#703 Let me bore you to sleep - IM A GUNSLINGING PACIFIST - Jason Newland (9th August 2021)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I hope you're well and during this podcast episode I will be guiding you through a nice boring conversation, more of a monologue I guess, where you can relax and feel very calm inside and then you can just let yourself fall asleep if that is indeed your intention.

That's a good introduction wasn't it? Very professional. Very professional. Tasted lovely.

So hey, how you doing? You alright? Are you well? Good. Today I've been a busy, busy, busy, busy bee. Busy, busy.

I've made, well this is my fifth recording today. Five! Five? Yeah. Five! It's true.

I might even make another one. I nearly, I did, I nearly made another one before making this one but then I decided to go to bed. Just lie down for ten minutes.

I think it was probably half an hour but it was just a little lie down. A little bit of thinking back to what could have been and then thinking this isn't getting me anywhere. I'm gonna get out of bed.

That's what I did and here I am. Hmm. Short story long.

Here's what really happened. Hmm. So yeah.

So it's four, four, four recordings. The first one was this morning I think and I did a recording the first, it's not the first one I've done but it was the the second but the first official one because I've tested this before, is I think it's, what was it called? A boring object. So all I do for, I don't know, a period of time, I focused on an object and I talk about it.

That's it. It's very, very, very, very boring. Very, very.

If you think these recordings are boring, try listening to that. It will bore you, it will, it will make, it will bore the boredom out of you, if that makes sense. Very, very boring.

Not the easiest recording to make in some ways because naturally I'm a very, very interesting kind of guy as I'm sure you realize. But I had to pretend to be boring and no I didn't really, I was just myself. It was very easy, very, very easy.

Then I did a bedtime, Jason's bedtime story time. First one this year I think. I do believe, no, not, surely not the first time this year.

No, that's ridiculous. First time in a while. I can't remember the last time I did one but not, it can't be the first time this year.

That just would be absolutely, we, no, no, pos, no, can't be. I want, I need to check now because that's gonna bug me. No, I didn't think so but it has been a while.

The last one I did, number 20, was Snow White and Some Little People. That was the 30th of April this year and today's one was The Wolf and the Seven Smelly Children. That was today.

Yeah, so, blimey, I got a bit concerned for a second or so. The idea that I hadn't made a new recording for, ooh, seven plus months, ooh, no, no. So yeah, I'm quite, quite pleased I did that.

And then I did a deep sleep whisper hypnosis recording. I forget what I talked about in that one. And then I did a relaxation and stress, relaxation and sleep hypnosis daily recording.

That's it. And now I'm doing this recording. But I'm not doing them, like, back-to-back.

There's, there's space between, space between them. Sometimes I will do, like, two together, like, one after the other. Sometimes, you know, occasionally I'll have a little bit of, like, what's that thing? Oh, yeah, energy.

Energy. And I'll think, I know what I'll do. I'll make another recording.

It's okay if it's different. Although, even saying that, in the past I have made two or three deep sleep whisper hypnosis recordings, one after another, has happened. But, there's, because there's quite a lot of, a lot to do after the actual recording.

You know, the editing and then the uploading. So that takes a fair bit of time. So if I was to make another recording, at the very, the very least, what I need to do is give myself a little break between doing it.

And I also need to, while it's fresh in my mind, give the just recorded recording a title. Otherwise, I'll forget what I spoke about. See, if I did this, well, to be fair, when I do these recordings and I come to put a title down, I forget.

I don't know what, I don't know. I rarely talk about anything, really, do I? And even when I do, or get excited about a subject, I end up talking about something completely different. Like something almost unrelated.

And I think, how did I get there? I started here, or how did I get here? I started there, all the way over there. Now I'm here, and I'm like, how did I get here? This is nothing to do with what I was originally talking about. I don't know how.

Stream of consciousness, you ask? Maybe, maybe. I don't know what that says about me. It kind of points to the possibility that I'm not the most focused person in the world.

However, however, I can be quite focused. So there, it's focused, unfocused-ness. Does that make sense? Focused, unprofessionally unprofessional.

I don't know. Controlled chaos. Maybe that's what this is.

Controlled chaos. I don't know. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly. Got a message from Molly.

Are you there, Molly? Good day, mate. Molly, I just want to tell you. That's my Australian accent.

Good day, mate. Molly sent me a video of a music, a bit of music. Let me just tell you what it is.

It's on my phone. Let me have a look. Right, where is we? Okay, Molly.

I'm not gonna, I know it's a Spotify track. If I turn the volume down on my phone, and I click on it, it should not come up. But it might.

Oh dear. My Llama Unicorn. That's it, that's enough.

When I post that on YouTube, I'll probably get starred or thinged because it's got music on it. Oh dear. Blimey.

So anyway, back to Messenger. I posted back. Why? And Molly said, it's what I use for Fauna to watch while I brush her teeth.

It's been stuck in my head. Yep. It's quite catchy.

You know what it is? It's catchy, catchy, but so is herpes. So you know, catching is not necessarily a good thing. So is the coronavirus.

But I don't know. I can understand why a little kid would love that because it is very bright and upbeat. And I'll be honest, I haven't heard it a couple of times now.

I like it myself. So thanks, Molly. It's now my favourite song.

Which is scary. Vanessa asked me, do you have a Hedgehog now? We are just getting into bed and listening to you and you're talking about Hedgehogs. This was a couple of days ago and I said, no, no, I don't.

I don't remember talking about Hedgehogs. That's the thing. Was I talking about Hedgehogs? I'm not.

Obviously, I must have been because otherwise, Vanessa, you wouldn't have mentioned it. But I don't recall talking about Hedgehogs. I just genuinely don't remember a lot of what I've said.

I mean, earlier on. I went into the kitchen and I had a. Yeah, I just went to the kitchen and I had some food and I'm doing some washing up. So I've turned the oven on.

I'm doing washing up. And I'm hearing something from the living room, like a voice from the television, thankfully. And I can't for the life room, I can't remember what I'm watching.

I can't remember what I've just been watching on the television. Because what I've actually been doing is uploading a recording. So I've just made a record and I was uploading it.

So I wasn't paying much attention. The fact is, I wasn't watching anything. I was listening to George Carlin album on Spotify, on the television.

But I was like, what am I watching? But I wasn't because I couldn't remember what I was watching because I wasn't watching anything. I guess that's just the same as the other day. I'm looking at my table.

And suddenly I think, where's my iPad gone? It's on my lap. It literally on my lap. I'm using it.

I'm typing into it as I'm looking at the table. Where's my laptop gone? Where's my iPad gone? What is wrong with me? And you know what, before? See, when I was a kid, we didn't know about things like dementia wasn't just people got old. And I'm not I'm just saying the attitude at the time, this is what I'm saying.

Because I know dementia is a terrible thing. So I haven't experienced it in old people. But I did experience it in a friend who was for me wasn't old.

He was probably in his early 60s. And I just thought he was going crazy. Because I didn't I didn't, I didn't understand what dementia was back then.

I've never experienced it. I've never been around anyone that had gone through it, if that makes sense. So I didn't really understand it.

And it wasn't talked about. It was what do they used to call people? Oh, elderly people that are losing their marbles or just, it used to be almost a joke. But not by not just by people watching, but by themselves as well.

Like people used to tell jokes, or I'm losing me marbles. And it used to be kind of losing your mind and just old age used to be part, almost accepted as part of old age by society, including those getting old as well. Because no one knew what it was really it was.

It was, I just want you to know, I'm not making fun of dementia. And that's what I'm trying to say is, is sometimes I worry about my own brain. Because you can get it early onset early onset.

And I think because if I hadn't known if I didn't know about this stuff, and I'm a bit like us, I guess most people watching or listening to this are quite educated on such topics like that. Now, we never used to be as a society. Well, not in this country, maybe where you are, because you're perfect.

But we've got a lot more education, I think now a lot more educated about more things, especially when it comes to things like autism doesn't mean we know a lot about autism. But doesn't mean that everybody knows a lot about it. But most people know about it.

They know, and they've heard about it, they've a bit more, a little bit more educated about things like depression and about stress and anxiety a little bit more, even with the Olympic Games and with sports people now taking time off, because of emotional mental health issues and stuff, which never used to be mentioned in the past. It happened, I'm sure always happens always happened. People have always in sports, I'm sure Olympics people are pulled out because they just couldn't handle, not couldn't handle, but they felt what that's how it had been worded, wouldn't it? You can't handle the pressure.

And that's pretty how they would have expressed it themselves. I can't handle the pressure, I'm a failure or whatever. When in reality, they're unwell.

So this is something I need to talk about in my other podcast, I need to do a relax, a relaxation hypnosis of stress, anxiety, panic attacks, I need that's the subject I need to sort of talk about, I think, but I'm not going to do it here. I just realised I've actually got some, I've got something I want to talk about there. But this is not the platform.

I'll do it there. I'll do it there. So I'll do it there.

Yeah, there. I want to keep it light. But yeah, sometimes I do think, oh, I wonder if my brain's sliding a little bit.

It's like, oh, but I do think with age, just generally, I've, what was I saying? I know what I'm joking. I do sometimes absent mindedness. That's another thing used to be so absent minded.

I'm so absent minded. Well, actually, that could be, you know, a serious condition happening there. But in a way, I think I'd rather think of myself as that.

It's because people find out that they're unwell before they're even unwell. And that just seems, it seems a shame. So someone might be forgetful, which can be an awful, you know, it can be a terrible thing.

But they're not unwell. They're physically fine at the time. And then they get diagnosed with something serious like that.

And they're well. But they're, you know, they're, you know, they're a bit forgetful. And it's noticed because they're married and things like that are more noticeable to other people than to ourselves, I think.

So I remember with the sleep apnea, a couple of girlfriends told me that I stopped breathing when I'm asleep. Now, I wouldn't know that myself, because why don't wear a heart monitor? You know, I don't wear a thing to check my oxygen levels and stuff. And so there is, I guess there is a benefit to sleeping in bed with someone else.

And, you know, health reasons, I guess. I think all the things you can catch from them. Oh, oh, those germs.

I really I think I'm, I think I'm turning into who is that, that, that film producer, who just became completely allergic to all germs, not allergic, but he was just, he basically lived on his own in a big mansion. And he wouldn't touch anything. I do worry that I'll end up being like that.

But then I remember, I'd be like, I don't want to go out, I don't want to catch any germs. And then I'm sitting here in a flat with Andre. This is back then and he's a little poo machine, wasn't he? So it's like, well, I can't be that worried about germs.

I was I wouldn't be cuddling this little smelly thing. So yeah, I think I'll be alright. I think germs aren't that.

I think it's other people's germs, mine I don't mind so much. I'm used to my own. Yeah.

So I don't know what the point was. I had a point, but it's gone. Really genuinely, it's gone.

Oh, no, I was talking about what's her name? Molly. And the music. I used to actually I had another message.

Let me tell you about it. Oh, it's a very good message. I need to start sharing my stuff on Instagram.

So I've got I've got people following me on Instagram. And I don't share nothing. Which just seems a bit of a shame.

You know, I mean, it's great. I mean, people don't know people are finding me. I don't know how if this is something special.

Something special. Something special. Indeed.

Indeed. If this is something special, something special. I wonder, I wonder shall I do? I wonder.

So yeah, basically, I had this message. I'm just having a look. Where is it? Where is it? Oh, there it is.

This is from Mary. Was it Mary? I'll give you I've got too many people. Too many people called Mary.

Oh, yeah, my number was 44. Before you even said 22 or double it. 44 or 45.

Did you ever say your number? I didn't. See, I forgot all about it. So for those that don't know, and for those that do know, that were listening to that recording, is a couple of days ago.

I did a recording where I asked everyone to think of a number to see whether or not I could, well, I was going to implant the number in my mind through the never regions of the internet into your never regions of your mind. And I didn't tell you what my number was, did I? Well, the number I was I remember it. And so I was going to give a clue, but then I didn't.

The number I had was 1919 19. 19. So I was going to give that clue, you know, but then I thought, no, they're not.

I was gonna say, if you can remember the number, if you can think of the number, that I'm thinking of, thinking of, thinking of, thinking of. But I didn't in the end, because it would have been as rubbish as what it was just then, really, I guess. So that sort of, that sort of message.

Ken, Ken sent me a message. Hi, Ken, how you doing? He sent me a message on Facebook. Other than that, I did reply to the message Rachel said, but I didn't reply to the message she sent.

Not on. I hope that Rachel heard it on the podcast. But the problem is, oops, stupid crappy chair.

It's a crappy chair. I'll tell you. It's a crappy chair.

Aha. I don't know how noisy is when I when I move like that. Bang.

It's, it sends a vibration right up me. It's okay, I don't mind. But just saying it's, it's, I think it I wouldn't be surprised if it just falls over one day.

Not my bum. I'm talking about the chair. Oh, blimey, my bum fell over years ago.

That was weird. I just saw something on the wall. Oh, no.

I had another person like me. 63 she was. 63 on Facebook.

Now, I'm not saying anymore. I can't be bothered because I don't want to come across as being rude. Too late.

702 recordings too late, possibly. However, I think if I if I meet someone in the 60s, I think of them as like as a mother figure. I'd like like a mother age, even though in reality, I suppose because my mom would be in her 70s.

My mom would be probably I don't know 71. Maybe 72. Now, maybe 73.

But she's not, you know, I mean, sort of a date. So I don't want to date someone 10 years younger than my mom. Just not at this point in my life.

I would have done 30 years ago. I loved older women. Yeah, I'd have, I'd have happily dated someone in their 40s when I was a teenager, even when I was 18, 19.

I didn't care. I just but not 60, 60, probably not back then. So what a family you see, I want to have kids and I don't know how it worked.

What? I know how it works. Shut up. I just don't know.

Do I want a family and kids? Sometimes I do want a family and kids. So when I watch an advert and I see all these, like the mother and the father and the kids or watching TV, and they're all smiling and having fun and almost tolerating each other, you know, above that it almost like enjoying each other's company. I don't relate to that.

I just find that it's like, is that possible? Is it real? It does that happen? So I don't know. I've not seen it. I've not experienced that in any surroundings.

Have I experienced that kind of blissful Disney style and happy families? I haven't. And so I don't know if it really does exist. I kind of like to think it does.

I like to think that love exists. I like to think that the Easter bunny is pooping out fresh eggs ready for next Easter as we speak. You know, that's what I like to think about.

I don't like to think about that particularly, but just Father Christmas or Santa Claus. You know, I like to think that he's in a an amazing person. And so yeah, even if the, just in case there's some non-adults listed, I'm not going to ruin.

See, I have to leave the front door open on Christmas Eve, which isn't good around here because, you know, okay, fair enough. Santa can get into the house and leave me a big bag of toys, but there's more chance I wake up to no television and all my belongings missing because of the wonderful neighborhood I live in. So yeah, leaving your front door open ain't a wise decision.

Not around here, no, no. Unless, of course, you just leave a little message on the front door or inside, inside the house. As soon as they get in, they see it and just tell them where the crack is.

There's a nice little couple of rocks of crack. You can help yourself and leave, please. They'll be happy.

They'll take that and they'll go. They won't need to take anything because they'll have what they want. Bless them.

How dare you! How dare you insinuate the old, smelly, disgusting house thieves! Oh yeah, fair enough, okay. I just saw this boxer the other day and he was talking about his past. Boxing, you know, boxing saved my life, man.

Boxing saved my life, you know. I'd be dead or I'd be in prison if it wasn't for boxing. Yeah, yeah, you get me? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he was from Canada and he, yeah man, yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to be into like petty crime, you know, like thieving and house breaking, petty crime like that. No, you dick.

Breaking into someone's house is not petty crime. Okay, it's not murder. I can't admit it's not on that level.

It's, you know, obviously, but it's not petty. Breaking into someone's house can absolutely destroy somebody's life as it is there and then. You know, the one place we should be able to be safe I mean, someone that breaks into someone else's house.

See, in America, you can shoot the little scum. Here, we can't. Seriously, we can't harm them.

If someone breaks into your house in England, we're not allowed to do anything. I mean, the theory is you're allowed to, uh, you know, kind of stop them, kind of, but you're not allowed to hurt them. Now, only well-trained people, people in the police, security, like martial artists, MMA fighters, people like that, there's not many people outside of those kind of situations that would know how to stop somebody from leaving the premises or from doing what they want to do without physically harming them.

Now, someone with the skills can put someone on the floor. People who work in psychiatric units know how to do that. You know, they can put them on the floor, put them in a choke, put them in an arm lock, whatever like that, and not hurt them, but the average person wouldn't know how to do that.

The average person would have to rely upon other techniques, you know, more natural, naturalistic techniques, and we're not allowed to. So, someone broke in here, and you know, I gave them a little tap with my hammer. The tool was available.

I'd get arrested. That'd be it. I'd get arrested, and depending upon the, whether or not the hammer was hurt, whether the hammer got injured, I'd get arrested, I'd get in trouble.

Crazy, isn't it, really, if you think about it. That someone could break into your house, and you have no recourse to defend yourself. Unless you're a martial arts expert and can take them down onto the ground, into a choke hold, then how are you going to call the police? The only way of doing that is if you manage to do, you can work with one arm and your legs, and you can get their phone out, or you choke them out, so they go unconscious.

Now, to do that is a thin line between having them just go unconscious, and potentially breaking their windpipe, or even killing them. So, you know, it's a thin line. Choking for too long, oxygen away from the brain, you could end up brain damaged, so then you could end up going to prison for 10 years.

So it's just, I know it's heavy, isn't it, but I'm just, in America, you're lucky, you can shoot people. Someone comes in, I want a gun so I can shoot people. That's all I'm saying, that's basically what I'm talking about.

I want a gun. I want a gun, I've got a list. It's not written down, because that can be used in evidence.

It's in my head, I've got a list. Everyone's got a list, come on. That's why I think the, what's that film, The Purge? The Purge is quite unrealistic, because I don't think there'd be anyone left.

See, if they had a purge here in my town, or just in my little village that I live, there'd be, all there'd be would be like, maybe a couple of cats and a dog left. Maybe a pigeon, that'd be it. Not many pigeons, because I'd be looking for a couple.

Just people annoy each other all the time, and they just, like, just let it ride, because you can't do anything about it, because we don't have guns here. See, what it would be like, if guns were made legal, like in America, if everyone had the right to arm themselves with a gun, within the first hour of that law being instated, I reckon, not only would every hospital be full of people with gunshot wounds, the population would, well, there'd be a lot of jobs available, that's all I'm saying.

There'd be a lot of jobs available, because a lot of people, you know, just anyone driving, as soon as someone cut them off, or looked at them the wrong way, they're going to be pulled out, bang, bang.

Because it's not real, is it? To us, and to people that use guns, it's real, but to people that have never used one, like, which was probably most people in my country, apart from, there are the scabby farmers that use them.

I'm not saying all farmers are scabby, they're not, farmers are lovely, but any scabby person that would pull a firearm, a gun, a rifle, a shotgun, and point it at someone, because you're on my land, get off my land, yeah, break into their house, shoot them, because I would, if I had a gun, someone broke in, I'd shoot them, I'd invite them in, Jehovah's Witnesses, come in, come in, come in, just go in the living room, I'll be there in a minute, and I'd walk into the living room, what are you doing, what are you

doing, what are you doing, I'll shoot them, sorry, I thought you was intruders, what are you doing in my land, the land is owned by the world, you can't own land, how can you own land, ridiculous, no one can own land, not really, not really, it's the world, isn't it, the land belongs to the planet, not to humans, how esoteric, how so stupid, I got an issue with farmers with guns, two reasons, one, a friend of mine got shot by one, and this is, he deserved to get in trouble for, you know, because I think

he was stealing a tractor or something, but in this day, you know, in this country, you steal something, you know, there's a law system for that, but this bloke, he got shot, and he's kind of lost the use of half his side, completely, like, how he survived, no one knows, and I had a gun pointed at my face, when I was about five years old, by a farmer, because he's always on his land, and even at five, I wanted to get that gun and stick it up his bum, and pull the trigger, because I was

aggressive back then, not now, not cute and fluffy like I am now, ever since then, I hated guns, and I've only had a gun pulled at me once since then, that was in, where was it, not Croatia, it was in the Baltics anyway, when I was on holiday, and a couple of, well, three mafiasco sort of types, giving it a big end, and one pulled a gun out and pointed at me, not me first, but pointed at everyone, and in turn pointed it at me, and that was annoying, it was a very old gun, so

that was even scarier, because it looked almost like from a war, it probably was from a war, because these are countries that have been at war, on and off, you know, forever, I guess, they just don't know how to get on with each other, don't know how to get on with their neighbours, it's all about land, isn't it, that's my land, no it's not your land, it was my land 5,000 years ago, no it wasn't, I don't care for it, it's the promised land, where does it say it's your land, it's in the bible, it's

in the bible, it's my land, it's in the bloody bible, argue with that bitch, it's in the bible, it's my land, it's promised to me, it's not yours, it's written down, look, it's hard to argue with that, isn't it, you know, like any law in the world, any court, any, oh no, it's in the bible, oh, ah, hmm, oh dear, um, yeah, how do you argue with that, it's in the bloody bible, mate, I'm not making it up, that's my land, get off, I'm taking it back, but we've been here for 7,000 years, I don't

care, I'm taking it back, blimey, it's got to be complicated, if you have the kind of mentality that sees that length into history, that's able to, for me, I struggle with just what's happened in my lifetime, for me to incorporate what's happened in previous lifetimes, not my previous lifetimes, but in history, for me to actually feel that I'm firstly responsible for anything that's happened before I was born, I'm not, I don't take responsibility for what my dad or my grandparents or their grandparents or whatever politicians did or, you know, hundreds and thousands of years ago,

I don't take no responsibility for that, I'm not responsible and I'm not sorry because I didn't do anything, it wasn't me that did it, I didn't invade anywhere, and to be fair, my country is one of the most invaded countries there is, we've been invaded by everyone, I'm not talking about foreigners and, you know, refugees, I'm not talking invaded that way, which some people use that language, I'm talking about, did you say you're invaded by refugees, that's racist, I'm saying that's not what I'm saying, that's the point what I'm saying, I'm the, what is it,

did we have, we had Romans, we had, blood, we had everyone, didn't we, we were fair game, we were taken into slavery, yeah, what do you think the Romans did when they came over here, what, for, oh look at these equals, look at all these equals here, let's just have lunch with them, have brunch, no, they took us as slaves, made us do their bidding, blimey, what do you think they did with us, what do you think they did with the, I mean all the children that were born from that period, huh, hey, think about

it, oh, there was a lot of weird stuff going on back then, that's why I'm just, I struggle sometimes with countries that are so stuck in the past, hundreds and hundreds and thousands of years almost, yet we seem to just get on with life, even though it wasn't technically that long ago that we were, you know, had been invaded the last time, or the last time we was at war with Scotland or France, you know, or Germany when you think about it, I mean, if that was two friends, okay, Germany and England, if that was

two friends, they would never speak to each other again, would they, they might stop fighting, but they'd never speak to each other again, so I think it's amazing how people really, we just like, almost forgive and forget, the thing is, I think most people during the war didn't forgive, I think it's just, we're like two, three generations later, isn't it, so I imagine a lot of people in their teens and early 20s, like don't even think about that stuff, because unless they see it on the telly, I was brought up with war films, war film,

I didn't, you know what, I didn't mind them, I was going to say that I didn't like them, but I don't like war films generally, because I'm a pacifist, you know, a peace person, and didn't you say you should be able to shoot intruders, yeah, you know what, I'm a Buddhist, even the Buddhist teachings say that you should be able to defend your country, and if you need to use violence, you use violence to defend your own country, okay, every religion says that, no one says, no religion says if someone breaks in, someone tries to,

you know, if you look at Japan, India, Tibet, okay, Tibet's not really, they're not there anymore then, Tibet, but you know, the different places, martial arts, where did that come from, the east, where Buddhism was big, I know it's not the biggest religion anymore, but at one point in the east, it was one of the biggest religions, and a lot of the martial arts came from that, Kung Fu, female monks, for example, did Wing Chun, I think Wing Chun is an empty hand, does it mean empty, I don't know, but Wing Chun, Kung Fu, was

created for female monks, so that they could defend the temple, and defend physically against men with weapons, so, you know, martial arts isn't about violence, it's about peace, just like nuclear weapons, it's all about peace, so yeah, so you can just do one, if you think that I'm not a pacifist, because I am, I'm a peacekeeper, I am, I'm that person who ends up getting in the middle of people, to stop them from fighting, and I'm more likely to get hurt than anyone else, because from the outside, it could look like I'm actually involved, when

I'm trying to move people apart, and try to help, and no one appreciates it, nobody, ever, when I was in, I did some hypnosis training in, up north somewhere, and I'm at the rest, I'm at the hotel, and I just went for a little walk, and there was a McDonald's, so I just went around to the McDonald's, in the middle of nowhere really, but I went there, and there was this bloke, with his, he basically was grabbing a woman, pushing her against a tree, so I thought, oh romance, romance alert, but then I realized it

wasn't, and I thought, oh okay, so I went up, because she was saying, get off me, and I said, what's, what's going on, because I was prepared to remove them from each other, but just, I thought I'd just go and chat first, just like, just try and talk them in, just talk them around, you know, to maybe separate, and all the staff at McDonald's, were all like outside watching, and no one got involved, I think they did phone the police, but no one came over to see what was happening, so I just went over and

said, all right, what's going on, and he said to me, she's got my nuts, and she had him, like, both hands gripped around his, um, his little man parts, and the look on his face was not one of anger, it was one of pain, and he was grabbing her, trying to get her to stop him, trying to get her to stop grabbing him, and I think he was actually holding on to her, so he didn't fall down, because he was, he looked like he was going to faint, and so I said to her, just let

go of him, I won't let go of him, just went on and on, and I said, do you need a hand, and he said, no, I've got too many hands already, that's the problem, too many hands, um, and I realized it was just a couple of drunk people arguing, and she was getting the better of him, and I just left it, I said, well, yeah, okay, good luck, and I just left them, and I went into McDonald's, police turned up, a big, big scene, because as soon as the police turned up, they were heavy-handed, and

I think it was a case of, they, they thought, like what I thought originally, that he was the one instigating it, when it actually was her, whether he, whether she instigated it to start with, I don't know, but she definitely had the upper hand, if you don't want to, you excuse the pun, and uh, yeah, I think they probably, probably ended up, that they were both defending each other then, against the police, and uh, yeah, they all got shot, that's good, so I had a, I had a McDonald's, and this is 19, was it 2005,

that this was, blimey, 2005, pretty, pretty sure it was, probably the end, about October 2005, I was in Rochdale, I did a hypnosis weekend, it was great, I had a really good time, actually, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed most of the moments of it, in fact, and uh, yeah, that was weird, but I'm a pacifist man, I am, I really am, I just think it's a bit of, a bit of peace, that's what it's, it's possibly why I quite like the idea of going to Thailand, because it's a Buddhist country, because they bow to each

other, and I like that, I like that respect, I like the, the, it's a very safe country, generally, to live in, if you, you can make it as unsafe, or as safe as you want, if you want it to be unsafe, then start trouble, and then you'll, you'll find out, that um, they stick together, and you're going to be in trouble, so, you know, you don't, as a, as a foreigner over there, you don't pick on someone in a bar, because you will end up getting in just really bad trouble, and I like that, I

don't know, just, I like the idea that people look out for each other, because in this country, sometimes almost, I think it stems from school, there's, there's almost a fascination with watching someone being picked on, and everyone at school does it, they watch someone, and this is like a bloodlust kind of situation, and just, it's just wrong, really, and I think this still sticks with people, and instead of sticking together, and looking after each other, and I'm sure that does happen, but I tried to explain that, it would happen to some people, so, when I

was counselling, I remember this young girl said she was worried about walking down the street, when it was busy, not, not when it was quiet, or at night, but just when it was busy, and I said to her, well, if someone, if someone was to go to hurt you, what do you think would happen?

And she said, I don't know, I said, I'll tell you what would happen, is you would have infinite amount of people come to your aid, that's what would happen, you know, this is a town, which is a, it's a fairly safe place to live, you know, but even, even some of the, the less nice people, perhaps, would still come to that little girl's rescue, or that little boy's rescue, because it's, it's part of our psyche to do that, is to look out for little kids and old people, they just don't seem to care about people

when they're adults, for some reason, but looking out for elderly people, elderly men and elderly women, and small children, that sort of sense of protection, pretty much surrounds elderly and young people, it's not to say that nothing ever bad happens, obviously, but in a general situation, if an elderly person or a very young person asks for help, they'll get it, or looks in distress, someone will come to them.

Now, I don't know about London and big, like, London's the only big city really in the country, there's other cities, but compared to London, they're not big, but they just, that's why so many towns want to be cities, because there's towns that are bigger than the cities, like my town is bigger than cities, where I live, is bigger than a few cities around the country, so it's, you know, a lot of towns want to be city status, but it doesn't mean they're big, but there's something different about London, there's something very anonymous, there's something cold,

I found when I lived there, and because it's so big, not, not is, not in area wise, although it is, it does seem quite big, but the amount of people, almost, there's too many people, it seems the more people there are, the more invisible I used to feel, and the more people there were, the less chance someone would stop, which seems very weird, there definitely seems to be an attitude in London of just, don't want to get involved, don't want to get involved, and don't seem, I think that it's a bit different here, because there's

so much happening in London, that our senses, I find like, it was very, always busy, always, there's always people around, always noise, always everything, I think in like a small town, or average sized town, or a village, or a little town, it's quite boring, so if you, if you see someone that needs help, it's almost like you're grateful to have something interesting to do, not in a bad way, but like if someone, someone breaks down, and their car breaks down, or something, you can help them change their, change the wheel, or you know, whatever, it's

almost like, well that's, that's changed your day, it's changed the week, something new, but in London, all you've got to do, again, this is back when I lived there, just get on a bus, and you'll see so many weird and wonderful things on your journey, if you just travel through, through London on a bus, you'll see people in the middle of winter, standing there, in shorts, eating an ice cream, you'll see people walking around in dressing gowns, you'll see people fighting, you'll see people just walking around in traffic, there'll be huge amounts of like, police

around doing things, it's a very, very strange kind of environment, it really is, well it was, it might be different now, as I said, I don't want to get too stuck in the past and expect the past to be what it is now, because now is now, and I've not lived in London for nearly 20 years, 20, 20 years next month is when I moved away from London, 2001, and I wish I'd never left, I genuinely wish that I'd stayed there, and tried to really make a go there, what it, what I needed to do

was to find a decent paid job, but I didn't have one, I had a telesales job, which is okay, but they, they struggled to pay the wages, so I don't think they were doing that well, and, but I needed a good, good, good paid job, you know, 20, 30 grand, yeah plus to start, just so I could have my own flat, I needed kind of what I got now, back then in London, and I could have had a life, I could have continued with a comedy, and just had a decent job with money, and maybe

got a mortgage, and maybe, maybe, maybe, baby, didn't happen, so why, why worry about it, but plus I had a girlfriend if I wanted one, when I was in London, see one of the waitresses really, really liked me, and I really liked her, but I moved away, yeah, that's a good idea, and I didn't want it, she, she clearly made it clear on my last leaving day, before I moved, that she really liked me, and I didn't want it, I didn't want that, I really liked her, and I wanted more than just a little roll

around in the attic, you know, there was, there was no attic there, I don't know why I said that, you know, what I wanted was to just go out on dates, and have a romantic kind of relationship with her, because I liked her.

When will I see you again? Anyway, I'm not gonna go now, baby, I'm not gonna go, so thanks for listening, remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy. Do something nice for yourself today, that's a command, I command you, be kind to you. Lots of love, bye.