#720 Let me bore you to sleep - MY LAZY EYE PATCH - Jason Newland (6th September 2021)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Oh yeah.

So, today is Monday the 6th of September 2021. It's 11.23 in the evening. Now, the last, well, the last few days I've been focusing on just making one recording a day.

So, I'm trying to get my head around the statistics. I'm not going to bore you too much about the statistics but I'm just, I guess I'm observing it. If that makes any sense.

I'm trying to predict. I'm trying to see if the statistics are predictable. And over the last few days they have been.

So, today I recorded an extra recording. So, I did a deep sleep whisper hypnosis earlier. Not that long ago actually.

Not long ago. About 10 o'clock or something. And, so I uploaded that and now I'm doing this.

So, I've had a break between them. Didn't do them back to back or back to front. And I'm interested to see what the statistics will be having done an extra recording.

So, probably for the next few days I'll do the two recordings. And then I'm going to do, maybe I'll do, it might be a different one. Maybe I'll do a different recording maybe tomorrow.

As well as to let me bore you to sleep. Just trying to figure it out. Figure out what I need to do to, you know, what level I need to get to the various milestones that I'm aiming for short-term.

So, short-term, you know, 10,000 a day is my target. Now I can get 10,000 a day and I know how to do that. So, but at the moment I'm just seeing what I get if I record one recording.

And every day it's over 8,000 downloads a day. And that includes people listening to older stuff and other podcasts and stuff. So, it's not, not everyone's just listening to that one recording.

Blimey! That'd be nice. But no, that's not. But it is growing.

The let me bore you to sleep podcast is growing. And probably by about 40 to 50, about 40% growth in the last month. So, not quite sure why that is.

Just on the podcast itself. And let me, no, don't, don't. Yeah, I'm gonna.

No, we don't want to hear anymore. I'm gonna. No, no more statistics.

Okay, can't help it. So, so if you look at July, 10,450 downloads for let me bore you to sleep. Now it's July.

Now, August. What? Wait a minute. July.

It's the end of July. What was that? 10? Is that all 10,450 in July? In August? Blimey! Why? Okay. Okay.

August 13,000. It's gone down. What am I talking about? August 10, 13,076.

It's gone up by 3,000. Current month 4,287. Okay.

And it's only been six days. So, based on that, and so you're looking at at least 5,000 for the week. So, we're looking at 20,000 for the month.

So, that's probably more than 50%. So, it's just really, really kind of gone up. Last week, 5,116.

That's how many I've had for the last seven days. Now previous to that, it was 3,868. Previous to that, it was 1,821.

Previous to that, 3,145. Previous to that, 5,434. So, actually, none of this is making sense now.

Fifer. Forget it. It made sense to me.

Just forget it. Forget it. Forget it.

Forget it. I mentioned it. I know.

I'm not playing your games anymore. That's it. You've had your chance.

What am I talking about? It's almost like I knew what I was talking about before I started. Just trust me. It's gone up.

It's gone up. I mean, the Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress and Anxiety podcast, 85,000 downloads in the last 30 days. The Deep Sleep podcast, Deep Sleep Whisperer, 14,000 in the last 30 days.

And Let Me Bore You To Sleep, 15,000 in the last 30 days. So, it's on a daily basis, it's growing. Growing.

Because I used to get like 300 a day on the Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Now, I really get less than sort of 600. The other day, I got 1,109.

Today, so far, 500. 625 yesterday, 637, 735 the day before that. So, yeah.

Bedtime story time. 195 downloads. Wow, in 30 days.

That does not represent the people listening to that because I share on other podcasts and people do listen. They do. Just not on the actual podcast.

Relax and Sleep Hypnosis Daily, 9,391 downloads over the last 30 days. But because I haven't made a recording, um, for, blimey, since I think the 28th of August, the stats go down because, you know, I've got 210,000 for that podcast. But I need to start making some more recordings because it was at a week, 28, 29, 30, 31, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9 days without making a recording for that podcast.

And it's supposed to be a daily podcast. That's awful, isn't it? That's terrible of me. That's really, really bad.

I'm going to slap myself on the ankles viciously for 2.3 seconds as a punishment for not providing the professional service that I should be providing. I will be doing more. I will, I will, I will.

But I just, I'm just interested to see how things are growing and because no point me ignoring it. Maybe I don't need to tell you about it. You don't have to ignore it Jason, but you have to keep going on about it.

I still remember that message I got from someone saying, I really love what you do, but you know, I'm going to leave you alone until you've got over talking about your stats. In other words, you know, I don't listen to you if you're going to talk about your stats. I've probably only spent an entire podcast talking about my stats twice.

I'll mention them and then I'll move on to something else because you may have noticed that sticking to one subject isn't my speciality. It's really not. Oh, there's a bush there.

It looks like a bum. Just looking at the telly. It's on a screensaver.

It's just showing this field, field, the field of some kind. I mean, you know, I'm sure there's a way of me changing the screensaver into something that I want to watch. Not that I'm watching it, but it's there, you know what I mean? It's all there in front of me.

I suppose I could, I could turn it off because unlike the old television I had, it doesn't click when it gets turned off because the other one I had, when it cooled down, it was like click, click, click. So what have I been doing? Well, let me tell you. I have been working on the, um, not a translations, the transcriptions of my podcasts.

And also I've been going through the Deep Sleep Whisper podcast and putting in a, basically it's the, I've got this template that I'm putting into the descriptions and then bit by bit I fill in the template. So at the moment I put the template into every record, every face, um, podcast episode of that podcast. And now I'm filling in at the moment, I've been filling in the, the link to my website page where you can read the entire script.

If it's because there's only limited space in the podcast description, you can't fit the whole thing in. And then, um, when I've done that, when I've done all of those, there's 402, I think, or 403, or 402, I don't know, episodes. So it's quite, uh, a task, there's a lot of them.

And then I'm going to be, I think I've got 48 transcriptions done for the Deep Sleep Whisper. So I'll be fit, putting those into the podcasts. And when I've done that, I will start on the Let Me Bore You To Sleep, which is an even bigger task, is nearly double the amount.

And then I've got, I don't know how many, I've got about 30. Let Me Bore You To Sleep, maybe more, 40. I don't know.

There's a few anyway, that I've got transcribed. And then I run out. So there was no, I ran out the amount of hours or minutes I was allowed to transcribe, but it resets in about two days.

So I'll, I'll do all that for the Let Me Bore You To Sleep, and then fill in those. And then, once that's done, I'll start looking at putting the transcriptions into the website itself, to each podcast episode. And then doing the same in YouTube.

So it's just a big, laborious task, which I don't mind doing it, but it's boring. It's just, you know, I have these little splurges of energy where I can sometimes just sit here without any music or anything and just focus and do maybe 100 pages of this, do like maybe 50 or 100. And I'll be here for an hour and a half.

And I'll be going like a whiz kid, you know, just really focusing. And then I have to stop and go to bed. It's just focusing on almost focusing on nothing, in a sense, focusing on something that's, it's not giving me anything.

I'm not, it's not creative. I'm creating, but it's not creative, if that makes sense. So I'm creating this.

Well, I'm enhancing the podcast, possibly, so that people can read as well as listen. Although the transcription is probably about 80% correct. So some of the words would be wrong, and some of the yeah, some of it will be wrong.

But I but once I've done it, then I'm going to start going through and correcting the writing, correcting the the text. It might seem like, well, why not do that first? Well, I tried. And I couldn't.

I could, but I just couldn't. I just thought, oh, I've tried for years to do this. This is this is not a new, it's not a new thing for me.

This is something I've been trying to do for years to transcribe my podcasts for not just for to get them on the podcast or on my website for people to read, but also for me so that I can potentially learn from what I've already done. Get more ideas stimulated from accumulating previous ideas, you know, putting them into an order. And then I could say, oh, and now I could maybe stimulate something else.

And also possibly put together some books based on my ideas and things I've come up with, and said, maybe a book of some of the silly stories that I've told over time. Over a minute, it's been a minute, I've been doing this for a minute. And yeah, so I'm just gonna continue down that road, but it's very, very, very, very long winded, taking forever.

I mean, even by Christmas, the transcriptions won't be finished. That's how many there are, because not only do I have to wait a month to the next lot of spaces available for me to transcribe, unless I opened another account under a different name or whatever. It's a shame, I would like to be able to be unlimited.

They said like, I'll pay double the amount or triple the amount and they give me unlimited, but they don't offer that. So not only am I working with the old archived material, I'm also continuously creating new material. So every month, but it's got to be 50, 50 hours worth of stuff, at least, at least 50 hours worth of new recordings every month.

At the very least, if I do one of these every month, every day, that's 30, probably 40 hours, or 35 hours, or you know, with the extra like 10 minutes here and there. So at least 30 hours every month. So probably realistically, with the other stuff I do, maybe 40 to 50 hours.

Maybe more, you know, depends on how much I do. So that's a lot. So I'm never gonna actually ever technically technically get caught up.

I'd have to stop recording for a couple of months to catch up to sort of get but I'm not obviously I'm not going to do that. That would be awful. That's a terrible idea.

How dare you? So yeah, I'm gonna maybe yeah, maybe I will open a new account under a different name, or not under a different name, but just use a different email address. And so it shouldn't really make any difference. I don't feel I should have to do that.

Some companies are like that some websites, you know, they're like, we have to open a new new one with a different name. Why can't I just have this as part of what I've already got, and just pay you more? No, you have to open another one. But I want to open another one, I want it all to be tidy.

And that's part of the reason of getting organized is to make things tidier. No, no, no, we need to be complicated. Carry on with your complications.

And another thing I'm going to be doing next month, or maybe even next week is I'm going to start sharing my podcasts on Instagram. And I'm a little bit late to the late to the table to the dinner table. And most of the foods already been eaten.

But it seems like quite, you know, I'm getting people following me on Instagram. Even though I'm not even active on there. You know, every not a lot, but every week get a few people follow me.

It's like, wow. So once I start sharing my podcasts, and there's a special way of doing it, there's a couple of apps, or websites app things. One's called headliner.

Another calls wave. And you have to turn in order to do it, you need to turn the podcast into an audiogram is like converts it into an audiogram with a picture of a title, you have to do a little bit of editing and stuff. And then you can share it onto Instagram because it connects to Instagram, which then is the pit and it just shows a clip, just a clip of the audio or the video, whatever you're sharing.

And then if the person can click to watch or listen to the whole thing. So that's what I'm going to be doing. The other thing is I'm now all as far as I'm aware, it's a few little bits to do, but YouTube's all up to date.

I'm starting to get more subscribers now. So I'm not uploading huge amounts as I was for probably about two months. So now because I lost about 2030 subscribers, something like that.

I was bombarding people's channels, their YouTube experience by uploading constantly all day and night. And that wasn't it just wasn't acceptable. I guess for a lot of people, I understand.

You don't want to go onto YouTube and just see my stuff everywhere. You know, you want to it's just who is this bloke? I only subscribed to him because I liked seeing his little ferret and suddenly he's got like 1500 podcast episodes shared on YouTube. So maybe some of those are coming back or maybe it's just new people are discovering me.

I don't know. Maybe some people listening to the podcast who decided to watch it on YouTube or not watch it but listen on YouTube. So you know, it's I've been thinking that soon and maybe the time soon that's not proper sentence, is it? But it might be time to start looking at making videos again, like proper video videos on YouTube.

And which would just basically be me recording me video myself making the podcast. That's all it'll be. So it's not that complicated, really.

So I might just do that. And the only thing is, I can make a podcast with I could basically just cover myself in peanut butter and make this podcast without any kind of negative feedback, because you wouldn't know. Now, if I'm on YouTube covered in peanut butter, it might not get a great response.

I don't know. Now, I just want to point out, I wouldn't cover myself in peanut butter because I don't really like peanut butter, which means I'd never buy it. Which means I'd never, if it took my fancy to smear it all over myself, then I'm not able to.

The closest thing I can come to do that is with, I think, strawberry jam. But that'd be way, way too sticky. I don't really like sticky things.

Just see, sometimes if I come in to the living room, so I'll maybe have some toast. See, my voice is even climbing up when I think about it. And relax.

So I have the toast, or if I've got a sticky bun. I mean, the clues in the name, isn't it, I guess. So we have another cup of tea or a can of Coke, and I'm just chilling out and looking at what a movie or just relax.

I've just got back from town or, you know, just started to have a couple of hours of chill out time, or maybe half an hour or an hour before doing more internet stuff. It's a big leap. This is a big build up to nothing, really.

Just, anyway, I sit there and I've just got this feeling on my fingers as sticky. And I'll wipe them. I've got a toilet roll on my chair.

That's just for, you know, wiping my fingers. My voice is going weird again, just. I end up having to go and wash my hands because I can't stand sticky stuff on my fingers.

That was the whole story. That was it. Yeah, it does make my throat close up a little bit when I think about it.

It's weird, isn't it? Right. I watched a movie. I actually enjoyed.

It's called Werewolves Within. And I don't know where you'd watch it. I'm not sure what streaming channel or if it's a cinema.

I'm really not sure. It's good. It's really silly.

It's funny. It's good. The characters are good.

It's just funny. And it was a box office flop. I didn't realize.

So if I just, I'll tell you, I say a box office flop, I'm being unjudgmental. So let me just tell you, the only reason I found it because I was trying to figure out who one of the characters was. Werewolves Within.

Okay. Budget 5.6 billion, billion. Okay, budget 6.5 million, box office $941,000.

So I think in general terms, that's a big old floppy flop flop. But it's a good film. So it's called Werewolves Within.

Check it out. I don't know where it's available to watch. But it's good.

Honestly, it's if you're not looking for serious, it's a horror, but it's not really horror. You know, it's like comedy horror. Exactly the same level of well, you know, I mean, this is got special effects and stuff.

And but it's good. I liked it. I don't care what you say.

I liked it. And it's worth watching. About a part according to Google 83% like the film.

I personally think the reason maybe it didn't hit big at the box office is because a lot of cinemas are either closed or people just could release 25th of June. I don't reckon cinemas are busy. I reckon a lot of people are not going to the cinemas.

And I imagine that quite a few cinemas around the Western world or America or even the UK have been closed, possibly haven't reopened. So the chances of it being big is maybe less. I mean, even what's the name? Disney have started to release their movie and also stream it for a price you pay extra on their their streaming platform, Disney Plus.

So you can't you have to wait for like six months for you can watch it without paying extra. But you can what you can pay extra to watch it. And they did that with they've done I think two movies now.

So I don't know if werewolves within isn't a Disney movie. But honestly, check it out. But if you've got if you've got kind of got similar sense of humor to be you, I think you enjoy it.

It's funny. It's silly. It's not.

You're not supposed to come out of not the end of the movie, you're not going to come out cured of any kind of illnesses. You know, it's just a movie. And it's a bit slapstick.

And it's funny. It's just there's funny bits to it. There really is.

And I wouldn't tell you that if it wasn't true. Mind you, I watched an another movie called Suicide Squad two. And I spoke to my little brother.

And he hated it. And I loved it. And he hated it.

And he's a big comic book, movie fan, which I am as well. Yeah, Marvel, DC, I'm a big fan. But I was a fan of it before he was even born.

So I kind of class myself as being more important than him. No, you know, I was watching Superman, Spider Man, Batman, The Incredible Hulk, Wonder Woman. All that stuff.

Before he was even born. Literally, he wasn't even alive then. So I class and I'm ahead of him on that.

I've been a fan before he was born. And I know that over the years, since I think Iron Man, I think it was the Iron Man was think it was actually not The Incredible Hulk, actually, since The Incredible Hulk came about. And then since then, you know, Iron Man and Thor and all that stuff.

The special effects, the, you know, the whole thing, the production is huge, compared to what it used to be for, let's say the the movie version of the TV show, The Incredible Hulk, which was basically Lou Ferrigno painted green, wearing a funny wig, look like a mop on his head, a mop head. Now, at the time, I loved The Incredible Hulk. But it hasn't, hasn't survived the test of time.

Unfortunately, it's, you know, some things do date, and that is dated, because I guess it's, it's, it's hard not to compare it with today. And The Incredible Hulk, even The Incredible Hulk of the 20 years ago, whatever, when they first launched the new version of The Incredible Hulk, and it was really good. I like both of the films, actually.

And then there was a new version, you know, with which is pretty much animated, isn't it? But it's, it's great. I love, I love it. I do.

I like every version of the Hulk I've enjoyed. But probably more so the latest one in the, you know, in the movies. And is it Ratatouille, what is it, Ranga, Rangatouille, Ragnar, Ragnar, Ragnarok, whatever.

And so that was a Thor movie, but The Incredible Hulk was in that, The Hulk, and it's brilliant. It's just funny. But yeah, because he's basically talking and stuff, you know, because he never used to, did he? He used to go rawr, rawr.

In the comics, Hulk crush. But, you know, he didn't in the, in the, in the TV show. Yeah.

And you got Spider-Man. Anyway, my, my, my brother, we argued, we didn't argue. He said he didn't like the Suicide Squad 2 movie.

He thought it was, he thought it was really bad. I disagreed. I thought it was really good.

Now, I don't know what he was looking for. If he was comparing it to the, the latest Marvel movies with, or the DC, you know, if he was comparing it to the Batman movies, or if he was comparing it to the Endgame and, you know, all that stuff that's like, just mega huge, epic movie, really. He can't, he can't compare the two to completely different, completely different.

I mean, this is, first of all, it's silly violence. It's comedy, kind of almost comedy violence. And I think that's the thing he didn't like.

Maybe he likes it to be real, realistic. Because the one thing he can't, he can't accuse the Batman movies of being, you know, the recent three that they made, he can't accuse them of being humorous. I mean, it's sort of, there's funny bits in them, but it's not a funny Batman.

Like the other Batmans, you know, with Michael Keaton and the 17 other different actors that played Batman at that time. They had, it was, I don't know, they were, that was a great movie. The one with Jack Nicholson as, as Batman, you know, visually, it was great.

It was funny. I guess they kind of lost their way by the time they got to the third one, where Arnold Schwarzenegger was, what was he? Mr. Iceman, wasn't it? And Uma Thurman was the Poison Ivy, that's it, yeah. So it kind of, it did, it lost, it kind of got, I think the, the stars were no longer, it was no longer Batman, because you had these huge stars that were in it.

I mean, Arnie was the biggest action hero in the world at the time. Uma Thurman had just done, I think, Pulp Fiction. So she was like, one of the biggest female actresses.

Wasn't Jim Carrey in that one as well? The biggest comedy actor in the world. So it was kind of, I don't know, on paper, it should have been brilliant. And maybe it was, maybe I need to watch it again to get, to appreciate it.

But anyway, my brother just didn't like, I mean, there was, there was two really, really, really, well, one really funny bit to the movie, that was almost, you just never see ever anywhere. And a scene, it lasts for about five minutes. And I'm not going to spoil it.

But I mean, even the beginning is really good, because it goes in a different direction to what you're expecting. Unless you know, because you know, I guess some people that are real big fans of these movies, almost don't know what's going to happen before it happens, because they've already read and watched loads of, you know, previews. And so there's almost no surprises.

And then what's the point? But then I don't see the point in watching movies over and over again. I watch a movie once, and that's it. I don't want to see it again.

I make an exception sometimes, but generally I don't. You know, there's some movies I've watched loads of times, like The Wizard of Oz, It's a Wonderful Life, or other ones, Back to the Future, probably, I've watched those a few times over the years. Groundhog Day, The Wanderers, although there's probably about 20 year gap between watching it, because it was never available anywhere.

What other ones? Airplane, the movie, Life of Brian, I've watched those a few times over the years. And the, you know, Bruce Lee films, I've watched his films many times, not recently, but over the years. He only did a handful.

I'm trying to think what other movies I've watched, sort of more than a few times, more than once. I mean, it's those that were on television, but on television every Christmas, like The Wizard of Oz, and that's the only reason I watched it. Spartacus, I seem to be on like every year.

Other movies, How the West was Won, Paint Your Wagon, those kind of movies were on every which way but loose, which is a great movie actually, really. Well, they were all the movies I mentioned are pretty much great movies of their time. But they used to show repeats on telly.

And because there was only, when I was a kid, like up to the age of 10, there was only three channels to watch. And then in about 1980, 1982, something like that, Channel 4 popped along. So there's more stuff to watch.

And then 1997, Channel 5 came along. And then suddenly Freeview appeared. And there was all these extra channels of absolute, there's all these extra channels of different things.

And which I loved to start with. I'm not really a big fan of daytime television, or evening television, or you know, I have watched them, but like Dog the Bounty Hunter, I used to watch it. So I can't moan about it or be horrible.

But I can't watch it now. I used to watch it. I used to watch the, you know, when they go to the empty, I don't want to call it, but basically lockups.

And they break the seal of the lockup and they have a, they sell, they sell the whole, whole lot. It's basically people have rented lockups, and they didn't pay. So they, they, you know, the lock was put on, and they weren't allowed access anymore, because they didn't pay until they pay up.

And after a certain amount of time, and that stuff becomes available for eBay, or whatever you call it. What's it? What's it called? Not auction. That's it.

Auction, isn't it? And you have you start this little bald man speaking. And he just go so fast. I could never understand what he said.

And there'd be maybe 10 people, 12 people. All there. This I think started in America, and then other countries followed and sort of copied the format.

And we did it here as well. And there are people arguing in the American one, the original American one had a couple of men that were separate, they were, you know, they were there with their own partners or whatever. But they used to get into fistfights nearly, I end up pushing each other around, because they really didn't like each other.

And one of the tricks was, if they knew the other person wanted something, and they didn't want it, they'd still try to get it like that. Just that sort of, what's it called? If you're an auction, vote, bid, that's it bid. So they would still bid on something just to put the price up to mess with the other person.

So something if that person wanted to spend $5,000 on the garage full of stuff, the other person would try and bid it up to maybe 10,000 and then stop. So the other person ended up paying more money than they wanted to. It's a false economy, really, because no, I don't think anyone really won, because they were always doing it to each other.

So there's no winners, but it made good viewing. Made it interesting. Now, when we had the English version, it was a similar kind of thing, really, those people that didn't get on.

But there's two standout characters. One was, I forget his name, but he ended up being on Celebrity Big Brother. And whenever he was bidding, he'd shout out, boom.

It's true. He was a big lad. And I liked him.

I did. He was one of my favourites. I just said earlier that I never watched these programs.

I did. I don't anymore. He's dead now, actually died, I think last year.

But he was on Celebrity Big Brother. And he was, it was a proper character. He's like, boom, boom.

I'm not doing it justice, but I'd have to shout it out. And also I'm not going to do that on a podcast, especially not 47 minutes in, be like, boom. And then he left.

I mean, he went on to do Celebrity Big Brother. And I guess he did other things. So I don't think he was on it anymore.

Now I don't watch it. But my friend does. And sometimes, and I was down there, probably last year, or the year before, maybe, blimey.

And there was a woman on there that I'd never seen before. And I swear, I've never been so annoyed. Whenever she was bidding, because everyone had their own little thing.

Like someone put their hand up, someone go, yep, yep. Yep. I think an American was like, give me that money.

Give me that money. Give me that money. Something like that.

Anyway, this woman would shout out, mine, mine. So mine, as in it's mine, mine, mine. Now you might think always that silly Jason is exaggerating a voice, he's putting a silly voice on.

Check it out on YouTube. Just put in whatever the name of the TV show is, UK version. Yeah.

Garage bidding, or I don't know, bid wars or whatever it's called. And just put in mine, or UK version and then mine. And I bet you it comes up.

Mine, mine. And she'd screech it out. And I had to leave.

Honestly, I'll be downstairs. I had to leave. Because he just wouldn't turn it off.

And I can't, can't listen to that. Mine. And it was, oh, that voice.

Mine. Every time she was bidding, and she bidded for everything. I mean, I felt like I got to go there.

And if I had money, I'd give her every, every wall of money she wanted just to not talk. Mine. It's like, see, please don't talk.

Just here's the money. Here's a million pounds. It's a million pounds.

Take it. It's yours. Mine.

Yes. Mine. Stop it.

It's mine. Stop. Mine.

So yeah, it was quite annoying. But I don't watch that stuff anymore. What I did used to like to watch in the early days of the preview was ITV2.

No, ITV2 and BBC3. So BBC3 used to have Family Guy on there every evening. And then ITV2 took it over after BBC3 closed.

But BBC3 was good because I had quite a few comedy shows. And they test it out on BBC3. And if it was good, then they perhaps put it on to BBC1.

Or if not, if it's good, if it got a good response, rather. So quite a few British comedies were launched on BBC3. And it was good.

It was really good. Honestly, good stuff out there that came through BBC3. So I was quite a big fan of BBC3 and ITV2.

BBC3 closed. And I think they just made it an internet television instead. And so that's no good for me.

I watch television on television. I do. I don't watch television on a laptop or a phone.

I watch it on the television. That's the only time I watch television is at home. I don't watch it when I'm out or doing other things, you know.

So I need all of my television, whether it's a movie, whether it's streaming, all to be on the television. And if it's not on the television, I don't watch it. Because the screens are not big enough for me.

Watching something on the on the tablet, it's just not big enough. It's probably, I don't know, 12 and a half inches or something. Screen, it's not big enough to be watching a movie.

Not for me. Not in my eyesight. Damn you.

I'll talk about eyesight. On Saturday, I went to the opticians, just on the off chance because I cancelled the appointment I had to get my frames fixed. I didn't feel really very well on Thursday or whatever day it was.

But when in Saturday, I passed them, I said, I've got an appointment for an eye test in a couple of weeks. And I had to cancel the appointment I had for having my frames looked at to see if they could be fixed. I just thought I just on your on your off opportunity, the off, the small chance that there may be someone to look at them now, as I'm passing, if not, that's fine.

And they said, Yeah, okay, well, if you don't mind waiting. So I waited outside for half an hour, probably 25 minutes, 20 minutes, I don't know. They're all still wearing masks, everyone's wearing masks in there.

So it's not I mean, they did say on the phone, because I didn't remember saying to him on the phone, are you used to expecting people to wear masks? And they said, Yeah, unless you're what's the right word? Not eligible or you're unless you don't have to, you know, unless you don't have to wear one. And I and I said, Well, none of us have to. The law, you know, we don't have to wear masks out.

It's not law. And I've had to the vaccines. So you know, I shouldn't have to wear a mask.

We don't have to wear masks. This isn't you're making your own laws inside your own premises. I didn't say this, but that's what they're doing.

It's like, well, no one has to wear a mask anymore. But on trains, I think you have to even know how they managed to make their own laws. Because it's not a law.

It's not a law. I think it's quite amazing that I mean, I couldn't travel a long distance wearing a mask. I couldn't do it.

You know, I did get on the bus when I had to, during the lockdown and wearing masks. And of course I wear them. And I did when I went to the opticians, I wore a mask because that's what they wanted.

Chemists or pharmacies, they're still wearing masks, doctor surgeries. So I just go by what people want. But it ain't law.

So, you know, they're just lucky they've got people that will go along with it. And you know, I'll go along with it. I don't know, I'm not bothered.

But when it comes to shops, and opticians is just a shop. They might try and make out, oh, no, we're medical. We do medical tests.

Fair enough. It's true. They do eye tests and hearing tests and stuff.

But why are they doing that? Because they're trying to sell you stuff, glasses and lenses. They're not doing it out of the kindness. They're not doing it, you know, from altruism.

They're doing it because to make money from you. So they're a shop. Ultimately, that's all they are.

Now, I'm glad we've got opticians because my eyesight is not as good as it used to be. Not as good. And I've got, blimey, I've got no idea what they're going to say.

No idea what what kind of level of deterioration my eyes have overcome, overcome, overcome, begun, required, excreted, I don't know, in the last three years since my last test. But I do need new glasses. So at least this time, when I go and they say you need new glasses, I sometimes wonder, do I? Do I really? You know, I've never been to the opticians once where they didn't say I needed new glasses.

Not just new glasses, but new lenses. Every single time since I was 15, since I was 15 years old, I've been wearing glasses for something. So since I was 15.

So what's that? 25, 35, 45. So 36 years, I've been wearing glasses. Now for when I first got glasses, it's because I was having headaches.

So I was going to the doctors, doctors sent me to optician, optician said I needed glasses, and I had a lazy eye. Don't laugh, it's not funny. I had a lazy eye, no one told me.

Now, I need to ask people I was at school with, because I'm pretty sure if I had an obviously lazy eye, I would have been made fun of, and no one ever, ever mentioned it. But they would have done. Even places I've worked at when I was in my 20s, they would have mentioned it.

They're like, oh, and I understand sometimes those are the kind of things people say behind your back, but I would have heard it. Or someone would have told me, you couldn't, you couldn't go for your whole life not knowing. It's like, but I actually had, and this is true, I had to wear a patch on my good eye to train my bad eye, or bad eye, I don't know, to correct itself, to try.

And I had to do these exercises with my fingers. It's true. It might be in a pencil, and I'd have the patch on, and I'd be moving around.

So I was wearing a patch for a while with glasses, and the glasses were for all the time. They weren't just for reading, they were for all the time. In fact, I probably didn't need them for reading.

Now, when I went to school, and this was the very last, I mean, this is, we're talking 1986, beginning of the year, probably January, February time. And maybe even March, I mean, we're talking not long before the end when I left school. I left school when I was 15, in the April of 1986.

I was 16 at the end of August. So I left school. So it was probably about a month or two before I left school.

Now in my memory, it was, I started wearing glasses after I left school. But I remember being at school and people laughing at me, because they'd never seen me wear glasses before. I was, well, I never wore glasses.

So it was a big, I don't know why it would be such a big shock. But it was. So people were making fun of me.

Now, I don't think I wore, I didn't wear the patch at school. I weren't going to go that far. I wore the patch when I was at home.

So in the evenings, when I got home, I put the patch on so that I was only using one eye to try and, you know, strengthen it. But no way in the world I was going to do that at school, I might as well just have a sign on my neck saying punch me, you know, that was just, it, it would just be silly, it would, because not that anyone would have done that. But it would have been, I'd have been asking for hassle, which I didn't need, you know, especially not at that age, there's a lot of teenage angst and testosterone.

And, you know, it's quite a volatile situation. In 15 year olds and 16 year olds, all kind of huddled together in classrooms. And yeah, it's not a great environment.

So I did want to kind of spark off a flame. Plus, I didn't want to wear a patch. I remember it was a brown.

Well, no, it was like a cream, creamy coloured with an elastic, well not elastic band, but like a elastic round. It was a really rubbish patch. It wasn't an exciting patch.

And I don't even remember if it was my left or my right eye. I don't remember. I did at the time.

I knew which one it was at the time. But I don't remember now. And so I wore glasses, probably for about a month.

And then I didn't like them. I thought no, nope. And I stopped wearing them.

And I think I just stopped altogether. I didn't wear them at all from, yeah, probably from the time I started working in a chip shop, which would have been April 86. So by the time I'd left school, that was it.

I didn't wear them anymore. Whether I wore them to read with, I don't think so either. No, I don't think I even did that.

So I didn't read, I didn't wear them anymore. And I didn't really get the headaches anymore either. So, but then I wasn't reading as much as I used to.

At school, I was always reading. So maybe the headaches was from the reading. I don't know.

Who knows? Yeah, maybe listening to the teachers. That used to give me a headache. So when I left school, there was a lot of stress reduction, having no longer needing to go to school.

I was almost, it was a release. It was like I'd been released from prison. It was just, you know, even though I had no plans, no future really to plan for, nothing.

And I went into the first job I could find, which was a low paid menial job, which meant I was stinking all the time of chips and fish and stuff. And it was a silly, silly choice. But hey, I was 15 years old.

That's it. Don't need a better excuse than that. I was 15.

But I didn't wear glasses again until I was 19, 19. So it's 1989, probably about October time, went to the opticians. And I feel I might have been getting headaches.

I don't know. But I needed glasses for reading, not for anything else, they said. So I got glasses.

I remember I got them home. And I think the first day I got them, I sat on them. They were on my bed.

I saw like, I think I did have a chair in the room as well. But you know, it was just a little room. But I sat on them.

Like brilliant, well done. Not the first or last time either. I've done that a few times, actually.

And from then on, every time I had an eye test, which is every couple of years, sometimes I go a few years without doing it. When I was just wearing glasses for reading, I didn't pay too much attention. So sometimes I'd go three years.

But every time, you need new glasses, you need new, new every time, every single time. And then, and then I went ages. Honestly, I probably went about three, four, five years, maybe four years.

It's quite a while. And I think it was 2013. No, it was 2014.

I went to the opticians, and they said I needed glasses all the time. Not only that, they gave me Virofocals or whatever, it's like three different lenses. One was for reading, one was for distance, and one was for the computer screen.

And that was the first time. So 2014 was the first time that I was wearing glasses all the time. So I was what, 43 years old.

So I guess I did alright, you know, got to 43 without wearing them all the time. Because bearing in mind, when I was 15, I was told I needed to wear them all the time. So I had those.

And then I had when I got my other next eye test, I couldn't afford to have because I spent like a 300 pound on those and I was working so I could afford it. So the next time I bought my test, which is probably the last time I had actually, so 14, 15, 16, 17, 18. Yeah, 2018, I think was the last time I had my test.

And they, they said, we need glasses all the time, we need new lenses. And I said, Well, I'm gonna have to have two different lenses. I can't do the bivocals or five vocals or whatever.

I just need two different, two different pairs of glasses, one for distance, one for reading. Because it's the cheapest, cheaper way to do it. I couldn't afford the like special lenses or anything.

That's what I did. And I do believe, in fact, there might have been another one since then. So it might have been twice.

But it's been three years anyway, since I last had an eye test. And these lenses, I'm pretty sure that you know, these actual frames are the frames I had the via the special vocal, bivocal focal thingy-majigs in. And they changed the frame, because the frame I got before was cheaper.

And this was more expensive. I like this frame. So I got them to change them over.

Put the you know, the current thing in current prescription into the, the frames that I liked. And it's an active light as well, so that it goes dark in the in the summer, or in the sunlight, or light. And part of that reason is because to keep my eyes as safe as possible from sunlight deterioration, stuff like that, that may be happening.

Because this hereditary thing, macro degeneration, that's in my family, my dad's got it, my nan had it, my aunt's got it. So it's is a chance. And they did say that it looks like it possibly, I might have the beginnings of it, because of how quickly my eyes had kind of deteriorated vision wise, especially with distance.

So yeah, we'll see. So I was thinking, I was thinking I might get, you know, Roy Orbison, those dark glasses he used to wear, I was thinking to get inside them. How cool would it be to be able to be anywhere and be inside and have those dark glasses.

And no one knows why. No one knew why he had them. And I think, you know, if it also especially if it's got a protected lens, that keeps the sunlight out of my eyes.

So I can. Yeah, so really dark lenses. But ones that I can see out of well, you know, I don't want I don't want sunglasses, I want to be able to see but stop the light from getting through.

So I'm thinking I might go Roy Orbison style. Yeah. And then sideburns.

Oh, yeah, I might get a whole hog. Big old collars. Big old collars.

Oh, cowboy boots. I might really go down here. Roy Orbison.

The look the whole look and nothing but the look. Oh, yeah. Anyway, I'm gonna go.

So thank you for listening. Remember, remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Do something nice for yourself.

Treat yourself maybe treat your partner, your kids, do something lovely. Even if even if it's like a jigsaw puzzle or playing a board game or watching a TV show or listening to your favorite album. Having a bath and a chocolate bar treating yourself to something that you enjoy doing.

Okay. Take care. Lots of love.

Bye.