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Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name, my name is Jason Newland. And please, please only listen, listen when you can, when you can safely, safely close your eyes.
My website is jasonnewland.com And that's it. That's it. And yeah, so I hope you're okay.
Today is Wednesday the 28th of Jan... December. Blimey, I'm ahead of myself there. January.
I'll tell you why that is. I'll tell you why that is. It's because I've been uploading videos on YouTube.
And I've been scheduling them for January. I'm up to January 22nd or something. So yeah, I'm in the wrong month at the moment.
In me head. In me head. The wrong month.
So yeah, it's December the 28th. And yeah, there you go. There you go.
The 28th. December. And... isn't that weird? No, I'm just looking.
Just looking at something. 2015. 2015.
So yeah. It's been a bit rainy today. A bit rainy.
A bit... a bit rainy. A bit wet. I think I must have cleaned my glasses from the rain about four times today so far.
An old knobby over there. He's really good at night. He sleeps... I didn't say his name in case he looks up.
Normally he doesn't just sleep and relax when I make a podcast. This is the first time ever. Maybe he's starting to learn that if he hassles me he gets put into the bedroom for an hour.
I can hear it. I can see his ears pricking up. He's listening.
I do wonder how much he actually understands. So he... he's been sleeping all the way through so I go to bed fairly early. 10, 11, something like that.
And he wakes me up at 6.30. He jumps up on the bed, starts walking all over me and licking my face and he gives me kisses and he wakes me up. I take that as he probably needs to go to the toilet. So what I do... well what I did this morning and what I've been doing the last... Yeah, the last few days or weeks even is I just go to the toilet.
Because I figure, you know, when they say like if you're on a plane and the oxygen masks come down and you put your own on first before you put the ones on for your children, you know, because you need to... I use the same logic for going to the toilet. I go to the toilet first. Then I can take him otherwise I'm like wanting to go myself.
And unlike him, I can't get away with having a dump on the neighbor's lawn. But yeah, he... I found out the hard way on that one. So... I remember my neighbor actually, he did one the other day.
And my neighbor looked out the garden, looked out the window into the garden, the front garden. And I shouted, sorry, I'm clearing up. And he opened the window and shouted at me, he said, it's alright, I'm just glad it's a dog this time.
I'm like, move on, move on. So I... take him out. I go do a quick wee wee.
Put me coat on, put me hat on. The hat's a lifesaver at the moment because my hair is a complete mess. It's getting curly, really curly and getting long, much longer than I normally have it.
So it's, it really, really is awful. It's awful at the moment. But it's okay.
It's kind of, I've got weird hair now that I can't really let it grow long because I'm receding at the front. And I've got a bald patch at the back. Like at the top back part.
And bald patches tend to really show more when you've got longer hair. It's something about it. And now I'm thinking, well, there's nothing wrong with having a bald patch.
I mean, I've done quite well. You know, I'm 79 nearly. And I've done quite well with my hair.
It's really annoying, my dad. He's got a full head of, it's not annoying for him, I'm pleased for him, but full head of hair. And he's nearly 80.
Full head of hair. And my hair's thicker than his, to be fair. But he hasn't got any bald patches.
He's not even really receding at the front. He's just normal. I think he's kind of had the same level of recediation, or whatever it's called, since he was young.
It's just, he's got really nice, really nice hair. He's got very different hair to me. Because I'm curly.
I'm... Put it this way. If I shaved my hair off. Okay, if we got a time machine.
And went back to the 70s. And you walked into the bathroom after I shaved my head. But you didn't know that I'd shaved my head.
It's so curly that you wouldn't 100% know if it was head hair. It's that curly. And it's a different kind of... I've never had fine hair.
I don't mean like, hey, that's fine. I mean, I've always... yeah, curly hair. Once it gets past a certain level.
There's a level where it's not curly. And then it is curly. And it starts to curl.
And basically, do you know the... Is it Jesuit Jews that have the curls at the side? My hair naturally does that. It kind of curls like that. On it's own.
If I let it grow long. Seriously, it's... I don't need no rollers. When I had long hair.
Back in 2000... no, 1994. I used to wake up. My hair was down to the back of my... To the middle of my back.
Now, I'm only 3 foot 2. So it's not a lot. It's long for me. But for anyone else, it's probably 2 or 3 inches.
I'm talking about my hair, by the way. And I used to wake up. And my hair would be sticking up.
And it was unmanageable. Unmanageable. Honestly.
I think. I think that maybe. Although it's such a long time, isn't it? I mean, it's what? 28 years ago.
28. You know what stirs me on sometimes? To just do stuff. Remembering stuff that happened.
Decades ago. And then thinking. What have I actually done? In that time? Decades ago.
I remember. 1994. Waking up.
With my hair. I mean, I woke up with my hair most days. It was there.
But on this particular occasion. It was in the summer. Probably August.
Maybe July time. And I looked in the mirror. And my hair was just.
All over the place. It was sticking up. I was standing there.
I was scraping along the ceiling. My hair was. Bearing in mind the ceiling was.
You know, twice as tall as I was. And I was only. You know.
Two and a half foot tall. So it's just like really. What are those? Is it trolls? The dolls with the high hair.
Or Marge Simpson. Marge Simpson's hair. Is actually.
Proper. It's. It's tidy isn't it? Mine was.
Just ridiculous. I couldn't get the brush for it. And I know I couldn't get a comb for it.
But I could not even get a brush for it. It brushed just. It was tangled.
And I brush my hair regularly. You can't not. When you've got long hair.
You have to keep. Brushing it. Otherwise it gets to the point.
Where you can't do anything with it. You know once you get knots in there. And it gets tangled up.
And you know. Chewing gum gets in there. You get all kinds of weird stuff.
I mean. I remember I found a squirrel. Who was playing hide and seek.
There was two of them actually in my hair. Playing hide and seek. And they could hide from each other.
It was that. It's like. Tarzan built a little cabin.
Why I'm saying this. It's just not true is it? But it was messy. But it was also.
It's like a Brillo pad. It wasn't even. You know the only way.
I could have my hair flat. On my head. And I used to have to use an iron bar.
To keep my hair. Again it's not true. But the only way I could stop my hair.
From just sticking up. All over the place. Would be.
Wet it. When it was wet it did just go down. You can't walk around all day with wet hair.
And the other way would be. I mean sometimes I could get it down. You know sometimes I could get it.
But it was so curly. So proper curly. And it would be a gain.
I know that if I let it grow. If I. And I'm thinking about doing it. Just to annoy people.
That have to look at it. Because I don't have to look at my hair. Doesn't affect me.
But I'm wondering maybe let it grow long. Just for a year. Just for two thousand and two three.
Just to see. What it's like. And you know what.
If I can grow it long enough. And have it in a pony tail. Okay you see the receding.
Hair. At the front. But I can cover the bald patch.
Oh see. Logic. Hmm not sure.
Oh. I think one thing I'm a little bit concerned about. Is because my hair is.
Grey free. I'm quite lucky in that way. Not that there's anything wrong with having grey hair.
It's normal. My dad had. He was grey by the time he was my age.
But then he had me as a son. Probably didn't help. I. And he's got white hair now.
Which is. It's like snow. It's lovely.
He's got lovely hair. I know I'm going on about my dad's hair. But he's got really really good hair.
Really fine. Hair. It's like snow.
And it's. When he grew his beard. A couple of years ago.
He grew his beard for a whole year. And he's normally clean shaven. He used to have a beard when he was younger.
When I was about seven. And. Then that was it.
And now. But he's been clean shaven for. Decades and decades.
Probably since the 90s. He's been clean shaven. Well.
He grew this beard. And he looked brilliant. I just think.
And he shaved it off. It was. He just did it as a. I don't know if it was a dare.
Or an experiment. Or. Maybe it's because he wasn't allowed to go out for a year.
You know. He just thought well. Never mind.
No one's going to see me anyway. But I saw a picture of him. Because I wasn't allowed to visit him at that time.
Because of. The situation. We couldn't all go out at that time.
And he. I think he looked so good. He looked like.
He looked like a saint in this country. But Santa Claus. Look at Santa.
He did. It's just. Honestly brilliant.
Absolutely. But he shaved it off. I don't know why.
Because the weird thing about it. Once you're 80. He's not 80 yet.
And I think some people if they're 78. They're not being called 80. And perhaps I wouldn't either.
But when he had the beard. He was probably 76. So it was a couple of years ago.
Maybe he felt that the beard. Made him look older. Does it matter.
When you're that age. But maybe it does. I mean who am I to say.
I mean. I don't think I look my age. Then sometimes I look at myself.
And I think. Hmm. Maybe.
Not in the mirror. But. I've had a couple of photographs.
Taken of me. The most recent photograph. Was at the hospital.
When I was just about to have my back. X-rayed. Or MRI'd.
Or what they called it. You know. X-rayed anyway.
It's. CAT scanned. That's it.
Not MRI. It's CAT scan. Yeah.
That thing. And. I was in the robe.
And I got another patient. To just take a picture of me. And I did a couple of little poses.
Because I thought it was funny. And I used it as a picture. On one of my.
Photos. And then just seeing me. And my.
I don't know. I think probably from. A little bit overweight.
Bit, bit, bit, bit overweight. A little bit. I don't think I look big in that picture.
Really. But then. I think to really get an idea of how big I look.
You need to perhaps put an elephant next to me. Then you realise. But.
I don't know. And I look at my face. And I think.
Oh. I definitely don't look 20 anymore. I don't look 30 either.
Oh. I'm not sure. I'm not.
I think it's. Maybe a lot of people have this as well. Is.
I don't feel. Old. I really don't.
I mean sometimes I do. You know sometimes. Especially with my back.
You know just generally. Not when it's fractured like it is now. But just generally when my back's a bit.
A bit off sometimes. It's like oh. But.
Don't. Don't really. So I don't.
I try not to take life. Too seriously. And I guess it's easier for me.
Not having. You know I don't have the responsibilities. That a lot of other people have.
I don't have children. I don't have grandchildren. I don't have a wife.
I don't really have any close family. As such. You know people that I'm in their lives.
Because I'm not a carer for. Any of my family. And.
I mean I've got. I've got my little. My little.
Foxy friend over there. So he's now in my life. So that's definitely a responsibility.
And he's taken up. He's a bit of a distraction. I'll be honest.
I'm not sure if I'm enjoying. The distraction. But I'm not hating it.
I enjoy it sometimes. I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure out how I feel.
Because. He's growing on me. And I think I'm growing on him as well.
And. But not everything that grows on you is a good thing is it. You know.
So. I don't know. We'll see.
I mean the only real downside of having him. Apart from the barking. When he starts.
He can't seem to stop. But he's getting better. I do think he's getting better with that.
And. I think probably 50 percent of the time he barks. Is because he's excited.
About something. Like someone's at the door. I can't stop him barking when someone comes to the door.
He's going to bark. That's as simple as that. Because this is his home.
He's naturally guarding his. This is his. Territory isn't it.
But he's also excited because he knows. Quite often who's the other side of the door. Because.
You know. Well often it's his friend. The dog downstairs.
So he's excited to see him. Loves that dog. He really adores him.
I think he'd be happy. If he was with him all the time. Really.
I think he'd be happier. But together. The other dog would.
He's too old. He's an old dog now. He's old.
He's a pensioner now. And. He can tolerate being jumped on.
By a little puppy. But. And he's good.
And he runs around for. A few minutes in the garden. That's all he can do.
This one can just go on. For hours. And there comes a time.
I think when. The other dog just like. No.
He snaps him sometimes like. Like stop. Which I think is good.
In a sense of. Maybe this one will learn. Learn something from him.
Because what. What better way to learn. Than from another dog.
You know really. But. I don't know.
I'm not sure. You know the getting up first thing in the morning. Going for multiple walks.
I mean. It's a healthy thing. You know.
I've been doing exercise now than I've had for years. It's not strenuous exercise. And.
It's regular. And I think it's helping my back. In some ways.
But you know I'm not sure. My back's a bit weird at the moment. You know go.
I seem to. Right from the start when I fractured it. I seem to be better off standing than sitting.
For some reason. I could stand better than I could sit. And.
Maybe because when you sit. I'm pressing. Yeah something's being pressed onto the back.
Maybe that could make sense. Especially it was. If I'm laying down as well.
I can lay down. But I have to really maneuver myself. To get into a comfortable position.
Either. I start off laying on my right side. And then.
After a certain time. I move on to my left side. But I have to do it very slowly.
And depending on whether he's on the bed with me. I also have to be careful there as well. Make sure I don't kick him off the bed.
So it's. Yeah. It's just being careful at the moment.
And. Putting my shoes on is still a bit of a chore. It's a little bit.
Yes a little bit painful to do that. Generally. I mean I'm walking up and down the stairs.
I'm holding on. Although earlier on I forgot to hold the banister. You know.
To the side of the stairs. Just completely forgot. And I was walking down and.
It's like. I really need to learn. What is it? What's it going to take for me to actually learn.
That I have to hold on to the banister. Because. There may be something on those steps.
That will cause me to slip up. And. Oh man.
I couldn't. I could not take that right now. I couldn't take.
The pain that would. That would cause me. With an already fractured back.
To be falling down on it. Oh. Oh.
If it's bad now. I'm talking about it. I would never stop talking about it.
If it happened again. Would I? I'd still be talking about it in 30 years. Blimey.
So yeah. I need to be careful. Need to.
I've got routines. I just have to. Remember my routines.
Do. You know. You know.
I don't ever leave the house. I can't leave without putting my shoes on. Even if it's just in the garden.
Because. Even though it's probably. I may have even slipped with the shoes on.
But I don't know. But. You know.
And also. It wasn't just that. I was rushing.
I cannot be rushed. I can't. I can't be rushed.
I don't. I'm one of those people. I can be honest.
I do not work well under pressure. I don't function. It's.
I don't think it's a bad thing or a good thing. It's just what is. With me.
It's the way it is. I have worked under pressure. But now.
I just can't. I never really could. But I forced myself to go through it.
And I did work. You know I had lots of jobs that were quite high pressured. Not high pressured as in.
Intellectually high pressured. But you know even working. In a canteen.
With hundreds of people. There's a lot of pressure involved in. Serving everybody.
Making sure the eggs are cooked. You know even if it's just serving teas. To hundreds of people.
It's still pressure. And I'm. I don't work well under that.
And I never worked well under. I did it but it didn't. Didn't suit me.
I get very ratty. And very. Stupid but not.
Not so much other people but just. Inside internally. And.
You know someone asks me a question. I need time to think about the question. Don't.
Don't expect an immediate answer. Unless. You know you.
Unless it's kind of a. A back and throw. Of rudeness. Then yeah I can answer very quick.
In those situations. You know someone's. Or if I'm in a situation in the past.
With some. Someone's being picked on. Verbally you know someone's like.
I would come back and. Pick on that not pick on them. But make the other person look silly.
I've not had to do that for a long time. And when it does happen now. I just keep it inside the head.
I don't say out loud. Before I used to say out loud. I didn't care.
I was a defender. I was the people's champion. And I wasn't.
But I don't I don't like people being picked on. Even you know even a verbal. Especially if the person is not.
Coming back and they just sit in there. And taking it like now. No no no no no.
No no no no no no. I was in this sales job. It was.
Selling mobile phone. Contracts. In the Harold Wood Romford.
Back in. Blimey. Nine.
Two thousand. One. Yeah 2001.
Probably about April May. And there was this girl there. I think she was autistic.
Just based on. What I know about autism now. And how she was acting.
I didn't know about autism at the time. I knew a little bit. But my opinion was OK.
She was. Her communication skills. It wasn't so much that she was shy.
Because. She said stuff that kind of came across as not being shy. And she was quite blunt.
And to the point. And she would sit in the coffee area. You know where we had our breaks and that.
And this bloke was. Basically. There's one thing making fun of someone behind their back.
I know it's not nice but people do it. And it's just. It's the culture.
Probably in most jobs someone. Will laugh at somebody else. I've done it and I've had it done to me.
It's just human nature. It doesn't have to be horrible. It might just be.
It might be funny. It might be. Talking about something funny that the person said.
You know. So it doesn't necessarily. A negative thing.
But. This bloke was really being rude to her. So I stood up for her.
And she didn't appreciate it. At all. But she's like.
And I started. Having it just like. I don't know.
I wasn't aggressive. I wasn't trying to make him look stupid. Because.
He was talking down to her. And. Almost talking about her in front of her.
As if she wasn't there. As if she was. It was treating her.
I don't know. It was disrespectful. And.
Regardless of what condition she might have had. She's a human being. And deserves respect.
Generally. She hadn't done anything bad. She'd been a little bit.
I guess she wasn't saying the right things. For him. And she didn't have a sense of humour.
Or she didn't seem to have a sense of humour. She was very. She didn't laugh at anything.
And. That annoyed him. And it surprised me.
Because I said a few things. Previous to that. And she didn't laugh.
And I thought. Okay. That's when I realised.
Someone doesn't laugh at my jokes. I know there's something wrong with them. No.
To be fair. She's autistic. Doesn't mean there's something wrong with her.
I don't mean it that way. I've got. I actually studied autism.
Back in 2003. I bought quite a few books. Was it the name? Is it Tony Atwood? Who's a specialist on that stuff.
Yes. I was. Got really into that for a while.
I had loads of books on. On that. Because there was a time.
Because I was going through. When I was going through the anxiety. And stress and panic attacks.
And all that stuff. I started trying to figure out. 2003.
Was the period. And I was like. Something's going on.
This is happening. Why is it happening? This is just weird. And.
I couldn't figure it out. Because. I didn't feel depressed.
I didn't feel. I did in the end. But at the time I didn't feel that way.
I felt fine. I was full of energy. And then suddenly bang.
So I was trying to figure it out. Then I came over. This.
I don't know. It might have been online or something. Maybe it was a TV program even.
I was researching online. Trying to figure out what. I always say I did a. Psychological test.
Online. It said. And then the causes.
Some. Conditions. That might involve like.
Panicky stuff you know. Anxiety and stuff. And Asperger's came up.
And I thought. Oh. Okay.
And I started studying it. So I bought loads of books. Every book I could get on Amazon.
I bought and read. And it's like anything. A lot of them just repeat themselves.
You know. But then at the same time. Sometimes one person.
Will repeat what another person. Has already written down. But they'll express it.
And explain it. In a way that's more. Palatable to my.
My little brain. So I was able to maybe understand. A bit more.
Coherently. So I looked into that. And.
I did some Asperger's. Tests. I did loads of them online.
Over a period of years. And I always came up really really high. On it.
And. There's this whole thing that. If you've got.
I know now I think Asperger's. Not even a thing anymore. I think it's.
Aren't you supposed to say. The. Autism spectrum.
Which to me. Is very vague isn't it. Because.
I've met people with autism. Like severe severe. Severe autism.
People blind. They can't pretty much do anything. Some maybe have to be fed.
And. You know. To be on that spectrum.
I think it's. Just. Disrespectful for.
To compare anyone really in it. Like to compare one person with another. Other person.
Is like. Saying that bipolar is on the spectrum. The same spectrum as.
Schizophrenia. Because it's a mental health issue. Mental illness or whatever.
So I was like. Well it is on that spectrum I guess. But it's a very different thing.
It's you know. It's. I'm not sure how helpful it is.
To sort of. I'm going to check that is Asperger's. It's Asperger's.
Syndrome. Asperger's syndrome. A form of.
Autism spectrum disorder. Yeah. So autism spectrum disorder.
It's a developmental disorder. Young people with Asperger's syndrome. Have a difficulty time.
Relating to others socially. And the behavior and thinking patterns. Can be rigid and repetitive.
I've never. Ever. Really related to others.
Socially. But there's this whole thing about. Well people with Asperger's.
Can't be self-aware. And. That's from the books I've read.
Like Asperger's. Okay. I think it's just.
Understand this stuff. Are people with Asperger's. Self-conscious.
Actually patients with mild. AIDS, ST, severity. Who visit a psychiatrist.
Often conscious of how others view them. They tend to misread situations. Often conscious.
Well. For me self-awareness. Is knowing how I. Feel.
Self-aware. To be aware of how someone else. Views me.
There's no way of me knowing that. Not really. We pretend we know.
We don't know. How another person views us. Unless they tell us.
We can perhaps gain. An idea from. How people.
Treat us. Or their behavior. But.
In reality. Self-awareness. Knowing what I'm doing.
And why I'm doing it. Which means I'm not always self-aware. I don't think anyone is.
Hmm. I think there's this thing. And I don't know.
Again I'm a little bit out of date. With the whole thing. I've not read a book on Asperger's.
For probably 10 years. So I'm very out of touch. With maybe the.
Stuff. But I remember there being a very. Big thing about.
Almost comparing. Someone with Asperger's. With a robot.
Like this super intelligent. Person with no feelings. And it's so ridiculous.
Is the most. You know. Some with no feelings.
Would not be able to have. An anxiety attack. It would be impossible.
You have to have feelings. And you have to be aware of your feelings. To know that it's happening.
Because it's feelings isn't it? It's emotions. Physical. Emotional.
But then when I looked into it. You know anxiety and all that stuff. Is very high with Asperger's.
But I think some people get. Caught up in the whole. Genius.
Of it. The most famous prominent. People with Asperger's.
I think. In the world. Probably well in the western world.
At the moment. I'm trying to think. If there's any others.
There's two that I can know straight away. There's. Yeah I'll think of the others.
So the first one. Elon Musk. And the second one is.
Greta. Gutenberg. Burger.
I forget her name. But Greta. The young.
Most famous. Probably one of the most famous. People of her age.
In the world actually. Among them. But yes.
Greta Thumbelina. You're showing disrespect. By making fun of her surname.
I don't know what a surname is. Is it Thumbelberg? Something like that. Because she's Icelandic isn't she? I think.
But she's got Asperger's. And. Got.
Has. Is. I don't know what the right term is.
And Elon Musk. As well. So you could say they're both two.
Geniuses. And possibly. Greta.
Greta. Is a genius as well. I mean.
There's something special about her. I mean. I can't think anyone would deny that.
It's something. What she's accomplished. How many people could.
Become. That well known. And that.
I mean. In the future. You know.
In generations time she'll be remembered. As part of this generation that. Whatever that generation is.
I don't know what age group that would be. Sort of. I don't know.
10 to 20. Maybe. Because she's.
Well she's about 20 years old now. Susan Boyle. Susan Boyle.
I'm not laughing. I just. It's just that comes at the top.
So these are people. See this surprised me. Anthony Hopkins.
Yeah. Dan Aykroyd. Daryl Hanna.
See I wouldn't have thought Daryl Hanna. Not for any reason other than. I've seen Dan Aykroyd.
He did. Dragon it. Do you remember Dragnet, the movie? And he talked with this clippy, monotone kind of voice the whole time through it.
And it was almost like a caricature of Asperger's. I've met a couple of Asperger people that did talk a bit like this. And now, very focused with the words rather than putting any kind of feeling into the words.
But then, if you think about it, Daryl Hanna, they're both Sir Anthony Hopkins. I mean, these are actors. These are people that can show feeling.
They can do all these kinds of stuff. So apparently Andy Warhol. They're not the most famous ones.
What about the ones that I mentioned? Who's the most famous of Asperger's? One of the most famous people of Asperger's is Bobby Fischer. Bobby Fischer, the chess grandmaster and world chess champion. Famous people with autism, Han Christian Andersen.
He's, that's a long time ago. How would they know? How would they know? Charles Darwin, Tim Burton, Susan Boyle, Lewis Carroll, Albert Einstein. Einstein? No one would have tested, I bet no one tested Albert Einstein for autism.
This is just a guess, isn't it? Just guesses, they're just guessing. Why are they guessing? Bill Gates. Well, but has he been actually diagnosed? Steve Jobs.
James Joyce. Stanley Krubrick. Michelangelo.
Jerry Seinfeld. Nikola Tesla. Andy Warhol.
It's almost like they just added people on just for the sake of it. Just like, all just guess. This person's a genius.
Just stick them on the list. Puts a lot of pressure on people though, doesn't it? Imagine getting diagnosed with autism or whatever. And you go online to find out about people with autism and the only people that they're talking about are famous, hugely successful people.
Because it can go, to be fair though, they're just spelled Aykroyd, A-Y-K-R-O-Y-D. And it's A-K, it's not, there's no Y in it, is there? There isn't, is there? Oh, he was diagnosed as a child. Wow.
Benjamin Fret, Benjamin Banneker. She had been diagnosed. Tim Burton.
I mean, again, like these hugely, successfully creative, it throws a spanner in the idea that the way people used to think about autistic people being like robots and uncreative and very factual and very, when so many people on this list are huge creatives. I mean, if you think, I'm trying to find one now. Well, loads, loads of them.
Loads of very Stanley Kubrick, Michelangelo, blimey. But then this is the reason they've decided he was, because the evidence was the artist's singular interest in his work. A temper that could change at the drop of a hat.
Strict routines and very poor social skills. I tick, tick, tick, tick all of that. I want you to change the word temper to mood, rather than temper.
So singular interest in his work. Well, that's normal, isn't it? If there's something that you're into, that you're interested in doing that's important to you, it's natural to think about it kind of all the time, I would say. You know, I wake up in the middle of the night, I check my stats.
I check my stats before I go to bed, I check them first thing in the morning. I've done that for years, that's all I do. When I've been working, I check the stats during every break I have.
It's just the way it is, baby. This chair, I need to sort it out. Can Asperger's live normally? Yes, is my answer.
What TV characters have Asperger's? Probably the most famous person would be the Big Bang Theory bloke, wouldn't it? Why is Asperger's not called that anymore? One of the reasons to rename the diagnosis is that it no longer exists as an official diagnosis, according to the American Psychiatric Association. In 2013 it was classified as Autism Spectrum Disorder. And so today you can't receive a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome in the United States.
Blimey. I mean, there's, I guess there's a reason for that. I don't know.
Asperger's in adults typically causes issues of communication, emotion regulation and interpretation, social interaction and behaviour. Okay, so. I suppose everyone's got a little bit of something, haven't they? What other characters? I think it's very much like when you've got someone that it's only the real explicit people that get noticed.
So let's say Tourette's. Now a lot of people have Tourette's where they might have a tick that isn't even that noticeable. You know, they might have a physical tick or a stutter, you know, as a tick.
And unless you spend a lot of time with them, you wouldn't know it was there. You wouldn't realise it. As opposed to some people, like the T, I've got a good friend who's got Tourette's.
And when you see the documentaries, it always shows people with pretty much the sweary one, the sweary Tourette's. Uncontrollable swearing. Now I've met lots of people with Tourette's that don't have that type.
My friend's one of them. And he used to, I've met some people, other people over the years, that also didn't have that. They had ticks, but they didn't have the swear.
They might say some things, you know, involuntary, but they wouldn't, it wouldn't be swear words. It wouldn't be offensive to anyone. But that's how the TV's, documentaries like to portray people with Tourette's.
Because I guess it makes it more interesting for the viewer to see that. But, I never understood it, I mean I still, I don't understand it because I don't have it. I haven't experienced it.
But my friend who I've known for 30 years, 32 years, he, I spent a lot of time with him in the past. You know, he sort of tried to explain to me what it was like. And it was, you know, it turned him into, until he was diagnosed, he thought he, he thought he was possessed.
Seriously, he really thought that there was something really wrong with him. Like spiritually, kind of almost. He really, really thought that there was something seriously wrong.
And he wasn't diagnosed until he was 40 years old. 40. He's now getting on to late 70s.
So, can you imagine? Or was it, was he 30? I think he was 40. He might have been 30, but I think he was literally, I do think. So how old would he have been when I met him? 45? I don't know.
Maybe it was 30, I think it was 40. Okay, and it's such a long time. I can't remember, but it's a long time ago.
Either way, it's a long time ago. And he discovered it by reading a book. There was the man who mistook his wife for a hat.
And he read that book and there was a story that was about someone with Tourette's. And he was like, wait a minute, that's what I've got. No one ever diagnosed him.
Everyone thought that he was just trouble. They thought that he was a problem. He was almost self-inflicted, you could say, maybe.
Like he'd caused himself to be like that. And then he got a diagnosis and it didn't help him really. It helped him to at least know that there was a reason for it.
But he spent years trying to find a way to sort it out, to make it better. He tried every single therapy possible. And he's retired now and I think he's much happier than he's been ever.
So I'm really pleased for him. I spoke to him today, that's why I'm thinking about him. He's in Spain or something at the moment.
He's just been on a ship, on a little cruise. So he's enjoying his retirement and I'm so pleased for him. Because I'm never going to know what it's like to have gone through that.
And he's got no fear. Because of it, he's got no fear. Because basically, if everywhere you go in public, people are going to be staring at you.
Because you're ticky and you can't, uncontrollable movements and stuff like that. And sometimes speech, not swearing, but still sometimes a bit of stuff. And you have to become so thick-skinned.
And yeah, no fear. Still hasn't. Absolutely fearless.
I've met a few fearless people, but he's one of the few. Yeah, not many, but he's one of the few fearless people I've actually met. That really are fearless.
Scared of nothing. No one, nothing. Maybe emotional fears, just as a human being.
But he just doesn't have any fear at all. Because he's had to be like that. I think as he's getting older, he's getting to enjoy his life.
And I hope he's happy. That's personal information that I shouldn't really be sharing. But I'm not saying anything bad about him.
I'm just saying I hope he's happy. And that's not a bad thing, is it? And as far as him having Tourette's, I've not mentioned his name. Although he has been on TV.
He actually wrote a book about it and did a one-man show. So it's not like he's sort of hidden it. But you can't hide it, can you? That's the thing.
But, yeah. I mean, he had such an impact on my life. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be doing this now.
So you can blame him. He came to my rescue in 1997. So I only knew him for seven years before that.
He came to my rescue. I was in a really not good space. A lot happened and he basically came to my rescue.
And he's helped me quite a few times since then as well. And that was the period that then led me to doing hypnosis. Learning hypnosis.
The opportunity to train in hypnosis and NLP. And, yeah. Even when I finished my counselling course.
He helped me to get on my feet as a counsellor with a job. Like self-employed, I mean. He actually helped me out financially with that.
So, yeah. He's helped me a lot. I can't believe I used to be a counsellor.
Can you believe that? It's like a lifetime ago. Really. And it nearly is.
I mean, it's not, but it is for a nine-year-old. When did I stop counselling? 2013? Or was it 2014? Something like that. I think it was... I think it was 2013.
In the summer. So, it literally is nearly ten years. It'll be ten years in a few months.
Since I last sat in a room with someone. And they were talking to me. My chair started making a weird noise.
It was strange. Unless it was him. Flapping his ears or his tail.
Hmm. So, that's it. Yeah.
It's quite a calm session. I know I've talked about a few subjects and stuff. But it's just... That's what I started thinking about.
I don't know why. History's most famous people. It's the same list.
It's the same list. But I can't... What is it? Elon? So, Elon Musk. I'm surprised he's not at the top of the list.
Because... He's arguably... Among the most famous people in the world. Right now. Or in the Western world.
Right now. World's richest person. But it's not just that, is it? It's because he's so involved.
He owns Twitter. He's... You know. All the other different things that he does.
He's just really well known, isn't he? He's famous. And... So, he grew up with Asperger's Syndrome. Or Autism Spectrum Disorder.
As it's now called. So, yeah. That's interesting.
Who else did I say? There was another person. Is it... Who's this singer? Famous singer. I know who I'm thinking of.
It's really weird. Because it's not coming up. Courtney Love.
Now... No offence to Courtney Love. But she's hardly in the top list. You wouldn't put her as famous, would you? Like super famous.
Seven famous people. Maybe she's hugely famous in America. I don't know.
But... There's a much more famous singer. Woody Allen? Okay. Female.
He's coming up with that. When... One of the most famous artists in the world. Who's the one I'm thinking about? I can't remember her name.
It's terrible, isn't it? Okay. If we go back. So... And... Wait a minute.
I know this is not great TV right now. Okay. Right.
Here we go. Right. Oh no.
No. Different thing. It's because I was talking about Tourette's.
I was figuring out Billie Eilish. She's got Tourette's. I thought she had autism.
I'm not confusing the two at all. Apparently Asperger's is now considered offensive. I should use some of the water.
Is this true? I was told I don't know. Well, people will get offended. Some people enjoy getting offended.
It's like a full-time job for some people. I just don't have time. I really thought... I thought that Billie Eilish... had... had autism spectrum disorder.
I did. I don't know why. But no.
She hasn't. It's got nothing to do with me, is it? I think it's because a lot of things have been said. And it says that she has got it.
It says... From Elon Musk to Billie Eilish, the geniuses who live with superpowers from autism to ADHD. So what are they going to say about Billie Eilish? Physical... It does say she's got Tourette's. Superpowers, strong verbal skills, tenacity, creativity, empathy, and a hyper-focus.
So what are they saying? Elon Musk's superpowers. Way above average memory, thinking outside the box, paying attention to detail, and other specialist individual skills including reading, drawing, music, and maths. I remember when I saw that, when I was sort of studying Asperger's.
You know, it used to be called that. It's quite weird because I've actually got a book. I've got two books.
Or three books on the subject, still on my bookcase. One's called... And they're both together. One's called Asperger's Syndrome, and that's by Tony Atwood.
I just realised it on there. And the other one's called Autistic Spectrum Disorders. So, yeah, I guess... Maybe it was quite up-to-date.
Not up-to-date, up-to-date, but... Dyspraxia. I think... I might have dyspraxia. Dyspraxia.
Lack of coordination between mental intentions and ability to get your body to carry out those intentions can mean high verbal comprehension. Superpowers. And what's the thing where you're no good at maths? My dad would call it being thick, but... I'm definitely not dyslexic.
I don't know, I... My brain switches off when it comes to mathematics. Mind you, my brain switches off when someone asks me a question and they expect an answer immediately. Honestly, you could sort of say, now, open this can of Coke.
Open it. Come on, open the can of Coke, quickly. I wouldn't be able to... It's almost like I stopped being able to function under that kind of stress.
And... It's happened a few times. I remember I tried to call... There was this incident happening outside my house years ago. Years and years and years ago.
Not here, but at a previous address. And I'm just walking outside and there's this thing going on. So I decided I'd better call the police.
Just to be safe. So it looked like it was going to escalate. And... I had my phone and I could not press 999.
I mean, it's the same number three times. Couldn't do it. And it's weird.
Couldn't do it because I couldn't... I kept trying. Eventually I succeeded, but it took about five attempts to actually just press 999. And... yeah.
So I've got huge, huge respect for people that can function under pressure. Huge respect, because I don't seem to have that skill set. And... yeah.
It's weird. And... I just need everything to be slow. Everything I do is slow.
It is. It's just the way it is. Everything I do is slow.
It's not a... I don't think it's necessarily a reason to judge myself. It's just how things are. I move slow.
I talk slow. And maybe I think slowly as well at times. Although I can move quickly when I need to.
It's not like it's not... It is available for me. I've got quite quick reflexes when needed. But not necessarily in an important situation.
So, for example, someone chucked a ball at me and I just caught it with my left hand. My left hand just went up and I caught it. I was in the garage and the bloke knocked a bottle off the counter and I caught it.
And he's like, your reflexes are quick. I said, I don't know, it just happens. But there was no pressure on me.
It made no difference. If it fell on the floor, he would have just had to clear it up. But I'm quite good with my reflexes.
I guess I'm a bit like Spider-Man. Yeah, a bit like Spider-Man. But without the costume.
Or the superpowers. Just like Spider-Man. But without having anything in common with Spider-Man.
Yeah, that makes sense to me. Yeah. I'm tired.
But I need to get this thing edited and uploaded and blah, blah, blah. So I'm going to see you again tomorrow. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.
And I can't believe that Vinnie's been so quiet. It might be because we literally just got back from a walk and he was a bit, maybe, maybe. But he hasn't made a sound the whole time.
He just sighed then though when I said his name. Vinnie. Vinnie.
Vinnie. Vinnie. What if I look up if I say his name again? Vinnie.
Will he look up? Will Vinnie look up? No, he's asleep, I think. He's ignoring me. You're ignoring me, Vinnie.
As soon as I stand up, he'll be there. He'll be looking at me. And we do it, we do it.
What's going on? We go for another walk. It's been hours. It's been days since we last went out.
No, it hasn't. It has. It's been months.
Months. Where have you been for the last ten years? I just went in the bathroom to do a quick wee-wee. I was gone for a minute.
It wasn't ten years. I can't tell time. I don't know.
It just seems ages and ages. Very sneaky though. He took me.
I follow him around. You know, when I take him for a walk, I let him lead me where he wants to walk. There was a part of the walk where there was something on the ground on someone's front lawn that he wanted to eat.
And I stopped him. So he walked me around again. And I didn't really know where I was going.
Before I knew it, we were back in the same position of where that thing was. And I managed to get him away from it. He took me in a completely different direction.
And I swear, I'm not even joking. He took me in a route that I didn't know where I was coming out of. I came out of an alleyway that I didn't even know where I was going to be ending up.
Because I've not walked around the estate. He seems to know his way around. And I come out, and suddenly he's there again, trying to get to that bit of grass.
Three times in one walk. And he tried three different routes to get to it. We found it on the first route, but he might have found it earlier in the day.
I can't remember. And he tried three different routes, three different journeys to get there. Probably hoping that I wouldn't realise where we were.
Well, maybe not really thinking that way, because I don't think dogs have the ability, but... Very strange behaviour. So, I'm going now. Thanks for listening.
Remember to be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. You deserve to be happy.
Lots of love. Bye.
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.