#554 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. I'm a bit out of breath, I've been moving stuff around. It's a long way from that side of the room to here.

So only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Now this is another attempt at trying to make a video at the same time as make an audio. Wow, that was boring.

So basically I did one the other day and it ended up being 44 gigabytes like heavy. 44 gigabytes which meant I couldn't do anything with it. To give you an example of the size of 44 gigabyte, I once downloaded the entire series of or the entire box set whatever of The Sopranos, like every single episode of The Sopranos and that came to about 50 gigabytes.

So you can see 44 gigabytes is a lot for an hour recording recorded in 4k. So I changed the settings on the camera to be 1070 or whatever so to be a lower level. So I'm hoping that I can do something with this because otherwise because I've got a microphone with this camera or for the camera and I've got the microphone there you can't see it but it's just there recorded me for the podcast.

Now the podcast is going to be separate so I will edit that and everything. This will all be done on using that microphone and that'll be it. So they won't I won't be doing any editing on the sound so hopefully hopefully the sound will be fine on the video but if it's not loud enough then you can listen on the audio you know the thing I mean technically I could I guess take the audio mix it into the video in editing.

But I've just spent 160 pounds on this microphone so I want to use less. Yeah it seems to work better with video than it does with audio for some reason but I need to play with it to get it going to get it to find out how stuff works I need to play a little bit. So I hope you're well and all that stuff.

I can't read any messages out because I don't have my phone because my phone is recording me and I can't do anything on the iPad because the iPad is recording me as well. So I'm kind of stuck just with me and I don't want to go to sleep. I was up all night watching the boxing watching Mike Tyson and Roy Jones Jr. prove without doubt that men in their 50s can't fight.

Men in their 50s do not have the fitness that they did. I think that's been proven now. I mean we all knew that anyway but if two super fit people that were super fit when they were young beyond fitness that most people didn't be able to comprehend to be like world boxing fitness and then to train again in your 50s.

I think Roy Jones is 51, Tyson's 54. I think although doesn't make sense to me but I suppose it could be could because Roy Jones is they're not they're all kind of around the same age as me. I'm just a little bit younger a little bit and they were tired after the first two minutes and although it's fun to watch the build-up was probably more fun.

The idea of it was probably more fun than watching the actual thing but yeah I got the sense that Roy Jones was doing everything he could to avoid getting punched and Tyson seemed to be doing everything he could to avoid punching Roy Jones in the head or in the face. He was just doing body shots. That's what I got from that because I don't I don't think Tyson Mike Tyson tried to hurt him because if he had tried to hurt him he would have hurt him.

Really that's what I'm thinking but I might be wrong I think that is what I think if Mike Tyson had gone into the ring with a heavyweight proper heavyweight from his own era so let's say but I don't know I'm trying to think of a heavyweight David Tua for example then they would have both gone in to knock each other out. I think there wouldn't have been any body punches there wouldn't have been any holding on it would have just been trying to punch each other in the head but Tyson got punched in the face quite a few times by Roy Jones and it didn't even just bounced off him.

He didn't notice it so I don't know it was obvious that they were going to have a draw at the end of it you could see they're just going to do a draw because it was it wasn't a proper fight it wasn't proper boxing it was in fact the YouTube is it I don't forget his name Luke or whatever there was a YouTube star fighting on the bill on the undercard and he fought better than either Tyson or Roy Jones and he knocked his opponent down three times I think Jake Jake Luke Luke Jake something

like that so he which is weird because YouTube stars are supposed to be okay not supposed to be but some boxing fans don't like the idea that a YouTube star is able to go into the ring and millions of dollars have huge audiences and do a pay-per-view show and headline even some boxers don't like it either and you know it should only be I don't know it looks like I've got lots of it looks like I've got a double chin I'm going to keep like talking like that now I'm going to stick my chin out

yeah I'm going to talk like this now I don't like the idea that it looks like I've got a double chin it's just it's the angle that's all it is it's the angle I don't have oh wait a minute also it's the goatee because I've got a goatee beard at the moment and you might be thinking yeah I can see you've got a goatee it's on video it's a picture it's a moving picture I can actually see it no this is for the sake of the podcast because most people that listen to me listen on

my podcasts not on YouTube and so there so I might get like the last video I did and trust me I'm not showing off here when I say this I'm not obviously when you're here is I had about a hundred plays of that video obviously I'm not showing off because 100 plays is nothing but it's still a lot more than I normally get on my uploads that I do because I normally just do the podcast share the podcast episode with Facebook Twitter and YouTube so YouTube just has a picture basically and you can listen and

I don't get many people listening I've got 500 subscribers at this point and I haven't given YouTube much attention at all for years I just upload my stuff and yeah I still get people listening and stuff but still it's small so but on the podcasts I'll get you know a lot more um I don't know you know a lot more than I do get on to then I do get on to there wasn't even a sentence was it it's a distraction I don't want to see myself see my funny face with these glasses and my

bald egghead and look it's proper bald I quite like how it feels oh massage my head also shaved the sides of my face just got a little bit of hair on my chin it's weird because I went into the garage the other day two days ago and the lady this is a petrol station the lady in the petrol station she said to me oh you've had your ear cut she doesn't talk like that but she said um you've had your hair cut I said yeah I said wow you sound just like me she said I

know it's weird isn't it perhaps you should put on a different voice when you use me in a story otherwise people won't know who who's talking I know I know but it almost feels like I'm being rude when I put on a different voice why what voice do you use well I thought this is the voice I give you well that is a bit rude isn't it I don't talk nothing like that what about what about this one no how about if I talk like this no I don't talk like any of that if you

do this then if you took like this then he it took like this no because I don't talk like that yeah you could talk like that's not even that's alien that's not even a real sound that's just not what's that about so anyway I she said he said she said she's she said to me oh I saw oh I say you've had your hair cut I said yeah she said uh you look much better now that you've shaved your beard off I said how do you know I shaved my beard off I've got a mask

on by the way you know what I can see I can see because it's it's not sticking out from your neck and all that I said oh okay and I just I thought oh see the lady this lady doesn't normally talk to me she's always says hello she used to really seem to dislike me and now over the years she's got to tolerate me I think I'm kind of like a like a broken tile on the floor an annoyance to start with especially if you trip over it and it's like oh maybe it's smelly bit

damp rotten or whatever but and eventually like you get used to you just step over it and then after a while you start liking it it's like oh I'm not sure if you could like a broken tile maybe that's not a good analogy she said oh I look smarter and I said to her you know what you know what I think it is as I got older I've let myself go a bit and I think part of the reason that is because well I just need to spend all my money on this stuff on equipment

and producing this and everything and paying for the free service that I've been offering for 15 years so I've not spent any money on clothes which I need to I need to start looking at getting some proper clothes because I'm running out I've got clothes with holes in them I've got honestly I think like three pairs of socks left three pairs of underpants I've got three that are no good and three that are okay the three that are no good like really old they're gray old and gray they used to be yellow they're gray now

and but the elastic is gone now it might have something to do with my waistline I'm not sure so I can wear them while I'm washing the others while the others are you know being washed but outside of that they're not very comfortable not you know not ideal also my t-shirts I mean are worn out my t-shirts are wearing out they're wearing out they are so I need to get some decent clothes my my trousers I split the whole back of them are split it looks like literally it looks like I've given birth whilst in

the office you know it's really whilst in a job interview it's just whilst at a funeral I've still got the trousers I don't know why I should have just chucked them away don't know why but I've got nothing else to wear to go out I want to say go out I'm not talking about clubbing it you know or date night just going out just going to the shop so I'm now going to the shop wearing tracksuit trousers which also need replacing because they're all worn out so I'm pretty much not at my best at the

moment clothes wise so which is okay in a way you know considering not really supposed to go out anyway but when we do start to go out which will be Tuesday or Wednesday I'm going to need to get myself some trousers I tell you what do I have I have some really really good boots not wellington boots I'm talking nice boots proper like hiking I forget the name of them but they're really top quality got them from the catalogue so very good 120 pounds they cost but these boots could last me forever unfortunately they've got

laces but most I mean you wouldn't get so you wouldn't pay that much money for something that slips on would you I guess um although I prefer slip-ons I do it's hard to do laces up because when I go like that say it's my knee pull my knee up it presses against my belly and it seems to um push my belly button into my lungs and just seems to just collapse my lungs so I can't breathe and however much I like to have laces tied up health and safety and all that I prefer breathing so

it's kind of one of those things like well like cutting my toenails it's I have to hold my breath each each for each toe I was like I'll try and do it quickly it's not fair I think I maybe I need to get myself a chiropodist but that's something that elderly people get isn't it I know my nan used to have a chiropodist come around once a month or something and cut her fingernail not cut her toenails rather and you know look just take care of the feet and so I quite like the idea of

having something like that but it's it's uh imagine it's quite expensive I mean I'm I'm guessing that my nan had it through some kind of help the aged you know sort of charity thing or part of the NHS or something like that but I I don't think they provide it for people that are just lazy and although I'm not lazy it's hard it's hard to reach my toes and it's amazing I used to be able to bite my own toenails I still can but obviously cut them off first and eat them like snacks I do

collect them but that's a bit gross but uh I used to be able to put my my toes inside my mouth never realized how grim that was at the time but it's something I could do it was something it was and now I can just about reach my with my fingers like oh I can't be bothered it's like the the effort and I cut I want to bite my finger nails like laziness when I fall in love see a little bit tired was up all night and watched the boxing in the evening as well so

there was two boxing shows one at 7 30 till about half 11 I think I finished and then another one started one until about five about five o'clock I think it was maybe maybe later but about five between five and half past five that finished so that was a lot of boxing I kind of uh overdid it a little bit with the boxing so I had enough of that for a while don't want to see no boxing for another week there's another show on next week and another one the week after that and so yeah

my ideal situation I think would be every Saturday night to have boxing on the telly although I would like I would like one day to actually go and go to like a big I was talking to my brother this the other day to go to a big show like a Las Vegas or I don't know you know so one of the big casinos in America go and watch a world title fight you know sort of doesn't have to be heavyweight title but I mean how cool if it was someone from England so I'm talking about

when I've got some money so I think the present heavyweight champions will be long gone by the time I've got that and even the up-and-coming heavyweight champions that are like future ones yeah they'll probably be pensioners by the time I can afford to do that so maybe it will be Tyson Fury and Anthony Joshua doing an exhibition fight like Tyson Mike Tyson did with Roy Jones Jr last night but they'll be doing it in maybe 15 years time or 20 years 30 40 50 20 years time because they're both around 30 31 so yeah so

in 20 years time them two can come together again or maybe Wild R or that's about it I can't think of anyone else and that's in their league really at the moment Joe Joyce won yesterday sorry if I've spoiled it for you but Joe Joyce fought Daniel Dubois and uh Dubois was a favorite he was a favorite like he's 22 I think and he's a big puncher and everything like that unbeaten had more fights than uh Joe Joyce but Joe Joyce is he's 35 or something but he's an Olympian won a silver in the last

Olympics in 2016 he huge career as an amateur really did really really really really really really really well also he's for a really good opposition he's for former heavyweight champion he's for a few big people another like big contender Jenkins and some other people and I call him the juggernaut this is for non-boxing fans he called him the juggernaut and he just he just keeps going so if you've seen the juggernaut from the uh x-men films he's a big stocky and he just keeps going the weird thing about Joe Joyce right okay and I still

can't figure it really can't really I've kind of got some ideas really figure it out is Joe Joyce doesn't look big okay now it's going to sound ridiculous when I say what I'm going to say next he is six foot six and 18 stone six work out what that is in pounds if you want but 18 stone six and he's six foot six and he doesn't look big now if he was in this room I know what six foot six is so I know kind of the height that is and it's not far off the

ceiling you know it's he'd have to bend down to get through the door otherwise he'd bang his head on the door not on the door unless he tried to walk through the door which would be weird but you know on the door frame I think that's higher than it's lower than six foot six so he never looks big though and then he stands next to his opponent and he's always bigger pretty much than his opponent yet Daniel Dubois looked massive stone lighter I think he's six foot four or six foot two something like that uh

Daniel Dubois six foot three so he's still big still tall but you know he's looking huge big old boobies because you know he's just big muscly um um but Joe Joyce just looks I don't know it just doesn't look big and then they stand together and Joe Joyce is up there but then when they're in the ring then they separate and Joe Joyce shrinks again I don't get it and they're in the ring and it starts off and Daniel Dubois looks bigger than Joe Joyce and then when Joe Joyce gets closer to him Daniel shrinks

it's really strange really strange don't quite understand and I realize it might sound a bit weird a weird thing to say because he doesn't shrink I know it doesn't actually shrink but it kind of does it's like an optical illusion Joe Joyce is an optical illusion as well as being a brilliant boxer and I say brilliant because what he did on well last night is was really good he proved that he's better than what people thought he was I knew I've known he's been good uh the whole time I've watched every one of his fights

since well even when he was amateur so during the Olympics I was uh supporting him I was sitting over there in the corner watching on telly he didn't know I was supporting him but you know the energy was there I felt a connection I felt like at one point he did look at the camera and like gave a little wink wink I said wink and I knew that was for me I knew he knew we knew so I would quite like to meet him one day just to catch up but I just wonder if I

see him and from a distance think he's so little and then as I get close to him it just grows again I mean I think he might be a genie but he's he's got something special he's not like other heavyweights who go in to knock people out and uh go swinging as much as he's more controlled and sets the pace and he's you know I don't know how to explain it really yeah but he's good so a little drink I made a recording when did I make a recording this morning because it's now two minutes

to three and 29th of November the two minutes to three p.

m.

29th of November 2020 didn't make a recording yesterday at all for this I did a deep sleep whisper hypnosis recording but I didn't make a sleep recording I just want to close my eyes oh so I'm doing it now not closing my eyes making the sleep boring sleepy thing I did a relaxation for stress and anxiety recorded earlier and I'm trying to change things around a little bit so trying to make the recordings longer and the version that's with music is two hours anyway but the version without music is I don't know why but I'm

kind of moving towards doing 40 minutes plus nearly 50 minutes for for the recording without music so let's just relax oh oh man oh one way's just about god what a weird angle look at that I look like I've got tiny little shoulders look tiny little shoulders and a big big belly and wait a minute that is how I am that's not look no actually it is I've just got tiny little tiny tiny little shoulders Andre if Andre comes over here I'm going to grab him so I can show you two he's a little monkey

though because he knows he does everything he can to avoid me Andre what's this Andre if I do something Andre look I'm going to grab him can I say hello to all your fans I don't know why you can't actually walk near me make me get up he literally walks around and just he knows the parameters he knows how far I can reach and just walked around so I can't get to say hello to everyone you know that people listen to my podcast love you yeah he's quite calm he seems to be happy just to

just lay here with me sounds weird shall we lay together Andre Andre look nice tummy you like he likes it when I massage his tummy don't you yeah yeah oh everyone can see your I can see your bum bum say hello to everyone look hello hello you hear that he sighs oh look he's got his tongue out oh you had your tongue out there for a minute hello I don't think he's interested I think he just wants to I like a stroke him if you see that stroke him underneath his his chin he likes that

I think it's the parts that he can't actually reach himself that he likes me to finger so so I finger him underneath his chin with my voice my thumb not my finger on my thumbs I stroke him because I guess he has to rub his chin against other things another part that he likes me to finger is his ears so if I like that look his ears if I just just rub it what he does he pushes he pushes his head against my finger so that I can get dig deeper in because he can't get

he can't get inside his own ear I mean none of us can get inside our own ear can we that would be a genie kind of a trick but I don't do it that often which I'll do the other ear as well but he can't get no he doesn't always like it as well but um he can't get inside his own ear and the other thing is he's got a tube a tunnel which he climbs through and that I think that's sort of scaring scratches his body on the outside and inside and he kind of

gives himself a nice little bit of a scratch as he climbs through it don't you hey he's so bendy aren't you okay there you go oh I'm looking in the in the camera can you see yourself he's a good boy most of the time he has his moments but he doesn't do it all the time we all you know we all oh you want to go say goodbye to everyone then all right he wants to play now he wants me to chase him chase me he does this thing now where he basically wants me to

chase him into the kitchen and then he hides behind the cooker because he knows I can't get to him there so then I leave the kitchen and I go into the bedroom the living room walk out to the hallway and hide behind the near the front door and he comes out looking for me and then I jump out and he runs like sometimes right and he runs runs into the kitchen it's behind the cooker sometimes he will make a big noise other times he just does it but he's um he loves it tried to get

him he got away from me hello hello oh no what's happened he's just still he's not moving oh why is he not moving I think he's given up he's given up struggling just like oh might as well let the fat man do what he wants for a bit longer I wipe me bowl on his pillow later to get back at him he might fall asleep because sometimes when I'm talking I think he gets a bit bored and he just drifts off for some reason now he's just laying there I think he's got his eyes closed

mind you I find that I bore myself as well I mean I think I mentioned it recently but I don't want to get off again recently I've been making sleep sessions and falling asleep myself see I could easily fall asleep now I'm not quite sure why it's one of those Sunday afternoon moments I think cuddling him makes me want to go to sleep as well so I made a recording stop sneezing at me I made a recording this morning so that was pretty good so I'm pleased about that I might try and do a story

a Jason's bedtime story time I might try and do something like that later on because it's still early let's maybe do something at five or six and maybe do something else about eight or nine yeah shall we shall we do something else about eight or nine o'clock yes dad yes yes I'm having my eyes tested uh next week so I reckons I will have new glasses one thing they're doing is I'm going to possibly use this these frames for my new glass lenses for everyday use distance and everything because currently these frames are being used

for my reading glasses but the frames that I currently have for my distance and everyday use broke when I sat on them so I took them to the optician to see if they could do anything for for the frames you know fix them I've got this bag here what's in this bag what's in this bag he loves carrier bags I mean loves carrier bags I don't understand it I think it's the noise that he can make he loves carrier bags it's I mean I find carrier bags useful I like them in that way useful for

carrying things I really could fall asleep that's what you hear on some of my recordings I actually did one hour and a half and I had to get rid of it because most of it was me snoring no good man that terrible was really so annoying so there is something though when I first wake up in the morning there is a period where my brain seems to almost work it's like my brain seems to be more active and quicker than later on in the day so I'm thinking maybe making use of that oh I'm beginning

to wake up brilliant the speed's kicking in no I so I used to um I got a croaky voice ah that's better my voice is ever so nice now no longer croaky so I used to I can't remember what I used to do yeah so that's what I'm thinking of doing maybe making a recording when I get up in the morning a recording the deep um the let me boy to sleep I generally would do later in the day normally but because I didn't do one yesterday I'm doing it a little bit earlier today the

deep sleep whisper hypnosis podcast I have to find a time when it's quiet like it's been quiet here now I mean if Andre was in the bedroom it'd be quiet I say that and then downstairs start making noise but generally it's fairly quiet but there's no way of knowing really and then it dawned on me that perhaps I should stop getting too concerned about it being if there's any background sounds and stuff because you know it's a podcast and it's not I'm not recording it in a recrude recrude I'm not recruiting it in a recruiting

studio if I was it would be quieter but as it is it's still fairly quiet isn't it I don't um they have a huge amount going on other than a little ferret running around and doing stuff yeah yeah I'm not I have to readjust the volume or the input every time I use this microphone because the background sounds are different each time the level so sometimes I can have the microphone a bit louder because there's nothing going on other times I have to have it really low and then when I go to edit it's I'm

having to amplify the sound which means sometimes a bit more background sound in the form of you know quite that bad but just I don't know how to explain it sort of like empty space you know just just that that I mean to be fair there's there's kind of a background hum in this thing if it was to central heating or whether it is the fridge I mean I've closed the bath the the kitchen door but I think it's the fridge it's quite loud well not loud but it's it's hummy yeah I'm pretty sure I

can hear the fridge I can hear it when the wind when the door's open I'm just trying to think if I can hear it but then when I close my eyes all I want to do is just drift just sleep so yeah that's no one can deny that this has been a boring recording a boring video but I've just gone sweaty as well mind I've got a light shining right on me big bright light shining right on my head plus another light there there and just trying to think where can I get I just want

to read out some of my messages not that I have many but I've had a couple of messages but I can't read them out because it's on my phone perhaps I need to start getting professional and start printing stuff out so I can then read them whilst I'm being filmed maybe maybe digest son thank you for what you do thank you for being boring I hope I never meet you but I do like listening because you're so boring you send me to sleep because you're so boring I had someone offer to redesign my podcast artwork

so I replied so that sounds interesting so I'm waiting to sort of hear back I wonder if my artwork puts people off I have a few different versions for the let me bore you to sleep podcast picture you know on the podcast it's yellow got a picture of Andre I spent ages designing that but maybe maybe it's time to make some changes along that front hmm all right you know there was a time so I was just dreaming I just there was a time what's that about there was a time there there was a time

so Andre's in the kitchen which means I have to be careful when I go in there because he sometimes likes to it's not his fault he's asleep in the carrier bags on the floor and suddenly he needs to go to the toilet and he just goes to the nearest corner and then he goes back to sleep anyway I'm gonna go thank you for listening remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye