#800 Let me bore you to sleep - THANK YOU MAIRI, MARY & DIANA - Jason Newland (20th FEBRUARY 2022)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. It's very windy.

Yeah, only listen when you can safely close your eyes. See, yesterday we had, was it yesterday? Or was it Friday? I'm not sure. We had like really really really strong, no it's Friday, really strong wind.

And yesterday it's still a bit windy. Today it's windier than yesterday. Yesterday.

Not yesterday, yesterday. There are actually parts of this country that say that. They say yesterday.

Don't say yesterday, which is, well, that's how I was raised and born to say today, yesterday. It's, you know, Paul McCartney didn't sing yesterday. Love was such an easy game to play.

Now it seems as if they're far away. Oh, I believe in yesterday. No, it's yesterday.

I wonder why. I do wonder, because this is such a tiny, that's a weird phlegmy noise, tiny, such a tiny little spot on the planet, this country, tiny tiny little country. It's amazing the amount of different accents there are.

I mean, literally, you can travel 20 miles away, and it's a different accent. Liverpool and Manchester, they're practically next door to each other. Different accent.

You could say there's similarities to the accent, but it's a different accent. You've got Essex and Suffolk, 20 minutes between one town. And, you know, and there's a difference between talking like this, you know, you're going downtown, and you're like, boy, like, you know, to what? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes. Good groove. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. You're right, mate. I do.

Neither of those accents are very good, but literally 20 minutes away, completely different accent. I lived, I lived in a town in Suffolk, but it was, there were people that had like, wee, wee, like that, but there was also a lot of people that just spoke normally. Almost, you could say, posh, kind of quiet, but posh is just another word for well-spoken, you know, speaking correctly and pronouncing words properly.

Maybe, I don't know. Yeah, posh, posh, yeah, well, I'm posh. I'm very posh.

I'm actually upper class. I guess some of you didn't realize that about me. I'm upper class.

Where's my phone gone? That's weird. My phone's disappeared. Where is it? Oh, there it is.

I'm gonna go and get it. Wait a second. Right, I'm back.

I want to say thank you to a couple of people, but I've had problems sending emails to these people. So, basically, I wasn't able to do that. So, I want to say thank you here and now.

So, first of all, I had free PayPal gifts, which, you know, I rarely get any PayPal gifts, but it's nice, just like three in a row. It was just, what? What's going on? You must have known that I was a bit short of money this week, so that's handy. So, Mary, Mari, and Diana, thank you, all three of you.

I had a message from Mari. I know I pronounced it wrong. I'm sorry.

Hi, Jason. Still making me laugh and sleep. Best wishes, Mari.

Thank you. Mari. Mari? Mari.

I think it's Maria. Mari says, hope you're well. Hugs and kisses.

I miss your big fat. No, no, I shouldn't read that. So, thank you there, and Diana.

Didn't leave a message, but that's all right. Thank you, Mari, and Diana as well. As soon as I figure out what's wrong with the app and why it's not allowing me to send you a message, because I always do, so I'm going to click message, and it says, you're unable to send this user a message.

I don't know why. Click on the next one. Will it allow me? Because it might just be message.

You're unable to send this user a message. I don't understand why. So, what I might try and do.

Ah, maybe I can do it here. Thank you for kind. Okay.

Thank you. Maybe I'll be able to send it from here. It's possible.

I'm going to do it, see if it works. I think it has. Damn it.

So, I'm not sure why that is. I seem to have locked myself out of my email, which is weird, because my email is actually on my phone, and it's working fine. So, I don't quite know what's happened, if I'm honest.

I got Lulu sent me a message. She left a review on my website. It says, slumptime for years.

I'll do it in her voice. For years, I've suffered with insomnia. Now, I've discovered Jason.

I sleep and go back to sleep every night. Thank you, Jason. So, thank you, Lulu.

That's very kind of you. I appreciate reviews. If you're interested, or not interested, do it anyway.

If you're interested, maybe leave a review or, you know, comment and stuff on our website. If you want to, if there's like, maybe a particular recording that you enjoy, or maybe overall, you just want to leave a message about the overall, about the overalls, about the general, general, your general feelings about the podcasts that I produce. Maybe, as long as it's nice, don't leave horrible reviews, please.

I won't, I'll delete them anyway, so they won't be published, so there's no point in that. I get to see them, I suppose, from that angle. Yeah, lovely.

Yeah, so I need more negativity in my life. Yeah, give me more negativity. No, very much into trying to be more positive.

I'll tell you why. There's, there's a psychological thing, especially with positive psychology, and they've kind of come to, through studies and stuff, that we've all got a kind of base level of positivity and happiness, feelings, you know, the way we feel. If we, you know, they go on, I know the old cliche, toilet half empty, half full, you know, thing.

So I, they say like, you know, some people, if they kind of, no matter what you do, like if you win the lottery, or you have something really bad happens, or whatever, we're obviously affected hugely by these things. You know, if there's a bereavement, or if there's, you know, you lose your job or something, or if you meet someone, or you, you know, you have a baby, or you know, something like just life changing happiness kind of situation, or misery, depending on your, your look upon things, then we tend to always kind of go back to our base level of happiness or positivity. Regardless of what happens, it changes, obviously, you know, it's going to change.

Obviously, I mean, that is pretty obvious. I try not to say the word obviously, because I notice people do that sometimes. And they say obvious, just before something that isn't obvious.

I'd be interviewed for the first time by someone who's never met them before. And they're using the words obvious. Well, obviously, she's my wife.

And well, no, that wasn't obvious. I thought she was your sister. I was hoping she was your sister, because I was going to ask her out.

It wasn't obvious at all. And, and people say, obviously, keep saying it. Obviously, obviously, and they've learned it from someone else.

It's not their own doing. It's they've, they've sort of took on that. It's like germs, people catch that, don't they? You know, I mean, you know, someone sometimes continuously saying, you know, I mean, and I used to do that because I wanted to be Frank Bruno.

And he was famous for saying, you know, I mean, Harry, you know, I mean, yeah. He punched me, Harry. He was a boxer.

And he was a hero of mine. So I wanted to be like him. Now, there wasn't much I could do to be like him, physically.

Because he was a huge black man, full of muscles. Six foot two, six foot three, whatever. And heavyweight boxer became world champion.

Couldn't really copy any of those attributes. But I could copy some of the things he said. So that was the nearest I could get to being like him.

And I love Frank Bruno, I still do love Frank Bruno. And he is very well to me, you know, he's a very, for those who don't know who Frank Bruno is. He is a legend in this country, not just for boxing, just for being for various different levels.

He's, at the time he was a celebrity. So I grew up with him being a celebrity. I was in my, I mean, I think he started boxing, I think in the late 70s.

Or earlier, you know, 1980 or 81 or something like that. So I was still a young child, I was about 10 or 11. And so I kind of grew up in those years with him being on telly, fighting.

And I didn't really, didn't really appreciate him as a boxer, to start with, because he was a celebrity. So he was on television, and making people laugh. And that's how I really first got to know him.

Because it'd be on Saturday evening TV shows, and things like that. It was only really about 1984, maybe 83, 84, when I first started watching his fights or listening to them on the radio. That's when I became really, really into boxing.

84, 85. Around the time when, what's his name, the Hagler-Herns fight came. So the period leading up to the Hagler-Herns, for some, and I was watching boxing, and for some reason, I caught the bug.

Like, I'd been watching boxing all my life. It'd been on television, it used to be on Saturday mornings. Not Saturday mornings, Saturday afternoons on the sports.

Because I grew up with three channels. Until about 1980, and then Channel 4 came along. So we had, and this is weird, anyone, imagine if you're in America, the idea, I imagine, of just having three television channels, must be mind-blowing.

Like, three channels. Three. Three channels, I have five television sets.

Just three TV, honestly, it was. But, Saturdays, the mornings used to be children's programs. Like cartoons, and various different children's programs.

They changed throughout my childhood, and they're still, they're going. But now, it's different. Things have changed now, but there's children's television channels devoted to that stuff now.

But in the afternoon, there was sports. Now, there'd be football and stuff like that, but, and wrestling, and other things. But quite often, they'd have boxing on.

They'd show, like, one fight, one boxing, a whole fight, and I'd watch it. But I wasn't interested, if you know what I mean. I didn't, because they weren't people that I knew, and I didn't, I wasn't really very up-to-date on, like, now.

It's probably the thing I know, not most about, but it's, it's the only sport that I love, is boxing. And, well, last night, I was watching boxing from, I think, 8 o'clock in the afternoon, in the evening, until, I think, 5 o'clock in the morning. So, there's, yeah, there's two, there's a live show in the UK, and then there's a live show in America.

So, my one finished at about 11, and then the next one started at 2. So, there's, I do watch a fair bit of boxing. I love it. But I didn't fall in love with boxing until, even though I'd watched it, kind of, all my life.

I fell in love with it about, I think it was 85, actually. Maybe 84. And the, the time, when I really, you know, to the point of, I was at school, looking forward to going home, so I could watch the fight, the boxing, in the evening.

So, that, that's kind of where I was, the level of, I was just really, really got into it. And, as I said, it's a build-up to the Hagler-Hearns, Marvin Hagler and Thomas the Hitman Hearns fight, which was a classic fight, classed as the best, the best two rounds in boxing history. It probably wasn't the best two rounds, but it was pretty brilliant.

And the, the build-up to it was Hagler and Hearns both fighting other opponents. So, this is a good six months before they fought. And it was like, if they got through their opponents, then they would go on to fight each other.

Hearns was coming up from a lower weight to come up to middle weight. Hagler, he actually passed away last year. Marvin Hagler was a middleweight.

I mean, even after he retired, he looked the same. He didn't, I know he didn't have, he had clothes on, so I couldn't see, you know, but he didn't seem to put weight on. He, like a lot of boxers, they might only be featherweight, they might only be boxing at like eight and a half stone or nine stone, something ridiculously low like that.

And then they retire and they end up being bigger than me. They're walking around like 15 stone, which is amazing on a four foot three man, but because some boxers, they don't, they, they walk around between fights a lot heavier than they are actually on the night. And some of them use that to their advantage and some of them actually get caught out by it because they, they lose loads of weight just before the fight, or just before they get weighed the day before the fight.

So they get down to, let's say 10 stone, let's use kilos or no pounds, that maybe is easier for people. So let's say, say 150 pounds. So they'll go in and they'll go on the scales and they'll hit the 150 mark and then they'll eat and pig themselves for the next 24 hours.

And they'll end up coming into the ring, 160 pounds. So they'll actually perhaps be a lot bigger than the other bloke. And the lower the weights are, the more effect that can have because if someone's in the ring, eight stone, which is, I don't know, was that a hundred pounds? I'm not sure.

But eight stone is very light. But imagine if they were able to go in at eight and a half stone after really, you know, losing weight because they're normally walking around at maybe 10 and a half stone. So again, so it's down to eight stone.

It affects some boxes, the dehydration really affects them and they end up very weak. But others manage to just get through it, get on the scales and as soon as they get off the scales, you know, they're basically straight away they jump into a big bowl of soup and just start drinking and eating and just, you know, for the next 20 hours or something. And then they go in and they look like a middleweight, not a featherweight.

I'm exaggerating a little bit, but I think that's okay. I think it's fine. It's okay to exaggerate.

There's no rules. There's no rules. Blimey, if I didn't exaggerate, what would I talk about? Hey, what would I talk about? A hobby, I think it's something you do for yourself.

To me, I mean, doesn't mean you haven't got to agree with it. But to me, a hobby is something you do for yourself for your own enjoyment. I don't do this for myself for my own enjoyment only.

I do do this for myself. But I don't do it for myself. I mean, for example, if I was just doing this and I had, I don't know, let's say I had 100 people listening a day, then I probably wouldn't do it.

So it's not just for myself. Otherwise, I would do it regardless. If it was just for myself, I wouldn't publish the recordings.

I wouldn't allow anyone else to listen. I'd just record them for myself, have a chuckle, and then I'd just maybe delete it or store it on my computer. Just for me.

That would be doing it just for myself. So I ain't, if you know what I mean. I ain't, I ain't, I ain't.

So there. I'm not doing it just for myself. No, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. So I don't class this as a hobby. I've had a couple of people in the past told me, well, if you do something, you don't earn any money out of it.

Then it's a hobby in it. No. You.

It's not necessarily. But these are people. This family, family members have said this to me, but they can't understand the concept of doing things for other people.

They can't grasp that concept of helping others, people they don't know. They'll help them like family and friends, you know, it's like most people do, you know, so it's not that they're uncaring, but they don't care about people they don't know about. They get the idea of helping others and the idea of spending their own money to help other people is beyond their, their ability.

They can't comprehend that. They can't comprehend that maybe I've spent 30 grand for it, maybe 35, 40 grand since I've been doing this. That's over a long period of time to provide this service, this free service.

So, I mean, I'm including the other now because I've got in debt a bit with some of the new equipment that I bought, but they can't like, why would you spend money on something to help other people? And it always comes back to charity begins at home. It's that brainless, almost just, it's just, it's just brainless saying that that's up there with there's no smoke without fire. You idiot.

So every single person, this is what you're saying, no smoke without fire. Every single, every single person that's ever been accused of something is guilty. That's what you're saying, basically, isn't it? There's no smoke without fire.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. If it's going to be, it's going to be. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Everything happens for a reason. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, okay, okay, fair enough.

Charity begins at home. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, anyone who says that, if they say that to you, just remind them or just point out that they don't understand the concept of charity.

Helping your family and your friends is not charity. That is not the meaning of the word. It's not about helping your own family and friends.

Helping your family and friends means that you're just a human being and you're doing what is natural. You know, if you're helping your family, it means you're a good son or you're a good father or you're a good brother. You're just doing what is what most people would do.

You know, if your dad or your son comes to you or your daughter or whatever, they need help, you help them. If you go on with them, if you have that kind of relationship. I mean, you know, if I if I if I need help financially in an emergency, I ask my dad and I say, OK, the same as with him.

If he's if he's in an emergency, he needs money. I want to answer the phone. I don't know.

I'll say no. If he gets through, I say no. You're an adult.

You should have sorted this out yourself. You made your bed. You got a lie in it.

That's another one, isn't it? You made your bed. You got a lie in it. In other words, I don't care one bit about your situation.

You made your bed. What is wrong with people? Charity because they're at home. No, it doesn't.

You don't get it. This doesn't mean it doesn't even make sense. No smoke without fire.

Doesn't make sense. What's the other one? Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Yeah.

OK. Not totally true, either, is it? There's plenty of things that get you well, and actually you end up being weaker because of it. It's just crazy.

Where do these stupid sayings come from? All it does is make people sound really, really dumb when they say it. And they're not dumb. Not dumb people.

I don't think anyone's really dumb. I know I do as well. We all say dumb things at times.

And we look and sound really, really dumb. I know I do. Everybody does.

I've not met one person ever that hasn't said stuff that I think is dumb. But that's not all they are. I've met people that have got the most disgusting views about women, about race, about politics, about foreigners, about sexuality.

But some of those people are some of the nicest people I've known. They just have that issue. They have that little thing in their head that can't get their little mind around the idea that other people have different opinions and that other people live their lives differently.

They can't overcome that mental block that must have been implanted as a child, must have been... Well, I can't think of any other way that someone would be an adult and still be anti-gay. There's got to be something wrong with their brains. Or they're just carrying on that kind of hatred that's come from learning it in childhood.

It's hard though, you know, because I was brought up to be anti-everything. Including anti-me. I was brought up to think I was stupid.

I was brought up to be racist, to be homophobic, to be sexist, to be... What other ones are there? All of them. But it wasn't just like parents and stuff. The whole community, the whole of society in the 70s, it was a racist society, it was a homophobic society.

It was anti pretty much anything that wasn't the norm, whatever the norm was. In the 70s, it was perfectly fine to use racial language. It wasn't, but it was, if you know what I mean.

It socially wasn't an issue. It was an issue if you did it to someone and they beat you up, but it was just normal. And you can see this on sitcoms of the 70s and the 80s where using racial language, racially charged language, homophobic language was normal.

It was absolute, it wasn't like shocking or anything, it was normal language which people used to describe someone. So a lot of the time, people weren't actually being racist or homophobic, they were just using the words to describe those particular groups. And it wasn't necessarily that they had any issue with it, it's just the terminology that was used back then.

And then once we got into probably the 90s, things started to change. And if you're born in a, especially, well, I don't know, maybe everywhere, but if you're born in a tiny little town. I wasn't born in a town, but I lived from the age of 7 to the age of 18.

So 11 years, the very quite important years, you know, going through high school and getting my first job. So for quite a few periods, 11, 12 years, I lived in this tiny little racist town. Homophobic, racist, sexist, everything.

But it's not that they were all hateful, they just, the only Chinese people that lived there were the people that had Chinese restaurants. There was a Chinese takeaway, it was a handful of Chinese people. The only people from, let's say an Indian or, I don't know what the correct term is anyway, but they had an Indian restaurant.

And I think there was a Turkish person that had a kebab shop. It was, literally that was it. There was no other, there wasn't any, it wasn't a multi, it was the complete opposite to multicultural in the town that I lived.

Now I was born in London, so, you know, that's very different. And I moved back to London, the first opportunity, when I was 18. And that was, that was good to get away, to get away.

But it was very strange to suddenly be around, be in an environment that I wasn't used to. Walking down the street or being on a bus and not being able to understand anything that anyone was saying. Because it was, and it was loud.

And that was an unusual, it was a very, a culture shock. And it was annoying at times because if someone's going to talk loudly on a bus, I want to at least be able to hear what they're saying. Understand what they're saying.

If two people are having an argument or someone's on the phone arguing or talking romantically even, I want to understand, I want to be able to hear it. So I can like, it's something to do isn't it? I can listen to the conversation. But you can't do it if someone's talking in a, in a different language.

I mean to me it just sounded like noise. And there was literally a bus full of people all practically yelling at each other. In a really, you know, various different languages and I just didn't understand it.

You know, so I felt a little bit alienated if I'm honest. A little bit alienated. I mean there was one time I worked in a bakery in 1991.

And the, in the actual bakery itself when I, first I worked in a canteen and then I moved to the bakery. And it's weird the way the, the, the cultures were cut or the different types of different foreigners were living or like working together. So in the canteen, all English speaking people, mainly English people.

There was, there was an African queen worked there. She thought she was a queen. And apparently, or princess, apparently she said she was a princess where she came from but we all laughed at her.

And, but that was the canteen and then the different parts of the bakery had different types of, different nationalities if you want to call it. So in the delivery section where they used to load the lorries up, all English. And like for different, you know, white, black, whatever, but all English people.

But then in the actual bakery itself where they made the bread, all the supervisors were English. The management, English. I say English, they weren't of English.

I think the, the manager, the overall manager and in the second in command, they were brothers and they were both Turkish. And I got on really well with them, really well. If I'd stayed, guaranteed I'd have been, I'd have been promoted to supervisor within probably six months.

And then gone on, you know, because they wanted people, first of all, people that they liked. They, you know, to be in charge. People they trusted and liked and they could talk to because 95% of the people working there didn't speak English.

Or maybe they did speak English, but they, they chose not to. So that would have been, I guess, a bonus for me, but made a very, very difficult working environment and very dangerous as well. Because you work in a place like that with hot ovens, we're talking industrial ovens, huge bakery, one of the biggest bakeries in the country, if not the biggest, massive.

And people were yelling, but you didn't know what they were saying because they were yelling in a different language. And the same if I was yelling, I was yelling in a different language to them. So the safety issue, the safety situation was scary, really.

Because if someone shouted to me, oh, look out behind you, there's a lion. I wouldn't know what they were saying. Before I know it, I'm in this, I'm in a sandwich being eaten by the lion.

So it was strange because in, I think it was, I'm going to use the word Indian because some of them might be from Bangladesh, from Pakistan, from different places. I don't know what the correct term is for Asian, Pacific Asian or something. Because when I think of Asian, I think of like China and Thailand and that kind of, but Indian is also Asian, isn't it? I don't know what the correct term is.

I just want you to know, I'm not, I'm not purposely not saying the correct term. I'm just not sure what it is. I also don't care what it is either, to be honest.

But, so there was people there from, let's say India. There's also people from Africa. But the percentage probably out of those, I would say probably over 90% Indian who worked there.

Or in, from the Indian area, India area. And probably 1% English, if that, like in the actual bakery itself, 1% English. I was probably, I think there was only about two or three English people that I met.

And I did different shifts and there was a couple. And when I say English, I'm talking about any, you know, not just white, I'm just English people that were born in England. There was a very, only a few.

But the rest, there was probably about 6, 7%, maybe 8% African. And I found it easier to communicate with the Africans because some of them were French. You know, they did speak English and I was, I don't know why, I was, not that I didn't get on with Indian people.

But I was, yeah, all the way through my adulthood, once I was in London, I worked with a lot of Africans. African men. And I got on with all of them.

Always got on with them. I don't know why. Just, they're funny.

Just same sense of humour. Just really, like, had a good communication with them. Even if they didn't speak great English, it didn't matter.

Because, you know, there's ways of communicating. And their English was always better than my African. I know that's not a language.

I'm just trying to think. Is it a language? Botswana or, I don't know, there's lots of different dialects, isn't there? Lots of different languages in Africa. Including French.

And probably Spanish, I imagine. So yeah, I didn't, yeah, I could communicate. What I found with the Indian workers is they very much kept themselves to each other.

But there's so many of them, they didn't need to bother with me. And I made friends with a few of them. But I knew them already from the canteen.

So I already had a few people that I'd say hello to. And they'd laugh, we'd have a laugh with. So there was a few people.

And also I got to know a few when I was working in the actual bakery itself. But there was so many people working there. Hundreds of people working there.

So it was the journey back. I used to get, at one point I got a coach or this little mini bus that would take me back to just up the road from where I lived. Because it was quite a journey.

And because we were doing shifts, sometimes I'd end up doing double shifts. And that was just, you know, it was hard. By the time I got home, I was, I just collapsed on the bed, that would be it.

Because I wasn't, it wasn't just that I'd been awake for such a long time. And the double shifts always ended up being nights as well. So that'd mess things up.

But I was physically, absolutely physically drained. Because it was hard work in temperatures that's just not human. And now I'm thinking, because I want to go to Thailand.

And I'm thinking, the temperature in the bakery is probably about how much it is in Thailand. Which means I'd hate it. I'm not into high temperatures.

I'm not saying I love the cold, because I don't. I genuinely don't love the cold. But I don't mind cool.

You know, when it comes to springtime, that's among my favourite time. Sort of April time, March, April. We're coming up to March now.

So March and April are two of my favourite months. Because it's almost the beginning of something new. You know, the possibilities of something, you know, something really cool to happen.

And the weather's changed. The weather's nicer. Yeah, it rains a bit.

Especially, it's a cliche isn't it, the April rains. The rains of April. So, but the temperature's changed.

And as I got older, especially with my arthritic back. Because now I've got arthritis in my lower back. The weather has, the temperature and stuff does affect it.

I thought that was just bull. I really did. People moaned about their pain.

Like, oh yeah, it's the weather. It's the weather that affects my pain. I'm like, what are you talking about? How can the weather affect how you physically feel in your, stop it, you're being silly.

But as we now know, the weather can affect our moods. So, and they can affect the temperatures and stuff, can affect if it's raining, if it's wet, damp. It can affect us.

Physically. Someone with asthma or some kind of lung issue. Even in the past, maybe we'd get told, move somewhere warmer if you can.

Somewhere drier. So in America, that's what happened I think to Milton Erickson. He was the king of hypnosis.

Milton Erickson. He was, he had physical pain. But he also had, I think he had maybe issues with his lungs, maybe his asthmatic, I forget.

But his doctor advised him to move away from, I think it might be in California, to go and live in Phoenix because of the desert. And because of the air being drier, being better for him, for his body. So he did.

And became the king of Phoenix. A lot of famous people come out of Phoenix. A lot.

Phoenix, Arizona. I'm going to go to Phoenix one day. I want to do a bit of a homage.

Is it a homage? To Milton Erickson. I want to go and maybe visit his house where he used to work from. Because I'm guessing it still would be there.

And kept as a shrine kind of to him. I might be wrong, but I'm sure I saw something where they turned some stuff into like a museum. In his name.

So that would be good to visit. Maybe visit his grave. Just, you know, just something that I'd like to personally do, that's all.

Don't judge me, I want to do it. It's nothing to do with you. I ain't got to ask your permission.

No. Sit there. Oh, see.

So. How did I get onto the subject of the bakery? So do a communication, but I forget what it was. But I found that a bit difficult because I'm not grown up with that.

To be fair, the amount of miscommunication that I've had with people that speak English is ridiculous. So miscommunication with someone that doesn't speak English is basically, it's almost pointless trying to communicate sometimes. Which is annoying because there's been times when I've wanted to communicate.

And I remember there was this young lady that I liked. And she worked in a, what did she do? I think she was a cleaner. Or she worked in this shop or something.

And I really, really liked her. I fancied her, that's what I mean. And I tried to talk to her and there was no communication.

She literally, I mean she might have been pretending to be fair, but no English. And she just looked at me like, just waved her hands and then went away. And I didn't know how to communicate and it was pointless.

I mean what, you can't, how is it even possible to have a relationship with someone you can't communicate with? I've dated lots of foreign women who spoke some English. And there was that delay, that lack of communication in the sense of, but it went in my favour. Because it took longer for them to realise that I was a knobhead.

So they thought I was nice until they realised what I was saying. And they thought, oh. And then it obviously ended.

But at least I got a couple of kisses and stuff. At least I got to hold one of their hands. I touched a knee once.

I remember, you know it's weird, you know when the most simple thing turns into a big deal. And like, oh, oh. I took this girl out.

And I say girl because I was a kid myself, I was a teenager. Probably 16, 17. So I took this girl out to the cinema.

I can't remember who she was or where she was from or anything. But I asked her to go to the cinema and she said yes. So I figured she must be interested.

Otherwise why, unless she just wanted to see the movie. And because I was paying. She thought I was paying.

But anyway. I'll tell you what movie it was. I think it was, I think.

No, I forget. I thought it might be Never Say Never Again. James Bond movie, but no, I'm not sure.

No, I can't, I can't remember. Which is weird because I do remember certain movies that I've gone to see with girlfriends. Anyway, before I tell you about those, I was about to go off on a different direction then.

I can't remember why I was talking about the bakery. It was, I don't know. Oh yeah, some people with, let's say anti-social views.

Could still be some of the nicest people. It's weird. Because if you, if you are, I don't know.

I guess fragile, really fragile. That you have to, you can only be around someone that agrees. And has the same, the same thoughts and opinions that you have.

Then, yeah. If you're in that position then, you know, you're going to, well. You're going to have a really, really hard life.

And you're going to be constantly in turmoil. And, you know, every time you think, oh, I found someone I could be friends with. Or be in a relationship with.

And one day they'll, something will pop out of their mouth that you don't like. It's true. It's, mmm.

I mean, I dated a girl back in 95. And in some ways she was the most perfect. She wasn't a girl, she was 20.

She was older than me. I was, I was 25. And she was, I think about 27.

Not a lot of difference. But she was kind of perfect for me. For what I wanted.

Or what I looked for in a lady. I got on really well with her. She was softly spoken.

She was beautiful. And other stuff. And she was very beautiful.

She had long dark hair. Just, yeah. Anyway.

One day she popped this bunch of racist stuff popped out of her mouth. And I thought, I'm not sure if I like you anymore. But I still want to continue doing what we were doing half an hour ago.

I want to, it's weird. It's almost like, we don't see eye to eye on everything. But do we need to? I mean, there's a fine line.

Obviously if she was going out to Klu Klux Klan meetings. Then yeah, I think we would have been incompatible. But she said she stopped going to them.

So I believed her. I was at this cinema with this lady. This girl, whatever her name was.

And I put my hand on her knee. Okay, I was thinking. She seemed to have everything hidden.

Honestly. I mean, it's almost like she turned herself inside out. There was no part of her body on show.

She had clothes on, but I just couldn't see. Like she'd kind of almost locked herself away from me. Her breasts were in her bag.

Her hands were in a different chair. Her head was, I think she left her head in the toilet. There was nothing, I just couldn't.

I wanted to make a move. So I couldn't kiss her. I couldn't hold her hand.

Because I know today's society is devolving or changing. Whatever you want to call it. And you can't almost need permission to talk to people nowadays.

I know that's a bit over the top. You should go to the cinema with someone. And it would be a place where you go to make out.

Kiss them, hold hands, cuddle, whatever. But you know what? At that point, I'd never been, this is what I'd seen in movies. I'd never been to the cinema with a girl before.

As a kind of, apart from when I was a little kid. I think I got a kiss that time as well, so that was good. I was only 8. She was 34, no I was 8. And I put my hand on her knee.

And she grabbed it. And removed it from her knee. Now it like, I was annoyed because I had to walk all the way up to the back row.

Because that's where her knee was. She moved her body parts all over the place, it's weird. And the thing is, I could live to be a million years old.

And I would never get any pleasure out of touching someone's knee. There's no physical or emotional enjoyment to me, to touch a knee. It's just a bit of bone.

There's nothing, I know people like different things. The amount of people that love feet is amazing. Feet, there are people who's, the only thing that gets them where they want to be is feet.

And you could say, well yeah that's the same for everyone. The feet, my feet get me where I want to be. No, I don't mean as in travelling and walking around I'm talking about.

On a, how should I describe it? The, you know what I mean, I ain't got to say it out loud. It's the thing that gets them going. Nothing gets them, that gives them more enjoyment than looking or being involved in someone's feet.

And I don't get it, I really don't. I don't see, I'm not disgusted by feet. Some feet I am.

But as a whole I'm not disgusted by feet. Some people really are just, urgh, feet, urgh. And then some people are, urgh, feet.

So you know, it's a real extreme. And I never really understood the interest in feet. I mean, I genuinely cannot see one thing about feet that's pleasurable.

It's nothing. To me that's like getting excited about someone's elbow. Urgh.

I mean, I don't, I'm not judging, I just don't understand it. It's the same, it's just, everybody's got their own thing, haven't they? And, but sometimes I can get it, you know. Some people say, oh I'm a bum, I like bums, I like a bum.

I like my man's bum or my girlfriend's bum. And I'm like, okay, on one level I'm thinking, well, urgh. You know, I don't know.

I'm not really sure if it's, I don't really get what you're seeing and why you're enjoying that. But there's pleasure to be had from your bum, but it's quite a sensitive place. I had a massage once and they went quite low down and sort of the top of my bum area, my buttocks.

And it felt so nice. It was a genuine massage, by the way. It was genuinely sexy.

No, it was a genuine, genuinely expensive. No, it was a genuine massage. It was a genuine orgasm.

No, it was a genuine massage, it was. There was the options, but no, it was a genuine massage. She offered, but no, it was genuine.

And I was like, oh, that area between your lower back and sort of the beginning of your buttocks. It's such a, I think it's sort of, it's almost an untouched area generally. Unless you rub yourself against a tree or you touch your own.

I mean, to reach your lower back and stuff, it's not always that easy to really get any kind of pressure on it. So I like to rub myself against a doorpost and massage my back muscles that way. But the point is, I touched her knee and I mean, in today's world, I don't know if that would even, would that be even acceptable? I don't know, without a written contract.

I'm not sure. I also don't care. I don't, I really don't care.

But then I wouldn't date someone now that was, or go on a date with someone that was so vague. So, so I have dated girls, women in the past, and I really didn't know if they even liked me. There was no, it was almost as if I was just there to have a cup of tea with them.

And they were going to leave. Instead of being, you know, I just got distracted by the wind. Someone else just walked in with some batteries.

They haven't, but that was what I was daydreaming. I don't know why. I don't need any batteries, I don't think.

All right, okay, so, yeah, touching someone's knee. So maybe it's not on anymore to do that. But since that time, I'd only go to the cinema with someone that I was dating.

I wouldn't go to the cinema on a first date, really. It's, first of all, cinema's better for someone that you're already dating or you're living with. Because you're not allowed to talk for a couple of hours.

When you're in there, you're not really allowed to just talk away. And that's nice, because that's relaxing. Because that might give you the only bit of peace that you have with that person.

Because they might be going on and on and on and on and on, continuously talking. Like me, like me do. I do that.

And so, yeah, you just give up. I give up. So at least you know where you are.

If you're living with someone or whatever, you know that you can probably be holding their hands at some point. I do tend to fall asleep sometimes when I make these recordings. I fall asleep, man.

I do, really. And I start dreaming. And I was like... Anyway.

That's about it, I think. I held her hand. So, I'm going to go now.

Thank you. For listening. Take care of yourself.

Remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy. Be gentle with yourself. Don't go around holding people's knees.

Leave people's knees alone. Learn from me. And those of you that like feet.

Evil! You're evil! Hey, who cares? What does it matter? If you love feet, enjoy feet. If you're into knees, enjoy knees. I mean, the good thing about that is you might have a... Well, not you, but for example me.

I'll just talk, I'll focus on myself. Obviously we all know that I'm the perfect specimen as a human being. The perfect man.

And... You know... You can't really improve upon perfection, can you? Or, if we're honest... I might not have much going for me physically. So I might meet a woman... Who overlooks the fact that I'm overweight. That maybe I haven't got much in the way of hair anymore.

But it's because I shaved it, to be fair. Or other imperfections that I have. But she might really like my feet.

And she might be into my feet. And that's the thing that attracts... That's the thing that she's most attracted to me physically. Now I might be really attracted to her... And find her gorgeous.

So that's a win-win situation for me, isn't it? She's attracted to my feet. Which is something I haven't got any control over, they're just feet. And she's so attracted to my feet that she's overlooking... She doesn't care about... My weight or... The farting or... Or whatever else might happen.

Or the age. But she might just like... She just wants my feet. That's a win-win, winny-win-win situation, isn't it? That's a perfect situation.

Plus, I love my feet being touched and massaged and stuff. So, she can do what she wants with my feet. As long as she doesn't hurt me, I'm fine.

I love having my feet touched. Not tickled. Don't like that.

But just, you know... A nice oily massage. Oh... Beautiful. That's something that I want to... If I go... When I get to Thailand, it's only going to be for a holiday.

To start... Whether I move there one day, I don't know, but... Thinking about it... It might be for a long time. But, you know, just to go... To go on holiday... I will have a foot massage every day. A nice oily foot massage.

Because it's so soothing. It's so relaxing. It's so healing.

It's lovely. And I'll have a manicure. No, a pedicure, that's it.

I'll have my feet... And toenails cut. And... All that stuff. So it'll be brilliant.

You might say, that's a long way to go. To have your toenails cut. Yeah, it is, but... What's it got to do with you? Yeah... Right, I'm going to go.

I'm not sure if I actually completed any of the particular subjects I was talking about. But... Never mind. Take care.

Bye. See you tomorrow.