#955 Favourite teachers Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (17th January 2023)

Hello and welcome to let me bore you to sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. My website is jasonnewland.com. Vinnie, Vinnie Minnelli is currently behind me eating a bone thing, rawhide bone thing.

I don't know what it is but he loves them. I really think he loves them. So what's the latest, the latest message from YouTube is from your favourite Uncle Hubert, who is a Sebastian.

Always with the lies, I preferably call you dishevelled. Okay, so I'm referring to something, I mentioned him. I wonder if he still, still spends his Sundays wearing a wedding dress.

He used to, it's just something he used to do. I don't know why. So he said that everyone deserves to have a, have a lovely wedding.

And he, and I said to him, how come you like to wear your wedding dress on, on a Sunday? He said, well I wear it all week, you know, all year round really, every day. But unfortunately, you know, I have things to do. I don't want to get it dirty.

And I said, why would you want to wear the wedding dress all year round? And he said, well, it's the same. It's like some people wish that every day was like Christmas. I just wish every day was like my wedding day.

So good luck to him, you know, hang on, it's fine. It's cool. Yeah.

So I, I'm okay. Today is Tuesday, the 17th of January, 2023. Blimey, the years just keep pumping by.

Pumping by, that sounds wrong, doesn't it? You know what I mean? Flying by, that's it. So I'm just thinking, it's literally just over a month left until we get to the anniversary of this podcast. So the very first episode I ever did was the 27th of March, 2018.

Oh no, just over two months, sorry, not month, two months. So it's now 17. So it's February, March, two months and 10 days.

And then that was 2018, 19, 20, 21, 22, five years. Five, five, five years. Can you believe that? Five years.

I mean, that's just ridiculous. Isn't that ridiculous? Five years. And this was just an experiment.

I mean, you could say, well, what about the deep sleep whisper hypnosis? The first one was on the 1st of January, 2015. Yeah. So what's your point? And then the fourth one was the 3rd of July, 2018.

Wow. So yeah, that's pretty much nearly as old. I mean, it's older because I had the first three episodes done, you know, back in 2015.

But, but the yeah, I started doing more regular ones in July, 2018. What if I? Yeah. Sublimely.

So that one, forgetting the first three that goes back to 2015, but it's still, you know, another six months or whatever. And it'll be that'll be five years old, as far as, you know, doing them regularly. Although how many episodes have I got of that one? 480 episodes of the deep sleep whisper.

But with this one, the Let Me Bore You To Sleep, I've got so far 954 episodes. This would be number 955. Wow.

Wow, bow, bow. I mean, technically, it's not that many over five years, really, is it? Not that many, but all in all, you know, I mean, blimey. 55, 65, 75, 85, 95.

Wait a minute. So 55. So that's 45 to make it 1000.

So probably by the end of March. Yeah, I might not if I don't do recording every day, but by the fifth year anniversary, I'll have reached 1000. So I'm thinking maybe we should do something to celebrate or to commemorate which whichever way you want to look at it.

Maybe I should make the 1000th one the last one ever. I think it's something different to do. I don't know.

But it just imagine there's like four people out there go No. And there's about 3000 people going Yeah, last the end. No more.

No more boring stuff. No more pointless stories. No more stats.

No more. No more. No more.

Just stop. So yeah. We'll see.

We'll see. I did think it'd be quite nice to do something cool on the 1000th episode. But it always seemed quite cool to do something on the fifth anniversary as well.

If they if they happen to I mean, the chance of them being on the same day is fairly slim, I guess. Could be a joint celebration. But really, the 1000th episodes needs to be on the 1000th episode, you know? Yeah, obviously.

No, I mean, if there was, I don't know, I think it's something I think is something. I'm not sure if I will think of anything. I can't think of anything off the top of my head.

What could it be? What could we do? I mean, what is it 2020 blindness is 2003 2023 2425 26. So in three years time, this whole thing that I'm doing will be 20 years old. I've been doing it for 20 years.

Because basically, I started all this in January 2006. That's when I started making my first videos and first audios and you know, post them on my space and podcasts and stuff like that. So yeah, you kind of all kind of started from that.

I'd say it was weird is I kind of broke up with a girlfriend she broke up with me. And the energy from that I directed towards this. Now, to start with, it wasn't really about doing podcasts or about making videos.

The videos is kind of one of the first things but the first real thing was to re boost my free pain relief service in my local area. Because I'd already started I tried to promote it in 2004. And it just went nowhere.

It literally just didn't go anywhere. I had a website called help with pain.co.uk. You know, I had people visit and everything but nothing happened. And so I've got a new website.

And also had the jasonnewland.com website. I don't know how long I've had that for. I think I've had it well over 20 years now.

No, maybe not maybe 18 19 years. I think I had in 2004 I think. So I might have had it before that even possibly.

So the Wow, I paid 1000s of pounds just to keep that web domain blimey over the years Yeah. So I decided to re energize the pain relief service, the free pain relief service. So I got a website called free pain relief.co.uk. So I bought that domain.

I say bought you basically rent it and then when you stop paying for it, it goes back on the market and someone else has it. And but so I had that. And I built the website from scratch like I did with the help with pain.co.uk. So and the help with pain.co.uk that's gone.

You know, I haven't had that for a long time. I don't know what it is. Now.

Let's have a look. Let's have a look. Help with pain with pain.co.uk Safari cannot open the page because the server cannot be found.

Maybe I put www. We shouldn't really need to put that in anymore. No, it can't be found.

Help with pain.co.uk. So what did I do? The next one was pain relief.co.uk. Now I had the free pain relief.co.uk. When I saw that can't be I can't open either. What is going on? I wonder if Google. Oh, that can open.

So it is just the websites are not available. So I had that I bought that domain. And I started I basically built it because I used to be able to do the HTML code like build websites, basic basic websites, nothing flash.

Although I did use flash sometimes. And, oh, and it was okay. It was just a very basic, you know, call me I got a different telephone number, a phone separate for this free service.

And I had, I think 50,000 leaflets printed. Yep. Oh, yes.

50,000 leaflets printed. So yeah, probably wasn't a very good idea. But that's what I did.

I got 50,000 leaflets printed. I remember when they got delivered, that was like boxes and boxes and boxes of them. So many, and they weren't they actually weren't leaflets, they were postcards.

And on one side, the colored side, there was the free pain relief service. And on the other side, it was a stop smoking thing that I was going to do, I was going to do a charity event to stop smoking. And nothing came of that in the end.

So I went around, I traveled, basically just around the town. And I walked around, I delivered 1000s upon 1000s of these leaflets. I put them in shop windows, I put them in post office windows.

I might even have put adverts in the paper, I can't remember. And I started to get people actually contacting me. Which was very strange, because there was a part of me that hoped that no one would.

However strange that might, it's a weird thing to say probably, but I wasn't sure that I knew what I was doing. I wasn't sure that I'd have the ability. You know, I had a lot of knowledge, I had lots of books I had trained.

There was, you know, was a couple of years since the last training, but I didn't really have much hands on experience. Obviously, it's not hands on because you don't touch people, but didn't have much experience. And I don't remember the very first person that I got.

Or do I? No, I do. I do. I do.

I do. I do. I do.

I didn't get, I've probably told this story before, but I'll tell it again anyway. Because this is how it all started. This is how everything began.

So I remember that I'll go back a bit and actually tell you in detail. So do you want to hear this? Okay. So I met this lady in 95, 1995, probably about October time, maybe September, maybe November.

It was, it was like late in the year, it was autumn time. And yeah, I don't remember the date, but it was probably maybe October. It's not really that important as I guess.

Well, anyway, I was at the Buddhist center in the town I was living at the time. And it was a Saturday open evening or Saturday, Saturday open up morning or afternoon. So I just went along just to help out.

And at the time I was living in a Buddhist community. So I was still involved, I mean, with Buddhism and with the people, you know, so I was still around that environment, which I think was in some ways really good for me. And so I went along to this, this morning, or it might not have been an open morning, it might have just been like a get together or a meditation morning, it was something I forget.

And it was open to anyone, you know, anyone that wanted to go. And so I went along and this lady went along, there's a few people there. And we just clicked, we just got on really well.

And she was looking at some of the Buddhist books on the, on the bookcase in the Buddhist center. And I just sort of said, do you want to come to my house? And tonight and there was a there was a party going on. That's why I invited to the party.

And it was I don't know what it was for. I really don't know. I think just every now and then, we'd have a big bonfire and burn things.

So we had a party. But I mean, it might have been November the 5th bonfire night. That would kind of make sense.

But I don't remember. I genuinely don't remember. Well, she said, yes.

So I thought, okay. Now I made a mistake to start with, because I'd already invited someone else, another female. I didn't think that she liked me.

This this other lady, I invited her because she was part of the Buddhist group, you know, she was and she was a friend. I used to go and go out there and have meals and stuff like that. And basically, she came along and I didn't, she got upset because I didn't talk to her pretty much the whole night, because I was giving attention to the lady that I invited, the second one.

And I didn't realize what I was doing. If you know what I mean, I wasn't purposely being ignorant. I just, it was just hard.

I guess it was all new and it was all kind of exciting. And, you know, I took her up to our bedroom and showed her my book collection, as you do. And then she went home, got a taxi home and she said, she said, Oh, I've got a kid and I don't really want a relationship.

I said fine, that's okay. See ya. And then she sent me a text saying, okay, maybe we can, whatever.

And we did. So we had a, we had a relationship. It messed up my friendship with the other lady, because I didn't realize she liked me.

If I'd have known she liked, well, the way she was acting, it appears that she, she did like me and I kind of got messages mixed up or whatever, which is a shame because I did really like her. She was a really, really nice person. I really, really did like her a lot.

But I just assumed that she liked me as a friend. And I found that quite often at the Buddhist Center that over the years that it's, it's very hard to gauge whether or not what, what the intention is. If it's just friendship or, you know, it's, it's different from meeting someone in a nightclub or, or even at work, you know, when you meet someone at work and, and you get to know each other and then you kind of realize you like each other and you, you know, flirting maybe, I'm not sure if that's allowed anymore.

Oh, did you see? Oh, this is, I know it's a little bit of a tandem. But this is school, two schools in an area near where I live. And I think they're like little schools, like junior schools or whatever.

They have banned, it might be high schools, they have banned all physical contact between the pupils. All physical contact, no hugging, no touching hands, nothing. I thought, wow.

And just as I said that, I just remembered the stuff that I've seen kids do that didn't happen when I was a kid. See, when I was at school, well, I should maybe say what I've seen, that might make more sense to do it that way. I've seen a lot of young, young boys hugging each other.

Or another boys hugging girls, girls hugging boys. Like platonically, it's not like it's a romantic, it's like, you know, hugging each other. Never saw that when I was at school.

I'd see boys and girls who maybe were in a relationship hugging each other. And maybe during football matches, if someone scored a goal, they might hug the person. But there wasn't a huge amount of physical contact, the nice kind, really, when I was at school.

And it seems that the younger people, I'm going back 10 years, that's the last time, because I used to live near a school. And I used to see it quite often because I'd be going to the supermarket, and they'd be in there. And you see them like hugging each other.

It's like, okay, that's cool. That's progression, isn't it really? To me, it's like, wow, good. And they're not allowed to do that now.

Well, the ones in those particular schools. And I'm not really sure what the purpose behind it is. And I guess all I've got to do is look online.

But I saw the news article or the news thing was on the television. And I thought, wow, banning all physical contact just seems a bit, I mean, I can understand banning aggressive, you know, aggression, but actually specified not just aggression, or physical contact. No shaking hands, no anything like that.

Wow. I don't think I'd like to be in a school like that. I don't think I'd like to be in any school.

I mean, not at my age, but I didn't like, I didn't like school when I was there. Although being my age would be much more fun because I'd like to see the teachers tell me what to do. That would be hilarious.

Mind you, I didn't really put my, I didn't take much notice when I was at school myself when I was a kid. But yeah, I kind of imagine, can you imagine how good it would be to go back in time and just have a little chat with the teachers, the ones that weren't very nice. And also the ones that were nice just to say thank you.

Just say thank you, you know, I'd like to, I'd like to go back and I only had three nice teachers. The ones that I, that I enjoyed being around, that I really felt a sense of kindness from them. That's, this is in high school.

In junior school, I think most of them were quite nice. But in high school, I had three nice teachers. Two of them were the RE teachers.

That's religious education. The first one was a man and he, he actually, I think it was in first year and he gave me or he lent me or gave me, I remember, a tape of the original Joseph and the Technicolor Raincoat album, you know, the show. So I think he recorded it for me and he gave it to me.

I was like, that was so cool because he played some of it in the, in class because he was going through the story of, you know, Joseph and stuff. And I said, I love this. I fell in love with it.

I said, I absolutely love this. But I'm only 11 years old and I've got no money. And he, yeah, he did that.

And he was very friendly, very friendly man. And then I think possibly in the second year or I might have had him in the first two years. I think I only did RE in the first two years and then a third year I didn't.

In my memory, but I'm not sure. No, no, that's not right at all. So I might have had him for two years.

This third year I had this, like an Indian lady and she was so cool. She was a bit of a hippie to be honest. I think she was quite into the old crystals and things like that.

And she explained the different religions in a very up to date way, very cool way. And I really liked her, really liked her. And we used to talk about things, supernatural stuff.

She didn't just stick to religion. She also talked about the occult and things like that. It wasn't to teach us about it, just to tell us that that's also out there, you know, it wasn't to teach us to be, you know, to do that stuff.

And I just, she's really nice. I liked her. And the only other teacher I liked was the maths teacher that I had, Mr. Johnson.

And I had him in the first year. Because when I went to high school, I was in the middle. So it was basically every year had a word.

Okay, so there's, when I went to school, there was five years, and then you got six form. So first year, second year, third year, fourth year, fifth year. Now they call it year seven, year nine, year ten, whatever.

I don't know how it works. I know in America, it's, it's different as well. But back then, it was just first year.

So it start all over again, go from junior school to high school, first year, second, third, fourth, fifth. So I was 11 when I went there in the first year. And then most people were 16 when they left in the fifth year, or they stayed on to sixth form, and did the A levels, the A levels.

So when I went there, we had this the name of the of the year was Osprey, O S P R E Y. I was R. So literally, I was right in the middle, the lower middle but still. Well, in my mind, P and R were the same, but I guess they weren't really. So I was the lower middle part, if you know what I mean, of the alphabet of the name.

O was the top. O was the brainy kids, the ones that did the 11 plus in junior school and came up top. And they were in the top classes and probably were expected to go on to do A levels in the sixth form and go on to university, things like that.

But not everybody was in the same class for everything. So someone like for my, for example, I was in R for, what was it, for some of my lessons, I was in R for maths to start with. And Mr. Johnson, one of the best teachers I've ever, ever had.

It was so lovely. Long black hair, big old beard, and he was softly spoken. And he was, I think I might have been able to learn some maths from him, given time.

But I found it, you know, I was getting distracted. A lot of people, you know, you always get people to distract in classes. A lot of people, they're very destructive and distractive by getting on with their work and asking proper questions.

It used to annoy me. So, but he was so lovely. And then he got ill and he left.

And after that, in that class, we had all these substitute teachers. And I didn't like what happened next because it became, it turned into a game to see how long the substitute teacher could stay in the classroom without running out. And it wasn't me.

I mean, it wasn't just me. I don't think I really interacted that much with that because I didn't like it. But they just gave him such a hard time.

And no one ever gave Mr. Johnson a hard time because he was so lovely. He wasn't strict, didn't have to be. And I've kind of tried to embrace that when I remember it, the whole idea of being gentle, instead of being stern, you know, the carrot instead of the stick, the honey instead of the vinegar, that kind of thing, you know, it's like, don't have to shout.

Just be gentle, be kind. And he was lovely, lovely man. And he's the kind of man that I'd like to be like.

Just, I don't know, maybe to have someone one day say, I remember this, this man, Mr. Newland. He was gentle and kind. And maybe, you don't know, maybe in 30 years time, I mean, you think it's more than that for me, isn't it? So I was 10 or 11.

I'm now 92. So 41 years ago. Crazy.

I can't believe that. 41 years. 41 years ago.

I mean, he's, you know, at the very least he's in his 80s. Unless he, I mean, to be fair, when you're that age, everyone looks old, don't they? He might have only been in his early 20s. But to me, he looked about 70.

But he probably wasn't. He might have been in his, I'd have guessed he was in his 40s. But in reality, he might be in his early 30s or his late 20s.

It's not really relevant. I don't even know why I'm mentioning it. But I'm just thinking how cool it would be in 30 years time.

Or 40 years time and someone says, Oh, yeah, I remember listening to a podcast, Jason Newland. And he was all right, he was. Yeah, it's like nice like that.

He was really boring. Imagine I'm going to be remembered as being really boring. A lot of people don't wouldn't want that, would they? Wouldn't want that for themselves.

To have that as their epitaph. I was really boring. I mean, for some people, that'd be like the worst thing you could call them to call someone boring.

For me, it's almost like the biggest compliment in the world. Gas lovely. Oh, excuse me.

He's the little one over there he's got his bone. Or whatever it is. I don't know.

It's like a bit shaped like a bone. But he's happy. He's not bothering me, not hassling me.

Normally he's like all that stuff and I end up having to put him into the bedroom for the duration of the podcast. No, he's been absolutely fine. He's happy.

He's starting to get I don't know how to explain it. He's starting to take chances of being affectionate with me. Because he's definitely he's got some issues.

He's very stubborn. He like wants to get his own way, but who doesn't? But I go to pick him up and he runs away. But now, earlier on, I was just I was listening to a motivational YouTube video.

So I just had my eyes closed. And he started climbing all over me. He climbed on the headrest of the chair or is you know, the behind my head started licking my ears and licking my head.

And then he leant forward and he laid down on my chest. And he laid there for about 10 minutes. And then he laid forward a little bit more onto my belly, my ripped muscular torso.

And he was just being affectionate, but he seemed to be happy that I had my eyes closed like I was asleep. It's very strange. I sometimes feel like he's testing me.

He's like trying to push me away to see whether or not I'll just get rid of him and move him on to his next home, which is, you know, this is the fourth home he's lived. But not only that, he's moved a few times as well. So he went back to the breeder who's his foster mum.

That is her son or daughter. So he went back there, I think, and back and forward a couple of times. So he really didn't know where he was when he came here.

I think he's starting to get used to it. It's been five and a half weeks nearly. But he plays up.

He really plays up. Like when we go for a walk, he bites the lead. He used to do that.

I found out the other day that he never used to like being hugged. But he does like being hugged. But he wants to do the, he wants to instigate it.

He wants to, you know, do the hugging kind of. He's just not sure of me. He's not sure of, you know, he seems to be more affectionate with strangers than he is with me.

You know, if he meets someone in the street, he will jump up at them. He's like so excited to see them. But he's not excited to see me ever.

But then he's with me the whole time. It's not really a big deal, I guess. I'm probably just like a chair to him, aren't I? I'm like the ceiling of the wall or the carpet.

I'm just a thing that he sees regularly. I mean, I get on the bed and he's in the bed as well. He probably thinks I'm just like another pillow that feeds him and picks his poo up every day.

Yay! Highlight of the day that. I mean, if that's not devotion to an animal, what is? Picking their poo up in front of other people. You know, honestly, it's... I tell you, there was a teacher that I did like.

And then I didn't like him. I thought he was a cool teacher. Always came across as cool.

Would see him every now and then. And he'd come and do a talk. And it was always kind of quiet.

I don't know about new agey, but very kind of about communication. You could say almost like counselling. You know, a little bit like that.

About being kind to each other and stuff like that. And I had I actually purposely joined his class because I thought he was good and it was going to be cool. And that might be a lie.

I might have just been put in his class. That probably is more true. Yeah, that probably makes more sense.

But I got this memory that I actually applied to be in that class. Because we could choose some subjects every year. At the end of every year we'd choose a subject for the next year.

And we did have a little bit of flexibility what we chose. Some we had no choice about, like maths, English, geography, history. You know, the ones that, as you can imagine, I excelled.

Not one bit. I'm not sure if I ever learnt a single thing in geography. I don't think I learnt anything in history.

I remember a little bit about the Romans. And in science, I don't know what the heck that was all about. And then chemistry.

What? Really? Bunsen burners. That was a bad idea. Giving me a Bunsen burner.

Who would have done that? I wonder if they've got health and safety now. Because they didn't back then. Yeah, they give you goggles, which is good.

But the amount of times I've burnt myself on the tripod. Is it a tripod? The thing that you put the Bunsen burner under and you put stuff on top of it. Constantly burning my fingers.

Used to set fire to hand towels as well. But I think everyone did that, didn't they? Very dangerous, I never realised. I mean, all the chemicals could have blown up the school.

But if I'd known that back then, I would have tried harder. No, I didn't. Everyone used to set fire to the things in the sink and then put it out in the bin.

I don't know, just kids do silly things sometimes. I never did anything wrong. I was literally, I'll tell you what, right.

Sometimes when I was, I remember there was a power cut in the school. I was in the library and everyone in the library crowded around me because they were reading their books and they were using my halo in order to see the pages of their books. So that's how wonderful and brilliant and lovely I am.

Halo, halo, halo, halo. Hello. So yeah, yeah, this teacher, I thought he was cool.

I thought he was cool. Anyway, he did this thing, right, where he said, I want you all to choose somebody. Let's say if you was going to be stranded on a desert island, I want you to choose a person from the class that you'd like to be stranded with.

You can only choose one person. And then we're going to read, well I actually know who's going to read it out. We have to read it out.

Yeah. And what we did is we had to swap it over. So, of course, I put down my best friend, Dean, who was sitting next to me.

So everyone did their thing and then we would have to read them out. We swapped over, I swapped over with Dean. It was like put it down, face down, you're not allowed to look at it until you get to have to stand up and read it.

I'll read this out. Tammy. He wanted to go with Tammy.

Not me, Tammy. Do you know how many people chose me? Nobody. Do you know the one person that wasn't chosen? Just me.

Everybody else chose at least one person in the class. I was the only person that wasn't chosen. I didn't like that class after that.

Because I didn't like that singling out people. It was just, it was a little bit humiliating. And people were laughing.

But then I also thought, well, why doesn't anybody want to be stranded on a desert island with me? The chances of me being stranded on a desert island are fairly slim, to be honest, they're fairly slim. But what's so bad about me? But at the time, I didn't figure out that probably most people were just putting down their best friend, or the person, their best friend in that class at the time. The person maybe they were sitting next to.

I mean, Tammy had Rachel. Rachel had Tammy. So Tammy had two choices.

Had I known that Dean was going to be like that, I also would have chosen Tammy. Which doesn't really make sense. But, you know, if that is said, choose somebody other than your best friend, I'm pretty sure pretty much every one of the boys in there, maybe a few of the girls would have chosen Tammy.

So she was quite popular. Lovely. Tammy, Tammy, Tammy, Tammy.

Or was it Sarah? One of them anyway. Tammy? Tammy, Tammy, Tammy. You know when you say a name so much and it just doesn't, it's almost like it's no longer a name.

It's gone. It's completely changed. I didn't like that though.

That, it's like suddenly a big spotlight was like literally aiming at my spot. I had a massive spot on my nose. The last year of school, probably, yeah, not the last year, but the, because the last year really I was only there for a little while.

Well, well not really. I suppose I was there from September until April. So that's pretty much most of the year, isn't it? Because after April you only break up in July anyway.

So, so yeah. But I did very little in the last year. I didn't study for anything.

There was nothing to study for. And you know, I did really well anyway. I didn't have to study.

I got distinguished. Distinguished on every single exam I did. Every test paper, distinguished.

So it just shows you, you know, natural talent. I remember taking it home and thinking it was like really cool when I got the exams back to show to my dad. So I couldn't wait for him to see it all.

All those circled D's for him to look at. He didn't seem quite as impressed as I was for some reason. So I think the other thing I didn't, one of the things I wasn't a huge fan of, and it's a similar kind of thing really, is when they picked the teams for football or for rugby or for hockey or for whatever was going on, any team sport, basketball, I was pretty much the last person to be picked.

And that happened all through school. All through school. Like literally, I had no interest in sport.

I didn't care about it at all. I wasn't interested in playing it. I wasn't interested in even watching it.

I didn't want to be there. I just wanted to just, me and my friend, we used to just spin around until we got dizzy and fall over. That was kind of what we did.

Just a while away at the time. I just didn't find it interesting. I quite liked hockey until someone hit me with a hockey stick.

Hit me in the shin. And then I chased them with a hockey stick and I got banned from playing it again. So football, I didn't like football.

I didn't like the foul. I never liked anyone hurting me. You know, if someone kicked me in the shins, which happens a lot in football, I want to get them back.

You know, when I was a kid, I wanted to get them back. I didn't like being hurt. Because even with the shin pads, it still hurts.

Not as much obviously, but it still stings. And also everyone was bigger than me. I was tiny.

I was absolutely tiny. I mean, some of the other kids were fairly small in the first year, but even they started to get bigger after the second or third year. I was still tiny.

Not as tiny as in the first year. Right, I had to stop there for a second. I'll edit it out.

Basically, he started choking. And he started throwing up. Okay, that's not nice.

But he's like was, I thought, what is that? And it looked like a bit of paper. Now it's part of that, it's part of that bone he's got. He basically must have like tried to swallow it or something.

But a big bit of it. So I went to pick it up. And the only way he grabbed it again, put it back in his mouth.

You just choked on it. Why have you put it back in your mouth? So I'm putting my hands in his mouth trying to get it out. And he's won't let me you won't give it back to me.

He refuses to give it to me. Like, nope, nope, nope. So in the end, I've got his mouth open.

I'm shaking his head a little bit just to try and get it out. Eventually it fell on the floor. And it's, I thought it was tissue paper, but it wasn't.

It was like a really chewed up bit of that thing that he's eating. And I didn't know it was that kind of material. It's like, I don't know if that's good for dogs or not.

Why you just choked on it? Why are you putting it back in your mouth? I can't imagine I'd always use that argument. But I'm saying just generally, like, I take him for a walk and he picks stuff up off the floor. And I have to do the same thing.

I have to open his mouth and get him to drop it. Especially it's rubbish night was rubbish day tomorrow. As the people all their rubbish bags out.

He's having a feast out there. It's all kinds of stuff on the on the front lawns. And he's picking it up.

Yum, yum. No. You don't know what that is.

You don't know what it could be poison. You know, you don't know what it is. Could be harmful to you, you know.

So I'm like, putting my hand in his mouth to pull stuff out of his mouth. It's just weird. I've never had to do that before.

No, I have. I used to have to do it with Andre. He used to pick stuff up off the floor.

And yeah, it's exactly the same thing, to be honest. But this one, he's just, he's quicker than Andre was. He just lightning fast.

And I did the same thing the other day, I got it out of his mouth. And as soon as before even hit the ground, he had it again. And I got out of his mouth again.

And then he had it again. It's like, just. He is such a handful.

He really is. I sometimes think, what do I actually miss about school? Nothing. And when I was at school, the adults would say, best years of your life, the best years of your life.

And I had a laugh. I'll admit that. But I've had a laugh as an adult.

I did some weird stuff. I've done weird stuff as an adult. I don't know.

I think school felt like I was just wasting my time. It was almost just seeing the time out. I think a better use of my time back then would have.

What was that? Something just bleeped. I think a better use of my time back then would have been to have learnt a trade. You know, from the age of 13, left school and become, learn how to become a bricklayer or something like that.

So, you know, be an apprentice. Because I think you can. I think there's some places, like there's a college near here.

Well, in this sort of vicinity. And when I used to go there, I used to see kids there. And they didn't look more than about 13, 14.

So I think some kids, if they've got, maybe they're not doing so well at school, or they don't like going to school, or they won't go to school or whatever. There's opportunities to learn a trade, to learn how to fix cars or to learn how to, you know, do building and things like that. That might have been better for me at that age.

Perhaps. Because I don't really, I'm not sure if I really learnt anything. I mean, I must have learnt something.

Because I mean, I can read, I can write, I can talk, I can do the basic things. So I must have learnt something at school. But I think a lot of what I've learnt has been from television, and movies and reading.

Maybe if I hadn't been such an avid reader when I was younger, perhaps, perhaps then I wouldn't have, I wouldn't know what I know. Did you hear that bleep bleep? My iPad keeps bleeping for some reason. Why is it bleeping? I'm going to open it up to have a look.

It wants to, oops, it basically wants to redo using, Google recommends using Chrome. Go away. Go away Google.

You're not in charge of me. Don't tell me what to do. Blimey, it's midnight.

Midnight. Midnight without sleeping. Green door, what's that secret you're keeping? Green door, what's that secret you're keeping? Okay, I'll stop.

So yeah, when I was 14, I would have loved to have just been told, you know what, you're going to come to China, you're going to join a monastery, and become, learn Shaolin Kung Fu. And you can live there for the next five years, or next four years or whatever, until you're 20. And I'll just say, cool, when do you leave? That'd be so good.

I'd love that. And get to walk on rice paper. You know, I'm not sure if that happens, but that's what happened in Kung Fu TV show.

I'd love that. I think, although I was hugely influenced martial arts by Bruce Lee being, you know, on my wall as a poster when I was about seven. The poster being on my bedroom wall, even though I didn't know who he was.

I think I was probably more influenced by Kung Fu the TV show. It was pretty much my favorite show. I loved Kung Fu.

Loved it. Just loved it. I mean, and I think part of the reason I liked it was because unlike, well, I didn't really get to see many martial art movies before that, because I was a little kid.

And most martial art movies are adult back then. And they didn't really show them on television. Not when I was awake anyway.

But the martial arts movies were always way over the top. I mean, they still are, but even back in the 70s and the 80s, super over the top. You know, one man taking on 500 people and fighting for 45 minutes nonstop and stuff like that.

It's, the reason I like Kung Fu the TV show is, he didn't do much Kung Fu, but when he did, it was very, very specific and very effective. And it'd be a couple of strikes, a kick and a punch and whatever. And it wouldn't be flashy.

It wouldn't be, he wouldn't be doing somersaults and then shouting out, snake, I have the snake. And, or this is Tiger stance Kung Fu. And you're doing things like that.

It was just very plain, kind of self-defense, but a Kung Fu version. And I liked that. I could relate to that.

I couldn't, I mean, even though I hadn't really seen much of the other stuff, apart from when I watched Monkey, because there was Kung Fu in that. Yeah. So I used to watch Monkey.

I don't remember seeing Kung Fu in anything else at that time. Maybe some of the James Bond films, I'd like, you know, fighting and stuff, but. David Carradine, absolutely loved Kung Fu.

Kane, good ass I loved that show. I love a lot of shows from the late seventies. Bionic Man, Charlie's Angels, The Fall Guy.

Actually, The Fall Guy was probably early eighties, wasn't it? Because Bionic Man was on. He didn't do both at the same time. I love The Fall Guy.

What is it? I'm the stump man who makes Clint Eastwood look so fine. I'm the unknown stump man. That's it, yeah.

That was great. I love that show. Remember TJ Hooker? Captain Kirk playing TJ Hooker.

That was funny. Wow. The Incredible Hulk.

I just remember, because I remember the house I lived in, so I'm remembering some of the shows I used to watch. Definitely Incredible Hulk. Mork and Mindy.

That used to be on a Saturday early evening, probably about five, five o'clock, five thirty, maybe six, but, you know, around that kind of time. Mork and Manu. I'm trying to think what other show was on back then.

Late seventies. There used to be a lot of Western movies on. Very many, many Western movies, even on a Saturday evening.

Like, there'd be a Western movie. They used to show, I remember, even in the early eighties, maybe even all the way through the eighties, on New Year's Day, maybe even Christmas Day, they'd show old movies like Spartacus. Or, or any of those like huge epic movies from the sixties.

Planet of the Apes. Things like that. Yeah, I remember.

That was a long time, a long time ago, but. And the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine. Doo doo doo doo.

Anyway, that's it for me, I think. Yeah, you know, Lee Majors is about eighty now. I looked him up the other day, just out of interest.

Lee Majors. Eighty three. Eighty three.

I used to have, I used to have a, a doll. A Lee, well it was a bionic man doll, or six million dollar man, I'm not sure. And you can move one of the eyes.

You can actually look through the eye. Yeah, that's it, you could look through the eye, through the back, and it magnified, magnified it. Wow.

I'm not sure if it had grip hands. One of, one of the dolls, or the, they didn't call them dolls back then, did they? I forget what they called them, but one of them had super grip hands. And it was pretty super.

Anyway, that's a different story. I'm gonna go. Thank you for listening.

Take care, remember to be kind to yourself. Be gentle. Be gentle with yourself.

Lots of love. Bye.