#545 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Today is Wednesday the 18th of November 2020. Hope you're well blah blah blah. I've got no messages to read out so I've made a few recordings today so that's been good.

A couple of uh quite quite productive days. Yesterday I had 8084 downloads and today so far 8086 downloads. There's still another hour or so left for the stats.

So that's pretty good, it's pretty pretty nice, pretty whoa it is really it's nice. So I'm getting towards the 10,000 a day which is my target for the by the end of the year I want to be on 10,000 a day. That's my that was my target last year to be by the end of last year to be on 10,000 a day.

But some a year late kind of. It's okay I should uh if I don't hit it this year then I'll probably be doing this saying the same thing next year in November. Well I'm now nine and a half thousand.

I'm trying to get the 10,000. Mind you this time next year I might be saying I hope to get to the 20,000 a day mark. So yeah the thing is once you get to 8,000 10 10,000 isn't really a big jump is it it's only a couple of thousand.

And then once you're at 10,000 15,000 isn't really a huge jump. You know and then 15,000 20,000 you know it's so it's incremental I think might be the correct word I don't know. So I'm pleased with how it's going and I've increased my productivity which is good but it's not just that it's well it might be just that I don't know it's quite nice to get up at you know to say I'm I'm up at 6 30 or 7 30 in the morning.

And to look and see that I've already had over 2,000 downloads so far sometimes I think this morning nearly 3,000 by about nine o'clock. That's pretty groovy really. And the day's not really started although the day does start at 1 30 in the morning.

So technically that's it's taken me seven hours or whatever to get to the 3,000 but really last week cough in here. Well the last maybe month or two I'd get I'd be on about 1,500 by about eight or nine. So that you know it's been growing gradually.

So it's weird I don't really understand it I do but I don't but I do but I don't. Um I had a this person who's been following me and he leaves weird messages on YouTube and he said that I oh how disappointed I'll be when I realize that most of my stats come from bots. And that's not it's not bottoms it's bots like robots they're just checking out the things and I won't be you know I'm probably getting hardly any listeners at all.

Well I know for a fact exactly how many listeners I'm getting. And maybe some of them are bots but I I've got different ways of finding out stuff. And they are listens people are listening.

So it's not just made up figures and the reason it's not made up figures is because podcasts are in the same kind of category as television and radio. They have to be overseen not the podcast themselves but the statistics for advertising revenue. So when they say so for the adverts at the beginning of a podcast let's say you can have adverts beginning end and maybe three throughout the podcast.

So I only have one tiny bit at the beginning I could have six advert slots but then no one would listen so there'd be no point because it'd just be interrupted all the time. So these advertisers need to know exactly how many listeners or how many listens downloads are being gotten from each podcast. And that's where the podcast hosts get their revenue and they get money from people signing up and paying for it but they also like Spreaker I imagine they get 50 percent of the advertising that's made if not more.

So they have to be very factual so yeah the idea that I'm only getting made 23 downloads instead of 8000 because the rest of them are just random uh automatic bots clicking on and stuff it's not true. There's a few probably out there that is done on websites but this is a different thing. And you know as I said it's all organized and it's Spreaker as most of the the bigger web podcast hosts they have to abide by regulations now in order to be professional.

Did I just use the word professional that was boring wasn't it I was serious no why? I do take what I do seriously although I don't take myself seriously does that make sense? I mean it has annoyed people in the past sometimes when I say that I love helping people but I'm not interested in people you know some people mistake kindness for interest. I just I don't I don't naturally have an interest in my fellow human I just don't it's not naturally in me. That's not to say that I'm not interested in anybody because that'd be a lie if I said that but I don't have I don't know just as an example you know when I used to work in an office getting on a Monday morning everyone would be sort of saying or how's your weekend?

I don't know how to answer that it's a weekend it was a Saturday and a Sunday and I did whatever I did and now I'm back at work.

Different mindset you know I'm focusing on this now what did you do Saturday? I can't remember I'm not thinking about Saturday now don't care about Saturday anymore it's gone. It's almost like did you make some happy memories?

I've never made happy memories I don't think I just once it's gone it's gone I don't really think about stuff again afterwards it's I just I move through time I'm not uh I try not to look back although I do you know when I do these recordings and I do ponder but I'm trying to I don't want to be static I'm trying to move forward and not get too attached what I just naturally don't get attached to people and maybe you know maybe I am broken from childhood maybe moving around all the time and broken

home living in care and living with Catholic nuns in a children's home maybe that stuff did affect my attachment you know ability to attach to other people to others but there's a freedom there's a freedom that I find that comes from not getting attached it means that I could easily pack a bag and move you know I couldn't I've got no money to do stuff like that and I wouldn't want to give up my flat but I could you know emotionally I'm not I suppose I'm attached to Andre of course but I take him with

me if I left but I'm I'm attached to the flat attached to my home because it's the only home I feel I've really ever had like there's been mine although technically it's not mine I don't own it but it's it's mine as long as I pay the rent so even if everything went to weird and I suddenly had no income if I got help from other people to pay my rent I wouldn't lose my home so you know I might have to do that one day hopefully not but I might come on here one day

and say ladies and gentlemen I hope you've enjoyed my recordings over the last 15 16 years or 20 years um there's a little bit of a problem with the rent I just wondered if you could help out please thank you it's only for it would only ever be for a couple of months until I got back on my feet but I hope that never happens but you know what I'm gonna ask for help if I need it in the future I've asked for help in the past to pay for the podcasts and stuff like that

the websites and I've had help to pay for things that I've got equipment I've also had lots of generous people send me gifts yeah I did on my birthday I do it Christmas and I appreciate it I sometimes think that I know it's weird I go from saying oh I've got no attachments but I think the internet friendships work for me because I can give you I can tell you all about myself without having to listen to you talk about yourself that sounds bad doesn't it I don't mean it in a bad way honestly I

don't it sounds really bad I generally do not mean it in a a negative way but but I do feel like you're kind of like my family you know like a family that I've chosen in fact or people to I'm not obviously not everybody that listens but there's some people that listen that are listening now that actually care about me care about Andre have you know a warm feeling when you think of Andre when you see a picture of him lying on a bed of his tongue sticking out and he's become part of your life

in a if you listen to these on a regular basis he's almost as part of your life as he is of mine in a way it's and that's one of the that's one of the good things about the internet that I think is quite good is for people like me who's a bit of a loner generally I don't but I don't feel lonely generally does that make sense I don't I've got my friend downstairs and I'll see him now and then we'll have a chat but I don't I don't want to spend long periods of

time with anybody I quite like I've got a lot to do there's a lot of recording a lot of editing a lot of that stuff to do so this this takes up quite a bit of my time and I sleep quite a lot as well sometimes although not today I've been I slept a small amount today but I'm building myself towards studying a bit more you know the hypnosis side of things and anything connected to this to what I do online because I've decided that I want to be the best that I can be at

one thing and that's this I don't want to do anything else so making recordings is what I want to be best at what I want to not I'm not I mean better than everyone else but just the best that I can be whenever I say that I just think of the brute advert the best a man can get while surfing yeah I'm really related to that advert yeah so I that's what I want to do I'm going to really put more effort into this more effort into making more recordings helping more people and getting better

at the hypnosis it's becoming better everything around what I'm doing here and I guess that does include the editing the recording process which is why I got that other microphone that hasn't really lived up to what I wanted it to do but it's okay because I've now got a travel mic because I can't take all of this stuff with me if I go so basically I can go to for example if I go on holiday I've not been on holiday since 2004 last time I went on holiday and that was just to Yala Man with

my dad and some family well that was good I liked it it's nice to go to a place where it's just men no women there apart from my aunt and you feel I'm joking there's no women didn't no there's one woman there was this woman I don't know if I ever told you this story so I was in the Yala Man this is during my period of I was almost having an exodus or a break from life so I left my job in November 2003 that was in a call center due to my stress levels

I just couldn't take it anymore so I left I stuck the job out for a year after having like the first panic attack and I still stayed there and I did everything to keep the job because I wanted I was good at it I wanted to keep the job there's a lot of benefits to work in there one was I was good at it I was getting paid okay I was doubling my money with the bonus I was I had a degree of respect I guess because of being good at what I did I would

have got promoted or I was I could have moved up the ladder if I wanted to and I was around people that I got on really well with actually generally the the other people I worked with I was around women that were nice might sound like a strange thing to say but it was just I was around just being nice it was nice to be around mainly younger people but not by that much I was 31 32 33 when I left and there was people there in their 20s so it's not a lot of difference

but it would be quite nice to be around the young energy you know it was quite good and I was I was classed myself as quite young as well at that time and just as I was leaving you know I was looking after a team in the evening part-time and you know it was things were going really well everything was going together but it was just too much so I dropped everything I this was in November possibly the beginning or the end of October something like that so I think I might have took two weeks

I don't know anyway I went to Amsterdam for three days just had to that was a holiday I suppose so yeah it was a holiday but it was 2003 and I just had to get away from everything so I stayed in a hotel in Amsterdam for three days should have done it for longer really but it was great everything the whole everything about it was although I had a bit of a weird uh brownie that I shouldn't I like it just it was weird I ate it and it's like oh it's obviously just wish I

hadn't but you know did some sightseeing window shopping and so yeah it was it was a it was a nice I went to the Anne Frank Museum and yeah went to a cinema and I found a pizza place that I really liked so I was eating there most of the time and yeah the time went really quick I was hardly I wasn't there for long but when I came back I didn't know what to do and luckily I had enough money I thought I had enough money to get by I got a loan I got

a loan for five thousand pounds to um bank loan and then but I got that while I was working and then so I kind of had that money basically the bank just said do you want a loan I said yeah all right then how much do you want I said well five thousand they said no I said how much would you give me he said you don't want to know I said I don't want to know I said I don't want to know I said I don't want to know they literally would have given me

like 20 30 grand it's like what no you're right I'll just take the five that was still a nice little chunk of cash and then I suppose because I had that in the bank I felt a little bit secure financially knowing that I could always you know go back to working in the call center later at another time left the job decided I had to take a break for my health you know to try and get healthy again and I ended up working in a charity shop a charity gift shop that was run by the

buddhists it was just below the buddhist center and I've been going to the buddhist center for about a year so I just my friend got me a job there and it's the busy season so it's Christmas so I was working part-time but it was very busy I probably did a few more days and I perhaps should have done actually but I think I was supposed to do two days a week or two and a half days a week and then after Christmas I was working there probably two days a week or maybe three days but

half days you know so I wasn't I didn't have hardly any income I'd probably like 60 70 pound a week coming in which wasn't you know much probably covered by rent that's about it so for the rest of the year I stopped drinking new year's eve didn't smoke then and I didn't do anything else either I was just drinking was the only thing I did and I stopped for the whole year all the way to new year's eve the next year okay I did and that was weird it's very weird when I came off the

wagon new year's eve 2004 and I thought my head was going to explode just like whoa and I was in I was in London so I went to London for new year's eve and I don't I don't know if I worked I might have even worked that night I was I was always available you know it's not for money I don't I wouldn't care about that it's just I'd have more fun if I was actually doing something so even if it was clearing tables or stuff like that I'd have been happy just to help out

taking drinks out and stuff just because it's it's fun it's not fun if you're getting paid for it necessarily if it's your job but you know just like now and then I think that'd be cool you know and I know that it's these days all the red tape and there's lots of lots of hurdles for some reason for most things it seems but wouldn't you like to sometimes just do a job just like you know what I'd like to give that a go just for the day work on a dust cart for the day you

know clearing rubbish up I've done that so I know what it's like but some jobs that I quite like to give it a go you know and I don't mean things that are that you need to be qualified I don't mean like I want to be a surgeon I want to do appendicitis operations no I don't mean that and obviously I want to be a teacher maybe a teacher assistant you know but just for the day just to do something to see what it's like so working in a in a in a bakery or uh

working in a call center you don't have to be doing anything I mean you know you could is you know you there's lots of different jobs within those places or it's like you know I'd like to be a plasterer for the day I want to work with a plasterer and you could just be there helping mix the plaster up I've done that as well and or working in a chip shop which I've done or working in a care home which I've done working in a meat processing place which I've done working in a comedy club

which I've done working in insurance which I've done selling mobile phone contracts which I've done selling trinkets and wind chimes which I've done selling tape recorders on a market store which I've done what other things have I done cleaning tarpaulin which I've done um washing dishes cleaning toilets uh yeah I've done all those but there's some jobs that I'd like to sort of this looks like it might be fun like being a lollipop lady that sounds like it just I don't know just for the fun of it just like it's holding that big lollipop and

stopping the traffic it's gotta be fun I love stopping traffic I mean there's a few times I actually actually have walked out and just put my hand up and stop the traffic because I want to sort of help an old lady or an elderly man across the road or something like that so if the traffic's not stopping I'll walk out and just put my hand out not always but well I'll bring him out with me so that if the traffic doesn't stop I'll just quickly dodge out of the way and so no no it's amazing

the other day I did actually step out because I was waiting for ages so I put my foot in the road and the traffic keep going now if someone puts a foot in the road as a pedestrian you're supposed to stop your car I think that's the law but admittedly it could have caused a crash but I've been waiting for at least 42 seconds to cross the road so I was well within my right something I've noticed actually is as time has gone by especially this year I've had practically no communication no physical like in-person

communication with people even my psychologist has been on the phone the doctors has been on the phone and it's just my friend downstairs and it's about it really maybe a couple of neighbors that I see and it seems that the more or the less human contact I have the the harder I find humans to deal with sometimes I'm going to give you some examples there's the Mr.

Knobby at the garage the petrol station I just you know I try and get someone else to go in there for me so I don't have to deal with him but haven't had that luxury the last week or so but now if I can I get everything delivered so I never have to go to the garage I try and get everything that I need delivered to me so I if I don't need if I don't want to I don't have to leave the house at least I don't have to go to the garage but occasionally

I have to but there's been three occasions three four maybe where I've had to deal with people that have got dogs and I took my I took my friend's dog for a walk so I needed to go to the garage for him and he wasn't very well he hasn't been very well so I went to the garage with the dog and on the way back from the garage there was a dog there was two a lady with two dogs one was on the lead one wasn't and the dog started running towards the dog that I

was holding now if a dog gets too close he bites them he's on the lead I can't do anything more than that dogs need to get away you know I'm doing my job and I was saying to get the dog on the lead and she was saying just keep walking just walk I said no and I was I sort of I stood my ground I said and I kept him I was trying to keep the dog away to get the dog put put the dog on the lead and it's like I really and I didn't

mean to be rude but I was it was I was thinking about her and her dog because I didn't want anything horrible like that to happen and then as I was walking through the park the other night again my friend is ill so I'm taking the dog for a walk and there's two old ladies one and they're just loitering in the park at the on the grass and I'm far away I can see them standing there I don't know why and then I get closer and closer to the entrance of the park and they're standing

there holding their dogs on a lead I said why don't you just walk through so I held him I said just just come through it's fine I've got him it's on a lead yours are on the lead so it's fine so one came through and the dog tried to get to the one I was with I tried to attack him can you believe it and she had one of those leads that was extended so it actually extended it was stretchy and she didn't have the physical ability to stop that dog from doing anything she just

about held it and it's just what are you doing what are you doing and this was at night as well it's like well and then the other lady refused to walk through um even though the dog I was with did nothing it was just I was keeping him keeping him there and I said can I come through she said no I said come on and I thought I said hurry up come on I was just kind of joking around but come on move on just come on sometime today if you're just staring at me like

I just I just farted in a bag and just inhaled it it's like see in the end I just went went through and I said it's fine I've got him there's no way in the world he's gonna get anywhere near you or your dog which is true I would I would put myself between the dog and him I wouldn't allow him even if a dog attacked him unless it was some big old dog like he is then I guess I wouldn't have a lot of you know thanks Andre oh he had some milk the other

day yeah which is lactose intolerant and he went over and I wish I'd filmed it well it's it was a squirty one that's all I'm saying he he went into the onto the the gravel or the cat litter area that he's got and he turned his back so he's always facing away from the wall he's his eyes are his tail goes up he's like a chocolate fountain and it had sound effects as well it's like wow is you've turned milk into chocolate into a chocolate milkshake I start calling him cocoa pops he turns the milk

chocolatey but I would never let any dog get I think dogs I'm a big I'm a fan of pets I'm you know I've got my head around how precious someone's dog and cat and guinea pig and whatever they've got is to them how precious and so I would never let any animal get hurt but if I'm around if I could if I could possibly stop it I would stop it and it's like with Andre if I have to I've already stuck my hand in a dog's mouth to get Andre out of there this is a

while back and I'd do it again I'd do it every single day but I wouldn't I'd stop taking him out for a walk I have to start learning at some point um but it's you know I find myself just getting really like oh you just you people even in the park on Monday with my friend another that was an awful day it was a Tuesday Monday Tuesday I can't remember but we this woman lady had a dog just was wandering towards us and I said and I I walked ahead to my friend had the dog

he's getting worried and I said so in the end I said can you come and get you put your dog on the lead no leave him it's like completely no so I bent down and I stopped the dog from coming any further my friend kept his dog you know he's holding his dog and I was like saying oh you're beautiful and I was just being really lovely to the dog until a woman came over and said put him on the lead please uh just just it was just winding me up like come on play the

game we'd all like to have our dogs off the lead but just because you think oh my dog can trust my dog because my dog doesn't do anything yeah but if your dog might have no intentions bad intentions but it goes up to another dog who has suffered in the past from another dog attacking him then that dog is going to be on its it's going to be defending itself so you know it's I'm surprised at how lazy some dog owners are or how privileged they feel they are so they feel that they should be

able to do whatever they want and have their dog off the lead and how careless they are with in that situation because I'd love to have Andre off the lead but I know a dog's going to grab him you know it's only a matter of time if he's off the lead and he'll run off or he'll he'll climb under someone's fence I'll lose him you know so the sensible thing is to keep him on a lead and while he's on the lead I have a degree of control over him but you know I'll always pick

him up in time no no no animal will get to him I mean I'll chuck myself over Andre to protect him from a from an elephant no I wouldn't I wonder what it'll look like after being squashed by an elephant I suppose it wouldn't be quite as funny as in a cartoon would it let's have a little drink he's been acting a bit weird though lately oh yeah my vacuum cleaner's broken did I mention it I got the fuses came through today so I bought I spent £10 on a box of fuses which from the

looks of it will last me for the next 30 years considering I've never used a fuse in my life so there's let me have a look let me show you right four values 80 pieces ceramic fuses kit so there's 6.

3 I don't know what that is 3A 20 pieces 5A 20 pieces 10A 20 pieces 13A that's amp isn't it 13 amp 20 pieces this little plastic case I'm just opening it there and seriously I feel like I'm but they're really little so I feel like I'm kind of like an electrician this is kind of stuff that electricians have isn't it so I've got 80 fuses oh wow I'm really prepared for something but I'm not sure what so it's just another thing but it's such a tiny little case it doesn't gonna take up any room

at all really so it's another thing that might be handy in the future or to help out neighbors and other people that may need a fuse anyway so I got them through I changed the fuse in a plug very pleased with myself I just want to add that change the fuse in the plug of the vacuum cleaner nope nope nope nope nope nope did not or will not refused to work completely wouldn't work would not work so I'm it's like what am I gonna do because I've got all this stuff on the floor that needs

to be cleaned up and I just wasted £10 on those things fuses it's just what a waste but hey they might come in handy in the future I don't know so earlier today I thought I need to at least start to try and clean up or brush away some of the little bits of wood because it's just spreading everywhere so I went to the garden center today and got my the idea the aim the plan was to get myself a nice thick broom you know one that you could like a yard broom as opposed to

a soft one that you could use in the kitchen considering the kitchen is so tiny like floor space wise and it's a carpet that I want to brush so it made sense to get one with proper bristles like a yard so I've got a yard broom it cost me £10 or £9.

79 or something now it came with the stick or the handle already connected so I thought that's good so I go up to pay for it I have to stay with all these like stay behind the yellow line come forward this sign saying come forward put your item onto the counter then step back behind the yellow line okay and I had £7 in the bank so I said I had £3 cash so I said to the lady is that I'm gonna pay £3 in cash and the rest on the card she said I can't remember

what she said I couldn't hear her because I was standing behind the line too far away so she took the £3 then said it's gonna be better however much £8 £7.

94 whatever no £6 under £7 just under and she she she held the card machine in front of the plastic and I said I haven't got that kind of card it's not a touch one I have to actually put it into the hole has to go into the hole before I can start pressing on stuff the digits so I did it and I was trying to do it outstretched she could like if she was looking she could clearly see the number that I was pressing in because I was trying to keep my distance and it's

quite hard to do that in the circumstances so that way if you're all right I left I walked back and the broom I was holding the broom across my shoulder like a chimney sweep from 1932 and I get just around the corner from where I live and there was this lady and she was using a leaf blower blowing blowing the leaves off of her driveway away into the road so I walk up and start pushing the leaves back onto a driveway with my brush my broom and luckily she found this she found it funny and

so that was good and then I came home I didn't use the brush to start with not straight away not not not straight away not like oh I'll be honest with you I wasn't that excited you'd think it would be an exciting a moment wouldn't you getting home you got a new broom a new brush oh but yeah it wasn't it wasn't quite as exciting I mean I was gonna say it's not exciting as peeling a banana for the first time but what could be you think imagine that peeling a banana for the first time

like you don't know what you're gonna find if you don't know about bananas I mean of course if you've seen a banana before you're not gonna be shocked but if you haven't seen a banana you don't know what you're gonna see yeah so it wasn't that kind of excitement yes yes yes if I was your soldier did you know it's true let me have a look at this so after a couple of hours I did decide to give a little brush and it's the carpet near the kitchen there's a lot of bits of wood on

the carpet and this brush actually has a scraper attached to it as well which I didn't realize at the time so I guess it's quite good for I suppose scraping things and so I did that to try and scoop up some of the wood shavings I guess which kind of wood shavings but not really and then the thing came off the helmet its helmet just flopped off the head brush whatever you want to call it I don't know just fell off and I'm like oh no I've only gone and broke it how could I break

it so quick and then I realized that it wasn't attached at all it was just put it pushed together but it wasn't attached because there's a hole in the what is it yeah at the bottom well this I think it might be metal it might be plastic I don't know but at the top of the brush there's where the handle goes in there's a hole where you can screw a nail into it or screw a screw into it which is what I'll do I might do that tomorrow I forgot all about that you know yeah

genuinely forgot it so I'm going to need to do something because I can't I looked online to see how much it's going to cost to get a new vacuum cleaner like the one I've got there's 150 quid there's one that's like a pet version so I think that might be the better one to get and that's special offer for 129 for Black Friday but it's still it's that's a lot of money for a vacuum cleaner maybe it's not it just seems they are sturdy they last a long time my dad's probably had that since I

was three because it's his so I can't chuck it out so what I'm thinking of doing is giving him a call and dad I got a problem I was wondering if you could help me and he said what is it now son what is it what have you done now I said no no no papa I haven't done anything uh I just wanted your help for I wanted to ask you something what did you what would you like to ask me I'd like to ask you papa about the vacuum cleaner that you lent me yes

I recall well well papa it has doesn't it doesn't work anymore I know if straight away what have you done to it then like it's my fault you know what have you done to it for it to stop working I used it I used it I sucked things up with it isn't that supposed to be what oh you know it ain't an ornament so yeah I have to keep that I can't get rid of it because my dad will just I mean even though he left it here it's not mine I said to you though

I don't know the recording he phoned me up he left a ladder here five years ago and he phoned me up for last year to check if the ladder was still there and that was it yeah it's dad uh is your ladder still my the ladder little ladder is it still there your place yeah well thanks bye oh I didn't get rid of it didn't get rid of the ladder didn't get rid of the vacuum cleaner I'm not sure what else he gave me I think he might have given me a teapot uh no not

a teapot um I don't know sure there was something else he gave me um but but but a counter he gave me something that I can put over the I can't remember what it was anyway I still got it he can take that back it's very heavy here's something that's really grimy should I tell you what it is it's totally true the curtains that I have in my living room and my bedroom have never been changed never been changed or washed since I've had them there five years seriously that's wrong isn't it I don't even

think about doing it so I have my windows open all the time to let the air in so that you know it doesn't get stuffy in here and the reason for that is because my last place I lived in was moldy damp and moldy and I decided I was never going to live like that again so I've always got air fresh air coming in but I need to I need to wash the curtains and they look the same to me I'm sure they were always yellow black green and blue kind of yeah it's a rainbowy

mixed rainbowy color I do wonder if I actually rinsed them if I put them let's say if I run a bath yeah and I put the curtains in the bath how dirty would that water be wow I might do it just for a laugh and then stick them in the washing machine it'd be easy enough to do in the washing machine I'd have to do each curtain separate because they're too big there's two curtains on each window so that's four washes really I reckon to do the to do the mind you four washes in five

years ain't so bad is it really imagine if you woke up to that like you only wash four times a year no no I never said I washed that often so yeah that's that's it I'm trying to think of what else I did today so I went out got the broom Andre was shaking today for some reason like like it was cold it's not cold in here um but he hasn't wanted to go out at all he's just sleeping a lot although this morning about three o'clock wide awake making so much noise so I was

in bed I was trying to sleep and he's like rattling around and eventually he just gave up and went to sleep I was like just I mean I pulled him on then pull him up I picked him up and you know put him on my bed and gave him a cuddle in my bed and he was happy with that for about 20 seconds and then he wanted to go and do something else sometimes he'll be happy and he'll just go to sleep on the bed but not right close to me he likes to do it

near at the bottom of the bed loves his own space it's weird I sometimes wonder if he even likes me bless him well that's it I guess for another day so thank you very much for listening and remember remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye