#877 Chickens - Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland) (6th August 2022)

Well, hello and welcome. Let Me Bore You To Sleep and there's a nice plane going past. So, I'm just letting you know before we even start this blimmin' thing, there is some neighbours in the garden, not even my garden, it's the garden over the fence, being particularly noisy.

Now, I can't just sit here all day waiting for them to shut their mouths, so I'm going to make the Let Me Bore You To Sleep recording anyway. But, you know, if it's too noisy then just turn it off, don't moan at me about it, just go, just turn it off and go and do something more interesting, or less interesting, whatever, because it's annoyed me. I can't stand noise.

Anyway, so, hey, welcome. So, my name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep and my website's Jason.com and please understand when you can safely close your eyes and what I thought I'd do today is have a look at the newspapers. How about that, what do you reckon? In fact, maybe not newspapers, maybe some magazines.

That's what I was thinking. You know what, well, you know what happened, right? I got this app called PressReader, free for a week, I think it was, I forgot about it, I ended up getting charged for a month, haven't I? The free bit ended and I was like, you damn bear. Anyway, so I think a very good thing to read would be a magazine called Chickens.

Is that your magazine called Chickens? Can you believe it? Is this very echoey? Is this area, is that less echoey now? Echoey? Less echoey? Less echoey? That's a bit better, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, that's better. A little bit less echoey. Yeah, I'm struggling to get the right coordinates for this whole recording thing, because apart from anything else, I haven't got a clue what I'm doing.

And I'm constantly trying to turn down any kind of background humming. And I just played with it then. So I don't know.

Do me best. So you can hear that, you can hear the background now. So I'll put it back to there.

I don't know, maybe that's a little bit better. It's a weird one. It's very strange.

So you know, it might sound a little bit different from time to time when I make different recordings, because I'm trying to work out what the best settings are. And it seems to be it depends upon the day because when I've got complete, I think you can add your own word and in the garden making lots of noise screaming and whether then it's it's kind of hard to kind of have to have things up a little bit louder, but also trying to block out that sound, the sound of music, you know, all that stuff that's in the background. I've never been so angry.

So I've got this chicken chickens magazine, I can't believe there is a magazine called chickens. But there is. And I didn't know until right this second, but not this second was a few seconds ago, wasn't it? It's from hobby farms.

I can't avoid looking at it. Sorry, I have to. So we're going to read chickens today.

It's September, October 2022 version. On the front cover. It's a picture picture of a chicken.

And okay, so you got right the top bizarre bird behavior explained. Malt salt cured egg yolks. Avoid drama in the hen house.

15 DIY treat recipes for healthy, healthy, happy and healthy chickens. So this is chickens, the essential poultry publication. Go free range.

Set your birds free with a secure perimeter. And then is extend the laying season. Supplemental light can increase your hen's egg output during fall and winter.

So it's aimed at America, because we don't use the word fall in the UK. So fall is, yeah, that's autumn. That's what they mean when they say fall.

Fox. Okay, this is page one. Fox in there is a question.

Fox in the hen house. Stress. Stress comes in many forms.

Predators, extreme cold or heat, melting new flock members and more. Supplement your feed to keep your flock happy and healthy. So I don't want to use this in advert anyway.

So this is the this is the list of ingredients for the magazine. Number three to range. Extend the laying season.

That's what we already mentioned on the front. Pagi. Who's sneaking in? Stranger things.

Okay, we'll wonder where they got that title from. DIY treats. Well preserved.

Cluckadoodle doo. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.

And we've got column in departments. So there's the mystery breed column. Flock talk.

Drama in the coop. Shutter clucks. Storefront.

I guess that's the advertising place. I don't know. We're gonna find out.

We're gonna find out together. Oh, this is gonna be one hell of an adventure. Oh, a trip of a lifetime.

One cool coop. Chicken chat. I don't know why that's funny.

In the kitchen, which is probably what most chickens don't really want to think about. Reader essay. People send in essays.

Really? Really? I mean, really? Are you Joe? Are you serious? People actually write essays of their own back. They Okay, let me let me reword this. There are people out there that are not only choose to write an essay.

They choose. Okay, let's get this word. Choose to write an essay.

But they also choose to do it on chickens. And then the last bit of the magazine is I guess it's the last page and it says the last column which is last squawk. Okie doke.

Right. Wow. So this is volume 13 number five.

So January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, September, October, number five. So this must be the 13th year of this magazine from the looks of it. So must get a this is Sedgwick.

Durham NC 27. Okay, eg media investments limited to 2220 Sedgwick Road. Durham, Durham NC 27713.

So that's not a postcode. And I don't think there are any roads long enough to in England to have a number 2220 2250. I don't think we have any roads that long.

So the first the first page really, that's got anything on his coupe clean as an advert. Mystery breed. Oh, this is interesting.

Chickens and other poultry members come in all sizes, shapes, colors, and personalities. Nearly 400 recognized breeds and varieties of poultry exist. Did you know that? Did you know that? Now I didn't know that.

Nearly 400 recognized breeds and varieties of poultry. This is poultry. But chickens, and so ducks, geese, turkeys and guinea fowl.

They're, they're, they're poultry, but they're not chickens away. So it's like, Oh, there's lots of different type of reptiles, you know, like, yeah, so let's focus on the frogs. That's what I'm interested in.

That's why I got frog magazine. You know, just just talk about frogs. I don't want to talk about scorpions, or, you know, spiders, or frogs.

That's where I'm going. So I'm not going to talk about frogs because it's a different magazine. I wonder if there is a magazine on frogs.

Anyone? Why don't you ever answer when I ask you questions? Never answer. I've been doing this for years. I thought at least one person would answer.

But nobody does ever. Hint. Okay, these are hints.

This breed was first developed in Europe from Japanese breeds bought to the continent by French missionaries. It's a questionnaire. I don't know the answers to that.

Why are you asking me? So this one is defining quality for generations. Is it another advert? Yeah, Murray McMurray. You're joking me Murray McMurray.

Oh, come on. If you're if your surname is McMurray, they're not going to call you Murray as your first name. Surely.

No, they would they would you? It's like Donald McDonald. I mean, Murray McMurray. I don't believe now this is normally where I go on to Google and research.

I cannot be bothered. I'm not that interested if I'm honest. Murray McMurray.

Defining quality for generations. This is the advert. For over a century, Murray McMurray hatcheries has remained a trusted family owned business, working tirelessly to ensure our poultry meets the highest standards.

Whether you are an experienced enthusiast or just embarking on the journey, look to McMurray hatcheries for guaranteed quality, rare inherited breeds, low minimums and all the supplies you need to raise your your cock, your flock. I mean, I do. So that's that's advert.

I don't really. Oh, free shipping on full orders of baby birds. Oh, that's lovely.

Oh, flock talk, flock talk. And I just realised something before we say anything else. Wait a second, what is it? Reader's wives, reader's essays, like reader's wives.

Do you have a reader's wives anyone? An Orpington drama. Turkey buzzards were circling overhead as my son Jason, spelt J-E-S-O-N, so wrongly spelt, and I slowly closed in on Ginger Bean. He had ducked between the Amiruk.

And I think this person doesn't know how to spell. I'm thinking. See, if you was a so if you received a letter, or if you was going to write something, or if you're going to employ someone to write in your magazine, would you want them to spell the name correctly? Would you want them to spell words correctly? Because I'm looking at this and maybe I'm wrong between the Amirukuna and Orpington runs.

Maybe that is spelt rightly. But Jason, I might be wrong. I might be wrong, but I do believe it's J-E-S-O-N.

I've met a few Jasons in my time, and I do believe that's how you spell the name. But I suppose there's no law. You can't say, hey, you've got to spell it a certain way, or you go to prison for a long time.

No, you just you can do what you want these days. It's not right, I don't think. It's saying there's a picture.

The chickens stand lookout for aerial predators. Not one of them are looking up. Not one of them.

I think they're not really tight. I mean, if you're going to do it, if you're going to have that underneath a picture, get a picture where at least they're not looking up. Just my opinion.

But what do I know? What do I know? I'm into frogs. All I know about is frogs. I don't know nothing about a chicken, just about frogs.

Right, so I'm not that interested. I'm struggling with this. Pecking order.

The adverts are more interesting than the stories. Probably not if you're interested in chickens, but I must admit I'm not. Yeah, that's the end of the sentence.

I'm not. Pecking orders, backyard poultry products. The adverts are lovely, though.

Really very nicely put together. The whole magazine is put together very nice. Very professional.

For your backyard flock. Nest box. Free to range.

This is the next article. Now, different times of the year bring different challenges for a free ranging flock. And that's by Rachel Heard Anger.

If your surname was Anger, wouldn't you change it? I don't know. I remember when I was working in call centers and someone phoned up and they wanted car insurance. And I said, what's your name? I didn't just say, what's your name? You know, I was friendly.

But like when it got to their surname, it's death. What? Excuse me? It's death. Oh, come on, come on.

Who is it really? No, that is a D E A apostrophe T H. Oh, come on. Why would you? Why? What? I mean, if surnames really are indicative of what our ancestors used to do for a living. What the hell did your ancestors used to do? As you said, can I speak to the manager, please? So apparently nutrition, a concept that writer Michael Pullen.

Okay, that's it. Or another advert. Live to farm.

Real, honest, proud. Happy farms. Subscribe today.

Oh, good. Processed foods, including chicken feeds, often contain synthetic versions of added nutrients. Because we tend to value a nutrient itself rather than the whole of its natural food or region.

Oh, blimey. I can't read anymore. Oh, there's a lovely picture of I wish I was doing this is when YouTube be good because I could show you this picture and it's snow.

They're in the snow. It's beautiful. I almost think that it's like anything could be look lovely in snow.

It's not about snow. This makes things look nicer. I say any I'll not I'll switch but you don't mean something most things would look nice.

Nice with snow. It just makes it look nice to live in London. And I live in I lived in a crappy, really crappy area.

And it was just dirty and just horrible. But when it snowed, it's almost like it turned into Narnia. It was lovely.

You know, I don't mean like weird animals running around or anything like that. You know, half man half rabbit or whatever he was. Nothing like that.

But it was really because when I actually moved there in 19 fucking downstairs text. I didn't think people even had text anymore. You know, like when they you know, the bleeper that goes off on your phone when a text comes through.

I didn't think people even did that anymore. I generally didn't I thought that was it. You know, that was a big thing years ago, 20 years ago.

But now I've got a neighbor that does that now like it's just constantly goes off. Every five minutes. Oh man.

Really loud, like a full volume. It's like I understand that you need maybe you feel you need to hear when you get a text. But to the rest of the town, does the rest of the town need to hear? Just just asking just just a question.

It's a question. Okay, is a really funny statement. Winter wonders.

Okay. It's important. This is also about it winter and the seasons.

Natural wintertime foraging is either very limited. Really? Or simply impossible? Really? In the winter? Oh, flora, not the margarine. It's important.

It's important to encourage chickens to get out of the coop, too. I keep seeing that word and thinking it's co-op. Get out of the co-op, which is a supermarket here.

Go out, get out of the co-op, get out of the freezer, be free. But it's just lying there. I went to all that effort, but just lying there is not doing anything.

But it's still cold. Idle chickens feeling cooped up for too long can become moody, and even aggressive towards a flock mates. Boredom in confined.

Okay, this next sentence, right? This is this what caught my eye. Boredom in confinement for some chickens. Right.

Okay, you're listening. Boredom in confinement, their own self-imposed confinement, by the way, they are allowed out. Boredom in confinement can lead to chickens, can lead to cannibalism, and that can also result in death.

Really? What, eating someone could kill them? No, I didn't think it would kill them. Blimey. How weird is that? I mean, mind you, you can't really argue with it.

I mean, chickens taste nice, doesn't it? I just caught me that like the idea that you eat someone that's gonna could cause could cause death. Don't be surprised if your chickens perch on a mowed heap of grass, or a pile of leaves and begin to forage. I want to get some chickens now.

You know, one of my little fantasies in life. One of the few that I can actually share is I'd like to have a farm. But not not a farm, a working farm in the sense of making things to give away or to sell, you know, not for a living, but for fun.

And have animals, have them all but not have them for anything other than just for them to have a safe place to live. So I wouldn't, you know, wouldn't raise animals necessarily, but just have chickens, cows that could graze in the fields and have a big, big, big bit of area. That would be the idea, you know, and have loads and loads of animals, like, you know, hundreds, thousands, maybe of animals, and dogs and ferrets.

And you know, I mean, I have an idea. This is I want to call it Andre world, or Andre's ferret world, which is basically a place the size of like a field, you know, like a farming field, but specifically that kind of area. But then, I guess, put inside there'd be steel rods in like surrounding it, and then underneath it.

So like there's loads of dirt and stuff, but nothing can they can't get out. Nothing can get into hurt them and have above it netting. So no birds can get into hurt them or no, you know, predators or anything like that.

And just have let's let them loose, basically to do what they want. And dig into, you know, put stuff in there for them to have fun with, but have a big area for them to play in. I know for a wild ferret, that's probably not a huge area, but it still would be way better than being in a cage, wouldn't it? Let's face it.

And let them breed and have babies and do whatever they want and make just feed them, you know, make sure I've always got enough food for all of them every day. And maybe invite people to come and see them. I don't know, not to charge, but maybe just have it so people like can have school trips or people can bring adults can bring their kids to see the ferrets or, or just ferret lovers just could come into my ferret world, Andre's ferret world.

And I just thought it'd be really cool. Imagine having hundreds and hundreds of ferrets, all just chilling out, all happy, and got everything they need. And I'd be there with them all the time.

So they basically have the run of the house. I'd be in the farmhouse or wherever it would be. So they'd be able to come and go and do anything they wanted to do.

And I'd make sure that I had your regular human contact with all of them. So if people did visit, you know, ferrets wouldn't be biting them or anything like that, because they'd be tight, they'd be loving and happy. And yeah, so I think that'd be really cool.

It's just my little one of my little dreams. I had another dream the other day. And I was actually daydreaming as I was walking back from the pharmacy.

For some reason, I started to think, what would I do if I had 100 million pounds, you know, if suddenly, or a billion, you know, say, let's say, my podcasting becomes popular, you know, my stuff becomes popular, and I get bought out for a billion dollars or something like that. Or billion, you know, and I think, well, if I've got that amount of money, what would I do? And in these situations, I don't go down a road of depravity or go down a road of excess or anything, really, for myself. But what I like to do, and I do sometimes, oh, I'll have this, I'll have that, but then I guess if you want something, you can get it anyway.

If you're really determined, you know, if I determined I wanted to live in a mansion, then I could find a way to live in a mansion, even if it meant becoming the gardener, you know, for a mansion, you know, I mean, there's always a way, a way to do something, I guess, if you want to, if you're really willing to put everything into it, especially, you know, the younger you are, the easier it is as well, because you've got more time. So do you want to be a gardener on an estate and live in that mansion that has, you know, go to college and learn how to do gardening, get a degree in gardening or something or horticultural wherever it is, landscaping.

So I don't know, I'm making up, but something that I like the idea of.

And I was having this little dream, this like daydream as I was walking back from the pharmacy. If I had a billion pounds, I was actually working out all the people I would give a million pounds to. And it started off with some moving away from microphone so I can have a drink.

It started off with the usual suspects. You know, I'll give my dad, my stepmom a million. And then I thought I should give them more than that.

But then in reality, they can have anything they want. If I'm a billionaire, if I've got a billion pounds in a bank or whatever, or even a million, they can have anything they want, go anywhere they want to go and live anywhere they want to live, you know. But I'm pretty sure even with a million pounds, they'd still stay where they are because they're happy.

So that money probably could be spent for them to go on holiday and, you know, travel the world and whatever else. I think I'd also get private health care for everybody, but especially my dad and my family. Private health care so there's no waiting.

I'm hearing it sounds like someone's coming in. I know someone banging in the garden. How wonderful.

Listen, sweetheart, we're not making enough noise with our voices. We need to start banging things around. Can you find a piece of wood or something to bang against the bin? Yes, darling, I'll see what I can do.

Oh, thank you. And yeah, so what I thought I'd do is I would give a million pounds and there's a list of people and I started thinking about who I would give money to. Oh, big ass lovely.

That's nice. So I thought, OK, who would I give money to? So I'd start off with immediate family. So I'm thinking of family, I'd like to start off with my brothers.

Even like, so I've got brothers I haven't seen for a long time, so I'd trace them down and give them a million pounds. Give my little brother a million pounds. Give my step brother and step sister a million pounds.

My dad, whatever he wanted, basically. I might just chuck in 10 million to just do what he wants, you know, because he's 77 or something now. So to be fair, he'd probably just spend it on the grandkids and stuff anyway, which is fine.

It's up to him. But he wouldn't need to because I would also give all of them a million. So I'd give all the nieces and nephews a million, stick that in a bank for them for when they're 16 or 18 or whatever.

I think it's OK, giving a 16 year old a million pounds is probably not a good idea. Generally, like I think 18 is probably still not a good idea. But I don't think it's fair to keep them waiting.

You know, someone's going through school and they're 10, 11 years old and they know they've got a million pound in the bank, but they've got to wait until they're 21 years old or 20. Some people are like 25, isn't it? Some people make them wait. I don't think that's fair because they can't live the life they want to live.

You can only do so much based on a promise. You know, but I've got a million pounds in the bank that's coming. It's only another eight years left.

No, that's not good. So what I would do if I was in that kind of position, I would give them money spreading over like every year of their life. So once a year I'd put in their release, I don't know, maybe five grand or a couple of grand or something, you know, so they can buy presents, birthday presents, Christmas presents, things like that.

And then I'd also have a release so they could go towards education. So if they wanted to go to college, that would go and pay for that. So we'd have to get student loans or anything if they wanted to.

And then when they're 16, have, I don't know, 50 grand maybe released to them when they're 16. And then when they're 17, maybe 100 grand so they can do driving lessons. Because in this country, you have to be 17.

I think in America, I think about eight years old, you can do driving, can't you? I think, I'm not sure. It's quite young. Here it's 17.

Well, this has gone up. And then when they're 18, maybe release 250. And then maybe when they're 19, 20, you know, just or maybe 250 grand or let's say 100 grand and 100 grand and then finally at 21, 500 grand.

So like build it up like that so they can, because also the good thing about that is, I say this because I don't think I still haven't learned, but they might learn how to deal with money by losing it. So they might get 30 grand or 50 grand when they're 18. And it might be gone very quickly.

Because you know, they'll have a lot of friends, won't they? Especially if they've got 50 grand coming. So the good thing about friends is they're very, very useful. You know, you never run out of things to never run out of ideas for how to spend the money if you've got friends.

So instead of the niece or nephew, regret anything, I've lost that money. That's it. They can know that in a couple of years time, they've got more, got some more money coming, and then they're perhaps still be more able to deal with it.

So it's all fantasy. It's not real. This is no different for me saying, oh, I'm gonna stick my nephew, put him down into a dungeon and tie him up and leave him there for 10 years.

It's the same thing. It's just that it's not fantasy. That's not my fantasy.

But it's just made up. It's not real. Giving him money or shaving his head and chicken chucking him into a cage full of tigers.

It's the same thing. It's just made up. Not that I would want to do that.

You know, I'm just I was stopped talking. Of course, I don't want to do that. Blimey.

Where would you get a cage full of tigers anyway? I dreamt that you know, I dreamt that there was lions just outside, but not furry ones, not the ones with the big furry heads. But just normal lions, you know, like, or females, I suppose, female lions. And they were just outside.

Like, this is a couple of days ago, and I called the dog in. Come in. Come in doggy.

Doggy didn't care. Just lied there asleep. I think he was asleep.

And like, why is no one else bothered by this? Hmm. Yeah, it's been. It's actually been a weird week.

I've not talked really about much of what's happened. Something happened the last two nights. I've not mentioned it yet.

I probably will. But yeah, it's really hard because I try and keep all this stuff light hearted, you know. And I try and just like, just gentle and calm.

But then some stuff happens. I just want to do kind of want to talk about it. But I'm not going to.

I will one day. You know, it's weird that there's a little picture of a little baby chicken in his hand. It's literally his hand.

Kind of just about big enough for the chicken. It looks so lovely. Oh, I'm in love.

I'm in love. Okay, there's some adverts here for go go dr power.com. And these make stumps disappear. Wow.

Grid or grind away stumps faster. That's like tree stumps. Wow, I didn't know there was such things existed.

Blimey. Although a tree stump really if it's your land and you've got access to the land and you want to do other stuff and around you need to kind of really dig it up then yeah. It's otherwise it's just going to be there forever.

And even if you stump it down, like a devil's horns, it might not grow back but it's still just going to still going to be there. So it's, you know, all benefits of time off. Okay, I'm just looking at see what's hobby farms chickens, the essential poultry publication.

So no, this isn't it. It's at the end of the notes. No.

They've got a picture of a fox holding a chicken. Why would they have that? These are clearly chicken lovers. Why would they show a fox doing that? Do you know what I mean? I mean, I had a friend who had chickens.

And the fox basically came in and removed his hobby from him. Let's put it that way. He was very upset.

And he put a lot of work into it. And I guess it's quite expensive to get it all set up. And you know, one morning he comes down and it's all kind of ruined.

That's kind of the whole story really. Opossums. Opossum anyone? O P O S S U M S. I've heard of possums, but what's an opossum? The only marsupial found in North America.

Therefore, opossums are gestated in a womb and birthed live. Oh, after birth, the young migrate into a pouch on the female's belly. There they nurse and continue to mature until they can live beyond their mother's body.

Like a kangaroo, innit? So who else should I give money? So I thought like immediate family, give money to parents. And then I thought, what about cousins? So I've got, I've only got one, okay, I've got one cousin that it's like a first cousin that I've really had any contact with at all, pretty much as an adult. But I do have other cousins.

I've got quite a big family. I do have other cousins, but I haven't really had any contact with them at all for, well, since I was a kid. And then I've got some other cousins that I've met that are like distant, distant cousins.

A couple that I was very close to at one point. So I would give, I'd give a million pounds to each of my cousins, even the ones that I haven't seen for 30 or 40 years. I just give it to them.

I'd also give a million to my uncles and aunts. I'd give a million to the cousins, to their kids, my cousins. And then perhaps give a million to their kids.

Because their kids are all adults as well. So blimey, they might have kids as well. I've got to stop somewhere, ain't I? And what's next is give it to the dustmen.

And so I'll just give the, give that money to them. Then I'll give money to my other cousins. And my, yeah, so those people from London, give them a million pounds.

I used to live with them, so they deserve it. I live, I do, I live with my cousin for four years. She deserves more than a million pounds, honestly, putting up with me for four years.

And then I was her lodger. And then what else? I guess then it comes down to friends. So I'd give, I've got like a handful of friends that I just think of, like to start with, I'd give a million pounds to them.

And then I think I'm hungry, you know? Might be time to eat. What's the time? What is the time? Why doesn't it have the time on it? Okay, it's 20 past two in the afternoon. And 12, 1, 2. Yeah, probably is time really.

Time to probably get some food. This chair is very squeaky today. So who else would I give a million pounds to? I probably, I was fantasizing about giving money to people that I haven't seen for absolutely years.

People from the past. People that I don't even speak to anymore. People that don't speak to me anymore.

People that I can't even speak to, that wouldn't want to speak to me. But they don't have to get a lawyer or solicitor or someone to deliver the check to them or to deliver the cash to give them a suitcase. And there you go, there's a million pounds.

Goodbye. And that was it. So, you know, to get them to sign a, sign a form just in a, just to, you know, to check that it's the right person.

Imagine if they moved. You just moved into a new house three months ago and the knock at the door and someone says, oh, here's a million pounds. Well, thanks.

They say to you, is your name Peter? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, of course. It's Peter.

Yeah. Yep. It's Peter.

And his name's Peter as well. And she's Peter. And we're all Peter.

Very, very, very much so. Oh, yes. We're going to enjoy this.

So who else would I give a million pounds to as I was imagining? Well, I wasn't imagining walking back for the pharmacy. I actually was walking back from the pharmacy. But for some reason, I was having this little daydream.

I definitely wouldn't be living here. That's 100%. I would move somewhere nice.

I don't know, I'm not sure if I'd have, I guess I'd need a permanent place of residence, just, you know, somewhere that I can say, well, this is my home. This is where I live. You know, but then I would want to maybe live somewhere else.

So perhaps have a setup where I moved to Thailand or something and just had a nice place there. And maybe just don't have to buy anything for now. And you just rent rent somewhere really nice for a year.

And just see if I liked it rather than spend, you know, buying. And then, yeah, I'll be traveling. I'll also travel first class as well.

There's no point traveling. Economy is there if you're if you're rich, I mean, it doesn't make sense. I know.

It's very expensive to travel first class. But it'd be silly. I mean, imagine being a millionaire and cutting corners like that.

But I suppose if you're traveling all the time, you know, you're traveling on a flight every single week of the year. And instead of paying, let's say, 700 dollars for a flight, you're paying nine grand or 10 grand or 15 grand or whatever. Then I suppose that is going to add up in it.

You know, you can end up paying, I was at a half a million a year just on flights. So I guess, yeah, that makes sense. I suppose to be frugal, frugal, few, frugal, frugal.

I don't know how the word that is. How to how the word that is. It's not a sentence, is it? I don't know how the word that is.

I don't know where be gone. Don't know where be they gone. Won't be gone.

Don't don't bother. Bom bom bom. I don't know.

So what else would I do? I don't drive. I think if I lived, let's say, if I decided to move to Thailand, I would get myself a car and a chauffeur, a sober chauffeur, someone that is a very good driver. And I'd get more than one.

I get maybe, you know, so that basically I can just be taken wherever I want, whenever I want. And so I'd have a really nice car of air conditioning that you need it over there. And I'd like to travel on not yachts.

I like to on boats, you know, I'd like to go on cruises. So I think that's something I quite like to do in the future. And that would, I don't think it would change just because I had money, just because I was a multi-billionaire.

So I think one thing I'd like, if I came into money, I would book myself on a year-long cruise and continue to make podcasts, but on the, you know, on the move and that stuff. And that would be what I would do. Just, just to travel, just to get around and visit places and just to sort of have done it.

And on my travels, I might find somewhere that I fall in love with, somewhere that I just like, wow, I love this place. I want to stay here forever because I've never, I've never been to a place like that before. Never been somewhere where I thought I want to be here forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.

Apart from my bed, that's about the only place. And there was Trudy. No, no, I'm joking.

So yeah, I did wonder where Denmark would be a place, or is a place, but whether something like that would be, I don't know why, I don't know why Denmark, I seem to have that in my head. But, you know, I might, I've been to Spain, but only for the afternoon. So Spain might be amazing.

I might love Italy, I might love France. I've been to France. I didn't, didn't not love it.

I didn't. There was very little communication between me and anyone else whilst visiting France for those. I don't know how many days we were traveling through the south of France.

So it was very little English being spoke and I didn't, I didn't have any French. He, my friend I was with was very good with his French, but I wasn't so good. It's then that I realized that maybe, perhaps, with a time machine, I could go back and learn some French.

But you know what? You know, people say that, if you did get given a time machine, what would you really do? I mean, really? You know, especially if you can only go, I mean, first of all, you can make changes, because that's the thing. So, well, you can't make changes. Well, there's no point having a time machine if you can't make changes in your own life, unless you just want to be able to observe, you know, that'd be brilliant.

You go back to, for me, Vikings to see if they really were as disgusting as they were portrayed. I'd like to go back to, you know, see just, you know, a lot of things that have been written about. I'll leave it there.

But a lot of things have been written about, and that has resulted in millions upon millions, billions of people over, you know, the centuries, over thousands of years, believing certain things. I'd like to know how much of that is based on truth, and how much is made up. So, as I go to that place, and I hear that person talking, I'd also, the time machine would have to make sure that everyone spoke English.

So, whatever country I went to, they would all be speaking English. I know that's not realistic, but neither is a time machine. So, you know, don't be getting all nitty with me, okay? It's a fantasy.

So, if it's my fantasy, I can add anything. And I add the fact that when I travel back in that time machine, it makes everybody speak English, so that I can understand what's being said, and then I can start making some notes. Yeah? Just so I can kind of like, and then just compare it with what's been written.

How much of it is BS, and how much of it really, really did happen. Because you know what? If you listen to me, okay? Listen to me. If you listen to me, this recording, and let's say you didn't fall asleep from boredom, and you actually listened to the whole thing, why would you? But if you did, and then you weren't able to write it down, because paper wasn't, didn't exist at the time.

So, you know, maybe you kind of just spread the word verbally, and you thought, okay, well, I'll tell someone else what I said in this recording. And then they tell someone else what I said in this recording, and then they tell someone else, I think, isn't it called Chinese whispers? I think it's, it'd be interesting after two and a half thousand years, how much of that is really going to, you know, okay, that's what you said happened, it's been written down, notice as you listen, out of the blue, we've got the original recording. Let's have a listen to this and see how it matches with what's been written down, shall we? Yeah, I'm very excited.

I'd be very interested to see how similar those, the words that were actually said by various famous people before, before they were properly, properly documented, you know, before we had recordings, where, you know, so if someone says something in an old recording, like Martin Luther King, his, you know, his, when he was doing his rallies, they were recorded, his speeches were recorded, Malcolm X recorded, JFK recorded. Interviews with so many people, you know, over the last century, documented because it's recorded on film or audio. Now, of course, you can distort that, you can change it around, even a 10-year-old at school can change, you know what I mean, anyone with the knowledge, regardless of age, really, that's what I'm trying to say is, can change something so it sounds like something else has been said.

But we kind of know what's said. And enough people were around and heard it the first time, you know, from the 60s, like, I have a dream. I can't remember the rest of it, but it's the only bit.

And it's kind of easier to prove. But there were no videos two and a half thousand years ago. Unfortunately, how brilliant would that be? The thing is weird, though, because even if there are videos, imagine if, for example, the Buddha, okay, let's go, let's go to Buddha.

And the Buddha was recorded every single day for 40 years. And he taught and he got, you know, taught every day, for 40 years after enlightenment. And he told, you know, everything was recorded audio and on video.

And then, you know, put into book form. Two and a half thousand years ago, people would still be arguing about what he meant. Even though he explained what he meant, it'd still be arguing about what he meant by the way he explained by his explanation of what he meant.

And is this a no win situation is because it's human beings, isn't it? Just human beings. Just human beings. Oh, anyway, I want to go because I started shouting outside again.

For some reason. I don't know, maybe they've got hearing issues. I did wish to think about that.

Maybe the reason they shout is because they can't hear so well, and they don't realize it. I don't know. And I'm not making fun of them.

I used to have hearing issues when I was younger. But I don't remember shouting. But you know that when you come out of a swimming pool, and your ears are full of water, and you can't hear and you're like, where's my shorts? You know, that kind of thing.

It's or Yeah, or if you come out of a nightclub, it's been really loud music, suddenly, like, it's weird. You know, or if you've got headphones on, and you listen and you shout into the person because you can't quite hear them. So yeah, maybe that's what's going on.

Anyway, I wish them well, whatever. Yep. So I'm going to go.

Thank you very much for listening. Thank you, everybody. So remember to be kind to yourself.

Remember to be gentle with yourself. Because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love.

Bye