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Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
I hope you're well. I hope you're groovy. So I just collected my glasses today.
My new glasses. Yeah. So I'm about three, three years late getting them.
Basically what happened is that thing that happened over the last two years. Kind of prevented me from going. So I can't, I wanted to wait until it was a bit safer, you know, to go out and do that stuff.
So yeah, I did, was it last Friday? Not, not yesterday because it's Saturday today. The Friday before last, I went and I had my eye test or it might have been a Thursday. I had my eye tests.
I had my ears tested and they were okay, which was weird because I'm often asking people to repeat themselves. So I realize either everyone's mumbling or I'm just not listening. Could be a bit of both.
The other thing is I had my eyes tested and it was a bit of deterioration, but nothing huge. The backs of my eyes are fine. So the macro degeneration thing that my dad's got and my aunts have got and my nan had, if I have inherited it, it's not kicked in yet.
So the backs of my eyes, they, they sort of filmed and stuff. Everything's fine. Everything's groovy.
My eyes are absolutely fine. Just I need glasses for reading and for distance. Reading's not so bad.
In fact, I think my eyes, if anything, have improved for close work. It's just, I get a little bit of eye strain and stuff if I don't use the glasses. So I'll wear the glasses for that.
Looking at a computer screen as well, the glare at a computer screen, all that stuff has a bit of an effect on my eyes. So I've got these glasses, they're actor light tinted thing, you know, so they, they go tinted in the sunlight. They have anti glare, which should be good.
Hopefully if I make videos, it shouldn't get too much of a glare from the lights on my, on my screens or the lenses, whatever. And it should make computer work a little bit better for my eyes. And also they are bivocals, bifocals, I think.
So they, but they, they're not, there's no line down the middle. They just sort of mix into each other. So distance is the top, look through the top, and then at the bottom, that's where I read.
So it's a weird, getting used to it, because I have to have the book a little bit lower, basically I have to have the book at my groin. So it looks like I'm looking at myself all the time, if you know what I mean, like looking down there. And I'm not, not all the time.
Sometimes there's a book down there. But I just thought when I was on the bus, people must have thought I was just staring at my groin the whole time. But I wasn't.
Not the whole time. So yeah, so that's good. Got them, collected them just now, been back about an hour.
And that was okay. But it's cold, cold out there. So it was weird, I went to, I saw my, I got like a little friend, and I help her out and she's, she sells the big issue.
And just, I give her a couple of quid every now and then. And I saw her for the first time in ages. So I'll give her 20 pounds.
Okay, I'm not saying this to show off, because it's not really a show off thing, is it? I gave her a house, then yeah, that'd be a show off. So I gave her just okay, I haven't seen her for quite a while. So here's 20 quid, there you go.
Suddenly out of nowhere, another one appears. Can I have some money? I said no. And then another one appears and suddenly there's three girls, three females, all who sell the, it's like almost they telepathically communicate with each other to say, there's a mug, we found a mug.
And let's all get money out of him. And I swear, I tried to get rid of this one, not the one that I spoke to. But I swear, but the one that just this just appeared out of nowhere.
The third one didn't really bother me. She didn't hassle me. But one really was on my case.
I said, Look, she's not hungry. So I'll buy you a sandwich. I said, Well, I want to go I want to go to the McDonald's.
I said, Well, I'm not going to McDonald's. I've got an appointment to go to. I didn't have much longer left.
I needed to get on going. And we were standing next to a coffee shop. I said, I'll buy you a toasted sandwich thing in there.
They do those. And she said, Okay, give me the money. I said, No, I'll just I'll just pay.
So they don't accept cash. Because that that place doesn't I think still you can only pay on card, which I think is ridiculous. And how can you have a business in this country and not accept cash? I think they shouldn't shouldn't be allowed to even operate.
You know, okay, during the height of the thingymajig. Fair enough, but not now. The whole country's open.
And this is the only place I think it's either Costas or the other one. I'm not sure which one it is. I think it's the other one.
Won't accept cash. And I don't maybe they've changed it because I haven't been in there for a few weeks. But I saw a video with someone two weeks ago went in, and they didn't accept cash.
So I find that a bit weird. It's I mean, isn't isn't there a con a constitutional thing, but don't they have to accept cash? I mean, it's it's ridiculous. How can you have a business in a shop, you know, a retail establishment? I know it's they're selling coffees and that is still retail, isn't it? And say no, we don't accept cash.
This isn't a cashless society. It's something strange about that. I don't know if they've got maybe they don't trust their staff, or maybe they've had money go missing.
I don't know. But it's a very strange way of doing things. Not everybody has credit cards, or those that do have debit cards don't necessarily have any money on them.
You know, I know there's not that many people get paid in cash necessarily these days. But you know, quite often when I was working, I'd, I'd draw out all the money I had available for me to live on till the next week or till the next month. And that would be the money that I would spend on stuff like getting a coffee, or eating out or whatever.
And the rest of the money would be in there for direct debits. This is interesting, isn't it? This is really interesting. Wow.
I surprised myself with my multitude of interesting stories. So yeah, anyway, this this woman, she follows me. Not my little friend, but the other one that I'd not really seen.
I think I've seen her before. But she literally I said, well, you can have a wimpy if you want. I'm gonna get myself a burger.
Okay. And then she started saying, but I need something I can't share that with my children. I callously I said, Well, why don't you just eat a quarter of it? Or eat a third of it.
And then you can get the other two thirds to your children when you get home. I didn't mean that I just said it as a joke, but she would not leave me alone. She kept going on.
She went from I'm hungry, which I can help her with. First of all, she wanted money. I said I just given my money to her.
And she said, Well, I'm not sharing it. Which is fair enough, really, to be fair. You know, because she was on her own when I gave it to her.
It's not like I gave it to her in front of anyone else. But she said she's always like that. And I think they're friends, but they kind of like, they're very, very.
I don't know what the word is, but quite. And what is the word territorial or very, very, very, very, very. I don't know what the right word very angry, not angry, very unforgiving, very, what's the point? What's the opposite to being generous? You know, I don't know.
But you know, once she had that money, she kept it in her pocket. She would not bring it out. But this one, this other one, because there's three of them, the third one, it turned up.
She just like stayed or stayed behind. And she wasn't thinking of any hassle or nothing. But I think she probably does quite well.
I think she'd be she's I don't know, I got I got a sense that she was doing all right. She'd made some money. She'd sold some big issues and that.
So she wasn't that sort of bothered. But this this one, she followed me. And it went from I'm hungry to my children.
I'm hungry to I need the money. Just in a short five minute walk to McDonald's. And I said to her, I said in the end, because I just had to get away from her.
Because she was really loud. And right in my ear. I need the money.
I'll do anything for the money. I'll hug you and kiss you. No, you're all right.
No, thanks. So in the end, I thought I know what I do. I give her a chance to probably think that she's got one over on me.
I gave her 10 pounds. And I said, just if you go into McDonald's and get yourself and your friend a burger, as you say, that's not enough for a burger each. Well, it is.
Burgers are about I think, four pounds, 350. If you get cheese, just a normal little cheeseburger, they're a pound. So you get 10 of those for 10.
So but I gave her 10 pounds. And I knew as soon as soon as she has a whistly, as soon as she saw me cross the road, she was just going to walk back with 10 pounds. She wasn't going to spend it.
But I didn't bother waiting to see. I didn't go apart before I cross the road and I'll look back to see what she does. And I thought no, it's none of my business.
Now. I gave her the 10 pound. She can go she do what she wants of it.
It's none of it's nothing to do with me. And I kind of left it there. Basis.
I feel I felt I suppose a little bit sorry, but they're all from Poland. And because of what's going on in Poland, I know they're not there, but they've got family in Poland. And it's, you know, it's got to be a very, very tense time for our lovely Polish guests in this country, with family and friends and you know, loved ones that are there, not knowing quite what's going to happen and you know, being right, caught up in the I don't know, caught up in the not the crossfire, like literally, but the the huge amounts of influx of people from Ukraine moving into to Poland.
Again, I'm not gonna talk about that situation. But yeah, it's got to be worrying, I guess, for those people that live here that are from that country. Although I did find it ironic that apparently, don't quote me on this, but I think it's in their, their, their laws and that that they don't actually welcome foreigners in their country.
They're not a big fan of refugees or asylum seekers in their country. Or people just move in, move in there. Or stay in there temporarily and work in and then move.
Oh, really? Really? But I'd have thought that, I mean, considering they Well, I just thought it was, it didn't seem real, like, surely not. But you, but really? I've known a lot of Romanians, all the way back to 25 years ago, I used to work with loads of them. And cool, coolest people I ever met.
I met a lot of them. I used to work with a lot of Eastern European people. I don't quite, actually I do know why.
It's because the manager was from Croatia. And the basically, he started recruiting people that he could, the language he spoke that he knew. And once one waitress came in, who was from, I think she was Croatian.
So when I moved, when I started working at the club, there was a few Croatian people working there. And then the, there was a Polish person working in the kitchen. But all the people in the kitchen, the other people were from, I think there's like South America.
And my boss sacked all of them. One day, he got rid of the whole kitchen, all of all the staff, apart from the Polish man, who was, he just washed up. And took on a new chef.
And before you knew it, basically the whole place, the whole kitchen area was Polish people working. Because the chef just said to the Polish bloke, who worked in the kitchen, you know, doing the washing up. Have you got any friends that have any catering experience and need jobs? The next day, three new people started, you know, just preparing the food.
And it's like, what? And it's the same with the staff, the waitresses and the waiters. There was a time when nearly all of the male waiters were gay. And that's because the bar manager was gay.
And he just, the manager of the whole place, do you know, he said, I've got friends that could be waiters that are looking for jobs. And it just, it's just the way it was. Suddenly, three, 40% of the waiters and staff were gay.
And it's just the way it kind of works, like your group, you're there, wherever their friends group, I'm not saying that gay people only have gay friends, because that's ridiculous. Although I am straight, and most of my friends are straight. So maybe it does have something, I don't know.
And then it changed again. And then it went from, yeah, there was one, two, three, four Croatians working there. There was someone from Yugoslavia who worked there.
And he became the manager. And then he got sacked. And then one of the staff, the waiting staff, I said to him, Do you miss him? He said, No, he's from Yugoslavia.
I'm Croatian. I said, Yes, I. And he said, Do you not, do you not have any history? Do you not remember anything that's happened in the wars and stuff? And it's which has only been a couple of years earlier. Like what, 95, something like that.
The Yugoslavia and Croatia thingy, ding dong, whatever they had going. And he didn't like him, even though they worked together, and they laughed together, and they chatted, didn't like each other. But instinctively, intrinsically, just weird.
I didn't understand that. Because I'm not friends with people. I'm not friendly to people I don't like.
I just don't see the point. I'm not rude. If I'm working with someone, I don't want to be rude to them.
But I'm not gonna have nothing to do with them. If I don't like someone, because there's has to be a genuine reason. Usually, you know, sexuality, color of skin, things like that.
I'm joking. Blimey. Oh, you just said you're sexist and racist.
I heard you say it. Of course not. Blimey.
I tell you, I never understood all that stuff, really. I was born to be, not born to be, but I was raised in a society that was racist and sexist and homophobic. I was raised in that kind of society.
But even as a kid, I didn't really understand it. I didn't really. It didn't make sense to me.
But I think probably my cabin lived in a children's home with different ethnic groups. Because, you know, children's homes are full of people from all situations. Black, Chinese, maybe not Chinese.
But there might have been some Chinese people there. But, you know, it's basically because a lot of the kids there were orphans. And they're orphans because the parents were no longer around, no longer alive.
So as we know, when it comes to things like that, death is not prejudice. It's getting heavy. Let's move on.
I caught me Willie in my zip. That's good. But it's okay.
No one was looking at me on the bus. No one saw. I feel quite, in a way, I feel quite good that I managed to move away from that small town mentality that I grew up in as well when I was from the ages of like seven to 18.
Although there's a lot to be said for living in a small town, it is sort of one of some of the safest places that you can live in this country. If it's a relatively decent place, it's still stuff goes on. But it was quite a safe, safe, pretty safe place to live.
But there was that, just smile, just that small town mentality and people gossiping about each other and stuff like that, that I didn't really mind. I love gossip, absolutely love it. I love a little bit of gossip.
I do actually sometimes, but I don't at the same time. I don't, not, I'm not generally not interested in anybody in a sense of from that angle. You know, it's, even if I went on a date with someone, I wouldn't be asking them questions about themselves because I'm really not interested.
I take someone for how they are now, not based, I'm not going to judge someone based on how they used to be. You know, so if I met a female and she used to be anything, right, it doesn't matter. I take her for how she is now, even if she spent 10 years in prison or done something, you know, just doesn't matter.
It's like, just, you just, who are you now? So that's, I don't know why I'm mentioning that. I'm thinking about getting a girlfriend, thinking about it. I'm not giving it a huge amount of energy to be honest, because I don't know how to go about it anymore.
I don't see anyone, don't go anywhere. Really not a fan of online dating because the thing that I can't give in online dating is who I am. I can't do that constant texting for hours and hours, back and forth, back and forth.
I can't, I just don't have it in me. I get very bored very quickly with that. You know, I'm a verbal person and and really if it's not in person, what's the point? I realise, you know, if you live in a different country and you like each other and you're planning to maybe meet up and stuff, then, you know, all you've got is the internet and talking online and that.
But the best way really is, what I've always found the best way is to be in person with that person, person, person, person. To actually see them. You can, you know, just to be able to see, you can smell them.
And I don't mean that in a weird way, but just, I mean what, what's the point of really, if you really like someone online, you meet them and they're smelly. And it's not that they're smelly, just you don't like the smell of them. That's what will happen with me.
I stink. But you can't see that on video or listen, you hear it. All you can smell is a bad attitude.
My attitude stinks. Sometimes, sometimes. But you don't know how, because that chemical, that chemistry, that, you know, the other person, your brain reaction to being in contact in the same space as another human being, you can't know what that feels like until you meet them, until you're in the same space as them.
And I've seen firsthand how some people have like really liked each other. You know, there used to be a thing called, what was it called? Date something. And it was a magazine, like this little magazine, and they'd just be full of adverts, singles, and you'd just write to them.
And they'd write back, if they're interested, you put a picture of yourself and, and then you'd write about how, how you are, who, what you like, and then maybe then you start phoning each other and, you know, go from there. But even if you like someone, and you fall in love with someone on the phone, and you speak to them for months and months, when you actually see them, sometimes it works brilliant. I mean, it does.
I mean, thousands of people have fallen in love and got married and had, you know, happy lives from that, sort of that situation. But I've also seen it the other way. So I had a friend that used to do this.
And this woman turned up and she just said, I'm just not, not into him. She really liked him on the phone. She loved him on the phone.
They loved each other. They're all, all kind of in love. And then she came up for the weekend.
This is years, this is a long time ago. She came up for the weekend because I was living with him. And she just didn't like him.
She liked him, didn't, you know, not just didn't dislike him as a person. But she was, she wasn't physically attracted to him. And that was more, probably less to do with how he looked.
But just that chemistry wasn't there. You know, she knew what he looked like. So she'd seen pictures of him and stuff.
But the chemistry wasn't there. The, as I said, when I say, when I say smell, because it's a smell that we can't tell. I mean, there's smells you can tell as well.
I mean, you might meet someone and they might have like really, really bad BO. Which is good, because I actually love BO. The smellier the better.
Oh, I do sometimes. I mean, I've, I purposely started looking to try and date someone that may be a woman that worked on the dust carts, you know, collecting rubbish. It's that, oh, that smell.
There's also like rotten cabbage that really, that's an aphrodisiac to me. Or chicken shit. I'm not calling your names.
Have you smelt chicken shit? Chicken poo. Like as a fertilizer. It is the worst smell in the world.
Absolutely awful smell. Like really bad smell. So when someone says, oh, you chicken shit.
That's what I think about now. He's like, no, I can't smell that bad. If I smell that bad, there'd be a petition from the neighbours for me to have a bath.
That would be awful. It's a really bad smell. So, um, I was going to talk about other stuff.
I can't love story. I'm talking about this now. Anyway, this I've seen that I've had my own experiences.
I'll tell you about it in a minute. But you know me, I'm going to go off and then I'll forget what I was talking about. Before, I'd like to say thank you for those that listen.
I will be making more recordings. I know I'm very aware that I haven't been as regular as previous times. I mean, I go through periods.
I'm more regular. I mean, there's been times when I don't do anything for months. I haven't been in that situation, have I? So, you know, I never go more than a few days generally, maybe a week's the longest I go without making a recording of some kind.
But a week is a long time if you used to listen to me every day with new recordings every day. I'm planning to get back to making the new recordings every day. But the fact is, I haven't been doing so great, like, mentally.
I just haven't been. I mean, in some ways, things have been going better than they've ever been. I paid off all my debts.
I had, you know, things have sort of, in some ways, gone really well. And the podcasts are still going good. Even when I don't, even though I'm not making loads and loads regularly at the moment, I'm still kind of reaching, you know, 20,000 nearly every day downloads a day.
So that's, I mean, it'd be a lot more if made more recordings. But it's not a bad kind of baseline, is it? 15,000 17,000 20,000. You know, some days I don't make any recordings.
So it's, yeah, I'm still I'm pleased with that. And I'm grateful. I feel grateful for that.
I don't always feel grateful for that. But I am now. If that makes sense.
And that's, that's one of the weird things of my condition is, I don't know how I'm going to feel from one day to the next. I really don't. And every day is, it's not a new adventure, because it doesn't feel exciting.
Some days are exciting. But the only thing really, probably the thing that excites me most is, but just doing this stuff. You know, if I, I'm quite excited about having new glasses, to be honest, they're lighter than my other ones.
And it's weird wearing them because my eyes are they're a little bit strange, just a little bit. So I'm getting used to the the different lenses the way it is. So it's a bit strange.
But it's okay. It's not it's not a bad thing. And I've got the boxing on in the background on mute.
It's still quite early. They've got the undercard, the under undercard, like before the bell, they call it on the zone. So there's a bunch of people that I've never heard of before fighting.
But, you know, these are potentially future world champions. So it they're worth watching. It's just there.
I mean, sometimes I get to know, like actually Niko, the bloke that's fighting there, just realized I've seen him before. So you kind of get to know them, you know, people. So I saw him before.
There's one. I think he's Mexican fighter. And I've seen every one of his fights.
And I think he's now had six or seven, eight fights. And he's brilliant. And if he doesn't go on to win a world title, then I don't know boxing.
And I do. I feel I'm quite knowledgeable with the old boxing. Because I've been watching it for so many years.
And only as a spectator, I don't mean as a doer, you know, as a boxer, I'm not, I haven't got that knowledge as a boxer. I trained in boxing for about a year and a half when I was at university, but I was never allowed to get in the ring and spar because of my age, I was too old. So I was never allowed to compete.
I think they stop it. I think it was 32, 34, something like that was the age when they stopped. We weren't allowed to compete anymore as an amateur.
So it was kind of, I wanted to spar, not, I wasn't that bothered about, well, I would like to have competed once that's, that's my bucket list. And realistically. I mean, I could, I think it's why is it blue collar, white collar boxing, where just an ordinary just general population can go along.
And box and, you know, have bouts. But I would have to train and I'd have to really have a trainer with me train properly. And I only go in when I was told I was, it was safe.
Not that I would win, but that I would be safe and be able to defend myself and come out the other end, because it'd just be a one off thing. It would just be a bucket list tick. Just to have a, you know, three rounds, three, three minute rounds or two minute rounds, whichever, whatever they do in in that thing in that white collar boxing.
And it wouldn't bother me I might come out with a very, very sore face. No doubt I would. But it would, as long as I didn't get hurt.
And I don't think I would. Because I wouldn't do it if I thought I was going to get hurt. You know, because the thing is, before you go in, you would have to spar, you'd have to get sparring in to know whether or not you can absorb, you know, the punches and whether or not you can, if I if I could actually lay a glove on the other person.
Otherwise, I'd have to take a gun in with me. So that's one of my little dreams is to do that one day. So I'm thinking if I go to Thailand, or when I go to Thailand, it's not going to be anytime soon.
I want to get together at one of the Muay Thai gyms, train and see whether or not they can put me in a bout, just a one bout with someone the same kind of age as me, not with some young chap that is, you know, just going to run rings around me and be, you know, twice as strong and twice as quick and all that stuff. That wouldn't be fun. You know, I did that when I did karate.
I did when I was a kid, I ended up, I did, I don't think two or three contests, competitions. And I was pretty good. But I wasn't as good as I thought I was, when I actually went in against people that were better.
That sounds like it's a weird sentence, isn't it? But because the one thing I like to hope that I never, no one ever says that I brag. Now I brag in a jokey way. You know, it's when I say how good looking I am.
And I mean, it's truthful, but it's still, it's a jokey brag. I mean, everyone knows that I'm a sex god, you know, we all know that. So it's not like, you know, people say, oh, I always used to think when I was younger, being a sex symbol, it was so easy.
Like you've got the whole world. It's not that easy. You know, since I've become a sex symbol, the last few years, you know, since all the podcasts have taken taken off, and 1000s and hundreds of 1000s of people around the world kind of listen to me.
It's being a sex symbol is very, it gets a bit tiring sometimes. I can't even get a woman to look at me on a bus. Honestly, I have no female interest in me not one female.
I had a woman look at me once a few weeks ago. Yeah. The only way a woman wants to date me is when they've met me.
Let me explain this. Once they get to know me, and because I probably I'm different. Potentially, like, I guess some some people I'm saying women, because that's what I'm talking about.
But yes, goes for the same for men as well, is we all kind of have our types, don't we, I guess. And sometimes the physical type seems to have a certain mental type, or behavioral type. Now that's a cliche.
And it's not the case for people. It's like not every bold, big, strong, muscly man covered in tattoos walking down the street is a thug. But a lot of them are, but not everyone is.
Some of them are the nicest, gentlest people you'll ever meet. In fact, some of the toughest people you'll ever meet are the nicest people you'll ever meet. So, you know, unless you annoy them.
That's when you're in trouble. But not everybody. So some, some people love that type, like the bully boy kind of bad boy thing.
That's I've known people, women that have met me after liking that type, because I'm not that type am I? I'm, I'm just weedy, scaredy cat, little me. So I'm not, I'm not a tough guy. I don't don't pretend to be tough.
I just, I'm just, just me. So I've met, I've met women, I've dated a few women that have come out of relationships with these tough guys. And then they meet me and I'm gentle.
And they, they're just shocked. They're shocked that I'm not being aggressive to them. I'm not trying to tell them what to do.
I'm not trying to control them. And I think there's a lot of that from both sides. I mean, I've met many controlling women.
So I know it's not just a man thing. Although men, it does focus on men, you know, society and men of this and men in that. I've never dated a woman that wasn't controlling ever in my life.
So it's, I think it's very, not, maybe it's because, I don't know, that's contra, maybe it's controversial. It's true. It's from my, from my position, every woman I've ever dated has been controlling and manipulative, or a mixture of the both.
And that's why they never last because I don't put up with it. I don't think anyone should put up with it. Whether it's from a man, a woman, or a midget, or a little person.
I like the word midget. See, I don't, I don't class midget, I know maybe people do, but I don't class midget as being a derogatory term, because I feel fondly towards midgets. I don't laugh at them.
I feel fondly towards them, because of the Wizard of Oz. And because of the, the, the one from, so I'm laughing, because I'm laughing at myself trying not to laugh, because I'm trying not to laugh. It's like I said, I don't laugh at them.
And I'm laughing, but I don't laugh at them. I don't, I don't find them funny. I used to.
I used to when I was younger. But it's like anything, you see something for the first time, it's funny. If it looks different, if it's, it's, I think, for, yeah, it's, it's different.
So I'd laugh. It was that's the, that's the English way is we laugh at difference. And it's not based on hatred.
That's the thing. It's not, it can be, but a lot of it isn't. And the reason why a lot, I think a lot of people from the 70s, and people who are brought up like that, you know, the reason they get angry is because they're told what they can and cannot laugh at, what they can and cannot say.
And when you get, it's got to be hard to just be in your 70s. And to be basically told that pretty much everything you say is unacceptable. It's got to be very difficult.
You know, all the words that he used to use to describe different people, different types of people. And it was used for that reason. So that when you told a story, you could distinguish between the person you're talking about.
I mean, there was a sketch in there's a sketch in Family Guy, where a woman had been mugged. And she was trying to describe the person. And she was doing everything she could to avoid saying that he was black.
So she was sort of describing what clothes he was wearing, and all that stuff. When she just didn't want to say that, because you didn't want to be classed as being prejudiced. But that's important information to have.
Because it cuts off, it means they're not, they're no longer looking. It just decreases the lens of focus, isn't it on what you're looking for. If you know the person you're looking for is has got gray hair, then you're not looking for people with red hair.
You know, you know, I mean, or if the person's white, or a person's six foot six, you're not gonna be looking for midgets. Can't stop saying the word now, sorry. You're prejudiced.
You know what, come to the conclusion that everybody, no matter what, what is said now, that someone's going to get upset. It's on other people's behalves as well, which is quite funny. Now, I've realized that I can't be bothered with that.
I can't be worried about that. Because I'm not a TV show. I'm not on the radio.
You're not paying for this. So I'm not, I'm not doing this on YouTube. I do some videos on YouTube, but not this one.
Yeah. So ultimately, it doesn't matter. Everyone's because I know, we all know who we are inside that we know.
Because it's not what you say. It's what you think. It's what you feel.
Now. Someone can say the worst things in the world, but they might not have that in their heart. They might just be saying that because you're in an argument with someone, and they want to say the worst possible thing that they can say to upset the other person.
Because that's kind of how arguments work. You know, I mean, I mean, bad arguments, people say, one person says something horrible and personal, the other person replies with the worst thing that they can say, that's going to really upset every person. Now, I don't do arguments.
I would be very, very good at them if I did. And I never lost an argument in my life. But I don't argue anymore.
Because I go, I go beyond, I can go on to a level that most people can't follow. Because there's no filter when I get to that situation. And I was, you know, I generally try and make it funny as well.
But some people can't differentiate between what someone says and actually what they really feel what they really believe. Now, it's not the people that use old fashioned language, let's call it old fashioned language, because these terms were acceptable 20 years ago, 30 years ago. And some words are just completely unacceptable in society, in this society.
But not in, not in private, but like in public, just like smoking weed is unacceptable in public. But millions of people do it in private. You know, so there's probably something else that even more people do, that you're not allowed to do on the bus.
Apparently, I've been told, see, but isn't it more to do with the person what they actually are inside? And I know, I know that I don't have hate for people, for their sexuality, for where they come from, for what they look like. I don't have any of that. The only people I have an issue with are people that are really horrible to me.
You know, that's the only people that I've ever had an issue with. It's never ever looked at someone for I don't like them because of their accent, or because of, you know, the clothes they're wearing or whatever, or because of their skin or because of their religion, all that stuff. So it's, if you know that about yourself, there's a lot of people that like, oh, don't say that you shouldn't say that in public, when actually themselves are perhaps a bit prejudiced.
I'm not saying I'm not prejudiced, everyone's prejudiced against something. We all are. But not, not against those kinds of things.
I don't have strong, I guess, because I don't really have strong views. Not really. Not strong, aggressive views where I won't back down.
I got strong views for some things, but I keep those hidden. Because I don't want people to poke that little bear in the cage that I keep hidden within myself. I don't want that little monster to arise.
So I don't tell people what my triggers are. Occasionally they get triggered, like all of us, we've got our triggers and occasionally someone will poke it and without knowing. But I, you know, it's, I don't know why I don't really have that.
Maybe it's because I've met so many people. I've been around a lot of gay people, lesbians, gay men, I've been around transsexuals, I've been around people from all over the world. When I lived in London, worked with people, dated lots of women from all over the world, different countries.
Haven't really extensively travelled, but I've been to a few, a couple of countries in the past. My best friend for 20 years was gay. So he basically educated me from a very early age, from the age of what, 18.
He educated, because I was, when I was 18, I wasn't anti-gay at all, but I was, I wasn't gay friendly, if that. Because I'd had a I'd had a man try and, when I was in the gym when I was a kid, when I was a teenager, about 16, had this man who came out of the sauna and he was kind of drying himself off and trying to entice me into the sauna with him and just, that just, I did go into a bit of a, a rant at him, quite aggressive.
I was going to hurt him to be fair, but I didn't, but, and it wasn't, it wasn't because of his sexuality, it was because for me, I was a kid, I was 16, I was a child still, and I was living on my own at that time, but regardless of that, I felt very unsafe, because, I mean, I didn't even lose my virginity until I was 19.
I had touched a boobie once, but, um, I, but, oh dear, now my grin doesn't count, let's, moving on, moving on, um, I, I, um, it was an accident, I didn't realise she was in the bath, and, uh, I, I, I, oh, what am I doing, uh, yeah, so that was weird, but I kind of, that was out of order anyway, so he, he's, he's getting himself in trouble doing stuff like that, but a couple of friends tried to take advantage of me as well, and I went into a big rant at them as well,
which was not nice, um, because I wasn't gay, you know, and ultimately, it's, it's just like, I've tried it on with a couple of lesbian women over the years, and, oh man, the response I got was awful, because it disgusted them, you know, being with a man to, I've been told by, and I spoke to a lot of lesbian women, the idea of being with a man is disgusting.
Now, a man can't say that they find gay, the gay act as disgusting, because then that's homophobic, but that is probably the point, that is probably the truth, and some people can't move past that, when actually, there's much more to, a person than their sexuality, you know, it's just heavy, isn't it, didn't mean it to be, sorry, okay, I'll talk about me really again, so it's, um, I feel I was quite lucky to have that education of being around, as I got, you know, as a young man, around lots of foreign people, lots of people
from India, Africa, and then later on, people from all different parts of Eastern Europe, so I kind of got to, it was weird, actually, when I came back, when I moved from London, I was on the bus, on the way to my Nan's, and, and on a gropey visit, and I, I thought there's something wrong here, there's something weird, I don't, I don't understand it, and I realized that it was just, I looked around, it's just all white faces, and I wasn't used to that, because for 12 years, I'd been living in East London, and
I hadn't been on a bus, um, because I never used to get on buses, because when I used to visit my Nan, and my Dad and that, I'd always get on the train, and then get a train there, so I never used to get on the buses in a local area, so I hadn't been on a bus full of white people, just solely white people for 12 years, and it's very strange, and it's very quiet as well, you get on a bus in East London, sometimes it's quiet, but sometimes it can be really noisy, it's
like a lot of activity, it's a very, um, there's a different energy in London to, I'd say anywhere, I would, I would challenge that wherever you are in the world right now, that as soon as you get off, let's say, if you, as soon as you walk into one of the main train stations in London, you know, Waterloo, Liverpool Street, Houston, um, whatever, you'll feel it, you'll feel there's a different energy.
Now, I'm not saying it's busier, or louder, because let's face it, go to India, or go to China, one of those places, um, go to a train station, or an underground station, it's going to be probably even busier, I don't know if they have, if India, they travel on the top of the train, on the underground, but they're busy, that's, that's like a lot of people, but London, there's a different energy, and I'm sure anyone that's been to London, from anywhere in the world, will probably agree, I mean, you might not necessarily think it's a
good energy, but it's, it's a, it's a different, a different, a different sense, a different, feels different, and I've, I've been around the country, I've been, I used to live in Newcastle, I used to live in Southend, I used to live in London, I've lived in Suffolk, I've lived in Essex, um, I've lived in, um, the South East, or South Coast, I've lived in Ireland, and that's a different country, but, so, and I've travelled to up North, I've been to Scotland when I was a kid, but I don't remember it, and I've been to Wales,
multiple holidays when I, and plus, went on a, I went to Wales three times as an adult, one of my friends lived up there, and also went on a Buddhist retreat, once or twice actually, might have been twice, and I've been in Nottingham, I've been, my best friend used to live there, I've been to Manchester, been to Liverpool, I've been to I've been on nearly all parts of the country, I've travelled through at least, not stopped at every single place, but I've been to nearly every part of this area, like the South of the country,
um, the middle of the country, and like the top of the country, I've never been to Leeds, I don't think, I might have travelled through Leeds on the way to somewhere, so there's some places I've not been, but I've kind of got an idea of the kind of rough area, and it is different in different places, I know, so you could say, well the energy's different everywhere, true, probably is actually, so I've got my new glasses, also, oh please talk about racism again, it really relaxes me, I wasn't talking about racism, I was just, I
was talking about the, not everybody that uses inappropriate words or language is actually a bad person, or is actually what you think they are, you know, people aren't as, people aren't as simple as that, they're not quite, you know, it's more two people, um, honestly, it's, I think it's, I don't know if I've been lucky or unlucky, but I've met a lot of, um, a lot of people from all, all types of kind of parts of society in my life, uh, mainly working class, I'll be honest, mainly like the lower, the lower side of society,
I've not had much to do with wealthy people, or rich people, or, um, toffs, or, so, you know, or, I guess in some ways highly educated, you know, like, um, really, um, yeah, like the politicians, a lot of them, those kinds of people that are just born into money, or have gone to private school and university and stuff, I've not met many people like that, and I suppose my life has been, it would have been better and more, my life's not over, is it, but my life would improve meeting people from that kind of situation,
that kind of background, because it, it made things a bit more even, because at the moment, you know, a lot of the people I know are, I don't know how to, like, um, I have to be careful, I don't want to be saying anything rude, but they're from, I get working class kind of background, like I am, you know, um, although I just don't work, but they're kind of, that kind of background, very much, uh, the lower end of society, rather than, um, not even the middle, like the middle bit, it would be people that
had done pretty well for themselves, or maybe, you know, own their own house, even, I don't know anyone that owns their own house, apart from my dad, and I live in a council estate, everyone I know really, pretty much lives the kind of life, you know, council estate kind of people, and there's nothing wrong with that, it's just, because council estates, um, were built for working class people, people were working, they weren't built for the unemployed, and there's still lots of people that live in council properties that work, there's also lots of people that don't
work, and I'm one of the ones that don't work, but I don't work through illness, you know, I've got disability, and it's a mental health disability, but it's still a disability, legally, and I don't work because of it, but I still try and contribute by doing these, by doing recordings, hypnosis recordings, and videos, maybe, I'm not sure about the videos anymore, but, you know, it's definitely the recordings, so I'm, you know, trying to contribute, and trying to do something with my life by helping others.
So what I've done is I've enrolled, this is something new, I've enrolled in a Diploma in Clinical Hypnotherapy course, which starts next month in April, and it's, it finishes, it's every month, there's 10 weekends, and then the final weekend, which is in January, the 11th weekend is the exam, so I'll have a Diploma in Clinical Hypnotherapy.
It is clinical, let me just check, wait a minute, let me find it, bookmarks, um, no, it's not the one, that's not the one at all, don't tell me I haven't bookmarked it, oh there it is, it's Practitioner Diploma in Clinical Hypnotherapy, so it's very much based on practice, like, you know, real, real life stuff, covering all different things, and I've got qualifications, my highest qualification is a Undergraduate Degree, I'm, is it BA, I'm not even sure what I got, it was Honours anyway, Honours Degree in Counselling Studies, but within that I got a Diploma
in Person Centred Counselling, so the first two years of the degree gave me that qualification, and then I got the third year gave me the degree, um, I'm also going to apply in July for a Open University course that starts in December, no it does start in October, and it will be to get an Undergraduate Degree, so it'll be a Degree in Psychology, and the idea behind that is, I can now get student help, student finance for that, and basically, I think I've probably told you this before, my degree, I got a third, and some
might say, well you might not, what's the point then if you got a third, it's rubbish, it's not a real degree, then what it was, I did pass, I got a third, the reason it's a third is because I didn't hand any of my coursework in on time for pretty much the last, the second half of the course, which I passed every piece of coursework I did, now some, not everyone did on my course, a few people didn't pass, and they did have to do it again, I passed everything first time, now not every one
of my grades was great, but it was a lot better than what it was at, it was capped at, I think 40, 40, I think, something like that, so that was the, that was the pass mark, 40, so and that, so I had about half of my coursework from the whole degree capped at 40, which meant when I went into the third year, the highest I could get would be a 2.
2, providing I handed in everything on time, and I got a really good grade, but I didn't hand in anything on time, and I didn't get a great grade on anything, but I got an okay grade, so actually no, if I'd have got an okay, I would have got a 2. 2, if I'd have handed the stuff in on time, even though the grades weren't brilliant, but I wasn't able to get a first, or even a second, I think that's what he said to me at the end of the second year, basically the third year, I think he might have said I might have been able to get a second, if I got really good grades on everything, but he said expect a 2.
2 based on your previous coursework, you know, grades and that, and I was getting like 60, 67, 68, 40 was the pass mark, obviously 99, 100 was very rare, although someone on my course got 100 percent in their dissertation, their final dissertation, which I think was the first person ever to get that, on that course anyway, in that for whatever how many years they've been running that course, she was pretty amazing, and very amazing, so the problem this has caused me though, having a third, is it's a degree, I passed, I have a degree with
honours, also got a certificate of achievement, which was handed to me on the graduation day, because of, I'd been ill during the period, I didn't know I had bipolar at that time, but I'd been, I had so much problems with depression and stuff like that, during the last two years, especially the last year, but I still got through, and I still kept going, and I still managed to hand the dissertation in, which is one of the hardest things I've ever done, and they gave me an award, I got a 50 pound token to spend in
somewhere, I can't remember, Marks and Spencers or something, so they recognised that I had really, because I didn't really understand why, I said why, because I didn't understand why, I said I don't understand why, why, and they said oh, just because of your accomplishments, because you, you kept going, even though you wanted to quit, you kept going regardless, now the fact is I had help, my friend, I can't really say her name on here, but my friend, she knows who she is, if she, she might be listening to this, and we're not friends anymore, for
some reason, I don't know, we just sort of split, went our own ways and that, we were kind of in a, I suppose, relationship, I suppose, for a while after college, but we were best friends, bestest friends, loved her to bits, without her I wouldn't have my degree, not just her, other people helped as well, but she was the, she was my emotional support during those three years, really, more the second and third year probably, because the, this year, after the first year, the second and third, we got really close, and she, the first year
I had support as well from other people, and so it wasn't just her, but she was the biggest, because I don't want to say, oh, it's thanks to her, when other people might, if they heard that, well, I was there for you as well, you know, I spoke to you on the phone, and I helped you with your coursework, and no, they did, other people did help, but I helped other people as well, okay, I didn't, I didn't help anyone, but I was there for them, okay, well, I wasn't there for them, but I was
there if they needed me, you know, could phone me anytime they want, like I had my phone off most of the time, but, you know what I'm saying, the, the, the feeling, the, of being, the, the pretense of being there was there, you know what I mean, innit, so, I do appreciate that, wow, it's 1923, blimey, that means the boxing started, I didn't think it was that late, wow, that's absolutely ridiculous, yeah, the boxing started, oops, there's a noise, I was so carried away, yabbering on about nothing, that I didn't realize it already started, damn,
so, yeah, so, I'm going to apply to do the degree course, and it's going to take six years, and, and, oh, the reason, there's two reasons, first of all, I love psychology, I'm very interested, have been since I was a kid, very interested in neuropsychology, or neuro, neurology, neuropsychology, neuroplasticity, all that, basically the brain, I'm interested in the brain, from a personal perspective, for me, as well as for other people close to me, that have had serious mental health issues, and done some stuff, and, you know, I kind of, I kind of want that explained
to me, I'd like to understand some of the things that I've done, why I've done it, and it's all to do with the brain, and how our brains are affected by what happens, and there's so, it's, I just, it just fascinates me, I actually bought two books on the brain today, that I started reading one, and I just love that stuff, very interested, and there is no undergraduate courses on neuropsychology, but in psychology, and that's part of the, that'll be part of the subject, so there'll be modules on it, on the brain, it's about the
psychology, I know it's about behaviour, and there's various different parts of psychology, you know, and I guess I've already got a degree in one part of it, which is counselling, like psychotherapy, counselling, talking therapies, I have knowledge in another part of, kind of a psychological thing with hypnosis, so I've got some knowledge, I guess, yeah, I have got some knowledge, I've read many, many books on psychotherapy, and counselling, long before I even did my counselling course, because I was being interested in it for a long, long time, plus I've been in counselling for many years,
been in therapy for so many years, which I think has helped, I might still come across as being completely batty, but I think I am better than, I'm better than I was, yes, better than I was, so we'll see, so yeah, that's my plan, to do that, because I can't do a masters, no masters will take me on, I can't do a masters, and that's what I was trying to do, and the longer it's gone, because it's literally, I finished my university course in 2010, so it's nearly 12 years ago that I finished my last
degree, and that was my last real study, studying that I did, I've studied since, but not on that level, so to go into a masters, perhaps would be too much, maybe I need to do an undergraduate first again, get back into the swing of it, it'll be a much slower pace, because you know, I'm doing it over six years, not three, unless I decide to do, I might do the first two years, and maybe I decide to do the, because there's 120 points a year, 360 for the honours degree, if I decide to do two
courses a year, I could get it done in three years, but I'm not going to do that for the first year, I'll just do one course, 60 point course, do that, see how I get on, the next year, do one course, see how I feel, and maybe in the third year, maybe I'll do two courses, or maybe I'll do three years, four years, maybe I'll do four years of one year courses, and then last year, maybe I'll do two courses, I don't know, see how I get on, because plus, I mean I'll be starting this
in October, but my diploma, the Practitioner Diploma in Clinical Hypnotherapy in London, will have finished in January, so October, November, December, so it's only a few months of doing both at the same time, and then I'll be able to focus, I think they normally finish in July, so October to July, and you start another one in October, and you know, go like that, so what I might do as well is maybe look at further hypnosis, hypnotherapy training, so more maybe advanced or something, and just keep going with that, and seeing how much more I can
learn, and the idea behind it is to use this information that I learn, these new techniques, these new ideas, or also being reminded of stuff that I already know, that maybe I've forgotten, or just not used for a while, through laziness, or just, I don't know, it's so much, I think, benefit that can come from doing the Practitioner Diploma in Clinical Hypnotherapy, I like, I'm reading off the screen, that's why I'm remembering it, there's, I think there's so much to be gained for me, and for those that listen to my hypnosis recordings, because I'm going
to be better, I'm going to be more, more, I will accomplish more, I will be, the area, it'll all improve, and hey, isn't that, that's a good thing, that's a win-win for everyone, and I might meet someone that's interested in hypnosis, because I don't know anybody that's interested in hypnosis, most people I meet that hear it, think that I'm a weirdo, and it's witchcraft, or something like that, you know, which it isn't, I do do witchcraft as well, but that's a separate thing, so might it be, so I'm going to go, so that's my little
plans, so I've got the courses, I've got my new glasses, which is cool, I've got my, I'm going to start that course in April, so literally in a month, less than a month's time, I think it's the first weekend in April, I think, and I'll, yeah, I'll be doing that, and then I'll stay in a hotel, because I'll have to, either that, or I'll have to leave really early in the morning, because the course starts at nine in the morning, so I live, it's about an hour on a train, and then you've got, however what
the distance is, the other side to travel to the destination, to the venue, there's a travelling from here to the train station, and then there's the getting up, and washing me balls, and stuff, I have something to eat, you know, so there's all that stuff, so I have to be getting up at six in the morning or something, and leaving here for seven, now actually I worked it out, I'd have to get the 6.
59 or 6. 49 train to get there, and the train gets there, it's something just after eight o'clock in the morning, because it's a slow train, about 10 past date, but then that would give me about 50 minutes, or something like that, and so that is still, the latest train I can get is 6.
49 in the morning, so I'll have to get up out of bed about five, in order for me to sort of get up, and you know, I mean there's been times in the past when I've gone to London to do a hypnosis course, and I've been, I've ran to the train station, and I've completely wrecked myself, in those in the days where I could run and not be too out of breath, but you know, I don't think I'd want to do it now, in fact today I nearly missed the bus, so I ran ahead of
the bus, sorted me out, with my arms out, I looked like Kermit the Frog, honestly my arms are just everywhere, and the lady stopped, which is nice, and it would be nice if the bus driver had stopped, maybe the lady bus driver stopped and let me on, I said thank you very much, and I went down into the bus, and I was out of breath for about four to five minutes, it took me to catch my breath, I mean realistically probably about four minutes, and I started to think, oh this isn't good, and then I
had to start, I started thinking positively, like okay, I'm out of breath because I just ran, very, it's quite fast, and that's why, that's the only reason, it's no big deal, I managed to calm myself down, and the breathing calmed down and everything, I think I was kind of hyperventilating or something, but I managed to calm myself down, but I really need to get myself a bit fitter, I have that little need, there's a little need there, if you know what I mean, if you know what I mean, yes, so those are my little plans
for the next, well for the coming year, Thailand, I still want to go to Thailand, but if I went, I can't go for more than, I can go, I probably could go for three weeks, it, well, I need to wait until all of the restrictions are dropped, I won't go until that happens, all the restrictions have to be dropped, and because it's just not worth it, and I've lost, I had some plans and it didn't go ahead, and I just, no, I can't go through that process, it has to be all dropped, and there's a
potential, there's a, you know, someone was on YouTube talking about it, she's a solicitor out there, and she said, and she's the one that mentioned the recent changes, and they all came into fruition, so the government are talking about dropping all of the restrictions in July, and so if that is the case, or 1st of July potentially, if that is the case, then I might go, but I might, I don't know, because now that I'm going to be busy, I'm going to be busy studying, from, well, to be fair, I've started studying now really, but,
because I want to really, because it's fun, but what I've been studying, I'm reading a hypnosis book, and I'm reading a book on the brain, because I'm now going to be studying, I don't know how much time I'm going to have to do other things, as well as do, because I need to keep doing the podcast as well, this is, this is really the most important thing that I do in my life, making recordings, so, and I know that maybe some would listen to this and thinking, well, why, why is this important, it's just you
talking absolute rubbish about nothing, you little racist, I'm not racist, stop it, I, yes, I think it's important what I do, I think it's important because people are listening, now, I'm sure it's not just the Klu Klux Klan that are listening to this, I'm the Klu Klux Klan's new spokesperson, I'm their poster boy, no, I'm pretty sure I'm not, if I was, I would just stop, blimey, how weird, and hopefully what I do is helping, and if it's helping, I want to continue, it helps me, in some ways, in a lot of ways, it gives
my life meaning and purpose, and that's not enough, it's not always enough, sometimes it's enough, it's not always enough, so there's other things, and there's, I forget his name, but there's a very famous person with his triangle of needs, and some of those needs are not being met, some of the needs that human beings have generally include love, I have no love in my life, so it's to those needs are not being met, since Andre is gone, I don't love anyone, I loved him, and I mean, to be around someone that you love, you know,
like every day or regularly, he's all I had, so that can be, I suppose, realistically, that can be corrected by just getting myself another pet, but I struggled with that idea, you know, and my friend, my friend, one of my friends said to me, it's not about, it's not about the object of your love, it's about the love that you give, it's, that's, that's, that's where the, the, that, that's, I don't know, that's, that's what's important, it's where it comes from, not the object of your love, so, you know, the idea, it's there, that's been
expressed, so, okay, maybe, but you don't understand, my little boy, he don't get it, he didn't, no one, no one gets it, because we're all different, no one knows what it's like for me, just like I don't know what it's like for anyone else to go through exactly the same thing, I don't know what it's like, because we're all different and we all feel differently about different things and experience things differently, see the world differently, hear it differently, smell it differently, taste it differently, yes, I'm reading books on brains, oh no, it started to sound
like you know what you're talking about, well, we know you don't, no, I don't, I make it all up, so, yeah, that's pretty much it really, got all the plans and the next year, well, hopefully, all being well, the next year is looking okay, and I'm gonna be sharing, the thing is, I'll be learning these, you know, maybe some new techniques, up-to-date techniques and I'll be able to put into practice instantly and have thousands and thousands of people listening to them and using those techniques and benefiting hopefully from them, so, what a brilliant position to
be in, don't you think, it's like, anyway, I'm gonna go, hope that wasn't too loud, that singing, dear Jason, I was very relaxed, I'm very tired, I'm very sleepy and I fell asleep and then suddenly I was woken up by your atrocious singing voice, I do apologize, in that case, I'm gonna count from 10 down to one, when I get to one, bloody well go to sleep, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, go to sleep.
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.