#594 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes and hope you're well, hope you're doing all right, hope you're doing groovy, yeah, so, oh, there's so much exciting stuff to tell you all about, oh, oh, I don't really, no I do, no, I did a couple of videos yesterday and, yeah, a couple, a couple, or one, did I do one, yeah, I did one video and it was a video version of Let Me Bore You To Sleep, but it was, yeah, it was yesterday's version or the day before, I don't know, I lose track,

but it was not me, it wasn't like me on camera, but there was an animation on the video, so, I don't know if, I don't know if that'd get more people listening or not, or on YouTube, but I think what I've noticed is I've been paying more attention to YouTube than perhaps I need to be, so, yeah, it's five, oh, I've typical minutes watched 135, wow, no, so, I don't know, I'm kind of, it's been an experiment for me, really, an experiment in seeing if I can do both, like make the podcasts that I want

to make as well as making videos on YouTube as well and a thing I've noticed is the last week or so, I've been spending a lot more time on the YouTube, a lot of it's about watching videos and how to use the software and stuff like that, but it's taken me away from this, away from podcasting and this is where my heart is, making recordings, audio recordings, not video recordings, and I can still share my podcasts onto YouTube, yeah, I can still do that, which is fine, and maybe I'll still do that, but, you know,

it works out, I'm getting, I get about 500 hours, 550 hours listened every month, so, of my YouTube videos or the YouTube podcasts, you know, that are uploaded, that are shared, so that's alright, I can just leave it at that and put more of my effort into the podcasts, that's how I'm kind of thinking, so, the weird thing about it is, the last couple of days, I've learnt so much in how to use the software, the Adobe audio as well as the video software, that it's kind of piqued my interest a bit, in kind of,

okay, what else can I do, what else can I learn, so I guess that could be something that I do separate, like in my own time or after I've done podcasts, so put the podcasts first and then play around with YouTube, maybe, I don't know, it's very time-consuming, you know, the whole software stuff, learning how to use it and all that stuff, it takes a lot, time goes by pretty quickly, even uploading that video of the Let Me Boyd Asleep, that took probably at least two hours to upload and to put together to all the

stuff, all in all, just the video part of it, making it, editing it, so three and a half hours, probably, plus the recording of it, which was separate, which I did, you know, the day before, which is an hour editing, uploading, so that's another two hours really, so that's five and a half hours, let's say five hours, let's trim it off, five hours for one recording, it's a lot, isn't it, that's, it limits me on what I can do in a day, I need an assistant, anyway, the snow, I went out last night what time

was it, about, EastEnders wasn't on because football was on, I've never been so angry, literally for a whole week cricket has been on early in the morning, cricket, cricket, on television, on Channel 4, at the time when I normally watch the comedy shows, like Cheers, Mike and Molly, whatever, you know, whatever's on, starting at 6.

30 in the morning, now, that's the highlight of my day really, I just love it, cricket, cricket, let me just repeat that, cricket, cricket, cricket, I thought the television was faulty, I thought why is it showing cricket, where's Mike, where's Molly, what's going on, cricket, now, I've got nothing against cricket, per se, but I don't, yeah, I don't want it on, I mean the reason it's on at that time is because it's been shown from another country live so I guess it's the afternoon for them, and it's early hours of the morning here, you know,

they're showing it live, which is nice, I like it when boxing's shown live on telly the thing is when boxing's shown live on telly here, and it's in America, it's on at 3 o'clock in the morning, that's not affecting anybody, because there's nothing on television at 3 o'clock in the morning apart from the things that are on, cricket, cricket, I know cricket is a cultural thing, it's very much a cultural thing, you know, there's countries that they raise their kids to love cricket, it's like a national, it's like a huge thing, various countries in the

world, that absolutely cricket is the most important sport in the world to them so I don't want to say anything bad about it, I'm going to, but I don't want to, I just have to, I just don't get it, I don't really get cricket, but I don't get a lot of sports really, I mean cricket, I know some people love it, it's relaxing to watch but if you're there, I don't see anything, watching it on telly, I don't really get what you can get from watching it on telly, like most sports can be portrayed on

television, I don't really see cricket as being one of those I mean I was watching it for about 6 hours, love it, I was watching it for a bit and I feel like they could just replay the same thing over and over again, they could just replay 5 minutes, the same 5 minutes over and over again for about 6 hours and I don't know if anyone would actually notice, it's just, they're chucking a ball at a man with a bat and it's just, oh, I don't know, it's almost like a really lazy game and I

think that's what it was for, it was for people, cricket was invented for people that had no physical ability or didn't need to be physical, I'm sure that the professional cricketers are very fit, physically fit but the lazy Sunday cricket games, I think what it is, I had an uncle that used to play cricket and I remember going, it was a Sunday afternoon I think it was and I sat down and it was so relaxing, it was lovely and you hear the sound of the cricket ball being hit and it's a nice sound, you know,

it's just, you know, plus the only bit of danger really is like, oh I hope the ball doesn't land on me that was it, so there's a little bit of excitement there, you know, I hope it doesn't land on me, I hope it hits my brother, I kind of, oh, fingers crossed, never did though and I just, I looked at it and I thought, they're dressed up like Robocop, they're really padded up, what's inside that ball, has it got explosives in it or what, you know, just, what are they expecting to happen that's what I

used to think and then I played cricket at school once and I was in goal, you know, I had the bat and I figured it looks quite easy, you know, I had all the padding on but I only had the pad on one knee, which seems a bit ridiculous, the padding was just on one knee and the person that threw the ball, I don't know if they aimed it or not but it hit me in the knee that didn't have the pad on what happened next prevented me from ever playing cricket again because I chased

the person with the cricket bat, I chased him because he hurt my knee but it's, I mean it got me banned from it which is good, I tell you what I did like, rounders, I mean we call it rounders, you call it baseball or softball, rounders, softball, it's kind of the same thing really, it's just over here in England like in America it's a major, one of the major sports isn't it in America, here it's something that little kids play on the beach or in a field, you know, in a park, it's not, it's like

a little, like family game and it's done with a softball, it's quite a big ball and a baseball bat and I personally, it's one of my favourite games that was because first of all the ball wasn't going to hurt me because I had a few problems with balls over the years and it was fun, you know, anyone of any age could play it because it was easy, it didn't take any physical ability really most of the people, just like with cricket, are just standing around, it's like they're just lost, what are they actually waiting for,

great, great sport if all you want to do is get a suntan but other than that, in fact they don't do that, you have to be, some of the cricketers are proper covered up aren't they so they don't get sunburnt because they're just standing in the heat, you know, maybe not in England because we don't get huge amounts of heat here but sometimes we do, we get, we must have at least, I reckon we get 60 days of sun, not all in a row but I reckon we get 60 days of sun in the year,

throughout the year, at least and out of those 60 days we probably get 20 really hot days, yeah, again not in a row, sometimes we get 5 or 6 days in a row but there was one day, was it, not last year because even the weather didn't get a chance to make the news last year and I was a bit obsessed weren't I and other things, the year before we had the hottest day in history, in this country and literally everybody was just indoors, naked, just trying to get cool and I remember I was phoning,

I phoned parents up and phoned people up and they were all doing the same thing, everyone was like yeah, we can't go out because we're naked because it's so damn hot and I thought, oh thanks dad, thanks for telling me that, lovely visual and it was just really, because we don't have, I say we don't have, I'm generalising but, you know, cooler systems, whatever you call it, not central heating, central cooling we don't really have that, we have it in offices but we don't generally have that built into our homes in this country because it's

not hot, very often I know that other places, I think Thailand and, you know, if you stay there you'll have a cooler system, air conditioning, that's it, air conditioning kind of built in that comes with the house I suppose maybe in Australia, probably not Russia, probably not, you know, the eastern countries, eastern Europe, because it's, a lot of Europe doesn't seem to be particularly warm, I might be wrong but then I don't get to hear the weather and the weather forecast doesn't include Bosnia and, or Bologna, not Bologna, where was it that I went to,

not Bosnia, not Poland, Burak, not Germany, never been to Germany, Deutschland I did thought about going there one day, I think it would be quite an interesting place to go to, Sweden, Switzerland, yeah, I quite like to, I quite like to visit, yeah, some of those places, where did I go It was eastern European, it was definitely, I went skiing, well I didn't go skiing, snowboarding, not Bosnia, not Sarajevo, I don't know why I've got those in my head, not Edinburgh, not Prague, not Bosnia, see it keeps coming back Hmm, where was it, Belairo, it's

weird that, well not weird but I find it strange that between us and the colder parts of Europe is hotter parts of Europe So you've got Spain and Italy and France, parts of France that are really hot in the summer, so I wonder does Germany get hot in the summer And German people might be listening to this thinking, that's the most stupidest thing I've ever heard, what do you mean does Germany get hot in the summer, it's the summer, everywhere gets hot And yeah I suppose that does make sense, I'm not sure how hot Ireland

gets, because Ireland is such a wet country, sort of weather wise, obviously they have summers but I don't think they have, I think we have better summers here than Ireland do And we have better summers than Scotland, what's weird though, again I don't know if that's true, I know Scotland had much, much more winter, more wintry in the winter than it is here But that's the same for Wales as well, yeah Wales, I used to go to, I used to go camping in Wales when I was a kiddie and not through choice, but I like

Wales a lot, it was beautiful, beautiful place So I got a lot of positivity towards Wales, it's a really, really nice, the places that I went to And I like the Welsh accent as well, now I don't feel that way about accents generally, but really, yeah I like the Welsh accent, don't know why, maybe it's the way it's broken up I don't know, I just quite like it, how are you doing, I can't do, I can't, all accents are alright, well not all, some are just harsh There's some places, people that I've met from, you

know, I'm not going to name the places because I don't know them, but the way, and this woman she talked, the way she talked was almost as if she was talking but almost like she was shouting at me Very abrupt, very, and I thought, no I don't like that, I don't like that, no, no, no thanks, no I'll give it a miss, thank you very much, yeah no Yeah cricket, can't believe it, but it's done, it's over, as far as I'm aware, I'm pretty, pretty, pretty sure that it's, my programs will be back on, my

programs will be back on this morning in a few hours time In fact 3 hours and 25 minutes, it will be back, Mike and Molly will be back, and I'll be very pleased, yes oh yes Oh yes, so I'm not going to sleep, it's 3 o'clock in the morning, I've already done 2 recordings, and I've done, I've done a deep sleep whisper, I've done a sleep hypnosis weekly, and now I'm doing this one So that's 3 recordings, that was it, that was the whole, so 2 of those will be, have ones with music as well,

so that's 5 recordings actually Now that for me is a successful night, now I've not edited anything yet, so it's editing and then uploading, so that's, that will take me, in fact It's, it depends how the internet holds up, if the internet holds up I can get it done quicker, the internet's very, very temperamental, it is, it's, you know, will it work, will it not work, it's Yeah I've got parts of my body like that, not reliable at all, so yeah I'm hoping to get that done, but it's, the thing is once I've done or

made the recordings, I feel better I have a little lift, you know, I don't, I don't mean, I don't lift things, yeah I get on the weights, ooo, ooo, ooo, I'm a big strong muscly man now, ooo, ooo No, I, I guess there's the satisfaction that I have accomplished something today, even though the day's only just started, it, it feels quite good that I've done something I can get it all done, I've done something and I can get it all done, my stomach's rumbling, can you hear that, it's because I was hungry isn't it, that's

why, I'm hungry, it's not my fault, I'm hungry Yeah so it's nice to have that done, it's nice to get it out of the way, but it's not out of the way because it's not a chore, I'm doing this because I enjoy it, yeah That's kind of supposed to be the, the way of how it's supposed to be If I only knew the things that you said to me Blimey, blimey, blimey If I was your girlfriend, would you let me dress you, ooo, ooo Just have a look at my phone and put it down again,

yes So yeah, it's, we're now 10th of February, so another 5 days, halfway through the month, blimey, or 25% through the month, no, that'd mean there'd be 40 days, so we're a third away through the month, no, 40 days, no we're a third away through the month Third through, yeah Wow Wow, I mean seriously, what is it, 10 past 3, I reckon by, in 2 months time, it'll be practically light outside by now, by this time, seriously, it gets light really early, really quickly Once you get February out of the way, the light just, you

know, it's amazing, in fact, once the summer's actually here, the days start to get shorter So, it's kind of weird, isn't it?

When I'm awake, usually, some people moan, I don't like hearing the birds in the background, well, the birds are in the background, I don't know what to say to you But, when I get the other microphone, it should block out stuff like that, so it should just pick up my voice and nothing else, which is kind of, kind of ideal, yeah It's been quite good actually, because I've managed to sit here for a few hours, making recordings, and Andre, not made a peep, nothing, unlike my tummy He's been fast asleep, oh, you know what I've

found, I need to change his water actually, thinking about it, oh man, I need to change his water, I really do, he's drinking it, it's disgusting And I found his girlfriend in the water, well, the slipper, that is, so I don't know if he accidentally left it there, or he had a row with her, which is a bit grim, if you think about it So I took it out, and I put it on the top of the radiator to dry off, but I forgot to change his water, now his water, it's probably brown, honestly, now

he's only done that, I think, once before So I'm thinking he did that on purpose, he doesn't generally do things unless there's a reason for it, so I don't know, maybe he wanted it cleaned, maybe he wanted to give her some water But I don't know, I mean, he's got this little snake, it's a big, it's not a real snake, it's a stuffed toy, and other than his slipper, that's the only thing that I'm not allowed to touch, if I touch it, he grabs it off me and runs away and hides it Now, I never

see him go anywhere near the snake, but he will not allow me to go near it, it's the same with the slipper, if I pick the slipper up, all I hear is, and he tries to get it off me, again, runs away, doesn't want me to touch his stuff But they're the only two things that he's really, really obsessive about or possessive about, pretty much anything else he's not that bothered, kind of, there's a few things that he doesn't really want me touching, but they're the two main things, he doesn't like me touching his big

snake or the slipper Now, I haven't seen the snake for absolutely months, don't know where he's put him, he keeps running under the chair, so I'm guessing he might have him under the chair So, he's got his little places and he's, I think it might be his baby, he's like his child, that snake, I think is his child, so that's why he's so possessive But I never see him with it, I have done in the past, see him like, when he had his cage, he used to try and get the snake into his cage and

try and take it all the way up and put it into his sleeping area But, he struggled and if I tried to help him he didn't like it, but he doesn't have the cage anymore, he's got his own, he doesn't like the cage now, he grew out of it, he just, he likes to be, I don't know, maybe he would like to have the cage back, I don't know I don't think so, I think he's, yeah, if I put him into the cage he wouldn't like it, because he doesn't have the freedom of just running

around and doing whatever he wants, whenever he wants In the cage he's limited, even though I think the cage is probably much, much more comfortable, because he's got a hammock in there, he's got another thing that hangs up that he can sleep in, that's really comfortable But, you know, I think he prefers to sleep in the old tracksuit bottoms that he sleeps in, or inside the old jumper of mine that he likes to sleep in And I've got a pair of trousers that I ripped that I can't wear anymore and they're on the floor in

the bedroom and he sleeps in them as well, in them, because he likes to sleep in the leg Because it's, I guess it's like a tunnel, kind of, yeah As long as he's happy, that's the main thing really, isn't it, as long as he's alright Earlier on I called him over, I was sitting down, I kind of got down a bit, put my feet on the floor and he walked over and before I could pick him up he ran under the chair I was like, Andre I just want some physical contact please, I just need

a cuddle, just a cuddle please, please So I don't know what's happening with the snow, I mean it's still been snowing all day today but just little bits And I don't know if it's snowing tonight, during the night, because I've not looked Even when I walked up to the garage it was still a little bit snowy, just, you know, like the little flakes, just a little bit So that's alright, I'll tell you what I noticed though, is I usually notice this when it's icy, but it wasn't icy, it was just snow So I noticed that

I was walking very carefully and my posture was really, really good And there was no, I had no back problems at all the whole journey and I was walking and there was something about Because I had to keep my posture correct for the sake of balance, physical balance And it seemed to do the trick So maybe I might try and do that more often, just generally when I'm walking Try and notice each step and be a bit more, have a bit more awareness of each step, you know, as I'm doing them My stomach's really rumbling,

proper rumbling, I don't know why I didn't know, I didn't know why, I don't know Oh man, I sometimes think it'd be quite nice if we had snow From the 1st of December to the end of February, like every year, three months of snow And then we could be prepared for it, you know, it's like okay, well it's going to be snowing tomorrow And we could all, you know, wear skis and wear tennis rackets on our feet and stuff like that I think that'd be quite cool Who do I need to ask to get this

done?

Oh dear, you know some people Some people believe that the government or the governments of the world have a weather machine And they're controlling the weather And, I mean technically, we all have a weather machine in our houses, don't we? Fridges and freezers, they're weather machines That's a weather machine, isn't it? A fridge, it keeps the weather at a certain temperature And the freezer keeps it frozen, that's a weather, isn't it? Okay, no snow or rain, but ultimately it's a weather condition I was thinking if that was the case, then there wouldn't be any droughts ever, would there?

Because it's just, let's have some rain You know, so I find it interesting how some people believe something and they don't question it Maybe it's someone really important to them, believes this thing So therefore they've taken on that belief and they won't question it Or taken on that delusion But it would make no sense if there was, you know, I think the idea is, you know, like in the movies There'd be a satellite sending signals or a laser through the atmosphere Creating or stimulating the clouds to do things I bored myself with that one, I

can't be bothered anymore, that was boring I can't talk about weather machines and the government controlling the weather, come on I even got bored with that one See, I don't find it interesting, the idea of it, I just find it interesting that someone would believe it Now I'm not saying that it's not possible to do that To make a, to create weather, because we do it with fridges and freezers and There's ice machines and snow machines and all kinds of things, isn't there?

But if we were able, or we, you know, society, the government, whoever, scientists Were able to create rain where there is none Then surely they would be sending that rain to places that need it Surely Or at the very least charging a subscription It would be like the technology, wouldn't it? Paying for clouds, that's what we do nowadays Everything we pay for is in the clouds, isn't it? All the streaming and all that stuff So literally they'd be paying for clouds, but literally Yeah, like a small cloud over my farm, please Oh, okay, how long for?

What measurement of water and rainfall would you require? Yeah, I think I'd like eight inches, please Eight inches, wow, that's huge Yeah, I know, eight inches is huge It is, that's almost giant That's not human, human size Okay, we've got the point, but yeah, it's massive Eight inches to a rain? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know Eight inches though, blimey God, no, I wouldn't want that, would you? No, no one would It's just ridiculous, it's abnormal Zimmy zam, zom, zom Zom, zim, zam, zem Here's a question Why do woolly jumpers get so wet in the rain?

And I've tried to wash wool In a bath before Very hard to get rinsed Very hard to get rid of the water They retain water Wool Yes, wool Retains water It doesn't repel, it retains Retains Retains Now isn't that the opposite of what wool should be doing? Apparently now you can get woollen shoes That are waterproof And the advert showed someone jumping into a puddle An adult, actually, jumping into a puddle like a small child They're waterproof, they said Doesn't mean you have to jump into a puddle And splash everyone else though, does it? I mean, they may be waterproof, do they When you put them on, do they Remove that part of your brain that is Considerate towards others?

Just asking You're rude You're miserable and you're rude You just moan, moan, moan all the time I think it must be good to be a cloud That's the thing, you know in Superman, the movie, the first one With Christopher Reeve and And Whatever her name is That played Lois, Lois, Lois Not Lewis, Lois, Lois Lane And he flies with her He takes her for a fly In the sky Above the clouds Well first of all she wouldn't be able to breathe They don't mention that bit Secondly, she'd be freezing up She'd be absolutely frozen, wouldn't

she Don't mention that either Don't show that in there It's very unrealistic It's very unrealistic And I realise I'm talking about a man flying Yeah, so it's supposed to be unrealistic, isn't it You can't have a realistic superhero movie Not really You can't moan so that's unrealistic Although, I used to say this years ago Especially with the Hulk, probably more so than anyone else Is the damage that he caused You know The damage to society and to people That were just standing about And the buildings that he'd end up knocking down And then the Marvel

came along They were destroying practically whole cities Fighting with aliens And I did think, why is no one mentioning this Why is no one mentioning the damage that's being caused And then they did in I forget, it was the Captain Marvel one Where they basically went to war with each other Half of them decided You know Not Captain Marvel, Captain America Captain America?

Captain Metal Coat? No, Captain America Captain America Captain Marvel Too many Captains Captain America He He decided that No He didn't decide it I think Someone else decided that They needed to be held responsible Needed to be Watched Needed permission To go out and save the world And Captain America didn't agree with that And so half the Marvel team Agreed, half didn't And then they ended up fighting each other, which is good I'm not sure why I'm mentioning it Yeah, that was unrealistic as well Why was I mentioning that? Yeah, because of the damage And it was all basically You know, they need to Andre just arrived I've got so much tidying up to do in this place Hello baby boy You alright?

Hello He's done a big wee wee and now he's gone back to sleep So yeah I was watching Ant-Man 2 Yesterday or the day before Or yesterday morning It's quite funny, it's got some funny bits in it It's er They're very They really do make use of the shrinking There's one part, he shrinks a whole building Into the size of a little Case Which he then put into the back of a van And he walks around with This little Basically it looks like it's got sort of seven Toy cars in it, like a little thing

And each one of them puts it on the floor and he just Shrinks it up again or grows it up again So it's the size of a real car It's quite cool I think one of the things I like about the The erm The Marvel films Is they do make fun of themselves So Ant-Man really made fun of the fact that he was That no one knew who he was That he was the least popular character in the Marvel Universe, you know Because his films weren't as popular as the rest of them So I think

that was quite good, the way they The way they added that in Yeah, yeah So it's Tuesday today No it's Wednesday today, it's Wednesday today So I'll get a food delivery on Thursday tomorrow So I'll need to remember to adjust that order And just get the bare minimum really To keep me going until next week But I'm glad I had most of what I needed Especially with this snow, which meant I didn't Didn't need to go out so much Although I did go out today and I do need to go out tomorrow Because I've run

out of food for Andre I need to go to the pet shop to get him some food He's got enough until then I'll go tomorrow afternoon He's got plenty of dry food He doesn't have to go without Just means he, I think he's had his last packet of wet food But there's still some there, he hasn't eaten all of it The first thing I'm going to do when I finish this Is change his water, because that's grim I've completely, I don't know why I didn't think about doing it I've noticed he's not been near it

So I'm going to change that now So thank you for listening Remember to be kind to yourself Because you do deserve to be happy Lots of love Bye