#733 Let me bore you to sleep - BEING PASSIONATE - Jason Newland (22nd September 2021)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes Just in case you didn't know, I do have other podcasts which I've been updating quite regularly. So I've got the deep sleep whisper hypnosis.

I've got the this one, let me bore you to sleep. I've got what other ones have I got? Oh yeah, relax and sleep hypnosis daily. There's the Jason's bedtime story time.

There's boring objects and there's stress and pain relief podcast. They're the six ones that I do regularly, which is quite a lot. And so yeah, check them out.

If you fancy it, if you're bored or if you want to be bored, check them out. Yeah, they're really, um, they're, they're, they're podcasts. I don't know.

They're just me talking. Talking. That's it.

I've the last few days, I've been doing pretty much five recordings a day. So this is, this is turning into some kind of full time occupation, which it never was supposed to be. I mean, ideally, I would do just one recording a day and spend a couple of hours.

And that's it. You know, a couple of hours, including a recording and then editing, uploading, and the little bits I need to do, like making an image and sharing on Facebook and Twitter, Twitter and, um, then adding it to my website. So, you know, if I was kind of, yeah, I could do that in two hours, one recording.

Pretty, yeah, I could, I could all be done in two hours, one. But five recordings, that's 10 hours. That's a lot.

It's a lot of time in a day. So, um, blimey 10 hours. So yeah, so that's what I'm doing at the moment.

It's a bit of an experiment. The experiment is to see what kind of, um, without saying the word stats or statistics. It's just seeing kind of what, what kind of numbers I can get is as far as downloads go.

And it has gone up. And yes, the day before yesterday, I had 18,000 downloads. Yesterday I had over 20,000.

So today, probably, I say probably it's still over two and a half hours left of the day. And I have 18,747 downloads. So based on kind of normal stats, I'll be looking at 21,000, maybe 22,000 downloads, maybe 21.

I don't know. There's going to be more than it was yesterday. So yeah, so I'm just, I won't talk any more about the stats.

I'll promise. That's my nose growing. So yeah, today, I've just been fairly I don't know if busy is the right word, because I haven't, I haven't done everything that I need to do.

I'm very behind still on the adding the podcast to my website. So I'm behind on that. I'm behind on making the images for the podcasts.

And I'm behind on sharing them on Facebook and Twitter. I'm behind on a lot of stuff, including the setup to possibly stream, stream these podcasts. As I make them.

I haven't taken a few days off of streaming. I kind of prefer to do without, if I'm honest. It's just easier.

I don't have to get dressed up. I mean, if you watch my video, you might think you didn't really get dressed up, did you? You look just like normal clothes, t-shirt, scraggly hair, like normal. Like you haven't brushed your hair since you were five years old.

A bit rude, a bit rude. My friend said to me the other day, he said, why? Because I've been shaving my head. Usually, I don't know, once a month, I shave it all off.

And he said to me, how come you're not shaving your head anymore? And I said to him, well, to be honest, I'd like to have sex again. It's like, not going to happen if I'm a baldy, because being bald does not suit me. Having hair doesn't suit me, but being bald suits me less.

And it's nothing against bald people, because I've been bald. I spent the majority of the last 20 years, well, maturity, a lot of the last 20 years completely bald through choice. But I'm going to just, I'm going to have some hair for a while.

Why not? I mean, I'm not completely gray, you know, so I've got gray hairs, but I've still got a lot of dark hair still on my head. And it's a manageable length at the moment. It's not messy, it's not curly, particularly, it's just, it's just there.

It's just sitting there. Sitting there like a penguin, waiting for a bus, you know, it's just, it's just there. It's not, I'm not saying my hair looks like a penguin.

It doesn't. It might look like a hairpiece though, might look like a wig, which I really don't want it to look like. But, and that's a problem, because if you don't go gray, as you get older, some people do have dark hair for a long time.

Never sure whether or not they dye it or not. But you have to have some gray once you hit your 50s. Because if you've got jet black hair, or I don't have black hair, I have brown hair with ginger bits.

So if I had no gray, and I continued all the way through to my 60s, people would assume that I'm wearing a wig. And I'm not. Maybe someone said to me, do you, do you dye your hair? To me once, yeah.

And I said, yeah, I dye my hair, and then I leave bits at the front and at the side gray. Like, if I could dye my hair, it would all be the same color, wouldn't it? I wouldn't have gray bits. I mean, the gray's in the roots, but not at the end.

Yeah, like, I mean, what? Although, I don't know, I might consider, I might consider having my hair colored. Like a blue rinse. Like, old people in the past used to have a blue rinse.

But now, there seems to be either you're gray, or you're not gray. There doesn't seem to be that in between bit, which I'm kind of going through. And I don't seem to see many women do that.

Like, go from, yeah, I've seen many women in their 60s and 70s with, without any gray. And it's almost impossible to get to 40 really without grays, but to get to 50 without any gray, to get to 60 without any gray, that's, I mean, of course, there are some people, there's going to be some people, but there's some people that are over seven foot tall. Yeah, some people can swim across the ocean.

It's not like, but not everybody can. It's not like a standard thing. Not everybody can sit in front of a microphone and talk absolute rubbish non-stop every day.

Some would class it as possibly a mental disorder. I think of it as a skill. It's a talent.

But psychiatrists might differ. They might think, yep, it's all part of your condition, Mr. Newland. It's all part of your condition.

So yeah, everything's going okay. Everything's all right. I went out today just to the shops with a friend and we just went up there and walked back and sat in the park and it's because it was a nice day.

It was sunny and it was lovely. Just sat there for about maybe 15, 20 minutes, had a chat and then came home. But he's not very well, so we went out.

We didn't go out for long. But it was quite nice. I'd just been out earlier, about 10 o'clock I went out for a walk to the shop because I just, I've been in all day apart from that.

That was, I don't know, two o'clock in the afternoon. One o'clock, something like that, 1.30. And I just, I wanted to get out. I just needed to get out, stretch my legs, have a little walk.

You know, but the thing is now it's darker in the evenings. A month ago or maybe six weeks ago, it was still light at 10 o'clock or lightish. Although the other night, I think it was two o'clock in the morning, I looked out and it was light outside.

The moon, it must have had a really clear sky and the moon, I guess, was so bright that the garden was lit up and it was light. There was, it's really weird and there are evenings like that. I don't know if you've ever, if you ever awake at, you know, during the night.

And some people aren't, are they? Some people go to bed at 9, 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock and they wake up in the morning, six or seven or eight and they never get to see the night time. And you're missing out a little bit because night, night time is quite nice. It's a lot more peaceful.

There's not a lot happening, which I quite like. I've got no issue with daytime either. Daytime is fine.

I'm not prejudiced against daytime. But night time is, it's, yes, it's a, it's a good time to be awake sometimes. It's a nice time to just listen to some music, work on the website, do some editing, do some of that stuff.

And just chill out and relax for a few hours while I do that. Maybe listen to a couple of albums on Spotify or a playlist of whoever. Sometimes I listen to a little bit of Elvis.

I'll tell you who I have become a fan of. I've always liked them. But recently, I've really come to appreciate the Bee Gees.

You thought I was going to say the Wurzels, didn't you? No, the Bee Gees. Really come to appreciate the Bee Gees. And I just, because they had so much fun.

So many hits. So many. And I love them all.

I just love them. And I'm not that bothered about the really big ones, you know, like Staying Alive and all that. I just, all, all of the things, all of the songs that were, that topped the charts or were in the top 10 or whatever, that they released from the 60s onwards.

I love them. I love them. Because I actually had the Bee Gees, I'll do it, the Bee Gees greatest hits as a birthday present, I think, in about 1979.

1979, their greatest hits. And then, of course, they went on to do other stuff. Although I don't know what they did during the 80s.

I know that they had a big, there was a big resurgence in about 87. No, no, yes, yes, no. Yes, 87, We Win Again.

We Win Again. We Win Again. And For Who The Bell Tolls, I'm not sure when that was.

Love that song. Oh, I love it. And then they did another song in about 97.

And I really like that as well. That might have been For Who The Bell Tolls. I'm not sure.

For Who The Bell Tolls. Just in case you, I need to, I want to Google it. I want to search.

I want to check. I just need to know. Do you know when you need to know something? That's how I feel.

That's how I feel now. Bee Gees hits. The Bee Gees hits.

Let's have a look at all of them. Right. One of my favorite is, because their first hits is the late 60s.

1968, Massachusetts. And again, 1968. I Started A Joke.

1967, To Love Somebody. Great song. Holiday.

I don't, I don't know about that. How deep is your love? How deep is, how deep is? I just want to know. Cause we're living in the world of fools.

Bringing us down. And you all should let us be. You belong to me and me.

That was an exact replica of that song. Stay, obviously 1977, Staying Alive and all that stuff. Tragedy.

1979. I'm just looking. They didn't seem to do anything in the 80s.

How unusual. They didn't seem to have any hits in the 80s, like the early 80s. I remember watching a documentary on them.

I think they just became not unpopular, but just not as popular as they were. Like it's almost like they were forgotten because it had such a huge success at different times. Oh yeah.

New York Mining Disaster, 1941. And that was Bee Gees, 1967. Brilliant.

And I gotta get a message to you, my love. New lab, how you ever gonna bet it be true? Can you mend a broken heart? So nothing, nothing 1980. Jive talking, jive talking, don't get me wrong.

Jive talking, don't get me wrong. To love somebody, to love somebody, to love somebody, the way I love you. From To Who The Bell Tolls, Where is that one? For Whom The Bell Tolls, that was 1993.

So they did Who Wins Again, Who Wins Again, which was 1980. You win again, you win again. I can't find it.

There's so many. There's so many, man. You win again.

You should be dancing, dancing. Okay, 1980, 19... So For Whom The Bell Tolls was 93, but 1988, 19... It was 1987, I think. 1987 was the You Win Again.

I'm actually looking at it, but I can't find it. But I've got all the right glasses. And then in 1990... 1997 alone.

1997... Ah, Immortality, 1998. So I don't know. How deep is your heart? You Win Again, 1987.

Yeah, see? Alone, alone might have been the 97. So 87 and 97, that might have been the one that I'm thinking of. Or it could be Immortality, 1998.

But I really liked it. A lot. They had nine number one hits.

And they had 20 Hot 100 singles in America. Yeah, what was the Bee Gees most famous song? Staying Alive, obviously. How deep is your love? Number two, Night Fever.

Night Fever. And number four, More Than A Woman. More than a woman.

More than a woman. More than a woman to me. Three, Tragedy.

Right, he's trying to play a song. To love someone, you should be dancing. More than a woman, Night Fever.

Night Fever, 1999. You can't stop the music. How deep is your love? How deep is your... Yeah.

Oops, oops. Sorry about that, it's starting to play. Get rid of that.

But I like to listen to the Bee Gees. And technically, you know, if you listen to it, on some level it's really awful. And I don't mean that in a horrible way, because I love them.

But like, that kind of screechy... You know... Just... You know it's trap talking, you're giving your life. Trap talking, you're giving your life. One little time, you never know, how much it means to me.

Right. I think, individually, they probably couldn't pull it off. But because they complemented each other's screeches.

It turned into... Something beautiful. But who the bell tolls? That's one of my favourite songs, I love that song. But who the bell tolls? It was the one... I told a joke.

I told a joke. I got the whole world laughing. But they never see.

The joke was on me. Oh. I started to cry.

I started the whole world laughing. And they didn't see. But you didn't see.

Oh. Oh. How could it be? I like that song as well.

I'm not sure if I'm doing them justice. Not that they need justice. They're not on trial.

It's amazing, there's one left. There's only one left now. And he was like the lead singer.

But they all... You need all of them. Because if it had just been Barry. It wouldn't have worked.

Because his pitch. On it's own. I'm not saying it wouldn't have worked.

He might have been hugely successful on his own. A clearly amazing song writer. So there's no reason why he couldn't have been a star.

But. I love Barry. It was his beard.

I think I just always loved his beard. Just. He's one of those people I wanted to meet.

And just so I could just. Just stroke his beard like a little cat. Just put him on my lap.

And just stroke his beard. And just pat him and say. There there.

There there. How deep is your love? I'm trying to think of other people with beards. I mean in the 70's.

Everyone seemed to have a beard. Have you heard that? That crack. That was my ankle.

I was doing my stretching exercises earlier today. And. I can't really demonstrate them.

On a podcast. It kind of. The physical movement.

May be a little bit lost in translation. But anyway. I kind of do these things.

I pull my knees to my chest. And then I move from side to side. Just to.

Extend and stretch my hips. And my lower back. And normally I do it.

But it's fine. But today it clicked. It doesn't normally click.

Which is a good thing. It's a good thing that it clicked. That it sort of released something.

I don't know what. And then I did my squats. Because I do squats when I get out of bed.

And. And normally when I do the squats. I go down.

On the squat. And then I stand up straight. And I usually hear my lower back click.

Didn't click this time. So. Clearly.

Well I'm just assuming. That that stretching exercise. That I did.

Really kind of helped. Align. Whether it's my spine.

Or my hips. Or. My back.

Or I don't know. Maybe my shoulders. Who knows what's causing the problems.

But it was nice. I was like wow this is good. Because I do squats every day.

And obviously if I. If I lived in countries that didn't have. Like normal toilets. I'd have to.

I'd have been brought up in order to do squats. Because you do don't you. You have to squat down to go to the toilet.

In some countries. If you're living in a country like that. It might be interesting to know.

That here we have toilets. Where you can just sit down and relax. And I'm just thinking.

I reckon everybody. In a country where they have to squat down. They must have the best legs.

They must have like. Strongest legs in the world. To be doing that.

Especially. You know if you're constipated. Imagine like.

Just crouching down for like two hours. Wow. You'd be like a Kung Fu expert.

And I should explain what I mean by that. Some part of the Kung Fu training. The Shaolin.

And the Kung Fu's. They get you to do squats. And you stand there.

And. It's to strengthen your core. To strengthen your leg muscles.

And your back and all that stuff. You see it in quite a few Kung Fu movies. Like the early ones.

Like in the 70's with Jackie Chan. For example. I bought quite a few.

Kung Fu books when I was a kid. Which showed. How to do it.

Showed you the. The forms. Or we call them like Karate's maybe.

If you do Karate. A routine. Where you just go through lots of different movements.

Which is almost like. Fighting a pretend person. Like an invisible person.

And part of the training with the Kung Fu. Was to crouch down. In a squatting position.

Literally looking like you're ready to drop one out. But. Remember I said.

So I can hear buzzing. I can you know. I think we've got um.

Bees in the attic. Well I know there's bees in the attic. But I don't know if they're my part of the attic.

But my friend said. He could hear buzzing the other day. Buzzing he said.

I said buzzing. He said yeah buzzing. I said wow.

Not sure if I. Like that. He said well why would you like it. I said I don't know.

And we rolled around. Laughing. So yeah.

Well I rolled he just sat there. Because I couldn't get up. Because of my big fat belly.

So yeah. You know I felt really nostalgic there. When I was talking about the Kung Fu.

Because I did Karate. For a couple of years. The last couple of years of schooling.

I went to do Karate. Two times a week. At the other high school.

Tuesday and Thursday evening. And I loved it. It was the first thing.

In my life. Outside. That didn't involve reading books.

That I loved doing. Never ever liked. Any activity.

Ever. Until that. And I. Loved.

Everything about it. Even the things that were horrible. Like stretching.

Didn't like stretching. But I just loved. Stretching.

It's kind of a weird. It was painful. It was horrible.

Didn't like it. And I didn't. I don't think.

I ever really had. The best flexibility. Like natural.

Ability for kicking. High. I could kick high.

But I was short. So my high was someone else's kneecaps. But it's still.

My other knee just clicked now. Blimey. I couldn't.

Because some people could kick. And they literally. It's almost like they were splitting half.

They would kick so high. To the point of. You would never need to kick that high.

And they were literally. Kicking themselves in the head. It was too high.

But I could never do that. I could never do the splits. Never.

Just couldn't. And. Part of me thought.

It was immoral to do the splits. I don't know why. It just felt like.

I shouldn't be able to. It's wrong. But that might just be.

Because I couldn't do it. And therefore I thought. There should be a universal law.

Banning it. But hey if I did that. For everything that I wasn't able to do.

Nothing. It would just be. It would just be laws for everything.

Because I can't do. Nout. I can't do much.

No. My skill level is. Pretty much zero.

I don't really have any skills. I'm ok. At a few things.

I would say I was pretty good at selling. Like when I did telesales. So yeah.

I was good at that. But outside of that. I don't know really.

Quite. I mean. I loved website building.

In like 2000. But I wasn't any good at it. I enjoyed doing it.

I loved it. I was passionate. On a level that.

I couldn't even understand myself. Why I loved it so much. But I think it's something about.

Having a blank page. And creating something. Out of nothing.

And also being able to do something. That most people. Couldn't do at that time.

It wasn't. I mean the internet was. Very young.

At that point. Of course there was. Thousands.

Maybe hundreds of thousands of people. That could build websites. But compared to how many people can do it now.

And I don't know why. I fell in love with it. But then hypnosis is another thing.

I just fell in love. Fell in love with hypnosis. Absolutely.

I was. I guess obsessed. Possibly.

When I first got involved. NLP as well. But then I. When I did my degree.

I was not obsessed with counselling. Isn't that ironic. The one thing that.

I would have benefited most. From being obsessed with. Something that.

An obsession would have really. Really. Benefited me and helped me.

In a way that. I didn't. Appreciate at the time.

You know I would have got really good grades. Or my. Coursework would have been in on time.

You know it's just. It would have been easy. Everything would have been easy.

Not that I wanted everything to be easy. I'm just saying it would have been. Because I was absolutely.

If I'd have been absolutely. Obsessed. With everything to do with counselling.

The degree. But I wasn't. I was mildly.

Interested. I was interested in doing it. Otherwise I wouldn't have done it.

But I wasn't. I didn't have that. Obsession.

That I had with. Stand up comedy. And I was no good at it.

I had some brilliant gigs. But I had more. Bad gigs than good gigs.

You know. I wasn't. I wasn't successful at all.

In comedy. But I was obsessed. You know I would.

But. I've probably not told you this before. I forgot about it.

I've not told you. See. I decided.

In. It was probably about April. 1990.

I was sitting in a bath. Not a bath. It wasn't my bath but my dad's.

I was staying with him. For a while. So I was.

Laying in the bath. And I decided. That I was going to become a comedian.

Now the previous year. I had started. Collecting.

Stand up comedy. Videos. I had a big collection.

And I think that was. Kind of my. Inspiration I suppose.

It's then that I. I think 1989. Was the year. Where I. Where my.

Turtle head popped out of the shell. In a way. I kind of.

Started to notice. What I was like as a person. Started to.

Become a bit. I guess a bit self aware. Maybe not.

In a way of. How other people are perceiving me. Because I still don't really know.

And if that's. Lack of self awareness then fine. But to me self awareness.

Is more than that. It's knowing yourself. But I suppose part of that is.

Gauging the response. That you get from. Another person.

During a conversation. Potentially like. The first meeting.

You get to like oh. Maybe. I might.

Perhaps I shouldn't have done that. Perhaps next time. I get invited around for dinner.

I'll wear trousers. You know just little things like that. Little things like that.

Little things like that. Should have stressed the like that bit. That's what I was aiming at.

Yeah like that. Just like that. But I was obsessed with it.

And. What I used to do. Is I collected loads of.

Comedy albums. During 1990. Because I was working nights.

I had another job. In the early evening as well. So I was for the first.

Well I was making more money than. I'd ever earned in my life at that time. Because I had two jobs.

Basically two full time jobs really. Because I was getting paid. For.

I think six hours. And only working two or three hours. In the evening.

And then I was working eight hours during the night. So I was getting. I think about.

120 to 150 quid. For the evening job. And then.

I don't know. 800 pound a month. 700 pound a month.

Or whatever for the night job. 170 a week. Or I don't know.

I forget. It was like kind of average. OK wage.

At the time. So I was spending my money on. Comedy albums.

That was the thing that I really. Just was a you know. Every month at the end of the month.

When I got paid. I'd go to London. Because I wasn't living in London.

During that year. I moved back in 1991 January. But during 1990.

Every week. Every month at the end of the week. At the end of every month.

That's it. At the end of every month. When I got paid.

I would go to London. And go to. The record stores.

The big ones. You know like Virgin. Tower Records.

HMV. And any others that were around. And I would buy.

Comedy albums. Either in tape format. Or.

Vinyl. Now. I don't know if DVD.

Not DVD. If CDs were around then. I can't remember.

But I didn't used to buy them. Only tapes. And a lot of these were exported.

Or imported from America. So you couldn't get them. In a normal record store.

There was no internet. So I was getting stuff. That I never would have gotten.

Anywhere else. That I knew about. So I was getting things like.

Woody Allen live in concert. I had. I was buying.

George Carlin albums. Bill Cosby albums. I was able to get second hand.

So I was going to the. Second hand shops as well. Music shops.

To get old comedy albums. So I had a nice collection. And.

I was able to get. Stuff like Steve Wright. Emo Phillips.

From London. Lenny Bruce. What other ones.

Rodney Dangerfield. Robin Williams. Steve Martin live.

Because he did his live concert. Albums in the 70's didn't he. I think maybe early 80's.

What other ones was there. Whoopi Goldberg. She did a one man show.

One woman show rather. In. I can't remember it was brilliant though.

If you've never seen it. You'll probably see it on YouTube. Whoopi Goldberg.

What's the equivalent. To. London.

The theatre. There's a big place. Theatre in.

In America. I can't think. I mean I know Richard Pryor did.

Richard Pryor. I know Richard Pryor did. The Sunset Strip.

So I bought. Albums of his. I probably bought some DV.

Some video tapes as well. When I got a chance. But I'd go to London.

And I'd probably spend. A couple of hundred pounds. Every time.

On albums. So I'd come back with bags. Full of stuff.

And I loved it. I really loved it. And.

Andrew Dice Clay. Sam Kinison. People that.

In this country. Weren't really known about. Yeah.

If you just said. Do you know Andrew Dice Clay. Do you know Sam Kinison.

Or do you know Bill Hicks. Do you know. Trying to think of other people.

Do you know Lenny Bruce. Do you know George Carlin. Most.

At that time. Most English people probably would have said no. Is that a footballer.

Is it your next door neighbour. Is it a joke. No.

Is he hiding in your underpants. No he's not. Why would you even say that.

Did he eat all your cheese. No he's not a neighbour. He's just.

He's a comedian. So I had all these albums. And a lot of albums.

I say a lot. But it was a nice. A really nice collection.

And I ended up selling them. To raise the money. For me to move to London.

So I kept the tapes. But I sold all the albums. The vinyl.

Which is a shame. Because I wish I kept them now. But if I had everything that I'd ever purchased.

Over the years. There wouldn't be enough room here. Because on many occasions.

I've ended up chucking away everything. Or giving away everything. Sometimes to charity.

I gave hundreds of books away. To charity when I was at university. Because there was no room for my books.

Because I was in this tiny little room. So I went from. A fairly big room.

With probably. 500 books. Into this little room.

And I had all these books. In these big plastic containers. Stacked to the ceiling.

And I kept tripping over them. And in the end. I just.

Gave them away. Not all of them. I didn't give away the hypnosis books.

But I gave away. Um. All the counselling books either.

Because I needed those. Because I've been reading counselling books. Since the late 90s.

Long. 10 years before I even started my counselling training. I was reading books.

By Carl Rogers. And books about. Person centred counselling.

And all that kind of stuff. So I had a little bit of. A little bit of knowledge.

About it. But I think the books I gave away. Was probably the poetry books.

The books on philosophy. The. Yeah.

A lot of that kind of stuff. I gave away. I had some really good books.

What were the books I gave away? The religious books. So I had loads of books on Buddhism. I mean loads.

Huge. Well it was. I say loads.

Well about 60. 60 books on Buddhism. So I gave them.

I donated them to the Buddhist Centre. I say maybe 100. But it was quite a few.

So I gave them to the Buddhist Centre. So that was them gone. And then.

I'm trying to think. What other books. I probably kept the psychology books.

Because that would be useful for the. Degree that I was doing. So I probably kept hold of those.

Yeah. I can't completely remember. But.

But going back. Yeah to the. 1990.

All the albums and stuff. I was really passionate. I knew.

Right from that moment I was in the bath. That I decided. I'm going to be a comedian.

And I was determined to do it. And no matter what happened. During 1990.

And a few things happened. I was still determined. To move to London.

And. Without any job to go to. Anywhere to live.

I just. I was determined to do it. And do what I did.

And I went up there. For. I think just for the day.

I knew where I was going to try and get a room. And I ended up finding someone. And I went there.

And I said. Yeah I'd like to move in. And I left a deposit.

And I said. I'm moving on the weekend. The 16th or something.

January. So I moved in. And.

Gave them more money and stuff. I probably had. Maybe £150.

To my name. I saved up £150. Which.

Although not a lot. The rent was. £40 a week.

So I was okay for. About 2 or 3 weeks. But then.

The job that I thought I was going to have. Fell through. So there was.

Nothing I could do. I thought what am I going to do. I'm going to have to move back.

And then my landlady. Because I told her. I had a job to go to.

Because I thought I did. But that didn't work out. And she said to me.

Oh wait a minute. I might know someone who can help you. And it turns out her best friend.

Was the HR. Manager of a bakery. A huge bakery.

That was local. So she. Got me an interview.

In the kitchen. To be catering. And you know.

Serving up. Cooking and serving up food. For the workers.

The canteen. And I got that job. It turned out.

He said to me. You had the job. So my supervisor.

Who was a chef. He said. I had no choice but to give you the job.

Because she's the boss. And I said. You would have given it to me though.

And he said nope. I said come on. We're friends now.

We've known each other for a few months. He said no. Definitely not even less now.

That I know you. I thought why would you say something like that. He said because you keep farting.

This is a food area. We're trying to serve food. People think that the.

Sausage. The sausages are off. And that the lasagna is off.

Because all they can smell is your farts. I said that was. That was unnecessary.

And he said I'm trying to tell you. That's why it's unnecessary. Why can't you stick your arse out the window.

Like everyone else. They had an arse window. It wasn't a proper window.

It was a hole in the wall. Almost like shaped like a peach. And you just.

If you needed to. To let one off you just quickly run. And just backed into it.

And. Bad luck for anyone. Outside having a cigarette.

Because it was quite. A combustible situation. And then that kind of didn't really.

It. Luckily for me it didn't work out. Because I went there to do comedy.

And. It's. I was working during the day.

And. I think Monday or Saturday morning. So I could do the comedy the evening.

Which I did. And. But then.

I got made. Redundant and the. I made a mistake.

Because they were taking us back on. They said you get made redundant. But a new company took over the contract.

So. The bakery was in charge. And then suddenly they brought a company in.

Because it would be cheaper. We get paid less. And I was going to get interviewed.

For my job. Now what happened is. This.

This person. This man or woman came in. And was just.

I didn't know who she was. I thought she was like an agency worker. Or something.

So I told her about all the scams. Not scams but the. The shortcuts.

And how we could get away without doing much work. And how to skive. And where to hide.

And have a little nap. Turned out she was the boss. Of this company.

So I kind of knew that. I probably wasn't going to get that job. Because I had to interview for it.

So I'd already been offered a job. In the actual bakery itself. Working where they produced the bread.

Because when they found out we were being made redundant. They said yeah you're welcome. You come work here.

Good money which it was. Hard work which it really was. Hardest job I ever had.

And. Long hours. Shifts.

Oh yes really. It was full on. It just took over my whole life.

But I needed a job. So I took it. I took it on.

And the first. Not the first week. But within a month.

I did one week. Where I did 100 hours. And I took home.

£250. In one week. Never.

To be fair. I probably had earned that much. Because before that I was doing those two jobs together.

But I'd never earned that much. And. Was it £350.

I'm sure it was £250. But anyway. It was like wow.

That's a lot of money. But if I'd have stuck at that job. Because I had to cancel loads of gigs.

I had booked. Like these open spots. That were like free performances.

To try and show them. What I had. The fact is I didn't actually have anything.

To show. But I didn't know that. And they didn't know that.

We all found out together. It was brilliant. It was like this big experiment.

That went wrong. And. If I'd have stayed at the job in the bakery.

I think. After a year or two. The whole.

The comedy would have just gone. Just disappeared. For me.

In my life. However some things happened. And I ended up working.

In an agency. Where I only worked during the day. So I could go back.

It was very menial hard work. But very very low paid. Like really low paid.

And I would. I think it was something like. Was it like a pound an hour.

Or something stupid like that. No not a pound an hour. £1.90 an hour.

A pound an hour would be £40. I was taken home. For about £100 a week.

Yes. Actually I think it was. £97 a week.

I think when I first started doing it. But I had the evenings free. And what I would do when I got home.

I had a desk. Or this big table in my room. That I was living.

And I would write. I would get home. I had something to eat.

And then I would write. Sometimes I would have the telly on. At the same time.

But I would write. Just trying to think up jokes. And stuff.

And I did that for years. And years and years. For at least probably four years.

Solid. When I was living there. And that's all I did.

I worked and I wrote in the evening. And at the weekends. When I wasn't gigging.

And the rest of the time I would be out. Performing or visiting comedy clubs. Yes.

So I'm just trying to think. I think probably. After the first year or two.

I started. Getting up earlier. And going and buying newspapers.

In the morning. And then writing. Trying to get some jokes out of the newspapers.

Not already written jokes. But just out of the stories. To try and maybe be a bit more.

Not so much political. But current. Topical maybe.

Even. So yes. I did that for years.

And I never got disheartened. Not really. I did.

But I always sort of bounced back. Always bounced back. Years and years.

And years. All the way up to. 1998.

In January. Which was my last ever gig. So January 1991.

To January 1998. It's weird really. Think about it.

Wow. So I. I went through periods. When I lost a little bit of interest.

I'll be honest. But I still kept doing it. I still kept coming back.

I'd have a break. And then I'd come back. And I'd.

You know one of the things. That used to give me the biggest buzz. Was when I thought of a joke.

That I thought was funny. You know. No one else found it funny.

But I. I did. And that gave me almost. It made the day worthwhile.

For me. Yeah. Mmm.

And that's it. There's just something I put in. I don't know if I've shared that before.

But I used to have these pads. Writing pads. You know like the refill pads.

You get A4 size. And I'd just start a new pad. Give it a title.

Like number 1 or number 2. Number 32. Number 73. You know I'd add a lot of them.

And I'd just do it almost like a diary. Write the date. At the top of the page.

Maybe the time sometimes. And I'd just write. If I had nothing else on.

I could just sit there writing. For hours. In fact.

Maybe it's time. I got back into a little bit of writing. Keeping a journal.

But I sometimes think. That's what I'm doing here. In a way.

You know. I don't know. You know I don't know.

I know you don't know. You know what I mean. No.

I don't know what you mean. Well that's it for me. For today.

Thanks for listening. Remember. To be kind to yourself.

Because you deserve to be happy. Do something nice for yourself. Don't just be kind.

But be gentle with yourself. Lots of love. Bye.