#666 Let me bore you to sleep - HOW I GOT STARTED IN COMEDY - Jason Newland (6th June 2021)

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. My name is Jason Newland and this particular podcast is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. And please, please, please only listen to this podcast when you can safely close your eyes.

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How you doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You alright? You alright? Oh yeah? Oh yeah? Good. Oh, well that was nice.

So today's Sunday the 6th of June 2021. Can you believe it? 2021. Blimey.

2021. I remember 990, no 9, yeah 990. Yeah, I was 19 years old.

20 in the August. Blimey. Did I ever tell you about the comedy days? Not the comedy days themselves, but the previous days, before the comedy days.

What led up to me wanting to do comedy? Did I ever tell you this story? Let me tell you now. Well, I think I was, I think, I tell you what, okay, I used to have a laugh. I used to like, I really enjoyed laughing when I was a kid and always loved comedy.

You know, comedy shows, comedy films. When I was a kid, we did have stand-up comedians that were for kids, like family stand-up comedians. Things like Bobby Davro, Freddie Star, Russ Abbott, there was Keith, Keith, what's his name with Orville and Keith Harris.

Sorry, I do apologize. Keith Harris and Orville and Cuddles, the monkey. And then there was quite a few, quite unusual stand-up comedians that, it was family comedy aimed, I suppose, a lot at the kids that were watching.

So, the idea that alternative comedy started in the late 80s and, you know what, there was just as much weird kind of stuff in the late 70s and early 80s that was out there. Like Keith Harris, he wasn't, he was a mainstream comedian, but when he did TV shows, it was very different. Ventriloquism and, there was a lot of very surreal comedians, there was.

I mean, there was one comedian, he'd come on stage and he'd talk to a brick. Now, if that's not alternative comedy, what the hell is? And that was in the early 80s. So, you know, the idea of alternative comedy, I do understand the concept because it was very different from the traditional adult comedy that was in the clubs.

Because most of the comedy was in like working men's clubs around the country. And there'd be people, for those that don't know, in this country, because America was well ahead with comedy. You know, they were doing what we would class alternative comedy here, they were doing that in the 60s.

You know, we were 20 odd years behind. So, you know, there you go. The comedians here, the ones that were really popular, were people like Bernard Manning and Jim Davidson, Lenny Henry.

There was lots, lots of, but then you had someone like, I mean alternative comedy, you had Spike Milligan. I mean, if that wasn't alternative comedy, what was? It was very, you know, there was, you know what I mean? The idea that alternative comedy really only started around the young ones kind of period. And you had Ben Elton and there was a TV show called Friday Night Live.

Was it? I think it was. And it was hosted by Ben Elton and it had Haylen Pace, Harry Enfield and all of these people that became big, big stars in the UK. Went on to have their own TV shows and they almost paved the way for other comedians that then became huge.

Like Lee Evans and Jack Dee and, you know, there's this huge, huge numbers of different comedians that went on to be really big in the UK. But that was Friday Night Live. I loved it.

I even liked Ben Elton, but the way I saw it, I even liked it. I mean, he spoke way too fast for me. He had a delivery that was, it was supersonically fast.

But the people that made that show for me wasn't Ben Elton. It was Harry Enfield and, you know, some of the comedians that I'd never seen before. Like Joe Brand.

I mean, Joe Brand is possibly the oldest, not in age, but the longest. She's probably had one of the longest careers as a stand-up comedian, Joe Brand. She was already famous when I first met her in 1991 and she didn't like me.

I said something that upset her and I don't know what it was. But, you know, in the comedy club that I used to go to on a Wednesday night, she used to be there. It was a comedian hangout.

So, loads of really big, well, just comedians. Fame, you know, well-known, as well as just gigging comedians and people like me used to hang out there. Mingle, as it were.

And I still remember that her boyfriend, I got on well with her boyfriend. And he was a really good comedian. And for some reason she didn't like me, but he did.

So, hey. And he was, I think he used to help write her material. He wrote for her and he wrote for other comedians as well.

And he's dead now. He died a couple of years ago. And it wasn't natural causes either.

So, he, and I really liked him. And he was really cool, good looking. And he'd get on stage and he kind of had a bit of an Elvis persona going on.

And he just was cool. And he was funny. And his material was brilliant.

Because, you know, anyone that can write material for other comedians is likely going to save the best stuff for themselves. But anyway, I remember him saying to me. Always used to say hello to me.

Always made time for me. And I wasn't the most popular comedian on the circuit. Part of the reason for that was because I used to, I used to fart a lot.

And I used to try and steal stuff off people. No, I didn't. I did fart.

The thing that people didn't like is, if they had to go on stage after me, it wasn't always easy for them. Sometimes, it wasn't, sometimes I wouldn't do so well, especially in the early days. Sometimes I would purposely alienate the audience.

I would purposely upset the audience. Because I found it amusing. I don't know, I was kind of like a, I suppose a controversial comedian.

My material was very rude and very adult based. But a lot of the time I was talking about stuff that I had no idea about. But then I was, you know, I was quite young at the time.

But sometimes I would go on and I'd, you know, the audience would be lovely and I'd get on stage. And by the time I got off, the audience were hostile. Wait a minute, I think there's a ghost.

Oh no, the ghost of Andre. Stop it. There is, oh that's sad, isn't it? What was it? There was one time, and I had a really good, a pretty good friend.

That I'd been, I'd known since the very first gig that I ever did. And we just stayed friends. And we lost our friendship for a little while.

We made friends again afterwards. But he really didn't like me after this particular gig. It was in East London, in the middle of nowhere.

And on a rough like council estate, housing estate. It was this like pub. He was headlining, getting paid.

And basically I went on before him. And the club pretty much, the comedy club that was at that night pretty much closed down during me being on stage. I don't think he got paid.

And yeah, he didn't talk to me for a while. So I did shut down a few clubs by going on stage. And the, there's a lot of clubs, they're just in a pub, in a room.

And the pub owner, landlord, whatever, would rent out the room or the pub to a comedy promoter. And there'd be like a door split or the promoter would take the money on the door. But you, the audience, would spend money at the bar.

That's kind of often the two different ways they'd do it. Yeah, there's a few places closed down because of me. They said no more nights after that.

Because, you know, there'd be almost like a mini riot. So I didn't, I used to enjoy it. But I just found it funny how easy it was to annoy people.

Because I didn't really understand why they were getting annoyed. Because personally I thought what I was saying was funny. And some people did.

Some comedy clubs loved, or the audiences loved what I was doing. Some didn't so much. So, but I just remember this, Jim his name was, the comedian that isn't around anymore.

He said to me, and I talked about this before, he came up to me one night, probably late 90s. Yeah, late 90s. So I'd known him for probably about 8, 7, 8, 9, 8 years or whatever.

And he came up to me and he said, I'm quitting. And I started laughing, I said no you're not. What are you talking about, you're quitting.

And he said yeah I'm quitting, I'm quitting comedy. I'm going to continue writing, but I'm quitting performing. I said why? I said you're one of the top comedians on the circuit.

You headline, every time you perform you're a headliner. You're earning, you know, clearly you're earning loads of money doing 3, 4 gigs on a Friday and Saturday night. So you're earning thousands of pounds a weekend.

And he said, no I'm quitting. I said why? He said because I'm never going to be the best. I said yeah, but it's different.

Okay, you've got Lee Evans, you've got Jack D. I mean, each of them could say that they were the best. Both hugely successful as comedians in the country. But very different, I mean you couldn't get more different.

You could be different, you know. It's like Robin Williams and Jerry Seinfeld. Or Richard Pryor, Sam Kinison, Bill Cosby.

He was a huge comedy star, so I'm still going to mention him. They're all different, all different comedians. What's his name? Steve, Steve.

Rambling Guy. I'm a rambling, rambling, rambling, rambling, rambling, rambling, rambling guy. Excuse me.

Martin Steve Martin I mean they were all huge comedians in America Steve Martin was doing filling out stadiums in the 70s Bill Cosby was filling out stadiums in the 60s Richard Pryor was filling out stadiums in the 70s Sam Kinison was doing the same in the 80s who else do we mention Jerry Seinfeld can still fill out you know stadiums pretty much wherever he goes because he's a huge huge star still even though you know he's had one of the most successful TV shows comedy shows of all time so he's he's always going to be

able to perform whenever he wants to whoever he wants but they're all different I mean you think Jerry Seinfeld and Sam Kinison for those that know they're comedians you couldn't get more different completely different characters Jerry Seinfeld obviously way more you could say successful he's got that long longevity but then Sam Kinison died in 1991 so you can't you know I mean different different lifestyles different different types of comedy different types of people but I'll guarantee one thing the excitement of going to one of their concerts I'm guessing I say a guarantee and but I'm

pretty sure they're going to see Sam Kinison in his peak would have been more exciting than going to see pretty much nearly any other comedian because of the energy I imagine people going to see Andrew Dice Clay people going but then at the time you know Steve Steve Martin imagine how exciting that would have been to see such a massive star in his peak you know you had comedy albums those are the days when comedy albums used to chart you know these big big big successful albums like if you go back Carl Reiner is it

Reiner in Bill Cosby was kind of like the king of the comedy album for a while he had loads of albums out Richard Pryor of course had quite a few albums as well Carl George Carlin he had quite a few albums and he's one that seemed to almost I don't know how he got better but I know some people say well Richard Pryor king of comedy but in America and most comedians even in the UK would sort of agree and sort of say well if there was a list of the top stand-up comedians of all

time based on not just their success but the influence they had on comedy and on other comedians you know I mean pretty much every every black comedian man I've had so many interviews I've read I've seen and all I said the same Richard Pryor they wanted to be Richard Pryor Eddie Murphy wanted to be Richard Pryor but then probably loads of comedians wanted to be Eddie Murphy so I don't really know who the big big comedians are anymore in America I mean there's some that Bill Burr I almost missed him in a sense of I

didn't really get to know him who he was I knew who he was because he used to come to the UK quite regularly in the 90s he's been around a long time Bill Burr but I didn't he wasn't a big name I didn't think he was but he is a he is a big name on the comedy in the comedy world in America and I don't know if he used to be controversial but he is now I've watched quite a few comedy comedians from America that got specials on Netflix and I do I do like

him I just don't know see there seems to be a different mindset with the comedians in America it's almost like going back for years comedy or being a stand-up comedy was a route to bigger and better things it's almost like they weren't doing comedy because that's what they wanted to do they might be doing it because they love it or that's that might have been what they wanted to do at the beginning and then they got successful and then they realized that other options were there like being an actor being on telly being in movies

maybe even being a singer you know whatever if you look at Jamie Foxx I mean he's a singer he's an actor Oscar winner as well as being a comedian he's sort of done it all Dennis Leary is another one Dennis Leary if you've never heard of Dennis Leary he's he's been in loads of movies and he's never really been the star of much in the way of movies as far as I'm aware he's been in lots of movies he's also been in quite a few TV shows as well where he was one of the stars

but he started out as a comedian I don't know if he does comedy anymore and but he came to London in the early 90s I think it was 91 and I followed him around like a groupie I did I followed him around I went to see him probably three or four times while he was here he was only here for about a week and he was doing the comedy clubs he might have done a theatre show but I didn't go to that but he came over and I think it was the first time he'd been

here and it was it was quite hot news you know in this circuit like all Dennis Leary's coming here he's really offensive and he's he's kind of like Andrew Dice Clay and Sam Kinison he's that kind of level of spite and horribleness now I internally vibrated when I heard that I was very excited so what I did is I followed him I went and saw him I think the first time I saw him was at the comedy store and I laughed so much I really did and I can't tell you any of his material because

it's all offensive right from the start so funny so funny it was brilliant and basically he did do an album called No Cure for Cancer in the 90s and that's got pretty much his material on it from that show that he did but seeing him live was an experience that I'm so pleased to have had because you're never gonna get that in an album you know I'd love to have seen Sam Kinison live I was listening to his album in the first one is I didn't know who he was but it was in the comedy

section under like stand-up comedy and I thought okay it's 1990 and I just got it listened to it and it was have you seen me lately and it's a live concert and it's in a in a stadium I think huge audience you can hear how huge the audience is and I was laughing I found it brilliant loved the album and then and that was I think he did that album in 1980 I think it was 1989 and he did another album in 1986 or 85 or so which was this first album which was Sam Kinison

I think it was louder louder than hell something like that and after I got the album I realized I had seen him because he'd been on see this gets very confusing because as we all know human memories aren't always precise especially talking about something that happened 30 years ago but the I had a video I think I might got the video afterwards and this was Rodney Dangerfield's introduced Rodney Dangerfield's club comedy club and he had guest comedians so he was just going on and just comparing it and introducing the comedians and all of them were

great there is his name his name I don't want to go off of the page that I'm on because I don't wanna ruin the recording he's curb your enthusiasm he's on that quite a lot he's what's-his-name's like best friend in it so he's on there something Stewart was on there and Sam Kinison was on there so that's the first yeah first time I actually saw him in flesh and that was from about 1985 I think so he'd been around a while before he really made it big and then he went off the rails I mean

like really really off the rails man like really I'd have loved to have been there and seen him do a gig apparently he was I don't know if it was someone said it was a wedding he was attending a wedding or something and he was drunk and he got on stage and he did like an impromptu show and he did and there's loads of comedians there as well and it was one of those really famous moments that never happened it did happen but was never recorded and it's just hearsay it's just you know one of

those kind of a mythical moments and apparently got on stage and he did like an hour of new material impromptu and some of the people that were there said it was the best stuff they'd ever seen him do but no one no one recorded it and I imagine Sam Kinison had forgotten all about it the next day when he sort of became soberish and then Andrew Dias-Clea was another one that I really and I know that he's very controversial at the time but he was playing a character like why didn't people realize that he was

almost making fun of people with those views kind of it was a character being an obnoxious man just saying stuff that's ridiculous that's where I mean it's where I got wrong because I actually went on stage and I wasn't a character it was just me I should have although there was a time quite early on where I used to wear all leather a leather cap and I was trying to be I was trying to be like a mixture of Andrew Dias-Clea and Sam Kinison so I do like the trying to be cool and then I'd

start screaming at the audience it didn't work I really didn't but sometimes people find it funny but it was just I was trying to find my own my own voice I guess and that didn't really happen it happened a few times in the early days but I don't know if it really ever really happened where I could just be myself when there was one night I did a gig in the middle of nowhere again but was paid so I was good and as my friend Dolly Dupree she actually liked me and she gave me paid

gigs so I was in the middle of nowhere literally it was like in Hertfordshire or Middlesex in this little village and there was maybe 25 30 people in the audience and they loved me they loved me I stood there and I was just making silly noises and silly faces and just acting just being myself you know just acting silly which is me I'm not I'm not really a controversial person not really you know when I was doing it on stage I was trying to be something that I wasn't and I think part of the reason

for that is because I always had the ability to be really vicious verbally you know if as a comeback or is a yeah in the the midst of a witty repertoire whatever is with someone I could always find a really good put-down but that would be only in defense you know but when I went on stage I was doing put-downs for no reason and that's why it didn't it didn't really always go very well plus I just wasn't very funny which is a bit of a annoying but I remember thinking once I thought you know

what especially after that gig that went well and I thought I didn't even need any jokes didn't even need any material I was just myself and I just talked and people liked me it's almost like they were like I was their friend not some random stranger getting on stage to dance for them you know entertain them I was just almost I don't know it's just really weird feeling it felt nice I liked it I liked it a lot and yeah I can feel my feet sweating just I think about it it's always a good sign

oh it's never a good sign one of them so I I've gone off track a little bit but I remember right okay here we go here we go I remember I was sitting in the bath and I think it was around April 1990 31 years ago and I sat there as you do just looking down thinking why can't you be bigger just lying there doing nothing can't you be bigger why can't I have a big one anyway yes I was just lying there and just one extra inch and I'm just lying there and I decided

there and then there and then I want to be a comedian now what was the precursor to this okay well let's go back 1989 in the summer or should we go back further I had a little bit of an eye opener I was in class this is actually one of the easy auditorium they had some you know where the seats go up as to you know it's I don't know what we was in there for I forget I didn't take much notice of the classes or why or what we were studying or supposed to be

studying but for some reason actually not for some reason because I used to do this anyway but I became aware that I was impressing a girl with my rudeness not rude but my okay my talking back to the teacher and that that tingled my tingle it really did it got me thinking oh because I'll be honest with you nothing I was nothing in the world I wanted more than to impress a girl there wasn't anything I wanted more than to touch a boobie hold a hand kiss and or even just have the attention of a

female that was all I really asked the thing I wanted most in life not much not much has changed no but that's all I wanted when I was 12 13 14 9 8 whatever you know from pretty much all childhood up to 40 maybe no it's not all I ever wanted but at that point it was it was the world you know that girl said to me keep going Jason she knew my name she knew my name keep going now at this point the teacher just friend to send me to the headmaster this is when

this girl took notice and wanted me to keep going now I didn't like her that much to be fair I didn't want to get sent to the headmaster but she did definitely seem to enjoy me being naughty to the teacher and being verbally I don't know mildly clever I don't know what it was it might have been very unclever but you know the class laughed now I didn't care that much about the laughter I cared about a girl showing interest in me that's what I cared about that's the thing that got me interested like it

just it just piqued my interest in oh so if I say funny things on purpose then she might like me because I used to say funny without meaning to and people would laugh and I didn't like that actually so I learned to say funny things on purpose and then people laugh because I chose for them to laugh or I you know I that was my aim and then when they laughed when I said stuff that I was serious about it didn't hurt as much because I just figured well that's because they because I'm a funny

funny guy which wasn't the reason so I am it's like oh I like that so I did sort of start to go down that road a little bit like okay let's let's make girls laugh and I had no success really had no success I had yeah all through school didn't really have any success with girls and then when I left school I had a couple of girlfriends and then like nothing really until 1989 I mean literally 87 88 now wait a minute I did did I think I might have had a kind of a girlfriend

at that time but generally it was a drought worked in a supermarket oh yeah I did fall in love with someone so I forgot about it and that was we had like one you know about a 15-minute moment together but she was a lot older than me and she didn't really care about me and but I think she just felt sorry for me so she gave me a nibble and there is this one woman I say woman she was young she's I can't I don't think she could have been more than early 20s when I

was 17 and I was working in this supermarket and I remember walking down the road and she's there outside her front door and she talked to me calls me over and she started saying I want to have another kid I said what huh she said she asked me if I would father her a child this is totally true you couldn't make this up you could it's not that well he is far fetched for me but you know yeah it's quite far it's a lie that's true and see what I didn't realize is maybe what see

in that situation now because I really I fancied her and I actually became friends of her after that a little bit later on but I should have just taken her up on it because I was a virgin and I just thought wow it's an event you know it's like well that's not a reason to have a kid she wanted a kid and she was gonna have a kid with somebody and she did she did have another kid so she was gonna have another kid anyway why not why not let it be mine but I was

a little bit embarrassed because I didn't know what to do didn't I really didn't I had an idea I had yeah I definitely had an idea but I didn't know for myself kind of what to do I was very nervous about it so I turned it down I said no thanks I think you should do it with someone that you love now if that was now I'd have said yeah come on let's practice yeah just I don't know well let's discuss it let's see how not now but you know a few years later I would

have sort of yeah we'll discuss it let's just see yeah don't rush these things but I didn't and so I met a few people there was star I don't want to go into it there's some working in it was a small grocery store so it's the same people every day you know it's regulars coming in you get to know them and it's almost like that whole area just one long road seemed to be the main customers and I didn't like the job I didn't not really wasn't really my thing very boring for me person I

didn't find it interesting stacking shelves wasn't really my wasn't my goal in life at that time you know I was I didn't have any goals at all but I knew that that wasn't that wasn't my future now I may be wrong it might still be my future and I have worked in retail since then stacking shelves funny enough but it was a gift shop different different kind of thing no bread or beans involved but I remember yeah I was with a girl in the school showing an interest when I was being rude and loud showing

off and I thought oh I like this and then in 1989 I had this urge to start writing my thoughts down had an urge to buy a pad 200 page refill pad get a decent pen and just start writing my thoughts was thinking while I was doing that stuff and it was it was like bugging me for about three weeks I kept thinking about it and eventually I did it I mean you wouldn't think it need that much encouragement and thought would you just buy a pad anyway I did I bought the pad and I

started writing and I felt that something changed inside me I think I had a different sense of who I was as a person now in no way was I you know so suddenly self-aware I had an awareness of myself different how I'd experienced it before I just felt different and I started writing things down that I found mildly amusing I just got a bit distracted there had to go look out my window yep I am a curtain twitcher so at that time shortly after I started doing the writing I traveled to France just I talked

about it before but I traveled through France for about five days in the Alps and got a suntan for the first time in my life didn't blister didn't burn a little bit for the first couple of days and I went brown now people be telling me all my adult life what you gotta do is just you know you can burn for a couple of days and then you go brown or wear your suntan lotion I don't think I know my own skin I don't go brown not on my face I go red and it just

continues I'm red all year round I just go redder with the Sun my arms go brown that's it I used to blister when I was a kid proper blister you how many people have you heard get sun get sunburned the blister I was really basically a gremlin I'm a gremlin anyway I felt I I was changing I was as a person I was opening up I was feeling a bit more confident and then I got the job working as a double glazing canvasser knocking on people's doors trying to get them to have appointments for with

salesmen for their windows or the conservatories and change me even more I was suddenly knocking on people's doors doing almost doing like a stand-up routine and at that time well actually not at that time because previous to that I've been buying stand-up comedian stand-up videos so probably thinking about it I probably started buying those in 88 so I think I left them at my dad's but definitely 89 I was buying them I had loads of like all of Robin by loads he didn't have that many at the time but all of Robin Williams stand-up Steve

Martin Bill Cosby Richard Pryor lots and lots of different ones including you know quite a few English ones as well English comedians so I just came out of myself and then I moved to London because my job ended really quickly because they decided to go for radio advertising instead of us moved to London I ended up working this really low paid hard work job cold cold cold it was in there and all my creativity went no creativity at all and then but I did start to read so that's something because I've been reading for years

I've got my love of reading back so I was reading something special about reading a book it might sound weird but for me it's just something magical and I don't read storybooks I don't I don't read fiction generally I have I mean I've read loads hundreds of fiction books but generally I'd rather read something that's talking they're talking about a subject talking about something interesting or like the road less traveled I mean technically yeah it's fiction but it's not at the same time it's he's talking about his own experience of riding on a bike and

traveling or the road less traveled did I say that no the road less traveled I'm thinking the other one motorcycle and maintenance zen in the art of motorcycle maintenance the road less traveled another one the third wave was another one so that was cool but then I moved back I got away from that and I moved back to where I was living before started canvassing again and all my stuff I'd left at my dad's so all the old videos the comedy videos and all that stuff I'd left at my dad's in his storage room when

I moved to London and it's like oh it opened up it reminded me of my interest in comedy and writing and stuff so I hadn't written a word the whole time as I pull another pad and then I remembered then I just saw like I want to be a comedian I decided that April 1990 and I got another job as well which was in a big factory and every month I would go to London and buy loads of comedy albums so I had a big collection of comedy albums and videos really quite a good collection

die eventually sold which paid for me to move back to London to actually start doing comedy that was January 1991 hmm so that's it that's the story it's the I had no idea what I was gonna talk about what I was gonna do I knew that for nearly a year that that was my plan so thank you for listening so I'm gonna go I need to go to a toilet so thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye