#588 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Well, I've not made a recording for a few days because of my cough that I had.

I wasn't feeling particularly well either but it was the cough was the main, well it's hard, it's really hard to talk and cough at the same time. You know, you know I mean it's, I could do internet stuff and work on my website and it was fine but making a recording, talking and you know I had a few phone calls and I was just coughing all the way through while I was trying to talk and previous recordings that I did the last two or three I was coughing all the way through them and having to edit, it took ages to edit out the coughs. Not ideal.

Now I realise that you don't hear the coughs if I edit them out but it's uncomfortable for me. Yeah, so and it got to the point I was coughing, it was rattling my chest, it was rattling my head because as you notice I have a very tiny little brain so when I shake my head it rattles like a ping pong ball hitting the sides and that's not healthy so I have to be a little bit careful. I mean if you ever met me you realise, well if you see any of the videos you'll notice that my head really moves.

I figure my head's still the whole time it's like I'm balancing a pack of cards or some dominoes or something. I'm really really careful. So yeah there's that.

So what I did on Thursday, because it's now Sunday, on Thursday I decided to phone up because one of my listeners, I forget who it was now but thank you, whoever you are, send me a link. In fact I'll tell you who it was. I'll tell you who it was.

I'll tell you. I'll tell you. No, I can't find it.

Sorry. No, I can't find it. I'm sorry.

I forget who it was but thank you whoever, I did thank you at the time but I can't find the message. So I had the link. I was sent the link because I was talking about having a cough and maybe considering getting a corona test and which is what I did.

On Thursday afternoon I phoned and ordered a test, a home test for them to send it to me because I couldn't go to the testing centre which is about eight miles away or something, maybe 10 miles. It's quite a long way. I couldn't go there, turn up with a cough and you know.

So I ordered the online one, the online one, the home one. Man that was a long conversation. They must have asked me my name, my telephone number, my email address and whether or not I was a I don't know, an important worker.

I forget what they call, a crisis worker or you know someone that's important and I said no to these questions, probably 12 times each question throughout the thing and the person that was interviewing me on the phone, even though I said the test is for me, he kept asking the questions, does the person the test is for have, like it's for me, why don't you just talk directly to me and he wouldn't, he just like, I didn't pick him up on it because you know, I know those kinds of jobs are very very difficult even

though technically you could say well it's easy but it's not a case of the difficulty of the processing, you know, just put a little bit of information into a computer system.

It's the dealing with people and you know it's there's a lot of pressure so I try, I try to be as respectful as I can to anybody that I talk to in call centres. I don't always succeed but I really do try, I put an effort into it and he's a nice bloke and it was fine and we got it done.

It took a while what's weird about it if you ever do apply to do the to get tested for the COVID-19 and if you're in the UK that is and you want to get it sent to you before you phone them up make sure you've got an email address because they they send a code to your email address and then get you to confirm that code whilst you are on the phone or with them which makes me wonder what would happen if someone doesn't have an email address so I'm not going to say they won't

give you the test, they won't send it to you if you don't have an email address because I don't know if that's true they might have another system around it another process and I didn't ask but I found it very unusual because if anything this day and age I think emails are more less used than in the past well I'm just thinking there's so many apps and things that you can use on your laptop your tablet or your phone and you can log in using your Facebook ID or your Apple ID or even maybe your

Twitter ID or your Google ID you know it's just quite often you don't even need to remember what your email address is of course you need an email to have Facebook and to have all the other stuff but yeah I don't know anyway I received the oh before I go any further I'd just like to say thank you to Tyson for your kind PayPal gift thank you very much and the message I got from there was thanks so much for all you do sleep which my family listens to regularly we enjoy your slice of life

stories as we're drifting off to sleep and appreciate your calm you got my I'll read again and appreciate your calm voice and that's from Tyson in a memory car you don't think it's Mike Tyson do you oh my goodness my first famous person thank you it's very nice of you I do appreciate your kind words and it's weird the um yeah okay I I know it's this is a lot of expenses at the moment with stuff that I've been getting and everything but it really helps helps to get me through because I feel almost like

you know although I've been doing this for 15 years I feel like I'm now taking baby steps towards becoming an adult or not even an adult so much but walking so it's almost like I've been crawling for 15 years and now I'm I want to walk I want to be I've been relying on the floor to support me for 15 years now I want to start relying on myself or I want to be able to be self-supportive by walking be more flexible have more opportunities more options in life to go to more places you know

so I can walk to the bathroom I can get to the kitchen or eventually get on this get on this you know the chair and get to the cookie cookie jar in the cupboard you know eventually baby steps so this is now the kind of the progression period I know the last last few days and honestly I'm getting about 3 000 downloads a day when I don't do anything when I don't make any recordings at all it goes down you know if I do four recordings in a day I can end up like 9 000

downloads but when I go down I don't do anything for three or four days it's almost like I'm forgotten everyone forgets about me it's not fair so perhaps I should make a few recordings just as a standby and then post that when I'm a bit unwell or under the weather I don't know possibly as it is I quite like to do a best of but there's too many recordings um okay I'm being I'm limiting myself it's just it's a huge job to find anything good out of it I just try what would the best of

I thought about saying um just having one recording where I laugh not not just me laughing but the whatever it is I was talking about that made myself laugh so that's happened a few times over the years so I thought I'd do that because that's just as a as a thing you know just like okay the night Jason laughed and I don't know I just just it'd be nice to listen back and like oh that was that was funny that was interesting well that was this that you know well I suppose it's not supposed to

be interesting but you know what I mean we all know that it's mega interesting and I'm the most interesting person you've ever heard in your entire life we all know that but we pretend we're very good at pretending oh my filling came out last week I don't know if I mentioned it but of course I can't go to the dentist because I am now shielded for 10 days I'm not allowed to leave the house although I have so there but um if I have got it so I sent I sent I sent the test away

on Friday after having done it now I'm just remembering doing the test I wish I'd kept it and filmed myself doing it because it's uh the process of doing it yourself the hardest part isn't the the the swab although the mouth bit is uncomfortable but you know for something this serious it don't matter just push yourself through it ain't the end of the world seriously um sticking up your nose I didn't find that particularly it really bothered me I'm always putting stuff up my nose so it just it's like a normal normal afternoon really and

I found the hardest part of it was doing everything on the list so when you get the thing you have to again this is in the UK in fact it might even be different if it's in Scotland because they did ask me are you in Scotland or England so there might be a different process in Scotland to what there is in England I don't know um it's just because I kept making sure I was in England even though I'd already given my postcode and my address uh 14 times at least so there might be a

different process but my the kit I got the first thing I had to do was go online and uh I don't know what the right terminology is for it in fact wait a minute I'll read it to you there's a booklet and it's a 23 page booklet called COVID-19 home test step-by-step guide before you start read these instructions before you open a test wash your hands with 20 I forgot to wash my hands ah if more than one person in your home is taking the test well different tests I guess make sure you have a

test kit for each person do they think they're getting a family of five just all just using the same swab I don't want to put it in my mouth dad you've had that up your nose you know just what the whole family send it back I don't think anyone's um quite that test is suitable for the following people age adults age 18 and over self-test unless unable to do so yeah teenagers ages 12 to 17 self-test with adult supervision and children 11 and under adults to test right the first thing you have to do is

oh before you even do it find out where your nearest Royal Mail priority post boxes because you need to post your completed test no later than one hour before last collection no later no earlier oh okay weekend collection times may differ from weekdays do not take your test on a bank holiday blah blah so I did that I went online to find out the nearest Royal Mail priority post box and initially I thought wow that's a long way away because it was and then I found one that was closer and then I found one that

was actually in my bedroom which is brilliant now this there's one across the park that actually has actually has a Royal NHS priority on it which I never noticed before but then I've never looked at it before well I have looked at it when I put mail in there but it's been a while it's not even a proper post box you couldn't fit a small child in there I don't know why would you want to but I mean I'm just saying it's honestly it's little it's not like one of the big red ones that the

whole adult could get in there but this is like tiny little one so what's the point of having mailboxes like that where you can't it reminds me of I went to the post office which is about half hour walk from here and I needed to post a letter so I got a stamp put on the envelope and I walked outside to put it into the post box which was a big red big red one and it was jam-packed couldn't even I can't get my letter in there and I said I went into the thing I

went to the to the shop and post office and I said excuse me mate that post box needs to be emptied the letters are falling out of it anyone could just steal those letters that's the whole story for that nothing else happened but then an elephant flew down and nothing nothing else happened but I do find it curious that other people don't care don't seem to notice that stuff unless lots of people are told them and they just don't care themselves mind you they were very busy yeah so I found that the nearest priority post

box so that was okay the next thing to do register your test kit online so I had to go online to gov.

uk register dash home dot dash test and I had to put in the code and all this stuff and the information and then I got an email to confirm it it says take the swab sample on the same day you'll post it now the rest of it is just simply you do the test then you put it the kit contains so I was a little bit like wow what was all this stuff uh the kit contains a zip lock bag swab inside sealed wrapper a plastic vial containing a small amount of liquid the liquid must

stay in the vial it is me wanting to drink it a white absorbent pad a biohazard bag with silver seal security seal for the return box and a return box with prepaid raw mal return label okay so there's quite a lot of stuff I didn't understand what the white absorbent pad was for I know maybe in case I got sweaty you know just to wipe myself down but then I realized what it is you put the the zip locked bag that's where you put the plastic vial and you put the white absorbent pad in there

as well so of course that's in case the vial breaks so it so it doesn't end up ruining the other mail oh aren't they clever you have to make the box yourself that I spent how many jobs did I have where I had two jobs in factories where making boxes was something that I would spend a lot of time doing you know basically every box so for example I worked in a uh a meter making factory you know electric meters so they were I think they were kind of the biggest meter in the world I

think they were proper one of the top ones if not the only one I don't know I'll make that bit up but it sounds good and they my job the first job I had there was to put the meters into the boxes so they'd be tested and it'd be tested again made tested and then at the final test and then it would be sent down to me and I would sometimes they'd be on a trolley in fact they would normally be on a trolley and I would put them into the boxes that were numbered so

they had had to be in order and then I would stack them once all the boxes were filled because it was a case if the boxes didn't get filled one by one we had to lay out I don't know 30 boxes in a circle almost and then take take the meters off the trolley and put them in each box as it came so it was uh it was all right there was space to do it well usually and then stack the boxes onto a pallet spin wrap the pallet with you know plastic spin wrap thing

to secure it all and then take it out onto wherever it is needs to be stored before it was taken away by a forklift the beginning process of that was to make the boxes so basically whenever we run out of boxes we'd go out and we make every box that I used I made which isn't totally true other people might have done didn't I didn't make them but they were flat packed and you push through this push a little hole there and you know you put them together a bit weird to start with but you

know if you do anything enough times it becomes easy and because there was different boxes for different types of meters because they weren't always the same with different types so I was used to that and then I went when I moved to London having worked three times at the factory but only twice did I have the box making thing because there'd be times when I'd just be making boxes for like an hour and you build enough up for the next day or two or whatever the day you know so it wasn't always a case of

making a box filling it making a box filling it making a little like that and also it's a sky to sit you know especially if someone was with me would just stand there and have a laugh talk about all my life experiences as an adult I was 18 so there wasn't much to talk about um all the hopes of one day being able to touch a boobie you know just things like that and I I used to find it quite zen when I was on my own to just make the box and my mind would

kind of calm and the small physical movements of my arms and my legs and my body turn in and just things like that was quite nice quite liked it and I could make a box so quickly as well it's uh yeah so I was good at that I found my calling in life making boxes cardboard boxes and then when I moved to London I got a job in a cold store and that involved making boxes again uh all the the meat would come in their own boxes because it was uh frozen meat that needed to

have labels that need to be weighed individually pieces needed to be waived weighed not waved waved to them weigh them and then put a label on them and then it would put into a box a box that I'd made now there was one two three three different machines or ways scales whatever in my department and so that meant we all had our own boxes to make so we made them for ourselves so it's uh every pallet I don't know how many five ten put about 30 boxes on a pallet I think five ten fifteen twenty

twenty five yeah I think 30 maybe 35 but it'd be five on it'd be five on each level five ten fifteen twenty maybe it's 25 it's a long time ago and so yeah I again I could I could put boxes together with my eyes closed but it's not safe to do that really in your working environment you should keep your eyes open unless of course you're I don't know trying to think of a job where you could keep your eyes closed meditator teaching meditation you could have your eyes closed for that you could if you

made recordings hypnosis recordings you could have your eyes closed for that as well which I do although if I do that I tend to fall asleep which isn't ideal and so yeah that was that was okay I'm trying to think why I'm talking about cardboard boxes there must be a reason oh yeah the cardboard box was it's a miniature one you know like the cardboard boxes that I used to build were big I'm trying to think what you could fit in it I guess kind of suitcase size you know big not huge boxes but you

know but to do this one it was almost very finicky but I meant it when I first looked at it I thought no my brain turned off can't do that don't have to do that and I had to give myself a good talking to I honestly I had to tell myself what I've just told you reminding myself that I spent years putting boxes together assembling assembling cardboard boxes that's not all I did but I spent years where that was part of the job I've made probably hundreds of thousands of boxes over the years would that

be a possible truth many many thousands anyway maybe not hundreds of thousands but many thousands of boxes 30 60 90 100 so yeah lots lots and lots and lots so yeah I would yeah thousands of boxes were loaded onto the lorry every week in the the what's it factory the uh yeah meter electric meter factory I kind of wish I was still there sometimes but as me not as me the me that was there then although I'd you know I'd probably I don't know I was gonna start happily take the body back but I don't

even know because I yeah I wasn't hugely impressed with my body back then I was too skinny but yeah I definitely sort of go back and be 18 again but with my as I am like as I you know makes sense to me I know what I mean because then I could but then if I I don't know I don't know if putting meters in boxes all day would satisfy me not not that it really did back then but I didn't um I had no aspirations really at that point I had I had no plans

there was nothing in my life at all other than work that was it and I remember I used to work over time because I didn't want to go home there was nothing to go home for I had a little room I'd go home I'd go to bed that'd be it really I don't think I even had a television in my room so you know it wasn't weird times didn't drink alcohol at all really back then didn't do anything I just went to work came home and went to work I used to visit me Nan but

outside of that I didn't really do anything I didn't even do any fitness didn't do uh didn't train didn't go to the gym yeah all the things I could have done but I didn't do the things I used to do before that you know before I left school I was going to the gym practically every day training doing karate twice a week at the club and you know training every day and then when I left school I stopped everything it's almost like my whole life just stopped and started you know worked in a chip shop

and just that was it I didn't sort of yeah it's weird weird that's why I know for me and it might be useful advice for others I don't know I say I don't know because I've probably already done it I've probably already rented or not rented but done a talk about this on previous podcasts other podcasts not this one and I what I noticed in my life is I have to have something something to aim for something to pretty much be the focus of my life and it doesn't seem to matter what it is as

long as there's something that can take that is all-encompassing kind of not not I'm saying there's no room for anything else because there's always room for other things but a reason to get out of bed you know that's the thing something that almost stops me from wanting to go to bed because I want to keep doing this thing or there's something I'm thinking about when I'm not doing it yeah does that make sense and I didn't have that when I was a kid really until I got interested in okay it's not true books I suppose

I loved reading loved reading um about books were the most the bestest things in the whole world for me when I was a kid I loved television as well so reading books watching television my two favorite things when I was a child up to the age of 14 50 something like that 14 yeah I'd say 14 and my love of reading books didn't stop but things changed so when I was 14 I became I started doing karate karate and became obsessed that's what I was looking for obsessed I'm gonna lean back and put my feet

on the sofa oh that's uncomfortable I became I became completely obsessed with karate and before that yeah I became obsessed with the occult which is weird I know yeah see it's hard to remember because of the such a long time ago and memories get mixed up and stuff but just thinking back because when I did karate I didn't have an evening paper round because I remember I'm pretty sure I didn't because I was looking after my little brother in the evenings after school I'd look after him and then um someone would come home in time

for me to go to karate so that's what I used to do so I'm pretty sure I must have had early morning paper round and other thing I always had money coming in from the age of 13 or was it 12 13 whenever I was old when whatever age I was old enough to work part-time I did and I had lots and lots of different jobs all at the same time and early morning paper round evening paper round daily I'd have a weekend delivery round which was leaflets so I'd have a trolley for that so

and I'd do that once a week weekly do that the idea yeah in the weekend then I have another round that was monthly which was leaflets but it was like a magazine thing I also had a part-time job in a bakery as well I'm not saying I did all those at the same time but there was a there was a period when I did I had about four part-time jobs and yeah I also worked yeah it wasn't just the bakery I worked in the kitchen um washing up as well in that hotel with the restaurant

that's how I started so yeah there was uh I always had money not like lots and lots of money more money than I've got now it's kind of weird I had more money when I was 14 than I have now in my pocket so it's just the way it was but I once I had money come in I started buying things for myself especially like books and things like that so I used to buy quite a few books and if there was something I used to buy this magazine it's I don't know why I'm laughing

there's a magazine it was like an occult magazine which was I used to buy books on various different subjects that just absolutely excited me and yeah so I just I was happy I just loved that stuff then karate came along and it was all-encompassing it was I was I'd never been I don't think I've ever been obsessed with anything before that was the most obsessed thing I've ever been into and I just I did what every kid that gets into karate or martial arts does I just watched every martial arts film every Bruce Lee film

every Bruce Lai film every Jackie Chan film every you name it everything I also bought loads of equipment I've got nunchucks throwing stars all the stuff that children really shouldn't be having but there you go I bought them all I think if I had any size or not I'm not sure I had you know quite quite a bit of stuff I had a gym at the bottom of the garden on my dad's workshop he gave me a bit of space so I could have a punch bag and my weights and so I was doing weights

every day in the gym I'd go in my little thing I'd go to the gym around the corner when I could as well but the here's something I've talked about this before but me and my friend we were walking somewhere we were coming home anyway coming back to mine and we passed there was a laundrette and another empty building next to it like a like almost like a shop front but nothing in there and there was this man struggling trying to get this thing out of the van like a massive big carpet and my friend

said do you want to help do you want to end and he said yeah I said I'll tell you what we'll help you if you give us free membership because didn't know it's a gym he said oh yeah I've been in a gym and everything I said okay I'll help you if you give me free membership and he said yeah so I helped him me and my friend helped him with the carpet helped him with some other stuff to get unloading stuff into the place I think I might have even helped him to put the

carpet down and a few other bits that he needed and I might have even gone back a couple of times to help but it was all with the thing you know free membership and he stuck to it I think he started charged me once I left school but while I was at school he didn't charge me nothing and I was his first member I was his first yeah and so I had so I had that gym to use the first gym I'd ever used I've never been to a gym before like weights and stuff and

then I think at that time I already had weights you know I already had my own weights down the garden so this was like brilliant start using a proper gym because there wasn't any in town that I know of yeah that's right and anyway so I did that I was obsessed not with the gym so much but with martial arts training used to go jogging regularly like in the morning especially in the summer I love mind you I was doing that long before I did karate I used to like jogging used to like running the

I was lucky in a sense if I lived near a beach and every beach is beautiful when it's sunny you know I mean even if it's not a particularly good beach and there might not be sand it might be just cobbles or might you know um there's something nice about the sea and being near the sea the sea breeze when it's a sunny and when I say sunny I was talking talking like five six in the morning I'll be running this before school and I might have even done it before with paper round you know

so hey that's a little bit weird I used to run I used to love running I wonder what happened I used to enjoy it I used to actually enjoy running because it used to um had an effect on my mind which I liked yeah had an effect on my mind it calmed my mind down there was the because I used to find when I jogged I was slow I don't do anything fast uh well I don't do many generally I mean it depends if there's adverts on or not but I generally if I'm when I

when I used to jog slow for me it wasn't a marathon you know as someone says is a marathon not not it's a you know it's not a sprint it's a marathon but for me it wasn't even a marathon because marathons are timed aren't they I'm not interested in time or how long it takes for me to walk run from one end of the promenade to the other didn't interest me all I was interested in is getting into the rhythm um the rhythm of the breathing the rhythm of the running at the foot one foot

going in front of the other and getting to a point where I didn't get a stitch because I was in a rhythm nothing to win nothing to lose just doing it because it was nice I wasn't really even doing for fitness I was fit I was a kid you know I was I was lucky I was a fit kid uh I was very slim and my you know my fat percentage would probably be like minus minus one percent or something it was that you know I had no fat on me and I didn't right the

way up to pretty much 25 so I was you know when I was in the hospital when I had my appendix out the nurse did say to me or it might be the doctor that a very slow pulse which meant I'd be be ideal to be a long distance runner and I remember saying to to the parents that the doctor's parents because they they were all having lunch I said you know what that's what I'm going to do when I because I there was a period of recovery for the appendix thing and it was a

while I couldn't do any exercise or anything like that for a few quite a few weeks and then finally I went to the hospital to get tested to make sure everything was fine and it was all fine and I remember saying on the way back to the car I'm going to start running and I'll become and that got absolutely zero interest from the people that listened and so but I thought you know what I am and I did I started running so I get up in the morning not even a particularly morning person but there's

something about running that's felt nice felt nice I started to think maybe I should get back into it I don't know I mean there's a possibility even though I'm 50 there is a possibility that I'm okay you know I mean physically inside I'm still all right you know because of the the you know the the fit the fitness that I had at the fitness level that I gained by training and then also the other trainings I've done boxing kung fu taekwondo things like that that I've done over the years as well as an adult maybe

that's you know contributed to some level of health I don't know so maybe I could take up running again jogging jogging I never run I jog and I jog slowly but I've jogged generally I prefer to jog when there's no one else around and you know I don't live near a beach so I can't do that although that is one of my real happy memories jogging down towards the sea beautiful morning bright just heading towards the sea breeze and I'd run down the promenade there was the the garden so steps and stuff used to run

down there gently and then then go on to the prom and go at one end and then go back the other end and then back so I'd be jogging for maybe half an hour to an hour and then come home and yeah it was nice you know part of me was quite like to do that again that particular run you know go back there and run down that bit again nostalgic maybe that's what it is nostalgia but having something that I was obsessed with was it all used to do when I was I'd say probably

eight years old this is when I lived in the house that my nanny granddad moved into and my little brother was born when I was eight or the day before I was eight and we lived there probably for another quite a few months quite a while maybe a year even nearly because I probably moved and then I started going to school in the September at the other place at the the new school for the last two years before going to high school yeah and I we had a park that was because where I lived it

was basically a housing estate and was a council but not basically it was a council housing estate and when I moved in when we the family moved in it was basically it was in the process of being built not our house that was fully built that would have been weird but yeah that was built yeah definitely was built and can you imagine my little brother was there for the place wasn't built for the first three months he thought that he thought the plumber was his dad the plumber was always around plumbing I so I figured

yeah so there was there was a park quite often with housing estates and council places they'll put a park in or they'll leave a park and maybe it was already there and they'll kind of work around it you know so there was this park which was 10 minute walk from the house probably less to be fair probably six or seven minutes five minutes even it wasn't wasn't far now I used to go there and just run around the park continuously or jog around on my own just jog continuously and when I got really hot I

dropped me top put me take me top off or something or my jumper or my thermals my anorak skis whatever whatever I was sort of wearing I used to put it on one bit and then I'd run around towards it and I could keep going and going and going and going and going and going like a Jewish old buddy there was no stopping me literally I just could keep going for hours I didn't so how would I know no I did I did um I'd do it until it was dark you know that that kind

of darkness that doesn't seem dark but you know it's getting dark there's something really beautiful about it when you're outside and it's starting to especially in the summer or maybe you know April but you know it's it's getting dark but it's not it's still nice it's nice weather and you're outside and you can feel that the light is changing but you're almost part of nature you're almost part of the air I felt like I was part of the park like I was you know part of the world you know oxygen and all that stuff like

I was almost connected and I'd just be jogging slowly around the park and gently it would be getting just a little bit darker every time but it felt nice on the eyelids because it's just I've always been quite fond of closing my eyes and having a bit of less light you know just a bit of bit of a break from sunlight although I'm a big fan of sunlight I do like it it's value it's very valuable and especially living in England don't don't always get to see the sun as regularly as perhaps would like you

can go sometimes seems like weeks without really seeing the sun obviously it's there it's still light outside but it's a very very special thing but it's also nice to be able to just run and feel the temperature just drop in a little bit the quietness but maybe interrupted by crickets not people playing cricket but cricket the the animals and just that calmness I used to just I enjoyed it I really did I know I was eight and you might think well how do you remember what you did when you was eight what well we often

remember things that are important to us something that had a an effect an emotional effect and that did for me running around that field was it had an emotional effect one that has stayed with me and maybe that's why I moved towards meditation and buddhism and stuff because I was already doing it I was already meditating but I was doing it through jogging and when I had a when I was at the school I moved when we moved when I was about nine there was a school it was quite a long distance to walk and

I would take probably an hour sometimes longer to walk home because I was doing walking meditation I didn't know at the time that it was walking meditation because I never heard of walking meditation although I'll be a liar if I said I never heard of meditation because I used to watch Kung Fu the TV show and Kane or Kung Fu used to meditate so that was very vivid in my mind but I don't think intellectually I understood really all I knew is that it felt calming I felt more relaxed and walking really slowly it felt

like I was already home from school and this is before I wasn't old enough to have a paper around or anything so it was a case of just walking honestly I get home sometimes about we finish school what half three I get home at five o'clock sometimes it's just something ridiculous like it's so slow it was a half hour walk yeah it was definitely a half hour walk I'd say 25 minute half hour but I'd really drag it out go very very very very slow and I enjoyed it the peacefulness of it just to feel

calm and because you know when I was a kid highly highly uh strung and this helped me to relax to calm down as did reading as well which is why I'm trying to move towards being able to read more it's just when there's so much to do there's so much the website's never ending the planning the production all the different things that go into this is non-stop it's just loads of stuff and that's part of the being obsessed thing you know I need to be obsessed with it otherwise I need to have something to be

obsessed with and this is it it's better than being obsessed with a human because at least this is because that could be quite well very unhealthy couldn't it so this is something that that gives my life meaning and I've been obsessed with other things in the past martial arts comedy website building I mean I you know I did that it lasted about a year but wow was I obsessed I'm talking all day every day all I thought about was building websites really really obsessed on a much a much higher level than this but it was

new it was like no it's the the first the novelty part of being obsessed with something and this is a different kind of this is like my whole life you know every aspect of my life is kind of affected by what I do by the podcasts by the recordings by the videos that I'm going to be doing as well I think the difference between this and the other obsessions that I had in the past is I wasn't helping anybody before you know I was obsessed with the occult that wasn't helping anybody including myself probably uh

martial arts that was helping me wasn't wasn't helping anyone else the comedy I suppose there's a little bit of that's bringing a bit of humor and stuff to some people's lives that like me but ultimately it was a self-absorbed obsession martial arts again what else the websites building websites that was although to be fair I got obsessed with building websites but I all I wanted to do was build charity websites and put together a charity online and raise money for charity so you could say that that was a step forward towards being obsessed with something

that was also also useful for society or for some people something bigger than me and then I started this 15 years ago 2006 and this is way bigger than me and yeah I got obsessed with it but it started off with free pain relief helping people so that was what I got obsessed with and then it I wanted it just to be one thing I didn't want to be doing lots of different things but I ended up I'll do that I ended up doing relaxation groups at drug rehab centers and pain relief sessions with people

and then building the website and doing recordings and videos online so doing all that at the same time and eventually leading me to only doing the online stuff but also led to me becoming a counselor and training for three years at university full-time but I was still obsessed with this this is the thing that I was most interested in and the weird thing about it is back then none of my recordings are available from that time isn't that weird well okay it's a few but hardly anything from those years you know 2008 2009 2010 2007

they're gone they're dead sort almost disappeared so I wonder you know in another five ten years all the stuff that I'm doing at the moment will that just be glad that will have cobwebs on it and I'll be doing something new thinking I can't believe I used to do that it's possible I hope not I like to think that some of the stuff I'm doing is useful or the good news for the microphone situation I know I mentioned this well I found a microphone that I'm going to be getting in the next month or two

hopefully it all goes to plan and it literally will record will focus just on me background sounds should be really really really at a minimum which is a brilliant thing I think it's brill and some other stuff so yeah so being obsessed I suppose I don't get to see the downside of obsession because firstly my obsession isn't dangerous it's not aimed at a human I'm not you know it's not illegal I'm not obsessed with something that's a crime or anything like that but also because I don't have any I don't have any family or friends

in much you know that can be affected by my obsession with this so Andre doesn't seem to mind I wonder where he is the moment I hear him so I'm guessing he must be in the bedroom asleep on the bed or asleep somewhere in the bedroom because there's other places he sleeps hmm what how long have I been talking for wow 78 minutes that's gone quickly isn't it so the other thing I've done is I have changed my website and there are now a thousand podcast recordings available to both stream for free or you can

download them for one pound each so you can stream for free or download for one pound each and they're all organized I'm still working on certain aspects of it but they are yeah it's all completed as far as well I'm pretty sure it's all done but there's more to do but yeah so there's over a thousand about eleven twelve hundred and I suppose I'm hoping that to help support this to help support this service keep it going allowing me to move forward and pay for the not just for the upkeep also you know the equipment

and everything and and also to move forward so I can start living a life you know and start to pay pay for me to do this for a living so I guess if if my listeners even if just bought one downloaded one recording a week paid one pound a week to download maybe maybe your favorite recording of the week that'd go a long way if if if a lot of listeners did that it'd go a long way towards me being able to progress so that's why I've done it there it's still a free service you

still stream for free listen and like Netflix if they didn't charge you anything to stream it would be free even if they said you could stream for free but you can download it you can download the episode but it's going to cost you $4.

99 you'd still class it as a free service wouldn't you because you can go on there and listen and watch everything for free as you can with the recordings you can listen to everything for free you can also download them and keep them forever and ever and ever so I suppose that would be useful to do especially if there's one that you really like so download it and save it on your phone or your laptop or wherever that way it won't get lost because another benefit of going to my website is with a lot of

podcasts when you you go on to my let's say let me bore you to sleep podcast you only get the the last 250 episodes maybe the last 150 now there's nearly 500 episodes on there so they are all available on my website to listen to so you can listen to number 48 for example it might might be impossible to do that online on the podcast hosts but you can do that on my website and it's easy you literally just you can either search for it or just just go forward a few pages till you find

it and I'll just keep adding the new recordings as I do them upload them put them in and all's good gives you an opportunity to stream for free listen for free of course you might decide just to keep going to your wherever you listen and there is actually a page two pages in fact on my website one is called podcast playlists or my playlists I forget and all of the different podcasts that I have just the playlist so basically the most recent ones at the top so I already had most of them already on there

before I've just now moved them into a different place so they're still on the same pages so if you've got a link to the 28 days stop smoking or the deep sleep whisper playlist it's still there okay still there just means that you um so if you've still got that address saved click on it it will take you there otherwise if you haven't just go into the menu click on my playlists and they're listed all of them you just click on the one you want I've also got a page it's an old page actually but

it still works I didn't realize I didn't have it in the menu um which is my podcasts which is kind of the thing but it's broken up into the different podcast hosts so you want to say well I want to look at all the podcasts I've got on Apple uh podcasts or all on Spotify and it will bring them up or if you go down it will do a different like a different way of looking at it so it's only got the top four or five podcasts that I have on there and that's all I've

done on there I mean I suppose I could do the others but these ones are the most popular so I just kept them at that but it's another way it's another easier way of just going to them so I'm always looking at trying to improve the system or the service yeah so I put quite a lot of work into that over the last few days because you know my voice wasn't up to doing anything so I thought I'd let my hands do something instead again which could sound wrong but over the coming months here's the

plan the plan is to get the decent microphone so the sound will be better the plan is also to get the mixing the podcast mixer which means the sound will be better it'll be louder and it'll be it'll be um just more professional I'm trying to get this to people more professional and I know that some people possibly would listen and thinking yeah but you're not professional why do you want it to sound unprofessional when you're not professional and in a way I get it I understand what you're saying but it I've got no argument

for that no but the okay my other podcasts some of them are quite serious so you know I'm quite I am kind of a professional I'm just a little bit different from what you'd normally get you know I'm qualified uh I've got knowledge I've got experience and I guess I just don't take myself uh too seriously well at least I try not to and I've just got a different I've got my way of doing things it doesn't mean it's the right way or the wrong way it's just it's just how I do it and I

can't be somebody else and they can't be me this is what a pointless sentence I can't be other people and other people can't be me neither so I guess although I might not take myself particularly seriously I take what I do very serious and you know I have a dream that it's not even a dream so much it has to happen it needs to I need to be doing this as a living earning a living doing it so that I can feel more relaxed so that I can have more fun doing it and so that

I can spread my wings a bit and yeah it needs to happen I'll put 15 years of and I've enjoyed it as well I'm not oh poor me 15 years of my life I gave up my youth for you no I don't mean it that way I've enjoyed it not all the time but I've been you know I've enjoyed um the process and I've enjoyed the learning and the experience and everything helping people hopefully but it has to progress everything has to progress and I can't go back to making recordings with really bad microphones and

I don't want to go back to making videos that are really bad quality pictures so with that I need to you know improve what I do and that takes work effort planning and money you know this is this is my profession now this is my what it's going to be it's not but it's going to be it's moving towards that and the quicker the better as far as I'm concerned you know and I just want it to be as good as possible because when I know that the quality of the sound is good and and

the videos that I'm going to make in the future that they're good quality videos I am going to feel better within myself I feel more confident but also probably feel more enthusiastic to make more you know that's why I've been pleased with the the the quality of my podcasts have definitely improved as in the sound maybe not it's not been loud enough at times I'm working on that that is going to be worked upon and especially in the next month or so I'll try and get the volume as loud as possible without like really bad

like background hissing or distortion of the audio quality so I've been looking into that and there's certain things that can be done and I will do them so yeah it's going to be good this as I said earlier I feel almost like been crawling for long enough time to start to learn to walk so that will be the learning to walk process will be moving from where I am now to being a full time podcaster or hypnotist or whatever you want to call me to be doing this full time producing recordings and videos as well

so I'm looking to get back into that I've got a plan for that as well and more more so than I had before I've been studying for my kind of YouTube comeback as it were and I got some ideas a lot of it is copying other people to be fair but not copying their content but there's some ideas out there not from a hypnosis perspective but from sort of storytelling that I've seen and I thought well I've already done the audio for this I just need the video and so there's some sort of really popular

videos out there that tell a story and because I've already done the I'm not talking about the bedtime story time I mean just maybe one of the relaxation for stress podcasts when I'm talking about a subject and I could just take clips from that and put it into a video when I'm talking about a particular subject such as self-belief for example and have that as the subject matter and put a video together made from clips that are usable you could actually pay it's a website so you can pay them monthly and you can use video

clips copyright free and there's quite a few videos out there using that that are doing it and I've seen it and I thought you know what why don't I give that a go what it's going to need is a learning quite a bit of learning as far as video editing is concerned but I've you know I think I've done quite well learning how to use the ipad pro I've done quite I think I've done well learning how to edit audio in a much more professional way than before although maybe not loud enough and I've learnt

the basics with iMovie but I'm not a big huge fan of the apps for editing video what I'm going to need is to do things kind of go back to how I used to do things I need a powerful machine that isn't dependent upon apps especially when I've got videos that are lasting an hour long so I'm going to look in well I'm already looking into that that process the the wheels are already rolling on that one I'm thinking of also starting a whatsit page or I forget the name of it not fallopian what's it

called where you can pay monthly to support me and then I do a you get sort of certain things every month so I've already got a page up running but I don't promote it so I might revisit that page I just need to you know put all these things together so that's the plan that is or what is the plan so I'm part of the plan so by the end of this year if not sooner I'll be walking and after 15 years of crawling I think that will transform my life and open up so many

more possibilities and the thing is that also then means that I'll be creating more and more recordings and videos that will help more and more people so everyone's a winner everyone's a winner baby that's a way so that's it that's from me I'm gonna go thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye