#557 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to let me bore you to sleep with, stop me, this is not, get off, this is not an obscene phone call, I'm actually with a dog that's a dog you could hear it's not me I know I'm not the fittest person but you know I've just walked from the kitchen here I'm not quite that bad I sound like I've run for a bus get down mate get down now his tail's gone what are you doing get off get off leave me alone I'm making a recording now oh so anyway hello welcome to

jasonnewland.com and please only listen when you can safely close your eyes basically I'm looking after my friend's dog for a couple of hours and he goes a little bit nutty when he's up here because he's he's got different toys to play with so he plays with Andre's toys in fact he's ripped one of Andre's toys apart it's like just ripped it apart which he doesn't normally do normally likes to run with it and stuff but this he just ripped his head off which was annoying and and I've been giving him what he likes to eat

is Andre's food so I have to get his Andre's food because he's got two bowls one for dry food one for his wet food and he's got another big thing with watering so I have to get the two foods up onto the table away from the doggy although he's now drinking out of the water but the dry food the ferret pellet food things he loves them so I've been giving them the tiny little things I mean you imagine the size and this is a dog it's got a big head you see the size of Andre.

Andre could fit inside his mouth and probably go to sleep you know it's that kind of he's his head is much bigger than Andre is and and he loves Andre and Andre loves him but but Andre bites him Andre tries to bully him and best will in the world you can only get bitten so many times before you snap and if he snapped Andre that'd be you know that'd just be a possibly irreversible situation so I can't chance it so I've got put I put Andre into the bedroom he's asleep on the bed and which

is how he likes it he likes to have the whole double bed to himself I can't believe something so small can actually hog a whole double bed and the little doggy he's a huge dog very strong he's in the living room with me while my friend's gone to do his stuff so I've got the window open and so I don't want him to get too hot overheated because you know so I've got the window open let the fresh air in so there's a possibility there might be some background sounds as it is sort of half

one in the afternoon but he's now lied down on the floor so he seems to be okay but he was jumping up at me just as I started recording it must be a Andre must have told him that as soon as soon as my dad makes a recording you've got to start making lots of noise as much as possible he really enjoys it I reckon that's what he told him and so yeah hello and welcome to this let me bore you to sleep I haven't made one for a few days I'm not sure when the

last one is that I did it where's the last one I did it let me have a look it would have been the 3rd of December so it's not that long ago it's only the 7th now it's only three days ago blimey three days seems like a long time sometimes it is when you're standing on one foot it's it's just seems a long you know it's only three days I don't know why I suppose because I'm so used to making regular recordings that I'm in the habit of doing them and then when I don't do

them I don't produce anything new for a few days it feels more like a few weeks and I start to think I wonder if I can remember how how to do it and then I remember it's just talking nonsense I'm always gonna be able to do that because that's it's nonsense to other people but this is me being intellectual that's what you don't realise is this is me being clever and you know when I did these recordings the plan was to show the world how intelligent I am and I think I might have failed on

that one I think I might have failed what I did do over the weekend because I didn't want to make any recordings it's Monday now so probably Friday, Saturday, Sunday and this is the first time I really felt like doing anything so here I am doing it but I put together the top 10 of 2020 for each of my podcasts because I thought it might be I don't know interesting for people especially on the podcast that I've done lots so some of the stuff would be almost forgotten you know things from you know maybe six

seven months ago so what I thought I'd do is I'd go through the stats and pick out the top 10 based on views or listens rather plays downloads so that's what I did I did that with the let me bore you to sleep and yeah I mean the number one was number 438 and it might well isolate one but then you think this is number 557 so it's 120 120 episodes up ago but yeah the most latest one was number 4 and 464 500 so the last 100 haven't been very popular brilliant and what really

surprised me was I also did it for the deep sleep whisper what surprised me actually was that where is it oh and he's getting up if I get up he'll get up so I won't get up but it was this one the d d d d d sleep relax like this one one of my podcasts I had a lot more plays on a few individual recordings than any of the others which I don't know just surprised me a little bit just a little bit just a little bit a little bit of falling in love if

I could find it in fact let me I can I know how to find it now um 45 just a little bit yeah I had some that were just a lot just bigger statistics for individual recordings which means that people are going back or some people are going back to really listen to that same recording regularly and which I get I suppose I do get a bit of that but I kind of assumed that the newer recordings are listened to but I was kind of I was surprised because I didn't realize I don't look back

generally at the statistics for individual recordings from the past but I did for this instance because I was going through to pick the top 10 for each podcast so I had to write them all down and then figure out which ones go in what order and that and I was yeah pleasantly surprised oh here we go here we go so I've got one here number 246 Deep Sleep Whisper this is for the 1st of July 2020 7,414 plays and downloads it's way higher than all the others it's like wow and as I was looking at

thinking wow that's just that's huge and then I find another one Sleep Hypnosis Weekly number 45 Deep Relax and Sleep 23rd of June 2020 16,223 downloads I'm like wow really so that really that did surprise me to have that amount you know of an individual you know because the others have a little something like four five six seven eight nine one thousand two thousand downloads but to have that many just on one recording means that there must be pretty if it's a good recording or well it's you know this is quite popular I guess so

that's part of the reason I did the top 10 on 2020 so I thought it'd be I've never really summed up the year before and we are at the end of the year let's face it it's the what did I say the date was the 7th so you know there's three weeks left to the end of the year and when I was make when I was putting down the 10 the top 10 of 2020 I wasn't sure if I was going to make any more recordings this month or anytime soon I wasn't really sure what

I was going to be doing so I thought I'd do that and then then that'll you know give a kind of a guide to what may be worth listening to for those that perhaps have only just come across the podcast and maybe they don't haven't been listening before or you know so perhaps if they come across the podcast then my most popular episodes right at the at the top of the podcast might be useful or helpful to other people so I did that I did it with the Let Me Boy To Sleep Deep Sleep Whisperer

even the Sleep Hypnosis Weekly again I was quite surprised I had a few of those well lots of those that are quite high I'm sure there's one that was particularly high but I might be wrong I'm just looking now no I'm wrong well not wrong but it wasn't there was there was one but it's this one's over like 1500 downloads 1600 1400 not oh yeah nearly 2000 but there was another podcast where it was two or three thousand on a download now I would have more downloads per episode if I didn't keep making new ones

so if I did one and that does happen on the Sleep Hypnosis Weekly so if I so I let it go a week and where are we where are we where that's at the top 10 top 10 top 10 top 10 so the one I did a week ago is 689 downloads so if I leave that on there for another week I'll be like 1500 you know so it's they grow that way anyway I'm not going to keep talking about that stuff have I got any messages I don't know if I have and I haven't

replied then then uh sorry sorry I didn't mean it I just haven't replied let's have just a little drink oh so I've been reading a book today called Relax and Live and it's by a hypnotherapist who used to be a surgeon I mean I think he's passed away now but he was he was a surgeon and then he he used hypnosis whilst doing surgery as well um and other stuff see there's there's times there's people out there that can't safely have anesthetic and they need medical treatment and they can have local have local anesthetics or

to numb the area but they can't have like you know a major anesthetic that knocks them out maybe due to allergies or due to having a full stomach full of food and stuff I'm not an expert on this stuff but it's little bits that I've crumbled along the way and it's really this is I don't want to reach over and get it look at that I've got a new chair it's not a new chair it's my friend lent it to me it's an old it's not old it is old but it's it it's a bigger

chair than the other one and it's kind of more comfortable than the other one the other one it's very low down with no back well it has got a back but it hasn't got a head the back goes up to the middle of my back so I can't like rest my head back without my head falling off so it's really good for reading I don't mean reading the chair I mean at the moment I've got it well it's back to the window so earlier when I was sitting down the light from the window well the

light from the sun I guess but you know coming in through the window even though it's not it's it's December so it's not bright inside my flat you know it's not bright light in here but the light from the window was perfect for reading which meant I didn't have to have the light on not that I was bothered about having light on but it's it's nicer to read from what's just nicer to to do that for me personally it doesn't really matter I guess and but this chair swivels which it turns from side to side

and it's got armrests and if I sit there just normally I can rest my head back yeah but at the moment I've I'm resting my legs on the other like normal you know chair that I sit at the table with and it's not particularly comfortable actually my legs are going a little bit numb which is yeah I just need to figure out a level like a height where it's the best way to do it but yeah so the past three days what do I normally talk about I must talk about something hasn't been much happening

haven't done much I phoned up the optician today to cancel my appointment for tomorrow and she said what's what's your name she said yeah what how can I help I said oh I'm just gonna cancel my appointment uh for tomorrow he said what's your date of birth like really like that what's your date of birth said oh it's uh she didn't sound like me I'm just saying but the tone date of birth so I told her I said what's your what's your name and I told my name she said okay I said I said what's

wrong with you you sound miserable she said I'm not miserable and she changed a whole um a whole temperament seemed to change when I said that to her I think what it was is she was in mechanical mode and she did say like so busy and I guess because it's not a sales position you don't have to with sales is what I've done I have also answered the phones in companies for jobs for other reasons as well um but so it's a different I guess it's a different thing but you kind of need to be

friendly it's part of the job to be friendly anyway but I can I can see how if if it's just the same thing over and over again that and you keep have to just ask the person what's your day of birth what's your name all right it's cancelled bye you know I guess it'd be easy to get into that robotic robotic mode but with um sales if you get into a robot if you get into the mood you ain't gonna sell anything you have to pretend to be nice yes so so yeah I had a

weird message the other day I can't remember if I read it out or not but I think it was Thursday someone sent a message on my website and they yes I'm not gonna read it out because I don't wanna I don't want that negativity but yeah had a little bit of an effect on me a little bit just a little bit a little bit of a reaction and afterwards I'm thinking because you know after what I kind of did as a reaction I was thinking huh you know I got rid of a few bits and

bobs and um I was thinking why would I care if someone doesn't like what I do but then the fact is I do care and if I didn't care what would be the point of me doing it you know so I do care what people think and I can pretend I don't but I do and you know if I the thing that basically the the vein of their comment was that and reading it out would be quite a yeah basically telling me that I was depressing that's what basically this person said oh or that I

was I was causing stress it's like really I don't really I mean I suppose there's that fine line isn't there between I don't know if if I was just one thing all the time so if every single recording was just me being silly and absurd maybe that would suit everybody well wouldn't suit everybody obviously but you know would perhaps suit um some people but then talking about my life if if I just did that all the time then some people would perhaps miss the silly stuff if I just spent the whole time talking about Andre

which it can seem a little bit like that sometimes I suppose but I don't really generally I do talk about it but it's not the whole time but if I did that all the time some people would be happy some people wouldn't want to hear about Andre all the time just like you don't want to hear about me all the time I'm guessing you know even though it is about me you know it's a mixture of different things it's just these these let me bore you to sleep recordings and the way I see it is

if it's just relaxation that you're after then I do have other podcasts that are very relaxing where I don't talk about myself pretty much at all you know in the titles have the word relax and sleep in them on the relaxation for stress podcast there's the deep sleep whisper podcast which I never talk about myself on I just do the recording and it's a relaxation and sleep recording the sleep hypnosis weekly I don't talk about myself on there either or about Andre generally I just do the recording and it's relaxation and sleep so there are

other things I do that may be more useful but this I don't know this these ones are a mixture it's it's even I'm not sure how to explain it and in a way even I've been doing them for just moving towards three years now three years in February I think I'm in December even though I'm not really sure where they're going because I'm going to be doing other things I'm going to be I don't know if the word progression would be correct because it might not be but definitely moving in a direction and including new

things and for example if I let's say I moved to Thailand in a year's time okay and I could still I could make recordings anywhere in the world as long as I've got internet connection to upload them all I need is a recorder and I've got a portable recorder I've got my iPad but if I wanted to go really really really small go really small I've got my handheld microphone which I can plug into my phone and that would be everything and I could edit it on there and everything like that although a tiny screen

that would be much fun I do need a bit of a bigger screen to do editing but I could do it I could get away with it so you know if I was to move to Thailand or well just there for it as as an example then the recordings would take on a different a different flavour I guess because instead of talking about walking over to the garage I might be talking about sitting on a beautiful beach or about some people that I'd met or about a monkey that just stolen my coconuts you know it's

this so I guess and that'll be very different from these recordings but it'll still be me and you know if if I continue doing this forever and ever and ever and ever there'll come a time when I'm old so the things I talk about may be very different from what I talk about now I might have who knows I mean they may not be in the slightest bit relaxing when I get to a certain parts it might be very biographical and just a very much like a journal by then so yeah I just got me

thinking about what is it that I'm trying to achieve with these recordings as well as as the other podcasts the only thing I really come up with is trying to help people you know ultimately that is the underlined sentence I'm trying to help people that's my aim if I was going to look at it more specifically then I'd break it down depending on which podcast you know so the pain relief podcast I'm trying to help to reduce people's pain the I'm trying to think what other podcast do I have the self-help podcast would be a

mixture of different things you know from nail biting to tonight tonight tinnitus I couldn't say the word tinnitus and to phobias you know stuff like that the sleep recordings again including this and the other podcasts the relaxation as well so my I guess main things sleep or relaxation the dog is scratching himself relaxation sleep and pain relief those are the three main things that I deal with that I kind of focus on the pain relief is a lot less than the sleep or the relaxation bloody hell see you hear that that was his ears obviously

flapping morning do you want a biscuit all right okay all right I'm gonna chuck it over there the thing about this little doggie here is he needs attention constantly and I'm not used to that because I live with a ferret that needs my attention rarely your eyesight ain't really up to much is it mind you they are minute I've got I've got a Christmas tree the other day I don't know if I mentioned it uh I haven't got the lights on yet I need well there are lights on it it's built in but I haven't

turned them on today there you go it seems weird that the lights need to be on it's not even two o'clock yet any afternoon in the summer this would be about seven o'clock this is kind of the light you have july it'd be about eight seven half seven it'd be this light another one another one there you go wow you can't even taste them surely crunch crunch I'm trying to avoid taking him out because because of what he does when he's out and because what I have to pick up in a bag when he's out

last time I ripped my trousers well that was clever what are you sniffing oh he just jumped up yeah to pick to catch one of the biscuits and he got a whiff of the other bowl of meat or cat food actually and he's like oh what's that what I don't understand right if there's sense of smell dog sense of smell really is as powerful and you know as as humans not as powerful like way way more powerful than me if there if there's sense of smell really is that more powerful than the humans why would

they go anywhere near their own bums you'd think they'd be constantly running to get their nose away from their bum wouldn't you oh that one landed on me okay wait ain't ready oh not another one do you want another one so I've had him for about 50 minutes now the naughty's worn off really has but I've probably got for another few hours I reckon I think my friend enjoys not having him just have to have the break you know where he can sort of go and do what he wants but it kind of stops me

from doing what I want it stops me he to a degree then I thought you know what I'll make this recording anyway because you hear Andre don't you I get Andre on my lap and he's going and stuff like that so this has just got a little bit of a little bit more activity right another one another one you're a good boy if you look at my pictures on Facebook there is two pictures of me with him now don't try and climb on me give you an idea how how strong he is he's um his

previous owner was uh I don't know how old she was she was in her 60s maybe late 60s the lady and she came round to visit him because she she couldn't look after him anymore so my friend took him on my friend had known him since he was a baby or since he was young so my friend took him on and she came around to visit him he was so excited to see her he knocked her over and broke her hip another one because I don't want I don't want him to go to the toilet

I'm just giving him food so he's gonna probably there you go I might just take him in the garden I'm starting to wonder if these would taste nice because he likes them Andre likes them he's sniffing them he's staring at me like what are you doing that's mine don't put it near your nose I'll have to eat that don't be rude there you go so yeah I nearly need Christmas can you believe it I mean what seven eight nine ten eleven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty twenty one

twenty two twenty three twenty four twenty five eighteen days over six days to Christmas what's that you just said 18 yeah 18 is over six isn't it it's over six days uh meltdown meltdown alert there you go see my vacuum cleaner broke so when he comes up here he he hunts around the floor for any little bits of food that Andre's not eating so he's quite a good little vacuum cleaner because I give Andre bits of food so I'm just like so if I've got if I'm eating a tea cake a toasted tea cake and

it's got butter on it he likes the butter he's not that bold about the tea cake as much although sometimes he will eat the whole thing not a whole tea cake and he sometimes he'll grab it off me and run off and then he'll leave it on the floor so he'll lick all the the butter off and then Mr Doggy here will come up and he'll eat it as well as any like food that Andre's got that he kind of spreads around so it's quite useful quite useful aren't you I spilled some muesli the other

day in the kitchen and he ate it he came up and he ate the muesli which has got to be it's you know it's fairly good for you I don't give him chocolate of course you don't have chocolate do you no you're not allowed chocolate you're not allowed chocolate but you're a good boy aren't you you eat what you you'll eat anything though won't you honestly if he honestly if he had to learn right if he had to learn how to use chopsticks to have some of your Chinese takeaway he'd learn he would he's that

determined to eat blimey could you get any closer it's practically attached to me right now you've got a very strong mouth you know he's not even waiting for me to chuck it now he's I'm picking it up and he's straight away he's going to take it off my finger there you go ready ready hey get down get down no get down he's fed up with the one the little one at a time he's now he wants the bowl now and the weird thing about it is if he really wanted the bowl he could have the

bowl he's such a strong dog I wouldn't have much chance against it he doesn't realize there you go it's on the chair it's gone onto the chair Andre Andre my name's not Andre I'm not a bloody ferret I'm trying to think of something that's happened since I last made a recording and I know that nothing happening in my day-to-day life doesn't normally get in the way of me talking about it for an hour but I can't think of anything that's happened must have something must have happened there you go you want another one there you

go I was watching the boxing at the weekend which is good I mean it was proper there you go there was boxing on Friday there was boxing on Saturday twice so there's boxing on Friday evening on Sky Sports and then Saturday evening there was boxing again on BT Sports and yeah so that so Billy Joe Saunders was on Friday night defending his world title and then Friday night there was boxing and then not Saturday night rather and then Sunday morning this is UK time so it would be Saturday evening in America but Sunday morning and

there was a huge fight in America Earl Spence Jr.

fighting Andy Garcia no Danny Garcia sorry Danny Garcia and Earl Spence Jr. is Errol I'm going to get the names right not Earl Errol Errol Spence Jr.

is one of the pound for pound top boxers in the world um yeah I mean there's there's a few really brilliant boxers what really not annoying me but that made me think well the other day Teofobia or Teofono whatever his name is um the pound for pound boxer fought a contender and the contender won the fight won the world championship off of the pound for pound number one so surely Lomachenko who was the pound for pound number one needs to be below the person who beat him doesn't that make sense yet some boxing man can

still put him ahead of the person that beat him now that don't make sense to me especially as he beat him like widely you know widely he beat him not easily but he you know differently beat him Tyson Fury is in the pound for pound top three I think and he was nominated to be in shortlisted for the BBC personality sports personality of the year but apparently he's he's requested they take him off doesn't want to be part of it according to something that I saw earlier but I can understand it because he was nominated

a couple of years back three years ago or maybe four years ago wow three years ago probably and he he said something in an interview and which caused a bit of a reaction from some parts of the public and he had to he ended up going on and apologizing and of course he didn't win so I think after that he probably just doesn't want him to deserve it and I don't think he'd win I don't think he'd win the reason for my reasoning it's not because it's not because I don't think he should but the

competition that he's going against is I think possibly too big seriously mate you're annoying get off me see Jerry Lewis is one of them he's a racing car driver Formula One world champion so Jerry Lewis just go away now yeah you better walk away I'm not a dog lover I'm not I like dogs but that neediness I can't stand it really can't stand that neediness now I think it's different if you're in a family and you've got kids and the dog's happy to be around lots of different people but if it's just you on your

own and he's the neediest dog on the planet you know he's I mean he gets lonely when he looks away seriously when he's facing away from you he misses you it's like what's wrong he's um he's emotionally disturbed I think it's he's a rescue dog like originally he was a rescue dog so he's he has separation anxiety which is not his fault obviously but it's annoying and he gets it with my friends and now he's usually okay for about an hour or so and then he starts to get and be annoying and like where's my

daddy I want my daddy and then it's the whole experience becomes unpleasant because he's you know I don't know what to say I don't know what to do with him I should stop answering my door that would be a solution if I thought that would stop people knocking yeah stop answering your door you're ignorant so Jerry Lewis the racing car driver world champion I think he's like equal to the most amount of times ever won so he's he's a superstar in sport and there's the snooker player um Ronnie O'Hallivan Ronnie Ronnie yeah Ronnie he's arguably

the best not cricketer snooker player ever in history he's he's one of the you know so he's in the running there's other people as well I can't remember but Tyson Fury of course but I don't think he's been taken off the list now but that um is it Rashid uh the football player that Rahid I can't remember his name but he's a football player young football player and he got the government to change their their stance on giving free school meals during the holidays or something like that I can't remember I didn't find it very

interesting but he they said no so he he I don't know what he did but they changed their mind I think he basically he petitioned for it or he I don't know I don't know what the correct wording would be he petitioned he asked he tantrumed for it I don't know whatever he did and anyway it worked and the government changed their mind and said okay football player uh we we're gonna feed the children during the summer but before we do that we're gonna go around the child's house and uh you know just check to

see if the parents are smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol and just kind of because they're doing that and they can afford to feed their kill their children oh controversial controversial yeah yeah I do it does amaze me the amount of kids that go to school without breakfast okay a box of breakfast cereal even a small box let's say if you go to the pound shop so the box isn't a big box it's a pound but for a you know for a small kid you could get four four breakfasts out of that and then milk you

should be able to get four breakfasts out of a pint of milk if it's for like a little kid like a young person but just say for example so 25 pence per breakfast plus the milk so let's say milk's a pound again so he spent two pound so that's what 50 pence per breakfast it'll be less than that but just as an example if you've a bigger box discounted and stuff then it'd be but yeah so 50 pence a breakfast 51 two 50 pence let's work out this see what the dog does now is he

goes yeah my pants and sighs very annoying very annoying dog very annoying so times by 365 182 pounds a year no wonder the parents don't want to feed their kids there's a lot of stuff you could get for that 182 pound a year that's a weekend away isn't it blimey god i think i'd feed my kids don't think i'd give them breakfast either not at that cost 182 that's a that's a night out isn't it it's a nice night out for the parents nice meal few drinks taxi home kebab a kebab before the kebab bar

blimey 182 so let's work out that he times that by 16 so just for breakfast for a child i know obviously they eat different things when they're first born and stuff they have um tit milk and the stuff out of jars and it but you know for 16 years roughly 2 920 pounds just for breakfast that's a i mean that too that's a deposit on that's a deposit on a quite a good caravan 2 920 i mean what could you give that you mean that's that's a decent holiday isn't it really three grand you could

go on a nice cruise for that so it's worth starving your kids i guess don't give them food send them to school without vani breakfast plead poverty of course um hide the cigarettes and and all the other stuff that you could have done without it's silly because people can't you can't people that smoke can't do without tobacco because that's it's still addiction isn't it so but i love well i don't love but the documentaries uh these do they have and uh you know people that are whatever they're down on their luck for whatever reason and

the person's saying you know i got nothing i've got no money and i can't afford to eat and stuff and then the camera zooms around to a packet of cigarettes and the thing is people that work generally can't afford to buy cigarettes now because they're so expensive it's kind of tobacco or nothing you have to you have to roll your own really what's that noise don't worry man it's not for us your daddy won't be home yet no way he could he be home yet he hasn't even been gone an hour just over an hour

there's no way he could be home yet no no no no no no no no no he can't be home yet no no no no no no but wouldn't it be lovely i go back to bed then i could go back to bed i could go i could go i could go so yeah it's uh i think on wednesday i'm gonna send christmas cards out that was interesting wasn't it oh really tell us more you don't want to hear more about that do you you know i just i thought about just doing it all online

but each card costs about nearly four pounds four pounds that's a lot of money that's six breakfasts that's six bowls six bowls of cereal no what we're talking about is it 50 51 52 53 51 52 53 54 no eight eight bowls that's a week plus an extra bowl in the afternoon on sunday during the cricket uh that's it i'm gonna go now gonna gonna gonna go now gonna gonna gonna go now yes what do you think i was doing that for your attention you're the one that wants attention not me get off me leave

me alone that's you that is me get off me