#596 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is let me bore you to sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. So I am recording this podcast also as a video which will be hopefully on YouTube but it depends if I could do the editing thing you know.

So hope you're well hope you're doing all right. Today is Tuesday the 16th of February 2021. Andre is making some very weird noises for some reason.

He is I realize I'm not in the centre of the picture. Never mind ah well no Oscars going to me then eh. So yeah for those that have not watched or listened to any of my podcasts the this might be weird I guess I don't know.

Although it may seem like this is the first time I've done one based on my current performance at this moment. The fact is I've been doing that a long long time. And this let me bore you to sleep is I'm nearly getting to 600 I think.

Let me just see how many have I done. How many have I done so far. I've done 595 let me bore you to sleep recordings.

So this is 596. So I've been doing it for a while a while. The very first recording I did for these was the 27th of March 2018.

So coming up to three years that's the first let me bore you to sleep podcast I did. And yeah it changed quite a bit I think over the years. I mean the very first one I did was pretty much a hypnosis recording.

I'm a little bit worried about the weird sounds that are coming from him. Andre you all right mate? Andre you okay? Andre sometimes he gets stuck like his nails get stuck in stuff and he can't get away from the thing you know but he'd normally make a big fuss so I'd go over and help him. I just I don't know he makes weird noises.

By the way Andre is my son. I no longer keep him in a cage so I would say that I've progressed as a father. He's a ferret by the way just you know in case you was wondering in case you thought he's got a child and he keeps the child in a cage.

No I don't it's a human it's a ferret it's not a human or miniature human being. It's a full-size ferret. So what do I do in these podcasts? That's a good question isn't it? What do I do? Why why do I do what I do when I do what I do? The why is not sure and these glasses even though I've got the light on quite low I might need to have it on brighter in the future but because look look how it's shining in my glasses.

I'll put the fly up really high so even though I'm quite low down in the picture solely so that I can reduce the glare of the big white circle thing. But it don't matter if it's you know I don't know what else to do. I wear glasses you know it's if I was in a wheelchair I'd be sitting in a wheelchair I wouldn't be trying to walk around to make the recording you know so I'm not going to make myself blind by taking my glasses off and doing a recording.

I want to be able to still see. It doesn't matter so much when I'm making hypnosis sessions because I've got my eyes closed most of the time. However I prefer to wear glasses.

I'll shave my head. That might be like a bit of a pointless statement to make for those watching the video but those listening on the podcast because there'll be a lot more people listening on the podcast and will be watching the video at this time unless the YouTube channel grows and I make regular recordings and you know stop talking weirdly and become normal. Maybe I'll get an audience especially if I stop spitting when I talk.

So yeah I shaved my head but I missed a bit out. I'll let you see look. Oh I don't know if I can move around.

Why can't I move around? If you can see this I forgot you know sometimes you're in the middle of something. You know it's easy to make mistakes. You know you're in the middle of surgery and you forgot to you forget to put the heart back into the chest and just silly things like that.

There you go look. Yep forgot to shave the back of my head. Shaved all of it the rest of it.

Yeah we can see that we're watching the video. We can you know but for people listening on the podcast. Yeah yeah yeah yeah.

So I'm recording this so if you can if you're watching the video you can see I've got a microphone here. So whenever I cough I'm going to edit it out of both the audio and the video. So you'll see me and I'll be like this.

Suddenly I'll be like this and I'll be in a different movement like a lot of videos on YouTube. I don't know who told people that that was a good idea. You know what would be a good idea if you say a sentence and you literally use seven different outtakes just to get that sentence together and leave no space at all between words or paragraphs sentences etc.

And it's not real. I'm sorry maybe it's that I'm too slow and I am slow. Now when I say slow it's not about being unintelligent.

It's just be really it just means I'm really really clever but quite often too late. So you know I'll be very quick but slow at the same time. So it's not until I get home that I come back with a witty comeback you know for someone that said something rude.

Might be three or four days later and I think yeah but what about your mum? You know it's uh I shaved my back. So it could be maybe my brain is so slow that I can't process fast stuff. Maybe maybe but I have moments when I'm quite fast too.

I'm not just talking about love making. I'm talking I do. I talk I talk fast sometimes.

I do. I really do. Not often but it has happened.

Yeah I'm not one dimensional. I'm about one and two-thirds dimensional. I didn't realize what weird faces I made.

Strange. So you don't get the benefit of that. Mine do.

I'm wondering if anyone would actually ever listen to me if they could see what I look like. I had some lady comment. She said, oh you sound really nice.

You sounded really nice on the podcast till I saw your video on YouTube and I saw what you really looked like. It just ruined it for me. No she didn't say that but she implied it.

It was the implication. Implication. It was a subtle mmm there you know.

A subtle whiff of disgust of oh you're a middle-aged man. You sound like a young a young fellow on your voice when I listen to you. You've got that you're going to have that middle-aged middle-aged man smell aren't you? Mmm you're gonna smell bit of bit of wee.

I can smell a bit of urine can't I? Yes. Are you 50? By chance? Oi stop being so rude. Not all 50 year olds smell of wee wee.

I happen to but not everybody does. It's all to do with whether or not you wash. All change around depends more than once a month.

So my plan is my plan. It's a plan. It might not be a good plan but it's a plan anyway is to is to perhaps make more YouTube videos.

Andre. Andre often guffs. He lets off a stink sometimes.

I think I think some people I think some people um I think some people listening on the podcast think it's me but it's not. It's not me. Oh god that smells worse than a fart.

I thought deodorant was supposed to last for a week. I also do hypnosis recall. I do.

Yeah I'm also quite professional. I do for those that don't know what I do. Is this disturbing me? Rocking.

We're not I'm not so much rocking the chair I'm swiveling it from side to side. Yeah but it's quiet. It not squeak.

It not squeak. So I don't know how hypnotized you feel right now. So this this this this thing.

Not much hand movement going on is there. You don't realize it is that my hands like that. I'm all that all the time.

I'm kind of like that but because my arms just can't be bothered to move them. So I'm just moving my hands but you can't see them. It's kind of like I've been tied to the chair and I'm just trying to do sign language or something.

But wait. The first recording I did of the Let Me Bore You To Sleep was a hypnosis session. It was.

It was a hypnosis session. And I can't believe I just looked into the phone because I'm recording this on the phone. And I thought what's that on my shelf? That big red box with a clock on it.

It's like it's the timer on the screen. Oh I discovered because on my PC the computer. I've been researching actually not just you know just generally I've been researching.

Hi look at me from this angle. Look at me square on. I don't know if I'd want to look like Brad Pitt.

But I imagine life would be a little bit easier. I saw Johnny Depp the other day. They were doing the impeachment hearing thing for what's his name that used to be president of America.

Yeah so I think yeah I can't remember his name but I can't remember the names of all the presidents of the world you know and it's there's so many different countries in there. I can't keep track of them all. There's hundreds of countries hundreds of presidents and prime ministers.

There's there's more families in more than one country. I don't know. There's a few more families isn't there.

How am I supposed to remember all of them. So whoever was president. Yeah because we don't have president in the UK of England Commonwealth Britain.

We have prime minister. Which you know I think just exactly the same. So I don't know why we don't have a president.

I don't know. My guess it is prime minister is probably. I'm guessing America because the prime minister in England was in charge of America at one point.

Because England owned America. We we had the rules and you know we everything was pretty much centrally controlled in Westminster. Which was the problem because America were not looked after by the British government.

They were not looked after. They were not given what they needed. They were not given the resources.

So just like any child who's not looked you know they'll leave at the very first chance they can. They'll be gone. That's what happened to America.

I think pretty much England Britain mistreated their favourite son America. I'm going to start singing the national anthem in a minute. No I'm not.

We don't do that here. Yeah America has taken on a lot of its own stuff. I don't really know the history behind where some of those practices came from.

But remember America is a very young country. It's basically an infant compared to the rest of the world. I mean there are younger countries.

There's some countries that keep changing their name every time a new president gets in. You know depending on which guerrilla force gets in next. We're changing the name back.

But I've only got used to it being this now. No we're changing it back. We don't like that name.

So yeah countries like that I just ignore. It's like come on. Just you know contact us when you've decided on a name at least.

If you can't even decide on a name how are you ever supposed to have peace man. So see I've got no idea. I'm just making it up as I go along.

See America we don't... So president maybe there were other presidents of other countries and America wanted to be different from Britain. You know we've been moving away so they thought let's have a president instead. I might be wrong.

I don't know. I don't care either. But the yeah it's very very different.

I mean I've not been to America and I'd love to go because I think it'd be funny to just go. It'd be I mean I'm you know imagine going somewhere that you've only ever seen on telly. It's funny isn't it.

It's like I want to go to Boston or something. I want to go to New York. I want to go to Phoenix.

I'd like to go to Los Angeles. I'd like to go to where's that other place Niagara Falls or is that in Canada. Or it goes between America and Canada.

I don't know. I don't care. But I think it'd be fun.

Fun and funny. It'd be just great. It'd be brilliant.

That's what I think. Because it'd be weird though. America has there's so many iconic places that in movies are connected with violence.

So places that I'd like to go to. Give an example a motel. We don't really have motels here.

We do but we don't really. You know not like in America and it's a cliche in films and in movies isn't it. And I don't know if it's if they are as prevalent as is in movies.

But the whole kind of you drive up and you got the motel rooms and there's the ice machine outside. Maybe a snack machine. Maybe even a pool that people can swim.

And the rooms are kind of all the same and so many movies have used those motels. For horrible stuff. In horror movies and gangster movies and all kinds of stuff like that.

So it'd be weird to actually be in one. And I don't know if I'd get any sleep. I'd probably be too worried that someone's going to jump break in with a gun or something.

Where have you stashed the jewels or something like that. And then a diner. I'd like to go to a diner.

Not an American diner. A diner whilst in America. Because no longer an American diner.

It's just a diner. Otherwise everything I'm going to sit down at this American table. I'm going to walk on this American pathway.

I'm going to look at that American tree. You don't really need to remind yourself all the time that you're in a country that you're in. Unless you're really dim.

Really forgetful. Really not really kind of there. You know in your brain like I've done where am I? Oh which country I'm in.

Like someone's gonna have kidnapped you in your sleep. And taken you to Beirut or Japan or China or Scotland or somewhere like that. And so in England we don't feel the need to walk down the street going England England.

During the World Cup yeah. During the World Cup England England. We do.

That's the only time you'll find really. Maybe rugby but I don't know. But football you know proper football.

English. I know some people may call it soccer but you're incorrect. It's football.

You mean soccer and all football. And not American football. Although you don't call it American football do you? You call it football.

I'm surprised you don't call it. I'm surprised America don't call it American football. Surprised they actually call it American football.

What surprises me what amazes me is. And it might not be real. It might just be the news making it up.

But the amount of things I see because I'm a fan of America. And I'm you know I just like to go there and stuff. But the one thing that really just confuses me is when I see.

People walking down the street shouting USA USA USA. I mean that's a weird form of Tourette's or something. I mean they remind me.

I can understand I used to do a similar thing when I was about two or three. A B C A B C 1 2 3. Can I have a cookie mum? I counted to three. Well done well well well done Jason you can have a cookie.

But don't eat too many because you don't want to get it onto your shirt. You know you don't want to get your shirt all chocolatey before you get to work. Yes but U S I U S I U S I. What is that about? I understand if you're in another country.

Makes sense you know you're celebrating you're at a sporting event. And you're so you're supporting your own country. You know America.

America America. I thought that'd be when I have U.S. I suppose it's catchier easier to remember. But normally repetition is done for memory done for for us in order to remember stuff.

Repetition so that we don't forget. And there's a lot of things that we do repetitiously. Specifically because it makes life easier.

Like getting out of bed. Walking to the toilet. Going to the toilet.

Brushing your teeth. You know whatever order of things that you do. I'm spitting again.

Whatever you know it's like you know. I'm making you coffee or tea. You put the tea bag in or you put the water in first tea bag in after.

Whatever weird way that's important to you. And you know you just do it in a certain order. But you don't think about it.

You just do it like when you do your shoelaces up. You don't think about or the right thing goes over there. And then there's a loop.

And then the left one goes underneath. And then the right one goes over again. And I pull them apart.

Oh it's like a little bow like a little bow. Oh nice. Oh it's too tight.

So there's automatic repetition so that we don't have to think about what it is. So why what's with the USA? USA. I mean to me if you turn down the volume and you mask out the flags so you couldn't see the flags.

That could be like any phonetical place. Any like phonetics walking down the street. You know it's like wow very fanatical.

Not a big fan of phonetics. I think yeah I think we've seen too much of that haven't we sort of over the years. Too much of that blinkered black and white thinking.

And seeing the results of that. The results of having people in charge that also had that kind of thinking. Reactionary people.

Now you know I can't imagine imagine having a reactionary president. What would that be like? Someone that reacted to every single thing that happened. Every single comment they'd get reacting.

Oh that'd be weird. Would it be weird though? Would it though? See over here right we don't get phonetical. Really about politics or about politicians.

You know the whole kind of loving our prime minister or hating the prime minister. You know there's no divide there. Everyone pretty much thinks that the politicians are knobheads.

We know they are. You know it's kind of just accepted that they're a bit they're a bit dicky. They're a bit dumb.

We know they're out for themselves generally and we just make do with the best of the worst. As it were and we also know that they're going to be gone. You know prime minister will be gone in four years probably three years.

At the very latest eight years they don't normally last for more than eight years normally. But four years is a nice amount and they're gone. All the other politicians underneath the prime minister at some point get found doing something weird.

Something dodgy. Some kind of. What do you get found lying? See they all lie but some get caught.

They're the ones that get in trouble. So we don't trust our politicians. So I don't know if in America you trust your politicians and that's why you get.

I'm not I'm sure not everybody is interested in the politics of their president stuff in America. But I'm just going by what I've seen on the internet. On Facebook how people will willingly they'll say something like I've seen the same thing posted.

For the same for the complete opposite thing. Basically if you're a fan of Trump. You're no longer a friend of mine on Facebook or any other way.

And or if you don't follow Trump. Then don't follow me. It's that kind of.

We don't have that here. I don't think there's one person. Seriously I mean seriously.

I don't think it's one person. Do whatever post. If you don't follow.

I can't even say that laughing. If you don't follow Boris. If you don't love Boris Johnson.

Then we're no longer friends. Not even his own family would post that. We don't have those kind of emotions connected with these idiots.

That pretend to run the country. Because we know that they don't know what they're doing. Because we know that we don't know what we're doing.

And we know on one level that they're probably doing their best. Doing what they can. And we also know that they're probably doing a much better job than most of us could do.

Most people wouldn't admit to that. I'll admit to it. I don't know the first thing about you know.

I'm just not a good liar. You need to be a good liar. I think to be a politician.

I think you need to be a good liar. You also need to. Think of yourself as being important.

So there's a lot of people out there that could pull that off. A lot of people that think that they're important. I don't mean in a sense of self-esteem.

I'm talking like you know I'm really important. I know so many paranoid people. So I follow some mental health mental illness groups on Facebook.

And sometimes I come across somebody that's posting about their paranoia. And paranoia is horrible. It's you know it's an awful awful thing.

Serious. It can be extremely serious. Probably possibly more so for other people than for themselves.

Due to the potential behavior. You know if that person really believes that everybody is out to get them. Literally.

You know that's that's a horrible situation waiting to happen. And they need locking up. But they need looking after as well.

Caring. Treatment. But they need taken away from society.

As soon as possible. If they're that bad. But they won't be taken away from society generally until they do something awful.

Because that's the way the mental health system works here. Seriously. You can tell if you could phone up your psychiatrist in this country and tell them that you've had an argument with someone and you want to kill them.

You want to smash them to bits. They won't do nothing. They'll say please don't do that.

There's no support for people that are in that frame. To help them to not do it. Not here.

And. It's weird. It's a weird one.

And I've tested it out. I've tested this theory out. It's very strange.

Anyway. This is just a happy chat isn't it. USA! USA! I think it's better to keep doing this until their heads pop.

So understand it if you're in another country and you're representing your country. But you're having like a rally. Black Lives Matter rally.

And then you've got the opposite. The white supremacists or whatever. And all you hear is USA! USA! What does that even mean? You know this.

Weird. I don't know. It's just I find it strange.

It's like don't you know where you're from? Are you reminding yourself? Is that why you've got flags? Where do you live? Yeah I live over there where the flag is. Which flag? I mean understand. Put something outside your house to remind you where you live.

But not which country you're in. Surely you don't need to be reminded which country you're in. In this country right.

In England. Flags come out. Sporting events.

As I said football. I don't know about rugby. Don't follow it.

But maybe rugby as well. But various sporting events when a country's playing another country. Even Olympics as well.

Stuff like that. But really during a World Cup or European Cup football. And people sometimes they'll put flags in their windows and stuff like that.

Oh the coronations another time. Royal weddings. You know things like that.

Or if a royal baby's being popped out. They might there might be like flags and you know. Bunting really.

I think that's what it's called. But generally outside of those times. If you put a flag or wear a flag or.

A lot of the population think that you're a Nazi. That you're a race. You know that's what they.

That's kind of the connection between the Union Jack. Or the whatever. What is it? St. Christopher? St. George.

St. George isn't it? Yeah that's a real person. Yeah he killed killed a dragon. Yeah yeah that's real.

Of course he did. Of course he did. Yep.

Was he friends with the one from Ireland that got rid of all the snakes? Yeah they were best buddies. So. England.

England. England. England.

England. England. During a football I'd do it myself.

England. Or Spain. Hispania.

If I was in the wrong section. You know but I'd join in. That's what I'm saying.

Oh but there's a weird weird. Even in boxing right. Even boxing in America.

So you've got African fighter. Against a German fighter or Mexican fighter. It's a world title.

The contender. You know the the champion goes into the ring second. Unless of course he's like a superstar.

He gets to do whatever he wants. So the challenger. He has his national anthem.

Or her national anthem sung. Either played music or someone comes into the ring and sings. Really badly.

And then. The champion. So let's say the Mexican.

This is a generalization. But Mexicans. Are pretty damn good at boxing.

So they've got a history. What you're saying Africans not able to do. No I'm not saying that at all.

Africa yeah. Every country is brilliant. I love every country.

Boxers brilliant. But. Mexicans.

For some reason. They. You know in some ways they rule boxing.

Especially the lower weights at times. It's just in the same way that. Africans.

Rule. Marathons and long distance running. For some reason.

They've got that. There's there's something in the water. In parts of Africa where.

Runners can just run. And run and run and run. They must have like Duracell batteries.

It's amazing. See other countries we've all got all got a kind of. I know it's a very generalization thing but.

For some reason and I don't really get it. England. Cycling and rowing.

Rowing. Rowing. I mean cycling and rowing.

Two things that are not really available generally. You can't say you can cycle on the roads but it's dangerous. So.

You know. Rowing. Where.

When we're going to row. But. We are the best in the world.

Generally. At cycling and rowing England. Or is it Britain I don't know.

In Olympic games is it England or Britain. Spanish. Spain.

I know. China and Russia. Are the gymnastics the best at gymnastics.

As a generalization. So yeah I'm saying it's not picking on a. I'm saying it's a positive. It's a it's a compliment.

It might not be a compliment. It's. What other countries.

America. Actually. Jamaica.

Jamaica's been very. Produced a lot of really good runners. Yeah a lot of good short distance runners.

Yeah. Not well I don't know marathons as well maybe but like running. Boxing.

One of the top boxing countries. Amateur. Is.

What Eastern Europe. Is one of the. Where is it.

Actually this isn't is it anyway there's a couple of countries that really I mean all countries are good when it comes to boxing. It's about America. England.

Russia. France. You know every every country produces.

Great boxers. And I guess really. Even if someone isn't.

Like great. Every country. Gets to gets to put one person.

Into Olympics. I don't know how it works but. So that person might end up.

Being in the Olympics but not being very good. But because there perhaps there's only three boxers in that country. They got picked.

I don't know. What is the. There's a country right that's well known for producing over the years some really.

Really well. Olympic gold medalists in boxing. And the at the time when Muhammad Ali was around.

Boxing. They offered this. The country is going to come to me probably when I finished the recording but they offered him a million dollars to fight Ali.

Because he was the two-time Olympic gold medalist this bloke. So they offered him a million pounds. And he said no.

Because I don't know if he would be allowed to do it because of his country I'm not sure if he wasn't allowed to turn professional. But he was a hero in his own country because of what it accomplished it's amazing to watch win an Olympic gold twice. Once is like.

Okay most of us have done it once but twice. Wow. And he.

I can't remember the country not Portugal. But in recent years be a lot of Eastern European countries producing world champions. Yeah world champion boxers as well as amateurs like gold medalists.

Double double gold. There's a couple. A couple of.

Double Olympians. As weird I watched this the other day right. Says it's not just knocked the.

The camera. I was watching this box in the other day right and this is bloke never heard of him before. Boxer unbeaten.

He's 35 years old. Had. 16 fights won all of them maybe more maybe 20 fights but anyway.

Double Olympian. Double Olympian I think got bronze the first time and silver the second. Something like that he might have even got gold the first time but he was a double Olympian.

But he didn't get gold twice so they didn't like really make that much of a big deal about him. And they were writing him off. This is unbeaten.

Double Olympian. Champion or you know. Medal winner.

And. Unbeaten as a professional. And they were writing him off against this younger.

You know 23 year old prospect. Who they wanted to win and they expected to win. And this 35 year old.

Double Olympian medalist. Gave him a boxing lesson. And no matter what he did they were still like oh he's too old though basically.

It doesn't fit the criteria of what they want they want a young exciting explosive. You know young exciting boxer. Preferably American.

To. You know. To go on to do amazing things I don't want a middle aged man.

From. I don't know if he was from Portugal or from somewhere like that. Brilliant boxer absolutely brilliant.

Like world world level boxer. But they didn't they weren't writing him because he's too old. If he's too old there's been world champions at 49 years old.

49 he's 35. He said yeah that's a special person. To win medals at two different Olympics that's pretty special.

That's something that not many people have done. Boxing wise. Because there's a short you know it's not a huge.

Lifespan for amateur boxers. When you consider I think. You can't fight after being 32 or something like that in the Olympics.

There's an age might be 34 I think it might be 32. So this is you know you've only got a small gap. Of space really.

And if you want to make any money. Unless you're famous you know like Anthony Joshua. I don't know how much he got when he turned professional.

But he it was enough to I think for the average person. They probably lived the rest of their life on. It would have been well over a million.

He'd be a millionaire before even before he even put his gloves on for his first fight. Anthony Joshua Olympic gold medalist heavyweight 2012 before he put his gloves on for the first time. He was a millionaire.

Before he had his first professional fight. And good on him. Even more good on him the fact that even with money in the bank.

He's still focused and did the job. He turned up. Because I don't know if I turn up.

I feel I might just make a phone call or go on my phone and go on the you know the the banking app and say see oh so I've got 1.4 million pounds and they want me to go and have someone punch me for 12 rounds. I feel I'll just go out on the yacht I think instead. Yeah I think I'll be too lazy.

So anyone that can keep motivated when there's no financial reward in it for them. Because a certain level of finance is where you're set. Especially if you don't come from money and he didn't.

You know he didn't come from being rich to start with. So for him having a million pounds would be the same as me having a million pounds. It would be life transforming on another level.

Completely change my life in a way that would be ridiculous. You know I'm a big fan of Anthony Joshua. And now he probably gets about 10-20 million a fight probably something like that 10 million.

It's all right isn't it? Yeah I think Tyson Fury has earned more money it's probably because he had the two big fights with Deontay Wilder and that that probably gave him about 10 million. 50 million for those two fights. I don't know it doesn't really matter it's not it's none of my business.

I don't know why I'm even asking. I don't know. Why? Why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why oh why do fools fall in on people like you? USA USA have you forgotten where you live which country do you live in? US USA I live in the USA.

How do you remember that? How are you able to remember where you live? Well what I do is I chant it I chant I say USA. Took me about five years to learn but once I learned it it was good and when if anyone ask me where I live I remember the tune in my head and I say USA and I sing it out loud. I do you know I sing it out loud and other people join in and then yeah I'm reminded of where I live what country yeah it's absolutely good you know you should give it a go it's nice a lot of fun.

Oh okay maybe I will maybe I'll give it a try USA USA who are you saying it to? Everyone that you're looking at are from the USA. Everyone within your vicinity is from America. You're not doing anything it's not affecting anybody you shout in USA.

If everyone's from the same place it's like me saying Essex Essex Essex Essex as I walk down the street. What are you saying that for mate it's because I'm from Essex Essex Essex Essex. You're so my mate what are you shouting it out for I want everyone to know I'm from Essex Essex Essex we just get punched it just keep it words stop that now.

Essex Essex I mean I understand like the ABC song you know ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. I can't believe it right I heard someone do it on Sesame Street. They're teaching kids Sesame Street I used to like watching Sesame Street.

I did I used to watch it and the teaching kids this song ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. Which brilliant great tune I love it I mean. Sometimes I just you know it's a brilliant tune I mean that deserves an Oscar.

and it's so good it's so good a b c d e f g you could imagine Stevie Wonder writing it it's so good it's so composed so a b c d e f g you know that's my impression of Stevie Wonder or who said that and I who's there I see you got the whole thing a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y I did I get it wrong they said Z Z not Zed which is the right word

so I'll shout in the garden now Z what's that about that's not correct it's Zed X Y Zed not Z you're wrong and that's Sesame Street I as I like to think of it as my university my childhood university I used to go to school after watching that I'd be in school saying Jason you know they'd be saying Jason who could spell Zebra and I'd go Z E and so everyone started laughing no Jason it's Zed Z E B R A what is zebra do you mean zebra no Zebra Z E no Z E B

R A so I'd be at home learning and I get to school and I get mocked mollified and mocked mollified and mocked it's not fair but I've got over it I thought I had anyway it's time to go now so by the way all my American friends out there I love you all you know I'm only messing around I'm only messing about only talking don't be taking stuff so seriously I'll have to start doing my own national anthem every time I do this recording and you ain't gonna want to listen to me singing it God

save the you know it's almost it's almost illegal the way that I know I won't be doing that stop trying to salute I used to be the sea cadet I know how to salute I did find it funny when the former president became president four years ago and a soldier he was just about to get on to a you know the plane the plane and a soldier saluted and he went to salute but he didn't know how to like the president he and his his hand was his fingers were in his ears he just like

and his hands was flapping around more than his hair not that I could judge people with hair anymore now that I'm build like an egg yeah well I'm gonna go hopefully the video won't work so just be the audio so thank you for listening goodbye everybody remember remember remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye