#451 Let me bore you to sleep - I'VE NEVER WORN AN ASTRONAUT'S HELMET - Jason Newland (14th July 2020)

Hello and welcome to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. My name is Jason Newland and please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. And if you would like to support this free service please go to paypal.me forward slash Jason Newland.

Blah blah blah. So for those that haven't listened to this recording before, not this recording, this specific recording, this podcast, basically all it is, is me talking about stuff and just being boring really. Yeah, that's it.

That's about all there is. And I've been doing this yesterday. It was number 450.

So it gives you an idea of I've been doing it quite a while. For this particular podcast, I've been doing podcasts and recordings, hypnosis stuff since 2006. Oh, excuse me, that was a nice burp.

A nice gassy belch. Well, I've actually got here in front of me in my hand my phone and I've been going through the dates of the podcast episodes. And the very first one I did was on the 27th of March 2018.

So it was two years and four months, pretty much. And I remember celebrating the 100th episode like it was a big deal. And like, wow, I've done 100.

And that was on the 22nd of February 2019. And the second I got to 200 on the 20th of August 2019. And I got to 300 on the 27th of April 2020.

And I got to 400 by 16th of May 2020. That's not right, is it? No, that's not right at all. No, no, no, no.

No, that's not right. No, I haven't updated the dates for those yet. But I'm in the middle of doing it.

There's so many of them. It's just it's a never ending process. But yeah, so this is number 451.

And I've also did yesterday, number five, Jason's Storytime. And it was... Oh, I just started talking. What's it called? Oh, yeah.

Mrs. Tiggy Winkle. That's it. Mrs. Tiggy Winkle.

That's the name of that story that I told. The Deep Sleep Whispers, I've done 251. Can you believe it? 251.

And the first one I did of that was... I'm just having a look. 1st of January 2015. It's the number one Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis, 1st of January 2015.

The second one was the 2nd of January 2015. Didn't have a third. I did, but it got missing, went missing.

And the fourth one was the 3rd of July 2018. 5th was 6th of August 2018. So I've been doing it for quite a while.

I see a big gap between the first few. I think what happened is I probably did about seven, and I lost them. So I just sort of only had two.

If, yeah, that's what happened. I only had two saved. So I decided to sort of start doing some more.

And I've reached 100 Deep Sleep Whispers by the 1st of June 2019. And then number 200 by the 18th of March. Wow.

This is interesting, isn't it? Wow, who'd have thought? I'll tell you what is it. Well, it's interesting to me. What I find quite weird is I can go to the Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress and Anxiety podcast.

Hopefully I have the right... No, I don't think I have. No. Because I started those in, I think it was January 2018.

And then I started doing them again. Was it 2017? Or was it 2016? I don't know. But I did 34.

And then I started doing them again last summer. I'm now up to 164. It's not bad, is it? It ain't bad if you don't mind.

It ain't bad if you don't mind. If you don't mind being me.Me.

So yeah, I've been in bed. I spent less time in bed today than previous days. So I think I'm getting a little bit, a little bit more energy, which is good.

And I had... I've done... Yesterday, I did... This is today I'm talking about, but yesterday. Yesterday I did one, two... One, Let Me Bore You To Sleep. One deep sleep whisperer.

One relaxation for stress. One relaxation for stress with music. I did the story time one.

So I did five recordings yesterday. So that's, that's cool. I need to do the weekly sleep hypnosis as well.

But yeah, it's yesterday, so I feel like I've kind of accomplished something. I've got a few messages that I should read. Oh, let me have a look.

I'm tired now, but when I've done this, I won't be. And so, Missy Missy sent me a message today saying hello. And I said hello back.

She said, how are you doing today? I said, fine, thanks. How can I help you? That was, that was about six hours ago. So I've not heard anything back.

Rachel says, many thanks. Many thank you, your podcast did it again. So it was about my deep sleep, my latest deep sleep whisper one.

So thank you, Rachel. I'm glad that what I'm doing is useful. I think that's it.

There might be other messages. So look, let's have a little look. Okay, right.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Inbox. Nothing there.

Nothing on this one. Inbox. Nothing.

So I had a few messages on my... I put a picture of my chair. This is yesterday. Here's the famous big black squeaky chair.

It's worn worse than me. Looks a mess. Good picture though.

Good quality picture. And he had a few comments. Casey said, it looks like it doesn't support you very well.

Not very comfortable. And I replied, what's it got to do with you? I didn't know if this is true. And she replied, I had a recliner from a secondhand store.

The only of the shop is setting it up properly for me. Knew it would be too expensive, but this man gets the chairs from nursery homes. When an elderly person dies, the family often doesn't know what to do with the recliner.

I just want to know that the person didn't die in it. I know you never really can know, but it's like, ugh. I mean, sometimes I have to chuck chairs away when I've farted.

And Bethany says, I have imagined this chair so many times and had really, really underestimated its condition. And I replied, you know me, I find it hard to exaggerate. And she said, it's not even close to what I imagined.

And for some reason I wrote this, it doesn't really make sense to me now after reading it. Did you imagine a kind, kind, dirty toilet? It was originally white, hee hee. So what am I saying? That I basically dirtied the chair so much.

I sit on there without any underpants on. I don't know if that's what I was trying to say. I'm not sure.

Sorry, Bethany. Juicy Troopers. Says awesome.

Call it chubby chic. So I'd like that figure. It's, it's really grim, isn't it? It's a really bad, bad chair.

Vanessa says, throw a blanket over and call it good. It looks like a good old chair. This was a few days ago.

I said, it's falling apart, very uncomfortable. And he said, well, then toss it. Well, I need something to sit on.

I'm not quite as flexible to be sitting on the floor. I need something that supports my neck, my head. I can't, I can't just sit in a chair and have my head up the whole time, you know? It's something I can just rest back on.

And Molly wrote, I thought she said this yesterday. Is it still available? So I've, I've given her a price for it. And I went to her and she wants me to send it to her.

10 grand. Do you still sit in it? It doesn't look very comfortable. No, I do.

No duct tape time. I thought he was going to come and kidnap me. And so yeah, that's the messages.

I think that's all the messages. I mean, I might have some others. I don't know.

I can't see any others. No, I think that's it. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. So 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 recordings.

I'm quite pleased with that. Yeah, quite pleased with it. Yeah, yes I am.

Yeah, quite pleased with it. Sometimes I wish I could eat the sandwich with ham. No, I don't.

So that's, that's all the messages I've got. Oh, that was exciting. My glasses, they're wonky.

Really wonky. I mean, is that that artist that used to make the eyes like one? Yeah, like really wonky in the paintings. Is that Casanova? I don't know, but it's, that's what I look like.

One eye on my forehead and the other one on my knee. That's where their glasses are. It's really, really bad.

Yeah, sure. I thought about writing a book. I've mentioned this before, but I'm actually thinking about it, like properly thinking about it.

And the reason for that is because I listen, I've been listening to this book, audio book. I'm like, isn't it weird? I've just got another message from G. G. Cooper's Explaining Rampian. So those, I did, I think I've mentioned it because someone else sent me a thing.

It's, well, I didn't understand. Thank you for that. So I want to put, so G. G. Cooper is in the Goldie, Golden, I don't know, whatever.

It was a Rapunzel, wasn't it? Her mother was absolutely obsessed with eating the rampion in the old witch's garden. And I didn't understand that. Well, I couldn't figure it out because I suppose it was an enchanted garden, but rampion, from the sounds of it, it's just more like a root vegetable, like an onion or a radishy kind of stuff.

And I like radishes. I'll be honest with you. I don't like being honest, as you know, but I didn't used to like radishes.

I went through a period when I hated weird things. Now I love it. It's just different.

It's just periods, isn't it? It's just, I went years where I didn't like weird things. And that's probably my favorite cereal. I like cornflakes as well.

Actually, my favorite cereal, not as a cereal, but as my favorite cereal that I would eat as a snack is golden nuggets. Oh, just saying it, my whole body vibrates with excitement. Golden nuggets.

Mmm. Absolutely love them. And I think it's Nestle back then.

Are they still available? Let me have a look. Some things are just too important to ignore. So golden nuggets.

Nestle Nugget Cereal Tesco. Oh, they are. They're still available.

Are they correcting to me? It's Nestle. Golden nuggets are yummy, crunchy, honey flavored cereal balls that contain eight vitamins and minerals that you need every day. And the right amount of sugar that you need every year.

I love them. Love, love, love them. The one thing I don't eat, never really kind of been against it right from the start is chocolate in breakfast cereal.

But when I say I'm against it, it's not like a political view. Now I'm not outside the cereal factories and the supermarkets holding up banners or anything like that. I'm not quite that bored with my life to be doing stuff like that.

But chocolate, no. See, I don't like chocolate spread. Although when I think of chocolate spread, I feel quite nostalgic.

Because I've been friends with people that do like chocolate spread. And it does taste, it tastes nice and it smells nice. In fact, I guess I do like it, but there's something about it I just won't eat it.

Because it doesn't really taste chocolatey. It's a weird kind of a taste that is nice, but it's just not my kind of thing, really. I prefer marmalade, even though you say, well, it's two different things.

Yeah. But as far as a spread to put on toast, there's not that many different things. You've got jam, you've got marmalade, jelly, you might call jam in other countries.

Wrongly, it isn't jam, but it's okay. And you've got marmite, what other things? I mean, is it Vegemite? Do you have that? Does that still exist? I think marmite is still around. They tried to sell it using hypnosis, like doing a spoof hypnosis advert, you love marmite.

And I actually used a hypnotist, like a real life hypnotist on the advert. And I suppose technically, it's very possible to get someone to like something they don't like. It's really, it'd probably be quite easy, actually.

But then why? Unless the thing that they need to like is going to really be beneficial to them. And I can see the benefit of trying to get someone to like something they don't like. Just let them not like it if they don't like it.

Unless, of course, you know, if they don't like things like phobias. And I came, I came over, a woman came over to me, came, client came to me about a phobia of bridges. And she couldn't stand going over this bridge and she'd drive all the way out of the way to get to where she was going to avoid the bridge.

And she ended up having to fly home sometimes. I made that up. But so I did one session with her.

And she was coming back the next week. And she came back and said, fine, I'm fine now. I said, well, what do you think it was that made the difference? She said, well, I was sitting on the cinema car, getting closer to the bridge.

And I realized, if I don't cross this bridge now, and get over this phobia, if I don't get over it, I'm going to have to keep going back to see you. And I just couldn't stand that. So I just faced the phobia and I realized that even if the bridge crumbled, and you know, collapsed, that's better than having to come and see you every week.

I thought, oh, good. That's nice. Happy to help.

She said, no problem. Bye. She said this on the phone, by the way.

She had actually seen me. She said it through a window on the phone. She was in a hot air balloon basket.

So when I went out to her and she'd gone, things people would do to avoid being near me. It's amazing. Honestly.

Is it true? Or is it just one of Jason's lies? Oh, I'm going to do a book. I'm going to write a book. I said I was going to show you.

I'll show you, tell you the book that I've been listening to. It's called Fast Draft Your Memoir. So let me have a look.

Fast Draft Your Memoir. Book details. It's by Rachel Herron.

narrated by Rachel Herron. It's four hours and 40 minutes long. The summary is this is your roadmap for completing the memoir you dreamt about writing.

So I started listening to it yesterday while I was laying down. I thought, well, if I'm going to lay in bed, I might as well try and do something with that time. And the first thing she said was she looked at the difference between doing an autobiography and a memoir.

A memoir. That doesn't sound right, does it? A memoir. Give or say a word that just doesn't sound right.

Memoir. So something that a cat would say. Autobiography of a cat.

It's a memoir. Memoir. Now that sounds weird.

It's a weird noise. Memoir. Anyway, so the idea is I'm thinking is to write a short memoir about a specific thing that's happened in my life.

That way I can write maybe quite a few different memoirs. And some of it can just be made up. You know, just a mixture of truth and silliness.

And I just call it the Let Me Fall Into Sleep Memoirs. Book one. And just give it a title or something.

Release it as an ebook or Kindle on Amazon for free. So I'll do that for free. And I was thinking maybe I could do one every month.

Just be, you know, short, maybe 30 pages long, 60 pages long. Wouldn't be, you know, wouldn't be like a big book. But just me talking about a specific thing.

So let's say going to Spain for the afternoon. Just as an example. Or the first day in the children's home.

Or work in the chip shop. Although that would be, I could probably write about 500 page book on that. But yeah, you know, I mean, so it'd be, because that was two years of my life.

So that was quite a big, it was big because of my age, you know, 15 to 17. First full time job. Yeah, it was a really weird time, really, for me.

I think it is for a lot of people that age. And I was still waiting to go through puberty. Still am.

So I, that's what I'm thinking of doing, thinking of maybe writing a memoir every day, every day. I won't be writing every day, but it'll be maybe doing like one chapter a day for 30 days. Or I don't know, as an example, I'm not sure.

So it won't be a big book. It'll be something you can probably read in an hour or two. But it will just be boring.

I'll be extra, extra boring. So you can, you can read it before sleep. That would kind of, kind of be what it would be about.

I don't know what you think. Let me know. All right, who wants to know how much money I've got in the bank? Come on.

I love to share. I love to share. Okay, got my online banking.

Right. Bearing in mind, I'm nearly 50. Okay.

So when did I start working? At 15. So 25, 35, 45. So I left school 20, 15, 25, 35, 45.

35 years ago I left school. So in 35 years, as an adult, pretty much, I have accrued a total balance of £1.53. So proud of myself. I wouldn't believe it.

I'm just like, wow, I've just done so well. £1.53. So let me have a look. £1.53 divided by 35 years.

Oh, my God. Wow. No, that can't be true.

Wow. £1.53. Okay. I don't believe this.

£1.53 divided by 35 years is four pence. That can't be true, surely. £1.53. So 0.04. Four pence times 35.

In fact, it's even more. Wow. So 0.04 times 10 is 40 pence.

That's for 10 years. 4 pence a year. That's how much I've saved.

Now that is impressive. That is, you can't argue with that. That is pretty phenomenal.

I have saved 4 pence. Let's work out what this is in. 0.04. Converted.

It's not bad, it's more in America. It's $50. It's 50 cents rather.

So 50 cents a year for 35. No, that's not right, is it? 5 cents. Sorry, not 50.

It's 5 cents a year. 5 cents a year for 35 years. Wow.

It's weird, you know. I had more money when I was at school than I have now. But then I didn't have to pay for anything, did I? I'd just buy sweets and chocolate.

Or candy, if that's what you call it. I think candy's a nicer word, actually. I'll be my candy girl.

Move on across the world. Candy girl. I'm going to one day marry Whitney.

Be my candy girl. Candy girl. Do-do-do-do-do-do.

4 pence a year. And how much that is a week. I don't think the fractions go that low, do they? Do you realize I could actually walk around the streets and find that amount of money? I could walk around one day a year, probably for a couple of hours, and I could find that amount.

Probably more, like 5, 10 pence. I'm thinking that Jeff Bezos is not being kept awake, worrying about me as a threat to his throne. How do you spell throne? Because I tried to write the word on Facebook earlier, and I couldn't get it.

So, T-H-R-O-A-N, throne. That didn't sound right, didn't look right. Throne, T-H-R-O-W-N, throwing someone.

Hours. Throne. Throw an, throw on.

T-H-R-O-N, throw in. I don't know. Sometimes I just don't want to search.

I don't want to go on to Google and search stuff. I want to try and use my brain. Because I used to have, well I do have a brain.

Do I have a brain? I must have someone. Google ads, update about the Brazilian LGBT. Oh, there's a new data law in Brazil.

I've just got an email about it. ABC, this is one, two, three. I've got no email messages.

Apparently the hypnotherapy society. Dear members, this is from hypnotherapy association. The AHA board has discussed the issues regarding return into practice and have issued the attached recommendations that we hope you will find helpful in reassuring.

Please note that the advice will most likely be updated from time to time. So when in doubt, please use the links to the government and NHS guidelines that are in the document. Of course, if you need further clarifications, either email or phone the office.

So are the guidelines. Let's have a look. Recommended for grandparents to return to practice.

Follow the government's recommendations for safety until they recommend it to be safe to do otherwise work remotely or online. To prepare for return to practice, access your work, place for hygiene and social distancing. You know, the, what are they called? You know, like the nail places and there's open to gain and the beauty salons and stuff.

But the one thing they can't give is facials. And I think eyebrows as well. You can't give people, they can't do the eyebrow stuff.

Because you're too close to do that. You can't, you can't give. Yeah, so yeah.

It's, I don't know what the eyebrow, is that like, is that the ones where you put hair into the eyebrow? It is, isn't it? Eyebrow threading? I don't know. I'm not an expert on such things. I've never had my eyebrows threaded.

Eyebrows are weird, because as I got older, they start to just grow in different directions. You know, I'm not prepared to be, even though I've got the most weirdest, grimest beard at the moment. It's really just quite awful.

But I'm enjoying it. For some reason, I don't know why. I like playing with it.

It gives me something to play with. And it gives me something to play with on the bus without getting kicked off. And I, my eyebrows, sometimes I get a hair and it just appears out of nowhere and it's sticking up.

So it has to be removed or trimmed. Like no, what are you doing? I don't want to have big, bushy eyebrows. And I might do when I get older, I might, I might care as much about my eyebrows as I do about my beard, which means I won't care at all.

And I'm gradually just turning into a tramp, really, just bit by bit. It's, yeah, the beard, honestly, the beard is awful. Honestly, I brushed it.

I brushed it, what was it, last night with my hairbrush. A cat fell out. Seriously, couldn't believe it.

It's almost like it didn't happen. I quite like the feeling of brushing the beard. It feels nice.

It really does feel nice, something quite yummy about getting a hairbrush. I don't bother brushing my hair much these days. I'm growing it now.

And it's now got to the point where it's, it's too long. What do you call it? Is it like the tip of the temple, but you know, as your hair recedes, my hair's receded, it's gone up at the sides of the front, but kind of at the sides of the front. And the longer it gets, the more obvious it is because there's like these little islands of hair.

And it's not, I mean, I think I don't look better with short hair, but my hair looks better with short hair. Yeah, that's a strange thing to say. If you saw my head without my face, when it's shaved, or when it's really like really, really, really, really short, a crew cut, my hair looks good.

It's really tidy. And you know, I think I've got a few scars on my head and a weird, weird dent, which is strange to know where that came from. I don't know, it's just the right or left side.

I've got a dent in my head and my scalp. But then if you move down and include my face, it just doesn't look right. I think from a distance with my hair, my face, it looks okay.

But then when you just focus on the hair on the same, it's like, oh, no, no, no, no. Something's got to be done about that. That's just wrong.

That's just wrong. So I'm thinking of getting myself a hat. I'm wearing a hat all the time.

And just let my hair grow long, proper, proper long. Really, really long. And I want to see how curly it gets, and also how ginger it gets.

Although a lot of the ginger would be grey now. But I'm just interested in how ginger my hair is, because it doesn't really show when it's short. And the curls don't really show.

And it's now just about getting to the point where it's starting to curl a little bit at the sides. But not much yet. And at the front as well, curling up a little bit.

By Christmas, it will be unmanageable. So I'm looking forward to that. That should be fun.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I did before.

I grew my hair. It was in 1991. I think it was Easter.

And I decided probably March time that I was going to grow my hair long. And my hair was really getting out of... It was getting curly. It was getting a bit silly.

So I used to wear a hat. And as soon as my hair was long enough, I put it into a ponytail, like even a little bit elastic band with as much of hair as I could get in there. So you know, and then it just grew longer and longer.

And I just added the hair into the ponytail. So I've never had my hair... Well, I did sometimes, but I really had my hair out of the ponytail, simply because it's so curly. How curly? Well, nice that you asked.

If you look at Mick Hucknall, that's kind of... I don't know if you can imagine him without his face. If you imagine Mick Hucknall's hair, it's really curly. That's what my hair is like.

I basically live to be like Bob Dylan. Yeah, that's what my hair was like, just really... Yeah, if you want to see what my hair's like, Bob Dylan, young Bob Dylan. That's what my hair... That's what I looked like when I was in my early 20s.

Wild hair. But it's really weird. I mean, I liked having long hair and my girlfriend at the time liked me having long hair.

And it was 2004. So I had long hair for a few years. It was long by the end of 91.

Not long, long, but long enough to sort of belong to me. And then 92, 93, and all the way to December 94, it was down pretty much to the middle of my back, maybe lower back kind of length. And I'd wake up and it was just sticking out.

It was just awful. I couldn't get a brush for it, couldn't get a comb for it. Sometimes I'd have to wet it or wash it in order to make it pliable.

And I got fed up with it actually. So one day, I think it was a Saturday and it was in the summer. I woke up and another day where I couldn't get my brush for it.

And I had a tantrum. And I went to the hairdressers or the barbers, which is just at the end of the road. I'd been going there and I continued to go there for over 10 years actually.

That was my hairdresser. So wherever I was in London, I always used to go there because that was my one. I knew him, you know, he was Italian and he was cool.

And I liked him and what was his name? Spaghetti. Let me have a look. I bet because he was there for a long time.

Italian, barber, barber. Forest Gate. Okay, let's have a look.

Shars, what do you call Shars? I don't know. Up to name, no. Barbecue.

Barbecue. It's like a burger, yeah. The barbershop.

Green Street, no, that's not it. Shans, Shars, no, that's not. Umar, no.

The Italian barbers in Covent Garden. No. What? This is, it's not funny, but it just says, it's a headline.

Man robbed at knifepoint in barbershop, then carries on with his haircut. Wow. I think, I think there, I think I got that wrong.

No, it's the barber. The gang approached the customer by the entrance and got him to take his watch off. Okay, so this is all inside the shop.

It's on CCTV. The barber can then be seen carrying on with the haircut as if nothing had happened. Wow.

Blimey. Anyway, Giuseppe or something, I'm sure it might have been Giuseppe. Giuseppe.

Let's have a look at it. Giuseppe. Forest Gate, Burger Point.

Because I would have Here's what I'm thinking, that he would have been a famous. Zizo. Zizo.

That sounds possibly smoking trims. Um, I'm looking for something that sounds Italian. Can't see anything.

The barbershop. Zizo. Safe.

The Italian barbershop. Billy's Barbers. Dynasty.

The Italian barbers. Rocket Barber. The Wanted.

The One Stead Barbershop. Inland. Nothing that sounds Italian.

I don't know. Anyway, I went into Spaghetti Shop. And he was lovely.

I really liked it. He was pretty much kind of getting on to retirement age when I met him. I think he was retiring.

But he was full of energy. You know, he wasn't retiring as a person. Full of energy.

Very funny. Anyway, for years, he kept going. So I used to go and have a trim because he said you've got you've got to trim the split ends.

Otherwise, your head will explode. So I thought, okay. Well, I'm not sure how, uh, how honest he was being with that one.

But we didn't have Google back then. So I couldn't check it. No fact checking abilities.

So I kept going and said, please let me cut your hair. Let me cut it. Let me pretend to do it.

I think once he actually got some hair, he must have got it off the floor or something. And he pretended to accidentally cut it. He showed me this big long bit of hair.

He laughed all the way to the hospital. Now he laughed. And honestly, I'd walk past there and look and point to his eyes and point at my ponytail.

One day I'm gonna get it. I'm gonna Okay. I just want to go home.

And he was lovely. He's I think if you get a hairdresser or barber that you like, if it's cool, I don't have one now. But if I was still there, I'd still be going to him.

100%. I liked it. And it's probably be 100 now.

But I just, you know, I'd see whoever else was there, but I'd still be going to that place. And maybe it was Giuseppe's, Giuseppe's. So I went in there.

And there was a queue Saturday morning. Saturday, like, you know, about 11 o'clock in the morning. It's the busiest day.

Plus, I think they're closed in the afternoon. They don't even open for the morning. And there's about six people waiting.

And I go, Sal, there's no chance. He said, Well, what do you what do you want me to do? I said, I want to get it all cut off. He said, No, you'll be next.

You can come next. Everyone out, everyone out. Priority, my favourite customer.

He has a booking. It's like what? And he got me in the ERC. He chucked the person out that he was already washing, you know, he's doing okay, so you're done, you're finished.

That's finished. And I walked out half his hair done. And he sat me down and honestly, I've never seen anyone happier.

The only time I've ever seen anyone happier was back in 2004. I was working. By the way, that's the chair squeaking on me.

I was working in the evolution shop. And I honestly, no, there was another person but I think he was on crack. I was in London and he had the biggest smile on his face I've ever seen.

He was just walking down the street side. You know, I'm assuming it was something going on there. But I saw this little girl in a pushchair and a pram kind of buggy or whatever you want to call it.

And she was with her mom or a female adult. I don't know if it was a mom didn't ask her ID. And this little girl had the biggest lollipop.

And I think it was like multi multi colors like a rainbow. And it was nearly honestly, it was like the size of her head. And she was licking it.

I couldn't even see her face. And then she, I think the customer was a regular customer. She had so shallow.

And she pulled, she had to hold it. She actually had to have three people helping her to hold the lolly because it was so heavy. Had a little crane.

It's not true. But she moved the lolly out of the way so I could see her face. Biggest smile ever.

That moment, that little girl was the happiest human being up to that point. I think I'd ever seen. That was contentment.

Pure joy. That lollipop. It's amazing.

She's so happy. And actually filled me with happiness. Just wow.

I said to her, Mom, where did you get that lolly from? She said, Oh, it's the other side of town. But it was the last one. So I stole it.

Took it off the little kid. And I washed it off first, obviously. But it was nice.

Kid didn't see. The kid stopped smiling after that. No, that didn't happen.

Or did it? Happiest smile. And there's a reason I was mentioning that because there was another smile I was going to mention. But I can't remember what it was.

Oh, the hairdresser. Man. Seriously.

Basically, you could transfer that same face. But instead of lollipop, there was a pair of scissors. And that's what I had behind me.

Biggest smile. Biggest grin. I didn't realize he had so many teeth.

I actually thought he was going to eat my head. Absolutely grinning. Really happy.

He says, Are you sure? Are you really sure? Because I teased him in the past. Remember when he once said, Yeah, cut it all off. And he went to do it.

I said, No. I was actually wearing a wig. So he thought he'd done it and he hadn't.

Yeah, that's a bit of a weird day. But anyway, he said, Are you sure? Are you sure? I said, Yeah. And he did.

And he gave me a lovely haircut. And I pretty much kept that style, that hairstyle ever since really. Apart from when I started shaving my head in 2003.

Or in 2002. I lose track. It might have been 2003.

Yeah, I started shaving my head. I'm shaved. All off.

Andre just climbed through. This is his new thing now. I think it's brilliant.

Because he's got, I put his Lilia and sent me a gift for Andre, which is a tube. It's like a play tube for Andre to sort of play in. Which he is right now playing in it.

So I put it, I angled it. So when he's behind the door, when he wants to go to the toilet, or wants to go to the paper on the other side of the room, he climbs through the tube. And then he climbs and he climbs through it, going back as well.

Because I think one of the things he gets out of it, it helps him to scratch his back. So I think quite a lot of people likes it. So he loves his tubes.

He says, Thank you, Aunty Lilia. He's a happy little monkey he is. Took him out again today for a nice long walk.

Or he took me for a nice long walk. And then when he was tired, I carried him back. He did something.

What did he do today that was different, normal? Or did I mention that yesterday? Did he some different behavior to what he normally does? I don't know. I mean, even today, he woke me up for his dinner, because I was having a nap. He woke me up so I could get his dinner and he was sitting on my pillow again.

Licking my face. The thing is, I love it. Not the pillow bit.

And usually it's fine. But you know, yesterday, I'm not sure. But I love it.

Sometimes I think that he just doesn't even care about me. And it's just, I just happen to be here. Or he doesn't need me.

Even though he does, he doesn't realize it. But he doesn't feel that he needs me. And the food magically appears.

And, you know, it's just everything just happens. But, you know, the clearing up happens magically. Just like having children, isn't it? I guess, I suppose.

Because he's my little baby boy. Making some weird noises. Anyway, he's been doing this for a few days in a row now.

Waking me up. Or sort of coming and sleeping in the bed with me. That's quite cool.

Quite like that. Right? Some banging on the radio, as for some reason. Anyway, what happened is, I had my hair cut.

Went out on that evening with my friends I was living with. And possibly with perhaps some people from work. And this was probably July 2004.

And I pulled, I did pull, pulled a lady in a nightclub. And my friends would tease me, sort of saying, you know, the next day, when I got home, they'd say, how did you get on with Pat Butcher? That's what we talked about. Pat Butcher, the woman he was with last night.

That's such teasers. It wasn't Pat Butcher. Anyway, I'm gonna go.

So thank you very much for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love.

Bye.