Read along
Complete transcript
Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland and please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. My website is jasonnewland.com. Hello, it's Wednesday the 25th of January 2020 something.
Is it 2029? Probably. So before I start I'm going to read a message out that I got and I was going to read it out yesterday but it was the end of the recording. If you send me a message and you don't want me to read it out then please tell me you don't want me to read it out.
But this one, generally if the message has some kind of, if it's personal, there's personal information then I, you know, I try not to read that stuff out. But this is from Ashley on Facebook and she's mother of, she's married and she lives at 42 Cacacia Avenue, Middlesbrough, MS2459, telephone number 01624932186752198. Email address, Ashley dingdongwoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Sounded like I can't read, listening to a friendly voice.
I listen to Let Me Boyz Asleep every night to fall asleep, and then throughout the night 10 hours. So I found that you keep me from having nightmares too, cool side effect, cool. Anyway, to get Vinnie to stop chewing on your pants, you should get a training collar that has a remote control.
And so, he'll do anything I say, but yeah, eventually you'll be the king, I'll look for the amazon link to the one I bought and share it with you when I find it. Hang in there, being a fur baby daddy mama is hard for a while but will pay off soon, thanks again, Ash. P.S. you can read this out loud if you want, it'll make me feel famous.
What did I read the other day, oh that's right, I had another message, yeah from Mary, this is today, or early hours, dear Jason, you're really making me laugh with your Let Me Boyz Asleep as usual, however, don't even joke about ending my favourite podcast when you reach the 1000th episode, nope, ain't happening, no sirree. So as we say in the west of Scotland, consider yourself telt. Now about the laundry situation, euphemistically speaking, have you ever considered buying a laundry basket? This may be cheaper than having to replace your underwear every time Vinnie decides to chew it, just a thought, cheers Mary.
Well yeah, it's not a bad idea really is it?
I dunno, I do feel sorry for my washing machine though, I sometimes think that maybe I should stop putting underwear in there, give it a break, just, you know, hmm, but yeah I actually did my washing today and every pair of underpants, underwear, underpants, y-fronts, whatever you want to call them, every pair of underwear, all ripped, all the ones that were on the laundry pile, every single pair, I dunno, 5 or 6 pairs, so yeah, I bought a bunch of new pairs last week I think, so yeah, I need to just, just change things, make
a few changes, the thing is, he's actually been really good, he's improving his behaviour so much, I can't, well I can moan about him and I will but I enjoy moaning, especially about him, the thing is, he's, he's getting better behaved, he's becoming more affectionate with me, he's lying at my feet now on the carpet while I'm doing this and he's just, I guess, going to sleep, he's just, he just wants to be near me, he wants to be, as long as he's touching me, so he's, the, his back is touching my ankle or my
foot, that's all he needs, he just needs to be touching me and he's happy, he, yeah he does it whenever I'm at the desk because I've got 3 tables, this desk is where I make the recordings, the other desk is where I do editing and things like that and the other table is, well it's nothing at the moment but I'd eat my dinner there if I, if I cooked and he'll always be under the table, sitting on my foot or laying down or just, just sitting right next to me, it's, I don't know, it's quite,
quite nice actually and at night he stays in the living room, I close the door, I close the bedroom door and I go to bed, well actually I go in, I close the door on the inside first and then I go to bed, otherwise I'd be stuck in the hallway and here's what, guess what happened yesterday, last night, I finished the recordings and making a recording, you know, it's an hour to make this recording and then I do 2 recordings a day, I'm not sure what I'm doing today, I think it's a deep sleep whisper
one as well, yeah, so I'll do, I've been doing alternate days, the deep sleep whisper and the relax and sleep hypnosis daily, so I'm alternating those 2 recordings and so today I'll be making a deep sleep whisper as well as this one, so that's about an hour and a half if I do an hour for this recording, they vary 20 minutes, I generally do about 10, 20 minutes plus with those other recordings and I just, once I've done that with the editing, with the uploading, with the processing, making images, designing and then scheduling them to
start being released at midnight, it takes probably another 3 hours, so, or maybe 2 and a half hours, so it's pretty much 4 plus hours it takes to record 2 recordings and to edit them and process them and upload them and all the stuff that goes involved, so it can be up to 5 hours, so it's quite a lot of, quite a lot of time, I mean not all of it takes my energy or my focus, for example when they're being uploaded, I can watch TV or whatever and just, I upload 3 different podcasts at
a time and then just, you know, so it takes a while but there's not really much for me to do and the editing, I have to focus on that, but generally, I've got itchy scrotum, generally, generally it's, perhaps I shouldn't have told everyone that, generally I, there's not a huge amount of editing required, you know, if I start coughing or he starts playing up, I have to put him into the bedroom, which happens a lot of the time, for some reason I didn't put him in the bedroom today because he's just been so quiet and
he's already had a walk a little while ago, so he doesn't need to go out, he doesn't need a wee or anything like that and he seems to be quite content just to be in here with me and it's, what time is it?
It's just gone half past six in the evening, so I've had my evening meal, just a sandwich, cheese and tomato sandwich and a cup of tea and a yogurt, strawberry yogurt hurt, it was nice and I do this recording and I might not necessarily do the next recording straight afterwards, but I'll do it, you know, within the next sort of hour or so, it'll all be done by eight, but because I started quite early, I mean I could have started earlier, but you know this is fairly early, so, but even then, realistically, it's gonna be
quarter past eight, half past eight when I finish both recordings, which then leaves me with half eight, half nine, half ten, yeah, like two or three hours to get everything done, which is kind of how much time it takes, so it's, yeah, although saying that, I could multitask if I wanted to, I could start uploading, why is my phone making bleeping noises, stop it, Gmail notification, be aware, Google Play text changes, Google Play, what, I suppose that's for things you buy, isn't it, apps and that, I don't remember ever buying an app on Google Play,
I use the Apple app thing, so I mean ideally, I would actually make recordings during the day, but it's just a lot quieter this, this type of night, especially in the winter, because, you know, we're in the middle of winter at the moment, well, middle, I don't know, 25th of January, spring starts, when does spring start, March, spring begins, UK, 20th of March, that's when spring officially starts, so it's still two months left, just, just under two months, now, if you've, if you've not been to the England, I'm going to say England rather than UK,
just England, because I don't, I've never, I have, I think, I was told by my older brother that we lived in Scotland for a while, before we moved to Newcastle, and I was born in London, and then we ended up in Southend, that's moved around quite a bit, and, but I don't remember Scotland, I don't, so I've, in my memory, I've never been to Scotland, no, I've not been to Scotland, I want to go, but I've not been to Scotland, but apparently I have, but I don't remember it, I have been to Wales a few
times, that used to be the go-to place for holidays for my family, we used to go camping in, I don't know if it's the south of Wales or wherever, but I remember it was beautiful, a beautiful place, absolutely, just wow, really, really lovely place, and I've also been to Wales because I had a friend that lived there, so I went there a few times in my late 20s, early 30s, whatever, yeah, about, you know, 29, 30 age, kind of, so I've been to Wales a few times, I don't know my way around, you know, but
I've been there, so I can't really, I kind of know what it's like in the summer in Wales, I know what it's like in the winter, that's the only two times, that's the only two different seasons that I've been there in, I don't know what it's like in spring, I know from hearsay or from watching the weather forecast, what it can be like in parts of Scotland, it can be really, really cold in the winter, and I'm pretty sure it can be really nice in the summer as well, but yeah, I've never been, although I
tell you where I would like to go in Scotland, I'd like to go to Edinburgh, Edinburgh, I'd like to go to Edinburgh Festival, I never got to go there when I was younger, when I was involved in comedy, and it was the standard, well, standard thing, it was the exciting thing to do for comedians, is to do a show at the Edinburgh Festival.
Now, those that were doing really well for themselves and had an agency and management and, you know, it would all be paid for them, and they'd be put into a good room, and the more, the more popular they were, the bigger name they were, the bigger room they'd have, they might be in a theatre or something, someone like Eddie Izzard or Lee Evans, Jack Dee, people like that in this country, I guess in America, people like Bill Hicks, because I'm going back to the 90s now, Bill Hicks, Dennis Leary, I'm trying to think of some other, like Emo Phillips, people like that would be, they'd have theatres, I guess, they'd have theatre slots.
And I don't know if that's 100% true, but I'm imagining it is.
But I do know that there's also little rooms that comedians or any performers could rent. And it wasn't cheap. It's even less cheap now.
Obviously, it's gonna be way, way, way expensive. But they could rent a room for a period of time each day. So maybe two hours, between two and four in the afternoon or something, and they put their show on, maybe it's a stand up show, maybe acting something.
And then there's like a one man show or one woman show. And then they'd hand flyers out to the passing public to try and get some trade. And loads and loads of comedians did this.
When I was during the 90s, when I was involved, loads, loads that I knew. And there was my friend Nick Rorty, and another friend, Harvey O'Leary. He was an Irish comedian, I don't know what he's doing now.
But they did a and this was early 90s. They did a show together. But it was just basically doing their own stand up.
So Nick Rorty would do his stand up, and then Harvey O'Leary would do his stand up, or the other way around, whatever. So they did that. And that would be the show.
So they basically, I guess, split the cost of running a thing. And, you know, no one made any money, I don't think, out of these shows, because it was so expensive to, to stay there. And I think a lot of comedians shared rooms.
And, you know, but it was the experience. It was the, you know, if you, if a comedian got a good rating for their show, it could catapult them to stardom. Because I had a friend, what's his name now, Terry Alderton.
And he, I think he was a runner up, he was shortlisted for the Perrier. And he went on to host the, what is it, the lottery show, you know, the live lottery, where they read out the lottery tickets, huge audience, you know, millions and millions of people watching that every week. And he, yeah, he won that, I think it was early 2000s.
And he was hosting that, and he was on telly, and, you know, really boosted his career. He was on Eastenders as well, for a while. So, you know, and he was shortlisted, he didn't, didn't win the Perrier, but he, you know, that really boosted his career.
And he was a great comedian. I knew Terry for years, right from the start, right from 91. So he was another one that came from already being successful.
He was on Sky's Search for a Star, or something like that. And let me just check this. I'm gonna check if he's on there.
Sky Search for a Star 1989. Star 1989 cast and crew. Okay, have a look.
Let's have a look. I'm gonna have a look. Right, cast and crew, judge, judge.
So who won? Okay, okay, okay, okay. Blimey. So why, he should be on here somewhere.
Terry, Terry, Terry. Why is he not listed? He's definitely on it, because he won it. Terry, Terry, Terry, Terry, Terry.
Isn't that weird? Maybe I'm just making it up. No, but I wouldn't. Why is it not telling me who won? That's all I want to know.
I want to know who won. Winner. Search for a Star 1989.
It might be 1990, to be fair. So if I go to 1990, Search for a Star 1990. So maybe it was a year before, because I met him in 1991.
Winner. I'm gonna put in winner, winner. Search for a Star Finals.
Star Search 1990. Okay, here we go. Is it an American television show? No, that's not what I want.
I don't want that. No, let me stop here. Who won Star Search in 1990? Nope, that's not what I want.
It's not the American show. It's the Sky Star Search. Charts of the Night Sky.
No, not about sky stars. Humans. Oh, dear.
Where did Hubble... Star Search 1990. Sky Star... Sky Search for a Star UK. Right.
Winners. UK talent shows through the ages. East of the M60.
What's going on there? I don't get this. Carol Danloo faces pop stars. The reason I remember is because I actually applied to be on that show.
And I didn't even have an act. Didn't even have an act. Stars in Their Eyes.
Search for a Star. ITV. New Faces.
Opportunity Knox. Stars in Their Eyes. The big, big talent show.
Pop stars. So for some reason, they're ignoring Sky Star Search. Maybe it was Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search. Sky Star Search.
Sky Star
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.