#812 Let me bore you to sleep - MY NEW BRAIN APP - Jason Newland (24th MARCH 2022)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. Hello. Yep, that was my Welsh accent.

Not sure if you realise that. I am a multi-linguistic person. Anyway, hello, welcome.

This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen, only eyes, eyes. Yeah.

So, hey, I've got no idea what number this is. What number is it? Let's have a look. This is number 812.

Please only, I've already done that bit. Yeah, I've done all the introductions. I've done the introductions, yes I have.

Yes. So, hey, everybody, how is it going? I started reading a book. It's very interesting.

It's called We Are Brains, From the Womb to Alzheimer's, Dick Schwab. How could you not read a book by someone called Dick Schwab? It's very interesting. You know what I didn't realise is, basically it's about the brain.

Not clearly, I guess. I've only read about 23 pages so far. It's not an easy read to be fair.

Very few pictures. There's a few pictures, but not huge amounts. What I mean is, it's not a pop-up book, so it's a little bit more complicated for me.

I did actually, I remember years ago, I had a girlfriend, she actually bought me a pop-up book on impotence. Yeah, I took it back. It was faulty.

Nothing popped up. Yeah, there's a joke there somewhere. I found something interesting with the book.

It's talking about babies to start with. Did you know, did you, did you know that the only reason women go into contractions, regarding it's time to give birth and that, is when the female, the body, is not producing enough sustenance or food or whatever you want to call it. I'm not sure what it's called at that level, but they're not able to feed the baby anymore.

It's not getting enough of what it needs. It's not getting enough food, so it starts to get irritable and starts pushing and the cortisol or something, a chemical or hormone or whatever releases these chemicals in it's brain and it goes through it's body and it starts to demand food. It starts to push and stuff.

And because the brain of the baby and the brain of the woman, the mother, are connected, the more connected they are, the healthier the baby will be. Ah, did you know that? I didn't know that. And the more in tune the baby is with the mother, before birth I'm talking about, the more connected they will be after birth.

And apparently, so that's, that's, I found that interesting. Apparently, right, and this isn't funny, I know I'm laughing, I'm just, just laughing at my ability to remember certain things. Apparently, there's a chemical that kicks in when a baby's born and it does, it's the same with all, well, a lot of animals.

And the more, more of this chemical there is, the more, um, I don't know what the right word is, but the more interest the mother shows the baby, you know, depending, regarding if it's, if it's species, whether it's a lion or a human or whatever, but I'm kind of supposed to focus on humans at this time. And the birth process, the whole, you know, not the whole, okay, the whole as in w-h-o-l-e, process of giving birth right through, you know, all the way through the, the exit or, you know, not exit or entrance, but, you know, the, the birthing, I don't want to say the word, the birthing process, where it's, you know, the head comes out and the rest follows and stuff like that, looks like an alien and it's very scary for most, most people involved.

And keeps, keeps therapists in work for many years afterwards.

But yeah, you know, that, that process, that releases chemicals in the mother's brain, like huge amounts, huge amounts, like massive amounts. I think if it's a cortisol, it's something anyway, there's a huge amounts of the hormones, chemicals produced, which means that the baby's looked after. Now we all think that we're all unresponsive for what I do and everything.

But then I've known a few, a few people have gone through menopause and they've said like, I can't, I don't believe my behavior, considering it's just, you know, doctor says it's hormones. It just doesn't make sense. But hormones are way more powerful than I realized.

It's almost like we are being controlled by our brains and our brains are being controlled by the chemicals that are released by the hormones, the hormones are released into our body and into our brain affects our behavior, which is just, it makes us almost like mindless little robots. Amazing. So apparently if, if this is according to the book, so don't, don't blame me, blame Dick.

A lot of people will say that when it comes to births, I guess. So, um, and with a cesarean, those chemicals or that level of chemicals released to the mother's brain doesn't occur. Not in that level.

It's a different, it's a smaller amount. So that instant connection, that instant looking after that baby might not be there as much with a cesarean baby as with a, um, you know, I want to say one that's pooed out, but you know what I mean? One that's just delivered through the, I mean, it's an awful, it's an awful system. It doesn't work.

Does it really? It's not built. I mean, it's supposed to always built. It's not built for that.

It's built for tiny time. It's not built for fully grown babies. I do wonder like in the past when there was no medical help, surely it's only the premature babies that survived because the fully grown babies used to be, well, they used to be awful.

I'm trying to be gentle. I'm trying not to be blatant with this, but I mean, it's amazing. I think I'm amazing.

Women's bodies are just phenomenal. You can't do it. I can't argue with that.

It just, regardless of whether or not birth is possible, because not everyone can do it. And but just women's bodies are just, I mean, all bodies, I mean, human beings just generally, all animals really. I mean, just all, all animals, just plants, nature.

I don't know, getting all excited, but isn't it phenomenal? Really? And you got this from reading 24 pages of a book. Now you're an expert on everything anthropological. Is that correct? No, I think you find scientific, not anthropological.

Anthropological is more to do with behavior and society and stuff like that. You know what I meant? Okay, fair enough. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, not really. I'm not, I just find it interesting.

You know, and it explains a few things. For example, with, let's say my biological mother, for example, if it was as simple as she just didn't have enough of those chemicals being released into her brain, she had maybe her hormones, the part of her brain that secreted those hormones didn't work so well. So she didn't have that.

She wasn't flooded with that caring and protecting me with all everything that there was, you know. It wasn't really her fault, was it? But then I think it's a cop out, isn't it? Okay, it's not, it's not a cop out for, I think it's a cop out as far as, well, I didn't have those chemicals and therefore I didn't have, didn't naturally have those feelings. But I suppose it's not a cop out for, you know, your behavior after that is kind of up to you where you go with that behavior, isn't it? Whether you, how you, well, you treat the person after that, I guess.

But then I think maybe I haven't got the correct amount of chemicals or born with the part of my brain that works that is, oh, the needy side. You know, there's people that are needy, they're like really, really need to be around people all the time, need to be near someone or almost like a puppy, like a dog, like a needy. And I'm the almost opposite to that.

I just don't need to be around people. I get on with people. I just don't need that regular, regular human contact.

And I don't really have a huge amounts of emotions towards people. And I've just been born like that. That's how I was born.

That's how I've been my whole life. It's not that I don't care about anyone. I just, I try and help people if I can come to their aid in an emergency.

Done it many times like most of us have probably. It's not nothing spectacular for me. I think it's just something that we all kind of do.

It's a human thing, isn't it? Someone's in need, you help them if you can. But I don't have, I don't know. It's weird.

I'm trying to figure it out. I have to remind myself 24 pages. That's all I've read.

I've read lots of books on psychology and stuff like that. You know, I've got a degree which involves psychology in the degree. So I know, I'm not saying I know a lot of stuff, but I know a little bit.

I know a little bit to get through. You know, I've met enough people over the years. But you say you don't like, and I didn't say I didn't like people.

I didn't say I didn't like people. I just don't particularly like being around people for any great length of time. I have a cut off about an hour.

Half an hour is a nice period. It's a nice like, or maybe an hour even. You know, have a cup of tea, cup of coffee.

So if I meet up with people, which I don't, I haven't done for quite a while now. But you know, I used to have a few people I'd meet up with now and then. Especially when I was involved in Buddhism, I would meet people for coffee or for lunch.

It'd be their lunchtime or my lunchtime. And, you know, it'd be limited to maybe 40 minutes, because 10 minutes to get there, 10 minutes to get back to work. Or they were going to work and I was just meeting them.

Or if it was a day off when I wasn't working, I'd limit it to an hour. Because that's enough time to be with another person. I think an hour is plenty.

You can catch up, if you see them regularly, there's not a huge amount of catching up needed. There's a degree of repetition going to happen probably if you see them regularly. But it's fun, have a laugh and hopefully, but you know, an hour is enough.

An hour is plenty. An hour, oh an hour. An hour is enough.

But not everybody has, not everybody feels that way. Now, I'd like to think that an hour with me would be plenty. I kind of want, I want people to, after an hour, think, yeah, that's enough.

Let's move on now. Yeah, that's enough. That's enough with Jason, an hour.

I don't want them to think, oh, what should we do now for the rest of the day? No, no, no, no, no, no. I had one friend and I really liked him. I used to see him at the centre, I used to see him, we used to meditate together and stuff, you know, every week on a Wednesday or Tuesday night, whatever it was.

And it's a few years, so I'd always like chat to him during the break times and lovely. He was elderly, he's passed away now, but he was, he was elderly. He, but he was, he was funny.

I really liked him. And we arranged to meet once. I said to him, we should meet up sometime.

And I said, we'll meet up and have lunch, whatever, for an hour. He said, I'm not gonna do exactly an hour. He said, I don't do an hour.

I spend at least five hours when I meet with people. So we never got to go out. Because I was not going to spend five hours with anyone.

Not by choice. No five hours. Trying to think of some situation where I would, I think if it was a date, if I got a girlfriend, it's different.

I'm not talking about girlfriends. I'm talking about, I allowed two hours for that. No, it's five hours.

That's a long time, isn't it? Five hours. Five hours. Yeah, I don't, I don't know why I'm like this.

I don't know why I've been born with a lack of interest. That's it. I'm not interested in other people.

Doesn't mean I don't care about them. I'm, I'm interested sometimes when I'm with them. So someone tells me something in there, especially if it's a problem, I need to talk.

Yeah, I'm the most interested person that they'll meet. As far as I'll be an ear, I lend my ear to them. As long as they give it back within an hour.

And I will, you know, I'll listen and I'll try and help if I can. Or I'll just listen. I will still try and help, even though that's not what they want.

Because if there's a problem, if you give me a problem, expect a solution, or at least an attempt at a solution. And if you don't take my solution, and don't do anything with it, then that's up to you, isn't it? It's got nothing to do with me. I can't, can't.

I realized, and there's this two things come out of that. There's the whole thing about the cliche about men will listen to a problem, they always have to come up with a solution. Well, yeah, that's what problems are.

That's, that's the point. That's kind of, to me, that would be like a natural thing. If there's a problem, you're telling someone, if you just want to tell people your problems, just for the sake of telling people your problems, so that you feel better, and they go away feeling crap, then yeah, of course, you don't want a solution, do you? If that's so, a problem shared is a problem halved.

Yeah, but the other, where do you think the other half of that problem's gone? The other half of that stress has gone to the other person who you've told, and now they feel ill, and they've gone off feeling crappy. It's, you know, see, I've learned how to, as a counselor, you don't sound like a counselor, you sound awful. I used to be quite a good counselor, actually.

But counselor is not a friend. Counselor is not someone that, you know, you're not going to take their problems home with you. You leave it in the room.

And different situation, completely different from talking to a friend. And I, oh, that's a weird noise. I occasionally take on the role of a counselor sometimes.

But I like solutions, especially when, when the problem is solvable. So you know, they're emotionally, the person or myself even, is emotionally suffering because of the problem. So if there's a solution, and it means the suffering can stop.

No? Hmm? Yeah, to me, if there is a solution, then that should be looked at. If there isn't a solution, then okay. Fair enough, but it's worth looking, isn't it? But some people don't want a solution.

They just want to talk about it and share all that stuff with others. And I don't know, maybe they feel, they feel better afterwards. Like some people come into counseling and after an hour of unloading and unburdening, they feel better afterwards.

Now I've had people do that to me in real life, you know, outside the counseling room. It just is a, yeah, just a general situation and they've unburdened themselves. And they feel better.

I feel so much better now after talking to you. And they walk off with a little skip. And I'm just sitting there, unable to move, feeling drained and dragged down by their problems.

Oh, you just contaminated me with your stuff. And now you're okay now. So yeah, I think we all, I think everyone does it to each other sometimes.

It's natural. I'm sure I've done it loads of times to other people. I try not to, but I'm sure I have.

Yeah, that caring. Some people get annoyed a couple, I've seen a couple of people in the past when I tried to explain that I don't care. And they don't know how to take it.

It's almost like I'm saying I don't care about you specifically. No, it's not that I don't care. I do, on a level, I care about everyone as a collective.

And there are individual people that, you know, I do care about to a certain degree, you know. And some people that I would go out of my way to help, you know, friends and family, people that I don't think about generally, unless I'm speaking to them. But I'd still help them.

You know, I care, you know, when if someone's unwell, that caring comes up. It's more prevalent. But in normal times, I don't give them a second thought, hardly.

But it's probably normal as well, isn't it? Out of sight, out of mind, I don't know. I'll give you an example. I was on a date with a lady, went to a shop.

And she said, I'm going to go and look at that thing over there. And I said, well, go and look at that thing over there. I looked at my part of the shop, couldn't find what I was looking for.

So just somewhere I'm walking up the hill, and my phone goes. And it's her on the phone saying, Where are you? I forgot she was in the shop. I forgot I was with her.

I was on a date. And I forgot I was with her. I just walked.

I saw it wasn't what I was looking for. And I just left the shop and started to walk home. Completely forgot about her.

And this is on a date. So it's, and as I'm thinking, what's not my fault, is it? If it's all about hormones, and chemicals being released into your brain and your body, then I'm not responsible for those parts of my brain working or not working so well. Although I'm interested in how to, through hypnosis and psychotherapy and through, I don't know how to find ways to activate the different parts of the brain.

And I do believe hypnosis can do that, as can psychotherapy, as can various different techniques, as can meditation, as can lots of different things. And can, can, can, can help. There's sort of learning the different parts of the brain and a bit more and finding out more about these chemicals and these, you know, that are being pumped out by the, or the hormones being pumped out by the different parts of the brain.

It's like, okay, this is strange. And I love anything that gives me an excuse to not blame myself. Big fan of that.

Big, big, big, big fan. Oh, yes. Is this an opportunity for me not to take responsibility for myself? I will take it.

I will take it with all of my hands. All of them. So it's something else, you know, with the brain, and there's certain conditions and stuff that we have before we're even born.

And for years, it was being blamed upon lack of oxygen at birth, when actually, they've discovered that it was there before we were even born. Lack of oxygen at birth, or probably didn't help, of course. But being born with something that doesn't even activate until you're a teenager.

It's just amazing. Why can't we have superpowers that don't activate until we're a teenager. Although a lot of young boys, 12, 13, 14, whatever, would probably class certain aspects of puberty as being superhero-like.

I know I did. I gained my superpowers. You can't obviously say that at dinner time.

Dad, I was in the shower. Mum, brother, sister, listen, Nan, Grandma, listen, I was in the shower, and my superpower came through. I don't know how it's going to help me, but it felt nice.

It's like the best I've ever felt in my entire life. Really? Yeah, physically, it was the best I've ever felt in my entire, nothing else is compared to this. That moment in the shower, the best feeling, physical feeling of my entire 12 and a half years on this planet.

You can't tell anyone. You can't tell anyone. Well, you can tell your friends, but you can't, you can't tell you.

That's, you imagine having the best feeling, best physical feeling that you've ever experienced in your life. Whether you're a man or a woman, I'm just saying for everyone, or, you know what, I can't even be bothered to say man or woman or else. If you're a human being, if you're a human being, you experience the best feeling you've ever had in your entire life.

And you can't share it. You can't tell anyone. You can't.

It deserves a party, doesn't it? Of its very own. A celebration. And also the fact that you probably are never going to have that same level of ecstaticness again in your life.

You might have a few ones that are quite close, but that first one. It's amazing, isn't it? The body, the body is an amazing thing. It really is.

I'm still waiting for it to happen to me, you know. But, you know, it happened one day. I've heard it's nice.

Ding dong bing bong. Bing bong bing bong. So the idea that we're just a bunch of reactionary people just based upon the chemicals that are being flooded into our system from within.

That just seems weird. Weird. Because, you know, they say, the experts say depression and stuff like that, a lack of certain chemicals in your brain.

So your brain isn't producing enough certain feel good chemicals, which is why the person is depressed and stuff. Well, it seems a bit more complicated than that. But if it is that simple, because then you look at the person's life.

And there's more going on there. There's a little bit more going on there. So I was I think I was born with, it's warm in here.

I was born with a weird brain. My body's weird now. But basically, I was born with a weird, weird, weird brain.

Did I show? Did I go through my photo album? I did, didn't I? Yeah, I did. I was born with a weird brain. And I don't think it's really got any weirder.

I just think, you know, when you're a little kid. No one takes any notice of you anyway. So you can be a little bit weird.

It's like it's funny and always a bit quirky. It's the old Jason is a bit quirky. You know, when it's still happening in your 30s or 40s.

I remember when I was I'm just gonna get my drink, have a little drink. Actually, I've got some Coke there. Oh, that's it.

Mmm. Well, how old was I? I was in my 40s actually. So I was 40.

It's the end of 2011. So I'd have been 41. And I was diagnosed with bipolar.

So um, yeah, it was December 2011. And I went to where my mom, where my dad, my parents live, my dad and my stepmom. And she's been my stepmom for 30 years.

So you know, she's my mom, isn't she really? Not biologically, but she's the thing. It's weird because she's too young to be my mom. She's actually closer to my age than she is my dad's.

So it's kind of weird. It's she's like in the middle. I mean, she's what she's 60.

I think she's 62. And I'm 40. Or she's 60.

She's 63. I think. And I'm 41.

So yes, there's 12 years difference between me and her. And I think there's like 14 years difference between him and her and between me and him and her if that makes sense. She's closer to my age than she is to his.

And so she was 11 or 12 when she when she had me. She wasn't. She wasn't.

But she would have been had she been. But she wasn't. She never.

Oh, she had. She's a great mom. So I took them.

I said, Oh, it's all good. So I tell ya. I'll be down to see you.

I'll be there to the town center. And my dad said, Oh, we'll take you for dinner. Soup.

Soup. We went out. We had soup and some bread.

That's not a meal. Soup is a starter at best. Maybe a little snack.

Soup is lovely if you've been out in the cold and, you know, warm you up. As opposed to, no, but if you have some ice cold water that warm you up better than soup. Hot drinks don't warm you up.

And in the winter and in the summer, it's best to drink a warm drink rather than a cold drink because that cools you down better. Shut up. Shut your bum hole.

Just shut up. Shut up. We had soup and it's lovely in the winter, but it's not.

It's not a meal. It's not a meal. It's not dinner.

It might be if you're skinny and you can't and you don't eat much and you get full up by a little soup and some bread. I'm stuffed. I don't know if I can finish the whole slice of bread.

I won't be able to have all of it. Could I put it in a little container and a little doggy bag and I'll take the rest of the soup and a little bit of crust of bread and I'll take it home and I'll have it maybe for putting in the microwave and have it for dinner for tomorrow maybe. Yeah.

No, it's not enough. It's not a meal. It's a snack at best.

I mean, I would I'd say it's a star, but you know, I'm not really into more than one meal. I don't eat a lot, really. But one meal.

I don't need starters. You know, I'm not of that class. I'm a working class person.

I'm not. I mean, starters are OK for a function, wedding and all that crap, I suppose. But I'm not really.

It's not really my thing. It's just, you know, I can. I've done it.

I've had soup many times. Well, not many times, but a few. I've been to a few weddings over the years.

Never my own. But you never know. It's possible.

I just got to find a woman as uninterested in me as I am in her. And we'll do. We'll be fine.

The thing is, it's not true. I'm not. I can still love someone.

OK, I don't. The person, the two people I loved are gone. Manan and Andre, they're gone.

They're the two people that I loved unconditionally. I mean, to be fair, I think unconditional love is more expressed in an animal or towards an animal because of the things we have to put up with with an animal. I'll give you an example.

There's not one person in, I think, out of anyone, any girlfriend I've ever had in my life. And it's been a couple that I liked, like really loved, I guess, I don't know, but really had just, you know, really, really, really, really liked. But I'm going to include women that I was in love with and they didn't even know I'm including even them.

Any family members, brothers, sisters, father and grandparents, I'm talking about human beings, are the closest relatives, the closest people that I care about the most. I was thinking, you know, if I was going to go for a walk with Manan and then we go down the beach. She used to like going on the prom because we used to walk for miles, one end of the prom to the other, for absolute miles and be next to the sea air and she'd talk to me and stuff.

Now, if at any time she just crouched down and did a big poo on the floor and expected me to pick it up, I wouldn't. I wouldn't do it. I've never loved a human being enough to do that, but I did it with Andre and I bet loads of people listen to this, do it with their dogs every day.

I do it with my neighbour's dog, I can't stand it, but I do it. I don't like him enough to do it, but it's the law so I kind of have to, but I hate it. I didn't mind doing it with Andre.

I didn't like it, I didn't enjoy it, but it wasn't that. I used to clean up his stuff in the flat and stuff. Sometimes he'd have an accident and he'd do it on the carpet and I'd clean it up without any issue with it.

So that's unconditional. Unconditional. I mean when he was ill, he pooed on my bed.

He was unwell, this was near the end of his life and I could not care at all. It wasn't his fault and he was worried because you could see he didn't mean to do it. I did shout at him a couple of times.

Sometimes I had to shout at him, not when he was ill, but sometimes he'd whine me up. I've always tried to treat him with respect and try to treat him nicely. Just forget reality, he's a tiny little thing.

And I didn't want him to, he was never scared, mind you he wasn't scared of anything, but he was never scared of me. He should have been, just based on his size. He had no fear.

He was not scared of me, but he should have been scared of the dogs out there that were like 10 times his size. But he'd try and start fights with them. He attacked a couple of dogs, he actually attacked one and he ended up inside the dog's mouth.

I mean literally the dog practically swallowed him. He ran at the dog and the dog, do you know the way a dog catches a ball when you chuck it in the air? That's what he did with Andre. Andre ran at him and the dog just basically grabbed him.

Now the dog didn't get a chance to, I'm laughing now, but he didn't get a chance to chew or to close his mouth because my hands were inside the dog's mouth within a second, less than a second, pulling the dog's jaws apart and getting him out. I mean I'd have just, well I don't even want to say it, but that dog knew to just stand there and let me do it because it wasn't going to end well, or for the owner, or for anyone else that was in the entire town if anything happened to my little boy.

But it was all worked out fine and the owner was like, I'm so sorry, it wasn't his fault was it? It was Andre's fault for being a, trying to bully.

He's like a little, what's it, let me at him, let me at him, scrappy do. But when I got him out it was soaking wet in saliva from the dog and he was shaking and I thought oh no, so I'm putting out to the light because this is at night and I'm looking like is there any blood because you know you don't know so quick he could have got injured and he wasn't. I checked him, he wasn't injured, he wasn't because the one thing about ferrets, when they get injured they let you know.

They like scream, like really if they're hurt, so he's not hurt, usually actually to be fair he did get hurt and he didn't scream once. But he was shaking, I thought he was scared but he wasn't, he was angry, he was shaking with rage and he was like, and that was his, he was angry, so angry, frustrated, he wanted to fight, he wanted to fight. We weren't scared, he didn't have fear, he just didn't have any, the only thing that ever really got him, that used to startle him rather than scare him, it was more, it was motorbikes, really high pitched motorbike sounds.

And it used to, I think it was his ears, it just used to cause his ears to go weird because he used to be like what is that and he didn't like it. But other than that he was never scared, but I think he was shy, very shy, he was really like, sometimes I'd have someone in the flat that he didn't know and he'd do a little bit exploring, try and get into their handbag or their bags or stuff like that. And most people are not, I've found, not very open to sort of being climbed over or whatever by him because if they don't know, if they don't know all they can, often they see this little thing that moves very quickly that's got very, very sharp teeth.

He was never going to hurt anyone, but quite often he'd cling to me, like a little baby, you know like little toddlers they cling to their parents legs because they don't, you know they're kind of shy and they just don't know what to do so they're just clinging to the parent because the parent's talking to someone in the supermarket or in wherever and the kid don't know what to do so he's clinging to them.

Andre used to do that with me, he used to cling, but I'd hold him so he'd like let me know he wanted me to pick him up so I'd pick him up or if I was sitting down he'd climb up my leg and that and he would cling to me and he'd keep looking at the person then he'd look at me and he'd keep looking but he'd cling to me. As soon as they'd gone, get off me dad, I'm not a baby and he'd jump down and he'd carry on doing what he was doing.

He wouldn't do that if there was no one else around, he'd hug me, we'd have cuddles and stuff and he'd fall asleep, but it was weird because sometimes he'd do that and he'd lie on my lap on his back and I'd tickle his stomach and I'd stroke him and sometimes he liked that and he'd fall asleep sometimes. But when he woke up he'd get annoyed, he'd wake up and look at me like what the hell, how the hell did I get here and he'd jump down like get off me. Then other times he'd look at me, he'd wake up, open his eyes and he'd just go back to sleep again because he was happy or he was just too tired.

I think the best ones were when he was asleep and I'd pick him up when he was asleep and there was a point in his sleep where nothing would wake him up. Honestly I had a drum kit and it wouldn't bother him. So when he was kind of there I'd pick him up and I'd put him on my lap and just wait for him to wake up to see what he does because he remembers where he is when he's asleep, he knows where he is but I think at that point he's dreaming or whatever and he's oblivious to what's going on.

Which is why quite often he'd sleep in weird places where no one could get to him. So he'd sleep behind the door or underneath the shed when I had a shed in the bedroom, behind the sofa, underneath the sofa, underneath the bed, places where he couldn't be seen. I think that's just like a natural thing to protect themselves in nature.

They don't just go for a sleep on a bit of grass where everyone can see them. Although there were times he'd just fall asleep on the floor right in front of me or in the hallway just like a cat he'd just be stretched out asleep. He didn't care, if he was tired he'd just go to sleep.

Or quite often I'd go into the bedroom and he was on the bed, double sized bed and he managed to take up practically the whole thing by stretching out. He loved that bed, he really did, it was so comfortable for him. He loved having the bed to himself though, didn't like me getting into the bed because if he was in the bed on his own he'd be at the top of the bed or in the middle.

If I go in the bed he'd go to the bottom of the bed. It's almost like he wanted the bed to himself, that's what he wanted. And then another thing he liked to do was get inside the quilt.

So there's the quilt sheets with the continental quilt inside. I don't know if anyone calls it a continental quilt anymore but I'm old so I will. And he'd get in, manage to get inside that and he'd be asleep for hours in there.

Hours and hours and hours and hours. Sometimes he'd spend the whole day in there. He'd get up, go and do what he needed to do, go to the toilet or whatever or get something to eat, have a little play and he'd go back to bed again in the same place.

And I wouldn't know where he was half the time because I couldn't see him. Another place he liked, he quite, it's a bit grim really but he quite liked dirty laundry. He liked that, yeah he liked dirty laundry.

He liked horrible smells I think. I think he did like things that smelt of me. So if I had a particularly stinky t-shirt for example, he'd love it.

Honestly, he'd love it. Or yeah, he did for some reason. He loved stuff that smelt of me.

So I had a jumper that I'd probably worn for too many days to be fair. I had a bit too many, I was going to say soup stains but as you know I don't eat soup. I don't want to eat soup today.

It's not food is it? It's liquid. You don't eat liquid. You can argue but it's not a meal is it? Come on, it's not a meal.

Come on, come on, seriously. Behave yourself son. I do find it fascinating though.

No brain. So psychology's kind of, because you know it came out of philosophy didn't it, psychology. So it's kind of okay, as a thing.

So as a kind of, probably since the turn of the century, the previous turn of the century, that's when it became more of a thing. And then psychotherapy and then you know now we've got neuroscience and the thing that basically was the thing we needed all along was being able to look inside the brain and being able to see what's happening. There are all other streams of medicine in a sense of anatomically based medicine for the different parts of the body.

All of those experts know what's going on inside the part of the body. They can x-ray it, they can tell what's going on inside every single part, apart from the brain. The brain they can't tell.

They can do scans but they don't. I don't know if it's because it costs so much. You know they're getting very better at scanning and mapping the brain but then everyone's brain's different.

I mean obviously there's similarities but there's big chunks which is just brain mass. And it's weird. I tell you what I find weird is when people get headaches and it feels like it's the brain but it's not the brain because the brain has no nerve endings.

There's no pain. You can't have pain from the brain at all. Yeah headaches feel like it's the brain.

It's like the head but it's not. The part that's hurting isn't hurting because the brain can't hurt. It's just got no whatever.

So it's only the skull and the insides of the skull and outside of the skull and although it's thick it's not that thick. It's an amazing technology but at the same time it's this little bit of liquid or gel or whatever that separates the brain from the skull. That stops the brain from rattling against the skull.

And there's this whole thing I think wasn't it they say women have smaller brains because they've got smaller heads. No it's got less liquid between the brain and the skull apparently and got thinner skulls. I think if I'm right I might be wrong.

But it's amazing. The brain. The brain.

Brains. Brains. So yeah I'm interested in that.

I'd like to learn. Well I am learning more. But I just find it fascinating that a whole science has been based upon almost guesswork in a way.

Because unless you look inside the brain you can't see. You can't unless you've got a way of seeing how the brain works and you can't do that unless you look at the brain. A working living brain of the person that you're studying.

But we've sort of found every other way of doing it other than doing that. You know it's like studying the behavior. What do they say? What do they do? What do they think? How do they think? What do they think about?

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah It's fascinating really.

They sort of do everything but the one thing that needs to be done is to actually look. Imagine if they did that for any other part of the body. Which they do to start with, don't they? To be fair.

I think doctors, if someone goes in and they've got a little, they've got a problem, you know, they'll, a process of elimination, especially when it comes to maybe dietary stuff. But they don't, you know, eventually you can look inside and if you've got a broken bone, they x-ray it and then they put you in a plaster or in a sling or whatever, something to keep that part of the body still while it heals. You know, safe while it heals.

They don't lie and say, well let's talk about it for a while. Let's have regular sessions for six weeks. We'll talk about the pain in your arm and how it happened and maybe we'll try and figure out what to do next.

Maybe we'll give you this medication. Maybe, you know, change your diet. Maybe that will help.

It could be a hormonal thing. It could be, I don't know, give you a blood test. No, it's a broken bone.

Just, provided it doesn't have to be fixed, just put it in a splint, plaster, whatever and, you know, wait for six weeks and it should be fine. Hopefully, maybe a bit of physiotherapy, a few bit of painkillers while I wait and it's a done, done job. So it's strange how we, I think things are going to change so much over the next, I'd say 20 years because of the science of the brain.

Neuroscience, I mean it's been around a while but it's now becoming more, it's becoming almost, it's getting to the point where it's about to take over psychology, I think. And, which means, there won't be years and years and years of experimenting on patients with different types of medication and talking therapies and hospital stays and all that stuff. It will be a case of, let's have a look at the problem.

Well, let's have a look and see if we can figure out what the problem is by looking at the brain and seeing which parts are stimulated in different situations and let's do a little map of your brain. And then you realise, they say, well that part of the brain isn't firing when normally it would do in this situation. Or, you know, it's like, oh okay, well we can do something to correct that.

Let's see how you get on now, see whether or not, you know, there's things they can do to stimulate all the different parts of the brain from the skull, you know, without having to do any surgery. There's these cap things and they can actually stimulate different parts of the brain, which can get you to smell things that you didn't really, that you hadn't smelt for a while, to help you bring back memories, all kinds of things. It's amazing stuff and it's something that hypnosis can do as well.

But the thing is, with hypnosis, it's done in almost, you know, the parts of the brain are stimulated, but it's almost going in blind in a way. It's not really, because the brain, because everyone's brain is different, so once our brains are mapped, I reckon we'll be able to put a thing on, like a little cap, and we'll be able to just have it connected to an app and we can just press what we want, how we want to feel. So if we want to feel tired, for example, I want to go to sleep, you just click that and you stimulate, stimulate that part of the brain which causes tiredness, and there is a hormone, I forget what it's called, but it causes tiredness.

Click on that, so it spurts some of that tiredness out, and you go to sleep. Or if you want to do something else, you just start what you want to search for, and you just click on that, okay, do that, and then it stimulates, stimulates that part of your brain. Maybe, yeah, I mean, the idea is relentless, I mean, it's great that I've invented this app, isn't it? Wow, I've invented an app, and it's now made me a billionaire, because I think that will be what will happen.

It might not be a computer screen, but on your phone, just like, yeah, I want to feel this. I really like this person, but I'm not quite feeling the way I want to feel about her. It's increased that feeling.

So maybe even to the point where a little, a hat or something, or just something, a headband would stimulate, maybe even the phone itself would have some kind of way of stimulating the different parts of your brain, almost like a little remote control to your own brain. Yeah, I'd like to feel more of that feeling. Wow, I'm a multi, that would actually make me probably the richest person in the world, because everybody would want one, wouldn't they? It wouldn't be a case of, oh, I don't know, everybody would want one.

Imagine if you could increase or decrease any feeling that you've ever had. If any feeling you've ever had is available to you, and you can increase or decrease. By the way, that is all available.

But you know, with hypnosis, it could be. Imagine an app just on your phone. I like that feeling I had in 1999.

I like that was February. I like that feeling a lot. That was a very particularly pleasurable experience.

I'd like to have that feeling now. How cool would that be? Or I don't like the way I'm feeling right now. I think I might reduce it.

Gone. Thank you very much. Now I'll get on with my life.

Brilliant. So yeah, I'm glad I was able to invent that app while we were talking. So I'm going to go now.

I'm going to go home. So thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy.

Remember to be gentle with yourself. Give yourself a break, you know. None of us are perfect.

Just treat yourself the way you would someone that you really, really care about. You know, sometimes I see the way people just put themselves through so much, and you don't need to. You know, someone, if you saw someone in the same situation as yourself, who is perhaps being a bit harsh to themselves, you'd say to them, look, stop that man.

Stop it. Don't be so harsh with yourself. Just be a bit nicer to yourself.

You're a nice person. You know, just take it a bit easy. Have a rest from it all.

Let some of that stuff go. It's not helping you. So take care and I'll speak to you again tomorrow.

Lots of love. Bye.