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Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com and LetMeBoreYouToSleep dot com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.
Mmm. Well hello. How are you getting on? Are you alright? Are you sure well? Eh? Eh? Well.
What was I going to say? Not sure. I haven't made a recording for a few days but I'm here now. Oh.
Yeah. That's the main thing isn't it? I'm here now. Oh.
So yeah. I'll start coughing now. Am I brilliant? Hope not.
Yeah. Right. Um.
So what I've been. I had a really weird thing happen earlier. Really weird.
So I had a roast dinner. I'm not used to eating much like per serving. You know.
But I stuffed my face. I probably ate double what I would normally eat in one sitting. Now that's not to say that it was a huge amount.
I just don't normally eat much. If you had a plate full of food you could half it and that would be the amount that I'd eat. I rarely eat the whole meal.
I just don't. I just don't eat. I just don't eat much at a time.
I haven't done for a long long long time. Anyway. I stuffed my face.
Because it was lovely. It was like oh. Roast dinner.
I stuffed it in. I shoveled it in me old gob. Anyway.
A couple of hours later. I was in tremendous pain. And that's a wrong word isn't it? Tremendous is such a positive word.
It shouldn't be used connected with pain. He's suffering tremendous grief. No.
Tremendous is a wonderful word. It shouldn't be used. Don't you think? The word tremendous should be banned from being used in connection with something negative or something unpleasant let's say.
Anyway. I had wonderful wonderful pain in my stomach. Beautiful amount of.
Oh it was so great. Great amount. Great great pain.
Again great. That's a positive word isn't it? It's great. I suppose it's great casualties.
Again it's wrong. Let's stop using those wonderful words for in a negative context. Anyway.
I'll move on. My stomach. I was having pains in my stomach.
I felt weird in my chest. I thought oh is this a hospital visit? I didn't know if I needed to fart. I didn't know if it was gas.
I'm usually quite in touch with my farting capacity. And I didn't know if I was going to throw up. Honestly I didn't.
I felt very ill. Very ill. At one point I went outside and just stood there for about 10 minutes.
Just trying to get my bearings. Like how do I feel? Is this an ambulance? Is this what what is this gonna? I realized it was just a garden fence. I was delirious at the time.
Delusional unlike the rest of the time. Anyway. I felt awful.
Now what I'd done I think. I think I caused this myself. Firstly by stuffing myself.
And then by reclining practically flat on my sofa. It's a recliner and I laid all the way back. And I fell asleep and I woke up in pain.
So I think I didn't allow my food to digest properly. And I took some Gaviscon. I took one of my acid reflux tablets.
Not supposed to take them together but I thought hey. If I don't tell anyone then perhaps it hadn't really happened. And I just oh I really really fell ill.
I really oh. And I was thinking was it food poisoning? Food poisoning. Oh please don't let it be that.
But it wasn't. And I think basically I just hadn't allowed it to digest. I'd ate too much and my body was struggling to digest all of it.
And eventually I managed to lie down on my bed on my side. And I fell asleep. And two hours later I woke up.
I felt fine. And I was kind of lying down but I was also cradling my stomach with a duvet. So pushing it against my tummy.
And I could feel it. It felt. It still felt uncomfortable but at the same time there was a bit of comfort.
I was like cuddling myself a little bit I guess. Coddling myself. Is that a right word? Man.
And that was awful. Well thanks for telling us about this. Now can you just send us to sleep now please? Can't you say something a bit silly? I don't want to hear about your physical problems.
Illness. I don't want to hear about illness. Well it wasn't really illness was it? It was just trapped gas I guess.
Or digestive issues. But man. That was on a level that I've not.
Normally if I get heartburn sometimes I'm on acid reflux tablets. I've got acid reflux so it does sometimes cause heartburn. It can cause coughing as well.
But this was on a. This wasn't. I felt it in my chest but it was my stomach more than anything. It was like above the belly button area.
And it was like ooooh. And even my left nipple was not vibrating but it felt very tingly. My left breast.
My right breast not so much but my left bosom. Not in a nice way either. So yeah, but now, I woke up, yeah, I woke up two hours later and I felt way better.
And then I watched South Park. Check this out. If you're a South Park fan, or if you ever used to watch South Park, I haven't really watched it for years, but I used to watch it.
And they did a special, and it's basically a post-COVID special, and they're all adults. And it's funny, it is funny. It's very satirical, but it's funny, it's a funny, it's funny, funny, funny, lasts for about 50 minutes.
I don't know where you'd watch it, but just search for it online. I'm sure you can stream it somewhere. But my brother shared it with me, so I watched it.
And I was like, oh, this is funny. And I'll give you the premise, but I don't want to spoil it, but basically, someone kills Kenny. But they're all adults, and Kenny's this top scientist, Sir Carlton, and all the kids get back together and they come back to South Park.
And then the whole place gets closed down because one person, they realize that Kenny died from COVID. This is spoilers, it's a spoiler. So they closed, they basically locked down the whole of South Park, including people that were visiting.
No one in, no one out, all by the army. And then they said, there's one person hadn't had the vaccine yet. And they find out who it is, and it's really, it's funny, it's a funny bit.
And there's a thing they keep going on about is old people are not allowed to die. We have to, and they kept repeating it, they kept mentioning it. And I realized where they were going, it's like this, yeah, like, so it's very funny.
It's very funny. Anyway, check it out. Or don't, I don't care.
It's up to you. It's up to you what you do. Can you believe, can you believe that it's nearly December? It's nearly December, which means, yeah, let's not say it yet.
It's nearly Kwish Mush, which means it's nearly the end of the year, which means it's nearly January, which means it's a new year. Oh, yeah, the thing about this South Park is COVID lasted, it was still going after 40 years, and it just transformed the whole world. And you know what, I started to think, maybe that's what's going to happen.
Because a little of the bastard ain't going away, is it? It's just, come on, two years now, practically, but isn't it two years? December, two years ago, this all kind of started. I know, in England, we didn't hear about it until the new year. Because I guess they, you know, they want to make sure that they rinsed every bit of Christmas money out of people.
Because if people knew they were going to be in lockdown, they would have probably spent a lot less on Christmas and not got into so much debt. But I guess, you know, how could you predict? How could we predict, you know, this prediction is easier after the event, isn't it? I just find it amazing, right? OK, I don't know if you want to know this. OK, something interesting.
Covid stats. Oh, great, the internet's gone. Why is the internet not on now? That's very strange.
Ah, now it is. Brilliant. I'm sure it just cuts down when it's just... OK.
Let's just have a look. No, it's not the one I want. There's a website that gives the stats.
I've got it on. I've got it saved. But... It's basically world... Is it the world? Data.
Where is that one? No, damn you. I don't want to... OK. OK.
I've got it, but it's on a... I don't want to use the iPad because I'm using it. OK. So basically S... South Africa.
Because there's a new strain coming from South Africa, they're using that as an excuse to start closing things down again here. So, because we've been getting 40,000 new cases a day for absolute ages. It's a standard.
Around 40,000 a day new cases, which to me is a lot. It's a lot of people. So we've generally got like 1 million.
1 in 68. For every 68 people one person has got the COVID virus at any one time. That's quite a lot, isn't it really? If you was going to go to a house party or if you was going to go to a restaurant and they said one of the customers in there has got the virus you wouldn't go in would you? You'd cancel your table.
68 people that's not a lot of people 70 people, you could fit that in a restaurant you could fit 70 people standing in this room that would be a bit too close no social distancing but it's not a lot of people, 70 people and there's apparently 68 million people in this country of mine no one really knows but they say roughly about 68 million and okay I know what they do do do do do do do do okay let's have a look right a couple of days ago South Africa had 27,000 wow 27th of November
6,000 compared to our 40,000 I'm going to go out and look at the other the other the website it's much easier I've got everything saved right South Africa yesterday South South Africa the point I'm going to make the point I'm trying to make the point I will make is if I actually find the country bloody when you're really looking for something it hides doesn't it bloody hides okay SSS South Africa come on South Africa where is ya Saudi Saudi Arabia come on oh there you go 6 new deaths yesterday in South Africa 2,858 new cases
UK 37,681 new cases total cases in South Africa 2,961 altogether UK 101,146,915 UK 101,146,915 UK UK UK UK UK UK UK UK UK UK my question is if a variant is coming from a country that has comparatively obviously all deaths are too much but comparatively much much lower statistically much lower problems than a lot of the world why are we making such a big deal about that particular one then I mean yeah okay stop the travel the air travel if that has to be done but now they're saying from well from now or from Tuesday
or whatever, Monday we all have to go back to wearing masks by law in shops on trains, buses because they dropped that in July I think now it's a law again because of South Africa not because of South Africa because of the variant and it's just like what if they keep doing this it's just going to keep doing it it's it's just going to keep there's going to be one different variant after another will it ever end you know what I mean you know what I mean I don't know I'm pretty sure I had Covid
but it came up with that flow test or that quick test thing as negative but man I tell you but then if I didn't have Covid realistically because I've had the vaccines if I did have Covid it should have been a lot worse a lot less than that because this was bad I don't mean on my stomach I don't mean earlier I mean a few weeks ago I was really ill really really really unwell and I can't even imagine Covid being worse than that doesn't mean it wouldn't be it is for some people obviously but
I mean for me I can't that's as ill as I imagine I'd get I mean any iller I'd have been in hospital the only thing I was ok with was I could breathe I didn't have any problems with my breathing I was coughing but my breathing was ok and that's the reason why most people end up in hospital with Covid because of the breathing issues so I was lucky there but maybe it wasn't Covid maybe the test was correct but people say take the test well it's not real anyway it doesn't work properly it's not
reliable well why did you tell me to take the test then I'm just sticking my nose in I'm a doctor everyone wants to be a doctor now as long as you've got access to Google everyone's a doctor and that's what doctors use as well Google they just Google stuff I've been in a doctor's surgery and I've seen them actually Googling the symptoms to find out what it could be I could have done that I could have done that myself I expect a bit more I really do I reckon in the future doctors won't need to
be trained they'll just need to have training on Google need to have a special a certain website that doctors only use and then you can have access to everything there you don't need to remember anything imagine the old-fashioned doctors the doctors, the general practitioners that maybe lived in a little town and maybe they were the only doctor in that village and they were there and they worked for 45 years of their life until they retired they were maybe the main doctor maybe there was a couple of nurses and they looked after perhaps 150 people in
that village you know a knowledge base would have to be so huge really and you know 30 years ago no internet if they wanted to double check something they'd have to either read a book one of their books encyclopedias on medical complaints or whatever or I guess call up a friend this is like who wants to be a millionaire isn't it I want to call a friend it could be appendicitis but I want to call a friend I want to go 50-50 it could be ulcer or appendicitis what does the audience think it's an ulcer
okay fine it's an ulcer just take this medication two weeks later yeah it wasn't an ulcer sorry about that rest in peace 2.
96 it's just I reckon I don't know but I'm thinking the government were looking for an excuse to get people back wearing masks because they realise maybe it's needed 40,000 cases a day new cases just seems ridiculously high so perhaps they were looking for an excuse you know we let it lax we let everyone go back to just travelling without masks and being free again in the supermarkets and being able to just actually have some freedom and maybe enjoy the experience a little bit but didn't want to take that away but now a new variant
here's our way back to getting people to doing perhaps what's needed I mean since I was ill I've worn a mask whenever I go I don't go out really much but if I go to the supermarket or if I go to anywhere, any public place I wear a mask not in the street because that's ridiculous and it is and if you see someone walking down the street with a mask on you are legally allowed to kick them you're not I think people if you know people who work in care jobs maybe working in residential homes
with elderly people and they have to wear a mask and everything when they're at work I wouldn't want to do it but I understand you know it's gotta be hard I can't, I think my hat goes off, I don't wear a hat but if I did wear a hat it would go, where did that expression come from my wig I take my wig off to people that have to wear a mask all the day a face mask because it's horrible you know even if you're just whatever your job is regardless of what your job position
is having to wear one of those stupid things over your mouth all day long you deserve a pay rise you deserve an award seriously because I can't stand the bastards, I really cannot I mean I wear glasses so it's got that extra special annoyance for me yeah but if you put your glasses over the top of it, it doesn't steam your glasses up, it does shut up so I really have got a lot of respect not respect but I don't know whatever the white word is but kudos to those people that have to wear a
mask all the time because it's crappy and I couldn't do it, I really don't think I could do it, really I don't I don't, I mean there must be, I think those shields yeah but without a mask, take the mask off wear a shield but a lot of people that wear the mask, they wear the shields they wear a mask as well and I wouldn't have thought they'd need to but I'm not in charge of anything so I'm not even in charge of myself so I don't know what the rules are with that but now
the rules are going back to but I don't know, is it law?
I mean don't laws need to go through the judicial legal procedures to be launched or can they just say this is it now I don't know because I think with the wearing masks in supermarkets and shops it's given a lot of people not everyone I'm not going to generalise I'm just saying some people who work in those environments it's allowed them to be the controlling person that they want to be or who they are you know that kind of some people like to tell other people what to do don't they but if you work in
a shop unless you're a supervisor or a manager or a team leader you generally don't get to tell anyone anything if you're working on a till chances are or you're stacking the shelves chances are you've got bosses but you're not in charge of anyone else this is by my own experience of doing those jobs but now you can tell off the customers no you have to wear a mask why don't you just finish unpacking those fish fingers put them into the freezer and leave me alone no but you've got to wear a mask you must
wear a mask I wear a mask anyway now but I get deliveries I am not going into a supermarket unless I have to last time I went into an actual big supermarket is when I got ill went to the doctors with my back I sat it like I took my back with me, I always take my back everywhere I go what I mean is I had a back I took my legs, my arms, my ears I left my toes at home they were soaking in a bucket I went to the doctors then I went to
the supermarket then I went to another supermarket I think and then I went to the pharmacy and I had what 1, 2, 3 bus journeys you know I was exposed to a lot of a lot I actually went into the supermarket not just to shop, I actually had something to eat so everyone was at their distance in the queue and then when they got to the actual counter to order the food they were standing right next to each other what's the point in that?
I started mentioning it, what's the point? you're standing at a distance in the queue and then when you get to the actual counter and get your little tray you're like basically up each other's bums and some lady next to me, she thought it was funny she said yeah I know and there's other people looking at me like I just strangled their cat like come on, I'm just mentioning the absurdity of all of your actions, how could that annoy you? how could that be annoying?
so I listed it in that voice have you noticed that all of you are idiots very silly people so yeah that's it I ain't going out and it looks like I'm not even gonna visit to see my family Christmas because I really wouldn't be surprised if there's a lockdown maybe just over the Christmas period, you know the government say we'll do it over Christmas because not much happens at Christmas anyway there's a lockdown no one's allowed to visit each other or there's no travel or you know don't go out unless you have to whatever basically
what happens now is so predictable is they introduce a new thing, this is the new variant and suddenly they hold onto it with every every bit of energy they have, the news channels hold onto it and they get everything they can out of it if it was an orange they'd make orange juice out of it but they'd also try, they'd use the rind they'd use everything you know they'd use every single bit of that orange because they need to squeeze every inch of life out of a story to the point where they're actually releasing a
third person with the variant, the new COVID variant that's been found in the UK a third person, I mean it's just that tomorrow, now it's five and they keep going and they won't let it go they will not drop it until a new variant comes or something else that could be more frightening comes along, I mean we should be having, it's supposed to be minus ten degrees in this country tonight it won't be that here because we don't get the cold, cold weather in the south compared to like up north and even the Midlands and
that Wales and Scotland seem to get the worst of the weather as far as, I know they're technically different countries but as far as the UK goes they're part of this island this tiny little island surrounded by sea so those parts of the country or of the land, actually we'll call it the land the land the island of England no no no the island of Ireland when did that come in when you thought that up the island of Ireland I've not heard it said recently but I'm sure it's Covid, post Covid it wasn't called that
before I'm pretty sure it wasn't just called Ireland Northern Ireland you've got the Republic of Ireland or Ireland in Ireland this happened when I was a kid I didn't understand firstly why are we getting the weather in Northern Ireland didn't understand that because on the BBC news the weather forecast had come on and then you know Scotland, Wales whatever the weather and Northern Ireland it's going to be rainy and whatever why are you telling us the weather in another country I was a little kid I didn't understand any of that stuff and my second question
is doesn't the rest of Ireland have any weather or is it just like the moon honestly I didn't get it really didn't understand it I was I think I was about 45 before I actually understood but that's besides the point no I lived in Ireland for a little while I'm of Irish heritage don't you know my grandmother both my grandmother's parents were Irish and they came over here to I don't know if it was during a potato famine I think the potato famine was a lot earlier than that but they came over here to well
my granddad worked on the roads my granddad her father worked on the roads which would be my great granddad would that be my great granddad yeah I'd love to have met him actually because I only had one granddad that I ever knew and he was so quiet I never got to know him my other granddad I think he died before I was born and so I never got to meet him either I suppose I could dig him up but no so he died so it would be nice to have seen I did meet my nanny
Waker and she was my granddad's mother I think yeah my granddad's mother so I met her she was lovely she was always in bed though so she was very very elderly and she was in bed when I visited and I was what 7 and she always used to give me and my brothers some money to go and buy some comics so you know if you wanna win the hearts of a child give them money it works because then you know what else you can do you can't really have a conversation with them so if you
don't know them I mean if you've only just met them for the first time obviously if you're still give them money it's a nice thing not a lot of money just enough to buy something little don't be giving them like here's 10 grand go and buy a van I'm 7 don't worry about it buy a van I said so yeah she was nice I liked her very elderly apparently she was a proper I don't know what the right words are but very forceful in her opinions but I didn't get to see that she was an
old lady who was lovely but apparently she was quite strict very strict you know tried to kind of rule everything with an iron rod kind of person I don't know if that's just what my name told me she said she was quite a handful but she died when I was about 8 and she was just about to move my nan and granddad we were moving out of the council house when I was 8 just before I was 9 probably maybe 9 8 8 and a half and we were just moving out and basically we were
moving into a new house because my little brother was born so we needed the room they couldn't find anyone to take me and my nan and granddad were going to move down and live in that house they swapped council houses basically from London to the one that we had they did a swap they were bringing my nanny Waker down with them and she was going to be in the other room so there was 2 big rooms and a little box room it was 3 bedrooms a little bedroom and 2 I'd say both the bedrooms were
the same size really anyway she refused to come but they said we've got no choice we're going so are you going to come with us she said no I'm not and then she died so she refused to come she said no intention of moving from London and she didn't it's a it's a weird thing I'm not talking about serious stuff but when my nan it was like the last few days of my nans life she was staying with my aunty for Christmas because she died on the 28th of December in 2014 and she she didn't
want to go she wanted to stay where she was because she was so ill she couldn't hardly talk, couldn't see, couldn't hear you know she was really unwell but I don't know she basically just did what her kids told her to do and she didn't enjoy the journey it was about a 2 hour journey and it was very difficult on her because she was in pain but she did it but apparently she had a great time when she was there and I think the idea was to give my dad a rest because he was there
sometimes like twice a day helping out and looking after her she had care assistants coming in but he had to chase that up and make sure they did what they were supposed to do and she got a medication and he was very hands on plus he was looking after he was helping look after his wife's parents who both had dementia and physical problems so my dad was brilliant with that stuff he was pretty much like a carer for quite a few years and I saw a different side to him to what I'd seen before I
mean he used to take my step mum's father, he used to take him to the toilet and help him and I just wouldn't imagine it'd ever do anything just couldn't imagine my dad doing that stuff but he did so yeah he's a pretty good bloke actually that's pretty impressive I say that because I can't imagine I just can't imagine doing that myself I think I think if my dad ends up having to rely on me for care he's in trouble he's gonna have to stay dirty and wet himself, I don't think I've got it in
me to really do any of that stuff I'm sure I would but I don't know I just just not sure doesn't but lucky I haven't got to do that because he's got my little brother, my little brother can do all that stuff, I'm not he's got a very close relationship with my little brother so he's he'll be the one that will be looking after him if it came to it but his wife's very much a lot younger than him which means chances are she'll be around you know statistically she'll be around longer than he is
statistically plus she's quite a bit younger than him so I think there's 13 years between them so he's got her to look after but he's doing well I think he's 75 he's 25 years older than me I'm 51, what does that make him, 76 so I think he's 76 which doesn't sound old but then you think that means he'll be 80 in 4 years I don't know why but 80 just sounds older than 76 I mean technically it is older isn't it, obviously but it's older, what are you talking about it is older, I know
it just sounds a lot older it's like difference between 6 inches and 8 inches, it's just like wow, that's a huge difference but technically it's not that much but it makes it I feel I'd have kept my girlfriend if I'd had 8 inches I would have liked to have met my great granddad I would have liked to have met my granddad but apparently he was a tough nut like a proper I don't know, I just heard stories that he was a bit of a bad man and huge strong violent I don't know so that's what
I've heard apparently he was massive and then my granddad was he wasn't very big at all my other granddad but he was ex-boxer so he was tough plus he'd been in I don't know if he'd been through 2 wars he was definitely through in the 2nd world war but he was 29 when the 2nd world war started so he wouldn't have been old enough for the 1st world war would he you should know the dates of the 1st why should I?
why should I? you should know all that, why? why? ok so the 2nd world war the 1st world war ended in 18 so 28 38 my granddad would have been 9 so he lived through the 1st world war because he was 29 and 39 so he'd have been 8 wouldn't he?
so he lived during the 1st world war but he wasn't he wasn't a soldier so you could say well he did survive the 1st world war obviously but he was a boxer he was a boxer in the army and he did he was in the army I think from maybe 16 to 20 27 or 26 or whatever because he'd left he'd left the army, done his full service had I think he'd done 12 years so 16 to 28 or something or maybe 15 to 27 I'm not sure what the ages were back then and like
of entry so he did his time he did a full 12 year something like that so he had a pension and everything at the end of it and so he left the army and then like a year later or maybe 2 years later he was one of the first people called up when the war started because he was fully trained and he was I don't know what if he was a colonel or sergeant I don't know what his rank was when he left the army but he was a ranked officer at that time, at that
point he used to travel on horses he did he didn't have tanks back then he used to at one point he was in a horse regiment and I think he was stationed in India and Sudan and places like that I think but he was he was about my height but he was always bigger than me like heavier, he was slim but I think he was like 12 12 and a half stone something like that my grandmother my nanny used to tell me when he was alive because he died in 92 and so he was he
was always bigger than me like but he was still slim I was just super skinny and it's weird because I don't know what size my grandparents were my nan's parents I'm going by her she was very slim, my nan always slim right from, you know apart from when she was pregnant I guess but I never met her during those times because that would be impossible and she she was slim my granddad was slim and all of my both my uncles were slim both my aunties were slim but my dad big broad, big heavy, strong you
know completely different shape to the rest of them, he was stocky and the rest were slim now they were taller than him as well though well my uncles both my uncles were well over 6ft my dad's probably about 5'11 5'14 something like that so I think my dad was just under the 6ft but he was under 6ft but not by much but the others were a lot taller than him and then my brothers slim my oldest, my older brother wasn't slim he had a bit of puppy fat on him when he was a kid but
you know when he was an adult he was slim and my other brother he's about 6ft my other brother, the oldest one he's 6'4 height and he was slim but I think as he got older he's filled out a bit so he's I guess quite a big bloke now he's tall, he's always been tall and then my other brother my little brother he's big not fat just big like my dad he's kind of got my dad's physique and I guess I kind of have as well now because as I've filled out I'm kind of but
my brother's more my brother's always been like that he kind of grew into being quite big as an adult as soon as he was an older teenager and he grew up he was filled out he was muscular he had the same kind of strength and stuff he was a strong lad then my uncles had kids and aunts had kids well my two uncles the tall ones their kids were even taller they were more like 6'6 so they were my cousins tall so why do I have to be a short arse?
that's my point, why do I have to be the short one?
it's not fair that's the whole reason I'm telling you this because I'm short and I don't want to be short but apparently my grandad my other grandad, the one I never met huge so I don't know I think he had a huge body I think he was a really massive strong man but apparently he was really tall as well so I don't know I don't think my biological mother was particularly tall probably maybe shorter than me I don't know I can't remember, she was a little taller than me when I was three but most people
were so I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know why I quite like to meet some of these people I'll tell you one thing though even though I met my my nan's brother well I met him a few times but he used to come and stay over at my nan's and sometimes I'd end up I was there with him at the same time or I'd see him and he had the same shape as my dad he had the same body shape big, broad and he was old when I first met him
he was in his 70s he was in his I think he died when he was about 89 so and that was 2007 2008 so he was always old whenever I knew him right from being a kid I used to see him that often but I used to see him a bit more when I was the last maybe 10 years of his life I used to see him every now and then and he was lovely he used to be ginger I think he was bald and grey but quite bald when I got to know him but
he had as my dad got older he looked more and more like him they're very similar facially but you could see even though he was old he was still broad he still had that he had a walking stick and everything but you could see he was a big bloke upper body so I guess the genes kind of skipped over to my dad from him which is why he was like that why he had those kind of genes and I don't know where those genes came from don't say Debenhams oh a bit of gas I'm welcoming
any gas at the moment I need to keep that little gas pipe well and truly open when it's closed it was horrible so yeah the ginger gene I need to ask my dad but I don't think he had a ginger beard because he used to have a beard and he shaved it off when I was about 8 or 9 he shaved it off I've not even met him since he's had his beard he's had his beard for over 2 years and I've not seen him in person spoke to him on the phone but I've not
actually seen him at all since he's had his beard back and it suits him so much honestly it just reminds me of this lovely man that I met when I was 7 just before I was 7 because I I hadn't lived with him since I was a baby I'd been living in a different part of the country and then he kind of found us and we ended up moving with him but he had a big bushy beard and he was the nicest cuddliest daddy you could ever have honestly and then he shaved his beard off
I think it changed his personality but he's got his beard back and part of lockdown and I think he just because he wasn't seeing anyone I think he gave up a little bit just let himself go I rarely saw him even with stubble, clean shaven all the time but he did have a moustache I think in the 90's yeah pretty sure he had a moustache in the 90's or late 80's but yeah I'm pretty sure there's a picture of him with a moustache anyway I imagine he'll probably just say no whatever I say that he
he just didn't bother shaving for a while and then the stubble turned into a beard you know if he's anything like me it grows quick within a week he'll have a beard doesn't take long at all to grow a beard just like hair growth my hair on my head grows so quickly it's absolutely ridiculous it's really getting along now anyway I'm guessing he just forgot about it didn't think about it wasn't allowed to leave the house for 3 months or something because of his age and he just got on with whatever he was doing in
his life and he just let the beard grow and then someone said to him how lovely it looks I don't know but it does because he's got jet white hair jet white hair you don't use the word jet before white do you he's got hair like snow honestly it's that white and his beard is exactly the same and it's wonderful honestly I think he looks perfect now you might say well that's a bit gushy and I've never I don't generally get on that well with him you know he's my dad but we don't really have
a lot in common we don't really have much to talk about he's not interested in anything I'm doing or he doesn't understand what I'm doing I guess I don't understand what he's talking about when he's talking about building stuff because he's very handy with his hands and he builds things and there's nothing he can't do when it comes to plumbing or electrics or gas I'm the expert on gas obviously but I don't know any of that stuff if he starts talking about plastering the walls my eyes glaze over he hypnotises me if I start talking
about podcasts and he's just no interest because he doesn't know what I'm talking about so it's hard to have a conversation I mean I think that's the reason people have kids if you have kids and you have grandkids there's always something to talk about they can talk about their grandkids you can talk about the grandkids with them so there's always something family and this is happening but if you're like me and you don't have any kids and you're a virgin like I am then there's not really anything to talk about I haven't got anything I
can't fall back on that boring subject of children I'm not saying it's boring but it's got to be a bit repetitive I don't know but it's wonderful as well I mean my dad loves his grandchildren and you know some people hear they say well everyone loves their grandchildren go away shut up I'm not talking about anyone I'm talking about my daddy I'm talking about him specifically I'm not saying it's a unique thing you know some people are like that he's like I got cold I was cold when I went out last night in the snow
I got cold well everyone gets cold when they go out in the snow right for me that's like you've got three more chances and that's the last time I talk to you that's how I think if you're going to do that play that game my friend there was a point sometimes when I talk about Andre and he said yeah I know I had a ferret you know because he had a ferret himself which is like Andre's uncle and I thought well if you're going to do that every time I mention something that Andre's done because
I'm excited especially when I first had him well it's pointless us talking because you know you can use that for every single time plus when you say that it's almost like you're saying that Andre hasn't got his own personality and they do all have their own personalities I think what really I just kept going I think I went on a bit too much about Andre maybe perhaps in the podcasts as well but you know what I never got bored with him I never something about it even you know right up to you know the end
yeah before he got ill if I saw him asleep and he was laying in a cute position I'd take a picture of him and the amount of times that he'd wake up look at me like go away you know especially if he's like had his tongue sticking out and he was happy so happy he was a happy little boy and the last 2 years he could do anything he wanted he wasn't even living in a cage like he didn't he never lived in a cage he'd always be out as soon as I got up in
the morning I'd let him out of the cage you know for the first few years of having him and he'd do what he wanted and then at night or whenever I went to bed I'd put him in the cage and that was it but then the last couple of years I thought let me see if I can do it I tested it and he'd just wake me up or he'd do something I'd have to put him back in the cage but eventually he stopped doing that and he would come onto the bed and he'd go
to sleep on the bed with me or he'd cuddle up sometimes usually he'd just prefer to sleep at the bottom of the bed he thought he was a dog I think and you know he would wake me up in the morning if he was awake and he wanted to play and I was asleep he'd make sure he'd wake me up you know sometimes he would just like lick my face and give me kisses until I wake up which was the best way to wake up in the world having your little boy kissing you my little
Andre licking my face, it's lovely and sometimes he'd bite my eyes not bite not bite bite but he would nibble around my eyes and it didn't hurt but it was, you could feel the pressure or he'd nibble my ears or he'd lick my ears try and lick my ears out which was maybe strange I don't know I'm not sure what's strange anymore as I got older things that used to be strange seem to be normal now I don't know anymore don't know I miss that little monkey but yeah it's thinking about our family I can't
believe it's over 2 years the last time I saw my dad and my step mum was New Year's Eve 2019 New Year's Eve 2019 so I'd seen him previous to that in the August but it was, yeah because I didn't go there for the Christmas and I haven't been there for Christmas since probably 2013 something like that 2000 probably 2013 I think it was the last time I spent Christmas there maybe 2014 but I think it was 2013 blimey, what's that 8 years but I had Andre here so I couldn't just head off so I
could but I couldn't because if I go and visit I'm stuck there for 3 days because there's no transport everything closes so I go there if I leave it the latest Christmas Eve I can't leave Christmas Day I can't leave Boxing Day and quite often the day after is a bank holiday as well so sometimes I'm stuck there for 3 days before I can leave and one day is enough for everyone I think I don't think anyone wants to spend more than a day with me I think 2 hours is probably enough but a whole
day is you know I've got my own things that I like to do my own routines I can't watch other people's televisions watching other people's programs that's just maybe I'm getting set I'm probably getting set in my ways I've probably been set in my ways for years decades probably but I like to do my own thing I like to visit and then just you know head off and get back I don't even care if I don't get back too late you know I was just it's just nice to sort of get home and because Andre
was here so if I did go out I'd go visit for the day and I'd come back occasionally I think twice I stayed overnight and I came back the next day to a not ruined ruined flat but I remember years I hadn't had him long I had him in September and this was in November and I had to go somewhere and I was away overnight in London and I came back the next day and he had trashed the living room because I locked it I closed the living room door kept him in here because I
didn't really know what he would be up to so I thought if I just kept him in one room he had food he had water he had everything he needed but he just trashed the place he was still a baby really I mean I guess I should have kept him in the cage but I didn't want to leave him stuck in the cage on his own all that time I wanted him to have the freedom because right from a baby he had the freedom to do what he wanted to do and he only went to
the cage when I went to bed the rest of the time he was out and he could sleep make up his little nests which he did he had lots of little dens and little places that he'd sleep dotted all around the flat he always had at least five five different places that he'd sleep he was in the kitchen he had one place he had two places in the kitchen but just one particular place he liked on the carrier bags and then he had one, two it changed in the living room because I changed the room
around occasionally so but he always had behind the door and he had his bag he liked to sleep sometimes under the radiator or near the radiator at the front door in the bedroom he had different places in the bedroom that he liked to sleep sometimes he liked to sleep underneath all the dirty laundry he'd dig into it and I wouldn't be able to find him but he'd be hiding he'd love it on my bed of course on my bed underneath the duvet in the duvet he'd climb into it so the duvet and the duvet cover
he'd actually climb in the end and he'd go to sleep I wouldn't even know he was in there I remember once I went to lie down and suddenly he started moving and made me jump I didn't even know he was in the bed so I'm going to go I'm going to go now so thank you I hope I bored you all yeah things are going ok I've been trying to get together basically trying to get together the recordings like the old recordings from the past not old old but just just to do the archives so
I can put them onto my website I've been trying to get that together but it's very it's taken up a lot of time and I don't seem to be getting anywhere with it even when I do it it's like oh this is never ending but at the same time I was trying to do as many as I could and hopefully get them all done by the end of the year so that when you go to my website every single recording pretty much, it's going to be the odd one that isn't available, but every single recording
will be available with music as well so you can play and maybe even download them as well so you can play, stream them on my website as I do now with all the latest recordings I put all versions of it as well as you can download but also maybe download the versions with the music if you wanted to so it's just trying to get all that up to date but it's very very time consuming to do it and then there's all the website work I need to do plus there's making new recordings because I don't
want to leave it too long between making new recordings because I want to get back to once I've done that you know the archived stuff, then I want to move forward making new recordings every day and you know going on as I intend to continue by making recordings and making new ones and hopefully maybe doing some new stuff as well but I just need to get up to date with the previous recordings and it's a huge task it's a big big big old task to do it and I can't believe how many recordings I've done
over the years huge amounts massive anyway once that's done I'll be very pleased I will be very pleased because then I can start the year as I mean to go on I don't mean constipated so that's it thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy and just do something nice it doesn't have to cost you money it doesn't have to be expensive or anything just whatever it is even if it's just having a nice soak in the bath or listening to an album you haven't listened to for
ages just do something relaxing and nice something that makes you feel good inside you feel really calm and peaceful yeah be gentle with yourself lots of love bye
Paragraph spacing and recurring name or title errors have been tidied. Because this began as a voice transcription, an occasional word or piece of punctuation may still be incorrect.