#910 Podcasts back to normal - Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (25th October 2022)

Ah, hello. Welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name's Jason Newland and my website's jasonnewland.com. Hi.

Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Oh, my back. I'm a bit, oh, okay.

I'm not going to moan. I was going to start telling you about my back problems, but I won't. I think I need to do a little bit more weights.

I should sort that This is my other back. Right, I've got a couple of messages. I'm going to read them out quickly.

I just want a message to Heidi. Because I read out a message, really lovely message. And I think it might sound like I was being negative about a bit of it, about it being more, another podcast being more relaxed than these podcasts.

And then I got into this whole thingy-majig about the podcasts and, you know, this should be more relaxing and blah, blah, blah. Now, I'm not sure if the video is going to run out because the battery says it's run out. However, it is plugged into the mains, so should be fine.

But if it runs out, it runs out. It is still a podcast. So I just want to say that it wasn't just that I actually read some other messages on podcasts and Apple and stuff like that.

And I think it was the accumulation of different messages and comments and reviews. And I was like, oh, because I was like, oh, and yeah, so I made a few changes. OK, no space on the memory card.

Fair enough. So that's this is not going to be a video. I don't care.

Makes no difference. So this will be a blog, a podcast only. Good.

Anyway, stupid YouTube people. Yeah, YouTube. So.

I tried to make some changes as I do and never seems to go well when I try and make changes. Yeah, I make. Anyway, I deleted.

Oh, I just deleted lots of stuff. One of the things I did is on the big podcast, I deleted everything before. October and it's October now, 25th, everything previous to this month, I deleted from the podcasts.

And those are the ones where I put lots of different things on. And then the individual podcasts like Let Me Boy The Sleep. I deleted all of the music ones.

And the other ones that I deleted. So I deleted thousands of recordings, thousands. I had a. I suppose part of the reason for it.

Was I was trying to streamline. Maybe I thought if I can't streamline my body, I'll streamline the podcasts. So I thought I'd try and streamline, you know, try and did I say only listen if you can safely close your eyes.

Anyway, it kind of. Yeah, again, didn't really work out very well. I need to just leave things as they are, really.

I don't mean not make any changes at all. But just leave from leave the past where it is. And then, you know, so whatever I've done in the past, whatever recordings I've done in the past, just leave them on there.

I got I did get rid of a couple of podcasts that were just there for no reason. No, no one was listening to them. So I just deleted them.

So the. I can't remember what they were called. Hypnotic buffet, healing words, a couple of others.

Literally no one. I get. 20, 30, 40 listens a month or something just like it's just pointless.

Some of them just they were just there taking up space. Not that it was costing me anything extra to have them there, but just it just seemed pointless to get rid of them. Which I have.

And I had a few messages asking me, where's all the music video or music podcast gone, blah, blah, blah, stuff. And. Well, I can't seem to find.

Oh, yeah. So Debbie, Mike, a few other people, Debbie, Mike, Molly. Cindy.

Deb. You know, so they're back. Although I'm back and blah, blah, blah, blah.

There we are. It's done. I contacted the podcast host, asked them to just put everything back to what it was a week ago, and they did.

Took about four or five hours, but everything's back. Had to do a little bit of tinkering around. To just a bit of straightening it up, but that didn't take more than a couple of hours.

And now it's all back to exactly how it was with the additional recording that I did yesterday, the deep sleep whisper hypnosis. Everything's now as it was. Dibbity doo doo.

So that's good. Dibbity dibbity doo doo doo. So.

What's going on there? Stop it. OK, go away. Go away.

Go away. OK, good. So, you know, it's.

It is what it is. I had good intentions, I think. I think so.

I was. No, no, really. But from now on, I'm just going to leave everything.

I need to learn. I didn't. I thought I'd learn, but occasionally I forget.

And I did it with my website and wasn't able to to redo it. So I lost quite a while. It was a fairly decent website a few months back.

The website is still there, but it's just it's just playlists now. So you can go on there and find out what the latest recordings are and, you know, you can go to each one. So it's useful.

But it used to be I had all my stuff on there that you could download and stream individual recordings all downloadable. But it's not anymore. I mean, I can still do that.

I can still go back and do that if I choose. But it's, you know, it's a huge amount of time. I'm talking weeks and weeks of work to to get that done.

Probably hundreds of hours. I'm not even exaggerating. It would take.

Yeah, a couple of hundred hours, probably, if not more to get them all back, because there's so many recordings and there's so much to do and the time it takes for each recording to upload to process. So, yes, it's quite a time consuming little adventure. So I'm probably not going to bother right now, because when I do that, I find I don't do anything else.

So I don't make any new recordings for a while. I seem to only be able to focus on one thing at a time. Although something quite good I was watching, I get a lot of my information from YouTube, like how to do stuff.

And as I was just drinking, isn't it weird, I had two teeth extracted last week, a week ago, nearly. Tomorrow will be a week. I was still drinking Coke.

Talk about not learning. I mean, Coca-Cola is probably the most damaging thing to teeth. Never mind stomach and the rest of the body, but just teeth alone.

Yeah, I had two removed and I've been in pain for a week. It's still hurting, but less than it was. But, you know, if it continues, I'm going to have to sort of call them.

If in a week's time it still hurts, I have to call them up and say, listen, I don't know what to do. I don't know if it's an infection, whatever, and just see what they say. I'm not bothered about it.

I'm not worried. It's just it's a little bit uncomfortable. And it's weird because I've had two, got two teeth missing the other side at the bottom of my mouth.

And that's been that way for blimey, quite some time, probably 10 years. About 10 years, maybe. No, I don't know.

About 10 years, maybe. And I'm used to eating on the right side of my mouth. I just I eat on both sides.

But I mean, the gum is hard as you know, I mean, gums not sensitive at all on that side. And I still got teeth and everything, just those that one gap. So I'm used to eating on my right side.

And even though I know I can actually feel it without touching it, just, you know, it's throbbing, it's there, I can feel it. I know that I don't want anything touching that part of my mouth. I still find myself eating on that part side of my mouth.

When I'm not thinking, you know, from which is most of the time, to be honest, most of the time. So I'll be watching telly. And I was like, the other day, I had a bit of chocolate, which is rare for me.

I don't really eat chocolate, as you as you probably know, but but I and it was the sharp bit of the chocolate. It was like the edge and it went right in. Oh, pleasure and pain at the same time.

Because, you know, if that had been anything else, I probably would have spat it out. But no, it was chocolate. So I had to keep eating it.

So I was like, it was hurting me, but it was chocolate. And I will not waste chocolate. Once it goes in my mouth, it stays in my mouth until it's no longer in my mouth.

If you know I mean, that's I'm turning that to poo, whatever. I'm not spitting it out. And it really hurt.

So anyway, and thank you for some of the lovely messages you sent. And I realised I got to stop reading messages just generally. I got to stop taking them to heart.

It's nice to hear. It's nice to read nice messages. But for every nice message, I think it seems to work online.

Now, I'm not going to get horrible messages on my, well, hopefully not on my Jason Newland hypnotist, hypnotist group, because the private group is only 78 members and is people that I'm guessing like what I do. Now, they wouldn't be in the group if they didn't, you know, just that what would be the point, really. So if anyone put a horrible message, then they would get kicked out anyway.

So Molly would see to that and Molly, Molly don't mess about. Molly is, I have to give a shout out to Molly. She, she's the admin for the group.

She runs the group really. I, I pop in every now and then. Because I'll be honest, I'm not very good on Facebook.

I really, I'll share stuff on Facebook. But I don't spend any time on it. I need to say thank you to the people that has left me that lovely messages.

Debbie says love all your podcasts, Jason. Thank you. My gratitude journal every day would be so grateful for Jason Newland for his calming, as I said, Newland, not Newland.

See, that's how I do pronounce it, Newland. Really, I just like to say Newland when I do podcasts. So grateful for Jason Newland for his calming voice resulting in blissful deep sleep.

Once again, music is a big bonus, like a hammer to the head. If I say that's a lovely, that's a lovely thing. Learning about you growing up and how you grew into the sharing, caring human you are.

And also beautifully slowly spoken. Notice how I slow down, which nowadays I'm sure is a rare talent. Just to say thanks.

Thank you, Debbie. I appreciate that. I do.

I'm going to, I'm going to say out loud rather than write it down. So you've. Hopefully you're listening to this.

Maisie wrote, does Jason taking off the episodes of music again? And Mike Winnipeg says, not again. No. Robert says, what? Why? It makes no sense.

Please stop second guessing yourself, Jason. Now I won't be able to sleep. Ah, OK, Mike, they're back.

Robert, they're back. But you are right, Robert. Well, so are you, Mike.

Not again, because it did happen again. I need to, I need to give myself a good talking to. I've done it on your behalf, Mike and Robert.

You're right. I do second guess myself. Yeah, I do.

I can't help it. It's I'm a human being. I mean, I know I know I come across as a demigod, but I am actually just human.

It's it's it's. It's a sin. Father, forgive me.

I don't know. I can't read reviews anymore. I got to stop doing that because, you know, online outside of a like a group like this, like the, you know, a private group or something on a like just the podcast itself.

People that are willing to write a review are usually the ones that enjoy complaining, that want to moan and say something horrible. Horrible, horrible. And I do take it to heart.

I do. I do. And why on earth am I going back to YouTube? Why am I starting to make videos again for YouTube when I know that I'm going to get some horrible comments like I used to? I used to get some most awful comments you can even imagine.

Well, maybe you can imagine if you've been online before, you'll you'll kind of know. But a lot of it is about appearance. See, the good thing about podcasts is.

A lot of people won't even know who I look like, probably 90, 95, maybe more percent of the people listening to this, won't have a clue why I look like one care. And why would you care? What does it matter? But unless you want to marry me or something. But, you know, it's kind of on YouTube, you can see the person, you can see my big fat face and.

It is, you know, it's but then I'm thinking of the future, I'm thinking, well, it's a different audience. YouTube is a different audience. And it is for some reason, it's predominantly men or male orientated, not orientated, but viewers.

Like statistically, this is not me making it up statistically. And it's always been the same with my videos. It was for some reason like and I don't understand it because.

When I get comments, it is more. Statistically, more top heavy got women, top heavy women rather than men. It's still lots of men, but it's still it seems to be because obviously Mike, Robert, I got loads of men listen, but it's it seems to seems to be more females than men listening to the podcasts, not just these podcasts, but podcasts in general.

It seems to be more of a female. Like statistically, again, I'm not I'm not I'm making sure I'm not being sexist. And it's just, you know, I've done a little bit of research and apparently that's the case.

And I don't know why really. So male to female podcast audience. So I'll tell you here.

46 percent. This is the see, I wasn't looking at this before I spoke to you. This is actually a research from 2021.

Of the estimated 160 million monthly podcast listeners, 12 plus in the US, 46 of month 46 percent of monthly podcast consumers are women. Which is completely opposite to what I just said. Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. Okay. I take it back.

This is why. Oh, man. This is embarrassing.

Oh, no. I thought I knew everything. Now I don't I don't know what I know anymore.

Oh, no. And okay. Three percent identify as non binary.

So I don't know. I mean, I don't care. I personally don't care.

A female male. It makes no difference to me. If someone listens and it's useful, that's that's the only thing that matters.

It doesn't matter to me. What genitals they have or how they identify or, you know, I don't care. It's about what if it is a useful if it's useful, then good.

Brilliant. But for my own personal. Okay, let's just go from the group.

Should we go from the members? Okay. 78 members. Right.

Female. Okay. I'm going by the picture.

So don't don't. Don't judge me if if you won't see the picture, so you won't know. But there's okay, well, there's 78 and I'm going to tell you the men that will look the men's names anyway.

So one. Two. Three.

Four. Five. Six.

Seven. Eight. Nine.

Ten. Eleven. No, no.

Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen.

Number 12 is Barry White. See? I got stars listening. Thirteen.

Thirteen. There's 14 but one is Ed Hedini and he's no longer with us. So but 13 people 13 men and 14 including myself out of 78.

So that that's where I'm you see what I mean? That's where I'm basing that but it's not. There's no way in the world that I can know. There isn't any way.

How can I know? Not really. I mean, I can tell roughly what countries. Sources, devices, but whether people I mean, I don't think I'm sure the internet can collect that information.

Wow. Apparently, this is just the last 30 days. 97.92% of people listen to a podcast, listen on a phone, a smart, I guess it has to be a smartphone, doesn't it? Not going to be a dial phone.

97.92%. What about television? 0.03%. To be fair, I listen to the radio. I listen to Spotify on a telly. I do.

I listen to podcasts on a telly as well. Sometimes. The phone is probably easier, I guess.

Yeah, I suppose so. I mean, everything else is way down. desktop 0.40%. Can you remember when everyone it was like would well, when the desktop they include in that, I guess, laptop, you know.

So this is 97.92%. This is on the phone. This is the last 30 days. Let's have a look at the last 12 months.

The last 12 months 98.10%. This is ridiculous. This is absolutely ridiculous. How far back I can go.

I'd go back to October 2020. So two years. So last two years.

96.86% of listened on their phones. I'll tell you something now that you don't want to hear. No, don't don't give us statistics.

Well, I kind of am giving you statistics by percentages. You know, no, no, but we don't hear about the downloads. Oh, please let me tell you.

Oh, okay, I will. The last two years. Since October the first until now, it's October the first 2020.

I've had 9,180,383. That's it. I'm not saying anymore.

Okay, that's it. I've not said anymore. Should we see sources? You said you're gonna say anymore.

I can't help it. Apple podcast is a top 7,846,389. Second is Spotify 478,446.

Then Castbox 132,800. Then Podcast Addict 120,001. Then Stitcher 114,611.

Stop. I can't help it. I just just just you know, it's weird because I look back.

I look back I really I said downloads. I look back and it's there was a peak at a peak in. I don't know what happened.

I probably I probably guess I was I got better. And then I got worse. So you know, December last year, I had 850,000 downloads in one month.

And then it went down. And I've gone back to, you know, between three and 400,000. So I don't know what happened with December.

I don't know why it was such a, you know, the previous December I had 161,000. So I'm still way up. Two years later, I'm still even on a bad month for an average month, I'm still double what I was on two years ago.

And two years ago wasn't, I wasn't new. You know, I've been doing it for quite a while. At that point, podcasts were at least two years old.

Two and a half years. Yeah, two years. Because some of the podcasts are four years old now.

Like this one, the Let Me Boyd Asleep. Yeah. If you are listening, which, of course, you are.

I mean, you can't not be listening because you're listening. If you are listening. And first of all, thank you.

Thank you for your patience for my a random behavior. And secondly, if you do want to join, if you do want to join my group, our Jason Newland hypnotist group, it's run by Molly. A big shout out again to Molly.

Molly's brilliant. And so if you, you know, you can just just apply. It is a private group.

So you have to apply to join. What did I say on the Cindy Hall? I normally get bored by Jason for 10 hours. Last night, the five and 10 hour podcasts were AWOL.

This was this is yesterday. So yeah, they're back anyway. Thanks, Cindy.

Molly says the 10 hour ones are back now. Happy sleeping. And I'm sure Molly repeats.

Molly wrote something. This is one from earlier. This is from another day before.

Molly says. Oh, yeah, this is to the you stop second guessing yourself. Molly says, I think I think so.

As Jason takes the episodes off with music and I think so, perhaps it became too time consuming. Very diplomatic. Instead of saying, I think he might have gone off the rocker again.

Nope. I think it might be too time consuming. Thanks, Molly.

Deb says I like the music, too. Thank you. You know what I'm thinking of doing? You know, I'm thinking me is thinking.

Is thinking. That's what I'm checking. See, I gotta be careful sometimes as well, because I think.

OK, I was thinking to get an organ, a piano, a keyboard, piano thing and making my own music. How hard could it be? Yeah, someone has spent 30 years practicing and honing their skills and learning to play. It's not easy to play a keyboard or piano.

I know that. I tried a few times in the past. However.

The kind of stuff that I think would be useful for background seems to be fairly basic. Very kind of just. Do do do do do do do do do do.

Was that the alien film? Alien, the first encounter of the second kind or something. Do do. Yeah, that's in tune, isn't it? So I thought about doing something like that and maybe, you know, I don't know.

I kind of like the idea of learning to play an instrument. Or learning to knit. Now, I quite like the idea that you say, well, why would you? When I'm thinking of learning instrument.

OK. One of the benefits of learning an instrument is I'm trying to think I'm pretty sure. Most instruments need two hands.

And piano more than well, not more than, but, you know, literally you're using both hands and the fingers on both hands at the same time or whatever. But I guess guitar, trumpet, you know, I can't think of the violin, but the violin you are using both hands, but you. So I used to play the violin when I was a kid.

So, but you know, you really using your fingers on your on your right hand or left hand, whichever one's got the stick in it. And I don't know. So the benefit is when you use both your hands and your fingers, you know, both fingers, if you've got more than two fingers, then all ten and you're activating both sides of your brain at the same time.

So it's a very calming thing. It's a very it could be very relaxing thing. It can help to to balance your mind or balance your brain out a bit, especially with things like stress and stuff like that.

Knitting the same thing. You're using both your hands, you're knitting your so you've got both sides of your brain being activated at the same time. And it's.

And there are actually knitting groups that have been started specifically for people with anxiety issues. There's one locally that there was someone I knew who used to go to them. So you said, and I suppose we use my hands a lot, both from fingers or hands for lots of things.

But because it's so controlled. So if you're if you're good at typing. And you both your hands for typing.

I don't. I do use both hands, but I look at the keyboard and I think I do. I'm not sure.

I'm much better than I used to be. But then I'm not as good as I used to be either, because I'm better. I'm better than I used to be before I ever used a computer, which I guess makes sense.

But when I worked in a call centre. I think because this time restrictions. So filling a form in online when people phoned in for a car insurance quotation, I'd have to put in the name and all the crap that they, you know.

I've got a member request from Justina. Molly, I'll leave that to you to see if you want to add because I leave, I let Molly do all that. Molly's the boss of the group.

Molly is the boss. Molly, you're the boss. Wow, Laura.

Oh, this is the 15th of September. Oh, oh. Hi, Laura.

So you beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. So I was going to say. I. Yes, I was thinking about that, but then I thought maybe I'll take up knitting.

Because. You can have the sound of the knitting in the background, you know, that sound is quite relaxing, isn't it? Or annoying, depending. I mean, if you're watching telly, I can imagine it'd be quite annoying to have someone knitting right next to you.

But my nan, she knitted right the way up to when she couldn't do it anymore, really, because of her eyesight, because you do. You kind of you do need to be able to see. And.

I don't know much about it, but I imagine, I mean, a lot of it is, yeah, you need to be able to see what you're doing, don't you? Even though I don't think she looked at it a lot of times, she'd watch telly and she'd be doing the knitting. But. And.

But then. I'm not sure how good I am, you know, when it comes to doing more than one thing at once. One thing at once, more than one thing at once, one thing at the same time, two things at the same time, two things at once.

Yeah, you know what I mean? And part of the reason for that, I think, is because I like to do things, I try to do things correctly. And. I also.

Boring myself, blimey. I like to. Yeah, I like to be focused.

I quite like being focused and just concentrate. It's like when I'm talking to people, I like to just talk to one person at a time. Don't really enjoy being in a room with more than one person because I can't.

I struggle with those kind of conversations. Sometimes it's OK if people talk one at a time. But when I got, you know, when there's like maybe four people in a room and two of those people are talking to me at the same time, and surely how can they not be aware that they're doing that? I mean.

How can you not know that someone else is also talking to that person or at that person? I struggle with that. I do. I like, oh, this is too much.

Well, I did a course once years ago, and this was continuous professional development when I was a counsellor. And. There I was in a group, we like had a like a lecture or talk about a subject, whatever it was.

And then we broke off into groups. And I was with about six people and they literally were talking over each other. And they didn't even seem to notice like it was the most natural thing in the world.

They were talking over each other all at the same time. And I just sort of sat back and watched. And not one person seemed to be irritated by it.

It's almost like they were able to. I don't know, work like their brains are able to work under those conditions. Mine doesn't.

It really doesn't. So one on one. Maybe that was an advantage when I was counselling, because I was able to give my full attention to the person in front of me, which is what I was supposed to do.

That is the job. But. Because I'm used to that focus.

I'm used to doing that when I'm with someone is to give them my full attention. I try to, you know, that's it's not even that I try. I just I want to because I can't do anything else but do that.

So if I'm in a public place where it's noisy or it's just there's lots of people around in a cafe, for example. So I might only just be with one person at a table. They're sitting opposite me.

I try and give my attention that one person. But I'm being dramatic. I'm being bombarded.

You know, I'm hearing all the other people. Not all the other people, but hearing the surrounding sounds and people talking, and maybe someone walks past and I look at them and I'm distracted for whatever reason. And, you know, someone walks past with a cute little dog, you know, you know, a parrot on their head, you know, it's different things.

And I mean, there was there was a Christmas tree that came to life last year that was weird, running around. So was nunchucks. A weird thing.

But generally, I try to give my attention to whatever it is that I'm doing. Which is why making videos is a bit harder when I'm doing a podcast, because even though I don't have to do anything else, literally, I don't have to do anything else. It's just the same thing.

I've just got a camera on me. It feels weird. Because I guess before, it was the videos first, podcast second.

So I'd make the videos. So that was what I was focusing on. And I would then extract the audio and put onto my podcast.

That's how I used to have my podcasts for years and years and years. Until, okay, not all the time. I didn't start out like that.

But that's how I kind of ended up. Okay, not all the time. There were lots of times when I just did the audio.

But I never did both at the same time. That's what I'm trying to say. I just keep reminding, I'm reminding myself of all the different times that I made podcasts on the laptop, using sort of like a Blue Yeti microphone, I have a drink, or some kind of USB microphone, and using Audacity to record.

Audacity is a free software that you can download and you can record, you know, audio. And the amount of times that it would just break on me, the laptop would seize, it would just stop working. Or I'd finish recording and the thing would crash.

I mean, literally, I've lost so many hours of work from that, you know, I say work, but recordings, hours and hours and hours, loads over the years. But there wasn't really any other way to do it that was, well, for me that I knew of that I could really do, or had the ability or knowledge. You know, those digital recorders that weren't very good.

Back, you know, 15, 16 years ago. There was, there were more expensive options, I just didn't have the money to do, I didn't, I couldn't afford them. You know, now if I'd have had unlimited resources, I could have had a recording studio, you know, cut 100 grand, 500 grand, have myself a recording studio.

But then I'd need someone to come in and work it for me, because all I'm doing is recording my voice. You don't need a recording studio to record your voice, you shouldn't anyway. It's just my voice, there's no musical instruments, there's nothing else.

But then there's always the background sound, and there's always something, never quite sounds how I want it to sound. And then today, I was watching a YouTube video and it was Adobe audio software. And this video, I've saved the YouTube channel so I can watch the video again.

And basically, he transformed an audio and took away the background sound. He took away the hisses and the things like that, that are on my recordings, because that's my mouth. You know, the other day, oh, this is gross, but I'll tell you it.

It was Saturday. So I had my teeth out on a Wednesday. So I couldn't, it was no excuse that my mouth was numb.

It was far from numb. It was the opposite to numb. But I was talking to him, and he went there, and he said, you spat at me.

I was just talking to him. So that gap, that gap is literally spitting, it was me, the gap is, I'm not used to my mouth now. I may be really self conscious.

I apologize. I'm so sorry. I would never do that.

It's okay. You know, if you're having a spitting contest or something, but it's spitting at each other. Oh, man.

But yeah, it's not since I left school, not since I left university. Oh, please don't let that be the next thing in my life. The next little adventure, the next little hurdle to overcome.

Oh, I have to learn how to speak again about spitting at people. Man. So and now, as I was making the videos, my voice is getting higher.

And now I made a video the other day. And I'm all I'm looking at, I'm watching the videos back. I'm looking to see, can I see the gap? And because I don't really open my mouth very wide when I talk.

I'm kind of a mumbler. But not. You know, my mouth, I don't open my mouth very wide.

Unless there's ice cream involved. And you won't believe how wide I'm like a snake, I can dislocate my jaw. If that's the only way I'm going to get that ice cream in my mouth, then I will.

I will fill it in. And a burger. Okay, how high it can be like four foot high, I will get it in your mouth.

I could really do a milkshake right now. Oh, nice strawberry. I'm gonna have one tomorrow.

I am. That's my, that's my plan. I'm gonna have a milkshake tomorrow.

Treat myself. I haven't been out the house for about a week. Since Wednesday, or Saturday, but that was just to the shops.

I just spat everywhere. Lovely. Brilliant.

It's accidental. I don't know. Man.

I don't want to be known as the spitter. I mean, I've got enough nicknames that are just not good. It's not another way.

I know a name I need added. I just heard a door. I just heard a door close.

So what was I gonna say? Oh, I can't remember. You know, when you hear a door close like oh, it might just be if I leave the light on out there might just be someone out the front slamming their car door. Have another drink.

Lovely. Let's have a look at my phone. See if anyone's called me.

Anyone? No. No. No, no, no, no.

So yeah, I've got problems with the with the with the camera. So I'm gonna have to get a higher a higher level. Yeah, I have to get a higher gigabyte card.

Because that one's full up. That's weird. But I've got some batteries coming.

So I won't have to worry about plugging it in. And it's rechargeable batteries for the camera. So they'll be recharged.

So I can use a camera for hours, probably. So that'll be easier. What I've got the cable that goes in it's it doesn't it doesn't charge the phone up when it's being used the phone the camera when it's being used.

So I don't think it's much good once the battery runs out. So I'm gonna I've got that coming. So this so how many more times can I say so? So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so.

Maisie. I like the name Maisie. I don't know why that is, I do.

Maisie, she's on our group. Why do I like that? There's something about the name Maisie. It's a really nice name.

I don't know if I know anyone called Maisie. Does anyone? I don't know. I don't know.

Yeah. When I was younger, I used to think about, this is in the past, when there was a potential of something, you know, like fatherhood and stuff like that. And I remember thinking to myself, if I had a girl, a daughter, I'd like the name Tamara.

I can't even tell you why I like the name Tamara. You know, this is when I was, I don't know, late teens, early twenties. I just, I've never met anyone called Tamara.

I didn't, I just, I must have heard the name somewhere, otherwise I didn't make it up. I just, I liked that idea of having, calling my daughter Tamara. And once I reached, what, 28, 27? Yeah, still 27, wasn't I? Once I reached 27 and got involved in hypnosis, Milton, after Milton Erickson, Milton was the name that I'd like to name my son, if I had a son.

Now you might think, well, why didn't you name Andre Milton then? He was your son. Andre the ferret. Okay.

Well, there's a reason for that. It's a very good reason, because I probably would have done. However, I'd already had a goldfish called Milton, and he was living here when I got Andre.

So I already had, I had a goldfish called Milton. So I brought him here from my other place. Unfortunately, well, yeah, he left.

He didn't like living here. He went off. And Andre had his name, Andre after one of my best friends when I was in my 20s.

So, I mean, you know, I'm still young enough to have children, I guess. Am I? 52. So if I met someone tomorrow, what month is it now? It's October.

So November, December, January, February, March, April, May, June, July. So yeah, I could have a baby before I'm 53. There's still time.

So before I'm 53, a baby could be born. You know, if I, you know, the gestation period or whatever it was, the, I don't know, the, whatever it's called, that process. And I just think 53.

So I'll be 63 when the child's 10, 73 when they're 20. Which is still not like oldie old, is it? I mean, it's, my dad's older than that. I mean, it is kind of a grandparent, a grandparent age, but it doesn't have to be.

There's no rules, is there? And 30, I'll be 83. 40, I'll be 93. So they'll be middle-aged, 103, they'll be middle-aged before I'm kind of on my way out.

So, you know, maybe. I'll be honest, I don't, I used to wonder if I had it in me to be a child, not be a child, to be an adult, if I had it in me to be a parent, to be a, I don't know. I used to, I had a couple of godchildren years ago and I tried to sort of be a, kind of like a parent figure, kind of, a father figure.

But, I don't know. Now for the, I'm joking. Now for the body scan.

I can't be bothered. It's really hard to do anything. After talking for an hour, I don't want to do anything.

All I want to do is just sit down. I don't even want to upload it. I'm going to upload it before I go to bed and it'll be released at 2 o'clock or 1 o'clock in the morning.

UK time. But, I won't be bothered to do anything right now. I'm going to finish the recording.

I'm going to watch a bit of television. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. Watch a bit of television.

And, but I might be looking at that. I need to figure a way of, I might need to get a different microphone for the whisper stuff, because it's just not working with this mic. I don't even think it really worked with the other mic either.

It needs to be, maybe it's just my voice. I don't know. We'll see.

We'll see. Stop making changes. I know, I know.

I'm listening. I am listening. At the moment, I'm listening.

Today, I'm listening. At the moment, right this second. Not in 10 minutes, but right now.

Right now. So, take care. Remember to be kind to yourself.

Remember to be gentle with yourself, because you deserve to be happy. Do something nice for yourself today. Lots of love.

Bye.