#601 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com yeah hi my name is Jason Newland this is let me bore you to sleep oh yes i'm thinking the microphone should be a little bit closer so i'm going to move it a little bit closer that's better so did i say only listen when you can safely close your eyes i think i did if i didn't i have now yes so yeah what would i what i normally talk about i've only done 600 of these so far this is number 601 and i'm not sure what i normally do what do i normally do for

those listening also for those listening excuse me for those listening and for those watching on youtube please subscribe to my channel at the moment i've only got 531 subscribers on youtube and as you may have noticed i've started to make more new youtube videos which is something that's new really i've made well over a thousand in the past but they're gone they're uh they are in the past so they they want previous channels or previous youtube channels and although i've still got them on a hard drive and stuff i'm only going to be uploading new

recordings new videos um there are a couple of my videos that are from the past i guess everything's from the past isn't it i mean this is from the past now if you're as you're watching it but there's my most popular video and it's always been my most popular video is the try and stay awake hypnosis challenge that's been my number one video in on every single channel i've ever had yeah i think yeah yeah it has so i i've kept it on there i've kept i've left it on there it's only got about 5

000 plays but in the past it said i think it had about 150 000 at its peak on a previous channel but i'm hoping i'm hoping that if i continue to produce or film basically i'm filming the podcast that's what i'm doing i'm filming the podcast and so i'm not really doing anything different in a sense i'm just filming what i'm what i would do anyway which is this the podcast which i'm doing and i've already made two podcasts earlier today or four actually but two is two is with music and the sleep hypnosis weekly

number 68 and deep sleep whisper hypnosis number 303 i think it was now i didn't do the deep sleep whisper i didn't do either of those as videos which i'm going to in the future i'm going i plan i'm watching telly while i'm talking to you sorry you do not have my undivided attention you do not want my under you don't want it um hmm sniff sniff i i i i was talking about something i forget what it was yeah i'm planning on all of my podcasts being televised and uploading them to the youtube channel

as well as to the podcast so you know just see how it goes see what happens see how i feel and i wish i had a few better clothes to wear whilst making these recordings i've got this old thing on and a t-shirt with a it's a little stain in there you can't see it because it's covered up but i do have a quite freshly shaved head so maybe that makes up for it and i washed my balls so now that's good maybe so maybe that you know always evens out looks a bit foggy on

the side of the behind me doesn't it looks a bit foggy now i'm thinking why is that because i've got i've got a light here i've got a light from over there or the light above me i'm trying to gradually improve what i do it's a gradual process so the videos will get better the picture will be better the sound will improve as it will do with the podcast so over time i will be getting better equipment to make better videos and better podcasts the only problem is trying to find some content because i've got

none none at all none so today didn't really didn't really do a lot i mean i mean okay it's not true i did do quite a bit but a lot of my afternoon was spent uploading and i'm not sure if i'm doing it right or if i'm doing it wrong for sake well here i am again i just took a little break there and someone knocking on the door my neighbor asking me to look after his huge ginormous monster dog who has no etiquette no just he's gonna be banging the microphone fuck off sorry excuse

my language go away he's like honestly he's just a clumsy giant banging into stuff the other day I had a can of coke in my hand and he knocked the can of coke out of my hand just walked in he headbutted me but without meaning to he just walked into me he's got a tail that's like a almost like a propeller now he's huffing and puffing he's searching for Andre I put Andre in a bedroom because Andre attacks him Andre actually bites him and because he's so big and he's okay but just keep away from

the equipment sorry mind yourself mind yourself he forces himself like forces like you said he forces his head wherever he wants his head to be you're searching for Andre he's not here he's in the bedroom that's a good boy I'll give you cuddles that's it good boy good boy good boy just calm down and thanks for farting that was lovely brilliant he has the worst farts that you ever ever hear or not hear smell you can't hear him this silent but they are bad really really bad smelliest horriblest farts that you'll ever experience so the

video is buggered all that setting up the lighting the video is going okay and then I don't know doing it on the camera to be fair I think if I was going to edit it I could have I could have just stopped it and then recorded another video and then just spliced them together now we just lay down on the floor it's taken up half the floor he's what he does quite often is he walks under the table and he unplugs things pulls wires out I'm surprised the microphone is still working blessing I wasn't expecting

that it's annoying I like to plan I like to plan what I'm gonna do and things like that I like to plan interruptions because they're no longer interruptions if they're planned so he's he's a good boy he's a good boy just keep away from the equipment please mate I mean at least of Andre he will make some noise and he'll you know do his thing with his girlfriend and he'll perhaps be you know squashing a carrier bag for an hour he doesn't really disrupt the recording in the same way as this huge elephant dog he

is huge he's got a head his head's bigger than a human's head and I don't know if it's true but he is when he's when he treads on your toes it hurts and he doesn't like other dogs he loves attention from people but if a dog comes near him he goes into fight mode he fights them which I think which there's a chance that he was bred like when it cuz he's a he's a rescue dog so when he was originally born as a baby maybe he was bred to be a fighting dog and that's

why he's when he sees another dog he goes into fight mode he gets you know can't change him that's just how he is but he's brilliant with kids brilliant with humans very very loving and gentle but another dog oh no oh no no no so he is really good of Andre but keep away from the microphone get get out from under the table you it's what I'll do now is if you decide you just want to walk under the other table he'll knock everything over he's not gonna might he's knocking a table now winds me

up and yes so with Andre, Andre bites him he doesn't just bite him he sneaks up and bites him and the natural reaction I think for any dog is to react to that and if this dog reacts then Andre's in trouble because he's so big when Andre will fight anyone Andre's not scared of anything but reality is he's a tiny little thing he's like a scrappy-doo he you know so he can hold his own generally can he often does now he can hold his own but he wouldn't back down but it's ridiculous I mean the

only reason he gets away with biting the doggy here is because the doggy here allows him to do it but I put myself in the dog's shoes in a sense although he doesn't wear shoes if I was asleep and that ferret bit me on the feet or on the nose or wherever there's a chance I'm gonna bite him back if I'm a dog and there's a big difference to it and things Andre doesn't it doesn't bite hard he doesn't he can bite hard but he doesn't bite by the dog hard he nips him and it's

a game he loves playing they love each other they actually love each other but I can't let them they can't let them be together because if it was I think if it was for Andre, if Andre behaved the dog would be happy they cuddle up to him and they'd play and run and chase each other he'd be happy they'd both be happy the only thing is because he's so big if he if he stepped on Andre, Andre might squash but that would be an accident he wouldn't mean to do it but at the same time

Andre's he's quite squashy anyway he's pretty able to handle that so I'd like to have seen them cuddle you know just because they do they want to spend time with each other they get excited see the dog he lives downstairs he's always trying to get upstairs to come and come and see Andre and Andre when I'm out of him he tries to get downstairs he tries to go to the dog's flat to see him but they can't be trusted it's a shame it's a similar thing with my friend had a ferret who was Andre's uncle

so I had Andre as a baby my friend had Andre's uncle as a baby you know it's like five years earlier or four years earlier or something and my friend's ferret or Andre's uncle would because there was two of the boys there's Andre and his brother the brother and they were both such a handful together did not stop fighting constant constant it's funny to watch but very constant and Andre's uncle well both of their uncles I guess kept picking Andre up and put taking him to the other side of the room putting him down picking

the other one up and separating them and you know telling them off it was brilliant with them and then when Andre I kept Andre and the other one went to a different home once Andre got a little bit bigger he'd keep trying to fight his uncle and now Andre's trying to get out of the bedroom banging the door bloody hell really do not need this at quarter past one in the morning things are going so well I'm trying to be professional here trying to make recordings and stuff so it doesn't happen very often so I

was just just chill out plus if I'm making a podcast I can just press pause and any like knocking on the door I can edit that out I suppose I could have done that with the video I couldn't pause it but I could have carried on making a video and just edited it but I just didn't want to I didn't want to spend too much time editing the video just wanted to just upload it and then progress towards doing more in a way of editing the videos because the editing of the audio is you know

quite a bit of takes a fair bit of well a huge amount of time but the most time-consuming part is the uploading funny enough actually uploading the recordings to the podcasts you can take a good I must have spent about two hours doing that this afternoon just uploading it's it's a little bit in okay it's easier now that it was now I've got the the mobile phone data which I'm using as a hotspot for the iPad so I can upload it doesn't always upload so I think it might be a a Spreaker issue might be

it doesn't maybe I'm uploading too many they're not used to people producing as much as what I produce however it doesn't disconnect the Internet with the with the with the data the telephone data the mobile data so I can just re-upload it and it's fine when I use the broadband data it cuts it off and then I have to restart the whole router and sometimes that takes 10 minutes plus or 15 sometimes it's waiting for it to get back on again so that's you know that adds another sometimes another hour to the process so you

think that I'm saving myself an hour every day it's 30 hours a month 360 hours a year of just uploading sitting there trying to upload stuff that's a lot of time saved so it's like okay it's costing me 28 pounds a month but that's I'm saving myself you know that's a pound for every it's cost me a pound for every hour I save which is pretty good I think if you look at it that way it's definitely a positive speed isn't it I've got a message from Ryan hi Ryan this is a it's not a

message doesn't say hi Ryan this is hi Jason love your podcasts listen all the time bore you to sleep are the best keep up the great work mate glad Andre is okay too thank you so take care thank you Ryan Ryan just added me a face friend face friend Facebook friend and so I just accepted so that's really cool thanks right I'm glad that you you like my stuff my stuff I can't believe I've done 600 let me bore you to sleep recordings I mean this was an experiment you know really you know I mean

I've been doing podcasts for a long long time but I never really classed them as podcasts if that makes any sense even though there were podcasts they they weren't sequential it was just whatever I did so I'd ever either podcasts SoundCloud for example is one that I've been using or that I did use for probably 8 to 10 years and different I had a few different podcasts with SoundCloud and you know if I did a relaxation session I'd upload it there if I did a sleep session I'd upload it a pain relief session I'd upload

it so it's just whatever I produced but there's no apart from when I did a course like a seven-day cure insomnia course or 30 day relaxation plan so I did those kind of stuff so that would be sequential but there would be uploaded all at the same time and what was the other one I used to use there was what was it called this is terrible there was one it's still around and it had its own audience this podcast so what I did is you could have three podcasts but you only had a certain amount

of space maybe 500 megabytes or something like that to you know to plug it in if you wanted more you need to pay you know different amounts you know to the point where you could have as many as much as you want but that had cost quite a bit of money every month and I had a few podcasts on there I had one which was everything and I used to get well yesterday or today 6192 downloads yeah I used to get thousands thousands of downloads a day I think on that one or loose track but

you see it was quite quite a good amount I was surprised and most of those people coming from the actual podcast itself like the podcast audience that they had rather than through iTunes or that kind of stuff but then I had other podcasts I uploaded how the seven-day cure insomnia and the 30-day relaxation plan I fitted those on to two different podcasts and they were free and I just left them and this was back in 2011 at 2015 when I moved in here I just had a look at them because I forgot all about them

I just uploaded them and that's it and between them there was about 340 thousand downloads between the two podcasts in that time couldn't believe it honestly some episodes like 22,000 downloads just for one episode because bearing in mind the seven-day cure insomnia seven days seven episodes and the 30-day one it means that one had about a hundred and maybe a hundred and twenty thousand and the other one hundred and eighty fair I don't know but it was one had more than the other but it's over 300,000 for between the two and I was so surprised

and they were connected to iTunes and Spotify wasn't didn't do podcasts at that point and then I I don't know why I don't know why I do some things I deleted them I deleted these podcasts and then I thought why did I do that it was so lovely because I mean unless you know I suppose they might they had the right to delete them themselves but they probably wouldn't not with that amount of listens and downloads because they could advertise I guess he huffs and puffs the weirdest dog I've ever known very strange he huffs

the hell was that some banging hmm so I was very loud unless I'm being loud I don't think I am I'm talking really quietly now I'm gonna whisper ah whisper I wonder how many ever got up to now though because it's been five years since then or six years now isn't it the weird thing about it is I relaunched it and I made another two podcasts and exactly the same put the same stuff on and nobody listens to them but somebody was listening because you know to get that many I mean I don't get 22,000

downloads for any of my podcast episodes I mean I might do if I left them if I just did one you know if I if I left my podcast and just stopped making any and left them on there so people all they had was to listen to the last 250 then maybe I would get you know much larger amounts of listens because there'd be nothing else available you know no new stuff but when you produce new stuff people do listen to old you know the old stuff as well but it kind of Peter away a

little bit Peter Peter away Peter away Piter away I guess it's not that they're not irrelevant I mean enough it's never these oh he's dreaming his little paws going hey I wonder what he's dreaming about we're doing about a headbutt in my knee or something he's very loving dog it's just it's just too big to have a big dog you need to have a big space it's just physics it might not be physics but just practical kind of a big dog in a small space it doesn't it's not yeah I mean apparently the woman that

lived here before me had three great Danes and this scratch this scratch marks up every single door where the guests they were scratching to get out the doors and stuff I thought a werewolf had lived there but it turns out there's a three great Danes living in a little flat like this and trust me this flat gets smaller every time you know add a big dog the room gets smaller add three big dogs this room this room would just feel absolutely minute that's why I like it when it's just only me here it just feels

airy airy nor scary but airy I'm annoyed at the video not working I wanted that video I'd spent ages getting that video just right or the picture the lighting I'm such a baby such a little baby so what's the date now it's the 22nd Monday 22nd of February I know technically it's Tuesday hell I'll just make this Tuesday's if it's if it's close to midnight I'll put it in as the day before but I'm going to because far as I'm concerned it's still Monday so this is Monday and I'll do one tomorrow night yeah so

there it's Monday 22nd still of February 2021 God you remember being 21 it's a while ago 21 blimey 21 I would say my 21st year was quite a good year stop puffing he's asleep he can't help it it's still annoying though shut up Andre's even noisier though Andre's like it snores and everything Andre does when he's asleep although Andre's new thing is sleeping in the bedroom in the corner of the bedroom in a tube it's like a special ferret tube that he's got that he can and he's he crawls in there and he sleeps and

he spent all day in there for the last two days hardly seen him and he sleeps right in the corner it's near the radiator and he seems happy he comes in says hello as it all play I give him a cuddle and stuff but he's definitely sort of seems quite happy doing what he's doing I haven't done my tennis ball in me um bum not me bum me me back I haven't stuck it in me back I better do that now I tell you what's weird is the part of my back that oh that's it

got it I was gonna say the part of my back that used to hurt doesn't hurt anymore when I press the tennis ball into it but it does but I think because I was I think I was overdoing it a little bit and I was starting to bruise my lower back a little bit by pressing the tennis ball continuously into the same area yeah that's alright so although I went for a little walk earlier and my back felt okay so I guess it's gonna depend and I wasn't carrying anything which is good sometimes I'll carry

something especially from lopsided so if I'm carrying even if it's not you know necessarily heavy if it's just one side I can feel pressure on my lower back that's why if I am carrying something I like to have two bags and then try to even the weight out so I'm like I guess not really like a seesaw but a balanced scale maybe talking about scales I need to weigh myself because I tried to put my trousers on the other day well I did put them on but I couldn't so well I did put them on

so I also could but okay let me tell you what happened is I I put the trousers on so you know still got my legs and everything that's that works so the holes for my legs work I go to do them up at the waist and there's a clip and then there's a button so there's two things and then this is it for the the willy hole so so I've got the I couldn't I could get to do the button up I couldn't get to do the clip up no amount of breathing in could I

get to do the clip up and I personally think I've lost weight I feel like I've lost a bit of weight the dog has just farted the most disgusting stink he always never sleeps with his head towards you it's always his face in there honestly that's how he sleeps it's really bad that's not gonna be good for my lungs oh thing is I'm gonna take him for a walk and he you know he does his business outside and it stinks really stinks and I mean what usually my friends my friends got him and he picks

up the the poo because I don't pick up unless I have to but if I'm looking after him then I've got to do it you know obviously I can't just leave it and I think the last time I looked after him I bent down and I ripped my trousers open like the bum area my trousers were ripped so I got two pairs of trousers but I did have two pairs of trousers the other one is now Andre's, Andre sleeps in them really just so I'm thinking maybe I put a bit of weight on I didn't

realize but I personally think that I've lost weight but then my trousers seem to disagree with me oh yeah so he goes to the toilet in the park and what I do is I hold the lead while my friend picks it up and I pull it along so he can you know so because otherwise he he kicks both his legs behind him and when he does that I've seen him do it actually and push stones and they go flying to the other side of the park that's how strong his legs are in fact one there's

one he did I think it was yesterday and it's not landed yet still in the air so the thing about it is I don't want to be crude or anything but the the dispenser the hole the dispenser the place where the where the sausages get get you know before it lands on the grass it gets dispensed from the dispenser the thing is for some reason it's still open and I'm walking next to him and even as I'm walking down I can still smell it it's like really bad it's really it's almost like he's airing himself

out like he's opened a window like his own personal window he's opened it up I suppose it's equivalent to have an extractor fan in the bathroom yeah bless him I mean Andre Andre was getting a little bit excited earlier because having the doggy up here he was starting to I think get ready to let off a stink so he gets he loses control a little bit of his bodily functions sometimes when he gets really excited it's not his fault he's just he's excitable so he has to go and do a wee or whatever he's not

banging on the bedroom door anymore which is nice but yeah I did some recordings today and I'm quite surprised that I've actually done 303 episodes or recordings of the deep sleep whisper hypnosis 303 that's a lot I mean that is the second most recordings in a podcast that I've done apart from this one there's quite a lot in it quite a lot but it's good I'm looking forward to being able to do those with a bit better quality sound than I currently do because the whispering part is the I don't it might be the software

or I don't know but I'm not hugely pleased with the results of those recordings as I'd like to be I'd like them to be better quality you keep talking about quality all the time what's your problem what's wrong with just using a videotape recorder like he used to I never used a videotape recorder although I did when I was at school or even when I was in my 20s I used to use videotape recorders to record myself can you believe it I used to do pretty much what I'm doing now when I was a kid

I talk into the video recorder I'd have a I'd have a microphone with a wire connected to it you press play and record at the same time and I talk rubbish and I do silly voices of course I wouldn't make it hard to believe that childish thing also as an adult I wouldn't do such a thing yeah but it's almost like I've turned full circle perhaps I knew what I wanted to do from a very early age but didn't realize that that was my future and I didn't discover it till how old was I when

I first started doing these let me pull you to sleeps three years ago so what 47 47 years old from the age of when I started doing those recordings at home probably 11 so all those years I mean I used to do recordings when I was in my teens and also when I was in my early 20s as well doing silly things but yeah who thought that end up just talking about nothing at all nowt zero zit whoosh I don't know what whoosh means I can't think of any other words for nowt he's just done

the stinkiest fart in the history of it farts oh oh my nostrils are burning oh man oh I'm covering my face up with my t-shirt right and even my stinky pits like a nice relief compared to his little bum explosions I mean I don't I imagine I imagine if you live with a dog you get used to the smell of the farts you don't notice it anymore you know because I don't spend that much time with him I notice it Andre I know I don't know it's people say he stinks I don't notice it to

be fair people don't generally say that to me but they you know there's a general consensus that ferrets are stinky I don't smell him I smell him when he lets a proper stink off which is really rare but it's usually when he's angry or frustrated or maybe sometimes a bit excited you know if he saw another ferret which he has a couple of times he loses it and he lets off a stink naturally and if he's in so in the summer he loves going into the fields because he can smell stuff that sends him wild

honestly he runs runs like sniffs up in the air and he runs looking for whatever it is that he can smell there's a real you know I quite like that I quite like seeing him like that because at this time of year he's so cathartic doesn't cathartic lethargic not cathartic lethargic it's a different word completely he's so cathartic he just almost I feel healed so emotionally healing he's so lethargic you know and although he can be annoying when he's full of energy to the point of scratching at the front door to try and get out

in the middle of the night and I'll pick him up and he keeps going back and doing it and he won't listen to me that can be really annoying because I'm you know I don't want my neighbors to be disturbed but it's nice to see him full of energy anyway I'm gonna go thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye