#710 Let me bore you to sleep - ATHEIST EXTREMISTS - Jason Newland (25th August 2021)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. Thank you for listening. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Hello. So I am 51 years old tomorrow.

Oh god itchy eyeball. 51 years old tomorrow. So it's the 25th of August today.

26th of August tomorrow. 51 years old. And I thought, let's just have a chat.

Let's have a little chat. Let's have a little reminisce over the last year. So don't worry, you might be worried there.

Oh my god, he's going to talk about 50 years. No, just the last year. What's happened since the 26th of August 2020.

And I can only really talk about my own life because, you know, you could say, well, what about when the elephant broke into the garden? Well, I don't know about the elephant breaking into the garden because that's your life. It didn't happen to me. Can't reminisce about other people.

So I thought, what should I say? I remember last year, it was my 50th. And the Kony Rowena Thri receiving was still, um, you know what, I'm completely, I struggle a little bit to remember what parts of the year have been locked down and what parts haven't. Because I think we had three, three full lockdowns, and some partial lockdowns and stuff.

So honestly, I lose track. But I didn't see any family. And I haven't actually seen my dad since December 2019.

New Year's Eve, actually. He came down to see me. So it's the last time I saw him.

And so I'm seeing him tomorrow, actually, actually, actually. So last year, I think I didn't really just bang the microphone didn't really do anything. I remember I bought eight cans of lager.

And I was gonna have like a toast and not have toast because I've got a toaster that's separate. Just, you know, have a few cans of lager with my friend, four for him, four for me. So I had eight cans of Stella that I bought.

And I had about half a half a can, got bored, wasn't enjoying it. And I just gave him the rest of the cans and said, See ya. And I think I went to bed.

So that's kind of that was my birthday last year. And I'm trying to think of something that actually happened last year. A whole year.

What have I actually done in that year? Wow, it really is kind of zero. It's not zero. I've made a lot of recordings.

The podcasts have gone become more popular over over the last year. I don't know. That's weird, isn't it? I'm not sure.

Let me let me Yeah. So August last year. August.

August last year. Okay, so it's hard to know what I was kind of getting stats wise. Oh my god, he's talked about the bloody stats again.

Yeah, I know. I know. Don't worry about it.

So give you an idea how things have grown. Just so you know, that's all just so you know. So my most popular podcast, the relaxation, hypnosis, stress and anxiety.

Current month 53,914. This is for the current month. Okay.

53,000. So the previous August. Just just to give an idea like how different is statistically.

I had what did I say 56 I 36,000. But that was until the 25th. So okay.

It's 25th today. 28. So yeah, it's got 56,000 at the moment, for the same time period last August 28,000.

Which is pretty much double, isn't it? 40 50? Yeah, double. That's not bad. That's not bad.

So let's have a look at what's the let me boy to sleep. This is going to be embarrassing if it's actually less but I don't care. So, so far this month 9353 downloads.

So last August. Last August. This 25th 8676 hasn't really grown that much, has it? That's awful, isn't it? Blimey, but it's still that's not very good at all.

It's really not, is it? Wow. But it's still grown. I mean, you know, it's grown.

Kind of, kind of, kind of and maybe the Deep Sleep Whisperer podcast is better. Current month 9534 9534 9534 compared to 9487. I had more last year.

Wow. This isn't really making sense. Because oh, well, you can't argue with the truth.

I mean, this is fact. So I had more in this current period than I've got now. Last year.

But I'm getting more on average a month than I was last year. Overall. What other podcasts do I have? Because I must be having something.

One of them must be doing okay. Blimey. Oh, yeah.

So there's the Relax and Sleep Hypnosis Daily. So current month 8226. So if I go back, that will have grown.

It will. I think 5766. So yeah, that's 3000 more.

So that's grown. And I would say, if I'm honest, and I'm not so that probably wouldn't count. But I reckon that's Wow, that's put I'm in a bad mood now.

Damn it. Because I really thought you know, because with the, okay, the relaxation for stress and anxiety. Okay.

I'm getting I'm literally I've got 989,390 downloads. On that podcast, it's going to be my first million downloaded podcast in about three days. Four days time.

Because I get I mean, today I've only had 2511 downloads. But yesterday I had 3500. The day before 4090.

The day before that 2400 222938404. So you know, different ones, different amounts. But I get a higher amount now than I've ever had.

But maybe because I had Yeah, to be fair, actually, to be fair, I went a whole week where I didn't make any recordings. So out of 25 days, take seven out. So that's seven days where I would have made another 5000 at least on top.

So that's 510 1520 30. Yeah, so if you spread that over, so 30 to 40,000 more downloads or the head, because all in all this month, all in all, it's just another brick in the wall. So the current month I've had 155,000 downloads so far.

So yeah, in 25 days. And it's 31 isn't 31 days in this month. So you know, it's going to be like I suppose a 200,000 month probably by the end of by the time it's finished.

As some months I get 250,000. But last month, not 151,000 last month. And June, June, I got 212,000.

May 193,000. April 106. Blimey is going to suppose it would go down if I go backwards.

177,000. March. Oh, there's nothing for March.

Do you know why? Do you know why? Do you want to know why? They redid the stats, they rechanged the statistics. And to make it up to date with some kind of guidelines, which deleted all of the overall statistics. Now each podcast I can find out what I've like a year ago, what I've done, but I can't find out the overall.

The only way I can do that is if I actually add up the stats from each and every podcast, which I can't be bothered to do, if I'm honest. So that's a little bit. I know it's gone up.

But overall, it's just I suppose it's cut 100,000 a month. It's not it's not bad, is it? It's not bad. It's not the worst.

This is right. 2,400,000 downloads a year for little old me. It's all right.

It's all right. I think I wanted it to be more. I mean, I want 100,000 a day.

I need 100,000 a day. I need a million a day. I'm just greedy.

I'm greedy. I need it to grow. If it don't grow, I'll just get bored.

So I do need it to grow. But I guess it's just an exponential thing. It is growing.

If I go back a year, I've just proved that maybe it's not grown as much as I thought. And some haven't. But then as I said, a whole week off, I didn't make one new recording.

Now I have done that in the past when I've gone a whole week. I feel I've gone more than a week, maybe a couple of weeks. In fact, I think you know, a few years back, I went nearly a whole month.

So you know, that has, that's going to have a big effect on the month's downloads, obviously. But having a week off didn't make the effect that I thought, you know, because in the past, the downloads have gone down to just under 3,000. 3,000 is kind of the threshold where it doesn't normally go below, even if I don't make any recordings at all.

But this time for the seven days, I was going above the 4,000. I've had a couple, I think one day was below 4,000, but the others were above. I even had one day, which was nearly 6,000.

And I hadn't even made a new recording. So I take from that, that the, you know, it's, I don't know, I'm trying to spin it into a positive somehow. I just don't know how to.

I'm trying. It's there, there, there, there, there. You know, there's this part of me, like, I want this to be successful.

And I'd like to be able to live a, I don't know, a nice life, you know, go to nice places and maybe go traveling and perhaps meet someone nice and, you know, build a life together for the next however long I've got left. But there's a little part of me that kind of worries that I'm still going to be sitting there in five years time in exactly the same position, still talking about, well, or it's growing and, you know, I suppose in five years time, I'll probably be, if I haven't reached the 100,000 a day within five years, then I might be looking at, you know, well, I'm 42,000 a day now and last, this is, you know, I'm getting, I don't know, 800, 900,000 a month for 44, I don't know, 40, 440, no, probably about 1.

2 million a month, maybe 1. 4 million, but I'll be like, oh, and it's much better and then I'll go back. But last year was, you know, let's have a look and, oh, I got 1. 6 million a month last year.

Brilliant. It's actually gone down. So will be, it'll be interesting to see, but I don't want to be, I'm sure no one else wants to be listening to the same conversation in five years time.

He's still talking about his bloody statistics. So you'll be listening to this for 23 years now. It's too much.

It's too much. Get yourself another pet. That was more interesting when you had a pet.

Yeah, all right. I've been taking my friend's dog for a walk. So that's been all right.

But he's, he's just, just, he loves going for walks. And he's a good dog. He is, as long as there's no other dogs around.

And he's, he's all right. But he pulls, he's very, he's a very, very strong dog, really strong. He's just muscle, a bit like me, just complete muscle.

He's like my stomach walking along, like complete muscle, as I'm sure you believe. And, you know, it's weird, though, because when he's up here, because sometimes he stays up here for a few hours, and he lays on the floor. And he farts, they're quiet farts.

But they are awful, like really, really bad. And I look down and he's always got his bum hole aimed at me. Always.

He never ever like has aimed at the door. Or ideally at the window, ideally out of the window would be nice if you sort of lean towards the window. It's always aimed at me.

It's like you could literally, if there was a laser, I'll keep banging the microphone, I'll move it a little bit away. If you moved, so I've got grown a little bit of a beard. So the beard is, you know, probably an inch or something, maybe more out of my chin, my chin is banging the microphone.

If you had a laser out of his bum, if you put a laser inside his bum, it would it would show a direct line to my nostrils. Honestly, it's ridiculous. It's just really I'm not I have not tried that, by the way, because that would be probably illegal.

Where would I get a laser from? I mean, if I was able to, you know, afford a laser, the last thing I'd think about doing was putting it inside a dog's bum. I'd probably, you know, want to use it for if it was a really powerful laser light or something, you know, trying to bring down a plane or something. Is that pilots eyes, eyes, let me shine in there.

Yum, yum. No, that used to be an actual thing that people did. Trying to shine, shine really bright lasers into pilots vision in order to get them to crash the plane.

I mean, that's that's weird, weird thinking, isn't it? I mean, that's beyond weird thinking. That's it's an act of terrorism, really, isn't it? Let's face it. But it was I think many kids doing it.

So a 10 year old gets hold of a laser and sees a plane and thinks, oh, yeah, this will be funny. Without really probably thinking it through. So without really any malice or even the slightest mental capacity to understand or comprehend the catastrophe of what he's actually doing or the results of what he's trying to do.

Just thinks it's funny. Yeah, I want to make that crash. Yeah, I'm shining the light now.

It's like, oh, wow. Some people say, but it's just a little kid. It's not his fault.

He didn't know what he was doing. Well, probably best to get rid of him anyway. Hey, this is.

Listen, you know, it might just be a one off. It might just be, you know, a childish prank that went wrong. But let's not chance it.

Hey, that's what you can do at nine. What's he going to do when he's 29? Let's just let it go. Let's just say this wave bye bye to him.

Bye bye. Bye bye. There you go.

See ya. There's a volcano. That's it.

Just push him in. Good, good, good. I like volcanoes.

Not enough to jump, you know. I find it weird isn't a volcano like a big open wound, isn't it? It's almost like an opening to the planet and opening to the earth. But you can't enter.

Because it's rather hot. Wow. Never been.

I understood people that live near volcanoes. It's very short, short sighted people, isn't it? Very, very short term thinking to actually build a village or build a house on a volcano or just near a volcano. When you know that, like I guess all volcanoes at some point, they have either erupted or they're going to erupt.

Hence the reason they're called volcanoes. Otherwise, it just be a crevice, wouldn't it? It just be an empty hole. Why would you want to live on a volcano? But then why would you live in a desert? Wouldn't you try and get out? Just accept it.

No, we live in a desert. Let's have lots of kids. Yeah, no, get out.

Move. Get out of that. I mean, why would anyone want to live in a desert? I'm not really a big fan of sand.

I like sand if it's near the sea. But outside of that, I don't think I'd really enjoy sand very much. That's the whole point.

It comes with the sea. But if you take the sea away, it's a desert. And it's not really of any use, is it? It's almost a pointless space.

I mean, you might as well just live in a car park, but like a never ending car park without anything else. Just concrete. That's all there is.

Blimey, that'd be even hotter, wouldn't it? Than the sand. Concrete gets proper hot, doesn't it? In the sun. Wow.

That's the thing. I think that it's so easy to get all caught up in the Oh, things are so bad for me. Oh, the world's out to get me.

Everyone's got it better than me. Poor me, poor me. But in reality, I imagine nearly everybody who's listening to this recording is not living in a desert.

They've not been born in a mud hut. They've not been born somewhere that's really, really, really horrible. I mean, some people would have been born and they got out of that.

And some people I guess may still be in that. So if you are, I hope you hope you get out. I hope you find a way to escape that situation.

And I wish you every luck. Seriously. I was born into a kind of horrible situation.

Or, but not environmentally. Kind of. And I start actually, realistically, I was very lucky.

I was born in England. I was born in a place where there's, there's no famine. There's plenty of water.

Plenty of food. Even poor people are looked after if they accept the help and they're willing to actually do something for themselves. If they are not willing to help themselves, then a lot of people, there's people that aren't willing to help themselves or are unable to help themselves, sometimes don't get the help they need.

And sometimes I think, I don't really, really understand this until the last few years, but some people that are not willing to help themselves is because they're unable to. They just can't do it. Where emotionally, mentally, they just can't, just can't do it, you know.

So it is, it's not that they can't physically do it. They just can't motivate themselves to seek the help they need. And our system in this country isn't really, unless it's a physical condition that stops someone, the system doesn't really cater for people that are mentally unable to help themselves or to ask for help.

But then you could say, well, how's anyone supposed to know they need help if they don't ask? Which is a very valid question, to be fair. It's one of those weird scenarios, isn't it? This is a little bit heavy, Jason. I thought you were going to talk about your 50 years of being alive.

Oh, wait a minute. No, you were going to talk about the last year. Why are you talking about people that need help and all that stuff? What's that got to do with anything? I mean, you start talking about volcanoes out of the blue.

How did you even get onto the subject of volcanoes? I'm not sure. I don't really know. I lost my way a little bit.

I lost my way years ago, but I lost my thing. I don't know what happened. I don't know.

In fact, let me read you out some messages I've had. No, we don't want to hear your messages. Well, I want to read them, so it's up to you.

I'm reading them anyway. So there. I had some comments.

Ashley Roberts. I don't know what the hell that is. Welcome trending top this year.

What the hell is that about? And it's all in Chinese. Welcome trending top this year. What is it? Oh, dirty Tinder.

Okay, that's what the link was for. So that can be gone and removed. Hide user from the channel.

Hide user for the channel. Good. Bye bye.

Do you know what? I don't know which messages are real and which messages are not anymore. I'll be honest with you. This is YouTube.

I had these messages that were just and that's where I get I got in trouble. Well, I didn't get in trouble because I lost a fan. And because she mentioned this is last month.

So I asked for help. Okay, this this month for to get my podcast to pay for a podcast. I just got distracted then.

Thought I heard the mouse. I've tapered up everything like duct tape in the kitchen, all around the pipes, any kind of gap to prevent the little thingy from getting in. But then some of the things I hear from the attic there sometimes from the flat down below.

You know, I've got the window open so it could be something outside. Sometimes it's just my bones aching and clicking and cracking. No, I mean, I've completely forgotten what I was talking about.

So the last year what's happened? Oh, God, jealous. I just remembered the most obvious thing that is. Isn't it weird that went out my head? The most obvious thing.

Apart from that. Well, I lost Andre. That was the, I guess, I nearly said the highlight of the year.

Stupid. That was the biggest thing. That was the everything else is kind of sunk into insignificant significance.

But not much has happened because I've not been out. I've not gone anywhere. We've been in lockdown a lot of the year.

We were. It was still like masks on the buses and I suppose I've had both my jabs. So that was two things I had.

The first jab, I was a little bit ill for a day. Then after that, I was fine. The second jab, I wasn't ill, but I had a sore arm for a few days.

Which is weird because I had the first jab in my left arm, which threw them right off. Most people have it in their right arm. Well, I want it in my left arm.

No, I had it in my right arm. And the second jab, I had my left arm, that's it. And he said, why? I said, because if I get a pain in my left arm, I'd rather not because then I won't know what it is.

You know, I don't want a pain in my left arm because that might send me into a sort of panicky mode in case it's something serious. But a pain in my right arm ain't gonna make any difference to me. I'm not gonna be bothered.

Well, then they told me, well, you can also get a pain in your right arm for this, you know, if you're ill. It's like, oh, brilliant. That's helpful.

Cheers, mate. And so I had my first injection in my right arm. And I guess, I suppose the muscles, I mean, the muscles in my right shoulder, I think are bigger than the muscles in my left shoulder.

So I suppose maybe it just, there wasn't, yeah, it's weird. It's not really weird and it's kind of obvious. But I always have been more right armed, my right, yeah, the right shoulder has always been bigger than the left shoulder.

The left shoulders, well, neither of the shoulders are particularly big, but it's just feeling them now. Yeah, the right's a lot more, my right shoulder's bustier than my left one. So, but then I had the left one done, the second, the second one, and it did ache.

So that was a bit uncomfortable for a few days, but because I sleep on my side, you see, I don't sleep on my back. I sleep on my side and I move from side to side. I'm a bit like a dog, you know, a dog just turns around like two or three times and then lays down.

I'm like that, but I go from side to side until I'm comfortable. And so I had that done. What else? Went to Cornwall for, we went on, um, did we? Yeah, I think we traveled up on a Saturday and came back on Saturday.

Or did we travel on a Friday and come back on a Saturday? One of them. So we'd gone a week. And that was an adventure.

That was emotional. It was at good points and it's bad points and um, ended up getting a cold while I was out there and had a cold on the way back. And yeah, it was a bit unwell for about a week or so.

The first cold I'd had in probably two, over two, maybe three years, which is a little bit of a shock to the system. And I, I had a cough earlier in the year. So I had a COVID test that came in negative.

What other things did I do? Um, I'm trying to think. It's about August. Okay.

So September, what happened in September? Anything? Uh, no, I can't think of anything that happened. October. This is why I should keep a diary.

I mean, technically you could say this is like a verbal diary, but I don't remember anything that I've talked about. Even so far, 37 minutes in, I don't know what I've talked about. Because just none of it's interesting.

So I don't, I've not remembered any of it. Um, and it's not supposed to be interesting, is it? It's supposed to be just mundane and tedious and pointless. You know, it's kind of the idea, but I can't remember September, October.

Um, so we had, I mean, I don't even remember this year really much in the way of Halloween. No, I didn't go out. So I didn't see any Halloween stuff.

I went to the park. Well, I went through the park probably, but I didn't see, I don't think I saw anyone trick or treating. I might have done, I just don't remember.

Now, those listening in America, I know that in America, it's a huge thing. Uh, uh, uh, uh, Halloween, I keep saying Valentine's, Halloween is a big, big deal in maybe, I don't know if the whole of America, but parts of, you know, this is what I've seen on TV. So I'm just, I'm going to believe it because every, I've seen it too often for it.

And also I've, I've spoken to American people and have also said it's true. So Halloween's a big deal in America. Here, it's not taken quite as seriously.

It's not so big. It's, it's done. I mean, we've been doing it a lot longer off, you know, probably than, I don't know what country it originated from, but it's been happening here for a long time.

It's probably been happening in America for a long time. I don't know, but America is a very young country, isn't it? So I don't know. We've got, we've got ditches in this country that are older than America.

Really, it's, you know, it's weird. This is an old country, very, very old. I mean, technically America's just as old as any other country land-wise, isn't it? But as far as it being called America and all that stuff that happened there.

But Halloween's really big there. Here, it's, it's really just for the kids. It really is.

It's adults. I mean, some adults like have parties and stuff, but it's generally like a kiddie thing. The kids go around trick-or-treat, and I've lived around, I've moved around a little bit over the years, and I've never really seen it be huge, really, anywhere I've lived.

Now, it doesn't mean it isn't huge in places. There may be parts of the country where, like, everything stops, and Halloween is this big, amazing event. But nowhere that I've lived has it been like that.

You know, there's usually kids dressed up and stuff, but I've never really seen it to be a big, full-on, everybody's-in-the-street, dressed up, knock on everyone's doors, and every, all houses are decorated, and all that stuff. And people are decorated, spending, like, a week getting ready, and it's not really like that here. It's much more of a, um, I don't know, what is it? It's a fart in a hair, a fart in a hurricane, kind of.

It just, it just happens, and it's done. Let's move on. And Bonfire Night, or Guy Fawkes, of course, that wouldn't be celebrated in any other country, because it was a specifically English thing.

Guy Fawkes trying to blow up the Houses of Parliament. So, we celebrate that. Obviously, they, unfortunately, well, fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on which way you look at it, they, he didn't succeed, but he became a hero.

I never understood why we celebrate it. Like a botched, terrorist act, we celebrate. That seems weird, I don't know.

It seems a bit strange, because there's been lots of, um, botched terrorist attacks. In fact, according to the police and stuff, so many that the public wouldn't even believe it. You know, so many things that they've stopped happening, that would have happened if they hadn't had the intelligence or whatever.

So, what if we started celebrating all of those? There'd be no room to do anything else, would there? So, I think Bonfire Night, Halloween, not Halloween, um, Guy Fawkes is a bit of a weird one, because, when you think about it, it's a little bit of a strange thing to celebrate. Celebrate someone getting caught trying to do something, trying to be like a terrorist. Yeah, mind you, if they succeeded, maybe America would have celebrated it, because they supported a lot of terrorism, haven't they, over the years? Giving money to the IRA and stuff, to support them, so they could bomb England.

Yeah. Not making it up. Check it out.

It's true. It's true. American government gave money.

Yep. Apparently. That's what I heard.

Might not be true, but it is. That's why I was so surprised, you know. I thought you liked terrorists.

I thought you liked stuff like that. Why? Oh, you don't like it when it's on your own soil. Oh, that's weird.

Very insular. Very, there was this American colonel on the news the other day, and he was saying, oh, there's been no, no, we, since we've gone into Afghanistan in 2002, or, yeah, end of 2002, whatever, beginning of 2003, whatever it was, um, we've stopped any more terrorist attacks. So, no, nothing since 9-11.

By the way, if you, in England, we call it 11-9, because that's the way our numeric system works. So, today, it's 25th of August. You would call it 8-25, wouldn't you, in America? We say 25-8.

So, if you write down your date in America, it's 8-25-2021. In England, this is true. This is absolutely true.

In England, it's 25-8-2021. So, 9-11 is actually 11-9 here. And that was weird, because obviously, everyone calls it such a horrible thing.

They call it like that thing, 9-11. Break it down to three numbers, which is the emergency number for America as well, isn't it? 9-1-1. And then, we have our own, in England, we had our own terrorist event.

And I often wondered if anything like that happened here, which was kind of, it was if, it was when, not if. It was so obvious that something was going to happen at some point. And in 2005, we had ours.

And, you know, it, for us, it was, it was absolutely huge. It wasn't on the scale of planes flying into buildings and stuff, but we had trains and buses and all kinds of stuff blown up, all kind of at the same time. And it was on the 7th of June.

No, 7th of August. No, 7th of July, sorry. So, they call it 7-7.

So, we were quite lucky, because then, not lucky, but you could call it 7-7. There was no, no like, is it 7, if it was 7-8, is it 8-7, 7-8? If it was in America, what would you call it? But then, America don't care about what happens here. So, they probably, I imagine most people in America don't even know it happened.

Don't even know about that, even though it's huge here. And this American colonel was saying, yeah, no, we stopped any future terrorist attacks. Okay.

Well, unless, well, first of all, unless America is the only country in the world, unless America is the world, which I think some people do believe that about their own country, like that's the world, there's nothing else outside of this. But this colonel, you'd think he'd know a little bit better, because they do get to travel, you know, you get to realize that there are other places. You know, firstly, there were other terrorist attacks.

What about the bombing, the Boston Marathon? That was huge. So, the idea there's been no other terrorist attacks in America is absolutely rubbish, because there have been. Secondly, there's been terrorist attacks all over the world, for years.

Europe, I mean, France, Germany, Switzerland, England. It's just, it was at one point, I think 2015. No, yeah, 2015 in November.

It was kicking off big time. There was like three terrorist attacks in one week, I think, in France and Germany. And I was like, what? So the idea, oh, it stopped, no.

If anything, we had more because of it. You're dumb, dumb. So, luckily, we haven't had too much of that as late, but I guess that will start again now.

That will start. Crazy. See, a lot of people, like young, young people, they've sort of, when these attacks, four or five, over the last like 10 years, let's say, was a shock.

Because I'd never seen anything like that before. I'd never experienced anything like that. But I grew up in the 70s.

And the 70s and the 80s and the 90s, we had bombs going off on trains, buses, shopping centers, parks, loads of bombs went off during that period. And it was almost, I don't know, just, it's weird what you get used to, isn't it? Weird what you get used to, because I didn't know any different. And then when these attacks, knew, I mean, there was a, there was a, the only non, like terrorist, terrorist attack that I knew of, was there was a nail bomber in the late 90s.

And he, his, his act of terror was against minority groups. He was basically a bigot, racist, homophobic. He left bombs in a gay bar.

He attacked Indian people, and also black people, I think in Brixton, that he set a bomb off or something like that. So he was called the nail bomber, and he did get caught. But I think he set off at least three bombs, I think, killing, you know, quite a few people, wounding them.

But that was the only, probably non-political terrorist that I've ever known, to kind of, during my lifetime. There probably have been others. But he's the one, he's a proper sicko, because he actually lived where I was living.

He lived, I probably ended up, I probably worked with him at some point. Because he was kind of like me, he was sort of same kind of age, same kind of background, in a sense, you know, working for little money, living in a room, a bit, the word is disenfranchised now, isn't it? But probably just a bit disheartened with life. But at the same time had these uh, pathetic, uh, views, and hateful views.

So he ended up doing that. And yeah, the sicko's in prison, and he's never going to get out. So that's, but it's just, but yeah, I don't know, it's just weird.

That was a weird time, because I was working. And we were, because I was, yeah, I was in a nightclub. And we really didn't know, we were actually checking people's handbags, as I was coming in, checking people's bags.

Because we didn't know, we didn't know who was going to be walking through those doors. And if they were going to walk out and leave a bag and blow up the place. Honestly, it was that serious.

And luckily, the person did get caught. So that was good. But it was something different, because back in the IRA's days, they would generally leave a message, they'd leave a warning.

You know, you got five minutes or 10 minutes, and this is the destination. And they didn't always do that, because otherwise, there'd have been less deaths, I guess. But the terrorists of today, or, you know, recent years, don't, don't really have that.

And it concerns me that we might be going back backwards with that stuff. And I'll be honest with you, the mood, kind of, it's a very, I'm gauging the mood of the country, and the mood, the mood of the country. And I'm thinking, if that stuff started happening again, it's not going to be good for the residents of this country.

Because I think some people will probably aim their anger at the wrong person, if that makes sense. They'll, yeah, I don't think people are going to put up with it anymore. Not that they're put up with it, but there's a breaking point for everyone isn't there? And we're not.

I don't think, I don't think we can take that anymore. I don't think any country can now. I think, I think probably more so now, after the COVID, after the extreme pressure that's been on people over the last couple of years, it wouldn't take a lot, I don't think, for society to kind of go a bit weird.

It's already gone weird. There's a lot of angry people out there. And rightly so, to be fair, it's natural.

Because a lot of people have had it really, really difficult. So I think whoever, I do wonder whether the terrorists out there are just like rubbing their hands with absolute joy at the, like, I wish we'd invented this coronavirus. Look how many people we could have got rid of.

You know, maybe that's the, they're just all there just having wet dreams all the time. So happy. Don't need to do anything.

Which is kind of factual, you don't need to do anything. If you play the long game, you'll always win. The long game always wins.

You may not be alive to see the end game, might not be alive to see the win. But the win, you know, you'll, look at Taliban, they play the long game. It's not even a long game to them.

Because they're based in the past. They're still in the past. Their brains, their brains, their mindset is stuck in the past.

We're probably hundreds of years ahead of them. In just not just technology, but mentally, emotionally, we're just hundreds, if not thousands of years, probably hundreds of years, maybe not thousands. But they're stuck in the past.

And not all of us, but you know, as a nations around the world, a lot of us have moved forward. And they want to stay how things used to be. So someone said to me the other day, the reason for the burqas is to cover women up, but not for them.

It's for the men. Because there is a rule, I don't know if, I mean, you know, an old law, but I guess it still stands if you decide to live by that law, is if a man looks at a woman, like another man's wife, he looks at her flesh, he gets his, he gets his eyes burnt out. Now, if I thought there's a chance that I would accidentally look at someone's wife, and that was going to happen, I think I'd probably agree to have all women covered up.

I probably want that to happen. If it meant I kept my eyes. So I can, in a weird way, understand where they're coming from.

If there is actually that law, if they really want to live by that kind of law, but then I don't think that has been the case for a long time. I don't know if they, if that is something that they live by. So it's like outdated.

Whoa, weird. Imagine that as a law. Oh, weird law.

If you look at someone's angles, I'm implying, it's like, I look at, it's, it's hard to understand. I struggle with it. I do.

I struggle with trying to figure out where, do they have brains? I mean, how? But then I think, you know what, you could, any baby, you bring a baby up, to believe that their mother was a tin can. And providing there's nothing to contradict that, that person can be 45 and still believe that that tin can, maybe that empty can of coke, was in fact, or is in fact, their mother. Because they've got nothing, they've got no way of knowing any different.

And then you can set them out in the world, and nothing that anybody says is going to be able to convince them that that tin can is not their mother. They will take that belief, possibly, for the rest of their life. It's going to be very difficult to change their mindset, and to, to make them realize the truth.

Do their mother is in fact, a peach? Or a cardboard box? I don't know. So I think anyone can be taught, from a baby, or a young child, all kinds of rubbish. Or all kinds of really good stuff, depends on how you want to do it.

Isn't that amazing, isn't it? I sometimes think that adults should not be allowed near children, until they're adults. Only apart from specially trained adults, who are there to teach them correctly. But nothing, no religion, no belief systems, just how to be decent human beings, how to be considerate, how to be caring, you know, to encourage being nice, you know, just that normal stuff.

Not because of fear of going to hell. Not to please some invisible thing. But just because it's a nice thing to do.

Treat someone as you'd like to be treated. Basically, you know, it's, that's the thing about religion. So much of it is brilliant.

You know, someone like, you know, treat someone else like they'd like to be treated. Before you condemn someone, maybe look at yourself first, you know, before you, you know, look at your own problems, look at your own issues before, you know, ripping into someone else. There's so many different things that can come from religion, which is amazing.

But it's got nothing to do with religion. It's just a really useful thing. Treat someone how you'd like to be treated.

Nothing to do with religion. It is in a sense of, you know, it's in a religious text, perhaps. But ultimately, it's just, it's the most human thing.

It's like, it's the most logical thing. One of the most useful things to hear as a small child. And then it can be conveyed in about 5 million different ways.

Would you like someone to do that to you? You know, sort of, no. I always used to say yeah. I'd chuck something on the floor.

The teacher would say, would you do that at home, Newland? I'd say yeah, I would. I never knew what to say to that. Oh, sometimes I'd poo on the floor as well.

Would you do that at home? No. That's why I did it here. To get in trouble at home.

Maybe as I get older, I'm a little bit concerned about what's going to happen. I like to pretend that I really don't care. But I do a little bit.

I don't really care about the future generations because I'm not a parent. I'm not a grandparent. I've got no, I've got nothing invested.

I've got no emotion, no emotional investment. You know, if I had a small child or a grandchild, I'm at the age where I could have grandchildren. And I'd be like wanting them to be happy and to have a future.

And so their children and their grandchildren could be safe and have a, you know. But I don't care because I don't have that. So I kind of, not that bothered what happens in a hundred years because I won't be here.

It just doesn't seem in the slightest bit interesting to me. All the world will be ending in a hundred years. To me that's just like saying, oh we've got an asteroid and it's heading towards this planet and it's going to reach us in 10,000 years.

Good. I don't care. Who cares what happens in 10,000 years? And I feel the same about what, who cares what happens in 90 years? Unless I'm going to live to be 141.

In that case, yeah, I do care. I'm going to be interested. But, you know, that's only going to happen if the scientific advancement really increases over the next 10 years to the point where organs can be replaced electronically.

So that we no longer need kidneys or livers or hearts or anything like that. We can be almost be half cyborg. So we can still have our brains, still have the memories still, but we'd have almost like a robotic kind of body.

See, I'll be up for that. That'd be cool. And then you get to live for thousands of years.

Then I'd be concerned, I'd start, I'd start working on ways of dealing with the asteroid because it's, you know, I've only got 6,000 years till it gets here. All right. All right.

I'm trying to watch a box set. I'll be back in a minute. I'm watching Breaking Bad again.

The remake. Blimey. That's when I do feel old when there's a remake of a program that I'm thinking, but only just made it.

And he just did it a little while ago. And now they're remaking it. What the hell? So if I've talked a bit, got a bit heavy in this recording, but I think it's just not stop watching the news, I think.

Because it's just the same subjects all the time, all the time. The same subjects. And I think that's weird.

It's why I quite like it when the weather's extreme. I think it's part of the reason I really thought about it. But it's because it's something different to look at on a telly.

The news is something different. So if there's an avalanche or there's a... I don't want anyone to get hurt. I just, I quite like extreme weather.

It's a weird thing. I don't know why. But you know, I want everyone to be safe.

I love it when we get really, really strong winds. You know, really torrential rain. As long as I haven't got to go out in it.

Thunder. I love a thunderstorm. Absolutely love a thunderstorm.

But again, as long as everyone's safe. I know that's not realistic, but I still love extreme weather. Because I love the idea that the planet is letting us silly humans see who's boss.

The planet is boss. The weather is boss. We are not.

We're no more significant to this planet than ants. But we think we are. Ironically, the ants will still be here when humans are long gone.

Isn't that funny? You're funny. You're funny. So yeah, I'd like to, I'd like to live thousands.

The one thing I'd like to live thousands of years for is to learn. Because then I could say, you know what? I'm going to take a year. I'm going to take the next 10 years.

If you live in thousands of years, 10 years is nothing. So I'm going to get a doctorate in philosophy. And then after 10 years, I might say, I want to learn to become a plumber.

I want to learn how to plumb. How to plumb. I want to learn how to plumb.

And then maybe another like later on, I want to learn to speak Chinese. As most of the world now speaks Chinese. You know, by then possibly might be true.

I don't know, just to be able to just say, well, I want to learn a subject, really learn it. I want to become really good at something. I've never become really good at anything.

I'd like to one day really be good at something. I don't know what, but something that I was really like, yeah, I excel at this. This is something that I really, really am knowledgeable about.

Knowledgeable. Knowledgeable. Yeah, that's the right word, isn't it? I am knowledgeable.

Knowledgeable. Knowledgeable. Knowledgeable.

Knowledgeable. I'd be, that'd be good. I like the idea of having a doctorate to be Dr. Jason.

Hello, Dr. Jason. Just to be, and I know that time may be running out a little bit for such things. Just as far as I tried to do a doctorate, to do the master's.

I've applied for three different master's courses and got rejected by all three. Because my grades weren't good enough in my degree, my undergraduate degree. So to do a master's, I've just not been allowed.

Even though the last one, I got financed 10 grand, student loan gave it, but didn't give me the money. They said, yep, it's fine. You got, we're going to give you 10 grand to cover the cost of this master's course.

And then we're going to, they just send the money directly to the university. And it's positive psychology. Almost like perfect for me.

You know, it's like, well, I've studied the subject before. I even, I guess, talk about it in some ways, maybe not this recording, but in some recordings, certain aspects of it. And it's something that I will benefit myself by studying.

All they looked at was the grade. What they looked at was my grade for my university course degree, even though I passed, but it wasn't a great grade. And I don't know what to do about that.

It's such a shame. I might actually send a letter. It's too late now because university courses are already starting.

But I might next year, just send a letter to all the local universities I want to go to, explaining my situation, explaining why I didn't get a good grade, because I was unwell, did not know I had bipolar. But I had, you know, I had a really difficult time during those three years. And I actually got an award for accomplishment.

A certificate they handed to me when I collected my degree. And I got a 50 pound, a 50 pound gift or whatever, gift certificate. So, you know, I got a certificate of achievement because I continued and I wouldn't quit.

And I kept going, regardless of how difficult things were for me. I'm not saying this just to tell everyone what a hero I am, because everyone knows that anyway. We all know by now I'm a hero in my own brain.

So I might sort of write a letter and say, you know what, just and include the letter, include the certificate, photocopy or something. Just send it to them and say, look, I really want to pursue higher education. Hopefully to doctorate level, but I need a master's to get to that.

And I'm able to get the financing from the student finance because I have done before for my last one I applied for. So that's not a problem. Can you please just, you know, consider me on what? I don't know.

Consider the situation. The reality was, and the only reason I got a lower grade is because for the last year, I didn't hand one piece of coursework in on time. Everything was late, which meant it was capped at the lowest mark, the lowest pass mark, which was.

Blimey, what was it, 40% or something? Or was it 30? I don't know. But it was the lowest pass mark. Yet in reality, I was getting much higher grades.

So they would give me it back to me and say, they should have been 67%. But it's capped at 30. Or whatever the 40, whatever the cap mark was, I think might have been 40.

So I said it would have been 67, but it's capped at 40. So those announced included dissertation and maybe four or five other pieces of work during the last year, and a few, probably two or three in the second year as well. So my overall mark, when I left the second year, I was able to get a 2.2. That was the highest I think I could have got.

Because he called me into the office and said, if you hand in everything in the last year, and you get decent grades, you can get a 2.2. But you're not going to get a first. It's not, it's not, it's just impossible. Because you didn't hand your stuff in on time.

But even if I had, I wouldn't have got a first. You know, I'm happy to be honest, you know, I wouldn't have done. I didn't, my grades were not good enough to get a first.

But I could have got a second. You know, so I was getting 67, 70% on my things. To get a first, I would have been having to be getting like 90, I suppose, percent pass mark.

Like 90 on the score of each one. But I wasn't. But in reality, I ended up getting probably, I'd say nearly half of my coursework was capped at 40% throughout the three years, maybe less than half.

Because I did, I did better in the first year. So ultimately, it was my own doing really. But I would have, I wouldn't have got a first based on my academic accomplishments.

If I had handed them in, I would have ended up with a second, which would have allowed me to apply for masters and get on the courses without any much, much problem. But then when I got to the end of the second year, a 2.2 was the best I was going to get. And then I ended up with a third because I didn't hand in any of the coursework on the third year on time.

Even with extensions, I was still late. But they can't, they can't, they can't mark them lower than 40%. That's how, that's what the rules were then anyway.

In some, I think some parts of my coursework, I was getting 70 and 80, 80 marks. Not only on a few. They didn't do really bad on the coursework.

It's just they were capped at the small, at the lower thing. And I realized one thing is I could have got, I think if I'd have really put the effort in, I could have got a first. And handed it on time.

If I, but I didn't have the belief, I didn't really believe I could do it. And then nearing the end of the course, I realized that actually doing essays isn't that hard. After doing a few, doing it for a few years, I realized that actually the hardest part was getting started.

That's the bit I couldn't seem to overcome. I'd leave it to the last minute. Now if I'd have just started when we issued the essay.

And had a month to do it. If not longer, sometimes we issued them at the beginning of the course saying, you'll be doing this in June. You'll be doing this in May.

You're doing this in March. This is the coursework and I could have started on them then. But I didn't.

So there you go. I don't talk a lot. But yeah, I think, yeah.

Yeah. Again, I don't know. I was already talking about anything.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, I feel a bit annoyed about being 51.

I think it's annoyed me a little bit. Isn't it weird? Just find it a bit annoying. I want to be 29 again.

I remember at 29, things were really good. And I remember thinking, oh, I'm getting old. I'm gonna be 30 soon.

And thinking, oh, I'll be a smelly 30-year-old. Smelly old 30-year-old. And now look at me.

I'm a smelly 51-year-old. Nearly. Blimey.

Anyway, I'm gonna go. Take care of yourselves. Yes.

Remember, wherever you are in the world, do something nice for yourself, okay? Be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love. Bye, bye.

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.