#820 Let me bore you to sleep - IVE GOT A COLD - Jason Newland (12th APRIL 2022)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

I've got a cold. I've got a blooming cold. I've been sneezing for a couple of days.

Actually three days but I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure whether or not it might be a little bit of hay fever because sometimes I've got a little bit older. I've found I get a little bit sniffly during the pollen season.

But this is, yeah I think it's safe to say this is a cold. It's a little bit annoying. It's just sneezing a bit, blowing my nose, you know, just normal coldy stuff.

I feel all right generally. A little bit of coughing but not much. I had a bit of a sore throat yesterday but it's all right today.

So yeah, it's weird. Maybe it's just the summer cold. Although it's not summer yet.

But it's close. It's not far, not far from summer. Nearly here.

It just means that I'm haven't been able to go anywhere. Not really because today's the worst it's been so far. It's a lot more sniffly today than yesterday.

Sunday I was a little bit sniffly. Yeah, apart from the fact that I don't want to spread a cold and germs to people. It's just, to be in public and to sneeze or cough or anything like that, it's just, it's kind of not really acceptable anymore.

I mean, it never has been to me. But you know, people, most of my life, I've noticed that people seem to celebrate their colds by going out in public and sharing it with people. And they turn up at work sniffling and sneezing and coughing over everyone.

And, you know, they feel like they're a hero because they got to work. They came in anyway. And when the fact is, they're just going to spread it and it's going to make everyone else ill.

And so they're, you know, whatever the opposite to a hero is, is what they are actually are. The thing is, on the flip side is some companies, they don't, in my experience, they're not always very, very compassionate towards people that have a cold. Some companies, remember I had a boss, and he was so proud of his attendance record.

And he would come in full of flu, and he'd still come to work, sneezing over everyone, and he'd just breathe it over everyone. You know, I'm sure like when there was no one looking, he'd breathe into the air conditioning, so that it'd spread into other parts of the building. But he had really had that pride.

I've had no time off this year. Yeah, but you're getting paid 50 grand more than me, you know, so you're at your own office, you know, but I said it to him once, I said, look, it's that person over there. What, Tracy? Yeah, let's call her Tracy.

Well, that's her name. Okay, well, let's call her Tracy. That's her name.

Yeah, okay. Well, have you not learned the name of the person you work with? Well, I can't remember everything. Anyway, what do you want? What about her? Well, she's come in, and she's got a cold.

Are you grassing her up on her? I'm not grassing her up, I'm just saying she's come in, she's got a cold, and she said, yeah, it's good. It means that she cares about her work, she cares about the job. She cares about the people she works with, because if she didn't come in, everyone else would have to do more work.

They'd have to do her work, wouldn't they, as well as their own. And that's not fair on them. So she's a considerate person.

Yeah, but if you look at it from another angle, she's come in, and she's going to spread all those germs to all the people around her, which means more people are going to have time off. Because not everybody comes to work when they're ill. Not everybody can.

Some people realize that when they're ill, they need to stay at home in order to recover. Yeah, yeah. And why did you make that weird noise, Jason? I don't know.

I had a bit of a weird moment, but it's fine. I'm okay now. That's good.

Isn't it weird how we both have the same voice? I know. Strange, isn't it? How do people follow? I don't know. You still making those podcasts? Yeah, I am.

Really? Yeah. Why? I don't know. I just kind of got used to it now, really.

16 years and you're still doing it? Yeah. What's the point? I don't know. I'm not sure.

I don't know. Does anyone listen? No, no one listens. Well, how many people listen? I don't know, about three, three a month.

I get about three downloads a month. Really? Three? Yeah. Three as in T-H-R-E-E.

Congratulations. But yeah. Oh.

So do you still lie and tell everyone that you get thousands of downloads every day? Yeah, of course I do. I'm still lying. Because I remember when you started that lie, you thought that if you told people that you get thousands of downloads, then that would somehow create more people showing an interest.

And they would sort of psychologically believe that you were doing well. And you get more people listening. Did it work? No, no, not really.

Still. I mean, it went from two to three. So over about 10 year period, I went from two people a day to three people a day listening.

So it's gone quite well. I figure another three or four thousand years and I should be doing, I should be up to about 100 people a day. So it should be quite good.

No, it'd be more than 100, wouldn't it? I said, yeah, no, no. I'm just underplaying it as I do, you know, I don't like to exaggerate. He said, can we end this now? I said, okay, fair enough.

Yeah, I don't know where I'm going with that. So yeah, come to a locked door, you should turn around and go back. Okay.

Yes, I got a bit of a cold. A bit of a cold. I remember once working in a call centre and everybody had a cold.

Honestly, everybody, the amount of people who are off and some people, the woman next to me, she had a cold and she came in, of course. There's a hero. And I was surprised because I didn't catch, I didn't catch it.

Didn't catch a cold or had a sneeze. Wait a sec. Oh, I just sneezed twice.

Big old loud sneezes covered the entire television, I think. Nice thin foam snot. Anyway.

Hi, everyone. Yeah. Yeah.

Hmm. What's going on? Nothing. Nothing's going on.

What's going on with you? Anything? Anything? Anything at all? I just want to lie down and go to bed. Genuinely, it's 10 past seven. And I was in bed by eight o'clock last night.

I know. It's ridiculous, isn't it? I'm now seven years old again. Going to bed at eight.

No, I think I was able to stay up until eight when I was 10. I think I was in bed by about 7.30 when I was seven. Yeah.

I think I could stay up to about nine when I was 11 or 12. Maybe I was able to stay up to 10 when I was about 14. Oh, dear.

I remember I got a TV. Basically, my brother, he was my brother's and I got given it. And there's a black and white portable TV.

And for the first time, never had a TV in my room before. I was probably 14. Yeah, I was 14.

It was probably the most amazing thing that ever happened in my life. It was this black and white TV. It wasn't a particularly good one.

It was the picture was not great. receptionist one had a little aerial and it was just you know, but I had my own television. I used to kiss it at night.

I go to school kiss it goodbye when I went to school. Say hello when I came to the bedroom after school. Give a big hug.

Yeah, I loved it. I love that television. And I remember I started watching late night television for the first time in my life.

Because I used to get to stop late at the weekends, but not like hugely late. I still have to be in bed by about 11 I think on a Saturday night. But now I could stay up to early as of the morning and no one would know.

Although I could step to the early as of the morning anyway, in my bedroom, I could read or something like that. But this was something more exciting to do. So I had a television.

Ah, television. So I started watching TV at night. After I'd gone to bed, sometimes go to bed early.

So I've got to go to bed now. It's only four o'clock in the afternoon. I'm just so tired.

Everybody. Does this mean I can stay up to three in the morning on Saturday? Nope. Okay, good.

Worth a try. So I go to bed, and I just turn my TV on. I remember I used to watch boxing in the evening.

And this is good because also I had a chance to watch what I wanted to watch on telly. Now the only programs I got a chance to watch what I wanted was when there's no one else around. Unless of course, I wanted to watch what other people were watching as well.

So you know, I'd get to watch the children's programs in the evening, like early evening, after school, you know, four o'clock to, I don't know, six or something. So those hours, generally, I had the TV to myself in the living room. No one else was really around.

So I could watch that. And my little brother, when he was old enough, he used to watch the same stuff I watched, the cartoons in there. And in fact, I used to watch them with him.

It gave me an excuse to watch them really. And I remember right, when we moved, when the parents split, the parents, his mum, when lived with her mum, took him and I moved, I went with them. And I didn't really want to, if I'm honest, because what I did in a sense of I wanted to be with her, because she was my mum.

Well, I'm not, not, not blood wise. And she wasn't my biological mother. But since the age of seven, she was seven, ages seven to 16.

She was my mum. Oh, blimey. The talking is making me cough.

Brilliant. And what bliss. And this might be a short recording, if I'm afraid.

If I keep coughing and stuff, I might have to just stop because I wasn't coughing before. So it might be, I'll at least do half an hour. So don't feel too angry with me.

Don't be angry with me. Just means that I have to give my voice a bit of a rest. Because remember, you know, I have to look after my voice because that's my, that's kind of all I've got, isn't it? Really? I can't without a voice, without the voice, without my smooth voice, my sexy voice.

So without my voice, without my voice, I can't really make podcasts, can I? So, you know, I have to be careful with it. And yeah, so I went and stayed at my step nana's flat. And I was sleeping on a this camper bed in the living room in the lounge, just in front of the television.

So it was, I couldn't go to bed until I went to bed. And I was working full time as well at the time. So I was 15 still.

And yeah, she was still around till I was 16. And then she took off in 87. Was it 8080s? I think I moved in there.

87 April, around this time, Easter time, because I remember I moved into that flat above the chip shop. And it was Easter. Because it was Yeah, it was Good Friday.

And I was living there, I just moved in. And my friend came round. And we had hot cross buns, and a cup of tea each.

And it was Good Friday, because Good Friday is when you eat hot cross buns. And I just remember that because Wurzel Gummidge was playing on telly. So that would have been Good Friday.

But I have an idea that it might have actually have been Easter Sunday that we did that because for some reason, in my memory, Wurzel Gummidge used to be in on a Sunday morning. And this is repeats from the 80s. Although it was the 80s still, but it was repeats from I think Wurzel Gummidge might have even been late 70s and early 80s.

Wurzel or Aunt Sally. Oh, Wurzel. Which is a really bad impression.

And yeah, I remember, see my little brother, he used to because the TV was in the living room. Like any normal child of eight years old or whatever. You could hardly get him out of bed Monday to Friday.

You know, like it was a worse Saturday, six o'clock up he was like sprung out of bed, full of energy. And it'd be it wake me up to watch the TV, the Wide Awake Club, which is on Saturdays and Sunday mornings. And it was I think it started at seven in the morning or something like that.

And then there is the Muppet Babies was on as well. Muppet Babies, make a dream come true. Muppet, Muppet, Muppet, Muppet Babies.

I used to love it. The Muppet Babies. So I get muddled up now.

So Muppet Babies and Fraggle Rock. I think that used to be on as well. But what was it? Fraggle Rock, wasn't it? The trash heap has spoken.

That was Fraggle Rock, wasn't it? Not Muppet Babies. Fraggle Rock, I never quite understood because you had the little and they were always making stuff, always building stuff. Well, they were Fraggles, weren't they? No.

But or whatever they were, and then the Fraggles were just eating. I was eating the tracks and like, just, just seemed rude. But yeah, I used to watch used to watch that.

I mean, it wasn't for me. I was 15 years old. But having him having an eight year old brother gave me the opportunity to watch these children's programs.

I love them. What brilliant start to the day. Especially on a Saturday had to start work at nine.

So I'd wake up early and watch that while I was having my breakfast. And then I go to work for the day. And yeah, good start to the day.

Sunday didn't work. So I'd still wake up early, watch that stuff. And I've got no idea what I did on a Sunday.

I can't remember. I don't know. I really didn't like living there.

It was just no room. I mean, it's one of the good things I was very lucky really, as a child, as an older child, sort of in the age of yeah, even at the age of eight, I had my own bedroom. And my two older brothers shared a room.

And then we moved and that's when we had a three bedroom house. When we moved into the bigger house. I had my own bedroom.

We all had our own bedrooms. But I had a big room. I had a bigger room than everyone else apart from my parents.

And then my little brother had like the box room, which was fine for him because he was a baby basically, he was only like one years old. That was big enough. And then he moved into that room.

And we had a big playgroup playroom upstairs. And then my oldest brother moved into there. So we didn't have a playroom anymore.

I moved into my oldest brother's room that he was in before, which was the darkest room in the house. It was the windows opposite a brick wall. There was no daylight came in at all.

Not one bit. And so you had to have the light on all year round. Day and night is just one of those weird, very strange, I'm guessing.

Because why would they have a window? I'm guessing that when that house was built, there was no house next to it. Because it was a semi it was semi detached. On the other side, there was another building.

So I'm guessing that that area was empty, and then someone built on it, the land. Or maybe there was a bungalow there, and they built a bigger house. Because why would you have a window, if it just, it just looks onto a brick wall? What is the point in that? I know you have to have a window in a room.

But it would have been better to have it better to have like a sky lamp rather than a window, you know, like what something in the ceiling. Because what my brother had, he had his his room, my other brother, almost like it was. It was a weird shaped room, the ceiling, we kind of went in and out wherever.

And there was a skylight skylight in there. Which is perfect, really, if he was into astronomy. Perfect for you know, telescope and stuff.

Yeah. Or if you're very short. But you know, I ended up in that room.

And it's it was all right. It was just never enough room for my books, because I had lots and lots and lots of books. And my dad, which is weird, because my dad is brilliant.

He's always been brilliant at doing stuff like anything to do with building or anything like that. He's just brilliant. However, I never told him but the one thing he could never seem to do is put up shelves that held my books.

That could have been more to do with me putting too many books on there, which it probably was because the books kept collapsing in the shelves. Because I had too many books. We actually needed a bookshelf basically, or a bookcase, which I've got here.

Books. See, it's probably nothing to do with his ability to put up a shelf the shelves are fine, but they weren't fixed to the wall. There were those brackets so you could they could come off quite easily.

What I needed was something that was permanently fixed to the wall. So that whatever I put on it would stay. And I went through this don't tell anyone I went through this period of reading adult books.

I don't mean magazines. I never bought magazines. My brother gave me them.

He gave me his seconds. And I couldn't read I mean, I didn't read half of the half of them. I couldn't open half the pages.

Anyway, but I have started going through these. He started reading these adult books, science fiction, but they were kind of erotic. Actually, erotic is not the right word.

It was extreme, extreme, if that makes any sense. And you could just buy them freely. And it wasn't just that it was just it had bits like that in it.

It wasn't just about that. It was science fiction. You know, all kinds of stuff.

And I was able to, I don't know why it's a skill, but I was able to flick through a book on in a book, bookshop, and find books that had stuff like that in it. Admittedly, some of them were obvious because the front pictures, the pictures on the front of the book were, I'm sure to enticing to a young person as far as I was at that time. So I really quite opened my mind up quite a bit to some weird stuff.

And, yeah, it's quite interesting. I used to read a lot of books. It wasn't that was just a little period of my time in my life.

I was probably about 1314 to about 51. So yeah, it was just a short period of 40 odd years. And it was it was love read everything.

Every thing in the world. In the whole world. Everything.

Everything. I was just sneezing again, then what's the talking about? Oh, I don't know. Oh, yeah, weird books.

I feel all periods when it comes to books over, over time. I went through a period when I was about probably about 14. When I was reading Star Trek books, Star Trek books based on the well, at the time, it was the only TV show, the only, you know, the original TV show from the 60s.

Captain Kirk and Spock and all that stuff. But there was loads of books, loads of them. And because the new the new box on new now is it but the Captain look hard or what his name was.

Picard, well, he that wasn't till the 90s was it? The next generation. And of course, it's been was a Deep Space Nine and the Explorer and various different ones. So Picard did another another series called Picard, which I watched a couple of episodes of.

And there's another CS and other Star Trek isn't there that's been going as well for a few years. It's hard to keep track. Anyway, I used to hide, I used to hide at break time, I went through a period.

It might have been I don't know, just I didn't want to be around anyone at school and I'd hide found a hiding place to just sit and read my books. And that's what I do. I'll just read Star Trek book for the hour, eat my sandwiches while I'm reading.

And I go back to class. And because the club, my form room, the room we had to go to every when we sort of got to school and could stay there at lunchtimes and break times and that, that was I think it was a science lab. And there was like a two in the back entrance that no one really used.

So I used to sort of hang out there on the steps. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

So what other books did I read? Oh, yeah. I went for a period I used to read Wilt books. Wilt, W I L T. Very funny.

Very, very funny books. And there's a few of them. I think I read all of them, I think at the time.

And I proper laughing out loud. That was just very funny books. And I remember the Diaries of Adrian Mole, I used to read those books.

Quite like the Asterix books as well. But they were graphic comics books. I used to read went for a period I used to read a lot of astronomy books, didn't understand a huge amount.

I got interested in guns for a while. But just reading about them. And I'd get books from the library basically and just just read various different stuff.

Whether they were like, I quite like my encyclopedia kind of books, you know, lots of pictures. And sometimes that was quite nice, just to sort of just to see what something will look like and with a bit of a description of it. Just I don't know, just something to do, I guess.

Got very interested in the occult and things like werewolves and vampires and witches and all that stuff. Very interested in that. When I was about, again, probably about 1413 14.

Yeah, because I was working. Maybe I was 13. I was working in the bakery at the time, I remember, on a Saturday and Sunday morning.

And I used to buy I had loads of stuff with tarot cards and books on spells and you name it. I had lots of stuff on that. Very.

I used to basically give my step mom money and she'd send a check off to the to the bookstore and, you know, they'd send me the books. And it was a magazine, I think it might have been the 14 times. Something like that.

And it had, you know, astrology charts and stuff like that. And then I saw I worked out that I was born on a Wednesday. And.

Is it every 12 years? The calendar just repeats itself? I think so. I forget. Anyway, I had lots of books, it was, you know, things on how to use your brain to move stuff, you know, telekinesis, astral traveling, I tried that.

When okay, I just kept getting a parking ticket. I didn't, I don't know, just. I tried, I tried, I tried stuff.

I mean, all these times when I would be staring at an object trying to get it to move. You know, for like half an hour. And then realizing, why don't I just use my hand? It's a lot quicker.

So yeah, I didn't get very far with that. I just want to sniff, but it's a horrible sound to hear, isn't it? That's it. Yeah, I was just really into that.

I think it was by my RE teacher. She said something that because she was talking about. What are they called? Not Sikhs, not Muslims, not Buddhists, not Christians.

Hindus and Hinduism and started talking about the cosmos, started talking about the, the sort of connecting and comparing some beliefs with Jedis, Star Wars, the force and stuff like that. And she mentioned something about the occult. And because I liked her, I liked that I liked her.

She was a nice teacher. She's only really liked two teachers. Three, in fact, three teachers, the whole of my school and only like three teachers.

One was called Mr. Matthews, and he was a maths teacher. No, it might be Mr. Johnson. I'm just saying Matthews, because it sounds like maths, doesn't it? That is Mr. Johnson.

And he was a maths teacher and he got ill and he left. So he was lovely. And then I had an RE teacher for, I think, the first year.

And he was lovely. And then I had a lady RE teacher for a couple of years, and she was lovely. And the first RE teacher, he gave me an album.

It might have been on tape, it might have been an actual final album of Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat to take home to listen to. Like he actually brought it from home for me to listen to. And so he really liked me.

He was really friendly. He's nice. So I suppose I guess I had a little bit of knowledge, a bit about religion from a perspective of having lived with nuns and so on.

And I kind of, I felt I understood the Bible, the New Testament, anyway, not so much the Old Testament, but I kind of really resonated with the New Testament. And I'd read the Old Testament and I'd read bits of it anyway. I mean, I did read it, but I was going to church every day for years.

I lived in a church in the garden, where we lived when I was little. So you know, quite a bit of church activity. But then after that, the New Testament, it was just, I read that from off my own back, because I just wanted to read it.

Maybe stimulated by watching the Jesus films on TV, because there used to be a few big Jesus films, The Greatest Story Ever Told and stuff like that. And I just really, really felt it. Really, like that was almost took over my life for a while.

I didn't tell anyone. But it was just really, really felt it. And yeah, kind of weird kind of period.

And so that was something I read a lot of, spent a lot of time reading the New Testament. What else? Books, books. As a child, I mean, I used to go into the library.

I was very, very attached to the local library. As soon as I got a library ticket of my own, I was just in there constantly. I'd spend hours of the weekend, go in a Saturday, I'd be there all afternoon, reading the reference section upstairs, copying out information about werewolves.

Honestly, I would. And it was just something that I just I did it for enjoyment, not for any other reason. And, oh, yeah, the, the, was it the I think it was the, the game, probably when I was 14.

I'm saying 14, because when I was 15, we'd have started the last year of school. And the last year of school finished for me in March, April, something like that. So I was in there from this to December.

So September to December. And then from January to April, and that was it. That was the end of you know, so I didn't do a lot in that year.

I didn't have it was very much more taking time off to prepare for exams. So there wasn't much actual school schooling as such. And because I didn't have any proper exams to prepare for.

Because I wasn't doing O levels. I was doing GCSEs or sitting girls like really low level. So we had these free periods where we could go study at school or go home.

So I'd go around my friends and get drunk or something silly like that. Or just do something and I'm not I wouldn't do that every time. But just we wouldn't stay in school.

That's that's for sure. And then it got to the point where just there's no point going back. Let's just stay have the rest of the day off and I it seemed that they didn't care so much once.

Once the end of the like, once you're sort of in the last year. They weren't didn't seem to be that bothered. And sometimes I just wouldn't, I'd leave early.

And no one noticed. And I did it a bit more often. And because everyone was supposed to be studying and preparing for their exams.

And because I wasn't doing anything. I wasn't really I did have like exams I was supposed to attend. And I did attend them most of them.

But I didn't pass one exam. I got unclassified pretty much on everything. Because I didn't even attempt.

Although I might have passed the English exam. I'm not sure. I forget.

I can't quite remember. But it didn't matter anymore. Because at that point, the family was not together anymore.

So I didn't have anyone like watching me really. So, you know, so I could do I wanted and then also had a full time job. So going back to school just to do the exams.

In my mind was pointless. I did it anyway, because I thought I'd get arrested if I didn't. Of course, I wouldn't have done but I thought I had to go and do the exams.

So I did turn up for I think most of them. As it turned out, I didn't have to could have just ignored it. Wouldn't have made any difference.

In fact, I might have got a higher score if I hadn't turned up. And I yeah, so we just a little bit weird. I think if I'd have had an exam on werewolves and vampires and the history of vampires, I probably would have got quite a good grade.

But they didn't have such an exam. No, no, no, no, no, they didn't. They didn't.

They didn't. It's no fear. No.

Trying to think of whatever books I was into. As I was growing up. I still like reading the annuals for the comic style read on the dandy and the looking looking.

I'm not the looking. So it's the dandy and looking. And they were the two comics I used to read every week.

And I'd have the Dan and I had the the annuals which would be at Christmas. So I still like those I still I still have the smell of them. Lovely.

Still nice smelling. I used to read them as well. Then just sit there sniffing them.

Because that would be strange behavior, maybe. But did smell nice. Love the smell of new books.

And I think it will have a book. So like to read can't remember westerns maybe did I used to read westerns? Did I used to read horror? No, never really read horror movie horror books. Never really read that kind of stuff.

Other things that I used to read. There must have been some stuff my beard keeps touching the microphone. Sorry.

Must have been some stuff that I read. I can tell you what I read when I got older. In fact, the first big book, it was a big book, very thick book was the life and times or the life story the life of Sigmund Freud.

I read that when I was about 16. And I remember buying textbooks on psychology and stuff like that. When I was sort of 16, 17, 18 period of time.

I used to like that stuff. Yeah. I was sort of wanted to want I'd like the idea of being intelligent.

Just kind of wanted to be intelligent. Just have a little dream of mine, just to be able to I don't even know what just to maybe to be seen as intelligent, maybe to to have knowledge to, to have people treat me as if I was an equal, maybe, I don't know. Not really sure.

Not really given a huge amounts of thought. But definitely aspired to reading at a higher level than not that I was capable of. But sometimes a higher level than I comprehended, easily comprehended.

Sometimes, even when I was very young, I'd read astronomy books. And I didn't understand a lot of what I was reading. I understood some of it.

And I made connections and stuff. Some of it like proper, it's, you know, it's a very, very complicated subject. And I was 10 years old, something.

So 910, or something like that 11. So I was very young kid. And yeah, I didn't understand everything I was reading.

But I read the books anyway. I used to read, I'd get them bought for Christmas and birthday. And so I showed an interest in astronomy.

And that was it. Everything was astronomy from then on. Got bought a telescope got bought books every Christmas, every birthday, books on astronomy, like, I don't like astronomy anymore, everybody like a bike, please.

But you know, it's one thing I can never fault. You know, when I was when I had a family, the parents were so generous. When it came to birthdays and Christmases and stuff.

You know, I mean, I had a financially, I suppose I'd have had a quite difficult adult life financially. But as a kid, from the age of seven onwards, things were cool. I didn't have any of my own money, really a pocket money until I got to 13.

And then I worked. And there's been times when I actually, as an adult, working full time, I had less money than I did when I was at school. I actually had more, more money in my pocket.

When I was 14. Then I did as an adult, most of my adult life. That might be an exaggeration, but you know, I mean, like spare money.

Yeah. But there's freedom, doesn't it? It's freedom comes with having your own money in that. So I never bought some of the things I didn't do, which I could have really benefited from never bought myself any clothes when I was a kid.

I could have gone to school, super, I could have been super fashionable. Never even thought about buying my own shoes. Didn't enter me head.

And I could have done easily. I could have bought myself a decent bit of kit, you know, decent trousers, really nice trousers, nice shirt, really nice trousers. I could have done that.

Every at least once a month. I could have bought like really a nice bit of clothing, maybe every two weeks. I didn't even think about it.

Didn't enter my mind. Even when I became an adult and I was working. I remember I was working all the time, like I had this factory job.

And all I did is work did all overtime they offered. Yes, yes, yes, always. I'd work, you know, 12 hours a day, sometimes, instead of an eight hour shift, I'd work six days a week.

And I had nothing else to do. I was 18 at the time. I had nothing, no social life, no friends, just living in a room in a house.

And I had nothing to do. Nothing to spend my money on. And living in a tiny little room.

I could have got myself a flat, I could have, you know, I was earning enough money to do that, but I didn't. And I just wasted my money on stuff that I didn't want. I just spend it on stuff.

Sometimes I'd walk around looking for things to spend the money on. And I don't know what I spent the money on. Because even then I was getting 7800 pound a month coming in.

Which back then was pretty good. Because all the overtime would do the money. So it's like, it just went.

I didn't smoke, I didn't drink. And what did I do? I didn't buy any clothes. So I bought a few clothes when I needed them.

But I could have been the most fashionable young man in town. Or equal to the most fashionable people, you know, I could have really looked good. But I just didn't.

Very strange. My phone just went there. A bit of an interruption.

My friend downstairs needed some cheese. I'm the cheese man. I'm a cheese man.

Dear Jason, why do you insist on singing right at the end of the recording, just as I've fallen asleep? Sorry. That's my chair that time. That wasn't a fart.

It was my chair, my chair. Excuse me. That's me hitting my stomach.

It is honest. Sorry, I'm in a weird mood. I have no idea what I was talking about, everybody.

Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know. I don't remember. I don't understand anything anymore.

I was saying something. I was an article that farted. Although I've been sent another article by Sebastien.

It's a lady who lives in Germany. She sent me this article about it. But there was actually another article.

It was in the UK press. And a woman, she kept in her farts for quite a long time because she had a new boyfriend, I think, lived together. And she ended up in hospital.

She got ill. Because she held her farts in for too long. So, you know, I should find it and read it to you.

Let me have a look. Some people might have already seen it. But just see if Lady is hospitalized for holding in farts.

Here we go. Right, this is true. This is in the commentary telegraph.net. Must be true.

The headlines. Woman lands herself in hospital after holding in farts around her boyfriend for two years. Cara Clark, 19, was reluctant to break wind around her partner.

This is 6th of April, 2022. And there's a picture of her and him together. And it's him smiling.

And she's got almost a smile of relief. And he's got a smile of, oh my God, what's that smell? And a barrister claims she landed herself in hospital because she held in her farts around her boyfriend for two years. Cara Clark was at work when she developed extreme stomach pain on Tuesday and was rushed to hospital.

The 19 year old then learned she had an infection. Would have to have her appendix removed before it burst, which she says was caused by her reluctance to break wind around her partner. The barrister who has been with her 21 year old boyfriend, Kyle Duffy, for two years, claims he was dying laughing after finding her efforts to had left her needing surgery.

Wow, that's going to come back to haunt him. Whilst it is unclear what causes appendicitis, it can be triggered by blockages. For example, by solid waste product that causes an inflammation and pressure building in the appendix.

Cara has vowed to just let it out from now on after admitted she had no idea how dangerous holding in gas could be. Her video shows it has now reached more than 2 million views and more than 214,000 likes. With other social media admitting they also refuse to trump other social media.

That doesn't make sense, does it? With other social media admitting they also refuse to trump in front of their partners. I feel what they meant to say, other social media people. Yeah, content providers or something.

Anyway, video. Anyway, whatever. Uh, Cara from Louth, Ireland.

It might be Louth. Louth, Louth said, I do hold in my farts, but I didn't think I would be hospitalized over it. It's pretty much written for children, isn't it? The way it's written.

I'm pretty easygoing other than the burps and farts. I was at work on Tuesday and I had this real extreme pain in my stomach. I went to the doctor in hysterics and they referred me straight to the hospital.

I was in so much pain I couldn't hold in my tears. My doctor said to me, I'm sorry, so sorry you're in so much pain. I was limping when I was walking all hunched over.

At hospital, I started blaming my boyfriend because I do always hold my farts in around him. We've been together two years and it's still the case. Kyle was dying laughing.

He honestly didn't know what to say. He said, God, people are going to think you're afraid of everything with me. At this stage, I'll just have to let it out from now on.

Kara has revealed that her and Kyle are always joking around and manage to laugh their way through her painful ordeal. That's good of him. Kara said the hospital knew it was appendicitis.

It was a bit of a waiting game when they took my bloods and did such. Nowhere in this is that she said that a doctor told her that it was farting, holding the farts that cause appendicitis. I had my appendix out when I was a kid and it's a long time ago.

I was 12 years old. In my memory, I don't recall the doctor inquiring about my farting. I don't remember that.

They talk about bowel movements normal, appetite normal, things like that, drinking liquids, just drinking everything normal there, breathing okay, blood pressure, checking the blood pressure, checking um that stuff, pulse and stuff. Never mentioned farts. Farting regularly are you Jason? You be holding in your farts? Are you letting them out regularly? Never mentioned farting, not once.

And I'm guessing they never mentioned farting to her either. In fact, I'm guessing. It's a non-story.

It's almost just a made-up... Can you hear that? Like a dinosaur. Wait a minute. That's weird.

I'm just seeing someone, another EastEnders person's not in EastEnders anymore or anywhere else. Wow. Wow.

Anyway, that's pretty much it for me for today. I'm going to sign off. Thank you very much for listening.

Please remember, remember, be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Stop criticizing yourself.

And if you notice, you know, you got sort of a voice in your head telling you, you know, you're this, you're not good enough, blah, blah, blah, like that. Stop listening. Remember that you are good enough.

In fact, remember, you're amazing. You deserve to be happy. So be kind to yourself and be gentle.

Lots of love. I'll speak to you tomorrow. Bye.