's actually heavenly it is it I just

feel the freedom of life just sinking my teeth into it and my lips and having the juice squirt all over my face and it just goes everywhere it's messy but it doesn't matter because sometimes you can't get messy in public but with watermelon everyone understands like it's a messy fruit you know it's a messy fruit just like with an apple if you eat an apple and it's maybe it's not ripe you might go out and you know it's like oh I nearly took a tooth out there didn't like that it's like yeah we've all done

that it's normal um maybe or I don't know if you've got chocolate with honeycomb in and it gets stuck in between your teeth it's normal it's just normal stuff isn't it so do you I don't do you have curly whirlies where you live it's a chocolate it's like these they used to be big now I don't know if it's because I used to have smaller hands but I'm pretty sure they used to be huge like huge huge things I don't mean as big as a house but you know you they were big there were probably

yeah a good 12 inches long I'd say I might be wrong but they were big now they're not so big well I used to love curly whirlies when I was a kid and a couple of years ago I saw some in the shop and I thought wow no it's a curly whirly now I haven't I hadn't had a curly whirly for many years I also remembered how much fun they were if you put them in the freezer because this was during the summer so chocolate's not always great in the summer so I put it in

the freezer I probably just put in the fridge would have been enough but I put in the freezer so I could crunch it off because I wanted to get it off and right because sometimes when it's soft it's it's chewy which is good but it's nice sometimes to be able to just snap it off and I did but it broke my tooth and the filling came out of my tooth so that wasn't so good so I spent two years because this happened just before lockdown or just as lockdown happened and I couldn't get to a

dentist I think the only dentist appointments they were doing was through zoom I mean I don't know how the heck they give people fillings through the internet but you know so I kind of I had to I had this big gap in my tooth it didn't hurt though that was the thing that I was okay about like okay it only hurt if anything got in there so I made sure that I was keeping that area clean the whole time so every time I ate made sure that I got anything out and you know so it

was very hygienic area so that was good until it started hurting and I had to I ended up having two teeth removed a few months ago but I couldn't believe a bit of chocolate that was frozen solid could have that impact on a filling I mean literally the whole filling stuck I pulled it out and it was just stuck to the chocolate it was stuck stuck I was like oh and then because because of the curly whirly being frozen solid I suddenly had this it was a sharp pain but it wasn't really pain it was

just the ice it was just the coldness on this bit of sensitivity but after that I was fine it didn't hurt really unless I got stuff stuck in there but this is like the corner and the corner of the curly whirly is quite sharp and because it was frozen I mean you know you could use it as self-defense weapon honestly but it was oh I love curly whirlys but I don't eat them anymore because of that I mean sometimes I don't like to learn from experiences but sometimes I guess I just have to bite the

bullet and learn I don't want to learn from anything I've got a real attitude with that I like to just go through life and never learn a single thing if at all possible it's done me wonders in my life oh dear I come out with some rubbish don't I see if I've got any messages I don't think I have nobody sent me no messages unless I have got a message and oh Hillary did send a message a little worried about you you haven't posted a new podcast in a while hope you're okay so I did

say I'm fine thanks for your concern and she says oh that's good love your podcasts um cool so would be happy to donate but don't have PayPal do you have Revolut?

Revolut?

I don't even know what that is let me google that what's Revolut Revolut Revolut one app all things money send spend and save smarter investments from one pound okay let's have a look what it says Revolut is a British Lithuanian bank and financial technology company that offers banking services it's licensed as a bank by the European Central Bank and regulated by the Bank of Lithuania and okay 2019 their revenue was 162 million and what are the cons and questions pros and cons of Revolut how pros free stock trading fast and easy account opening great mobile

trading platforms that's the pros cons limited product portfolio basic research and missing educational tools poor customer service this is just what it says online it doesn't and this is from the broker chooser.com can Revolut be trusted it's safe to send money with Revolut and can cost less than using a regular bank too Revolut offers domestic and international transfer through its account Revolut has verification steps and checks in place to make sure your money is safe whenever you make a local or overseas payment did I tell you this it's Vinnie's birthday on Sunday 27th I thought

it was the 22nd but I found out it's not it's the 27th and it'll be a year old how amazing is that a year old year a year a whole whole year

and it's crazy you think a baby a year old baby is they can't kind of do anything can they for themselves I mean it's you know this sort of it's humans I'm not going to go human stuff by the way I'm just saying you us us all of us that are listening to this unless you're not human and maybe you're a doggie or your cat or a wolverine or goldfish you know or donkey you might have a donkey in your bed I don't know I don't ask questions but the way he is it's like he's

not even a year old and he can do all the things he can do it's it's imagine what it'd be like when he's 10 he'll be like a genius be like Einstein blimey you know he'll know like 10 languages by the time he's three but he's he does make me laugh that he's got so much energy and he's also manipulative but at the same time he knows to do what I tell him eventually I get an example was I was outside with my friend his dog and Vinnie was out there and Vinnie went all the

other side of the of the communal garden and sat next to the door which is the entrance towards his old his foster mum that used to live he used to live with her and he sat there away from us we were the other side of the garden not a big area but yeah probably a good 30 foot 40 foot and I called him and he ignored me so I stood up I walked a few steps forward I looked at him I said come here now now and he could hear me I didn't have to shout

he could hear me they got brilliant hearing dogs and they now and he kept looking down looking away and eventually it took about two minutes but eventually he started walking towards me and he walked towards the other dog yeah and I said now and he walked to me and he laid down by my feet he laid on his back so he's kind of like a good boy and I gave him a cuddle but trying to get him to do what I want him to do because there are times when I need him to come back

to me for his safety you know if he's running in the road or he's I have to make sure he's okay I need him to be able to do that to just you know follow my lead I really don't I'm not bossy I mean he was he was eating my sofa yesterday I didn't have a go in I stopped him from doing it since I said no but I didn't like make a big deal of it so I don't want to be controlling and I don't like getting to sit or any stuff like that but

I do get him to stop when we cross the road I'm trying to teach him just basic things that are good for his health that good for his safety but when he's indoors I don't have to I don't need to sort of get him to be sitting down or jumping up or rolling over or dancing and I'm not bothered about that if he wants to do that let him do it I do play with him and he's he's he likes to play by biting me by biting my hand not hard but like play fighting he

likes to do that so we do that whenever he wants to and he gets long walks so he likes that as well and he likes to sleep so he sometimes he likes to go in the bedroom on his own and sleep on the bed sometimes he likes to sleep on the chair on his little bed that he's got next to my chair sometimes he likes to sleep on me if I'm sitting down he'll sleep on my lap or he'll just have his head on my on my lap there's the the leg rest that comes up

so he'll sometimes lay on there and they put his rest his chin on my on my shins or on my knees or whatever so he just he just does whatever he wants to do he's I don't try and get him really do anything I just want him to be safe but also want him to to know who's in charge not so I can boss him around just so he knows the running order the pet the pecking order because otherwise he will get me doing whatever he wants and he does to a degree anyway because when

he wants to go out I take him out yeah it's give and take I suppose isn't it it's like any relationship and I try to I don't try and be gentle with him because I am gentle with him I'm just gentle I'm not I'm not I'm not a shouter anyway in in life I just it's not my thing so you know I say that to anyone that comes into my home no shouting no aggression no you know even if it's just joking around none of that I don't want it just peaceful we have to keep

it peaceful in here so that's that's one of my rules it's a little bit boring maybe but um some people just like to shout don't they not they just they're loud or whatever they think it's shouting you don't have to shout at a dog a dog's hearing is way better than a human's hearing as far as I'm aware you know it's about tone of voice I think and it's about they get to know you there are times when he comes in here and he just hides under the table a couple of times when I've been

in the mood I've not been in the mood with him but he's sensing it so I go like hey I give him a cuddle said that's fine because I was upset about something else that happened and but it wasn't him I wasn't upset he has upset me a couple of times to be fair you know if he's tried to run in the road that upsets me he bit me once that upset me because I don't want to I don't want to anyone hurting me but he only did it once and he didn't draw blood or

anything but he snapped at me because I was trying to get the lead out of his mouth and he really went for it like and it was vicious like wow and when we got back he kept well away from me so he kind of he's he's he knows what he's being naughty but he's not really naughty very often he does naughty things like ripping up stuff and I probably should be a bit more stricter with him but I don't let him get away with things like biting I don't I don't let him I do make

sure that he behaves himself generally you know don't let him get away with bad behavior apart from ripping up my sofa and eating off my plate which are probably two of the worst behaviors possible aren't they yeah well generally I don't he did that he sneakily did that with the food but I'd finish with the food anyway but he has never ever taken food off my plate when it's first gone down you know if I'm eating off it or if I bring it in here a sandwich whatever it is and I go and normally take

my medication in the evening before eating my evening meal whatever it is he doesn't touch my food and he knows it because the first time I look at him like no he keeps well away but last night I had I was a little bit of a roll tuna roll and I knew it was the night before he knew that I'd finish with it because I you know quite often I will give him the odd little bit as well so he did help himself and I probably should have told him off but because it didn't it

would it would have felt fake because I didn't care because if anything it saved me chucking it away I don't really like away so and he likes tuna fish for whatever reason I mean I was gonna you know it's not the natural prey for a tiny little dog is it a massive fish but then it's not natural prey for a human either yeah really I guess um I couldn't I couldn't carry a tuna fish they're huge huge I tell you so that's it really on the subject of tuna fish and um dogs and Vinnie Vanoy

so I'm gonna go thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself remember to be gentle with yourself because how noisy is that behind me him crunching so be kind and be gentle because you deserve to be happy do something nice for yourself today and I'll speak to you tomorrow love lots of love bye