#997 Thanks Molly Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (25th April 2023)

Hello and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name's Jason Newland and my website, I don't know what that was for, my website is jasonnewland.com which is good because well it's it's basically all my recordings are on there. All the latest recordings my podcasts and it is basically just a podcast.

So give it a visit if for no other reason but just to laugh at it if you want. Yeah please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I've just given Vinnie a little bone to eat while, well to chew on while we do this recording.

So you may hear in the background chomping away. It's the only way I can keep him distracted whilst still being in the same room as me whence I do this thing. Otherwise I've got to poop into the bedroom.

Did I say only listen when you can safely close your eyes? Probably have and you might think why how can you not remember saying it? It's because I've said it thousands of times and I don't even hear myself say it anymore. You know it's like I said oh do you remember going to the toilet when you first woke up today? Do you remember doing a wee? No I know I did a wee. I don't remember doing a wee.

Do you remember getting out of bed? No I don't remember getting out of bed. I know I did get out of bed because I'm sitting here and I did do a wee because well the bed's not wet. You know if you do something continuously.

Do you remember brushing your teeth this morning? Well no because I didn't. I never brush my teeth. No I do.

I did. I don't remember doing it but you know I just just just as an example. So before I continue um I'd just like to say thank you to what's her name? Oh Molly.

Say thank you to Molly who posted a message or a post on Jason Newland hypnotist group which you can join if you want. It's a private group. Thanks for the laughs and keeping my mind off my own thoughts Jason.

Fell asleep laughing last night. So thank you Molly. I don't oh I'll be interested if you can post on there what recording or what um episode or what it was you were listening to because it's just out of interest really.

Ken. Ken says Jason whispering is a sleep certainty. Don't drive whilst listening to anything this man does.

Yep I'd agree with that. Thank you. I don't know what else.

So I've had this group about oh yeah and also Molly is the administrator for the Jason Newland hypnotist group. So thank you for that. There's 99 members.

I think a new member joined this week. I think. In all honesty I don't I don't post very often.

I should perhaps do a bit more but I've not spent a lot of time on Facebook recently. It just I don't know Facebook you know. It's not I don't know really.

I was thinking about this earlier. I suppose everything was earlier wasn't it really but I was thinking about it earlier and I thought hmm out of all the things online like websites and stuff that I used to use in the past you know going back blimey 15 16 years or whatever the only one that I still like is YouTube. The only one the only I mean a lot of things have changed and but you know a lot of websites that was around or social network sites or whatever are gone but and it's a shame because you know really with Facebook if it wasn't for Facebook I perhaps I don't know I might not have gained listeners or viewers for my recordings and videos.

Well I would have done but maybe not as quickly and nowadays pretty much for the last couple of years I've hardly well for a few years I've hardly promoted what I do much on Facebook or anywhere. I just upload the recordings and cross my legs for good luck you know. So I felt I fell up the stairs today.

I fell walking up the stairs. I was holding Vinnie in my arm and I managed to stop crush what I stopped myself from crushing him basically. I managed to stop myself from I fell on the arm that I was holding him in.

So I hurt my shoulder a little bit. It's just that's a really boring story wasn't it there was there was no pop to it was there was no there was nothing interesting in the story at all there was no build up to it there was no plot line it was kind of a bit of a pointless story. I feel I feel a bit sad about that oh I feel so sad about it it's such a shame.

Right so what's in the news what's in the news I'm not talking about what's in the news so what's new here well I've I've got rid of all the adverts from the podcasts and and so I'm not quite sure how I'm gonna keep everything going but I just started just to get rid of them for now till maybe next year.

I have been working on the YouTube channel so I've now got 900 and I think I've got 950 subscribers I know mind-blowing absolutely enormous amount so you know it's it's all right 950 I'll be working on trying to get or trying to produce 10 hour videos but and I've discussed this before it takes up a huge amount of space huge huge so I'm kind of just I'm playing with it and the thing about it is once they're uploaded I've tested it and it's hard to download them from YouTube so it's kind of once I've done

it that's it unless I save a backup video on a hard drive um you know it will be on YouTube and that will be it it you know and that's it's a fair it's it's not work it's time you know the recording is already made but the time it takes to convert a YouTube video or a podcast episode a 10 hour one into a video is hours upon hours and then to upload it even longer it took I think I think about eight hours the last one I uploaded 12 hour 10 hour video took about

eight eight or nine hours the first one I did took about 16 hours so that's a long time and these are like 50 plus gigabytes each now I've been testing them and playing around with it to see a thirst before I kind of commit to doing it because it's warm in here today I've got two windows open it's still warm I'm gonna give them a punch bag up yeah I've got a punch bag I've not used it since I got it I've got I've got a speedball punch bag thing that I use this actual stand

up punch bag I got it back in the day I got it back in the day before Christmas and that's when I fractured my back just just after I bought it so I've never actually used it I never bothered putting it up yet even though my back's been fine for ages I just I want to tidy the room first I need to make some space again another really boring story I mean it's I don't understand it normally my stories for those that listen regularly you know they're super exciting and it's just not cutting the mustard

is it I haven't mind so what's happened since the last spoke to you we had this thing in the UK I'll read it here this thing that happened and it's it's a new thing in I say the UK yeah it's a UK it's a new UK government service it's a severe alarm and they were testing it on Sunday and it went off at 14 59 p.

m and it literally was it was none of my alarms sound like this so I've got really only two alarms one is for the clock no three three sounds that come out of the phone I have notifications turned off but I have the phone ringing tone which I think is just ringing I can't remember the last time someone phoned me and the other one is the alarm so if I set the alarm which is quite rare and the other one is if I set the timer because I have a timer so if I'm cooking it's

a like little app thing and I and that's like something like that it's not good but it's that kind of sound me like a it's a tune it's a tune with this severe alarm was like this it was a quite loud in fact I would say louder than the phone's volume was set at and I had the phone on mute yeah it still went off so um and the alarm goes it actually says it severe alarm this is a test of emergency alerts a new UK government service that will warn you if there's a you

know serious thing happening nearby it's like hmm I'm not sure what to make of it if I'm honest I realize that other countries well I know America well apparently America has a thing the only reason I know that is because I listen to a lot of radio a talk radio and LBC is the channel that I listen to and they were discussing it and people from America phoned in and saying yeah we've had these for years you know if there's a tornado heading our way or something like that we get the alarm come on the

phone it's not an alarm saying come on the phone but anyway it's like okay emergency stop what you're doing come on the phone it's it's like oh I thought okay but so I started I watched some programs news programs discussions listened to discussions about this subject since it happened on Sunday and some people are thinking well I don't want this happening all the time I don't want to be notified every time there's some bad weather bearing in mind in my country the country that I own I'm the sole proprietor of this country we do have

severe weather sometimes but our severe weather is not generally comparable comparable comparable to let's say some of the weather in other in other parts of the world so we do have strong winds sometimes but we don't generally have tornadoes in my lifetime I think there's been one hurricane official hurricane and there's parts of America that have hurricane season season a season why would you live somewhere where there's a hurricane season there's places where they have rain season flood season all these kinds of weirds volcanoes volcanoes volcanoes why would you live near a volcano an active

volcano why it doesn't make sense I mean you just say yeah well you can't help it if you're born there yeah but when you get to the age of reason and you know when you're a kid like oh there's a volcano this is cool I mean I wouldn't have got any sleep for the first 16 years of my life well that'd be even worse when I was told told about Father Christmas or Santa Claus whatever you want to call him creeping around my bedroom Christmas Eve night like what are you doing stuff like that used

to freak me out I was a little bit of a worrier I still am I guess I mean the first time I really because my childhood was a little bit strange everyone's you know it's not an I'm not I'm not unique with that but it wasn't really till I got to the age of about seven that I knew about Father Christmas and we in England we used to call Santa Claus Father Christmas now a lot of kids these days I think they call they say center we never used to say center not my part of

the country anyway is I was raised to say Father Christmas so that's what I call him still anyway we were living it wasn't till I was seven that I discovered about Father Christmas so a bit of a late bloomer for some reason the Catholic nuns I lived with weren't big on that you know it was yeah it's for some reason but I when I when I was seven lived with my dad and my step-mom and my two brothers and I said so okay so this big quite robund that's not the word I would use fat

probably I would have used back then but it's big big man this old man with a big belly and that is how he is portrayed in you know in in the movies and in the stuff stories is going to be climbing down the chimney around midnight when we're all asleep so he doesn't enter the house until the children are asleep am I getting this right so okay cool so he comes down the chimney or he arrives he travels down the chimney maybe that's a better way of putting it and he then puts presents underneath the

Christmas tree and then he goes into each room sneaks around and you know maybe puts presents into stockings so roots through your stocking drawer and whatever I don't know so yeah yeah that's right okay I mean I was freaked out enough by the tooth fairy the tooth fairy was you don't notice I'm saying tooth it's not tuff it's tooth tooth not not tuff it's roof not rough I'm just trying to help trying to help so so the tooth fairy and the tooth tooth fairy anyway I got freaked out by that I mean that was just

way too personal put you put your tooth under the pillow and when you wake up the tooth fairy will have been and there'll be a penny or a coin or some money I mean it used to be five pence or ten pence back then it's probably probably 20 pound 20 dollars or 50 dollars or something now but um bitcoin probably is bitcoin underneath your pillow but it's like okay well I was always pleased like okay the tooth it's it's it's a nice it's a nice swap it's a nice it's a fair swap I gave a

tooth up and let's face it once I knew there was money a monetary gain involved I was yanking those things out every day I just wish I had more to pull out and every day yanking off yanking out the old teeth and the things back then it's weird because I never had toothache when I was a kid they just got loose and I played with them and constantly playing I was just there like just playing with myself the whole time like just like wiggling them wiggling them wiggling them I didn't need any toys I was

happy just playing with myself it's like and then and then they'd literally be holding on by just a tiny little bit of uh skin or something and there was no pain and it was so much fun and I mean sometimes my brothers would play with me you know would um play different games board games and the thing is they never let me win anything I didn't like playing with my brothers because they always had to win always had to win they always had to come first and um it's not I mean I think because one

of them was two years older than me and one of them was four years older than me so they were in competition with each other so if we played pool or snooker or badminton not badminton um table tennis or board games snakes and ladders you know whatever it was they would compete with each other but then when I came along can I play please they would just I think their way of getting rid of me was to just annihilate me there was no uh oh let's let him win to get it to gain a little

bit of self-confidence you know none of that it was no we're gonna beat him every single time and that's what they did never let me win it got to the point where I didn't like doing it anymore because I never I couldn't win because they were just better at everything than I was and they say well just because they're older doesn't mean they should be better um I have done him an answer to that they just were my second from oldest but the brother was two years older than me he was an athlete at school

I think you wouldn't you call like a varsity athlete or something in America I don't know I'm not sure what that means but a jock and it wasn't that he was super into sports he was just really fast uh he just loved to come first and I remember watching him on sports day and he won everything he won even won races he didn't enter he honestly he just like just first first first first he was so fast at running and he wasn't slim he wasn't fat but he was quite well built um like stocky strong

I don't know what's the right word but he was so fast and I did admire that I was you know I was I was pleased for him I didn't want him to know that but you know he's my brother's like yeah I was my brother yeah and it was cool you know because I wasn't competing with him and I could never compete with him ever I never ever won anything we even had fights and I couldn't well I mean I it's not supposed to be able to win a fight against someone two years older but

I couldn't he just was I held my own perhaps perhaps that's what got in the way I should have me should have my hands up but I'd we had this I remember he used to wind me up this is when I was doing karate um and I guess I felt a bit more well I was never scared of him or any other kids when I was a kid but I you know I realized he had a physical advantage because he was not only because he was like normal size for his age if that makes sense

I was a much smaller size for my age so when he was 14 he was the average size for a 14 or 15 year old and at the time I'd be 12 and I was the size of probably a 10 year old I was very small wasn't very tall and I was I weighed very little so you had always had a physical advantage over me and he didn't really use it to be honest he didn't I didn't I never got bullied by my brothers physically or anything like that and verbally but not physically but even

verbally it was just more arguments and trying to get each other into trouble if that makes sense but it never never bullied me and so I was I've never put up with it I think all of us never put up with being bullied it's like no ain't gonna happen so that was good like in life so that's something I've always kind of stuck to and the thing is he used to wind me up though really wind me up and once I don't know this was a I was probably 14 at the time so not long

before I left school actually it's about 14 years old maybe 13 probably 14 though and he kept saying like he kept winding me up pushing me and pushing me and pushing me in the end I said come on then outside so let's let's do this yeah let's have a punch up that's honestly that's what I said I don't know if I said it like that it would have been more like okay then let's have a punch up then brother come on then you think you're tough enough you want some you want some I don't know

I was always tiny but and he just laughed at me he was just he would poke in front of me and it all it was just what brothers do with each other you know what he wasn't doing anything bad he was just winding me up just for the fun of it but I was taking it seriously I was biting as it were you know on the uh not literally and so I said come on then and I went outside and we had a back door which was that was out of the kitchen the kitchen door

left went into the garden so I went out into the kitchen well I went out into the garden through the kitchen door it was raining outside so I turn to say come on and he closes the door and locks it and laughing at me just looking through the window laughing it was around that time that I started to wonder whether or not he took me seriously and then he did open the door and we had a fight and our stepmom came in and stopped it and it was weird like really just I think it's only

two times or another time on the first floor we had a punch up and admittedly he was pushing forward so he he was wasn't hurting me but he was leading he was like you know I was walking backwards Vinnie just farted the biggest fart ever and he's acting like it didn't happen and I'm pretty sure right then I looked at him and he went like that you know you can't see what I'm doing you know when people fart and they go like that with their hand in front of their nose like just waved their hand

in front of the nose he just did that with his hand so I think he smelled it and he thought oh and then he carried on with his bone that's my version of the story that it's not connected to what I was talking about it's not connected no so yeah that time damn him he he kicked me in the in the goolies and I went down on the floor like you know as you do and the thing is he came to make sure I was okay so you know got to hand it to him he

could have he'd be clear in a way he was just playing with me you know he just he just let me I didn't I guess I never stood a chance but I kind of just oh he used to push me he used to push me but you know what I was talking about this the other day to someone and I like punching have done since I was a little kid but I don't when I'm on the punch bag I don't imagine punching a person genuinely I'm not interested in punching a person I just like punching

the punch bag it's fun you know I got my first punch bag when I was about 13 and I've had multiple punch bags all the way up to 79 that I am now so 52 so imagine what's that 13 to 52 what's that 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 so that's over 11 years wow that's a long time isn't it to be

punching punch bags at least no wonder my hands my hands are a mess I don't know they I'm a little bit stiff with my hands but no pun intended so yeah always had to win always had to win oh the tooth fairy that's it the tooth fairy so I was pulling out my teeth not pulling them out just they were loose I wish it was like that with adult teeth not other people like my own I mean because I had a toothache it was October I had two teeth removed and the only reason I had

two teeth removed was because they took two out I guess but they had ruined one tooth to save the other so they put a fill-in in one okay this is years I say they the dentists different dentists they put a fill-in in one and the fill-in kept coming out you know every now and then every couple of years or whatever over a 10-year period it might have been longer in fact and they kept saying oh don't know we might have to have root canal I said look I don't like boats let's move on I told

you he looked at me weirdly but he said okay and I thought and what they started doing I didn't it didn't ask my permission for this by the way they said well we can do something we can save that tooth I said good I didn't say in an attitude or way like that good now get on with it I didn't I mean that said good good good good oh good I don't know I said it in a nice way good I don't know how but but what they did is they drilled into the other tooth

and used that and put a fill-in in there to and joined the two teeth together in order to keep that fill-in in that one now what that meant is there was no gap between them two teeth I'm now pointing towards my mouth because there's a massive gap but there's no gap between the two teeth because that filling crossed over the top but at the bottom there was a gap so food could get in there this is gross I know but so the filling didn't go all the way down to the gums it was just in

the teeth and because I use dental floss you know I know that having food in between your teeth isn't great you know it's so I try not to and it's easier when you've got no teeth I guess but I did everything to avoid breaking that that filling you know so that you know trying to leave that over the top I've got these sticks trying to you know going sort of to do dental floss but like through the bottom of the teeth as it were to make sure that everything was clean when I say sticks I

don't mean like a big branch from a tree but like toothpick kind of stuff and then I'd use dental floss dental dam what's a dental dam is that like a dental floss yeah but I'd use um dental floss I just whistled dental floss remember kettles the old kettles anyone over the age of 40 maybe remembers them they used to used to boil them used to like be metal things he's drinking water I don't want to give you running commentary on what he's doing all I can see is his big bumhole staring at me go away

he's just winking he's staring just go put your can you put your tail down his tail's always up it's almost like he's proud of it I'm hoping he's gonna oh he'll probably want my attention now now that he's done what he's done I think he's probably unless he's just cleansing his palate so he can go and enjoy the last little bit of the bone I don't know we might just chill out and have a little rest or he might decide to hassle me which is often the case I mean he usually makes the bone last

for over an hour and it's good because it cleans his teeth as well and he loves it he's yeah I think he's still got some left they're only dirty little ones but they're they're like chew yeah he's got loads left he just took it under the table oh he's happy he's a happy little thing so yeah eventually I was I was doing the dental dam thing in my teeth in my mouth and because I wasn't in the mirror I wasn't I wasn't in the mirror but I wasn't I wasn't looking in the mirror I was

doing it by touch by feel and that particular part didn't have any feeling sensation because it was filling you know it's filling tooth filling metal or whatever it is they use and I pushed down and it split it didn't split the teeth bit it divided the teeth so there was then a gap between the teeth but the filling still stayed in the teeth each individual tooth but the whole point of having the filling in the other tooth and drilling into the tooth that wasn't having a problem hello mate you're right the one that wasn't a

problem was to support the one that did have a problem well it was okay for a while and then I bought this story is the most boring story then I bought a curly whirly now I don't know if anyone remembers curly whirlies or even knows what a curly whirly is but they are really brilliant chocolate bars and they've got holes in them and they're basically toffee covered in chocolate and they used to be huge now they're not so huge Vinnie's now looking at the table looks like he wants to climb on the table I'm beginning

to realize something about this little monkey here is don't touch the microphone no don't touch the microphone please when I'm not here I think he gets onto the tables because there's stuff on the floor that wasn't on the floor before now I do blame him for a lot of the mess because he has made a lot of the mess and I've got a rule in life if something falls on the floor that's where it stays it's just how it is but I don't remember dropping half of the stuff onto the floor that's on there and

I found something yesterday I think it was and it looked like it had mechanical bits to it like a little motherboard and you know it's like what is this it's like some kind of little hard disk drive thing that you plug into a laptop but it was it was electrical and he's been chewing it and I thought wow that's not good where the heck would he get something like that from because one thing I know for sure is I do not leave electrical equipment on the floor apart from the fact it's too expensive to be

given to a dog as a chew toy it's also is health but more importantly it's too expensive to be given as a to a dog as a chew toy well I couldn't figure it out it could not like wear because it had a luminous yellow top and the only thing that I've ever had that had a luminous yellow top was those pens you know those fluorescent pens that you get and you take the top off and it's the same color as the well as the rest of it really because it's that's the color of the

ink inside that he's starting to go I'll have to move him into the bedroom in a minute and then I like really bugging me for at least a minute then I forgot about it and then I saw on the floor the missing part of that particular puzzle puzzle do you remember when I first got Vinnie I bought him a harness and this harness was a luminous yellow and it flashed look he's making he's really playing up for the microphone aren't you playing up to the camera that isn't there well he's got hold of that harness

that I haven't used with him he didn't like it so I stopped using it he used to flash on and off and do different kinds of flashing and stuff and because when I got him it was middle of December the thicker winter I it was pretty much dark every time I took him out well that's what he got hold of and he has desecrated it he's ruined ruined that thing and it cost it wasn't expensive but it was probably about 30 quid or something what are you doing what are you making weird noises for what

are you making weird noises for what do you want to give me cuddles give me cuddles come on give me cuddles give daddy cuddles no why why why not what is he looking for what is he looking for Finn he's just burped it isn't a big burp yeah I know I know you'll be self-conscious because I'm talking about you what is he looking for he's standing on my chair we're standing on it on my legs no stop that now that he's just at the beginning of barking now and if I don't it he will he'll

start barking no no barking you can come and give me cuddles I'll give you a big cuddle we can play fight if you want you play with that that's it he doesn't want to he wants to go out you want to go out you need to go do weewees he's moving his head from side to side it's so cute yeah all dogs do that I know but it's extra cute when it's your own dog in it you want to go for a weewee he doesn't want to play he's pulling away from it so he wants

normally when he does this he wants my attention he either wants to play or he wants to go out or usually that's the two things because I'm playing with him and he's not he doesn't want to do it I'm figuring that he must want to go out you want to go and do weewees okay let's do weewees say goodbye to everyone this is a little bit of a shorter recording I'm afraid but uh if you listen to the 10 hour version it'll still be the same length but I have to take this little monkey out

because as you can hear he's whining woof woof I can't do it at that high pitch I gotta go honestly he's gonna bark I'm gonna go now while he's not barking take care I'll speak to you tomorrow bye bye all right we gotta go out boy blimey you are so so demanding come on I've got to put your pants back on and then we'll go out I've got to put my clothes on you know I like to do these recordings in the nude I don't know why my knickering gets so hard Vinnie I don't know

anyway you ready to go want to go yeah do you want to do a poo before you go or do you want to do a poo while we're out there's plenty of room in the carpet on the corner no all right then I'm walking in the air