#496 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello to jasonnewland.com, my name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Today is Friday the 18th of September 2020, it's 2.07 in the morning, yes, and what else? So the website, my website, I don't like it, it's not getting many views compared to my other website.

Yeah, it's still the same website address and I don't understand. So the website address is www.jasonnewland.com, all of my recordings are available to download or stream free without adverts. That's it really, just not getting, I mean, it's kind of, I'm getting people visit, just, it's just a weird one, it's weird because the, yeah, I keep saying the same thing, so I'll just, you just put www.jasonnewland.com and then save it and it'll be fine.

Otherwise, you can just put my name into Google and my website now comes up and you can click on that one. But even though it's the same domain before, it had a few different bits to it and I don't know why, never mind. I had a message from my friend, and your friend, Elizabeth.

She's a friend of this free hypnosis service. I said, did I say Elizabeth? Rachel, sorry, Elizabeth's her surname, I do apologize, Rachel. Sent a message saying, can I listen to your podcast on Podbean without downloading the app? It's telling me I have to download it to listen to it.

Well, the idea is, what I did answer, yes, you can just play on the episode. You don't go to .podbean to listen to my website, you just go to the website. On the phone, if you do it on the phone, at the bottom of the page, on the screen, it does say, you know, download the app to listen to this podcast.

You don't need to do that. It's annoying, but it's going to cost me $129 a month to get rid of it, which is even more annoying. So you can press play on any of my recordings on my website, and play and stream without adverts, and you don't need to download the app.

Don't need to download anything, just go directly to my website and everything is available on there. Just try to ignore the banner that's hovering, which is actually quite annoying. It annoys me.

It does annoy me. You know, it's every turn I take online, there's always seems to be another hurdle, another company trying to make some more money, trying to... It just annoys me, especially, well, actually apart from Spreaker. Spreaker doesn't... I like Spreaker because it doesn't try and get money out of people, doesn't try to, doesn't really try and take you anywhere else.

It just, I think it gives you the option to download the app and stuff, but there's... You know, I just, I like Spreaker. I've been with them quite a while now, but I am on Podbean with my other podcasts as well. But this one, I actually, for my website, I actually pay money.

I pay cash money. Well, not really, I pay digital money from a bank every month. So I'm paying for their services, yet to my customers who use my services that I'm paying to provide, they're trying to, I don't know, manipulate, but trying to get you to do things like download their app.

And there's no point because then you've got adverts. So I don't know, there might be another way of doing it. I'm going to look into it, but at the moment I'm not because I can't be bothered.

It took a lot of work to put this together, to get the whole, you know, a whole free website. Not free for me, but advert free, so you can download everything. You can stream all of my recordings, all organized into categories.

And it's quite a big undertaking. And to then be kind of undermined a little bit by the company I'm paying money to, it does wind, it winds me up a little bit, just a little bit, just a little bit, just a little. But I could go back to using the other website host that I had.

Again, I could, yeah, I could go back to doing that. So we'll see. It's just, I did quite like that.

I can't remember what it was I was using, but I did like it. It just made sense in a way to have a podcast because that is predominantly what I do now. Anyway, and so I'm gonna, I'm gonna keep looking into that, but I haven't had the energy the last few days to really get into it.

Sleeping so much. I posted a picture of Andre on Facebook. I just tried, the title was Andre is mixing it up.

And I saw something that I don't normally see. He had the slipper, his girlfriend, in his mouth. But the body of his girlfriend, which he, you know, usually uses plastic.

He was using one of his teddy bears. I had to pry it to take a picture because it's a rare thing. Also need to say thank you to, what the hell was that? Discover new ways to reach your goals with Colin.

Oh, go away. Where do people get my email address from? Ben has given me a PayPal gift. So thank you very much, Ben.

I will reply as well. That cheered me up actually. So I spent all day in bed literally.

I have done for the last few days really. Just one of those things, you know. And I haven't done anything.

Actually, it's not true. On Wednesday, I cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom because I got this magic mop or super mop thing that I got delivered on Tuesday. I think it was.

It's not an expensive thing. It's just like a, what is it? Flash. What was it called? Super mop.

Super. Speed mop. Speed mop.

So I'm trying to look at it. There's a label over the front of it. So I can't quite see.

I think it's a speed mop. Now, in reality, it will work better now that I've actually cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen. The kitchen was really, really bad.

I didn't realize how bad the floor was. It was icky. That's probably the best word for it.

Icky. And I used quite a few of the pads because this comes with these pads that you put onto the bottom of this mop. It's not really a mop.

It's more of a, you know, like a plastic thing that you push along the ground. Not like a wet mop. But it uses this disinfectant wipes.

Anyway, eventually, I got up. I got the muck up. And wow, I didn't even realize it was that mucky.

That's really bad. In fact, I would say even when I've mopped it with boiling water, it still hasn't got up what I got up this time. I was really surprised.

So if I give it a once over, like once a week probably, it'd probably be enough to keep it clean. Because I don't go in there really just to go to the toilet and juggle and go to bed and stuff. I don't go in there too often.

So it should, I should be able to keep it nice and tidy, nice and clean on the floor. Plus, plus, plus, plus, plus the bathroom as well. The bathroom was pretty, it didn't need much doing to it really.

I'd already given it a wipe over on the first day that I got the mop. But the, yeah, it didn't need a lot doing. It's, it's only, it's only a tiny little space on the floor.

And it doesn't really get messy. Unless Andre just decides to go to the toilet at the same time as me. Which he does sometimes.

It's kind of weird. He joins me. So I'll be standing up doing a, you know, a whistle.

He'll do a whistle as well on the floor while staring at me, which is weird. So I don't know if he's in tune with me, in tune with my biological processes. I don't know.

Or he just doesn't want to be missing out on the action. He wants to, he wants to be part of it. I don't know.

But there's something quite cute about it. I don't know. I'm not really sure what it is, but I don't know.

It sometimes makes me chuckle. Not sure if I've got any other messages. I might have.

Because I'm not getting many now that I've not got the other website. Should I change it over? Should I? And if I did go back and put in my old website. All the stuff still in there.

It's just updating the most recent recordings and I haven't done that many recordings over the last week due to not really feeling. I don't know what the feeling is. It's not feeling it.

I suppose it's not being motivated. I haven't felt motivated really. A couple of times I have, but yeah.

I can't remember the last time I did recording. I think it's two days ago, which isn't long. But when, I guess if you're used to me doing them every day.

It's the distance, isn't it? It's a distance. Yeah, it's a distance. And the last one I did was the, Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

It was the 15th. So yeah, it's 15th was probably the Monday, wasn't it? Wow, so it's Friday now. So yeah, so it's been a few days, four days.

And I spent all week in bed, pretty much. Not all week. There's been a few times I've got up and done stuff.

Went to the doctors with my friend. I think on Wednesday or Tuesday. Wednesday, one of them.

And that was a point. Oh God, that was so point. We got there, right? I went with him last week and I'm not going to give any details about who he is or what we went for because that's personal for him.

But what I will say is when he went to have his prostate exam, this is Tony, Tony Clarkswell, his name is. When we went there, it was either me look after his dog or me go with him. I was originally just going to stay here, but then I can't do anything for the dogs here.

I have to put Andre into the bedroom. I have to separate them. I can't do anything.

I can't make recordings because he's just jumping with the dogs, knocking stuff over because he's so big, restless because he misses his daddy. So, you know, I thought I might as well just go, go to the doctors. It's just easier actually.

We got there. Well, first of all, the bus was late because he decided to leave it to the last minute to get the bus, to get the last bus, you know, in the chance that it would actually turn up. Well, it didn't turn up on time, but we did get to the doctor's surgery at exactly the right time.

So it worked out all right there. But unlike last week when we went, we weren't allowed to go into the doctor. So they have regressed back to their, to a previous pathetic state of being, which they were a few months back.

So, you know, they're petrified of their patients, which, yeah, I'm not a big fan of that whole, you know, if you're so scared of your patients, then perhaps employ people that aren't scared of the patients. Maybe I'm just, got it wrong. Anyway, we get there.

There's a sign, knock on the window. Honestly, the knock on the window of a doctor's surgery, talking to you through a window. How pathetic is that? I mean, it's got to be up there, talking through, they don't answer their phones.

It's really hard to get hold of them. And I actually, the last time I tried to phone them, in fact, I can tell you, I did, I can tell you exactly. Let me go back.

This isn't, this isn't a lie. This is true. I'm going to put my glasses on so I can actually see.

I'll just bang the microphone, bloody mic. Everything's in my face, honestly. The microphone's in the way.

This is what, this is so you can have a decent quality sound. I've got this stupid thing right in my face. Right there.

Anyway, I'll stop moaning. I'll stop. So doctor's surgery.

Now it's calling a doctor's surgery. Yeah, it's not what I wanted. And okay, so let's go back.

Doctors, doctors, doctors, doctors. Monday, Monday. It's going back to a while back.

Okay. Let's hope it's still on there. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Don't mess around.

Oh, no, it's not. Damn you. It's only saving up to the 21st of August.

My other iPhone uses save for months and months of phone calls. This one doesn't. It's probably in the settings.

I probably set it up to not save stuff without realizing it. Anyway, I think I said I called them 54 times the last time I tried to get hold of them and eventually got hold. And previous to that, I'd been on the phone for about, so what I decided to do is next time I'm going to call them, I'm going to phone them, ring and be kept on hold.

And then I'm going to just get on the bus and go all the way there. And I thought I might film myself doing it. And then when I get there, knock on the window, when they answer the window, I say, can you please answer your phone? Not to be holding my phone up on here for 43 minutes.

Let's all clap for them. I know it's not anyone's personal fault, is it? You know what I mean? It's all they can do is work within what they're told to do. I don't think they have the capability to think for themselves anyway.

So it seems to be going backward. It seems the society in some ways seems to be regressing. That was my stomach.

I'm just being a grumpy bugger. So I'll shake out of it. Oh, now I'm all happy again.

I was talking to a friend. Oh, right. I got to the doctors, get to the doctors.

This is a Wednesday. Today. Just on time.

I'm holding my friend's dog. He runs to the dogs. He's done a big poo.

So my friend's getting annoyed because he's gonna make my friend looks at me like, you're gonna pick up the poo. And I just walk ahead because I don't want to pick up. It's part of the reason why I'm not looking after him.

Because it's not my favorite thing. Now a lot of dog owners might say, well, it's not anyone's favorite thing. I think it might be.

I've got a theory that it might actually be some people's favorite thing. The only benefit of it is in the winter when it's really cold. Because it is very, it's very cozily warm, isn't it? You cuddle that little black bag of... So yeah, I think it's wrong.

If you don't actually own a dog, or, you know, if you're not a custodial or the father or parent of a dog, then you shouldn't have to pick up dog poo. That's got to be one of the benefits of not having a dog. And I think dogs are lovely.

Not a big fan of what comes out of their butt. And besides, I've got enough of that stuff to deal with, with my little ferret. Because he goes to the toilet more often than any other animal, I think.

Other than maybe a rabbit, mouse. And honestly, he's always going to the toilet. And I'm used to that.

He won't go when we're outside though. Seriously, the only time I can get Andre to go to the toilet when we're outside is by picking him up when he's asleep and taking him for a walk when he hasn't had a chance to prepare. And then sometimes he'll have to go to the toilet when he's outside.

I think he does wheeze when he's outside, but I can't always tell because when I take him for a walk, unless I'm going somewhere specific, like if I'm going to the shop, then I'm taking him along with me, which isn't generally that often. But if we're going for a walk, it's his walk. He gets to do and go wherever he wants.

And he gets to spend as much time as he wants on as many different blades of grass as he wants to. I don't hurry him. I just let him do whatever he wants, as long as he's safe.

So I stop him from going under people's gates and those kinds of things. But generally, I let him just do he wants because that seems like the right thing to do. It's his time.

Does that make sense? If he wants to spend, like today or yesterday, I took him out. But I now only go out when it's light. So I only take him out when it's light outside.

Because then I can see what he's doing. I can see what he's eating. It's just better.

So I can keep an eye on him. No dog's going to run out of the dark. So there's no people hiding in the bushes and stuff.

We've got benches in the park and across the road. People sit there in the dark. That's weird behavior.

And I know weird. I am weird. But that, even for me, that's weird behavior to sit on a bench in a park, knowing that the whole of the pathway is lit up really bright.

So they can see everything that's going on in the park. You can't see them. That's dodgy.

That is, I don't care. It's true. I think it is unusual behavior.

And my friend said, yeah, they're probably smoking drugs. I don't care if they're smoking drugs. Good luck to them.

They can do that. I don't care where they do that. But just don't do it in the dark.

I don't care what people are up to. If they're young people doing that, it's up to them. But hide in the dark.

That's just strange. That's what predators do. That's what lions and wolves do.

They hide. And foxes. You know what I mean? Like hiding.

That's what cats do. They hide because they don't have the ability to actually take a prey face on. Especially the kind of prey they go for, because they're too quick.

So yeah, I'm not, not a big fan. So I don't, don't really like walking through there at night. Not with Andre, because a dog ran out of the dark the other day.

There was someone sitting there. Didn't know there was a dog. So I just shouted something out and left.

Do you know what I shouted out? I shouted out, I'm scared. And I ran off. And Andre's not scared of nothing, generally.

But I do think he's a bit shy. I do. Because he clings to me sometimes.

Especially if there's like a neighbor, because I do talk to some of the other dog walkers. And sometimes he doesn't like it if he doesn't, he wants to walk and go where he wants. But if I stand still, he'd rather be carried.

He'd rather be like, hold him. And he clings to me. Which is, I don't quite know why.

But maybe he just, maybe he thinks I'm gonna give him away or something. But so far, no one's wanted him. Woke me up the other day.

Yeah, that's the end of the recording. I've got nothing else. I got nothing else.

I'm just moaning, moaning about, oh here's, here's something. I was listening to this recording. And it's called 8020 or the 2080 plan.

In fact, let me tell you exactly what it is. It's all audible. I like to read.

I like to listen to audio books. Have done for 20 odd years. I used to buy them.

But now with Audible and there's other ones as well. I think, I think Audible might be the best one out of all of them, but it might not be. But it's the one I'm with because it's owned by Amazon.

It's just, plus I've, I've invested. I've got 43 titles with them. This book's called the 8020 principle by Richard Koch, Koch, Koch, Koch.

I think it might be Coke. C-O-C-H. See, thought I was being rude, but I wasn't.

So Richard Willie, the 8020 principle. Now, I don't mean it's horrible, but he's got a boring voice. Really boring.

Yes. Now he's very, very flat. Very, he's kind of motivational, but in a flat way.

I think he's English. I think, which might explain it because English people don't do the, don't seem to be able to pull off the motivational excitement that someone like, and I'm, I'm not saying this in a negative way towards motivational speakers, because I'm a big, huge fan of all of them really. And so the ones I like from years ago called Anthony Robbins, of course, back in the day.

But then Zig Ziglar, another one that I just love Zig Ziglar. But over the years, I've discovered other ones. So you've got, what's his name? Bob Proctor as well.

You've got Grant Cardone, someone that I've discovered. I'll tell you what's weird about Grant Cardone is Jim Rohn. I love Jim Rohn.

Jim Rohn is pretty much my favourite. And I love Bob Proctor because I think I learn more from him. But he's a little bit grumpy, I think sometimes, and I quite like that as well.

Because I'm a little bit grumpy sometimes, not all the time. I don't kind of put on a, I can't put on a pretend excitement if I'm not, if I do, you can hear it because I'm like pretending to be excited. So Bob Proctor doesn't do that.

But Jim Rohn, he's so good. And he's funny. It's Zig Ziglar, Zig Ziglar again.

Zig Ziglar's dead, Jim Rohn's dead. I'd love to have met both of those people. And I guess I could have done if I'd have just made the effort, you know, to meet them.

If I'd have gone to one of their seminars. I went to the only motivational seminar I ever went to in my whole life was Anthony Robbins back in probably 2005. I'd say 2005 probably.

I think it was before I launched myself upon the world. And it might have had something to do with it, actually, without me really giving it credit, giving him credit. But I have never ever in my life seen someone with so much to say.

No, it's just not totally true. And there's someone, another one of my teachers from the past, Jonathan Noyle. He's quite a controversial figure.

And I actually bought before I went on a course of his, but before that, again, that was in 2005. It would have been 2005 probably. And I went up to up north to a course he did.

Before that, or maybe it was 2006. Anyway, before that, I ordered pretty much every video that he had done of all his trainings, as well as CDs, you name it, I kind of ordered it online. I had loads of stuff.

I don't have any of it anymore, but I had loads. I watched it all. And then I went to training with him.

And this is someone that just, even though he would poo-poo hypnosis and make fun of it and stuff, he really knew his stuff. He knew he was a really interesting speaker, and he could talk. I mean, you might think that I can talk, but he can talk.

And I talk about, I just talk rubbish. I mean, he actually was talking sense or sense. What I mean is he was talking about a subject.

That's what I mean. So he was talking about hypnosis, psychotherapy, and stuff like that, including some mentalist tricks. He showed some of that stuff.

He's a magician as well, and a mentalist and a hypnotist and all that stuff. So what I got from him was motivation, which I didn't go for. I didn't expect that, but I got it from him.

I got it from going to that course as motivation to actually do something, because I'd spent years talking about doing something and never doing anything. I trained in hypnosis in, what was it, 1998, and then 1999, and then 2002, 2003, and then eventually I did it, trained again in 2005. And that's when I actually decided to do something instead of just telling people that I was going to do it.

And yeah, because in 2005, even though I didn't start the free pain relief service till 2006, I actually did start it in 2004, but no one came and no one was interested. So it took two years before I even got any customers. I say customers, it was free.

So I don't know what my point is. There is a point. There must be a point somewhere.

I don't know what it is. I don't know if I've ever told you this. Oh, by the way, when we got to the doctor's surgery, knocked on the window, it turns out that his appointment, my friend's appointment was by phone.

I started shouting, not at the people, just that this is pathetic, because I just got out of my way to go and help him and really sort of wasted my day. I felt like I'd wasted my day for nothing. Plus I was feeling grumpy anyway.

And it's a telephone, a telephone interview or a telephone booking. Didn't say that on the letter that he received. And then just as we were about to leave the doctor's surgery, he was being all calm about it.

So I was like, okay. And he got a phone call and he spoke on the phone to the person. And he was there for a serious, serious reason.

And then they said, oh, I've got another appointment next month. And it's like an examination or something. I said, will that be on the phone as well, will it? I was very childish.

And then we got back and I was able to relax. It was quite weird because I got a little bit of birthday money. I'm laughing again.

I don't know why this is funny. I suppose because I'm so old and I shouldn't really be getting birthday money from your parents. But as long as my dad keeps giving me money, I'll keep taking it.

Because it seems weird. I feel like I should be looking after him at my age. Because, you know, being in the early thirties, like I am, I feel like, oh, and those of you that know the truth don't realize that some people listening for the first time and they don't know what I look like and might actually believe it because I've got a very young voice.

It seems weird for 50, for me, a 50 year old to be still getting money for my birthday. But I think the main reason is because I don't have a job. If I had a job, I don't, I don't know, I think my dad still would.

He's just really generous like that. I've never really understood it. I'm not generous as well.

So maybe, well, I'll try to be, but he just does it. It's just, I don't know. I just feel that I should be looking after him.

Again, I'm laughing, but, you know, he's the one that's an elderly man now, although he probably wouldn't class himself as an elderly man, but he's, you know, he's 75 or something now, I think. 74, 75. So it just makes sense that I should be, I just wish from that perspective, I wish that I did have money so that if he ever needed medical treatment, I could get him to go private and not to be relying on a service that doesn't work anymore.

So he doesn't have to wait for long periods of time, you know, so, but I can't, I don't have, I don't have that money to do that. That's the only thing really. One of the main things from a, not from a greedy perspective, but just from a reality perspective, I'd like to be in a position to, I guess for myself as well, but I don't really think about myself.

It's more Andre to be able to take him having, you know, dealt with straight away, if he needed help dealt with, you know. And if my dad or a family needed medical treatment, instead of waiting for an appointment, waiting for six months or a year for an operation, they'd have the operation straight away because I'd pay for it. And ironically, it's probably the same person that would do the operation for the NHS, same surgeon.

It's just, you know, they'll do it now if you pay them the money. So that's, that's kind of what I'd like to be in position. Also, I've been watching these videos on gold diggers.

And it's not a spoof, what's it? Basically, it's this man and he, he goes up to her and says, Can you, I want you can help me. For example, give me directions. And then says, I was wondering if you'd like to come for a cup of coffee.

And she, they always say the same thing. No, I've got a boyfriend. And so he doesn't push him.

So he's just, he's just like, being friendly. And they said no. And then he always says, Oh, really, I really appreciate your honesty.

And I feel loyalty is a great thing. And he goes over to his Maserati or his Lamborghini and goes to get into his Lamborghini. And each video shows a person, the same person walking over to him and saying, Well, maybe I could help.

And then he goes through every single scenario saying, But you said you got a boyfriend. And she said, Well, it's not that simple. We don't get on that well at the moment.

And it's really, it's kind of, it's funny to watch. And one, he actually gets arrested, or he gets, because the woman phones the police because he calls her a gold digger. And the police come really heavy handed, handcuff him, saying we're going to handcuff you until we've sorted out whether to arrest you or not.

And in the end, the police unhandcuff him and say to the woman, the only crime here is that you are a gold digger. Because police go through the whole thing, the whole scenario. And it's like, well, this man hasn't actually done anything wrong.

He asked you for directions. He then said, Would you like to go for a coffee? You said no. And he said, Okay, thanks.

No worries. Bye. And you know, and that was it.

And then you followed him and wanted to get into his car and all this stuff. It's just like, wow. So what I've learned from that is I want to get myself a Lamborghini.

Could I get any more shallower? Yes, I could. I really could. The only thing with the Lamborghini is I'd have to learn how to drive.

But if it's that easy to get dates just by driving around a Lamborghini, I can hear the questions. Yeah, but would you really want to date someone that's with you just because you've got a Lamborghini? It depends. But wouldn't you want someone who wants to be with you for who you are as a person? Again, it depends.

I can see the benefits. I've actually seen... I love it. I don't love it, but I've seen situations where... I'm sure it works both ways.

I've just only seen it one way where a girl, and I'll say girl, you're a young woman, was talking to a boy, a young man, and he was just talking and the stuff that came out of his mouth was the least funny thing you could even imagine. A bit like me right now. And she was laughing her head off because she was attracted to him.

That was the only reason. She found him hilarious because she was attracted to him and he wasn't funny. You might say, well, maybe that was her sense of humor.

That is possible. Is possible. But I think something weird happens with people when they're attracted to someone, especially when they're consciously and unconsciously attracted to someone at the same time.

That's some powerful stuff. You know, when hormones and you can smell them, you don't know you can smell them, but your body's reacting to their scent, which happens naturally. There's nothing we can do about it.

You know, we react, our bodies react, our brains react. I don't know if it happens anymore at my age, but it used to when I was 49. It used to when I was young, but I don't know if it happens anymore.

I don't know if... do people of my age produce hormones? I don't know. Do we produce that... not amphetamines, what are they called? Amphetamines? You know, that like invisible stink that you can't smell. Mind you, I worked with a couple of blokes, a couple of men, and they were young, they were like early 20s, and they used to let off a proper stink.

Not BO, but just a certain stink. They literally were fighting the women off. I couldn't work it out.

So maybe they were producing that stink naturally, and that was what was attracting the females to them. I don't know. I mean, there's one friend I had, and he can go anywhere without just being chatted up.

I don't think I've ever experienced it before, before I met him. Well, Andre was a bit like that, but not... he wasn't on that level, but he was still, you know, he was very popular with the ladies, Andre, the original Andre, not the ferret. Although Andre the ferret's more popular than Andre the human ever was, because Andre's got fans all over the world.

But I just remember there was in a nightclub in Stratford, and there was this one woman, again early 20s, and we were both in our early 20s as well at the time, and she was being followed around by the men. It was almost like she was the only woman there, and she wasn't. She was like saying, no, no, no, go away to lots of different men.

And she was following Andre, begging him to go home with her. And he said, no. I said, you can come home with me if you want.

And she said, no. And I said, yeah, but I live with Andre. If you come home with me, you're coming home to his home.

And she said, maybe. And he said, you're not coming home to my home either. And I said, no.

And he split up from his girlfriend. He wasn't with her anymore, but he just still loved her, so he refused to be with anyone else. And this woman, this girl, this woman or whatever you know.

And I kept saying, look, I know I'm not him, but she said, go away, leave me alone. You see all these men in the, you see there's 150 men in this nightclub. I said, yeah.

You wouldn't even reach the top 200. I said, there's only 150. She said, exactly.

That's rude. But she really liked him. He had some weird, I'll tell you.

He attracted women. I don't know why. I do kind of know why.

He was good looking. He was funny. And he was, he was Irish.

I think some, some people liked the accent. And he was, I don't know, he was cheeky. But I think he, I think he had a girl he dated when he did start dating eventually.

He dated a girl that had, he went around her house or her flat or room or whatever she had. And she had a library, well basically a bookcase or a few bookcases full of serial killer books. Books that he just got out of there.

He was scared. He wasn't little. They used to call him No Legs because he was short.

But the ironic thing is he wasn't short. I was, well, we were about the same height, about 5'8". But that's what they called him.

Before I met him, that was his nickname, No Legs. And he used to get called Nicknack as well. Nicknack Paddywhack.

But that was probably, probably not very PC to be doing that. But No Legs, it's just, it's ironic because now I've got Andre and he's practically got no legs. He's got tiny little legs.

But I think it's because Andre used to walk around like Popeye. Like with his shoulders out, tense with his muscles. He just, it was quite funny.

It was like a little, little child walking around trying to be tough. He was, and he was tough, but I don't know. When he did it, it looked funny.

Yeah, what else is there about him? We both, we both applied to be in the Royal Marines. I don't know. We went to have, yeah, we went in, did the physical test.

He passed, I didn't. So this is in 94. So I had lost my fitness to what I used to be.

I used to be proper physically fit. I didn't have the same fitness level that he had because he passed the physical fitness. And they said, yeah, you can apply.

You've got to do the written test, which pretty much everyone passes that anyway. If you can read and write, you're pretty much all passed the, back then anyway, you passed the written test to get into the forces. It wasn't, I passed the test to get into the Navy and to get into the Army.

And, you know, I left school with nothing. I actually nearly did join the Army properly. I just had to go away to, I passed the physical, medical, and the written test.

All I had to do then, and I passed all the, you know, all the security stuff, you know, so I had all my details. All I had to do was turn up for the weekend training. It's a weekend training course, and they decide whether or not you're suitable.

And if you get through the weekend, you think you're in the Army, basically. You're in, they give you a date that you join, you know, you joined basically. And then you go for, is it 12 weeks or whatever, training up in whatever barracks it is, whatever part of the country, train the Army.

It might actually be here, to be fair, but it wasn't. I didn't used to live here. So, but I chickened out.

I kind of wish I hadn't, I kind of wish I'd joined the Army. I think on one level, it would have been good for me. But on another part, I would have ended up going to war, which isn't really something that I would enjoy.

Because, you know, I'd have joined up in 1986. Yeah. And all that stuff in the Gulf, in the 90s, Rwanda, Bosnia, you know, all that stuff.

So there's, there's a lot of stuff I would have got caught up to. So, who knows, it might have done me a real lot of good. But I do, I do wonder, as my friend says to me, shoulda, woulda, coulda.

Yeah, but you can say that about anything though. Shoulda, woulda, coulda. Well, I don't think, I mean, I was in the Sea Cadets, so I had a slight insight into what it would be like to be in the forces.

And probably more than a slight insight, because I was a Sea Cadet for about two years. And, you know, I got taught to march, got taught to do the uniform, clean boots, hold a rifle, how to shoot. Well, that was more just target practice.

But, you know, it's, got used to being shouted at and running around the building with a rifle above my head and all that stuff, because I was naughty. So I had an insight, and I didn't like it. Plus, the Navy wasn't really for me, because I didn't like water.

By that, I mean, I don't like washing. I didn't like, no, yeah. I mean, here's something I have mentioned, but it's, I think I hold the record.

So for getting to be a Junior Seaman, which I think is the very first, very first badge that you get in the Sea Cadets, a Junior Seaman. I might be wrong, I think it is. It's a long time ago.

It took me, I think, two years to get that badge. And they used to do, they, I think they awarded badges every three months. And I saw everybody, and I stayed at the same level of nothing.

I literally didn't have any badges, not badges, a stripe or whatever. And I think I held the record for the person that took the longest to get their first stripe in the Sea Cadets history. Seriously, because I used to go along and just mess around and be rude and not do what I was told and not care.

Which makes you wonder why I went. I tried to leave, but my dad wouldn't let me, for some reason. I only went there, I went there to start with because my friend was going, and he was older than me.

He was probably about six months older than me. And he was going, and he was, I think he was 12. I wasn't 12 yet, but you had to be 12 to join, but I wasn't 12.

But I went anyway. And they said, well, you can come along until you're 12, but you don't have to pay any fees. As your friends come along, you can come along.

So I was taking the money for the fees and I was spending it on, it was only like a pound or 70 pence or something a week, but I was spending it on sweets. And then eventually started paying the fees because I was 12. And then when I was 14, I started doing karate.

Just heard a noise. I don't know what it was. I think it was... I'll tell you what's really weird-ish, weird-ish is, if I don't even make a recording, I'll get 3000 plus, you know, on the quietest day.

And, you know, if I make recordings, I get more than that. But 3000 seems like nothing. Just, it seems like pointless.

Like, what's even the point in that? And the friend of mine pointed out, yeah, it's just because you're used to it. You just see it as a number now. You don't realize that that's quite a lot of people.

And I did a calculation on my calculator because that's a good place to do calculations. And 3000 a day is over a million a year. Can't argue with a million.

A million's a nice number, isn't it? So even on the quietest days, even if every day is the quietest day of the year, it's a million. So, you know, I'm not far off the two million a year now. It's about 1.8 million a year.

So I'm generally, if it works out, but I'll have to wait. I'll wait till the end of this year and I can calculate it. I'll be at least 1.6, 1.7 million, 1.7, maybe more, maybe more.

Don't forget, we've still got October, November, December, plus another 12 days of this month. Time is going by. Anyway, I'm going to go.

Thank you for pretending to listen. And I, hopefully, I'm hoping, I'm hoping I can do some other recordings, you know, some deep sleep whisper and some other stuff. It's just about getting myself motivated to do it.

And also finding the right time because during the day, a lot of activity and lawnmowers and stuff like that going on. So we will see. So anyway, thank you for listening.

Remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to do something nice for yourself. Lots of love. Bye.