#898 Cancelling streaming aps - Let me bore you to sleep (Jason Newland) (1st October 2022)

Oh, hello, ha ha ha, hey, hey, hi, hey, hello, hello, hello and how do you do? Are you well? Are you well? Are you well? Are you well? So this is, uh, hello, hi, hi, hi, hi, how are you? Are you well? Don't want it to be too loud, but at the same time, let's take that off, yep. Hello, hello, welcome to let me bore you to sleep. My name is Jason Newland and this is jasonnewland.com is my website, my website.

Hello, how are you doing? Ah, hmm, just wash my hair. And you might be looking and thinking, what hair? There ain't no hair there. You ain't washed no hair.

There's got to be some hair if you're going to wash it. I'll take this off. I'll take the headphones off so you can see.

Look, there is some hair. This is stuff you. I'll drink a coke.

I've got my iPad in front of me, but there's nothing on the screen because I thought I'd just go through the news, you know, go and see what's happening on today, which is Saturday, the 1st of October. Wow. It is the 1st of October, isn't it? It's the 1st of the month, right? Oh yeah.

Only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Very important. Okay.

Because I am incredibly boring. I'm the most boring person you'll ever hear in your life. And that is what this podcast is about.

Even though I'll talk about potentially interesting things, you'll still find yourself relaxing deeply and drifting off maybe even into sleep. So, you know, it's very important. You only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes.

That's not a joke. That's serious. Because, you know, if you're flying a jumbo jet right now, maybe turn it off.

You know, this isn't classical music, where you can mellow out and chill out while I'm relaxed while you're doing something. This is zonk out boredom, most bored you're perhaps ever going to get. This is an equivalent would be sitting in a lecture when you're hung over.

Or you're just incredibly tired. Maybe you're at college, university. Just as an example, and I've been here, I've been there.

And you're sitting, facing somebody who's talking. And all you want to do is close your eyes, or climb underneath, you know, the chair and go to sleep, because you're literally seconds away from falling asleep. And it doesn't have to be hung over, it could just be tired.

You've been up all night partying or having fun or just maybe you've been up all night doing other enjoyable things. Or you just haven't had quite enough sleep. Okay.

Or it might just be that the person that's talking to you is so boring, that you just feel like you haven't had enough sleep. And you haven't slept for weeks. And you just, you're seconds away.

And you know that if you close your eyes, you're just going to be gone. That's it. You just and you are your eyes won't want to open.

So that's what this podcast is about. Now, technically, it doesn't have hypnosis, you know, this is not, I do hypnosis podcast, this is not a hypnosis podcast. So, you know, from that perspective, I'm not really doing anything but just talking, kind of.

And some people listen for entertainment, some people listen for company, which I have a lot of respect for, because I understand, I have a very, I have an understanding of how it feels for me to live quite a solitary life, especially, you know, the last couple of years, a lot of two years ago, which it kind of became quite solitary for a lot of people. Now I've lived a solitary life most of my life, really, adult life. And even when I was a kid, I'd like to be on my own, like to sit in my bedroom, reading books, I'd rather watch television on my own than with other people.

Still the same now. And so yeah, quite a solitary person by choice. But then what happens, I think, with life, with life, let me tell you about life, everyone.

I've got things to tell you. I think with life is, for me, I'm trying not to generalise, you know, for other people, because, I mean, we can only ever really talk about our own experiences, can't we? We can't talk about other people's experiences, not really, unless we're telling a story about what someone else has told us about how they experienced a certain specific situation or event in their life. But I can't assume that the way I experienced isolation, or anxiety, stress, whatever, is the same as how other people have experienced it.

Because we're all different, we're all unique individuals. So I'm a unique, I'm a unique person, just like all my friends, just exactly like them, very unique. So there's another scenario, I remember years ago, I was at Butlin's, that's it, at Butlin's, and we had, I was working at Butlin's, this is a long, long time ago.

And I did, I was up all night doing whatever, partying really. And then we had to go and have this, so I think we were partying, and then this is like quite early on getting there. So we were there partying for about three days or something, before work even started.

And then we had an induction, it was like a first aid, health and safety kind of induction, or thing that we had to watch and listen to. And even now, so that was 91, 95 times, so there's 95, 2005, 2006, 95, 2005, 15, so what's that, 17 years or something. That's under 100 years ago, over four years ago.

I remember that feeling of just sitting there, trying to keep my eyes open, wishing I'd had one of those things that I could have painted on my glasses, I didn't have glasses back then, you know, eyeballs or whatever, so I could have just held them into my eye sockets, to look like I was awake. And I couldn't, I really couldn't keep my eyes open. And it was so, so, so difficult to do that, because it seemed like whenever I was about to close my eyes, I'd look at the person who was on the stage, or who was, you know, doing the talking to the group.

There's a big group, there's got a good hundred people there. And the person seemed to be looking at me. Now, it might have been because I had no clothes on.

I don't know, who knows, or it might have been because me, who knows, it might have just been the fact that I was, had a pillow and kept lying down. But I, I was the one, why were you drawing on your eyelids? Like you're drawing eyeballs on your eyelids. No, I wasn't, sir.

I wasn't, honest. That feeling of just forcing yourself to stay awake, forcing your eyes to stay open, is a very difficult feeling to, to stay hold of. It's practically impossible, you know, in a, in a situation where it's safe to close your eyes, you're going to close your eyes.

Now, of course, there are times when you have to keep your eyes open. And as I said, you know, in a situation where, but you need to do something, you know, make sure you don't get to that stage of being so tired. But when people listen to my hypnosis recordings, whether it's this or the deep sleep whisper, or it's the relaxed sleep hypnosis daily, or boring objects, or I don't know, whatever other ones I do, I forget.

There's that sense of just, and I don't think it's from a negative perspective, because people wouldn't listen. You know, if a watch, you know, if it was like, Oh God, not this. Not this idiot again.

No, yeah. Well, you know, you're choosing to watch this or to listen. But it's more like, Oh, I can't.

I can't listen to him and have my eyes open at the same time. This is just too much. This is just no.

Okay. And you might find yourself just starting to get relaxed. And even if you feel more relaxed than you did before you started watching or listening to me, then that's a good result, isn't it? Right.

I mean, I know that it says, let me bore you to sleep, the title, but it is also, let me bore you into relaxation. Let you let me bore you relaxed. And some might say, you know, my answer to that is what? What did you say? Oh, my.

I mean, some people might say, well, what's relaxation got to do with sleeping? 99%. That's all it's got to do. 99, probably at least maybe 98.

99, I'd say percent of falling asleep is relaxing. The whole process to fall asleep is relaxing. And I don't think that I don't think everyone respects that or even acknowledges that.

I know I didn't used to. I mean, I've years. So quite often in the past, I've been lying in bed, almost tapping my feet or tapping against the wall with my hands.

Impatient. Why aren't I asleep yet? Go to sleep. I want to go to sleep now.

Doesn't work like that. It doesn't. I mean, maybe some people can work like that.

So, you know, I'm not going to say no one's ever done that. And it's I'm sure it has worked for some people. But I would bet I would bet you £10.99 UK currency, which is worth very little around the world right now.

That the majority of people would not react positively to that kind of self. It's not cruelty, is it? It's just it's it's not nice. It's not nice.

It's not a nice way to talk to yourself. Like, go to sleep. I want to go to sleep.

Get to sleep now. You wouldn't say that to a small child, would you? If you had a little boy, maybe some people would. That's the problem.

Maybe some people don't. Because I realise with some humans is. Some people are so dumb.

Highly intelligent in other ways, but so dumb in other ways, where they'll actually have an argument with a small child. So they have an argument with like a four year old. So the four year old will have a tantrum and the adult will have a tantrum.

Not realising the four year old is supposed to have a tantrum. That's normal, because a four year old cannot understand or deal with their emotions. They don't have the mental capacity to do so at that point in their life.

An adult does. So to have an argument is like having an argument with a dog or with a ferret. I should know I used to have a little ferret called Andre.

Or to have an argument with a cat. It's well, apart from being pathetic, it is. It's like, don't judge me.

No, it is pathetic. You have to accept that as a fact. Don't argue with a tiny child.

Don't argue with an animal. You can't. Try and reason with a hungry bear or a hungry lion.

Sit in a cage with them. Try and reason with them. Try to explain to them that if they just wait for two hours, when the person can let you out, you'll be able to get them some food.

It's got to wait for two hours. They haven't got to eat you, haven't got to hurt you. It's two hours.

See how you get on with that. With that lion that hasn't eaten for three days. I don't know why there'd be a lion that hasn't eaten for three days, but you know, as a scenario, it's a bit of a weird scenario.

But the lion should understand me. Why? Why? Why would a three year old understand? Complicated. Cognitive.

Reasoning. It's not going to happen. They don't have the physical, their brain is not physically developed.

It's not about being intelligent. Their brain is not physically developed to handle that. So yeah, when I say would you say that to a small child, I'd like to think that if you would say that to a small child, turn this off now, please.

Don't ever listen to my recordings. If you're horrible to children, just go away. So that's what all animals just just go away.

Go, go, go, go, go, go away. Ain't interested in those people unless you're going to change. You have to change.

And I know how easy it is to get angry with an animal. Blimey, do I ever. And children are so annoying.

But you've got to remember, they can be annoying. But you've got to remember, a small child is a small child. It's just they're not proper humans yet.

They are, but they're not, you know, not brain wise. They're not proper humans. That sounds awful, isn't it? You know what I mean? They're lovely humans, but they're just to have an argument.

And isn't it weird how you see an adult have a tantrum and you see a small child have a tantrum and it's pretty much the same thing. The only difference is. You get to see, especially if you see an adult have a tantrum and the complete venom that comes out of their mouth and the contortion face and hatred that comes through their face and their expression, their physical, the words they're using.

Because a three year old can't or two and a half year old can't express that verbally. You can see like that child wants to hurt you. That child is not, he's having a tantrum or she's having a tantrum.

But they're not just like trying to get their own way. They really want to destroy the entire planet. If they could get hold of nuclear weapons, they would let them off.

You know, they're really, there's a lot of hatred and venom and everything there, but they don't understand it because they're tiny little children. Like an adult to have a tantrum and not understand what's going on. That's just, it's a little bit sad, isn't it? To have not, to have such little self-awareness, to not be able to understand that you're having a tantrum.

And this isn't real. You know, this, this, these feelings are not real. This is an exaggerated, this is just, what is the point? What are you gaining from this? What's this got to do with falling asleep? I don't know.

I just, I just, I'd like anyone, you know, I like to think that people, you know, if I say, would you say that to a small child, which is something I've been saying to people for a long, long time, over a decade, I've been making videos, 16 years, 17 years, I don't know. And I've just been saying to people, you know, as an example, would you say that to a small child when referring to self-talk, saying horrible things to ourselves, you know? Would you say that to a small child as an example of, well, you wouldn't, would you?

You wouldn't walk up to your small child or your nephew, niece, grandchild, or some random four-year-old in the street and just start hurling negative abuse at them, verbally, telling them you're this, you're that, you're useless, blah, blah, blah. You know, the kind of stuff that we say to ourselves sometimes.

That was the point. But then I realized, like, how many people would do that? How many people would be like that with their own children? Or their grandchildren, or with children they don't know? It's like, oh, and then sometimes I have to kind of take a step back and think, oh, I don't like that. So I have to believe, whether it's true, or whether I'm just making it up, or whether it's just, you know, lying to myself, that the majority, or that everyone, in fact, is gentle with children, kind with children and with animals.

But all children and all animals are treated well. I have to believe that. I know it's not true, but I have to believe it in order for me to use that analogy of, would you say that to a small child? And then I have to move forward.

How else can I change that? Then I have to believe that anyone watching my videos, or listening to my audios, are decent people. People that wouldn't hurt a child or hurt an animal, or hurt a human being. It doesn't matter how old.

A human being, there's no difference if they're two months old, two days old, 100 years old, 30 years old. What's the difference? It's a human being, just like an animal. It doesn't matter if the animal is 10 years old.

No, an animal doesn't matter what age. What about cows? No, cows are fine because burgers taste nice. Yeah, so, other than cows.

And chicken. That's the vegetarians gone. I don't know, the vegans might stick around because I'm not sure they know what they want.

They're a bit flippy floppy, I find. I'm joking. I've met some of the most angriest vegans in the world, in the past.

Really, just got to have something to be angry about. And I've got a friend, and she actually, she pickets outside shops, like with placards and stuff like that. And she picketed outside the Heart Foundation shop.

It's a few years ago. Outside the Heart Foundation shop, which is like a second hand, just a crappy shop that sells crap, other people's stuff that they don't want. And then they sell it on.

It's not only that, they've got sofas and stuff, which is quite good. But you know, it's a second hand shop, basically. Or flea market, I don't know, whatever you call it in other countries.

But it's a charity shop to raise money for heart research. And my friend was picket. Well, she said, Oh, what are you doing tomorrow? So she said, Oh, I'll be picketing outside the Heart Foundation charity shops in town.

I said, Okay. Why is that? And she said, Oh, because they, they, they experiment on animals. They've experimented on animals.

So okay, okay. Right, okay. So how's your dad doing then? So what do you mean? He said, Well, since his, since his heart operation, you know, since he had that thing put into his heart to keep him alive.

He said, Oh, he's doing all right. I said, How do you think that the Heart Foundation, the, the heart research managed to develop such a, such a life saving instrument to save your dad's life, save it, not just, I mean, you know, he wouldn't be around if it wasn't for this thing that they put into his chest. And even that wasn't enough to even budge that limited one track thought that she had, even though the Heart Foundation, which is connected, it raises money for research, heart research or whatever, saved her dad's life.

Her dad's still alive, saved her dad's life, possibly is going to save her life in the future. Maybe mine, you know, so it's just, yeah, she'll pick it outside, give these and most people that work in these shops, these foundations, these charity shops are volunteers that don't even get paid. They're volunteers.

And they've got to put up with crap from assholes standing outside, hurling abuse at them, and they're not even getting paid. They're just doing a charity to try and maybe they've been ill and they're trying to get back into work, or they're trying to give something back to society, or they're just, you know, that's the only chance they get to be around other humans. You know, for whatever reason, someone works and volunteers, they don't deserve to have a bunch of people outside, potentially like chucking paint over them or just hurling verbal abuse.

This is a bit heavy, Jason. I thought this was going to be like light hearted. It's only about falling asleep.

Can't you just chill out a bit? Okay, I will. I'll stop. I'll stop.

I'll, I'm a little soapbox today for some reason. I don't know why. I apologize.

Okay, I'll start. I'll talk about me Willie for a bit. So I went to the doctor and I said, is it supposed to be that size? And he said, well, I've seen a few thousand over the years, but it is the smallest I've ever seen.

I said, no, I mean, that big. Is it supposed to be that big? And he started laughing. He said, no, it's not a big at all.

It's tiny. We call that micro penis syndrome. And I said, oh, I said, I'm a bit embarrassed.

He said, it's okay. As long as you don't ever meet any women and you don't tell anyone about it, no one's going to know. Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned it on this podcast.

So Saturday, what's going on in the news today? We've got a new, oh, here's something that I always saw on the news this morning. The bank of England, like they said, any 50 pound or 20 pound notes are no longer legal currency after Friday, which is yesterday. Well, thanks for telling me the day after.

So I'm thinking, oh, I've got, I've got a little bit of cash still in my wallet. So does that mean, does that mean, does that mean I can't use it? So I go online because it's not making sense. It turns out that it's the old currency, the, the one that wasn't plastic because we've got new plastic notes that's been around for a while now, but they're talking about old paper notes, but they didn't say that.

It just said old notes and they showed it and they look the same. Well, I haven't seen a 50 pound note for quite a while, I'll be honest with you, but the 20 pound notes looked the same as the ones I've got, but they're not, they don't feel the same. So very, very vague about what they were saying, but basically saying you can't use them now because they've run down and you can't use them.

So they're not valid in shops. I was like, okay, but why didn't you tell me last week? And I watch the news every day. I don't, it's not because I'm excited by the news, but I kind of sometimes feel like there's a countdown going on and I just want to see what number we're at.

And I just have a little bit of notice before we get to five so I can kind of make plans for the next four numbers going down. And I don't know why they didn't mention it. Because apparently there's something like 50 billion pounds in the UK, cash, old, that old cash paper, you know, not the new, new currency, the plastic ones.

I don't know if it's plastic, there's a specific material that doesn't, you can't, you can't rip it unless you're used to ripping. I'm sure the person that can rip through phone books could rip it. But then phone books don't exist anymore, do they? I don't think they might do in your country, but in my country, phone books, I think they're gone.

Phone boxes pretty much gone. Do you know what's in a phone box now around the corner from me? A heart fibrillator. Serious.

So the phone box is still there. The same, you know, not red one, it's just like a glass glass thingy. But it's a heart defibrillator or defibrillator, whatever that is.

Okay. My question is, why don't they just have phone boxes where you could phone emergency services, just have those dotted around and banging the microphone now. I know that a lot of people like to urinate in them.

So maybe have it connected to the sewers. So have a little urinal so people can go to the toilet. Because I'll admit, you know, sometimes in the past, I sit there and I'll be on the phone, I talk on the phone.

And sometimes I did want to quite have a look. It's not that I wanted to go to the toilet, but I just felt like it seemed like the right thing to do to urinate against the wall of the toilet. I just had that urge.

So it wasn't that I needed to go. It's like a shop window, you know, it's like anyone, you know, like a shop doorway. We'll be walking home, we've been out.

You know, you can last until you get home. But you see a shop window or a shop doorway. It just looks so lonely without your urine dripping down.

So you got to go in it. It's just, it just feels like the right thing to do. It feels like, almost like you're contributing towards the well being of the building.

Maybe. What am I talking about? Itchy earlobe. So I've got no idea.

I'm just rabbiting on about now. How did I get to that? Oh, yeah, five boxes on in one. Oh, man, I remember.

Oh, yeah. News. Let's have a look at the news.

News. News mixed. I don't care about news mix.

I don't even know what that is. Go away. Latest news.

Thousands. Wow. Off you pop.

Oh, I saw something funny. I got to read this to you. I got to read this to you.

Got to read it to you. I got to. I can't help it.

I saw this yesterday. I don't know if it's still going to be on there. Essex pervert tried to make a 13.

No, that's not the one. Obviously, it's not the one. Where is it? Essex revealed why you met? Oh, yeah.

Let's read this one and make sure I don't know the person. I know. Right.

This is about Jimmy Carr. He's a comedian. Jimmy Carr.

And he's a good one. It's not it's not a nice story, but it's a nice result. This woman, she made a series of fake.

Claims of being attacked by men and which led to 60 investigations, and she's now been imprisoned for five and a half years. Yay. I say maybe forever should be forever.

Is that harsh? Who cares? I've seen first hand. Both sides of that situation and there's no you know, someone has been accused of something like that is just. And then I don't know about what it's like in other countries, but here they they don't give you address, but they will give you a road.

They'll give you a full name where you live, like the road and the town. So and then they saw, yeah, the person's been released into the court, the court, the court date in a month's time. So it's been a bit of arrested him for this.

He's been accused of this. He's been arrested, but he's coming back. In a month's time.

And this is his name. They might even show a picture. I don't generally show a picture, but they show they give the name and then they'll show you, you know, they'll write down the road where the person lives and the town.

I mean, it's if you live in a small town, you're never going to live that down. There is. I want to talk about this.

I used to live in this tiny little crappy town when I was younger, and it was really. It's nothing wrong with the town. It was the people.

It was there was a real tiny minds, like really tiny minds. And some of them were lovely. And some of them just.

It's it's almost like they. They only used a part of their brains and never and never like. Never read a book, never learn anything new, just kind of stuck to that and then just took what other people said locally.

That was their knowledge base, because obviously now we can cut through the bullshit because we can go online and find out whether it's true or not, at least get an idea, a bit of fact checking. But back in the old days, you know, 30, 40 years ago, people would tell each other stuff that was complete lies, but a lot of them didn't know it was lies because they were just passing on the crap from one person to another. And they believed what they were being told.

And it go on for generations. Oh, you know, just this absolute rubbish would just be moved and poor, you know, and then stuff about famous people started, someone would say one thing and then they just, oh, OK, and just share it to someone else. No fact checking, no nothing.

And that's when I realized that that's just. I want to know what's real, I want to know what's true. I don't want to just listen to made up stuff like this is a lot of what I do is made up.

It's just rubbish. It's just it's just just silliness, you know. But when it comes to someone tells you something, I want to know it's true.

And I told someone something recently and it was a lie. There wasn't a lie. It was false.

And I didn't realize it was false because it's something that I've believed for a long time. I researched it, I thought, because I like to fact check my own thoughts and my own memories. And I said to my friend, look.

Because this was about an actor who used to be in Home and Away, who's now a big Hollywood actor. But it turns out he wasn't in Home and Away. He was in Neighbors for about six episodes.

He wasn't a big star in the soap. You know, he came and went without really much of a, you know, he made a bit of a splash, but he wasn't wasn't remembered. He wasn't in it long enough.

And then he went on to have a career and he still is in Hollywood, still big star. And Home and Away, this Australian soap and Neighbors, again, Australian soap, they've produced a lot of Hollywood stars. A lot of Hollywood stars came from there, including Thor, as an example, Guy Pearce, among others, Jason Donovan, although he's not necessarily a Hollywood star, but Kylie Minogue.

So I was just remembering that video where she had those tight pants on. So I, I, I got it wrong. I got it wrong.

My memory of the character was correct. My memory of how he looked was correct. And it's weird because he does, I went online, looked at the picture of the character.

And he did look a little bit like this actor. But I think, you know, it was the, it wasn't him. Anyway, definitely wasn't him.

And it was the actor, his name's gone out of my head. He played Gladiator. I am husband of a murdered child, wife of a murdered son.

I am Gladiator. That's my impression of him. And I like his films.

He's been in a lot of things. He plays Zeus in the latest Thor film. I'm going to watch that again today, I think.

Yeah, I am. So I don't know. So I got it wrong.

I researched it, fact checked it for myself, because I basically was being a bullshitter. And I thought, oh, I don't like that. I like it when I'm doing these things, because I can lie and it doesn't matter.

No one imports listening. It's not like a real conversation, you know. But the fact that I'd said this to my friend, and he's probably saying it to other people, because perhaps, you know, might be bored one day and just decide to tell this little nugget of, which is mildly interesting from a celebrity perspective.

It's a mildly interesting thing, talking about a famous Hollywood star used to be in this show. And, you know, but I had to correct it. And I said, look, I apologise.

I absolutely told you falsehood. Didn't mean to. I really believed it.

But I researched it, did some fact checking. And it wasn't true. It wasn't true at all.

And he said, oh, I don't care. So it was a bit pointless, a bit of a pointless conversation. He wasn't interested.

I don't know why I bothered. Why? Why did I bother? Anyone? Do you know? Tell me. Answer me.

I'm going to drink. So things are coming to a change now. I've cancelled most of my streaming things.

So I'll read it out to you. What have I done? Where is it? That's not the one. This is the one.

Yesterday. So I got some stuff that I stream. And so I cancelled, cancelled a lot of stuff.

Britbox cancelled. Now TV. Cancelled.

Now movies. Cancelled. Prime Amazon cancelled.

Paramount cancelled. YouTube cancelled. So I was paying to have YouTube about the adverts.

So that's now gone. Although some of these finish, they don't finish straight away. Spotify cancelled.

Disney Plus cancelled. The Zone cancelled. Which is like a boxing app, but it's not.

It's a sports app, but it was boxing. And now they've started introducing all kinds of other sports, which I do not want on my telly. I do not want them on my television.

And I got it because it was supposed to be the home of sports. The home of boxing, rather. The hub of boxing.

And sometimes there's no boxing on. There's no boxing on tonight. And I think next week there's boxing on, but I've got to pay pay-per-view.

And it's costing $7.99 a month to actually have the app. So I'm not a big fan of theirs anymore. They were good at one point.

They had loads of stuff on there when it was just boxing. Loads of stuff. But now it's all gone downhill.

And they're wanting people to pay for stuff. And I'm not. If I'm paying for the app all year round, so I'm paying.

So what's that? £8 times by 12. So that's what a hundred quid a month, a hundred quid a year, let's say roughly. So, or £96 a year.

Why charge me more on top of that to watch boxing when that's what I'm. It's what I've got the app for, boxing. I mean, I, I deserve a medal.

They used me as a tester to test the app out for the first year when it was in beta mode. So I admit that, okay, I didn't pay anything for that first year or however long it took, but there's only a handful of us, maybe a few thousand that were on their system and they tested it out to see if it worked okay. And if the, the, you know, to do all that.

So, you know, and I had to give feedback once a week or something like that. And that's what tell them how it was and how the broadcast went. And, you know, just gave a bit of feedback, which helped them.

So I'm invaluable to them. I basically I'm gold. That's what I think.

I should get it free. BT sports app got rid of that. That was a kerfuffle Lionsgate, which didn't even know what it was.

It's it's changed his name for something else got rid of that. Kindle unlimited got rid of that. Audible, I paused Audible until the first third of January 2023.

Now TV boost got rid of that. And the ones of the things are left is the things that I need. So Spreaker it's £105.34 a month.

And that's what gives me the podcast. The podcast hosting so that I can upload podcast episodes. So that's £105.34 a month.

Shopify, which is where I keep my website as £25.95 a month. And then the orphonic, which is what I do the editing, not not the editing, but the processing of the recordings. I use that to process the recordings to make them louder and to kind of sort out the sound.

That's another £86.38 a month. So just for those three, things is to how much is it? Where's my phone? It's over there. It's been used.

Brilliant. What's over two grand a year? 2000 200 2000 was it 105 185 180 under 191. All right.

186 191 201 211 217. So 217 pound a month times by 2020 times by 12. So 200 and was it 17 times by 10 is 2170.

Plus another 20024624. So 2500 a month or something, isn't it? No, it's not that much. Really? No.

No, it's blimey. No. Yeah.

That is 121. I need to get a calculator. Just like this need a car.

I used to have a calculator, but I don't at the moment. 25. Oh, I've got I've got a calculator on here.

I have an eye. Blimey. Why don't I just use that then? I forget.

I use a calculator on the phone, but I forget that the app on the iPad is just identical to the phone, isn't it? Hey, hey. Well, it should be. Where's the calculator then? Where is it? I've not removed it.

I would never remove the calculator ever. So I know how much I rely on such things. It's not there.

Why is it not there? Where is it? It's not here. This is ridiculous. This is really never been so angry.

I chucked this thing in the bin. Ridiculous. Why? How could it not have? How could it? How could it not have the most basic things? Most basic, simple things like a calculator? Oh, there it is.

For some reason, it has to be uploaded. It's there. It's on the screen, but it's just there it is.

I knew it was there. I don't know why. Why would anyone get upset over such a thing? Come on.

OK, there we go. Calculator. Why is that? Why is it got calculated? Oh, no.

OK. What? Snap a picture. Solve your mail.

So snap a picture. Solve your math. Well, it's not math.

It's maths to start with. So I don't know why. I want to M.A.T.H. is M.A.T.H.S. Blimey.

You think someone who's had an app, they spell it correctly, wouldn't you? Three days, then four fifty five forty nine a month. Not five. What? Get all math solving features and step by step answers.

Calculate fractions and currencies. Add three. Three days free, then five pound forty nine a week.

Why would anyone pay five pound forty nine a week for a calculator? Why? That doesn't even make sense. Mind you, now they're chucking adverts everywhere. So what is it to twenty five ninety five twenty twenty five ninety five plus.

Eight six thirty eight. Eight six thirty eight plus one oh five thirty four one oh five thirty four equals two hundred and seventeen pounds. Sixty seven times by 12 equals 2000.

Wow. Two thousand six hundred and twelve pounds and four pence a year. That's how much it's costing me to run this free service just for those three little things that I use.

Two thousand six hundred twelve pounds and four pence. That's about all the other stuff that I you know. Wow.

And then add on to that. Sixty pounds. OK, right.

So you got internet. There's two internets. There's a phone and then there's the internet broadband, two of which I use for this stuff.

So that's another 60 pounds, a 60 pound times by 12 equals 720. So. Seven hundred.

Oh, really? If.

Plus six plus one of your tits, 34 equals plus 60 plus another 60 equals 277 times by 12 so it's 3332 pound and 4 pence that's how much I'm spending to run the podcast free service and I'll stop the adverts as well what am I gonna do I don't know that's why I've got rid of all the streaming stuff so I'm gonna have to be very careful just for the next year I want to see if there's possible if it's possible to turn this stuff that I do into into potentially you know you know depend

the prophecy upon nuclear Holocaust but apart from hopefully if that doesn't happen I was wondering if there's a chance that I could earn a living doing this and I don't necessarily mean videos but you know the podcasts you know the podcasts are going quite well really the YouTube video I mean I'm getting tiny amounts of YouTube views at the moment and that's fine I don't mind that because you know I don't have a large audience on YouTube at the moment I've got 654 I think YouTube subscribers and out of that 654 I get I can

tell you actually see I don't hide stuff I'll be honest I'll be very honest with you the last one two three the last three videos I made and they're all five days ago so I've not done anything for five days 176 drifting it's relaxing sleep hypnosis daily 14 views so the ASMR number hundred number 453 deep sleep whisper hypnosis let it go 20 views and the most recent one was number 895 let me boy to sleep kids books and I've had 18 views now that's where did I I haven't so this this is number 898

let me boy to sleep so stats wise yesterday I had this is my podcast I had 12,684 downloads which is yesterday the last 30 days I've had 241,614 downloads 28% less than previous month but I didn't make any recordings for the first part of the month really it's I came back on the 12th so yes pretty much for the first 12 days of September I didn't make any recordings any new recordings so I was getting six five thousand a day and then when I came back on the 15th I made started making new recordings I'd

just done under 11,000 then I didn't I didn't make any recordings for a few days and then I started making recordings again so it's been like 12,000 one was just over 10,000 but it varies 13,000 yesterday just under 12,000 so it's okay it's not like it's not millions or anything it's millions through the year so the last this current if we go this year this year so far this year so far I've had 4,020,887 downloads this is since January 2022 now the last 12 months I've had 6,366,537 535 it's a current month current month 5,250

I just remembered it's today is the first of October so last month 242,889 what was the month before that August I probably didn't get many in August you know being a oh yes I did what what that's weird so August 362,000 downloads so ah so before I went away blimey what was I doing before I went away because I was getting a lot more downloads 2nd of August 18,000 18 and a half thousand 10th of August 18 just over 18,000 I was doing something that was clearly better than now that's weird what was I doing

it was getting me so many more I don't know I'm gonna have to have a look what was I doing August I have to check that out and then it went right down so yeah because I yeah I wasn't around for a bit yeah that's strange okay maybe that's maybe that's not maybe that's not abnormal let me have a look what's July let's have a look at July August July July oh it's an average month 325,000 in July June Wow 9,000 June 341,000 May 354,000 okay so September was just a slowed a slow month because

half of the month I wasn't even here so that's probably wouldn't make sense Wow I was getting worried there for a minute because 354,000 300,000 is only 10,000 a day isn't it so it's not a lot blimey I was getting worried then I'm thinking what's going on what's happened what's happened so all together and since October no I think it's November 2018 I think I've had ten million eight hundred thousand downloads so you think back that's what 2018 was in our 2022 it's grown over time and I like to think maybe maybe she's gonna be

the one that saves me I like to think that maybe I could increase my YouTube videos in the same kind of way maybe I mean to get to this level of you know over 300,000 or four million six million a year it's probably it's a little way off to be honest if I'm only getting 15 or 20 per video but it's just strange it's strange when I think of you know my most recent recording what was it if I do statistics just for today just for yesterday yesterday yesterday yeah yesterday I won't give it to

me okay on my most popular podcast yesterday why is it not showing me anything I don't understand that don't make sense statistics yesterday yesterday come on no it won't give it to me I just want to see what the most what the most popular recording was that's all what I'm gonna do why why are you making such a big deal about it what what's your problem what's your problem man okay look at my most popular podcast which is hypnosis for sleeping deeply and I've had so look statistics download statistics I've had three million and twenty

three downloads on this one podcast so if I put in yesterday right the most popular recording on that podcast was number 43 allow positive feelings this is a number 43 stress and pain relief podcast allow positive feelings 10 hour long one hundred and sixty nine so that's just on one podcast so yesterday you think that in five days just five days right okay you know I'm gonna do now don't you know you don't know five days so today's October so let's let's forget that let's just go one two three four five I had what 25

all together my YouTube I've had downloads whatever I had in last five days 28 I did it I did actually see it actually funny enough subscribers to do to do what could it tell me I've had 648 views in the last 28 days does it allow me to bring it break it down to seven days maybe no no it's not no I probably could on a laptop but not on this thing unless does it does it does it oh yeah I think it might do last let's say last seven days last seven days 289 views

289 views on YouTube in last seven days and on my podcasts so if we go back we go back that that that that that let's say just last seven days in fact if we go 71,107 71,137 so you see there's a little bit of a difference what was the other one it was 28 oh man it's embarrassing in it really I used to be I'm not saying I used to be popular on YouTube but I used to have an audience I did I did generally genuinely used to have a an audience on YouTube and I'm

not sure what happened something happened I don't know what though not under percent sure what happened oh yeah I do know what happened I deleted the I deleted the channel it was going really well it was going so well every day more more subscribers more more views it's just growing and growing and growing like really exponentially and like yeah the best it ever been and then I just deleted the channel I was having a bit of an off day you could say and deleted the channel didn't just delete the videos I could have put the

videos back up you know people could have continued listening so I would have lost the views but at least the videos would be back up for people to watch no I deleted channel completely so I lost all the subscribers and I tried to kind of come back a couple of times but it just never I don't think my heart was in it after that because I just ruined such a good thing and I started to get more my YouTube channel started in 2007 my original one and it took me until 2011 before I started getting

views like proper you know started getting more views when it started to grow and then 2011 2012 and 2013 and I think it was 2013 that I deleted it well it might be in 2012 I'm not sure but yeah 2013 maybe and I deleted it and so for a year and a half two years it was going really well and it was growing continuously and I didn't have huge huge numbers at all and I'm pretty sure my last month was about 45,000 video views which I know is not a lot but to me it was

a lot because the month before that I had like 30,000 or 33,000 then I went to 45,000 the subscribers I was getting 20 30 40 a day added on every day to get growing and growing and it was just phenomenal to watch really because I used to keep on my wall I actually had every day how many subscribers and I used to write it down and how many video views and stuff it's getting loads of positive comments and yeah I destroyed it all kind of but then I was making podcasts as well and that was

going okay but I wasn't it was like the opposite I think I was getting probably about 100 150,000 downloads of my podcast every year sometimes a couple hundred thousand so you know it was it was a smaller level of people listening to my podcast than watching the videos and then I put all my effort into the podcasts especially from what I was still was doing the podcast and the videos all the way through since 2006 I started really focusing in 2000 about 2017 2015 16 17 started focusing on the podcasts like in a quite much

bigger way and trying out different podcast hosts and ended up using SoundCloud but also testing out a lot of other ones as well SoundCloud I think the last I got about two hundred and two hundred and forty thousand downloads in the last year that I did with them and then I moved over to Spreaker and then I moved away from Spreaker then I moved back to Spreaker and I was just I was experimenting really trying out different places different you know different ways of doing it and then I settled with Spreaker in November 2018 and

I never really looked back apart from when I do look back and and of course I want to see what's behind me and I just thought wow everything just grew it took ages you know it because you know hundred two hundred thousand downloads a year what is that ten thousand a month no fifteen thousand a month something like that so that was a lot like you know that was to me that's a wow and then to get 30,000 a month and to get you know even to get I remember when I got my first thousand

in a day I was so excited you know because I was getting 400 700 200 you know it's varying but to get a hundred that's three thousand a month it's three thousand a month and no it's not three thousand a day it's thirty thousand a month sorry thirty thousand which is three hundred and sixty thousand a year which is phenomenal for me at the time it's like wow so I remember when I I was happy getting four or five hundred a day because it was still growing it's always continuously growing and I didn't have as

many podcasts at that time and they definitely weren't as popular you know it took me a while to gain the audience and then I don't know what happened but it went over the thousand and I was happy a thousand a day Wow if I could get 2,000 downloads a day I'd be so man and that happened and then gradually over time like 3,000 a day that's 10,000 a month is that right three three three six nine it's nearly 10,000 a month 3,000 a day that's a hundred and three thousand thirty no blimey 3,000 a day

is nearly a hundred thousand that's it I keep forgetting the zeros it's nearly a hundred thousand a month and that was phenomenal then I thought I wonder if I can get a hundred that gives me a million a year I remember the first time I hit a million in a year is like wow remember when I first hit a million is like whoa that was like whoa this is good it's very happy and then I wanted to reach 10,000 in a day and I remember this is years ago thinking my house my target and it

took me another two and a half years to reach that target maybe three years to reach that target of 10,000 downloads a day I just I could get near it and occasionally I've got above it but I never got that consistency so you know I'd have a 18,000 day one day you know and then back down to 8,000 and it's like I wanted to get it over a 10,000 every every day and eventually I broke the ceiling I broke it and it went up and really really went below 10,000 unless I don't do anything if

I don't make any recordings for a little while then the stats go down to maybe 6,000 7,000 a day and that was like wow I was just so happy because and then and then in the end of the year last year or January last I don't know I had one day where I had over 40,000 downloads a couple of days I've had over 40,000 so I had a few really like busy days and that gave me a little taste of what it could be like to potentially have to support myself doing this but I would

need 40 50,000 people listening or downloads every day ideally 100,000 so I need to kind of times everything by 10 really because I'm still averaging it's more than 10,000 a day but you know 10 12 15 thousand a day it's it's nice but I need more I want more I want more no I want more so I'm gonna go so I'm hoping in the next year in the next year probably yeah 2023 all being well I'd like to what I want to do I'd like to reach I'd like to reach 50,000 downloads a day by

the end of next year I'd like to reach a hundred thousand but I'm gonna you know 50,000 still is I mean it's still a lot more than one game just trying to work out my head what's that worth so 51 51 52 52 50 it's a little doubt that's livable it's livable so you know I'm gonna just do that no adverts for a year and just see if I can build it up to the point where I got 50,000 downloads I don't know how quite I'm gonna do that other than just keep at it really

and I mean you know for those listening to this there are four different versions of this recording online there's not just me talking there's also me talking with background music there's a five-hour version and a 10-hour version and those also have background music with affirmations and relaxation things counting down and stuff you know during those five and ten hours so you know it's more more to this and just me sitting here talking not a lot more but a little bit more so I'm gonna go I might have some food yeah that's a food take care

remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy remember to be gentle with yourself lots of love bye