#872 Jackanor - Let me bore you to sleep

Hi, hi, yeah, hi. Welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name's Jason Newland and hey, how you doing? Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

So, two, two, two, two, two. I've got to start off, first of all, by saying a big thank you to Viola. Hi, Jason.

As a thank you for your efforts, buy a book of your choice. Greetings from Germany and Viola. You sent me a PayPal gift.

Well, thank you very much, Viola. That's very unexpected. You might say, well, you did ask, but I didn't, not really.

Well, I was, I was, I didn't mention that I was going to put a wish list, Amazon wish list of books on, but I haven't got around to it yet. That's very, very generous and very, very kind. So, thank you very much.

That was groovy. Literally just came now, just as I was about to start the podcast. It's been quite a good day on the podcast today for some reason.

I don't know why. I don't know why I'm surprised. I mean, you know, things are going quite well.

There's something wrong. I don't understand. I don't get it.

And there's still three hours left and I'm above, I'm above average, above normal on the day for some reason. Although I did, you know, I did make a recording recently, but I only just uploaded it about an hour ago. That's me, by the way, it's not the microphone.

Where is the microphone? What I've been doing lately is I schedule, schedule the podcasts to be released at certain times. So the, I did a, was it relax and sleep hypnosis daily podcast episode number 173, counting down to relax. Now, I did that something about quarter past six.

I was recording it about six or something. Anyway, I released or published the first episode at 17 past seven in the evening. And then I published and scheduled the next one to go out at.

That's totally wrong. It was actually the duration 1917. That's how long it lasts.

Okay. Anyway, one went out at eight. Yeah, I got that completely wrong.

845. One went out at 945. So the music, one with background music, the five hour version goes out at 1045.

So it gets published. The 10 hour version gets published at 1145. So instead of just popping them all at the same time, I give people a chance to like, yawn, yawn, yawn, yawn.

I give, give people a chance to see what's there. Because you know, if I do have a really busy day, and I make five recordings, then some of them will be missed potentially, because I've just chucked them out all at the same time. And the first ones I release may be missed because people get to see just the latest ones, even though they are still the latest ones, all released at the same time.

So I don't I try not to do that anymore. And generally give about an hour between each version of the recording. And it seems to be working out.

Okay, I think it's Yeah, I think it's possibly okay. Possibly possible. Itchy nose.

That's a nice sound, isn't it? No, I'm joking. That wasn't really Fleming. Don't drink that.

Listen. Some people really don't like that. And tough, I guess.

I can't help it. I can't help it. My ears just got weird.

You know, when your ears just go be like that. Just happened. Strange.

You know, I had vertigo. Not it's like, I had it a couple of times or three times. But I had it since October, when I went half deaf in both ears for about two, three weeks.

And they gradually got better. And you know, it was fine. But after that, I started getting vertigo.

And I had vertigo. Literally, before I went on holiday in May. Now, I don't know if flying on a long haul plane is a cure.

It's supposed to be a cure for vertigo, but it did the trick for me. Serious. Haven't had it since.

So I say long haul, I mean, each flight was six and a half hours each. So I didn't do the full 11-12 hours in one flight. It was two different flights.

Three on the way back. But it's something about, I don't know, flying at that altitude seemed to really do my ears a world of good. There may be no logical reason connecting the two.

Not the two ears, because obviously they are connected by the ear canal. But yeah, it's, I mean, it's an expensive thing, isn't it? You know, but you know what? I'm sure, I'm pretty sure a lot of people, if they could afford it, would happily spend £900 to get rid of their vertigo. If you said it's £900 and that's it, cured forever.

And then you also get a holiday at the same time. But it is quite an expensive, it's an expensive cure. And it's all in May, June, July.

It's two months, been back for two months. And I have had no vertigo at all. Weird.

And I had it the first time is when I had a perforated eardrum. When I was, when was that? 2011. So I had a perforated eardrum.

I used to wear earplugs, like, you know, the earplug, you know, that you put in your ears to block out sound. I wore those from, I think I started wearing them in, well, I know I was wearing in 2003. Definitely.

And then I weaned and I wore them all the way up. This is at night, every night. And then I weaned myself, weaned myself, I weaned myself off the bosom of ear, ear muffs, or whatever.

I weaned myself off in 2005. Because that's when I moved into the Buddhist community and I decided I didn't want to wear them anymore. Even though I was on the main road, I thought, nope, I'm just gonna have to get used to the traffic and get used to it and try and calm down and you know.

And then I moved to, yeah, I moved to a different town. And I started wearing earmuffs again, the earplugs again, in 2008, 2009, 2010. Or did I? You know what, I might not have worn them.

I probably didn't actually, I probably didn't wear them then. But I moved into a place that was, the walls were like proper thin. And yeah, I think I started wearing them then.

Anyway, I was pushing them into too far and perforated my eardrum. So that wasn't good. That was a weird sound.

Hmm, I just heard this like real weird noise and took the headphones off. I pressed the pause button first. Huh, how weird.

Na, na, na, na, na. I don't think it was anywhere at the door. I don't think so.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 21, 27, OK.

So, what's been happening today? Well tonight, literally, just before I started this recording, the two candidates, the two remaining candidates for the job of Prime Minister of this wonderful country of ours, the United Kingdom of England, Britain, Britain, and they were having a live, I don't know, questions or something, and the audience were asking them questions, or the audience gave the presenter questions or asked them something like that. I watched the beginning, and I was a little bit bothered, so I went for a walk, and then I came back and it was still on, so it was on for an hour, so I watched it for an hour, well I watched the last little bit rather, the last 10 minutes, so I was out for about 40 minutes, 45 minutes.

The thing is, it's weird because, you hear our chair squeaking.

I'm picking up more sound by having these headphones on, through the microphone, I'm picking up more than I perhaps normally would. I'm picking up background sounds, I think it's because the neighbour has moved in downstairs or something, so there's probably different sounds to what I'm normally used to. Oh well, it doesn't matter.

Unless, because the windows are open, so maybe the wind blew the curtains, it has been quite windy, quite windy, windy. That was a strange noise. I'm a bit ashamed of myself.

I feel dirty. I feel absolutely filthy. So I sent a message to Molly, who's in charge, she's the boss of the group.

I say the boss, but you know what I mean, she's the admin of the Facebook page. Let me look at the Facebook page, what's it called? What is it? Oh, I don't know. Jason Newland hypnotist group.

Now I had an idea, had an idea to do a live audio stream on that page. And I did post, I said, hi all 57 of you, there's now 58. There is someone else to join.

Yes. I hope you're all well. I'm not sure how many of you are even still listening to my podcasts.

Anyway, thank you if you are. I'm thinking of doing a live stream of my, let me bore you to sleep, podcast on here. And in brackets, I put audio.

So a few people have liked the comment, I put a little picture of me with one of my friends I met when I was away. And while I was walking around in tracksuit bottoms in that heat, I really should have been wearing shorts or something. I reckon I probably, I reckon, I think I've lost a bit of weight.

I started doing, you might not know what these are, they're leg raises. Is that where you raise your legs? Yes, that's it. So basically, I learned to do leg raises when I was, when I first started doing karate when I was about 14.

And basically lay on your back. This is when I started to do it. Laid on your back, my bum on top of my hands, palms down.

And then you just raise your legs. Keep doing it. Like, and then hold them there and then keep doing it, whatever.

So you raise them for, you know, maybe raise them up and down, up and down, whatever. 20 times, 100 times, whatever. And then it's a stop.

And it's like keeping there. And the instructor would jump on everyone's stomach. And he was like six, five, six, six, big man, adult, human.

And I was, I weigh, I was the size of an 11 year old. And it still didn't hurt. It really did.

No, it didn't. It didn't hurt because the stomach's tense. And when you do that, because we've all got muscles in our stomach, even huge, huge, huge fat people like myself, still got muscles, because without muscles, you wouldn't be able to stand up, you wouldn't be able to do anything.

You have to have muscles in your stomach. Otherwise you wouldn't be able to, it just, we've all got them. And apart from people that don't.

I think I covered myself there. So when you see someone like, and you say, oh, they're fat, they've got no muscles, it's wrong. They have got muscles, they're just very well hidden.

And they definitely do have muscles in their stomach, even though you may not be able to see the muscles. And you know what else? Big people have strong legs, because they have to. Let's face it, if you're carrying, if someone's carrying around 20 kilos more than you, day in, day out, for years and years and years, their legs are going to be stronger than yours, aren't they? They're basically weightlifting every single day.

So I know I've got strong legs, because I'm carrying around this weight. See? I sometimes wish I could just take the fat suit off though. You know, just one day, just like, I just want everyone to just show you all, take my t-shirt off, and it's like, reveal a zip, you know, at the top of where my chest is, and just undo it, take it off and just show a really muscly body.

We all need fantasies, don't we? Don't we? So I've been working on the weights, been doing a few different weights. I've not sort of just, I've been working on my chest, my shoulders, as well as my arms. And I'm going to be doing some more stuff working on my back as well.

I did some weights working on my back as well. So I'll do more of that. Because I don't want to fall into the trap that teenagers fall into.

And I did that myself when I was a teenager. And when I was young, everyone was doing it, is all they focused on was their biceps. That's all they wanted was big biceps.

So they spend a lot of time doing arm weights, you know, curls and all that stuff. Of course, they need to do weights for their arms. But the fact is, nearly all weight training involves using your arms, apart from those that don't.

I covered myself on that one. So your arms are being used. So yeah, you're doing a bench press.

Yeah, it's for your chest, it's for your back, for your shoulders. But your arms are getting worked out. You know, so the things that you do, if you do any weights for your back, for your shoulders, for your chest, for your stomach, any weights you do is going to build up your arms.

So there. So what I do is do leg raises, raises, raises, raises, I lay on my back, on my bed, on the mattress, I put my hands behind my back and hold on to the the bed board or whatever, you know, the back of the head, headboard, I was going to say near my head, the board near my head, oh, the headboard. Hold on to that.

And that gives me the, I guess it kind of gives me a little bit of a workout on my shoulders and my chest as well, because I'm holding myself down. And I raise my legs until it burns. I do that every morning, sometimes do it twice a day.

When I get to the point where it's starting to feel, when I get to the point where I can physically notice it, because at the moment I can't. I can, I can feel it a little bit when I stand up. But when I sit down, it's just, I don't know, it's like everything just like falls onto my knees.

It's just this big, flappy belly just wobbling around. And you remember Star Wars? I had no idea. Do I need to say anything else? That's what I look like, except I just haven't got Princess Leia on a leash.

Yeah, that's what I look like. Mmm, yum. So it's kind of weird.

I'm sort of wondering, because I can feel, I can feel the difference in my arms. I can feel the difference in my forearms, in my biceps, my triceps. I'm not saying that I'm muscular, I'm just saying I can feel the difference.

I can tense the muscles. And that's nice. It's quite a nice feeling.

I don't feel quite as, I've never been fat, like all over. You know, I'm fat, but I've not been fat all over. So I don't have fat feet.

I've got flat feet, I don't have fat feet. I don't have fat toes. Like, I know sometimes water retention and stuff can cause problems with feet.

I don't have that. And maybe I will one day. So, you know, I'm not, that's not a fat issue.

That's just a, just a human thing, isn't it? I don't have fat legs. And I think part of the reason for that is partly genetic. Because my dad is all upper body.

He's not all upper body, he does have legs. But if you know what I mean, he's kind of, he hasn't got little legs, he's got normal human size legs. He's probably about 5'10", 5'9".

Because he's, I don't like to say elderly, but he is, he's like, he's 25 years older than me. I'm 52 in the next month. So he's 25 years older.

What's that? 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70. I'm going to continue. 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77.

He's 77 years old. Now, I don't know why. I don't know why.

I mean, just in my mind, I see a real difference between 70 and 80. 80 seems kind of old, but 70 doesn't. 80 does, but 70 doesn't.

And when I say old, I'm not, I don't mean that rudely to anyone as 80. Because I think 80 is like the new 50 now, isn't it? 50 is the new 30. I don't know, 20 is the new 9. I mean, I don't know, how does it work? You're 15.

That's the new three months. So yeah, I just, anyway, so he's nearly 80 years old. 80.

And that seems old. And I remember that I'm old. I'm way too old to be doing stuff like this, talking absolute rubbish.

I'm like a, I'm like a child, like a, like a small child talking nonsense. I can't imagine, is there anyone, is there anyone less mature than me in the world? Is there a 51 year old in the world that is less mature than I am? It'd be hard to find. I think I'm just, just very backward.

I think that's what it is. I mean, I was in a dunce's class and everything at school, and I didn't really, I did learn some stuff, but I didn't really learn much at school. Didn't like school, had paid no attention and all that stuff.

Now, if I'd have been at school now, but in high school, or even I suppose junior school or whatever, I would have been special needs. Now, I'm not joking when I say that, it's true. I would have been special needs.

Now, my special needs didn't really come into play, not properly until I got diagnosed with bipolar. And that's kind of special needs, but it's a different kind of, it's not necessarily a learning disability. But I did have a learning disability when I was at school.

I mean, some, some would class it as laziness, but that's not a disability. It's definitely a problem for me, but I was, there was two things, two things that affected my schooling. And if I get all heavy here, I don't mean it in a heavy way.

I'm just talking factually, okay. So it's not a serious conversation. I'm just talking about my life.

I share, you know me, I share my life with you. I share more with you than I would with anyone in my life, which is weird. But I don't have these conversations with people because I guess you're a captive audience.

You're not really, cause you know, you can do what you want, but it's, I don't know. And it's nothing I haven't said before, but I might not have said it. I feel like I might need to sneeze.

No, different bodily function. So I'm going to have a drink of Coke. It reminded me I have to replace the gas to just release itself.

So I, I was behind. So my special needs was I guess mainly I was behind having been in, moving around a lot as a child, never staying in one school for long. Also being, I haven't lived in a children's home.

That was quite a disruptive environment to be in. So I used to go to school, but, and I think it was, well, it would have been a Catholic school. I'm pretty sure, not a hundred percent sure on that one, but I'm guessing it would, but then, I don't know.

I'm not really, yeah, I'm not sure actually. Yeah, we weren't hung, we weren't homeschooled. Pretty sure we went to school, but there, I was, I was just behind.

And because of that age, and also because it was the seventies, there wasn't the knowledge that there is now, or that there's been for the last couple of decades. There was very, and I don't know how to explain it, but it's just, they didn't know what they know now, but didn't seem to care. It was a different time.

The, a lot of the teachers were, I mean, most of the parents, my parents and my parents, all my friends' parents, you know, they were all kind of end of the second world war born. You know, so born in like 1946 or 1947, and I, you know what I mean? It was like really right at the end of the war, a lot of them. And then a lot of teachers were perhaps actually war age.

So they had been in the war. So there's a lot of quite hard nosed people, quite tough, quite cold, some of them, you know, they had a, had it hard. They either grew up during the war, they grew up, well it was kids during the war maybe, or teenagers, or they grew up, you know, just after the war.

And it's really the second world war, and it's a very difficult time to be grown, to be born. So they kind of didn't consider things like emotions necessarily. Where I, you know, in my environment, it was more a case of just get on with it, you know, get on with it, pull your socks up, use your loaf, get on with it, don't look back, you know.

It's, and there is some benefits in that kind of way of being, very stoic. But yeah, it has, sort of anything, there needs to be a balance, needs to be some love and kindness, just a little bit, just a little bit of love and kindness. Just a tiny little, little sprinkle, little sprinkle of magical love, a bit of gentleness, you know.

Which is kind of what I try to bring every day with these recordings, even if it's only at the end when I say be kind to yourself or be gentle with yourself. You know, whether it's listening to this or listening to the the various recordings I do, the millions of different things I do. If you lie down for 20 minutes or an hour, listening to me waffle on or listening to me whispering or making a relaxation or sleep session, you're being kind to yourself, you're giving yourself some space, giving yourself a break, some time out, you know, some rest.

So that's, you know, my little contribution, I guess. So I would have been, I think I would have been in a situation where I was told by my step mum that, because they went to parents meeting, parents evening or whatever, and this was, I was seven, I think, or eight. And I was told that I'd been evaluated, basically, you know, ended up being watched.

And I was very, very, very, very behind. And this, I was told it's almost like I learned the wrong way of doing things. Which is a bit weird.

Doing the wrong way. How can you learn the wrong way? Unless I just taught myself. And I got it wrong.

You know, it's possible. Now, the only thing I did that was, that I'm quite pleased about is reading. I learned to read.

I don't know how I learned to read. I don't know where I learned to read. It might be my brother, teaching me.

I really don't remember. It might, I mean, I don't even know what what age you learn to read. So I don't remember it.

Maybe it's one of those things no one remembers. But I do remember my first book. And it probably wasn't my first book, but it was the first book that I had, that I remember, that I remember having.

And I got it. It was a jumble sale at the children's home. And they, I think the local area people come and bring their crap and then they'd sell the crap on the silly rubbish.

And they'd sell, they'd sell stuff. I think maybe it was once a year or whenever. And I think I, I dapseyed a book I saw on one of the market stores.

I'd probably helping out, probably helping to put the stuff on the tables. And I said, oh, I like that. Can I have it? It's going to cost you 10 pence, but you don't have any money.

Why money? Eight, six, seven, whatever. Oh, you can have it then. Go in there.

Go in then, go on. So I did, took it. And it was the Giaconori book.

In fact, in fact, I'm going to find it. Where's my glasses? I don't have it. I'll find it online.

One day I'm going to do interactive stuff. Just one day. Giaconori, Giaconori book, 1970s.

So let's have a look. Giaconori, Giaconori, Giaco, Giaco, Giaconori. Is that the one? If I look at the images, I should find it.

Giaconori stories. Mein Kampf, what? No, what is, no, what is that?

Giaconori, Mein, That's a joke surely, Jackanory read by Eileen Stritch, Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler, no way is that a real book, no, no it can't be real, that can't be real, it can't be, it can't be, no, that's got to be a lie, no, Mein Kampf, why, no, okay they explained Jackanory was a TV show for kids and they'd read a story, they'd read a story, so it's got Mein Kampf, that must be a joke, it's got BBC available for more good bookstores, bookstops, that's a joke, it's not real, it can't be real, no

it can't be, no, I can't see the one that I had, I can't see it, wow, no, but I do remember the story, and this Jackanory story is from Norway, I thought I'd recognise the picture if I saw it, Jackanory, Jackanory, Jackanory stories, the peddler of Swatham, no, is it that one, that's the one, that's the one, I think it's this one, it was, right, wow, published in 19, oh okay, first published 1968, 1958, 1958, or 1968, it's hard to tell, reprised 1969, 1972, then 1975, yeah, these are the contents, Jack the Giant Killer, Lucky

Jack, Prince Jack, Lazy Jack, Jack and the Beanstalk, that was the one, and on the inside, I'll tell you a story about Jackanory, and now the story's begun, I'll tell you another about Jack and his brother, and now my story's done, see, I'll tell you a story about Jackanory, wow, so Jackanory, Jack, it's a Jack, I'm going to have to buy that book, mind you, I'm going to get this a bit teary just looking at it, that is my first ever book, and I used to read it over and over again, I'll be honest, I'm

not sure if I could read before I got it, I probably could, but I kind of had this feeling that I used it to learn to read, or I used it to at least improve my reading, just had this really vague memory of things coming together whilst looking at the book, looking at it and not really understanding what I was looking at, you know that feeling when you first get into a relationship with someone, you're looking at them and thinking I've got no idea what's going on here, I'm really not sure if I'm reading the

signals correctly, Jack, oh, wow, big girl, right I'm going to have to get it, but I'm not getting it from there, I want to get it from, oh it's on eBay, maybe I will, eBay's fine, wow, anyway, and I just remember that book, and it was the only book I had, and back then we didn't have toys, oh, please sir, can I have some more, Jason the orphan, orphan JJ, no, it wasn't, how it worked is toys would get donated to the children's home, and then we would just share the toys basically, so there'd be

a room and the toys would be in there, I mean I don't recall ever having anything of my own at that time, because in our beds, we had a bed and a little kind of side cabinet and a wardrobe and that was it, and it was a dormitory, there was dormitories and we all lived together, the boys and the girls were separate and I guess the older boys were separate and stuff, and at the end of the room there was the bathrooms or the toilets, but in my memory they were just toilets and the sinks

were in the middle, the sinks were in the middle, so everyone had to go and wash themselves or brush their teeth or whatever, I think, and then there was toilets, but the bath was, that was in a different place, it was further up, we used to have a bath on, I think it was a Sunday night, we'd have bath time, but it wasn't the nuns that would do it, it was the assistants, I guess care workers, care assistants, and they were distinguishable because for two things, first of all they were just dressed normally and some

of them were nice, so they were kind of different, and I think quite a few young people there as well, obviously not compared to me, but I think they had people working there in their teens, like late teens, maybe people doing part-time work, voluntary work, I don't know, so I used to have baths on a Sunday, I think that was it, and I don't know what happened the rest of the week, I can't remember, I can't remember, so this year, do not remember, do not recall, do not recall that, no, I really don't, I'll tell

you one thing I used to love doing though, is I used to love it when we had the, what was it, the, like we'd go out to, because we're in Southend and Southend used to be, I don't know how much it is now, but it used to be a seaside resort, I mean like really popular, people from London would come to Southend because it wasn't far to travel, but it was out of London and they'd stay in a hostel or a bed and breakfast or hotel or whatever, and in the pier, which is the longest

pier in the world, it was at one point I think, they had, they might still have a theatre, like a pier pavilion, big old theatre, and we used to go, and I'm guessing we probably got in three, and we used to go and watch shows, like I think Christmas, we'd see the, you know, Cinderella and Jack and the Beanstalk and all that kind of stuff, but also see stuff during the, because I remember I saw, I think Black Swan I think, or yeah, I'm pretty sure, like skating on ice, ballet, I've seen ballet, and I

think the thing that I liked about it is, first of all, it was up quite high, and so we could kind of really see the stage, but what we got to see was, it's not just what you see, it's the lighting, the music, and I remember just the music was so beautiful, and then the, like the music and the dancing, now I'm not into, not really into that kind of stuff, but when you actually see it, it is pretty magical, the way it's, you know, comes together, I'm not, I've really got no interest in ballet,

but I've been to ballet shows, like when I was a kid, and it was phenomenal, it's weird to explain, I can't watch it on telly, well I can if I want to, I'm not banned, but yeah, it doesn't interest me, but I've seen it in person, and it is pretty phenomenal, and also like stage shows, plays, again I don't really like watching them necessarily on telly, but been to a few over the years, not recently, and I don't really like being out, yeah, I don't, I'd like to go to see a stage show, like a

play, but when there was no one in the, there's just me in the theatre watching it, or if I was upstairs, and there was no one around, but everyone was downstairs, then I could watch it from the balcony, and you know, something like that, I could, I could enjoy it, or if it was like a musical, like Cats, never seen any of those stuff, Phantom of the Opera, I've seen them all, on TV and stuff, movies, never seen them in real life, or even Grease, I've seen the movie, many times, and I think I've even

seen a stage show on telly, never seen a stage show in real life, I don't think, I think Shane, Shane, Shane, Blimey, what's his, what's his surname, anyway, Shane, comedian, Shane, he was in EastEnders, Shane, I don't want to keep him Shane McGowan, it's not Shane McGowan, because that's the Pogues, Shane McGregor, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, wow, Shane something, anyway, he was brilliant at Danny, like in the stage show, absolutely, he turned it into a, he turned it into a sing-along, kind of a bit like, I guess, the

Rocky Horror Picture Show, where it's an occasion in itself, it's bigger than just the musical, it's an event, and Shane Ritchie, Shane Ritchie, that's it, he turned, I'm not saying that no one else did, but he did, he did that, he really big, he turned it into something a lot bigger than what it was, not bigger than the original, not bigger than the original movie, of course, but he, you know, you could argue, well actually John Travolta was the best one, and yeah, no one can beat John Travolta, because he is Danny, and Olivia Newton-John

is Sandy.

So, you know, I think no one can argue on that one, but Shane Ritchie, it was, that was his, probably, he might argue, but it's possibly one of his best roles that he played, because he's, he really, he made it probably the most enjoyable show to go and watch.

Now this is just based on hearsay, this is based on what I've heard and what I've seen, well, not with my own eyes, but people absolutely, absolutely loved him in that show. They would buy, buy tickets so far ahead in time, that he realised that he was going to have to quit, because he was going to be 90 soon, and that's not true, it's not true. He was also in EastEnders, so I think he'd probably be remembered more for the EastEnders role, because, just because of the pure audience size, and he was in EastEnders for quite a long time, as... I should remember his name character, because it's the same name as my nephew, but I've forgotten, I've forgotten the name.

What's his name? Ollie? Not Ollie. Boris? No. Harold? No.

It's like a, it's like a shortened version of a real name. You know, like people now call their kids Harry. Now people used to call people Harry, but their real name was Harold.

Like no one in the, in the like the 1950s, no one called their child Eddie. They'd call him Edward, but then, you know, that would be his actual name, then they'd call him Eddie, but no one actually put on a birth certificate Eddie. They wouldn't put Harry on the birth certificate, it'd be Harold.

Or, you know, so, but these days people don't live by those rules. Oh, you damn young'uns. What was his name? Not Harold.

Not Henry. John was a weird way, a weird one, isn't it? So you've got John, he'd be Johnny, but then Jonathan usually is the proper name, but then some people would call John J-O-H-N, some people called John J-O-N, but the John J-O-N is usually a shortened version of Jonathan. But if the actual name is John, it's J-O-H-N.

This is in the past, the kind of names. And then it'd perhaps be shortened, or, well actually John, Johnny is an, it's a longer word, isn't it, than John. But then some people, they call themselves Jack.

How do you get Jack out of John? John F. Kennedy, Jack Kennedy. Jack. What? That don't make sense.

I want to understand it. Like my grandad was called Edward, but no one called him Eddie, no one called Eddie Ted, everybody called him Ted. So, Teddy, Ted, Edward.

I don't know, was there a teddy boy or a teddy bear called Edward back in, you know, the 40s or 30s or whatever? Where did Ted come from? It's got a T, where did, you know, and relax. See, I don't know, I don't know what the solution is. Tell me, tell me if you know, if you really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really.

If you want to know the secret to happiness. It's time for me to go to bed soon. Very, very soon.

Very, very soon. I believe in love, don't you know it's true. So yeah, so that's it.

I feel pretty much I've completed the journey on this particular recording and what did I talk about? I bet you couldn't even name one thing that I talked about because I can't. I don't know what I talked about. I don't know.

Well it couldn't have been important. Nope. No no no.

So I'm gonna go. So thank you for listening. Oh yeah the one thing I was gonna say is, I'll say it tomorrow if I remember.

Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself. Lots of love.

Bye.