#691 Let me bore you to sleep - WOOPS - SORRY ABOUT THAT - Jason Newland (18th July 2021)

Hello there. How are you? How are you? How are you doing? Are you all right? Family good? Good? Children happy? Yeah? Good? Yeah? Doing well? Good? Oh, that's lovely. Oh, brilliant.

Yeah, great. Thanks. Hmm.

Well, welcome to this. Let me bore you to sleep podcast. And please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

You know, no snorkeling or, you know, swimming with the sharks when you listen to this because if you fall asleep, you might end up getting a, you know, end up in the shark's tummy. So my name is Jason. And really, what this podcast is about is it's like family, like a little family thing, where I just talk, and hopefully, you know, you'll fall asleep.

And what I do really is I kind of talk about my life, and such and such, therefore, etc, etc. And you get bored and then you fall asleep. So I hope that's a good description for you.

Yeah. Hmm. Stop that now.

I can't. Welcome. Yeah.

Hmm. So hello, everybody. Hello.

Hello. Hello. How are you? How are you? Hey, you? You? Well, you will.

Oh, that's nice. So let's see. Happy birthday to Georgie.

Happy birthday, Georgie. 19 today. Lovely age.

19. Happy 19th birthday, Georgie. And I had a few messages.

I got a message. And I wanted to say a big thank you to two people. Oh, come on, come on.

That's it. Mary. And to say thank you, Mary, sent me a PayPal gift.

Hi, Jason. I hope this helps a wee bit. Mary.

I pronounced your name correctly, haven't I? Now you see why I get a little bit confused because the next person to say thank you to is Mary. See, it's confusing. It's from Mary.

This is another PayPal gift. Thank you for all that you do for us. I wish I had more to give you.

It seems you always hit the nail on the head. So to say so to for what's going on with me. Take care.

Thank you, Mary. So thank you, Mary and Mary, for your PayPal gifts came at just the right time, actually, because I'll run out I'll run out of cash. I know my my I just rubbish with money, basically, I think.

So yeah, it's getting me through to Wednesday, which is what all I need to do. So it's only two more days left. So thank you very much for both of you.

I have I have actually sent you both messages via the email service. And I thought I'd say thank you publicly, publicly. So I don't know if I've got any other messages.

I might have let me just check. There's always a possibility that I have. Sometimes someone's left a message on my website.

Pizza. Okay, great. Although I do like a little bit of pizza.

As I see you have someone's telling me that they can get me at the top of Google with my website. Let's see where I am Google with my name. Let's put in Google, Google, Jason Newland.

Yep, I'm at the top of Google with my name. I am at the top with my website. But to be fair, Jason and hypnosis.

Now it's a cast is at the top. So podcast, one of the podcasts. Really, I want to be at the top when people put in boring hypnosis.

No, no, I'm nowhere near. Oh, blimey, that's not true. I just put that in just for a laugh.

Okay, there's some adverts. There's one website, another website, it's the same website twice, three, fourth down. Let me bore you to sleep.

Jason Newland on Apple podcasts. Wow, 4.4 rating. Blimey.

And a couple of more down. There's podimo.com, which is me number 120 229. Relaxation hypnosis for stress, listening to my boring voice.

What about hypnosis for anxiety? hypnosis for anxiety. See, I don't check into this anymore. I don't even I should really shouldn't I show a bit more interest in what's going on.

No, I'm not on here. I'm not on here. No, no, nope.

Not on the first page. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Mind you I put in free hypnosis for anxiety.

So let's click out the free because maybe the I don't really focus on the free so much even though it is free. But or if I put in anxiety podcast should I? See if anything comes up. So anxiety podcast.

Anxiety podcast. What comes up there? See there's these websites where they list like 10 top podcasts for anxiety. Never put me in.

Never never put me in. It's not fair. It's not fair man.

I just want to be noticed. No, not on there. Not on there.

Not on there. Am I a little bit further down? Farther? Did I say farther? Anxiety podcast. I wonder if I'm on this list.

Feedspot. Anxiety podcasts. No, no, no, no.

Anyway, hope you will. It's the 18th of July 2021 and oh I am. So on Feedspot I'm number 23 out of their top anxiety websites, podcasts.

That's for relaxation, hypnosis, stress and anxiety. It's alright isn't it? Suppose, suppose. I prefer to be higher than if any of my others are on there.

Anyway I should stop. I'll stop looking at that. So yeah, I'm alright.

I should, I'm gonna do a public apology. I might start crying. I won't.

Basically in my last podcast a few days ago, I ain't done anything for a few days. It's a little bit, yeah, a bit rattled by this. So basically a lady on my Facebook page wrote something.

I thought she was being, what was that? I don't know, sarcastic or something. It was a put down. So I mentioned, I didn't say her name.

Ashley. I didn't say her name. Ashley as her name is.

Ashley. I didn't say in the podcast Ashley. The reason I'm saying now is because I've actually apologized.

It doesn't sound like an apology does it? But hey, it's got to be my own unique way. Basically I was, I got it wrong. Hey, who'd have thought? I've been right, I've been correct at everything for 50 years and suddenly, out of the blue, I get something wrong.

I just didn't expect it. I was blindsided, I must say. So she posted on my page about how upset she was and hearing me call her out on a podcast and stuff.

Of course I didn't mention her name in the podcast. Could have been anybody. But then she posted on my Facebook page telling me off.

So yeah, apologies. I apologize to her. Apologies to anyone else.

Public apology to her, whatever. I'm not very good at this apologizing, am I? Well, I think it's because, I think I'm not, because it was like a, I think like, you remember like a shit sandwich, you know? Like, it's like this, the bread's almost like, it's like all coated in beautiful stuff but inside is like poo. It felt a bit like that.

It's like, well, if you, if your budget doesn't meet your requirements, it doesn't, if you can't afford to pay for the podcast when I was asking for help to pay for it. Basically, if you can't afford to pay for it, use a free service, put it on YouTube. But it was like also, I'm sure your fans will love you dearly and will follow you wherever you go and so it's kind of like, but it's, you know, I got it wrong.

I mean, it was a genuinely nice message, I've been told. Genuine, I've been told. So I just, so I'm, you know, yeah, you know, it's weird.

So I got told off, which doesn't always go down too well with my little brain. So yeah, so I apologize to her. I sent her a personal message because I don't have those kind of conversations on the Facebook page for everyone else to read.

I mean, as I said, when I talked about it, I didn't mention anyone's names, you know, I just said a person. But I deleted the post anyway. My post, the original, like, can you help me? Because I've, basically what it is, I paid for the podcast money, came out of my account and left me with not enough to sort of get by.

And it's just budgeting, you know, spending more than I've got coming in kind of situations. No one's, no one's fault, because I will not take the blame, I will not take responsibility for my own actions. And no one's, no one's fault, no one to blame, just, just the way it is.

Sometimes it's hard to keep track of it all, to be honest. But I'll get out of debt by the end of the year, so I'll be fine. So every month I pay off something.

So at the end of this month, I'll pay the camera off. And a little bit off the credit cards, because they're now getting silly. So I can't believe the interest.

I got it, I got an email, right. And it said, because you're late, we couldn't take the payment out of your bank, because there wasn't enough money in there. This is the minimum payment of, I don't know, 22 pound or 30 pound or something.

They said that the email said, we're going to charge you 12 pounds. So it's 37 pounds with 12 pound, including 12 pound charge for being late, or for going over whatever. They said if you pay in full, the 37 pound, now, now this minute, we will refund you the 12 pound next month.

It's like, wow. Well, I couldn't do it anyway. So they have to wait to the end of the month.

But it's just like, really? And the credit card, these are credit cards, only 500 pound on them. It's not like a lot of money, not like thousands and thousands. So, but they are handy.

You know, I'm trying to get my credit rating higher. Trying to over the years. But I'll tell you what is good, my cough seems to have gone.

That irritating cough that I had for on and going. It almost feels like it's not even there anymore. Which is nice.

It's ever so nice. Oh, it feels so silky. Just my voice just, oh.

So yeah, that was pretty much why I posted just like, just help me out, please, if you can a little bit. But then the whole, I think what it is, is it opened up a little, pulled off a little bit of a scab of previous communications I've had and messages I've had from people over the years. Bearing in mind I've been doing this for 15 plus years online.

So you imagine I've had a lot of unusual conversations during that period. And some people hostile, proper hostile to me. And wow, I wouldn't even, I'm not going to go through it.

But the wow, honestly, I've been called things like snake, was a snake or salesman. And all kinds of things, especially some religious people call themselves religious, throwing hate at me for just basically doing hypnosis, you know, it's against their religion. And like, but being hateful, and wishing me, wishing me eternity in hell, and wishing harm on me.

That's, that's, that fits with your religion. Okay, though, does it? Does it? So this whole, I suppose, you know, the, the idea, and this is something that I actually saw on a video recently on YouTube, actually. But the idea that wherever you go, your audience will follow you.

That's not true. Some people will. I know, so I think, in fact, I could even name, I could probably name 10 or 20 people off the top of my head.

They don't exist. They're just random names. But I'm just saying, I can name 20 people.

I'm just impressed with myself. But I know some people would follow would come to, so if I decided just to only release videos, you know, like I used to mainly focus on videos, but I did podcasts. Secondly, really, videos was my main thing that I focused on sweating.

Wow, it's like a coat of sweat. It's hot in there. Unnecessarily sticky.

So, right in, in, you know, I've, I've actually tested that theory out a few times, that people will follow me, but they don't. Some do. Some people have followed me all over the internet for over 10 years.

But generally, it's not that podcasts are a different audience, but they are, you know, they're not completely different audience from YouTube audience. But it's kind of a different demographic. It's, it's a different audience in the sense of, it's not visual.

It's not videos. It's, I don't know, it's YouTube just different. Watching videos and stuff is just different.

It's a different experience being on YouTube to just go into your podcast or your app on your phone and just click and play. It's just, it's much quicker than YouTube. In a way, it's, it's easier and it's, and it's just audio.

I don't know why I'm explaining the difference between podcasts and YouTube. Well, I guess it's just, it's not that it's a different, some of the audience, some people, like I watch YouTube. I watch, I watch a lot of YouTube videos, mainly, you know, sort of edgy, if I'm trying to learn to do something, educational stuff.

But the kind of stuff I listen to on podcasts is different. You know, it's just a different experience. So I have a much larger audience on the podcast than the podcasts rather than I do, than I ever had on YouTube.

So, you know, if, I just know, I've done it before. I've tested it. I've test, I've tested this.

See, when I was on YouTube, I took all my videos and put them on a different video platform. One that I paid for, but it was still free for people to watch the videos. I let everybody know, I put all the videos on my website, and just all links and everything.

And, you know, I had people come. People did come to the, to the YouTube channel, up to the, I forget what it's called now, but the other channel that I had, the other video channel, but not many, compared to the subscribers that I had. It was a tiny, tiny amount of people really.

I did a, I went, I remember at one point, I stopped doing videos on YouTube, and I just did them on my website. Had them embedded, and had them again privately hosted on a different video, Vimeo, that's it, Vimeo, V-I-M-E, V-I-M-I-O, I think. So, I paid for that hosting.

Quite a lot of money, I think, at the time. X, I had so many videos, and hosted them free on there, and they were only available to stream on my website. Again, people, people visited, people did come and watch them, but nothing compared to YouTube, because the traffic, it doesn't generate traffic.

YouTube generates traffic. The podcasts generate traffic. You know, there's an audience, iTunes, or Apple Podcasts, or CastBox, all the different apps, and different podcast hosts, where you go, and you watch your podcasts, they promote, and they, there's an audience there, that can find you, and just like YouTube, I mean, it's, it's brilliant for that, where, for those, not me, not me so much, but for those that do good stuff, the audience is there to find you, and you can end up, you know, being really successful.

I had a tiny bit of success. The peak of my success was 2011. No, 2012.

2011 slash 2012. That's when I was at my peak. 2012? Yeah, yeah, it was, and I, again, I wasn't, okay, I think I was getting, I wasn't getting a lot, it wasn't like huge amounts, but I was getting 45,000 video views a month, and I had, I reached a half a million video views.

Now, I know that's not a lot, okay, I know some people get that in five minutes on one video, so, but what it was, is exponentially, it was rising, rising, to the point where, if I'd have kept that channel going, if I'd have not deleted it, yeah, I deleted it, yep, if I hadn't had that weird brain fart, where I deleted my YouTube channel. Exponentially, the way it was going, it was growing by quite a good percentage. I'd have, I'd be getting millions and millions of views, probably weekly, millions.

You think, like, you know, nine years later, if I'd have kept it going, and this was when the videos weren't that great, it wasn't a good quality sound or video, but people still watched them. Now, with the better quality, better, better, better, quality video, even with the iPhone, because the iPhone, mind you, I was living in a, in a dungeon at the time, in 2012, so, it was never gonna be that great a quality picture, even if I had a hundred thousand pound camera, it'd still probably look grainy in there, because it was underground. It's in a basement.

But anyway, the cameras are much better now, and the pictures, and the video, the quality, the sounds a lot better than it used to be. Anything that I did now, if I just sat here with a camera, with the, with that mobile phone, the iPhone, on a little tripod, and I've got plenty of those, I've got two, three, a couple of, a couple of big ones, and two small ones, but one came with the other camera, did it? I don't know.

But anyway, if I just, if I had the camera, and I just talked into it, and it filmed me, that would be possibly, well, would be better quality than any of the previous recordings I'd made on video, audio-wise as well, because even though it wouldn't be, it wouldn't be this quality of sound, it would be a good quality, you know, it wouldn't be like all hissy, or a huge amount of background sound, that's more to do with, well, there's not much activity here anymore, just me.

I'm going to start getting sad now. It's just me. I just had a little memory of, Andre used to be behind that door quite a lot, because the door was pinned back, the living room door, and he'd run out, and he'd run, and he'd like, he needed to go to the toilet, and he'd like, he'd run out, and you could see he was asleep, and he'd didn't know where he was going.

He was like, oh, it's hot, and he'd run over and do his bits, and then he'd, he'd rub his bum against the carpet, oh dear, oh dear, and then he'd go back in, behind the door again. Oh dear, it's funny. I don't know how he learned to do that, but you know what I mean? Just, how did he just, so, what was I talking about? Yeah, that YouTube video, if I'd have carried on with that YouTube, I mean, it's ifs and buts and whatever, but, you know, I definitely sabotaged myself on that occasion.

Still not sure why, but hey, and luckily I still had the podcast, I had a cut 100,000 downloads on the SoundCloud podcast, so people didn't follow me. Some people followed me, okay, some people followed me from YouTube, and you know, what happened then is I thought, well, I also had all my videos on Vimeo still from before, when I tried it, to try and, you know, see if people would follow me to Vimeo, and they didn't. So, I made my videos available on my website on Vimeo.

So, you know, anyone who wanted to still had access to the videos, but it just wasn't the same, didn't have the same energy, didn't have the same audience, yet podcasting at that point wasn't popular. It was popular in 2007, 2008, 2006, whatever, it was quite popular. And then it just, I carried on, but you can't get rid of me.

I'm like a bad stain. That's me. And I never go away.

I'm always there to torment ya. So, I guess I was, podcast was kind of my savior in a way, because I kept doing podcasts, and I pretty much gave up on YouTube after that. I did, I had a couple of channels since, but I never quite got the same, never really got the same enthusiasm as I had before, because I just ruined such a good thing.

You know, it was going up, it was, you know, it was like 32,000, then 45,000 a month, you know, sort of literally growing that big, that quick. And I was getting 100, I was getting over 100 subscribers a day, new subscribers. Now, I know that's a tiny amount, I realize that, you know, if you compare that to popular YouTube channels, but try not to do that.

Try and, if you think back, you know, 10 years ago, when I was, I suppose I was one of the, one of the, one of the, I don't know, I say big players, not a big, I was never a big player, but I was known. I was definitely one of the YouTube hypnotists to go to. You know, there was others way more popular than me, but I was in the mix, as it were, and I was starting to really, starting to really grow.

And seeing how YouTube works, and even podcasts, is that exponential growth is phenomenal. If you ride the wave, and you do all the work that you need to do, and you're patient, when the growth spurt happens, which I'm still waiting, I'm still waiting. When it happens, it happens with podcasts as well.

Every now and then, suddenly, there's like a growth spurt, and then I never go beyond, I never go below a certain number. And that's, it's interesting, but with YouTube, it's a never ending audience. I mean, it's such a big, biggest audience there is, pretty much.

So, once you start getting subscribers, and it seems to be the more subscribers you have, the more you get. Because the number of subscribers, although you don't, don't actually, on the profile doesn't show the subscribers, it used to, in the old days, doesn't seem to show the amount they've got on each person. But, you can see by video views, how popular the person is, or how popular the YouTube channel is.

And people have got like five, six hundred thousand views on a video, that's only been out for maybe a couple of weeks, three, you know, a month maybe. That's huge, isn't it? That's, to me, that's a hugely popular channel. And, even to the point where, that's more than I did in two, I think it took me five years to get to half a million views.

However, PewDiePie, PewDiePie, the biggest YouTuber, he's got a hundred and, a hundred and ten million subscribers, I think, something like that. Maybe a hundred and eleven million subscribers. So, he makes a video, and he makes a lot of videos.

He does, he does like one, two, three a day or something, maybe more. And, I think he does quite a bit of live streaming. So, when he makes a video, you can actually watch it, and look up, and you can pretty much see the numbers that have watched it go up.

So, you can look at it, refresh the page, and it just goes up by thousands and thousands. Now, within ten minutes, he might have, like, a hundred and twenty thousand people have viewed his video. And, he might end up getting, like, a million, or two million.

And then, that'll be it. And then, the next video will get, maybe, a million or two. And, maybe the really popular ones, perhaps, get ten, fifteen, twenty million, or whatever.

But, considering he's got a hundred and ten million subscribers, which is just mind, mind expanding, it's, it can't even, I didn't even know there was that many people on the planet. So, that's a huge amount of people, isn't it? A hundred and ten, a hundred and eleven million. And, he's brilliant.

I actually watch his channel. I'm not really into, sort of, gaming or whatever. But, he's, he's a superstar.

He is, he is. And, he's famous. He's the most famous.

I know that some of the other, I guess, I suppose, people like the two brothers of boxing, they're probably more famous in, like, in a traditional way, because of being in the newspapers and putting on boxing fights and fighting Mayweather and stuff like that. But, PewDiePie, he is the star of YouTube. He's the biggest star.

He's the biggest, got the most amount of subscribers. And, he sits there in front of his, you know, audience every day, does a video, just chatting. And, he's really into memes and stuff.

And, he's, I imagine his audience have grown up with him. So, some people were watching him when they were maybe eight or nine. And, now, perhaps they're, you know, in their mid-twenties or, you know, 23 or whatever.

And, imagine that, watching something from, like, a little kid, suddenly. And, he's grown up. And, he's, I don't know, 13, 14 years older than he was.

It's amazing. So, that's what you'd get with me. Can you imagine? There's actually a video on there, on my YouTube channel.

Don't go. I'm not trying to get you to go to my YouTube channel. It's rubbish.

Don't bother. But, it's, I actually have been uploading, I mean, sharing. I made these playlists on my YouTube channel.

And, I've been sharing my podcasts. So, I've got, you know, the Let Me Bore You to Sleep podcast, the Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety and Panic Attacks, the Relax and Sleep Hypnosis Daily, and the Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis. I think they're the ones.

So, I've got all those different podcast playlists. So, I've been uploading them. But, as there's, like, over 1,600 altogether, it's quite a lot to put on.

So, it's been a big old task. And, every now and then, YouTube stopped me from loading it. So, I was like, stop it.

You've done too much. And, I've lost quite a few subscribers. I've lost, probably, like, 10, over 10 subscribers, maybe 12, over the last week, as I've been uploading these.

Because, it's just too much. They're getting bombarded every time they go onto a YouTube channel, which is me, because I've uploaded hundreds, or over 100. Yeah, hundreds, actually, over 200.

So, I'm going to continue doing that until they're all on there. And then, then, only then, I will start making videos again on YouTube. But, I just, I think it's good for people to have access to my podcasts.

Because, this is the work I've done over the last three or four years. I've been focusing on podcasts. I've been focusing on this stuff, what I'm doing now, over the last three, three or four years, or whatever it's been, since 2018.

Three years, then. So, since 2018, I've been doing this. And, you know, I think I'd quite like to share it.

I don't need the YouTube audience for the podcast, because I've got the podcast audience for the podcast. And, in fact, I prefer people to listen to the podcast episodes on the podcast, not on YouTube. Because, this is where the podcasts are.

Not that it really makes any difference. But, I just, in my mind, it's two different audiences. But, there's a crossover.

There's a crossover. And, you know, I've tried to take audiences to different places. As I said, I even got rid of podcasts.

I sent out even newsletters. I sent out emails to people saying, I used to have a huge email list, years ago. I lost it.

I did. So, I sent emails out to everyone saying, I got rid of the podcast. It's not there anymore.

But, you can access, on my website, you can stream, or it might have just been downloaded at the time, whatever it was, you can download all of my recordings on my website. And, yeah, I'd have people, I'd have more people visit my website then, than now. Yet, it was nothing compared to the amount of people that were visiting the podcast, and listening, and streaming, and downloading.

So, I guess, because, but then, how would other people know that, unless I haven't told them, you know? So, I kind of, in a way, I'm assuming that everyone knows that it isn't as simple as just moving to a different platform, and everyone follows. They don't, perhaps, because I've not mentioned it, that I've tried it on quite a few different occasions, and it's never worked out on any of the occasions. So, I guess, perhaps, if you don't know, you don't know, do you? So, not everybody's doing what I'm doing.

Not everybody listening is, perhaps, makes videos, or makes podcasts. So, you might not know how it works. Not that I'm an expert, I'm just saying, I know a little bit, because I do it, not very well, but I give it a go.

I really, really try my bestest. I know it's not good enough. I know that.

I'm aware. I'm aware of my shortcomings. There's plenty of them.

I own a mirror. So, yeah. So, sorry Sharon, or whatever her name was.

Was it Shirley? I really can't remember. But it was, there was that kind of, I think it might have been a really positive message that I got, and I just didn't see it as positive. Kind of, I dampened it with my own thought processes.

But, well, it happens. You know, I'm not here to, I'm here just to have a bit of fun, make things a bit light, and, you know, I'll have a little moan every now and then, sometimes. You know, if I get a message, I like to read messages out, if they're nice.

And if it's not so nice, I'll make a, you know, I like to read it out. Or if it's nice, but I think it's just some kind of, it isn't really nice, even though it was nice, and I got it wrong, I'll read that out, and then get told off, and then I'll apologize. And it's like, oh, even though it'll come across as insincere, but, you know, I did feel, I didn't feel great, to be fair.

And why do you think I haven't made a recording for four days? So, yeah. So, it's, but I'm back. I'm back now.

I'm back now. Oh, yeah. So, I'll just be working on a website as well, the last few days, and also uploading the videos, or sharing the videos to YouTube, with the intention of starting, when they're all uploaded, which is still going to take me probably to the end of next week, starting to make videos again.

Or continuing to make videos, because I haven't, I have made videos, you know, it's not like I haven't made any for 12 years. I have. I just haven't made them that often.

You know, so, I'm possibly just going to record myself making the podcasts, film myself rather. So, I'll record it, and I'll film it. So, I will upload the filmed version to the YouTube channel, and I will then just upload the audio version to the podcast, as per normal.

And then that's it. Bridget, that's the lot. Hobot.

So, what else? Yeah. I think another thing is, because I was on the Facebook page, and I was asking for help, and you know what, even though I do post, you know, messages, asking for a bit of help when I need it, it's not easy, you know. It's not because I don't know how to write, because I do, but it's not easy to, because you know, when you ask for help, you're kind of showing some vulnerability.

Yeah, you know, it's a little bit, I mean, luckily, I don't have any pride. So, I'm quite fortunate like that. Otherwise, I'd never be able to ask, would I, for any help.

But it makes it harder when no one responds, or when, you know, especially, sort of, the amount of times I've had responses when I've put, can I, I need a bit of help with playing a podcast, and someone will post, I'm sure you'll get loads of help, I'm sure you'll get lots of help, and people will help you. But never, that person never does do any help. They'll say, you get people because you're so loved, but they don't actually do anything.

Not that I'm complaining, I'm just, you know, I find it funny that sometimes I get people saying, yeah, I've no doubt you'll get a lot of help, and it'll be fine. You've got a lot of followers that enjoy what you do, and they'll support you. Why don't you? Why don't you support me? Why don't you? I just find that, I don't know, does that make sense? It sounds, it just comes across as a bit of an unusual way of being.

It's like walking up to someone who's just fallen off their bike. Look, I can see you're in pain, but I'm sure someone will call an ambulance. Gal, I'm sure.

No, you call an ambulance. Call it for me. No, someone will call an ambulance for you, I'm sure they will.

Or perhaps a homeless person is begging. I'm sure someone's going to give you some money. You look hungry.

You hungry? Yeah, I'm hungry, man. Well, he's a hippie for some reason. Yeah, I'm sure someone will give you some food.

Take care. It's like, what? It's almost, I don't know, there's a separation there, isn't there? There's some kind of absolute, I don't know, like they're watching a movie or something. It's like, well, yeah, I'm going to, platitudes don't mean nothing when you're hungry.

Yeah, you're doing well. I like the way you're holding that empty coffee cup. Yeah, it's really good.

I'm sure that really tempts people to put money in. Yeah, it's very creative because you stand outside the coffee place, looks like you've got a cup of coffee, but you haven't really, have you? But then people can put money in there so you can buy, you can buy a cup of coffee. Or maybe they will give you a new cup of coffee because that one is clearly empty because the way you're, otherwise you'd be shaking it around, it'd go everywhere, wouldn't it? So, yeah, it's very, very creative.

Are you hungry? Yeah, I'm hungry. Well, I'm sure someone will buy you a sandwich in the coffee place. Take care.

Bye. All the best. I know.

Imagine if they walk away like, I've really made a difference in that person's life. I've really made a difference with my words of encouragement and my falseness. Oh, wow.

I do feel we've forced a little bit of platitudes sometimes having to, you know, when someone's like, I remember when Andre, you know, when Andre had his, you know, when I lost Andre, I had a neighbour and he's like, and she said to me, oh, I'm really sorry to hear, he was a lovely little boy, I'm sorry to hear. If you ever need to talk or anything, just, you know, I'm here for you. And I said, well, I just really miss him and just, it was so much, you know, so much quieter now that he's not there.

She said, wait, wait, stop, stop. Not now. Not now.

I'm not here now. I don't want to, I can't listen to you now. I'll talk about another time.

Just, you know, I've got things to do. I said, oh, okay. I said, when? What, later? Tomorrow? What about the weekend? What about Sunday? She said, I don't really, I didn't really mean it.

It's just, it was just, I was just being friendly. I was trying to find an out of the conversation. Just by saying, I don't really want to listen to you.

Just, why do you have to make things so difficult? Sorry, Mum. So, I didn't mean now. Oh dear.

I do make myself laugh. So that's, that's it really. And not much else going on.

I plan, I'm trying to get myself organised. I'm also trying to tidy this place up. So every now and then I have a little 10 minute flutter where I kind of tidy and move stuff towards the chucking out in the bin area.

I'm just trying to get organised. Trying to organise the recordings. Trying to organise the getting, you know, YouTube set up.

I will, I went to see if I could cancel the Adobe monthly thing. I pay £50 a month for that. £175 it's going to cost me if I cancel.

£175. So if I cancel now, it's going to cost me over three months worth of the thing. What a rip off.

How? You know, it's so many things that I pay monthly for that I can just cancel. In fact, everything. It's the only thing I ever had where I didn't read the small print, where it's a contract where you have to pay for it.

And you know, Adobe, they are great. I'm not, you know, I can't, you know, the fact is they are really good. And I used to own their software.

Photoshop and stuff like that. There was a time when Adobe was free. If you go far enough back, it was free.

It was free software or hardware or software you could download and it was all you know, and now it's expensive, man. As expensive as a house that costs £50 a month. See, yep, that's me done for the day.

I do believe it's day. And I'm going to just, you know, continue doing what I'm doing and look to, hmm, I'm not sure, look to do something. I tell you what is weird.

I've cooked for myself, because I've had no money to go out and do it. Not that I go out and go to restaurants and stuff, but and couldn't really go any shopping or anything like that. So I've, I've had to resort to eating out of the freezer.

I don't mean eating out of the freezer, you know, cooking stuff out of the freezer. So I've got some ready meals, you know, frozen meals and stuff. But also for the last two days, I've actually cooked myself a dinner.

Yeah, so potatoes in the fridge. And I've had a pie, mashed potato pie and beans. And today I had mashed potato, fish fingers and beans.

But they were like battered fish fingers. So you might think, well, that's not proper food. Well, to me it is.

And I haven't cooked an actual meal. Yeah, as in like cooking potatoes and stuff for probably not the whole of this year. I don't suppose I don't think I can't remember the last time I actually cooked anything outside of maybe just a pie on its own in the oven or frying something.

Or grilling something like bacon or something like that. Or some sausages to put in a sandwich, you know, a sausage sandwich. But to actually cook as in boiling some potatoes, probably not this year.

And I'm going to be doing it again tomorrow. So I seem to have got my mojo back a little bit from that perspective. And also, you know, I cleaned the sink today.

This is boring. I should have done this at the beginning. This really is boring.

I cleaned the sink. It was really fun. But yeah, bit by bit.

I like to do things gradually. I can't be bothered with this whole like, I'm now going to spend the next three days, you know, no, just do it gradually. You know, eventually, all the bits of paper that I once sorted will be sorted.

All of the recordings will be on YouTube. All of my recordings will be saved because I've got another hard drive that I'm saving stuff onto where it's all going to be organized. That'll all be done.

And, you know, what is it? I have my, I have my second jab, this my second vaccine jab this week, in a couple of days. So I'd be good to get that out of the way, out of the way, out of the way, out of the, out of the, out of the, out of the, out of the way. And then it'll be the end of the month, and I'll be able to pay off the camera.

So that'll be another thing, an extra thing that's paid off. So it's just, yeah, it's just one, one less thing to be in debt for. And then I will pay off.

Yeah, and then the following month, I will try and pay off towards the other stuff. So what is it? July, August, September. So August and September will pay off that.

And then October, November will pay off that. Yeah, so it might not all be paid off by the end of the year, but most of it will. I think the thing that's going to be left will probably be the, I wanted to pay off the iPad and the phone, because I've got contracts on both the phone and the iPad.

They're going to be the last things I pay off. So that's like 60 quid a month between the two of them. But I'm used to that anyway, I've been paying them for ages, so over a year.

So, and I do use them. So they're the two things that I use the most of, really. So, I guess it's not a big deal, I can pay them off.

I just wanted to, because they're not the, the SIM cards I have in the iPad and the phone are separate. So they're separate contracts, completely separate from the actual phone and the iPad. So if I pay that contract off, I'll still, you know, I'm not, I've got the internet and stuff and the telephone SIM card.

So, you know, I'm not going to pay those off because I need them. But it'd be good to get rid of that 60 pound a month expense. So that's the benefit.

Every month I pay something off, there's less expense that month coming, you know. So it will eventually all work its way out, work its way out, work its, it will all come together. That's what I'm trying to say.

Man, that's what I'm trying to say. Come on. Get with it, baby.

I'm trying to express myself. Express myself like a flying boobie, heading towards the moon. Right.

I want to go. Thanks for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy.

Happy snappy. Do something. Happy snappy.

Do something nice for yourself. Something, you know, just treat yourself to something, even if it's just an ice cream or something like that, or hot dog or whatever, or nice vegan. I don't know.

Is there any such thing as a nice vegan thing? Cookie, a nice vegan cookie. Get some lovely vegan cookies. I've had a couple in the past.

I made that up, but I'm just I imagine there are. You can get raw cookies. I think you can actually get raw cookies.

Which I imagine, I think they kind of they dry. But they're raw, so they are crispy, but in the sense of you got all this raw food, raw vegetables and fruit and stuff. I think if you really, I think taste is, I used to be a vegan.

I used to be a vegetarian. I used to be a vegan different times. And when I was a vegan, this is in the 90s, I struggled to find food that tasted nice.

I know that, you know, things have come a long way in the last 20 odd years, 30 years, 90, blimey. Yeah, however long. And but yeah, so things are different.

But I struggled with that. And the thing is, with the best will in the world, if something don't taste nice, you're not going to want to eat it. Generally, you know, it's got to taste nice.

It's not enough. You know, I might be eating a raw diet and thinking, well, I'm kind of saving, saving the world. And, you know, I'm making a difference and brilliant.

But if it don't taste nice, I don't know how motivated I'd be. Can you imagine? Well, you might not be able to imagine me on a vegetarian diet. Honestly, I won't go into details.

But wow, I'd lose a lot of weight. If I did vegetarian diet, I would lose weight pretty rapidly. Because I'd just be on the toilet all the time.

Vegetarian diet is good for losing weight. Give it a go. It is.

Actually, I've got a friend who's a veg, she's a vegan, I think. And yeah, that doesn't hold true for her. But I think, you know, for me, it did.

It's just it's I guess it's different for everyone, isn't it? I think it just shows says more about me and my my own diet of what I eat now. Because if I stopped eating meat, I think I also stopped eating cakes and chocolate and stuff. Yeah, very low sugar diet.

I feel quite healthy. Blimey, since 2004. It's a long time ago.

Long time. I can't believe I remember that far back. Anyway, I'm gonna go.

This was I'm sorry, this is a bit too exciting. This recording. But never mind.

Never mind. A never mind. Try hard before you judge me.

Try to love me. Anyway, take care. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Bye bye.