#975 Vinny ate my sofa Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (20th February 2023)

Hello and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name is Jason Newland. Please only listen where you can safely close your eyes.

Now this is the third time, no fourth time actually, so I tried to make this recording yesterday and and it just didn't, it didn't go anywhere. Unlike all the other recordings I do and and I've tried this is my third time now and each time Vinnie started barking and he was in the bedroom. So I thought if someone at the door was going on, nobody at the door and he was barking both times.

So in the end I've let him in here, I've given him one of his bones to chew on, which you might be able to hear in the background. I'm hoping that that will keep him satisfied for a period of time. I'm hoping, I really really hope so.

And I hope you well. I've got a message, I think I've got a message somewhere to read out. I've got a message.

Nope. I'm sure I had a message. Message, message, message, message, message, release your equity from your home.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Where is it? This is my inbox.

I've got a lot of rubbish in it. Absolutely ridiculous, the amount of crap I got. And new message.

Yay. This is from Anya. I hope you're feeling well after your health scare.

Much love to you. Thank you for all you do. I can finally sleep listening to your lovely voice.

Eternally grateful. Thank you Anya. That's very lovely.

I do appreciate that. It's very kind. I'm sure I got a couple of other messages.

Oh yeah, I did. Okay. From Mary.

So first of all, Mary, thank you for your PayPal gift. Very grateful for that. And much needed at the moment as well.

So thank you. So and Mary says, Hi, Jason, great to hear that you're back. I thought us let me bore you to sleepers had peed you off.

I'm sorry that you've had a bit of a time of it with your neighbor's situation. And then your health scare. Paramedics do an amazing job and I'm glad that they helped you cope.

Amazing to hear that you've lost a stone. I think you'll be aware of the impact. Thank you.

Right. Okay, and then there's a second one now. Bloomin heck, I hit the send button before I'd finished.

Anyway, I'm sure you'll soon feel the benefits of losing the weight and staying off the coke, which is so expensive. Now. I remember when we got a full bottle of lemonade, coke, iron brew.

I'm Scottish remember from the ice cream van for free D in old money. Then it doubled in price when we transferred to decimalization in 1971. How old are you 94 we had a five minute slot before the six o'clock news on a national education exercise to teach the public on how really a five minute slot to teach you how to use the new currency Wow.

And the program started every night of the song which was meant to grab our attention. These these these decimalization decimalize decimalization decimal. I seem to be the only one who remembers a tune.

You just keep walking with we Winnie cut out the coke and chocolate and stay well. I just listened to old podcasts when you don't record but it's nice when you make new ones. Well, Jason cheers big ears.

The reply being same goes big nose or so I thought. No, do not read this out. This reply is actually okay.

So I won't read that bit out. And also gonna I remember the old decimal I don't remember decimalization because I was born in 1970. So I was one years old when it happened.

One might have not even been one year. I don't know what time of the year it was. If it was if it was September or October, November or December, I'd have been a year old.

But if it was before my birthday, my first birthday, then I wouldn't have been a year old. Which seems a bit silly to set that out loud now really, I think about it. So I never experienced decimal decimalization.

I grew up with one pence and or half pennies. We used to have half pennies, one pennies, two pennies, five pennies. 1050 pence that was it.

I don't think we had 20. Did we have 20 pences back then? I'm not sure. Did we have 20 pences? I'm not sure.

I honestly don't remember. But we had 50 pences. And then we didn't have pound coins when I was a kid.

Or did we have pound coin? No, we had pound notes. That's it. So that was the coins.

And then we had one pound notes. Five pound notes, 10 pound notes, 20 and then 50. I don't think there's anything above 50 any now is there? I don't know.

I don't think so. I've never seen anything above 50. So it's a million pound note.

So I don't remember. But yeah, as far as pennies goes, I'm pretty sure there wasn't a 20 pence piece when I was a little kid. And then they made the 20 pence pieces.

But I might be wrong. I know they changed the 20 pence piece. And they also changed the 50 pence piece to make it smaller, I think.

And then they introduced, and this was probably in the 80s, late 80s time, they introduced the one pound coin, which was to replace the pound note, but it took years before it replaced it. They were both like in circulation at the same time. In my memory, it might not be true, but it's my memory.

And then they introduced the two pound coin. But there was never a, well, I never knew a two pound note. I don't think it was ever a two pound note unless there was.

That's my excuse. There might not be unless there was. Oh, okay.

Okay, right. So there's that was, that was from. Yeah, that was from Mary.

So thank you, Mary, for the messages. Yeah, and I've come to the realization that I need to, I need to evaluate my situation at the moment. You take a little bit of time just to sort of look at things, observe where I am, what I'm doing, where I'm going, where do I want to go? And I guess aim for that.

Because, you know, it's a bit of a difficult time last week. And I don't really want to go back to that. I want to sort of avoid avoid that if I can.

So I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow. And I've got another doctor's appointment on Friday. So I'll have some bloods done and stuff like that and hopefully find out what the what the situation is.

But the it was hypertension, I was kind of told by the paramedics, hypertension, and very likely caused on by the stress of the situation. So I'm probably the worst person in the world to listen to to relax. So I won't I won't talk anymore about that.

But yeah, it's very weird. Just got I'm thinking of getting back into meditation a bit as well. And now my back is pretty much healed, I can get back, get back my back and get back to more exercise.

Other than just walking the dog, you know, so I'd like to, it's not euphemism, Vinnie, you know, taking him for a walk. So I do quite a few miles a day with him. But I'd like to get back and maybe do set myself up a routine of press ups and sit ups.

Maybe get on the exercise bike. Although I really don't like exercise bikes. I don't know why I've got one.

Get myself some weights because I gave my weights away to a neighbor. Because just because I'm a nice guy. And I couldn't use them for a while.

I might not right now because I can't afford to but I might join a gym in a few months time. Once most of the debts have been sort of paid off, I can then start looking to I don't know, maybe get to the gym, but perhaps get some weights here. I've got a punch bag that I've had for a while, but I got it before Christmas.

I got it in November, or maybe beginning of December. And I didn't install it because I couldn't use it. I just left it in the box.

And it's one of those stand up punch bags. So I'll probably get that set up in the next few days. And then I'll be able to have a bit of a workout.

Maybe work on workout on that once a day for an hour or something. So that should be good bit of conditioning. It's good for cardio as well.

Because although I'm kind of static, like the if you do something for an hour, physical, it does it gets the blood rate up or the heart rate up and stuff and gets things pumping and moving. As it were, I thought I might even just walk up and down the stairs. Maybe once a month.

That might be helpful. I don't know. It's dark in here.

It's actually it's not dark, dark, but it's you know that light when it's actually lighter outside than it is inside. That's where I am right now. And it's 20 to six in the evening.

And it's still relatively light outside. It's not light light, but it's dusk. And it wasn't long ago that it was darker than this at four o'clock.

It's lightened up so much so quickly. It's phenomenal, really. I love it.

I love this time of year just seeing, you know, the the mornings starting earlier, the evenings lasting longer, the the birds waking up, you know, I mean, I hear the bird I remember last year, I was six o'clock in the morning, I could hear the birds outside. And it's technically it's not spring yet. But we're what day is it today? The 20th of February.

So only another what three weeks till spring, something like that. I don't know when spring starts. March, isn't it? I think is.

So 20th of February. Another. Well, it's another eight days left of the month, which is kind of weird when you think about it.

Just I think you're 20 days and I think the 20th like I've got ages till the end of the month, we're only halfway through. We've only got just over a week left. It just, I don't know, it seems this is normal, really, doesn't it? It's 28 days.

It's just normal. It's only leap year, isn't it? When if people are born on the 29th of February, every four years, there's a 29th of February, I think. So if you're born on that day, you only you only age one year every four years, technically.

So how old would I be then? I'd only be about five, wouldn't I? So work it out. Why can't things be where they should be? Oh, there we go. Okay.

I'd be 13. I'd be 13 now if I only aged one year every four years. 13, still old, isn't it? Wow.

I thought I'd be like three or four. 13. Blimey, I remember when I was 13.

And it just amazes me that it's nearly it's nearly 40 years ago. It's like, how? I was saying to my friend earlier that I remember when I was thinking about, like, I was amazed that it's been 10 years already since I left school. And this was like 1996.

It's been 10 years. And now it's been about 92 years. Wow.

Wow. So yeah, and relax. It's not a lot happened, really.

And what I've done is yesterday, I decided to have a movie day. And it was Sunday yesterday. Was it Sunday? Yeah.

And I watched the Maze Runner. The second one, the Scorched Trials, and the third one, which is, I can't remember what it's called. So I started watching the third one.

And I would say the first one's the best one so far from what I've seen. I think maybe the second one, the good thing about it is it does sort of let you know what the first one was about. You know, it does.

It asks questions, moral questions. You know, the whole thing is, do you sacrifice, sacrifice, I don't know, 1% of the population to save the other 99%? It's not, that's not the figures in the movie, but it's that kind of situation where is that morally okay? And it's, it's, it's interesting. I think that's probably the case in a lot of situations in life is both sides think they're right.

But from the outside, both sides could look like they're very, very wrong. Very wrong indeed. So yeah, I caught Vinnie last night ripping my sofa.

He was ripping the stuffing out of the sofa, and I filmed him. So I will stick that on Facebook at some point. Little cheeky little monkey.

I mean, he's doing that while I'm in the room. I found out something else that I didn't realize because his, his previous foster mum sent me a text and said, can I bring him around? She wanted to see me. So I took him around to see her.

And she told me something that I didn't know. I mean, there's lots of things I don't know, but this was something that I didn't know about Vinnie. One of the reasons she had to get rid of him is because she refused to give him a bit of chicken because she was worried about the bones choking him.

And he bit her on the face. He bit her on the face. And she realized she couldn't have him in the house with her grandchildren in case he did the same to them.

Now, if I'd have known two months ago that he'd bit her in the face, I would not have taken him. I wouldn't, I don't, wouldn't want a dog like that. And he was quite aggressive with me when I first got him.

He used to turn on me a bit. Doesn't anymore. He really knows where is, you know, he knows what's what now.

And if there's something in his mouth that I want it out, I tell him to drop it. And if he doesn't drop it, I'll put my fingers in his mouth and take it out. And he lets me, doesn't bite me, nothing like that.

Now, he used to. He used to snap at me. Never actually bit me or drew blood, I don't think, but he used to be snappy and like really quite growly, like a bit vicious.

Hasn't done that for weeks and weeks and weeks. Which I'm glad, I'm glad. But I was a little bit surprised, if I'm honest.

I was surprised that he had bitten someone, I mean, on the face as well. I mean, and she said if he'd have done that to one of her grandchildren, he'd be put down. I was like, wow.

Can you get your grandchildren around here? Let's see if we can get him to do it. I was like, wow. I was like, I didn't know.

It'd be nice to know that. There's lots of things I didn't know about him. He doesn't like being held.

Bit of a temper, has tantrums, doesn't like doing what he's told. Still doesn't like doing what he's told, but he doesn't have a lot of choice with me, because I'm, I give him lots of love, but I do try and be strict, to a degree. And I just told you that I watched him rip up the sofa, so that's probably not that strict.

But I found it funny. I don't know why, I just thought, let's make a good video. But he went to do it today and I said no, and he stopped straight away.

So it's something that he'll do if he can get away with it, but he's not that bothered. He does like to chew things, he does like to destroy things. And he's destroyed many pairs of my underwear, my socks, two pairs of shoes.

And that's fine, I let him have them, he can do it. Well, he took them and I decided to let him keep them. And that's fine, and he's destroyed them.

But he enjoys it. He likes to bite things, that's his thing. And he's not even a year old, he's still a puppy really, isn't he? He's not even a year.

He'll be a year old on the 27th of February. I want to get him a cake, like a doggy cake. In fact, I should do that while I'm talking to you.

I want to go into Amazon. I can't. Let's have a look.

Thing is Amazon, Amazon dog cake. Wow, look, there's a dog happy birthday. Cake toy plush cat.

No, it's a toy. It's not a cake. Four cake topper with googly bone four year old birthday cake pick puppy dog.

Fourth birthday. Why the same puppy dog is fourth is fourth, not a puppy if they're four, are they? I mean, toddler, maybe three or two years old as a toddler. I don't know.

Um, dog birthday cake, hatch rolls, dog gift present. Oh, barking bakery, dog cupcake, iced muffin, doggy carrot cake, birthday treat. meal is always another one is level one.

Oh, trio of mini iced muffins, three little cupcakes for dog, doggy treat, dog, doggy treat. One is just doggy treat. It's a doggy treat for a dog.

Okay. Five pound 18. Barking bakery, dog celebration.

Cake, carb chocolate. Barking cake dog. It can't be chocolate.

It's not allowed to have chocolate. So that's I have to check that can't be real chocolate surely. Carb chocolate.

Does it say it doesn't say package chocolate flavor is a chocolate flavor. It doesn't mean it has any chocolate in it. Does it? I can't remember but unfortunately I would advise against what is a shelf life for this product please.

I've sort of said it came broken and it was waste of money. Dog friendly heart sponge cake with dog chocolate coating decorated with bone shaped biscuits. My dog loved it.

So it's dog it's dog friendly. Well, it's gotta be dog. Well, can't assume really can we can't assume this dog friendly but I would expect it to be dog friendly as it's a dog cake for dogs.

Oh, happy birthday cake. Now it's a toy. The ones that look really nice are toys.

The ones because this has got fruit on it and icing and oh, it's a toy. Let's explain why it's so cheap. Oh, there's another one.

The Bee Bakery special dog puppy edible treat birthday celebration snack. Why are the titles so long? The Bee Bakery special dog puppy edible edible treat birthday celebration snack cakes bone decorated brown. That's a really really bad description isn't it of a cake.

If I put most popular most popular average customer review. Oh zippy paws zp 911 cupcake blue game dog toy. Really? Really? Okay, dog birthday cakes.

I'm gonna change the old dog cake birthday. So look customer view. This is terrible.

Yeah, dog cake birthday and it's coming up with Wednesday's dog treat pedigree snacks. Just like normal snacks. Oh, there's a little dog bandana.

Birthday boy. Oh, oh, and zippy paws birthday box gift for dogs squeaky toy. The toy.

Now what they got here a funny dog toys splash squeaky weed dog toy. It's basically a bong blimey. And I actually wanted a cake like a proper cake that he can eat.

That's, you know, safe to him to eat. And I know technically, I could just get a bit of cake and give it to him as long as didn't have chocolate in it. He's it'd be alright.

And he can have a bit of sponge and that sponge is fine as far as I know. I'd rather get him something that's made specifically for dogs. And I'm pretty good with him at the moment.

All the treats he has generally are dog treats like specifically for dogs. I don't give him any biscuits. I'll give him a little bit of food every now and then.

I'll give him his own food. I don't talk about my bits that I'm eating. And she likes tuna fish.

I noticed that when I gave him breakfast cereal, it is okay. It was a he got he got I say got the runs but it was it affected his toilet toilet thing. You know, the results of his stool or whatever you want to call it.

So I stopped doing that. So I'm guessing he's lactose intolerant. He loves milk, but I don't give it to him.

And oh, there's a dog birthday party supplies, cute dog birthday hat, birthday bandana, scarf, festive birthday cake, chew toy. No, no. I'm gonna get in this a bandana here says birthday girl.

Yeah, I'm gonna get him. I'll put that on him and walk around the estate. He'll be the laughingstock.

Thoughtfully pets get well dog cookies. No, he's okay. Maybe in the future, but not for a long, long time.

I hope. Doggy doobie funny dog toys. Okay, dog toys.

Brilliant. But as a maybe as a birthday present for him. But not as a birthday cake.

It's nearly every every birthday cake. And they look great. And they're not toys.

There's this chew toys. Hort diggity dog. Yip yip.

Hooray collection. Unique squeaky squeaky squeaky plush dog toys. Celebrate with pup cakes.

Pooch and mutt health and digestion natural dog treats. Wheat free. I really thought there would be some like lots, I thought there'd be lots and lots and lots of birthday cakes.

I really did. Birthday cake edible. Right, that's what I'm looking for.

Because now I won't get any. Oh, there is pre cut edible icing cake topper. 7.5 inch round pink puppy dog with happy birthday border.

So you just basically get the top of the cake, not the actual cake, which is no good to me. I mean, you might as well just send me a plate. You can put the cake on the plate.

That's no good, is it? It's not any good. Oh, I've heard of this scoff paper edible happy birthday dog card. The card your dog can eat.

Happy birthday to chew single A5. Now that makes me feel very warm inside. That appeals to me.

I like that. I want that a lot. Okay, barking bakery dog cupcake iced within.

So this is good. And it's a cupcake seven pound. But all of this dog macaroons, gift treats by Bon et Filou.

Luxury handmade dog birthday gifts, healthy and delicious dog snacks. Pet cat. Oh no.

There is another one here. Tosper pet cat dog birthday caps. Birthday.

Oh, what? There's got to be. Now I've got to find some more. There's got to be more.

Let's have a look. Okay, high to low. So Kate cat cake topper.

No cats dog in it. It's a dog. It's a dog.

So there's lots of stuff to dress a dog up. Well, not lots, but there's a few things to dress them up. Seems to be going with a bandana.

And there's some little treats and toys and things like that. And, oh, this is good. I like this.

Per food, per food and chew. 100% natural dog treat box. Healthy and long lasting raw doggy treats.

Now that are a bit expensive though. $17.99. That's something that he'd love. He loves, he loves his treats, but he loves variation.

We seem to enjoy variation. I mean, I don't know if he does. I've not actually sat down and talked to him about it.

If I'm honest, the Barking bakery, drug, drug, not drug, dog trio selection. The poor fact low calorie snacks for dogs. I don't have to really worry about low calories because he gets a lot of exercise.

He's definitely not deficient in exercise. Oh, there's another one. Natural dog chews.

Tasty, long lasting variety box of doggy chews. Cool climate chews, large. I don't know about large because he's only little.

He's only got a little mouth. Although a couple of nights ago or days ago, he found a tennis ball in the field, but a proper size tennis ball. Cause I gave him some small tennis balls that squeak and they're the right size of his mouth, but he still managed to get it in his mouth.

Even though it's the tennis balls in as big as his head. That was the whole story really. There wasn't anything else.

I felt I need to add a car chase or something. And then that, and then there was this big bang and paradise pets, luxury, luxury, luxury gift wrapped dog birthday celebration basket. Oh, Dudley is 100% natural doggy treat and chew box, delicious, healthy, raw dog treats, grain, gluten and lactose free.

So there are lots of things, burger bites. So maybe because it's on the 27th, which is next Sunday, it's the 20th today. It's Monday.

So 27 will be Sunday, but no, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. That'd be Monday. Yeah.

So next Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Yeah. Choose 21.

21. 20. I'm getting confused now.

21 choose Tuesday. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, 24th. Does that mean my doctor's appointment's on Saturday? Please say it's not.

Please, please tell me it's not. Saturday morning. How am I supposed to get there? The buses don't even start I don't think till about nine.

I have to walk. I have to walk for nearly two hours to get to the doctor's. Oh man.

Oh well. They do me good I suppose. Not emotionally, but maybe physically it'll be good for me to do that.

Yes. I'm so excited. Yeah.

I'm just looking at what I've got. Oh look. Looking at stuff that I've got saved for later on your items.

Your items. Yes. Saved for later 104, 154 items.

Blimey. Wow. Yeah.

Yeah. I just had to stop then for a second because he started barking because a fly farted across the road outside. It's amazing what triggers him.

And then other times he can't be bothered. If he's asleep or if he's just really chilled out. Doesn't care if someone opens a door downstairs.

But if he's, you know, I don't know what mood he's in or what it is, but he's so switched on. He's, you know, when I take him out he's always, he always wants to follow people. So if there's someone jogging, he wants to follow them.

If someone's going into their house, he wants to follow them into their house. He just wants, he doesn't, you know, he just wants, he's so, so easily distracted. I mean the other day he was just about to do a poo and he saw a leaf being blown by the wind and he started chasing the leaf.

He forgot all about the poo. Now I've been waiting for at least four minutes for him to have a poo. He wasn't crouching there for four minutes, but he was in the area that he likes to, release, as it were.

Do the business. Squirt one out, whatever, however you want to think, word it. And, you know, you normally have a little sniff around and then he, you know, he does a certain little dance.

There's a, and he moves his little back legs from side to side and he, he almost reminds me a little bit of sumo wrestlers when they're about to, when they're squaring up to each other, but they're kind of moving from side to side. You know, that's, he does that a little bit, that little sumo wrestler from the back. And then, you know, then he does what he does, but so easily distracted.

But it's kind of funny to watch. I mean, we were walking up the other night, we were walking, I don't know, just going for a walk, and there was a traffic cone and there's been a lot of roadworks done around here the last few weeks. So there's a lot of traffic cones around and it looks like someone must have took one and just played with it and left it in the field, in the park.

Well, he didn't know what it was because it was turned on its side, you know, in a way that if he was going to try and use it as a trumpet, that kind of thing. And he didn't know what it was. And he, he really walked very, very slowly as we approached where it was, and he started barking at it, really having a go at it.

And he's, I don't know what he, what he was seeing, what, what he was seeing through his own eyes. But this traffic cone, this orange thing, seemed to be some kind of a threat to him. I don't know, maybe he just doesn't like police.

I don't know, maybe he doesn't like road workers. Who knows? He might have had a bad experience with a traffic warden. I've got no idea.

But he doesn't like traffic cones for some reason. Maybe that's why he doesn't drive anymore. Who knows? Who knows what the reason could be? And he does that sometimes.

I know he got, he got spooked by a bag blowing in the wind. It was a really windy night. This was a few weeks back.

And it was one of those nights, it was a Tuesday evening. The reason I remember that is because there was a lot of bin bags out. Recycling bin bags, the clear ones that we have here.

And they were being blown everywhere. Because a lot of them are just filled with plastic or cardboard. So they're not heavy.

You know, like a refuge bag, the black refuge sacks, they can get, I try not to make mine heavy. Because I think about the people who have to lift them up and carry them. So I'd rather use two bags than one if it's heavy.

But with the plastic ones, they generally can't really get heavy. And the wind does tend to sort of play with them a bit. So I remember that.

So I was taking bags out of the road and putting them back into people's driveways as I was walking him, walking him around the estate. And we get into the park. And this, it's just a little plastic bag, not not a carrier bag, not even that size.

It was just the kind of thing that you would probably put. If you went to supermarket, and you're gonna put maybe buy some apples, and you maybe put the apples into the bag, and then weigh the apples. I don't know if people still do that.

I've never done that in my life. But I know they used to have scales and stuff in supermarkets. Do they still have them? I haven't been inside a supermarket for years.

So I don't know. I get deliveries. So you know, because we don't have any supermarkets near where I live.

But yeah, they used to have those scales. And there was the little white bags. And they used to have the little brown bags as well, didn't they? People would lick their fingers before trying to get them the edges apart.

Where did that come around? I've seen people read newspapers and lick their fingers to turn the pages of the newspaper. It's a strange little habit, isn't it? And that's something that we learn, isn't it? That's something that must have been taught by another person that liked to lick their fingers whilst reading a newspaper. It almost seems compulsory, like it's a compulsive thing.

I must lick my fingers now, I'm gonna turn the paper, I'm gonna turn into a must, I'm gonna turn the page of the newspaper. Maybe I'm the one that's unusual because I don't do that. You know what I mean? It's weird because it's been a lovely day.

Today has been beautiful, almost like a summer's day. But it's not been warm, but it's definitely been quite springy. I still need a coat on, I would say, or a jacket.

Maybe not a thick coat, but a jacket. Bright summer day, sunny, blue sky and all that stuff. But now, and I haven't even got the windows open, it's turned chilly inside.

It's really starting to feel a bit cold in here. Now, I suppose it makes sense because there's no clouds in the sky, there's no thermal, is there? Well, there's less thermal, so it's gonna be a bit colder, I suppose. Yeah, I didn't study at school, I don't know if I should add that, I didn't really learn much.

I must have learned something, though. I do like, I like to say, oh, I didn't learn anything at school. But I must have learned something, but I don't know what, other than I learned to read.

I learned to read, but I do believe a lot of my reading skills came from reading books. I loved reading books, so that was my, that was a thing I probably loved more than anything, really, when I was very little. When I say very little, I mean all the way up from being a little kid, sort of, I don't know, five till, we never really stopped, but you know, like I'm talking about when I was a child, from the ages probably four or five, all the way up to leaving school, I was an avid reader.

You know, the library was one of my favourite places. I mean, the reading, the type of reading I did, it varied as I got older. I'm not talking about nudie mags.

I mean, who reads them? There's no reading involved. But I, I used to like buy magazines, like martial art magazines, boxing magazines, bodybuilding magazines, things like that. So I used to, I mean, a lot again, a lot of pictures, but I used to read that stuff.

But when I was a kid, and if there was ever something that I got interested in, I would read every book I could on that subject. So I was interested in astronomy for a while, and I read books upon books upon books. And I had loads of books bought for me Christmas birthdays over a few years on astronomy.

And I didn't really understand the subject. But there was something nice about reading, reading stuff that was way out of my comprehension, was way too complicated, really, for me. And I still read it anyway.

I still sit for hours reading these books that I don't, I mean, I can't say for sure because it's a long time ago. But I don't remember really understanding what I was reading. I couldn't have just sat there for hours reading something that I didn't understand, because I might as well have been reading something in a different language.

I don't know. But I do anyway. But I went through different periods, different, you know, of my life.

When I was little, I remember junior school, we had a big, it was a bookcase full of books. Well, that was an interesting fact. It was and it was basically what I did, I'd take a book home every night.

And I'd read it and bring it back. And that was when we were learning to write. Not learning, but it was I was, I don't know, nine.

It wasn't so much learning to write, but learning to write correctly and joined up is that cursive they call that. And, you know, getting better at that stuff. So I used to enjoy that's the only lesson I ever enjoyed ever was English when I was at little school.

Because it really was what I enjoyed. I liked writing. Well, I loved reading and I enjoyed writing.

It was fun. And it was something that I it wasn't that I excelled. But I was up to speed with everybody else.

I wasn't behind. And every other lesson I was behind pretty much. So to be the same as everyone else felt nice, or to feel like I was at the same level as everyone else.

And when I went to high school, I was in the middle of English, I was in the middle section, after taking the test and stuff, the 11 plus test. I wasn't in the highest group, I wasn't in the lowest group either. But with a lot of the other stuff, I was in the lowest group.

So English was my only only subject that I was any good at, or that I was so average, average, average at was history and science and geography. I was kind of in the middle group anyway, because we hadn't studied any of that at junior school. Not not properly.

So there was no way of them knowing if I was able to to do anything with that stuff. And they found out soon enough. And oh dear.

So so I used to take a book home every day, every night. Well, for a while, and I read every book. I just loved reading, loved reading.

And I love the teachers would be a little proud of me, but I felt a certain degree of accomplishment, I guess, really, having done it, you know, reading a book overnight. These weren't big books, they were just probably 30 pages or something. 20 pages.

They weren't big, thick biographies of mathematicians and stuff. But they, you know, they were good. It's like Bob and Sally go to the zoo, you know, that kind of stuff, I guess.

Okay, three pages long, but still, I read it. And things really opened up for me when I became a member of the the library. You know, when I could go to the library on my own, that's when things really picked up.

Because I would spend hours and hours and hours in the library. Hours. It was my favorite place to go to.

I knew the place intimately. And it was just up the road from where I lived. So it's literally just around the corner.

Just turn left out of my house. And then, wait a minute. I was nowhere near my house.

Oh, yes, it was. It wasn't as close as I remember, though. Oh, now I know.

Yeah. No. Oh, yeah.

Okay. So turn left out of my house. Walk up to the second road.

Just walk up there past Tesco's on the right, Boots on the left, straight over in this round the corner. And that's where the library was. I don't know if it's still there.

I have no idea. But I love the library. I really did.

And one thing I used to love more than most things in the world was getting a book that was new, that had literally just been brought into the library. And no one else had had it out. No one else had touched it.

I was the first person to get it stamped. Because you know, you get it out and stamp it and say it has to be back within two weeks or something like that. Oh, the smell of the fresh pages.

Really loved it. So I read, and I was, you know, to start with, I was reading all the children's books. And eventually, I progressed.

Like I'm lying, I never progressed. I'm still reading children's books. Look at yesterday, I was watching Maze Runner, the movie.

I mean, that's not aimed at adults, is it? It's like a teenage movie. But I don't care. I thought it was good.

So trying to think whatever. I was always looking at other books. But I did have a thing, I like to buy books, I like to have my own books.

I went through a phase where I was reading science fiction, really thick science fiction books. And they blew my mind. Because it was so adult.

Like really is more explicit than anything you see in a movie. You know, it was so bad at time. And I loved it.

Really, really liked what I was reading. But I also read, I like to read comedy books. So Wilt, I like to read the confession books.

Confession of a taxi driver. Confession of a plumber's mate, was it? Confession of a driving instructor. Was it confession of a pop performer? So I remember reading them.

I don't know. I only had one shelf to put my books. So I think what I did is I ended up giving my books away.

I might have donated them to the library, I can't remember. But I might have just given them away and to make room for more books. And it'd be amazing if I had, if I had every book I've ever bought or purchased, bought or purchased.

If I had every book that I've ever owned, whether bought it or had it as a gift, whatever. I have more books than I have now. It'd be loads and loads and loads, loads, thousands upon thousands of books.

Thousands, literally thousands. I mean, I had thousands of books before I started doing my counselling course. And I gave away, I donated all the philosophy books to charity.

Then I gave away, well I donated all the Buddhist books to the Buddhist Centre. And then I gave away a bunch of other books to charity again, charity shops. Because there was nowhere for me to put the books, they were in the way.

And then when I had them in these plastic containers for years, I couldn't even take them out because there wasn't enough room. I mean really, I've had different times where I've had collections of books when I was a kid. And then I lost all those books.

I don't know, I don't really know what happened to them. And then I didn't collect any more books at all from the age of 16, 17. I did, yeah, 16, 17.

I don't think I even read a book during that time. So yeah, maybe a couple. I've just been through periods when I had loads of books on Buddhism, got rid of them.

Then I had loads of books on Buddhism again, got rid of them. I had loads of books on deep generation, you know like, always making a lot of noise, crackling away on his bone. A lot of books on poetry, or poetry books and stuff like that.

Psychology, self-help. Yeah, I have quite a, I mean I've got quite a few books on hypnosis and stuff, but my library would be absolutely massive. I could have shelves on every wall and they'd be full.

I guess I'll just have to make do with Blu-Tack for now. My walls look stained. They've got the backs of the foam from the, the adhesive from the soundproof foam is on part of my walls.

It looks awful. I need to sort it out. I just can't be bothered.

I might do it one day. Or I might get some more foam and just cover it. Yeah, that'll be better.

Oh, that's a relief. So I hope that this has been boring enough for you, because I think it has been particularly boring. Like really, really, really boring.

And that's my aim in life, is to be as boring as I can for as long as possible. Because boringness is, it's the most important thing in the world, being boring. Boring, boring, can I say the word anymore? Boring, boring, boring.

And right now I need to eat because I'm hungry and I think I might try and have something warm tonight. I can, I don't know, vegetarian pie. Maybe, I don't know.

We'll see. So thank you very much for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself.

You deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself. Lots of love.

Bye.