#569 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen and you can safely close your eyes.

Do you think maybe I need a new introduction? Maybe I do. For um 2021. Maybe.

Maybe I do. Maybe. So hello, welcome as we get closer to the end of the year.

Which is what always used to be one of my favorite times. You know getting closer to new year's eve, new year's day and then you know a new year. Andre's having a munch.

He's having some dinner. Eating some dry food. He eats twice a day now.

I give him two bags of cat food. But I do also need him to eat the dry food because it's good for I don't know it's just got things in it that the cat food don't have. So the dry food is specifically for ferrets and it's good for his teeth.

Cleans his teeth. It's good for his indigestion as well. I think it's like a fiber and stuff like that in it.

So he would prefer it right now if I gave him some cat food. But I'm gonna let him have some dry food and I'll get him some cat food later. Plus I'm running out.

I'll have to perhaps go and buy some more tomorrow. Anyway today's a bit of a weird day. What a weird day.

It's just and I'm not saying this in a negative way because I want to talk about my nan. It's the anniversary of her passing away six years ago and so Nanny Newland wherever you are I miss you. You know it's pretty much and I do I miss her.

So I thought I'd talk about her a little bit. So this isn't going to be you know a negative or a sad recording. I'm sure I've mentioned her many times over the years but I thought it'd be nice to just tell you a little bit about her if you're interested.

I mean it's not going to be interesting because there's a boring recording and you're supposed to get bored and fall asleep. However it's not boring to me so and I was just lying in bed thinking about what I could do and I thought yeah this would be a kind of an ideal time in a sense. I mean I'm now it's been six years so I'm kind of there was quite a while where I couldn't really talk about her.

I didn't really want to talk about her but now yeah I do you know I didn't see her for at Christmas for probably the last eight years because she used to go to me aunts. So I used to go to visit her before Christmas and see her you know the week before and we'd have something perhaps whatever dinner with or something like that and I remember the last time I saw her it was literally just before Christmas because you know it's the 29th of December now so I saw her probably the week before Christmas and she was she couldn't see she could hardly hear and so I was really close to her like really physically close to her so she could hear me and she just said I don't want to travel.

She couldn't she didn't want to travel she wanted to stay at home but what excuse me what I heard was she didn't like the traveling.

It wasn't a huge distance probably an hour and a half which is quite a long time I suppose if you don't like it but she'd enjoy it once she was there because she was treated lovely you know my nan my aunt and my uncle would wait on her hand and foot and never really understood that expression hand and foot I mean I did wait in at college catering college don't use your feet it's not unless it's a circus restaurant anyway she I remember because she was she was blind to the point of she had a

bit of peripheral so she could it was almost she described it to me as she could see an image moving it was like really thick fog but she could see so if I was sitting the opposite so on the settee opposite her and of course being as you know I'd make faces at her and stuff knowing she couldn't because I'm very childish I didn't imagine that a 45 year old man pulling faces at his grandmother because she wasn't able to see him doing it no I didn't do that but sometimes I'd come in and she

couldn't hear me either so her hearing really went as well and this is due to age but other things as well and she she'd actually let me into her flat she was in sheltered accommodation and I'd be sitting there and then I was sitting outside on the settee she was talking to me and then I'd get up and sit down closer to her so she could see me or so she could hear me and she said oh Jason it's you I mean who did you think was sitting there who did you think you'd let into

your flat an hour ago so it's like I think she thought it's my dad or someone and so yeah she couldn't I've got a little bit worried there like you need to know who you're letting in here yeah remember she said to me said she stood up and she picked up a baseball bat and said what are you gonna do I'll knock them out anyone comes in I'll knock them out I'll have it with them I'll have a ruck I'll knock her and she didn't she didn't say that the thing about my nan is she's

probably and I'm only going to talk from my perspective okay I'm not talking in a way that I want people to you know uh my nan's nicer than your nan my dad's tougher than your dad I'm not quite in that zone but got a bit of a cough still but she was really kind always always pleased to see me even when I stayed with her overnight and the morning would come and we both knew what I'd been doing in the bedroom on my own you know I was a teenager and just like we just carried

on anyway and I used to because I used to live in the house I was watching telly we were living in the house I used to live in the house that she lived in so I lived there for for about a year and then she moved in with my granddad and we moved to a bigger house because my little brother was born I mean there was no room for him he was either that or get rid of some of the kids I think that's what dad's first option but Andre what's he doing he's caught up

in a carrier bag I might have to go and help him I think he's tangled okay Andre I'm gonna help you oh he's turned it into a game he didn't want my help he wants me to chase him Andre come here come here hey no I can't compete with a carrier bag oh he's coming in now Andre Oi I'm gonna cut your toenails That's what I'm gonna do I know you don't want me to do it So come on You'll have to relax a little bit while I cut your toenails So I'm telling everyone about

your Your great-grand great-grandmother Nanny Newland yeah you would have loved her She would have loved you as well Yes she would My nan was a big cat lover She had She not only had her own cats But she also had cats from other other households Would actually come and visit They would They'd visit Not only would they visit I'd come in to her house And they'd be sitting on her lap The neighbours cats Right I'm cutting his toenails I'm not gonna cut them a lot Just gonna Just enough to trim them a little bit He's

such a wiggler I thought he was being really good I don't know why He probably He probably thinking Daddy's talking to that invisible friend again I better be quiet I better just keep still He's talking to his maple leaf friend He hasn't taken his medication There you go That's one hand done Do the next hand That's one Only four more toes left Four more fingers left Three left He's keeping completely still He's a good boy And Two left now And he hasn't moved once The very last one It's a little one Probably doesn't need doing

but Might as well do it anyway while I'm here And besides I haven't managed to make him bleed yet One last chance I can't quite get to that one Andre Just that's it Sorry I have to contort you a little bit The thing is That's it if you just stay still there I can't see where it is Oh there it is Luminec That's it Done One of his feet Which is weird He's had this before He's got what seems like A nail coming out of it But from A different part of the thing Like on

his pad But it might be a scab He might have cut it Or One of the pads on his feet Or his hands He's got his toenails And he's got these little pads Next to the toenails And then He's got some more pads in the middle And then he's got a big pad Right where I guess like the heel of the foot Would be But I'm not sure Why that's there Andre Because I think I tried to pull it out Once before And my friend said no it's probably a scab Don't want to pull a

scab out He does quite like having his feet Massaged though don't you You do You don't like to admit it though do you He doesn't like to admit That he likes being cuddled And he likes cuddles and kisses And he likes me giving him attention It's almost Like he's too big for that I'm a big boy now But Andre You don't realise you're never too big For kisses and cuddles You'll always be Your daddy's little baby You will always be You will always be daddy's little boy And that's something you're going to have to remember

Because Even in two years time When you're older than me Because you're probably Just a little bit younger than me at the moment Probably about 45 I suppose In a fair bit of years But in a couple of years time You're going to be probably 60 Won't you You'll be grandad's You'll be grandaddy age Yeah But you'll always be my little baby boy No matter how big you get And you don't want to get any bigger Although you might get a bigger tummy If you really feel like your uncle You'll get a big Not his

uncle is a ferret And his uncle at one point had a Big belly And he was dragging it along the ground Then a couple of months later The belly was gone It just It wasn't pregnant It was just a belly I don't know what it was about Yeah so my nan was very She was very sensitive But she didn't show it I don't know because her parents Her kids used to moan at her Like oh mum She'd say something In a way that I would Never talk to A parent Because I wouldn't get away with

it My dad would Tell me off probably if I spoke to him like that But she put up with it I don't know why but she did And they all loved her And she loved them But when she was watching the news She'd cry She saw something on the news That was She saw something on the news That was horrible That's just watching the news isn't it But if there was something Like a major catastrophe She'd cry And I'm sure lots of people do maybe But I've never seen anyone do that And it was usually

Quite often about foreign people Like things like refugees And Foreign people What sounds wrong does it Just saying the words foreign people Like racist No We're all foreign aren't we And she was As far as her life goes What she's told me is She was born When she was born All her brothers and sisters were older than her And I think she was born In East London In Leyton Stone kind of area Which is near where I used to live I don't know much about her parents I know that her dad worked on the roads

And he was Irish And her mum was Irish as well So they both came from Ireland To work in London Not sure what her mum did But From the sounds of it Her mum was a mother Because she had Loads of kids Loads I think there was like 10 or 11 of them So she had lots of brothers and sisters And then Ultimately lots and lots of Nieces and nephews And then she had 5 children of her own So she met She told me One of her dreams She wanted to do was Join the Peace

Corps When she was a little girl Or even when she was a teenager She was getting older She wanted to join the Peace Corps But instead she Met my grandad and got married And shortly afterwards She was pregnant With my Oldest uncle Who passed away a couple of weeks ago And He was born during the Second World War While my grandad was out Fighting in the Second World War So my nan Was bringing up One child on her own During the war Had no contact With my grandad for Something like 5 years Was told that

he was missing in action So for the last 3 years or so of the war She Assumed that he was Gone, that she had lost him And it turned out that she hadn't He was in a camp And he was released at the end of the war And came home But for that period of time She didn't know And she was looking after I think she was looking after Other members of the family Possibly her own mother And my grandad's parents Or grandad's mother Nanny Waker Who lived to be about 99 as well She told

me sometimes The kind of things that happened During that period And she said That she went She'd go round the corner To the shops With my uncle Eddie He was a little baby Go round the corner to the shops Come back and the next door neighbours house Was flattened by bombs By a bomb Doodle bugs or whatever they're called And like wow I can't even I can imagine it but I can't really imagine it I can't imagine it emotionally It's just beyond anything That I've Had to deal with During my lifetime In my country You

know I know that other parts of the world Those kind of things are still happening It's awful But my nan was like She said that They used to have She had a shelter at the bottom of the garden Like a bomb shelter If there was no Time To get to the underground train station So the underground It's the same as in America You've got the metro Is it a metro?

Or is that France The underground trains In England or in London Our underground trains Ours were the first in the world Was it Brunel That made ours I don't know Or was it Stevie It was someone So They used to take shelter In the tube stations And there'd be no tubes running And the platforms in the tubes Were very long And people would be there They'd be singing They'd have musical instruments And stuff And be huddled together To keep warm And they'd be there While there was bombs being dropped On London During the night And

She said It was quite a nice atmosphere There was Like a spirit of I suppose defiance Survival And I guess If everyone's in the same Situation It doesn't leave room For prejudices For pettiness I guess Do you know what I mean It's You know You owe me ten bob From last week As for me Renting you out my Leopard It doesn't matter now The leopard's gone so's the house Let's just focus on surviving the night On May Day And there was people from Different places All huddled together They weren't from different places They were from

the surrounding area But originally Different countries And stuff Not sure how many Germans There were I don't know what the situation Would have been During the second world war For German people That were living in England Must have been very awkward So She said It was a good atmosphere But probably would have been Nice if there wasn't bombs Like Well yeah but then you wouldn't Be down there if there was no bombs would you She said No but it was so nice She said She didn't say that So it was a very positivity Very positive

In an extremely Unpositive time And people helped Each other That's what she said People helped each other out You know If you see any of these Disaster movies on TV Or in movies and stuff The first thing that happens is looting Seems to occur But that didn't happen Or if it did I don't know of it It didn't really happen During the second world war Maybe it was because no one really had anything But there were still shops With stuff in wasn't there Harrods and all the big There has always been Rich people and wealthy

people about But it was more about helping each other Rather than Taking what you can It was more about giving what you can So she got through that period I didn't know much about her life As a child I mean she didn't have anything She grew up in I suppose Relative poverty in a sense But She said she was happy She was a happy child And She married my Grandad As soon as she was married to him And She was kind of Set for life in a sense of He was already A retired Soldier So

he already had his Pension he had done 10 years or 12 years in the army He was 29 And He was dating my Nan from About 2 years And then war broke out And they got married He had already gone abroad He had been called up And he had a weekend leave Near the beginning of the war He came home They got married And My Uncle Eddie was Passed on from him To her And He was born 9 months later Or 8 and a half months later I don't know the exact time So she had

5 years or whatever To Sort of kind of to deal with things on her own But not on her own She had family, friends You know neighbours People got together And helped each other So people weren't really On their own There's probably more People on their own now than there would have been During a war In the sense of If there was a bomb Raid you couldn't stay in your home You had to leave your home And you had to go to the shelter You really didn't have Any choice So therefore you had to Congregate

With other people It was forced upon you So I had a similar thing Well it's not similar at all But when I was Living in the YMCA I had my little flat Well it was a studio apartment And I was quite solitary But we went through this period When the fire alarms Kept going off Like weekly They'd go off It wasn't a test Because a test would be done During the day when the staff Were there This would go off at like 11.

30 at night Or something It's only then That I got to see the people That were living there And almost We'd be standing outside In the cold In the rain But it was almost quite funny as well As just Getting to say hello to people Hello again Was it you this time?

Still learning to cook It was quite nice In a weird way So she Moved on My Grandad came back They My Grandad Handed over Quite a few more other kids to her as well Five in total And I don't know if I think a lot of people Moved out of East London Because East London was flattened And my Nan and Grandad were I think I don't know if they moved before or after the war I don't know but I think they moved Possibly during She moved up to North London I think Again I'm making part

of this up I'm filling in gaps But I know that East London Was really Almost demolished So people had to live somewhere And the government Started building houses Moving further Away from London Like Essex So that people had somewhere to live And they built these flats In I think the 50s These big high rise blocks of flats That Lived thousands of people And all joined together by these Little bridges The whole idea of it was It was a failure It was a governmental failure But they were trying something new Thinking if they put people together

There'd be From different cultures and stuff That people would integrate And it would work But it didn't work And the people that Actually did it Admitted that it didn't go to plan They thought it was going to be Like a beautiful thing And people would Look after the place and it was going to be Like a wonderful experience And I'm sure it was for Many people But it didn't quite turn out Squashing people into An area Into big buildings Apparently it wasn't Ideal So I don't know As a kid I grew up I lived on

a council estate In Newcastle And I lived in a high rise block of flats A huge block of flats On a big council estate Exactly like the one I just described It was built in the 50s After the war Everything's after the war isn't it really Apart from Those times before And I Don't remember it being Particularly bad Really, I lived there And It was rough I was If I'd have stayed living there To adulthood I would have been a different person To who I am now I would have lived a Very Very, very different

life To the one I've lived If I'd have stayed living in a children's home Until I was 16 I would be a very, very different person Now And I'd have lived a very different life Like Extremely different Like nowhere near the way it's been Because The two things that I was back then And What I'm not now Is I was tough And rough And aggressive And I'm none of those things But I was then So when I was Before the age of 7 I was I wouldn't say feral But I was definitely I'm not scared

of any child That no children would scare me Couldn't So I wasn't scared I couldn't be bullied I wasn't scared of other children Even I say even bigger children Everyone was bigger than me I was the size of a peanut But I learnt to be scared I was turned into a proper wuss From the age of 7 To 15 When I left school I was tamed Then turned into a A proper wimp And so I ended up living A I don't know A very passive Life really Which is probably good I've not hurt anybody Not

gone to prison None of that stuff But My life would have been different If I hadn't If I'd have I thought this was supposed to be about your grandmother Yeah I know I'm coming back I'll tell you one of the reasons Why I've behaved so much as an adult Is because of my Nan I didn't want to upset her I didn't want her to To be disappointed in me I never let her know Any of the naughty things I got up to When I was an adult So it was much easier Because I wasn't living

anywhere near her So I was living in London And I could do what I wanted to do To a degree Nothing bad but just Living my own life And She didn't get to see Or hear rumours about me Or anything like that Because she lived in a small town Which is where I used to live From the age of 7 to 18 19 So for about 12 years I lived in this little town And then I moved to London for about 12 years And then I came back And lived in another place And then I

lived here So I've kind of You can break my Break my life up into 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Different Places Not really but 6 7 8 9 I've lived in quite a few different places But I didn't want to disappoint my Nanny My Nanny Newland Why do you say Nanny Newland But you say your name is Nanny No you say your name is Jason Newland I think the reason The reason I Stressed the Newland part Is because I wanted people to know how to Spell my name When they searched Google Or searched my website

And they put in my name correctly That was kind of it And then To be fair It's kind of stuck And I Found myself Talking like that All the time And nobody else does I'm the only one Newland Newland What the hell are you talking about Newland You're a silly Billy So yeah I So yeah I think I can I can sort of Thank my Nan in a way for me Sort of being a good boy But on the same side I kind of almost wish I had Not Being a bit more naughty at times

I don't know if that makes sense Just wish I'd given in to some of my More basic Instincts But I didn't And I was good I was a good boy Mmm Ish Ish But I think I Learned I think Having at least one Woman in my life Who I respected Was useful I think really useful Because all the other women left I had like God Blimey The amount of female Mother figures I had Growing up A nice handful Honestly it was a few Including the biological one And Fostering and stuff like that So And the

second mother But they all left Or I was taken away from them You know different things So with my Nan Although I didn't really know her Or get to know her until I was 7 She had been around Since I was born She used to visit me When I was a baby And when I was in foster care From the age of 3 Or 6 months old Till I was 2 She used to visit me She even Visited me in the children's home See I don't remember that But So she's always been around really I

just didn't know it And then since the age of 7 She was in my life A lot when I was a little kid When I was growing up In that little town she was always around Every single Family occasion She was there Whether it was her house or Our house The family Every Christmas, every birthday Bearing in mind there was How many of us were there?

4 kids 4 kids?

Me, him, him, 4 kids So every birthday Every one of our birthdays 4 And then my dad's And his wife, 5, 6 6 birthdays Both their birthdays, 7, 8 So at least 8, 9 For my step mum's mum 9 So at least 9 times a year Just on birthdays We would all get together Christmas Christmas Boxing day New Year's day Easter, I don't know about Easter day But various different times during the year And pretty much Every, I'd see her Throughout the week She'd be there, she'd probably be helping My step mum out She'd, you

know, they'd both Grandad and they'd both be there And I'd visit as well So, you know, we used to visit And our cousins Were there And so, you know, there's lots of Lots of family Where she was there She was always around, which was great And I used to spend time With her, on my own And I used to like Visit in that house because That was the only House I actually was happy living in Sort of really Throughout my life I was only there for a year But then my nan and grandad moved in

there And it still had The happiness, the happy Smell The happy feel The comfortable, safe Safe feel, yeah Safety And Even though my grandad, he was Probably about 5 foot 8 But You'd feel safe with him Even in his 70s or whatever He was, you know Because He was tough He was one of these That didn't put up with rubbish from people He just, he wasn't a bully But he was You'd look at him walking down the road And you'd think, oh he's this little man Not little, he's alright But he wasn't big, you know,

he was He was much Smaller than all of my uncles and my dad My dad was A lot bigger than him And he was slim But he was an ex-boxer He was a boxer during the war In the army, so Not during the war, you don't have time off to go Boxing during a war, do you He was a boxer During his time In the army And he was A champion So he was really good at it So he had His story is weird I'll tell you He stopped I think he had An incident where

I don't know if it was My nan and grand, my nan nearly got hit By a car, but they He always used to cycle And it's a little town It's fairly safe to kind of Do anything really, generally But Something happened I don't know if it was my nan Nearly got hit by a car Maybe she did get clipped And my granddad said, that's it No more cycling And that was it, the bikes got put away He said that's it I think he was She was probably in her late 60s, he was in his 70s

And they put the bikes Away and that was it, they never cycled again Because of the danger of it It wasn't a case of You're not cycling We're not cycling That's that generation Some people say A man telling A woman what to do Admittedly it probably was Kind of like that, but It was different, it was a safety Situation and also He He did it too So it wasn't a case of You know I'm going to do what I want, but you do what I say He was so Concerned about her safety That he said

That's it, let's put the bikes away, we don't Cycle anymore It might have been a Conversation where he said What do you think, let's sit down But I'm guessing it probably wasn't It was just like that's it And what he said went But He didn't speak very often So when he did speak People did tend to listen But he had this thing It was on his bike When he was still cycling And There was Some young Man, probably In his twenties or something I think I think He, it might have been someone in a car

Thought that my Grandad Maybe he Pulled, I don't know, I think he might have Cut my grandad off, my grandad Shouted something I don't know, and the car pulled up And the man got out Started having a go at this 75 Year old Or 72 year old man, yeah Which was my grandad And he started threatening my grandad And my grandad knocked him out Just punched him once And he was unconscious Now Never ever known my grandad Ever to do anything like that My nan told me about it And But it was something That no

one else They probably all knew, my dad never mentioned No one, but my nan told me Because, you know, I was close to my nan And she just, she told me the story And said she couldn't This man obviously just, we saw this old man So he could pick on him And start giving him abuse And he was wrong Very wrong So that's what my grandad was like But this is supposed to be about my nanny So Really To be fair I could sum up my nan With the words love Just full of love Full

of kindness Wished the best for people Prayed For All of us Prayed for For For people to be well For people to be happy Even people she didn't even know She was very connected To her church And so she used to Be very involved with her church And That was her I think With her generation Or any generation that gets through Really Huge times Like a war And I think It can Increase people's faith I guess it could go the other way but She She kept it with her And I think one of the good

things That I quite respected about my grandad is He was A strong personality And he's Quite strong with his views But he never tried to stop my nan From doing anything she wanted to do As long as it wasn't riding on a bike In a busy road You know So she'd walk He'd walk with her to the church And then he'd leave her there Come home and he'd walk back To pick her up And Sometimes I'd do it, I'd go to church with her So my grandad didn't need to Go and collect her Not for

that reason Just I liked spending time with her So I used to go to church even though I wasn't I was I lived In a children's home Run by catholic nuns So I was Technically a catholic Well I would have been Baptised or christened or whatever As a catholic because I was going to church Every single day when I lived there But once I moved out of the children's home I didn't really practice it Because I didn't have to No one was forcing me to do it so I didn't do it But I used to

go to church with my nan Because I wanted to Be with her It wasn't about the church really It was I quite liked her showing me off This is my grandson And just She didn't sound like that But you understand Perhaps she used those words And I just liked Getting her there Sometimes we'd go on a Sunday Lunch time rather than a Sunday evening And I'd go there with her And then we'd go and have A cup of tea And maybe some scones and stuff And she'd meet one of her friends Or my auntie Or

her My grandad's sister would go And It was nice Because She'd pay for the tea and the scones So it was free I just used to like it I used to like spending time with her When there was no one else there I used to prefer just me and her But then I'm like that I think I'm like that generally More than two people is too many people Depending on what you're doing Of course there's some things Can be more enjoyable with three Or ten I mean you wouldn't You know if you was at a

party Two people isn't really a party is it That's not what I meant When I said free It's you know What time is it I go to the shop My friend's come back and he's unwell We're going to go to the shop He's going to get himself some chocolate I remember my nan Even Even When I was in my thirties I got across the road With her And she would grab my hand She'd try and hold my hand Not for her She was holding my hand for me To help me across the road To help

me across the road And Another thing she used to do Which used to really annoy me And something that I've seen When I used to work in a chip shop In the middle of town I used to see this a lot Is old people Trying to outrun The traffic Like trying to run across the road Dodging cars You know literally cars coming What is so important On the other side of the road That you need to run I don't run across the road And I'm in my fifties Well I'm fifty I definitely won't be doing

it When I'm in my eighties And my nan used to do that I remember once I got distracted We were waiting to cross the road I managed to get her hand And get my hand out of hers Because she's got A vice grip Seriously And It was Almost like holding hands with Spiderman I can't let go Spiderman Spiderman And I was distracted I looked over And I looked back And I saw my nan Seriously She was holding her skirt up And she was running And it was almost like a caricature Like going in slow motion

This car Driving And I don't know why Why do cars speed up When they see people in the road When they see a pedestrian crossing Why do cars speed up I never understood that There was that slow motion She was running One leg in the air And the next leg in the air It was just It was like a Monty Python sketch And I remember saying to her What are you doing And she said what I remember it was the other side of the road So she couldn't hear me What is so important At the

other side of the road I remember I got upset Once with a girlfriend of mine We were holding hands And she pulled me into a road When there was traffic And she decided she was going to try and run across And she pulled me out And I pulled her back And I had a proper go at her Don't you ever do that to me again Don't pull me into a busy road I've survived this long By learning not to get run over It's something that takes a lot of practice Especially in the 70s Drinking and

driving Was actually expected In the 70s You know It was almost encouraged So you had to be careful When you were crossing the road In the 70s So I've learned I've had to be careful I've had to learn to manoeuvre She's pushing me Pulling me in the road I was actually a bit annoyed That she was so strong That she could pull me in the road I didn't actually pull her back on the pavement I actually asked her Please can you step back on the pavement I couldn't pull her It wasn't because she was heavy

She was so strong So strong And heavy No she wasn't She wasn't heavy She was lovely She was my brother She wasn't my brother That was weird But yeah my Nan was An amazing person And I feel lucky Because Out of all the different people That I've had in my life There's been some lovely people No doubt But having someone in my life For so long She's the only person That actually was constant Always there You know Always there Even when I didn't really need her to be there She was there It wasn't really Until

I was 16 That I really needed her Because that's when my step mum left Who I was really close to And then I had no one No female In my life So my Nan Kind of took that role on In a sense of being my guide My female guide I suppose like a mother figure Really I mean she was my Nan And I always thought of her as my Nan But there was like a bit of Mothering going on there as well I don't mean breast feeding I'm just talking You know sort of Emotion She

cared And She was constant You know And I spent a lot of time with her When I lived in the town Visit her regularly And Even when I moved away I still come back regularly And see her and speak to her on the phone Yeah So here's to my Nanny Newland And Yeah That's it So I'm going to go Yes Thank you for listening And remember to be kind to yourself Because you deserve to be happy And I shall Be back again tomorrow Lots of love And I'm going to say this You know again no

doubt In the next few days But thank you for all your support Thank you for listening If it wasn't for you listening I wouldn't be doing this And I wouldn't have A purpose To my life So thank you Genuinely I mean that So take care Bye