#887 Biscuit man - Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (14th September 2022)

Oh, uh, hello, how are you doing? Are you well? Are you, are you well? Are you well? Hello. Oh, that's nice. Oh.

Ah, hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Yeah, I've got these headphones on.

I don't want to wear them. I don't want to wear the headphones. I really don't.

I'm just not in the mood. You know, sometimes you're in the mood for headphones. Sometimes I even look forward to wearing the headphones.

And then there's other times when I'm not so sure that I love wearing the headphones quite as much as I thought I once did. I might take them off. But then if I take them off, I won't be able to hear what I'm saying.

I can hear what I'm saying because I've got ears, but I won't be able to hear if there's any kind of distortion or anything like that. Or it's weird. The weird thing is because there's electrical cables and there's different things, it can set off a little bit of a humming.

Humming, you know, a little bit of a like that kind of. Well, not quite as bad as that, but everything seems okay at the moment. Or you think? Yeah.

Anyway, hello, everybody. It's only two minutes in. It feels like I've been talking for an hour.

I've been talking for about an hour. Only two minutes. Getting a little warm.

Blimey, isn't it? Wow. So today I've spent quite a bit of time in bed. I'm just getting the jet lag out on this system.

And also the kind of, you know, recovering from the old chest infection slash cold, whatever it was. And I've not been coughing today, which is lovely. And, you know, just still a little bit nasally, a little bit, but not as bad as yesterday.

I was very nasally yesterday, but today I'm a little bit, a little bit better. It's weird, though, because when you say the word nasal, it just sounds nasally. It's hard to say nasal, nasally without sounding nasally.

Although I just said nasally then without sounding nasally. Nasally. Maybe I'm making it up.

Oh, damn. So, yeah, today's Wednesday. It's Wednesday, the 14th, is it? Wednesday, the 14th.

Yeah, Wednesday, the 14th of September, 2022. Now, I had my iPad up and open and I was going to, and I thought, I'll talk about the news. Then I thought, no, no, I'm not going to do that today.

No, thank you very much. No, no, no, no, no. Keep it light, baby.

Keep it light. There's only one news story in this country at the moment, even though there's the world, you know, everything's still carrying on, but there's only one thing that they're focusing on. And I'm not going to talk about that.

So it's, it's, yeah, I was laying in bed earlier and I was thinking, hmm, hmm. And I thought, well, I could have done that when I was away. And I still kept thinking, yeah, but now, hmm, so why wait till now? I'm back now.

I had so much, I just had this conversation going on between myself and myself and I thought to myself, you know, this is going to happen when I was away. I'll get home now and then I'll think, oh, lost opportunities. But then the fact is, when I was away, I wasn't feeling very well, you know, I just didn't feel so good physically and probably mentally as well, you know, it just wasn't feeling that it, whatever it is.

But now I'm starting to get a little bit of that feeling back, a little bit of that, that old, you know, JJ feeling like, oh, oh, it's me. Oh, I got all emotional. Oh, I got, oh, I got feelings.

I've got, I've got needs. Oh, I'm a human. That sounded weird, didn't it? But, you know, I'm kind of getting back to health and it feels different.

It feels different. After, you know, a couple of weeks of not feeling so very wonderful, I'm now, well, it's a week, two and a half weeks, really. Now I'm kind of, oh, okay.

And I'm starting to think maybe none of this makes sense. What are you talking about? You're just missing out content. It's like you're saying words and sentences, but it doesn't really make sense.

Ah, ah, but does it? No, it doesn't. But does it? What does that even mean? So I'm thinking that maybe I'm in the right weather. I'm in the right oxygen level.

You know, this, where I live is, I mean, I've lived here all my life, you know, not in this little place that I live now, but, you know, technically in this country, I've lived here, you know, since I was born. I've, I lived in Ireland for a little while, but that was only for a few, you know, five weeks or something back in the nineties. And other than a couple of holidays over the years, that's it.

So I've been here the whole time. And maybe this is just my level of oxygen that I need. It's a weird idea, isn't it? I don't know.

I just feel, I'm kind of glad to be back, if I'm honest. And I've got a lot to do, a lot of podcasts to make and things like that. A lot of books to read, a lot of, yeah, I just got, I got other, other, other, other, other, other, other things to do as well.

So I'm a little bit behind on some stuff that I should have done maybe months ago. So I'm kind of just getting that stuff done, looking through what needs to be done and just trying to catch up and hopefully things will all kind of fall into place. But try not to ignore anything and just, you know, doing it.

So I've done three things today that I needed to do. So that's good. And then I need to order some food, so I better get on that when I finish this recording.

I need to get a food delivery. Hopefully I can get one for tomorrow, but if not, then Friday. And which is ironic because I had a food delivery, I think, on the Friday and then I left on a Monday.

So I got a delivery on a Friday, so I had that food over the weekend and I ended up giving quite a bit of it away to my neighbor because there didn't seem any point having it, it was just going to go off. I had like four big bowls of milk, so I gave them two in. I gave him, or three or something, I gave him just bits that weren't going to keep.

Anything I could put in the freeze, the freezer, then I did that. But I don't do milk in the freezer, I'm just not, it's just not my thing. I refuse, I don't know why.

I just, yeah, I'm not saying I will never do it. In fact, I might have actually done it in the past, I can't remember. But it's not really what I do now.

Not when it's easy enough to get milk. It's not complicated, and I hope it stays non-complicated. I hope it, I hope being able to get hold of milk, and I only have milk on my breakfast and in my tea and coffee, that's it.

Which I think is kind of normal really, isn't it? I don't know. I used to have one pint of milk every evening. In the 90s, I used to have a pint of milk with my evening meal.

And I'd drink it, and sometimes it'd even get nearly warm because it took so long to drink. But that was my little, I get trying to give myself some calcium, some vitamin D, and, you know, to keep me bones strong and sexy. So, you know, vitamin D is good for skin as well, I think.

Although my skin's, I don't know, my skin's a bit weird these days. I have to go to the doctors and get my back checked out, because I've got some, what's it, some moles on my back that were pointed out to me from someone I met, that maybe a doctor, I need to go and get them checked out, so I will. I didn't know I had moles on my back.

I might have always had moles on my back. And I haven't got like millions, it's not like, you know, it's just, I have some moles and they may, I don't know, just need to get, just get it checked out. And, I mean, this skin is weird anyway.

I mean, I just noticed as I get older, get these little patches on the skin and just, I don't know, might, it might literally just be liver spots. It just sounds weird. It's like liver spots.

I'm not old enough for liver spots, but I really am. But I haven't got lots and lots, but I don't know, just start getting it checked out, because, you know, it's easy to ignore it, but especially if you don't know about it. But now I know, I'm just like, okay, and I've got, I'd say, a photograph of my back and like, oh, okay, didn't know that they were there.

And so, yeah, I'm going to get that checked out, get to the doctors, make sure that that's all fine. And I might cut my hair. I shaved my beard off.

I don't even know why. Well, I do know why, but I don't know. It wasn't like a big decision.

It wasn't a life changing decision. I want to shave my beard off. I've been planning this for 17 years.

No, it wasn't anything like that. It was just, I, I'll be honest with you. I'm not a big fan of the gray beard.

And it's getting grayer and grayer and grayer. I mean, it's still dark bits, you know, but it's really, you know, it's, it's just, yeah, I don't like it. I don't like having a gray beard and it grayish.

It's not a gray beard yet. It's a mix, but there are bits, big bits of gray. And yeah, so I shaved it off and I don't, I don't particularly like how I look without a beard, which is why I have had a beard for so many years.

But over the last few days, I kind of gotten used to it, which is weird. It's only been gone for a few days and you know, it's, well, two days, probably not even three days. I think I, I shaved it the night I got back.

So Monday evening, so it's now Wednesday late afternoon. So I just, two days and I'm kind of getting used to it. I can't grow my hair long anymore because of, well, the bald patch and the receding.

It doesn't look so bad when it's short, but when it gets longer, it's almost as if it, oh, my phone has just come on, which means someone's probably just tried to phone me. Why are you phoning me? 16, 14. Okay.

Right. Oh, I have to move this around a bit. Moving the microphone.

I had to put you on pause there for a minute. My friend just popped up and his dog didn't want to leave. So he's decided to stay with me for a little bit.

So he's going to say hello. Say hello. Bogey, say hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

He's, um, yeah. So he's, you're all right, mate. Yeah.

I don't know what's in there. What's in there? Is that something you can eat? There you go. Yeah.

So basically he's hanging out with me for a little bit until I finish this recording and I'll take him downstairs. Won't I? Yeah. So we were getting ready and my friend was leaving, went to the front door and the dogs just stayed in the living room.

He didn't want to go. Hey, you want to stay here with me for a little bit with your uncle, with your auntie Jason. Okay.

Oh yeah. He's been weird with me because I haven't been around for a couple of weeks or three weeks and apparently he's tried to, he's actually come upstairs a few times. Instead of going in the garden, he's just run upstairs and he's just lied in front of the my front door, refusing to move.

So I think he missed me. But then when I came back and he was, you know, excited to see me and everything, but it's almost like he had the up with me. He was a bit annoyed maybe because I'd let him down, you know, I'd gone and didn't say goodbye or he'd thought he'd lost me or I'd gone forever, which is weird because I do see him regularly, but it's not like I'm with him all the time.

I see him most days, but I'm not with him for hours and hours apart from when I'm looking after him for the day or something. So I don't know. I think it's because I'm the biscuit man, because he loves, he has biscuits when he comes up here or he has the crusts of the pizza or, um, I also do get treats for him as well, like doggy treats.

So don't I, eh? Get little doggy treats for you. So, you know, he likes coming up here because this is his, I don't know, like a holiday home, I guess. I don't know.

Or just another room to his home. Is that what it is? Eh? You like it up here, don't you? Only when there's food, only when there's, well, he would love to eat chocolates, but obviously can't eat chocolate. Not allowed, eh? And can't really eat pizza.

He can have the crust, but the actual toppings on the pizza can give him a bit of an upset tummy. So we don't do that. Biscuits don't give him anything with chocolate on or anything.

And apparently just even digested biscuits aren't great for him. They can give him a bit of an upset poo. So, which is why I try and get the treats, you know, the proper doggy stuff.

But I've run out because he's, you ate them all, didn't you? You ate them all before I left. Yeah. I'll get some more though.

Maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.

Should I get some tomorrow? Eh? Eh? Eh? So what are you doing? What? There's nothing in there. There's nothing in there for you to eat. It's just milk.

Be careful. You're banging yourself on the table. Now he's thinking, well, probably stuck up here and there's nothing to eat.

What's the point in there? What's the point in being with the biscuit man if there's no biscuits? Eh? Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you're thinking, Logo? Is it? Oh, that's nice. Be careful. I don't want you to bang.

Just stop banging into things. Stop it. Stop it.

So what are you doing? I know for a fact all he's wanting to do is to get hold of that pizza box because there's still two big pieces of pizza in there. Or is, no, there's three, I think. It's the pizza from last night because I got no food in, so I got pizza.

I know if I go into the bathroom, the second I go into the bathroom, I will hear a bang. The second I will hear a bang, and that would be the box falling onto the floor. What was that? What was that? That's a weird noise.

That was a very strange noise. I'm going to put my headphones off because what a weird noise to make. What a weird noise to make.

Oh, I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that.

You think you can bully me? You think you can bully me into giving you stuff? You can't, you know. You can't. You can't force me.

Oh, blimey. Sorry about that, everyone. What? What? Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Behave. What was that? What was that? You really want that? If you really want that, you can have it, but you can't. There you go.

All right. This is going to take some editing because of his barking. I can't believe he's barking like that.

So I've given him, I've given him, and he's got this little bowl of some cereal in there. So he's got some milk. He's generally okay with milk and a little bit of cereal.

Dear, oh dear. He doesn't normally bark like that. Very demanding.

You're very demanding. Yeah, you are. Little baby.

Little baby. I want some pizza and biscuits. I got a box.

Oh, man. I got to tell you this story. I got a box of Maltesers.

Like they're a big box and I've had them for, I don't know. I bought them before I left. So they'd been in the fridge for about a month.

So I opened them, I think today, I think. And I had a couple of Maltesers in there. And I know that he would have them, not allowed, obviously, to eat chocolate and stuff, but he would eat the whole lot.

This, you know, within seconds, if he had the chance. Because I know, you know, beyond that city, and it just, you know, that's what he does. So I'm keeping an eye on them.

The weird thing about it is, when I was, a little weird noise. What's that sound? That's all right, it's not me. When I was in Thailand, I got myself, what, first of all, there's a 7-Elevens are everywhere.

They're everywhere, baby. They are literally every 200 foot is another 7-Eleven. And apparently it's in Australia, 7-Elevens are everywhere.

I didn't know, I thought they were dead. I thought 7-Elevens were gone. You know, disappeared 30 years ago, because we had them in this country in the late 80s, about 88, maybe, for about two or three years, and then they just seem to disappear.

Well, I don't know why, because they were brilliant. And back then, the 7-Elevens weren't not, they weren't like the 7-Elevens in Thailand. They were, because 7-Elevens in Thailand, like, got lots of like groceries and stuff like that, as well as, you know, fridges full of beer and things and off-license and lots of stuff, lots and lots of stuff.

The ones in this country were more like just off-licenses. Chocolates, beer, you know, just like a general off-license. So they weren't stacked full of stuff to buy.

So maybe that's where the problem was. Maybe the way they've got them is they're really busy and they've really got a lot of, lots of choice. That's a weird noise.

Unless that's the washing machine. I think it is. No, it's not the washing machine.

It's outside. It might be a hose pipe. Oh, yes.

Anyway, so I was in a 7-Eleven and they don't, they do do a little bit of confectionery, a little bit of chocolate, but not much, really, not much. And some of it, well, none of it has got English writing on it, I think. Might be a few little bits, but, you know, I don't really know what stuff is.

But there's a couple of bits that were obvious. I think like Snickers and Kit Kats, maybe stuff like that. But not much.

There's really, chocolate isn't something that seems to be particularly popular in Thailand. And maybe that's because of the heat. You know, I mean, chocolate becomes very less popular in the UK in the summer compared to in the winter.

You know, maybe because, you know, chocolate melts and it's not so pleasant, I guess. However, I was having a little bit of withdrawals from, you know, I don't eat a huge amount of chocolate and I've been eating less over the last few months. But I did kind of think, oh, it'd be nice to have some chocolate.

So I had a little look, had a little look around and I found something that I was particularly excited for. Oh, and it was a little bag of Maltesers. And I thought, yep, my favourite chocolate.

Can't go wrong there. And then I realised that there was something wrong with them. And I thought, what's weird? Because the chocolate was darker.

So why have they done that? Then I realised they actually were dark chocolate Maltesers. Because normally they're light chocolate. Dark chocolate.

And I thought to myself, yeah, it's going to be all right. You know, I love Maltesers. They're my favourite.

Maltesers, can of Coke, they're my two favourite confectionaries, as you were, you know, pretty much since I was a small child. Those two things, it's weird that they're both red packaging and white writing, you know, it's, there's definitely, yeah, there's an emotional connection. Those two things in my life.

But I don't drink so much Coke as I used to drink a lot less than I did. And I eat a lot less chocolate than I did. So you know, I'm gradually, you know, I've lost a bit of weight as well, which is good.

Anyway, I thought I'll get these Maltesers. It's a little pack. I mean, there couldn't have been more than 15 Maltesers in there.

It wasn't just a little normal little pack. And I thought, well, what about the dark chocolate, though? I mean, I've never had Maltesers with dark chocolate. And I thought, well, on the other side of the world, I might as well.

Why not? Why not give it a go? Why not try something different? Why not try Maltesers with dark chocolate? What's the worst that can happen? Well, nothing bad happened. You know, I got them home. I put them in the fridge to start with, because otherwise they'd have been all melty.

So I left them in the fridge overnight. And I thought, oh, I'll try them, try them today. And I didn't like them.

Really, I am because they're chocolate. But so I have no issue with dark chocolate. I like dark chocolate.

Sometimes, and I'm going back again to childhood, but I've had dark chocolate Easter eggs among my favorite Easter eggs I've ever had. And I've had dark chocolate. I like all different types of chocolate.

I mean, you know, some of the chocolate you can get, which is organic or it's like high percentage cocoa or cocoa, cocoa, I don't know, whatever you call it. Some of that's quite nice. I mean, some of it has peppers and, you know, things mixed into it and it's, it's all right.

Sometimes dark chocolate is not really my friend and I don't always enjoy it. But then not every milk chocolate item is particularly nice, you know. But then I like Milky Bars.

The Milky Bars are on me. And they're like white chocolate or yellow chocolate. Now, I like them.

But only a small one. I couldn't eat. I've tried to eat like a bigger bar of that kind of chocolate and it's too much.

But the small Milky Bars are just perfect for a nice little bit of white chocolate. But then you've got the what is that chocolate? It's like Caramac, which is a like a toffee, almost like toffee flavoured chocolate. And it's orange, orangey kind of.

So that I quite like that. But it's, you know, not too much of it. Is it Caramac? Something like that.

And then you got milk chocolate and you'd think it would all just be the same. But it's not, so you've got dairy milk, but then you get a bar of Yorkie. It's milk chocolate.

Tastes completely different. So, yeah, I'm not an expert on chocolate, but I have been around chocolate for, you know, well, my whole life, I guess. And I've been through periods when I used to eat a lot of chocolate and then I've gone through periods when I just haven't hardly eaten chocolate at all.

And, you know, I remember years ago, it was about 1993, and every day or 92, 93, something like that, every evening coming home from work, I would always get a chocolate bar. And that would, the chocolate bar was literally, I think it would be around the corner from where I lived. So I'd get the chocolate bar, get a pint of milk, walk around the corner to my home and I would cook me dinner.

So the chocolate bar would be eaten whilst I was walking home. And then I would cook me dinner and have a nice, nice food to eat. But the chocolate bar would keep me going.

But I had a friend who used to, we used to live with him and he used to do the same thing with toast, or was it bread? No, I think he used to have some bread and have a nice bread and maybe some butter and perhaps some jam. And that he'd have that while he was cooking. And that I guess that was his way of, like, you know, getting rid of the hunger pangs.

I do like bread. I'm not a big fan of bread, but I do like just normal bread, you know, sliced bread and that. It's like, oh, okay.

It's, you know, depends on what is in the middle of it. But fresh bread, something like, especially white bread, sometimes like a nice, fresh loaf that's just been baked. It can almost be heavenly.

I think, you know, it's a bit of margarine or butter and it's like, oh, even the crusts taste nice. It's like, oh, and a nice cup of tea or something like that. And it's just lovely.

And even toast, a nice fresh bit of bread, sliced up and then toasted is, the toast is the best toast you'll ever have in your life. It might not be, but it's nice. Yeah.

There's something to be said for fresh bread. And I know that all bread you buy is fresh, generally, you know, it's, it's, it's made overnight, it gets delivered, or it's made, it gets delivered and then it's in the shops, you know, it's as fresh as you're going to get it. Unless, you know, you actually, the bread is being made on the spot, you know, if it's actually being made in the supermarket or in the bakery itself, right, so there's no deliveries, you know, it's literally being made and then sold.

Now that, that's like the perfect situation. Oh, I fancy some bread now. I really do.

I really fancy some bread. I'm not even lying. I really want some bread now.

I'll miss the bread. I really do miss it. I'll miss it ever so much.

I remember years ago it was, when was it? 19, 2000 and 2000 and 10? 2010? Yeah, I think it was 2010. Maybe it was 2011. Maybe it was 2012.

Yeah, I think it was 2012. And I did this course, because I was working for Mind Charity as a counsellor, and there's this course on depression. That was the course, and it was like clinical depression, and it was, it was a week-long course that we all had to attend.

And so we're there, it's five days, I think, so we're there for five days, all day, every day for five days. And it was like an extra, it was a course, it was a course specifically focusing on depression. So the reason I'm remembering it is because we had lunch every day, you know, part of our thing, we had lunch in the restaurant, and they had bread rolls, and I absolutely loved the bread rolls.

They were perfect bread rolls. And the weird thing about it is, I remember doing that because I still had the after effect of my chest infection I had back then. I'd moved into this place in 2012, and it was a little room, but it was, I didn't know at the time, but it was mouldy.

And so I got a chest infection that was, you know, it lasted for way too long. And even a year later, I was still coughing. Not like all the time, but it just, it was just like this continuous cough.

So I went to the doctors and everything, and and they thought I might be asthmatic. So they put me on an inhaler, because at this point, this was 2000, December 2012. So beginning of 2013, I was working in a call centre.

And the coughing was just getting on my nerves, because I was trying to talk on the phone, and I was coughing, and it was just very restrictive. And I ended up getting an inhaler to test, two inhalers, and I was using that. And you know, it turned out that, well, antidepressants helped.

So I think a lot of the coughing was kind of almost like anxiety, anxious, stress, or whatever, I don't know. It was weird, weird, weird, weird. And then it went away.

But the origin of it was a chest infection. And the doctor said to me, this is like a few weeks into it, he said, sometimes some people have chest infection, and they get so used to coughing, that it almost becomes a habit. You know, like the muscles and everything, you know, it's, they expect expectation and all that stuff.

I said, just give me some medication, man, what are you talking about? He said, don't you talk to me like that. Well, I show you my, I introduce you to my little friend. No, actually, no, that sounds weird, doesn't it? And, but yeah, I remember that.

That was, yeah, that was going back a while. Going back some while. So I did, what other things was there? Yeah.

Yeah, the bread rolls. That's the thing where I really was focusing on. I love bread rolls, almost more than food.

I have an empty, like never fillable hole for bread rolls. I could just eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and eat bread rolls. And they taste so good, because they're fresh, and they've got nice butter on them, and oh, my favorite thing.

And after being there three days, they started restricting the bread rolls to just one per person, because apparently they were getting through too many. And they didn't understand why. It's like, well, I was eating about seven.

And I loved them so very much. Oh, bread rolls. Now, some people might say, well, it's a bit of a weird thing to get excited about.

And you'd probably be probably right, probably is a bit of a weird thing to get excited about bread rolls with butter. But you know what? That's what I want right now. I really do.

I think if I was if I lived in a hotel, I'd be known as the bread roll man. Well, I might have a few other nicknames as well. I'll never hear about it.

But you know, the staff might have a few nicknames for me. Bed stain might be one. But I just like, I'll be phoning, yeah, phoning them up at three in the morning.

Yeah, can you send me some bread rolls, please? Oh, bread rolls. Or I could be literally find out what time they cook the bread rolls. Because if they make them in-house, they bake them themselves in the hotel, find out when they get out of the oven.

I could just say, look, please just let me grab a couple out of the oven. Oh, please. Let me fulfill my fantasy.

Which is a weird fantasy to have. Maybe. The dog's bored now.

So he's lying on the floor. Why hasn't he just got on the settee and just gone to sleep on the settee? I don't know. He's lying on the floor.

Like that. I mean, earlier on, he was barking. Now, if you're listening to this, you won't have heard him barking because I would have had to have deleted and edited that out.

Which means it's going to take me a lot longer to get this recording prepared. But it was loud. It was a loud old bark.

And he did it for like a few minutes. He knows I'm talking about him now because his ears are flickering. In fact, he's probably going to turn around in a minute and have a look at me and wonder, like, well, why are you talking about me? I mean, it's a bit rude, isn't it? A bit uncalled for, don't you think? I don't know why he wants to stay up here.

Unless he really did think there was some food. I hope I can get a delivery today for tomorrow because I genuinely am running out of stuff. I got breakfast and I got enough milk.

But I'm going to have to eat the pizza from last night. That's going to be my dinner. What's been my dinner and my lunch today.

And then if I can get delivery for tomorrow, it saves me. You know what? It's really, I have, it's not really relevant. This is completely different, gone in a different direction.

But I know that I have a book of stamps and not, not, probably four left, four first class stamps. Now I know I have that because it was in my wallet. Before I went away, I emptied my wallet of everything and only kept in there what I needed while I was away.

Just so that it wasn't all bulky and carrying stuff that I didn't need. Well, part of that stuff, and most of it's still in the cut, it's in my drawer. Just like cards and bits and bobs.

I can't find the stamps. I need a stamp because I need to send a letter off. But can I find the stamps? No, I can't.

Where are they? I don't understand. Where they gone? Where they gone? I only did my laundry today as well. So that's good.

So I've done a few things, but I didn't get to send. So I did everything I needed to do for the letter to send it, but I can't send it because I don't have any stamps. But I know I do have some stamps, but where are they? I don't know.

I genuinely don't know where the stamps are, which gets me to thinking perhaps I need to put a bit more energy into organisation. Organisation. In it, eh? You know what I mean? Yes.

What is that scratching? You alright? You okay? Yeah? Good, good girl. Good girl. No.

Why is it always about your tummy, isn't it? Always looking for something to eat. You don't have to eat all the time. How about just relaxing? Eh? Eh? Just having cuddles and kisses and just relaxing.

Just relax. Relax, man. Eh? Doesn't always have to be about what's going to go inside your mouth.

Oh, got a wheat, got a biscuits, got a... No, you don't always have to have that. You don't. No.

No. You can just relax. I mean, he chose to stay here rather than go for a walk.

Didn't even want to go for a walk, did you? Wanted to stay up here instead. When going for walks, it's one of his favourite things in the world, isn't it? He loved going out. Eh? He loved going out.

Why'd you chose to stay here instead of going out? There's nothing there. There's nothing there. No, there's nothing.

Can't just make something magically appear because I'm not a magician. Magician. Would you like it if I was a magician? That sounds like a weird question to ask someone, isn't it? Hey, would you like it if I was a magician? Go away, or I'll call the police.

Hey, ee-loo, ee-loo, ee-loo, ee-loo. So yeah, that's... What is that? So I've got just... I haven't... I haven't done a huge... Well, I've done quite a bit today. I've got a few bits done today.

But at the same time, I'm watching him because he's really... I don't know what he's looking for. Oi! He's wandered off. Not quite sure where he's gone.

He's in the bedroom, I think. I'm going to have to go and check on him, just make sure he's not being naughty. Right, I'm going to go.

So you take care of yourself. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Be gentle.

Be gentle. Lots of love, and I shall speak to you tomorrow.