#979 What does the future hold Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (2nd March 2023)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland and please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. My website is jasonnewland.com. You can send me messages from there if you want.

In the background we have Vinnie Andre Newland eating a bone, a bone, not his bone but a bone. And you'll hear him crunching away for the duration of this recording. Probably.

That's pretty much the two options I have. Well I've got the two options now. The two options with him is put him in the bedroom, close the door and then close this door.

Or give him something to distract him for the duration of this recording. That's the only two options I have that I can figure out. Unless for whatever reason he decides to just sleep.

He has done that in the past. He'll just be in his little bed on the sofa and he'll be happy just being asleep. That's not as often as I'd like to be honest.

So yeah I give him the bone. I don't mind putting him in the bedroom because you know he's got the big bed to sleep on and he's happy in there. But you know I like to try and give him as much freedom to do what he wants.

But quite often what he wants is to just harass me. He wants me to play with him. And when I'm talking into the microphone making these podcasts he gets a bit frustrated.

He's like Daddy or Step Daddy. What are you doing? What are you talking about? You're not looking at me. You're not talking to me.

What is it you want? What are you trying to say? You want to play? I'm like no I'm trying to do a podcast. What's a podcast? I don't know how to explain it to you. Well why don't you give it a try? I'm quite intelligent you know.

Okay yeah so yeah those are the options. He's been a bit oh I don't want to moan about him. Oh yoddy yoddy yoddle.

I'm not felt very well today with a bit of just a bit a bit felt a bit rubbish. Just a little bit. I worked out I'm walking about three hours a day with him.

Every day I'm out in the streets walking for three hours. Sometimes in the fields as well. That's quite a lot of walking isn't it? No wonder my foot hurts.

Perhaps I should start wearing shoes. So I've been working on my YouTube channel. I've been trying to make as many videos as possible going back into the back catalogue of recordings with background music that sound okay.

So I'm listening to them. If their quality is good enough then I've been creating videos for them and then uploading to YouTube and scheduling them for future dates. So I'm not just uploading straight away.

I'm now up to the end of March with some of the recordings. When I do a let me boy to sleep one I do just release that pretty much because I'm up to date with those ones now. Like the most recent ones.

So I just upload that when I've done it. I'll you know convert that into a video. It does take a while though.

One video could take an hour two hours to process. So yeah it's not it's depending but let's say an hour hour and a half maybe an hour maybe maybe 10 minutes. Now it does take a while depending on the length of the video.

If it's a half hour video it takes less than if it's an hour and if it's an hour and a half video. So I'll just stop. I'll stop the sentence there I think.

So it's all right. I mean I'm trying to look have I got YouTube on the YouTube just have a look YouTube studio YouTube. Okay that's going very slow for some reason.

What internet am I on? Well I had to stop the recording there because the little bird started barking. He's so good when he's not barking but gets triggered so so very easily. And I just I can't get used to it.

Maybe I will get used to it over time but it annoys me. Because it's so loud so high pitched and sometimes I don't I'm not expecting it. If you know I mean it just comes out of nowhere.

Usually when well always when someone knocks on the door it's not usually every time someone knocks on the door. Fair enough that's that's just the way it is. But usually when he hears someone knocking on a neighbor's door he barks.

When he hears the downstairs dog bark he barks. They communicate they bark they actually they talk to each other. Between if like like the one downstairs woof woof and he's woof woof like that.

I don't know what they're saying to each other. And sometimes even when there's someone in the garden it is just I don't know what to do about him. I did get the bark collar but I did I did he didn't like it and I to be fair I'd only had him for a couple of weeks when I got the bark barking collar for him.

And I wanted him to be happy. I want him to be happy. I still do you know but especially then because it was new and he didn't want to be here.

He wanted to go and be with his mum. You know he just lives across the road. So he kept trying to get back into her home where he lived for three months before coming here.

He didn't want to be here. He didn't he didn't dislike me. But he you know he was just like okay when am I going home? But now he's he's at home here now.

I think he's he feels at home. This is his territory. The place is a mess but it's a mess because of him which is nice.

None of this mess is from me now which I quite like because I had a real clean up and I haven't made any mess. I mean I'm not saying none of it's me. Some of it might be me but generally it's him.

I'd say 90 percent is him. I mean it's good to have someone to blame isn't it? Maybe 80 percent. I don't know.

80 percent? 7? 70 percent? Anyway he's he seems to have made himself at home. He likes being on the bed when I'm not in the bed. He likes being on the bed when I am in the bed.

During the day he likes to sleep on the bed with me. During the night if I leave both the doors open the living room door and the bedroom door sometimes he'll sleep on the bed with me and then he'll go and sleep in here in his own bed. You know it sort of depends on how he feels.

If I actually want to get some sleep without being disturbed then I need to put him in here in the living room, close the door, close the bedroom door and have my own space. Now the problem with that is I kind of want him to be with me. If that sounds a bit strange.

I kind of I want him to be with me. He wants to be with me and if he doesn't then he can you know he can choose what he wants to do. But when he chooses to come and lay on the bed with me and cuddle up it feels nice.

It's like he's chosen that. You know he can choose to be in the living room, play with his toys, sleep on the settee, destroy the settee probably when I'm not around. Or come and you know lay on the bed with me.

Or he can decide to rip up some of my clothes or continue destroying the shoes that he's got of mine. So he's got choices, he's got things he can do. It doesn't sound like a particularly interesting life but it's probably more interesting than mine.

Wish I had some shoes to chew on. Which is a really strange sentence isn't it to say out loud. How weird.

Wish I had some shoes to chew on. No I would never thought I'd say that out loud. Even when I was 20.

One day you're going to say that you wish you had shoes to chew on. I'd have said no. Actually I'd have said no because I had a much higher pitched voice back then.

My voice didn't break until I think last year I think it was. If you listen, if you listen to some of my earlier recordings. I was like hi welcome to jasonnewland.com. No what is it? Welcome to www.jasonnewland.com. And now it's a really really high voice and I was trying to think why is my voice different now.

Now I haven't got a deep voice. I haven't got a deep voice. I don't I don't think I've got but I've got a soft voice generally.

I mean not all the time but generally you know I kind of choose my word in and not all the time either but you know it's it's a deeper voice than it was. And I remember when I was doing call center work people used to sort of assume that I was much younger than I was because I was what 20 no 30 before I even started doing call center work. And I sounded probably late teens early 20s you know I sounded very much much younger than I was but then thinking about it do I sound 52?

92? Do I I don't know how does how do people sound? Because not everybody sounds we're all different aren't we? And if you see somebody and you hear their voice they don't necessarily sound younger than they are because you can see them.

If you know what I mean well you know I mean you can see them it's it's kind of I I tell you what I'm going to do. There's this thing that I saw and I've never seen it before apart from when I did see it once before I remember now but generally it's not something I normally see. It was a YouTube video and it was an educational oh yeah it was it was something to do with the government and there was a specialist and they were doing it via I think it was Zoom or some kind of thing like that.

And each of the people like there was the lady that was hosting it and there was the lady that was the specialist who was being not so much interviewed but she was talking about a subject and each of them described themselves physically visually for visually impaired people I'm getting well I guess it must be yeah and I'm wondering maybe I should do that because there may be visually impaired people listening to this well there won't be any deaf people will there I mean unless you've got hearing aids and that um hearing impaired because it used

to be deaf and blind didn't it and now it's sort of changed to hearing impaired and blind and uh vision vision vision impaired and the thing is I think it's worth remembering that if someone was to get upset because someone uses the word blind or deaf they're not doing it out of malice it's just after 40 odd years maybe or 30 years of using a certain terminology it becomes part of your your it becomes part of you you're part of your language and it's not I mean I think that's what happened I reckon in the

earlier days with things like I've got to be careful what I say now but I think genuinely some people were using words that they shouldn't use anymore describing maybe different ethnic groups but they didn't mean it in a horrible way like genuinely didn't mean it that way it's just that's the way everybody spoke at that time I remember something my nan said to me and I was like wow wow and she said oh uh yeah that's just how we spoke in the 40s the 1930s 1940s 1950s it wasn't a hatred thing it was uh it

was a weird because I don't think my nan had a a horrible bone in her body well she had osteoporosis so she had lots of horrible bones but you know it's technically she was just a really loving person and she'd I'd actually go around her house and um sometimes sometimes she'd even open the door and let me in no I'd go around her house and she'd be crying she'd be watching the news and crying and she's just when when my dad went to cancel because when my nan passed away 2014 December just after Christmas brilliant

timing uh it was 28th of December 2014 and and she they had to cancel her direct debits she had loads of direct debits to charities she couldn't say no so someone sent her a letter through the post wanting money for um I don't know eye surgery for in Africa or wanted to save the elephants or whatever it was she'd always give something if she could and she had loads and loads and loads of these things and nearer the end of as she got older the last like 10 years maybe six years of her life my

dad used to check the mail and he used to get rid of those so that she didn't sign up for any more because she was literally just giving all her money away and he wanted to be left something no he didn't um and it was just she was so kind and giving that's why that's what I'm trying to say I'm not saying like the language that people used in the older days was I mean really unacceptable now like not even it's just wow not not not on but it wasn't meant with malice I mean I'm

sure a lot of people did mean it with malice and whatever but it was kind of one of those things that you know when I was at work when I first started working everyone had nicknames if someone was from Australia I didn't even have to be from Australia they might have just gone to Australia for one you know once and they'd be called Oz for the rest of their life that'd be their nickname Oz why is he called Oz well he had a beard he had a beard um five years ago and he looked a

bit like Rolf Harris so we called all houses from Australia so we called him Oz now I'm realizing as I was saying that that wasn't a good example but it's people used to have those names and they're like a nickname Andre the original Andre the only Andre no the original that I was friends with back in the 90s the early 90s when I met him it was like 92 they called him no legs now he wasn't in a wheelchair he did have legs he wasn't tall but it was the same height as me but it

was fat and someone else used to call him knickknack because he was Irish knickknack paddywhack I mean I never called him that and I thought that was offensive so I didn't and he didn't seem to like that but the person who used to call him that didn't seem to care very much about what anyone else thought but he was called he was called no legs and I'm like why is he called why did you call him no and it wasn't behind his back it was to his face like no legs come in have you seen

no legs that was it it was his nickname the big boss used to call him Andrew because he struggled saying Andre because it's such a name to to pronounce where's Andrew Andrew there's no Andrew working here don't be facetious you know what I mean Andrew the Irish little Irish man well he's where he where he's from isn't really relevant is it and he's not little he's the same size as me in fact he's probably taller than me by about an inch you know what I mean don't make me say the word properly but I think

it's a name not a word but okay on and Andre Andre Andrew okay Andrew he's gone through poo that's where he is so you know I didn't tell you how he got sacked from the job that I was working at he got sacked this is how he got sacked right he had a box and he drew a picture of the box there was a couple of people there doing this they drew a picture of someone that worked in the other there's this big window and they worked in the other room so they could see through

and I don't know what his name was Arthur or something like that so they basically wrote his name above his head this was the person that they big picture of him his head and his body in that like caricature and there's a big big box and they decided to start chucking knives at it now the person whose name it was could see through and he was one of the supervisors he was in charge of that department took exception to this reported it to the management and Andre and the other man person who was doing it

with him were dismissed and it wasn't about the box it was about chucking knives around I mean it's even in the early 90s when health and safety wasn't that big it was still big enough to know you shouldn't chuck knives around you know when there's other people about and it was just there's no way there's there's no way out of it really and it was a shame because he was the boss Andre was the the supervisor of our department now I think the supervisors was a bit of a cursed job because a previous supervisor lost

his job because he went to prison for calling a bomb scare to Liverpool street station so this is true and it sounds like oh awful man no he was an unbelievably nice person he was such a nice person I hope he's okay and well and everything and he basically I think his girlfriend left him and he wanted to stop her from leaving and so he phoned in the thingy in a phone box not realizing the phone box although it was outside Liverpool street station opposite metropolitan police I mean the worst place to make you know

they knew that phone box number and so he you know he was he did some bird for that and he was a really really nice bloke I saw him about a year or two later and I wasn't sure what to say to him I wanted to sort of see if he was okay but I didn't really have anything to help him any way to help him really I wish I had some money I could have just given to him or something but yeah so that job seemed a bit a bit weird a bit of a

weird job it's not cursed but yeah yeah but anyway that was Andre I don't know why am I mentioning Andre oh yeah no legs he did have legs but he was short but so was I but we weren't like short short it's not like we were like three foot tall there's nothing wrong with being three foot tall if you're three foot tall good for you happy nine year ninth birthday but if you know it's I'm five eight so I'm not the tallest person in the world obviously but you know what one of the pound for

pound boxes greatest boxes in the world at the moment Canelo Alvarez is five foot eight so I'm all right with that I'm okay with that I'm taller than Tom Cruise and he's uh he's quite successful isn't he so I'm all right with that I'm okay taller than Bruce Lee was yeah I'm all right with that yeah yeah so there's plenty of people that have been successful that have been shorter than me okay three people but that's enough that's enough so yeah it's these people used to have nicknames there was one um Bungalow Bill and apparently

he was named after because there was this celebrity I think she married this bloke married Barbara Windsor I think this was she was a really famous actress in the UK she was in the carry-on movies and then she was in EastEnders and she did lots of other things as well I'm sure but she I think she married him or she was Bungalow Bill and apparently it's called Bungalow Bill because he was so most his treasures all his treasures were downstairs referring to his bits and bobs being very large it's a weird I don't know Bungalow

Bill anyway but apparently this bloke's called Bungalow Bill and that was it really that's the only thing I've got to say about him I don't really know didn't know him very well what other people did I meet there's some strange characters that's just generally I met a lot of in that like job I had doing temping you know the early 90s and stuff late 80s early 90s I did I met a lot of people from different countries and at the time it's mainly Africa and India that people come from I know Africa is not a

country blah blah blah but different parts of Africa and I made some friends there was one called what's his name there's one called Guy and he was French so he's from a former French colony and he was lovely but he we did some he did martial arts I think he was a kung fu or something so we had a little spa and I ended up cutting his eye open it was an accident but he was playing around and it was like three years later he still had this scar down the side of his face it's

not a big scar but like really and I feel just from my nails or something it wasn't it was an accident but I like it was really pouring my blood and I was like oh oh no I hope I haven't upset him but it was cool it was really lovely and there was Thomas and me and him used to just keep arguing we're almost like brothers in a sense like just got on really well but always arguing and winding each other up so that was quite funny what other people did I meet I met people

that were students that were just doing it for a little bit of part-time work you know in the summer time there's one one bloke and he was what was he was studying psychology and he wanted to be a a psychologist or yeah something like that and he used to get he like the job was so boring it was boring but the job was so boring for him because he was an intellectual or whatever and he just he used to start counting the tiles on the wall and try and try and see how many he could

count to work out and this was a big big big unit of not him but the big room we was in and it was there was I guess thousands of tiles and he invited us to go to a party on a Saturday and I say us it's like a few people that I was friends with there we used to hang out outside of work Andre being one of them and they my and I didn't know they'd invited us but my friends told me that we were invited to this place it was around the corner from

where we worked and it was like a student accommodation place because there was a university in my town like where near where I lived in Stratford University of East London still still there and they said I said so what time you get in there said well we'll meet you there at two o'clock because I lived fairly close to the place so I said okay fair enough so I went there I couldn't see the man that we knew I don't know where he was but there was definitely something going on there's a big old party going

on and I sat there on the sofa waiting for my friends to turn up waiting for the one I knew let's call him uh asparagus asparagus ears or whatever we used to call him and I was waiting for asparagus ears to come to turn up because I figured he lived there he must be around somewhere he didn't turn up my friends didn't turn up it was a setup so the bloke that lived there didn't know anything about it he must have mentioned there was a party or something but my friends thought it was funny if

they just told me to meet them there and I was there for about three hours and I think I fell asleep and in the end I just left I said look this is just I'm sorry this is embarrassing and people kept coming up and saying are you okay and I could hear people saying who is he what does he want I don't know he's been here for like five days he's just sitting there but why I don't know said something about a party there's no party is there I know he thinks there's a party so

that's just a few friends we all live here it's a Saturday afternoon we're just having a having a smoke and a drink and it's just a normal Saturday where do you get the idea it's a party I don't know in the end I said look I can hear you you know you realize you're either side of me on the sofa you know it's a bit rude what I said well you know what rude is what rude is is coming and sitting down in between us when we're talking and staying there for six weeks and eating

all our food so I haven't eaten any of your food they said yeah I think you have I said look is your okay is your name Tony or Steve either of those he said I'm not Steve but I am Tony I said okay I ate some of your food then okay because you've got labels on them in the fridge but generally I didn't realize I thought you were Steve so why would you think I was Steve I don't know it just makes sense for the story oh you're talking about the podcast again you're pretending we're

talking about the podcast even though it was like 30 years ago and podcasts didn't exist back then it's a bit surreal isn't it yeah exactly I'm not sure if it works anymore I think you've done it too many times do you reckon how can you tell though what do you mean how can I tell well you can't have listened on the podcast because podcasts haven't been invented yet so how can you judge me on something you've never heard before oh no this is getting too complicated so yeah um last night was weird I woke up

in the middle of the night and I was having these weird feelings but it was pleasure not used to having pleasurable feelings and I really was confused really kind of didn't know where I was or anything I don't know I was in the middle of a dream and maybe I got woken up by him in the other room it was very strange very strange feeling but uh I don't know I just it felt weird very weird weird that's all I can say really it was a very strange experience very unusual yes I'm quite hungry actually

I don't know what to eat though I've been quite good with my food although I see to put a bit of weight on I'm actually over 15 stone now so and I'd lost I thought I'd gone down to 15 I had gone down to 15 now yeah a few pounds above I mean I did admittedly I had a pizza on Sunday night and I had two cans of coke and that's the first time I've had any coke for a couple of weeks and I've had no coke since either that was just a two cans of

coke with the pizza so now I wouldn't think there'd be enough calories in that bearing in mind I weighed myself on the Monday so you know I don't think there'd be that many calories so quickly so I don't know is it because of the tea I'm drinking tea and there's sugar in the tea every time I drink the tea I don't have like lots of spoons I just have pretty three quarters of a spoonful in a cup of tea but then if I'm having how many cups of tea do I have a day I have

one cup of coffee first thing with my breakfast then I'll take him for a walk first then I do one cup of tea mid-morning one cup of tea kind of early afternoon another cup of tea later on then another cup of tea for dinner so maybe I'll have six five or six cups of tea a day so that is that's a fair bit of sugar isn't it I suppose so maybe if what I might do I can't believe I got so excited then what I might do is order myself some can you hear me so

the good old lick my chair's clicking he's actually pretty much eating pretty much pretty much eating the whole bone which means he's going to start giving me attention like making weird noises hopefully he's not I think he's gone back to the remainder of the bone he's gonna do that good um I forgot what I was saying now I forget oh yeah um nope food calories sugar yeah uh I'm thinking of getting myself some honey to put in my tea and my coffee instead of sugar and the only time I have sugar outside of tea and

coffee is when I have Weetabix when I have the ready brick I have currants and like dried fruit on top so I don't have any sugar with that wow this is boring this that is probably among the most boring things I've said this week okay it's not but it's still boring isn't it unless there's a few people out there thinking I wish I wish he'd talk more about sugar doesn't talk enough about sugar he really doesn't hmm oh dear oh dear so this week it's now it's now Thursday and I did do recording a couple

of days ago but it's been nearly a month since I did a deep sleep whisper which is very strange for me to have it go that long it is yeah it's weird the stats have gone weird as well I'm not quite sure what's going on there but it is the 2nd of March and the last time I did a deep sleep whisper was the 9th of February and the last time I did a relax and sleep hypnosis daily was the 9th of February as well so it's three weeks ago isn't it the last time I

did a let me bore you to sleep was the 27th of February 8th one so that was not Wednesday not Tuesday 20 Wednesday was the 1st of March Tuesday was the 28th of March Monday was the 27th no yeah 27th of March Sunday was the 26th of February not March February I mean sorry so okay today is the 2nd of March Thursday Wednesday was the 1st of March 2023 Wednesday Tuesday was the 28th of February and Monday was the 27th of February which was Vinnie's birthday so Monday was the last time I did a recording

it's now Thursday it's not it's not great is it and the day before that was the 25th before that was 21st 20th so I've gone from doing them quite regularly to doing them not so regularly I don't know I'm not sure what's happening my motivation not not to this but just everything my motivation has really not been huge lately what's going on I think midlife crisis maybe maybe that's what it is I'm thinking about what is it I want to do what is it I really really want to do and what am I not willing

to do anymore and there's some things that I do that are like online I mean they're kind of quite popular that I'm not sure if I want to do it anymore and I'm not talking about the Let Me Boy To Sleep podcast right away but I don't know if I can blimey there's one hell of a scratch in the wall he's not even hearing it that's like um I don't know if it was from the living room or whatever at the living room the the the place upstairs wow it might be a bird because is

this the time of the year where birds are born like spring time because it's March I know it's not officially spring but I don't think nature I don't think well I don't think I've looked in a few trees I've never seen the calendar that's what I'm saying so I don't don't think they really go by that and I think next week we're I think we're supposed to have some snow that's what I remember hearing how weird would that be apparently on YouTube I've got 211 videos and I've got scheduled scheduled scheduled scheduled up to the

27th of March wow so there's ones I've made that are not released 31 2 3 4 I've got 34 videos that have not been released yet so one being two being released no wow what wow third third of March scheduled as relax your sleep hypnosis stop smoking wow I've got four being released tomorrow but it's four different recordings four different ones that Let Me Bore You To Sleep from a few days ago one is a stop smoking one's a relaxed sleep hypnosis daily and one's an ASMR deep sleep whisper so yeah four being released tomorrow

blimey that's quite a lot but that's that's an anomaly and not a lot of money a lot of money because I normally have like one maybe two right with uh with a forecast uh so what is it it says today and then Friday show full forecast but how far ahead is it going to go it doesn't does it how can we tell which one is snowing which one's not snow chance of precipitation rain why not just put rain why use big expensive words like that cloudy cloudy very very cloudy temperature five degrees four degrees tomorrow

three degrees at midnight when I get up it's going to be well I'm normally up five six seven in the morning so it'd be three degrees and then it'll get up to eight degrees during the day and then go back down again why can't I see if it's going to snow I want to see if it's going to snow four degrees that's not going to snow anyway that is it two degrees but then it says it feels like the actual temperature then it feels like what do you mean feels like isn't that subjective I mean

I'll walk with my friend and I'll I'll I'll be not sweating it won't be like swamp a swamp down there but it'll be like oh this is this is quite warm perhaps I didn't need my coat on and they'll be shivering like oh it's really cold so it's it's it's not the same for everyone is it chance of participation everyone is so clever in name of their words their words minus three minus five oh okay oh Wednesday zero degrees at midnight this is the lowest one zero degrees at three zero degrees not one degree at

six so doesn't say anything about snow but you know it only goes for as far as Wednesday wind direction speed wind gusts visibility hue I want to see if it's going to snow that's all I want to know is it going to snow is it going to snow according to the Met Office snow snow snow weather forecast snow will we get snow does this snow okay it says here snow risk zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero oh

Tuesday the 7th Snow risk 29% in my general area.

29% chance of snow at midnight but zero chance the rest of the day. Wow.

Really? Really? Chance of snow. Rain risk. Confidence.

I don't know what confidence means. I do know what confident means. Confidence means but they've got like time with a temperature or temp.

Rain risk. Wind. Air pressure.

Cloud cover. Confidence. It's a bit strange.

So I just had a someone knocking on my door and it's a little bit of an interruption but and I've got no idea what I was talking about. But I think I know how he's going. So he's been interrupted and now he's been playing and he wants to play with me now.

So I better go. I better go. Okay.

Make some whining noises for us before we go. That's me. That's not him.

Go on. Make some noises. Make some weird noises.

Go on. I will. I'm going to try and be back tomorrow.

Try and make another recording tomorrow. And that's him by the way. Either that or I'm a very good ventriloquist being able to do two voices at the same time.

And when I say ventriloquist, yeah. He's not. Yeah.

Stop it. I'm going now. Remember to be kind to yourself.

Remember to be gentle with yourself because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love. You can say goodbye to everyone.

Say goodbye. Say goodbye. Bye bye.

Say goodbye. Say goodbye. Say goodbye everybody.

Bye everybody. Go on. Say goodbye.

Finny, say goodbye. Say goodbye. Say goodbye.

That was it. See ya.