#470 Let me bore you to sleep

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let me bore you to sleep. Please only listen and you can safely close your eyes.

Oh dear, oh dear. I've put a t-shirt and a kind of a cardigan on the armrests of this chair I'm sitting in. Which means it's not going to make those sucking noises that it normally makes.

So I'm lifting up my arms. There's no sound but I'll put on to the other one if I take it off. Listen.

That's going to save me about half an hour of editing. Admittedly, yesterday's recording. Andre was making so much noise that I didn't do hardly any editing.

Plus, oh blimey, let me tell you about this. Well, first of all, the adverts are gone. There are no adverts on the podcasts.

This time it's not because of complaints from other people. It's, I mean, they weren't on there long enough. They were on there for less than one day.

I put them on about three o'clock yesterday morning and I took them off about seven o'clock in the evening. So I spent all day yesterday, and it might be four, trying to figure out how to increase the loudness of the recordings to match the loudness of the adverts. I even bought software, like an app, online to do it.

It's called 1495, and it still didn't work out how I wanted it to because my recordings are quiet. All my recordings are quiet because I talk quietly, and when I increase the volume, I increase the loudness, you get more of the background sounds that are there, and it's a little bit distorted. I don't have either the professional know-how or the professional equipment to, I don't know, make it or to correct that problem.

Or the motivation either, I think. I'm not lazy. I mean, I put quite a lot of effort into it, and I've been looking at it for over a week or two weeks to find a way to just to increase the quality of the recordings, not necessarily in order to have adverts, but just, you know, find a way that I can edit and make things a bit better.

Well, I know how I can edit as far as taking out bits, and yeah, I think I can probably improve the recording, but not the loudness, if that makes sense. So I've kind of come to the conclusion that, well, I just decided to get rid of the adverts. That's it.

So there's two ways this can go. Either I just need to get enough support from those who listen to counter costs, that's it. And I just, I don't like keep asking though, because it's not a one-off thing.

It's like every month, three or four times a month, I've got stuff to pay out for. I've now got more storage for the eye, was it eye storage or whatever it's called, to store the recordings. So that's not a lot, that's I think like four pounds a month, so it's not a lot.

But, you know, the website will be back again. That's coming up. The podcast is coming up.

It's, you know, oh man, it's, I'm not going to go into that, it's just a bit boring. It's very repetitive. It's like it's just the same stuff, but every month it comes back.

It don't go away. I could pay yearly, or I could probably pay yearly for both, but that's too much, because the yearly one for the podcast would be 1,000 pound plus, or $1,000 plus. And for the websites, $30, $60, yeah, $350 or something.

A year. So, you know, I suppose I could have like a yearly, like a get together. So I'll come on, I'll get together, but a yearly ask to say, can you help me to pay the website and the podcast for the next year? And sort of do that for a month leading up to the costs needed.

But it just seems like a lot of money. And if I didn't get the help I needed, then I'd have to close down the podcasts because I wouldn't be able to pay it myself. I don't know.

I mean, I prefer monthly, even my own personal bills. I do everything monthly if I can. The only thing I don't do monthly is the water bill, which is every three months.

That's because I don't have the option to do it monthly. As far as I'm aware. But that's okay, because it's not a lot of money.

It's not never much more than about 70, 80 pound every three months. But the electric and gas is monthly. Council tax monthly.

TV license monthly. What else? The internet monthly, website monthly. Podcasts monthly.

The iPad monthly. The phone monthly. The catalog monthly.

And I'm still paying off for the shed in a studio. Still paying off the Android tablet that I'm using to record this. And I only use it for this.

I don't use this stuff for anything else. Everything I use. Occasionally I have a little wander around the internet, but not that often.

It's mainly using it for, you know, research or for working on a website or uploading or editing and that kind of thing. And as far as watching TV, whether it's Netflix or YouTube, all that stuff, I watch that on television. I don't do that online.

I do do it online. I don't do it on the tablet, generally. Occasionally I'll watch a YouTube video on my phone.

Occasionally I'll watch something on the tablet, but generally it's on the TV because it's bigger. I can see it better. And most of the time when I'm on YouTube, I'm researching how to use the new app that I purchased yesterday or the day before.

And I followed all the guidelines, but it just didn't. I mean, it did get louder. It did.

And it hit the LUF of minus 16, but it was distorted. It was distorted. So, yeah, I wasn't hugely impressed with that.

And that's partly because I suppose it's just because I'm talking softly. It's very gentle, very quiet, but it's supposed to be. That's the whole point.

Not the whole point, but I don't think many people want to be shouted to sleep. I did think about doing a recording like that just for a laugh, but I'd have to do it in a field. I don't want to be doing something like that in my house.

I thought I'd go into the field on a really calm day, but there's no no wind recording on my phone. I'm just going through a whole relaxation session, but shouting instead of doing like the opposite to a sleep recording, but going through the whole process, but shouting really loudly. Guaranteed, while I'm doing it, it's going to be dog walkers approaching and then leaving.

I mean, who knows? Police might get called. There's a man in the fields yelling really loudly. But I partly feel relaxed at the same time.

I'm scared and relaxed. So I can hear a sound. Bloody hell, I don't know what that was.

It sounded like some kind of weird jack-in-the-box. The thing is, I have to have the window open, and it just means that, I don't know why, but the way, it's the way the building's shaped. You can just hear everything other people are doing and saying, especially when they're loud, which most people seem to be for some reason.

And it's like almost a sound trap. You get wind traps. It's kind of like a sound trap.

So I try and talk quietly because I don't want to be disturbing other people. In reality, I'm talking really quietly. There's no way in the world that they're going to be able to hear me anyway.

Realistically, unless they've got a ladder in the window. But I can hear me. That's the thing.

I can hear my voice. So I kind of assume other people can as well. So I can hear some weird noises, especially sort of at night when I've got the window open.

Normally, I've closed the window when I make these recordings, but it's just been so hot, so hot. And you may notice a lack of ferret activity at this moment. And I put that down to Andre being tired from walking.

I took him out for a late night walk, came home and he's disappeared. I don't know where he is. Generally don't know where he's sleeping.

I think he's in the shed. Fast asleep. And all day I put him into the cage when I was making yesterday's recording, early hours of yesterday morning.

And he was making so much noise, scratching at the front door, really. It was too much. It was I think like three o'clock in the morning or something.

Put him in his cage, which is in the storage room. And I had a really good sleep. This just shows that I think we need to be kept apart when I'm sleeping, because he does climb on me and everything like that.

So I do like it. I do like the cuddle. But at the same time, plus the storage room is a lot cooler in there than it is anywhere else.

There's no window. There's air vents, but there's no windows. There's no heat.

There's no sunshine in there. And I let him out when I wake up. When I woke up about, I don't know, about 10 o'clock.

And he was just lying down on one of the surfaces, just waiting for me. But that's what I thought. And he had his eyes open.

But I'm waving at him and he's asleep. So he'd basically fallen asleep with his eyes open. Probably staring at the door, waiting for me to open it, and fall asleep in that position.

So I open the top door of the cage and he's still laying there. And I'm thinking, oh, I hope he's all right. So I open the middle door, which I never normally do.

And it's been left open. So if I put him in his cage, I'll have to remember to close it. Otherwise, he'll be scratching at the door.

And then he woke up. So he was actually, he didn't have his eyes wide open, but they were, you know, half open. But maybe he can do that when there's no light on.

When it's dark outside, when it's dark, I think his eyes work much better in the dark than they do in the light, which is a bit of a strange thing. But yeah, I suppose it makes sense, all the tunneling that he was doing. In reality, if he was out in the wild, he'd be spending quite a lot of time underground, I suppose, digging and hunting and all that stuff.

Weird things that ferrets do. Digging for gold. So I let him out at my breakfast.

He spent all day in my bedroom, sleeping in a carrier bag. All day. He got up occasionally and had some water, stuff like that.

But he was in the carrier bag all day long. Didn't even come and see me or anything. Now, I don't know if that's because he's got the umbra with me.

I would put it down to the heat. It just exhausts him. And he was in bed, you know, just asleep.

Now, I'd have thought being in a carrier bag when it's hot is like the worst thing ever, but not for him. It's very strange. He's got the choice, you know, he's got the whole, he's got room after room that he can choose.

Different places to sleep, including my bed. And he did at one point, I was having a lay down earlier and he was, he came and laid down with me, on me. And I was on my side, I was laying on my right side.

And he came and laid on my side as well. And I put my arm on his, kind of like his hips, you know. And he just laid there and he was fine for about half an hour.

And normally he doesn't really like to be touched when he's asleep. But for some reason he's, you know, I took my hand away and doing other things, you know, and sort of, and doing other things. I just, you know, scratching my head or whatever.

And he, normally, that'd be his opportunity to escape my clutches, you know. But I wasn't holding on to him, I was just resting my hand on his lower back. And I just put it back on and he was happy.

So I quite like that. I feel quite close to him when we do that. But it does make a difference to be able to take my socks off.

I know it sounds gross to leave your socks on in bed and stuff, especially in the summer. It bites my toes. I don't want my socks on any time of the year.

I really don't. Not when I'm in bed. Not even now.

I've got my socks on now. I don't want socks on. It's the hottest, hottest part of the year.

But he will absolutely attack my toes and my feet and it will, you know, draws blood. You know, he doesn't mean to, but he can't control himself. So, you know, I wear socks.

But when I put him in his cage and I lay down to go to bed, I'll have my t-shirt off, I'll have my socks off and it'll be blissful. Yeah, that'd be cool. It won't be for a while though, because I'm not tired.

So, you know, I'm worked out. And the only reason I share this stuff with you about like finance and stuff, isn't it? It's just because, I don't know, I just like being open and talking about what's going on in my life. And this is the stuff that's going on.

And I figured out while I was on the toilet, I had a spare four minutes to think. So I thought, okay, I figured out if 10% of the people that listen to my podcasts monthly, or just 10% were to give me $5 a month, just 10% of the people, I would have enough to live a fairly good living. So I need to get to the point where my stats, where I've got enough people listening, but all I need is 1%.

Because 1%, I think, from a sales perspective, 1% is a doable figure. You'd expect 1%. You know, regardless of what you did, if you asked a thousand people to do a little silly dance in the street, or to just do something really something that most people wouldn't do, at least 1% probably say yes to do it.

Just statistically, 1 in 100 would say yes. So out of a thousand people, you're probably going to get 10 people say yes. And I think quite often with statistics, I tell you where statisticians go wrong a little bit, is they base some of their studies are based on such a small control group, or a small research group, you know.

And I discovered this when I did sales. Now, I'd be in the office for, let's say, eight hours, usually more actually, I used to do so. And I would get, I'd average probably 25%.

For every quote I got, I'd get about, yeah, for every four quotes, I'd get a sale. When I was, when I had my first job in the area, different places, but I was usually about 24%, 25% ratio, sale ratio, not on call to sell, but quote to sell. Some people used to phone up and say, in front of an office and say, yeah, the current insurance is due in next March.

Why are you getting a quote now then? I just want to see how much it's going to be. And then the phone up, and then instead, there was a time you could say no, call back closer to the time. And then they started saying, well, you have to quote everybody.

And I realized now part of that really is because they were getting people's details, weren't they? And very likely selling them on. I didn't know about that stuff back then. So as a company, 250 salespeople, imagine how many names and addresses and personal details, car, age, date of birth, all that personal stuff that they got from people.

I'm not saying that they sold that information on because I've got no idea if they did or not. And what I do know is I've had, I don't know if I've got a telephone number from Sky, a new telephone number, new contract phone from Sky about three years ago. I didn't give that telephone number out to anybody, not a soul, other than people that already had, you know, like family, like about six people.

Within a month, I was getting sales calls, people that knew who I was as well. So that clearly was Sky selling us that information on. So I think it's a scummy thing to do, personally.

Especially if you're paying for a service, you know what it does when I'm in a moaning mood? Tell you what annoys me, is boxing. They'll have like a really big fight on, let's say heavyweight championship of the world. It's really big.

And they charge a 20 pound for the fight, pay-per-view, which is about how much it costs in the UK. I think 25 is the most I've ever seen it be at, but usually it's about between 16 pound and 20. And then, and this will be on Sky, for example, yeah? Well, I'm talking about Sky, yes, Sky.

And then they'll show adverts in between the rounds. And all the way through the show, all the way through, from beginning to end, they'll show adverts to people that have already paid 20 pounds each. They've already made millions and millions of pounds.

Because I don't know how many people would tune in to watch. They've got to have like half a million pay-per-view. Sky, I reckon, for a big fight, times by 20.

So, that's sort of 10 million. Maybe it's 400,000, maybe it's 300,000, maybe it's a million, I really don't know. People, but it's a lot of money they're getting in.

And then, I used to bug me about cinema as well. What the hell are you doing showing? I've just paid. It's been a while since I've been to a cinema, but you know, I just paid six pound to get in here.

I just probably double the money paying for popcorn and, you know, a drink. Double it again, if I'm with someone. And now you're showing me adverts.

Now, I don't mind adverts of films coming up. And that's part of the experience, isn't it? It's cool. I want to, especially on a big screen, because it really looks good.

It's like, yeah, show me a few films that are coming up. I'm happy with that. But don't show me adverts that I watch on television.

Don't show me an advert for toothpaste. And yeah, okay, I could do it. I need to get my teeth whitened.

They're actually blue now. Is that normal? I've got three green teeth and the rest are blue. I think it's normal.

It's normal for me. So, see, I try and talk through my throat so that if I do lose my teeth, I'm not going to be so dependent. I can still talk.

Okay. I know there's going to be the tongue action. So the tongue will be moving further instead of the teeth to the gum.

And I'm also going to need to get myself a girlfriend before I lose my teeth. I don't intend to lose my teeth, but I'm just saying, if it was to happen, I don't think losing my teeth will help my situation. I think my nan lost all her teeth.

And she had, I don't know, some kind of illness or something. But then my granddad, he had all, well, I think he might have had a couple of teeth missing or something, you know, a couple of extractions over the years. But at 80, he pretty much had a full set of teeth.

And he'd been in a concentration camp during the war, you know. It's like, wow, he was German. But yeah, it's, he wasn't, he wasn't.

I know it's pretty silly to think, well, let's base what I'm going to look like and my future on my nan and my granddad. Because it's not, it's not that sensible. Because then I've got a whole set of grandparents that I never met.

My granddad was, he died before I was even born, I think. Yeah, yeah, he did. And my grandmother, I never met her.

Well, if I did, I don't remember it. My other grandmother, my mum's mum. I've got aunties that I never met when I was two.

There's, I would like to have done that. Perhaps. I'd have to have someone with me though.

I really would if I was going to meet people from that side of the family that I've never met. And I'd need to have my friend with me. Could do on my own.

Honestly, I'd need to have some support with that. You know, I might have brothers and sisters I don't even know about, or half-brothers and half-sisters. I don't really like that expression.

You know, not brother, just crawling around. You know, it's like half-brother, half-sister. It's technically my little brother, it's my half-brother.

And I don't know, I used to have, I don't know if it's, again, I think it's just some people like to be specific, or literal, or just maybe a bit careless with their words. I've done that enough myself. I remember one woman years ago, I called her my little brother, my half-brother, and I snapped back at her.

I did. I got the nunchucks out and I really went to tell her, I didn't, I said he's my brother, half-brother, he's my brother. He's my blood.

You know, only on one side. My dad's, you know, my dad's, he created the foetus, well no, he planted the foetus juice and my mom, my stepmom did the rest. My dad didn't really do anything.

It's not a hard job, is it? In fact, it's the opposite to hard to, you know, to make a pregnancy. I mean, it is for some people I'm talking about, just generally. The act itself, that's what I'm talking about.

I actually have made two women pregnant. Yeah, this week's been busy. Yeah, I could have had two, two little babies and one was 91.

What, 91? 91 years old. One was in 91 summer. So that would have been, he or she would have been born probably February 92, maybe March 92.

And then there was another one which would have been born in 94, probably end of the year 94. End of the year, probably, or maybe January 95. 94, 95.

Yeah, something like that. But yeah, neither of them actually happened. I'm not saying I'm lying.

I mean, there was no babies born for various reasons. Well, one main reason, well, two different reasons. One ectopic and the other one, a medical procedure.

So I'm thinking 93, 92, 2002, 2012, 2022. 28 year old baby or child rather, adult. I'd have a 28 year old son or daughter.

28, my goodness. 28 and I suppose another one of 26 or 25. Wow.

Two humans who would feel obliged to look after me in my old age. Isn't that great? But I don't have that. So if anyone's looking to have a baby and they're just, you know, fussy, I am available one afternoon a week.

I think if I was going to... I don't know if it's... I don't know what age babies can stop being born at. Well, they're all born at the same kind of age, aren't they? But yeah, I wonder. Maybe I'll have a baby.

It'd be interesting to go through like a process of getting married and having a baby and living with someone and sleeping in the same bed as someone and maybe learning to drive, going on holidays abroad, having lots of birthday parties and celebrating Christmas. Oh, I'm feeling ill. Sounds like a lot of hassle.

Christmas thing I'm quite up for until I think, yeah, what about the expense? It's going to be expensive. I'm feeling like a proper grinch towards my step-mum's birthday, because it's her birthday this week. And I can't buy her anything.

I normally buy her flowers online and get them sent to her. And I said to her, I can't buy you anything. I thought I was going to be able to get her a card, but I don't think I can even afford that.

And she said, no, I don't want anything. Just phone me. I said, I'd rather send you something.

Do I have to phone you? I don't want to phone. She said, yeah, phone me. I said, but I've already phoned you now.

I'm talking to you now. I've already spoken. What else is there to say? Because I phoned her because it was a anniversary, wedding anniversary.

28 years of being married. So wedding anniversary was, I don't know whatever day it was. I phoned her on I think Saturday or Friday.

No, Saturday, I think. And I only saw it because of WhatsApp, because we've got like a private family group on WhatsApp. And I go on there occasionally and saw that everyone was wishing them a happy anniversary.

Apparently only my little brother sent a card. Everyone else forgot. This is, are we supposed to remember anniversaries? I mean, I wasn't, I wasn't interested at the wedding.

I remember the wedding, it was weird because I was living in London. And of course, I wanted to be there. It was my dad's wedding.

And it was good because I didn't get to be at his first two. So I thought, oh, I'll have a look and see what this is like. And his wife, new wife, amazing woman.

Really, really great person. You know, I said it before to her, but I mean it. If I could have chosen anyone for him, I would have chosen her.

Of course, I can't, I'm not in a position to choose someone's wife. I mean, that's choosing someone's partner for life. That's like medieval kind of thinking, isn't it? Of course, I'm not, can't do that.

And if it isn't illegal, it should be. So, but I said to her, because you're just so kind and you've softened him. You don't take, you don't take it, you don't take the, well, you know, you don't put up with stuff you don't need to.

And she's, she's really nice, really kind person. So I've got a lot of respect for her. I mean, firstly, putting up with my dad for 28 years.

It was not 28 years because they were together for a few years before that, from what, 87? 88, 89, 90, 91. So they were together for like five years before they got married. Or was it 88? So at least four years before they got married.

I remember when they got engaged, my dad said, we were engaged. That's the whole story. I remember because I was on the toilet and I forgot to lock the door and he just walked in and said, I'm engaged.

I said, that's nice, but can you get out now? Do you have to have a shower right now? I'm on the toilet. And he said, when he said he was engaged, he said, yeah, but it's going to be a long engagement. At least 10 years, he laughed.

It wasn't even a year. Seriously. I think he got engaged in 90.

Yeah, I think he told me it was 1990, he got engaged or 91. So it was, it wasn't engaged for long. And then, yeah, man, got married and had this marquee in his garden.

He's got a nice, nice garden, this big marquee. And the garden is still the same size as it was before, you know, 28 years ago. But it's kind of grown.

And it's, he's developed the garden, together they've developed the garden. So it's kind of split into two parts. Before there was just one part, you know, there wasn't really much going on.

It was grass. And I don't think he even had his, I think he's got about 50 sheds at the bottom of the garden. Hence why I've got one in the bedroom.

I just, it's a hereditary thing. You just have to be near a shed. I can't get to sleep.

I can't get to sleep unless I can look over at the shed. It's like, oh, been up till now, I've had to just have a picture of the shed on the wall. But now I can actually have a proper shed.

It's good. And so there's this big marquee, got married. I came up from London.

I was wearing a suit. I don't know where I got that from. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't remember. But it's such a long time ago. And I met up with a girl that I really liked, who I met two years earlier in 1990 in the summer.

And she was a friend of a friend and she was about, I think she was only about 16 or 17 when I met her. And I was about 19. And she's just absolutely gorgeous.

I really liked her and we've gone really well. And she even came to my flat, this studio apartment, near the end of the summer, 1991. She came and visited and then in 91, although I'd moved to London, I still used to come back every now and then and I'd give her a knock to see if she was okay.

And I kind of declared my feelings for her because I really had these quite strong feelings. Because even though she was older and I was older, I still just had this, I just thought she was lovely. I just really liked her a lot.

And she, basically what she did, and I haven't got it anymore because I destroyed all my, all my blog, not my blogs, my, what's it when you do a written one? My diaries, if you want to call them diaries. And I had a lot of them, you know, these big, basically it was a pad, 200 page pad, usually, sometimes 150 pages, sometimes 100 pages, but the first one I did was 200 pages. And I just write down my feelings and my thoughts, probably a little bit like this, it's kind of, this is kind of what I was doing.

But instead of talking, I was just writing it. And in fact, it's probably exactly the same. The difference is, back then, I, the difference is I was writing stuff that I would not say out loud.

So I wouldn't tell you some of the stuff that I was writing, you know, because sometimes it would be hostile a bit, kind of like writing a letter that you never get to send, that kind of situation. Also, there were jokes, and it was a bit of everything. But I definitely, if I had those books now, those journals, I said journals, the span between 1990, April, and the last one I was writing in was probably 2011.

So 21 years. And one Sunday afternoon, I destroy them all. And I was, I traveled everywhere with them, even when I went to Ireland.

When I went to Ireland, I actually took them all with me. Admittedly, I didn't have as many, because I was 94. But I still had quite a stack full of them.

And I took them everywhere. Every time I moved, I took them with me. And I do wish I still had them, because I'd like to, I'd like to get in touch, I'd just like to read what I was saying, how I was feeling back then.

And yeah, it's a little bit of a shame. Because even before I destroyed them all, I never looked at them. I didn't really have much interest in looking at back stuff back then.

Back, back, back, back, back, back, back, back then. But now it'd be quite good, even for nothing else, I could say, wow, I forgot about that. I'll talk about that.

I'd have 20 year period of things that happened that I could talk about, that I'd probably forgotten about. And then I could expand, I could keep it going for the next 10 years. But they're gone, they're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

I've got no idea what it is that I must have done something during that time. I do remember though, because I moved back from London, and I moved into my dad's house in 1990. I think it was March, pretty sure, I'm pretty sure it was March or April.

And I got offered a job back doing the canvassing, the double glazing, for my friend. I wonder if it's just a rose. You'd better not be scratching at the door.

He was coming in to go to the toilet, how lovely. I don't know where he was. I don't know what he was doing either.

Earlier on, he got so, so restless. Yeah, and I think it was the heat that got him feeling like that. And he almost didn't know what he was going to do, what he wanted to do.

He wanted to go out, did he want to stay in, did he want to have a drink, did he want to go to sleep? Me, me, me, me, just really. But it's nothing I can do, it's his fault for wearing a fur coat. Inappropriate attire.

So what else? In fact, what I'm probably going to do when I finish this recording, I'm going to put him in his cage. You can have a nice sleep. Yeah, yeah, that'll do.

Be nice and cool in there for him as well. But I remember, so I come back from, I was working in this factory, and in about £98 a week, and I get offered a job that's going to pay me £150 a week, for about four hours a day. So I move back, and I get another job during the night time.

So everything's going really well. And then I decide, while I'm laying in a bath, I decide, I want to become a comedian. Because I've been watching and collecting comedy albums and videos and stuff, and I've really started collecting properly then.

And I realised I'm in the wrong place, I should have stayed in London. So my goal is to save up money and move the next year. Now, saving money didn't happen.

But I did move the next year, definitely January 1991, moved to London. I actually had gigs already booked, and I had tryout spots already booked before I even got there. So I bought this paper called The Stage.

And yeah, it had all these auditions and talent contests and stuff. That was quite cool. Yeah, but it didn't save any money.

And I managed to get about 500 pounds, I think, before I moved. And that was from selling my belongings and just being really careful for a couple of months before Christmas. And yeah, I don't know how I did it, actually.

But I managed to, well, clearly, because 52 years later, here I am. But on reflection, on reflection, if I'd have kept the job I had, because I gave the job up long before, I gave the job up in September, I think. It was a good job.

It was quite well paid for the town, you know, for the time in the town, enough to rent a flat. If I'd have put myself on the council list, I'd have got a flat quite quick, because of my age and how long I'd been pretty much living in room to room and stuff. And then I could have just traveled up to London to do gigs.

I could have done it all from where I was living. I could have just gone up there. Yeah, it would have been harder, like with the traveling.

But my lifestyle would have been a lot better. I wouldn't have been stuck in some bar where I was living, just earning 115 pound a week. But then I'd have missed out on all the, all the solid gold memories.

Well, yeah, I'm glad I moved to London in some ways. I spent 10 years, 11 years there. So kind of, yeah, it was a good, a good thing to have done.

But I'd like to live in Torquay. Or I just saw a picture there last night, that made me want to move to Scotland. It's a lovely, lovely front there.

And there's a picture of a couple of lovely hills. And as I thought, yeah, it looks quite nice. Really like to get a hold of them, just like to sort of like to travel up there.

But it's a long way. It's quite a long way from here. But Torquay is somewhere I'd quite like to go.

I've been there before, once. It's beautiful. There's something about the place that's really liked.

Can't really explain it. I need to go back on holiday, just to see if it's the same feeling. I just felt really relaxed when I was there.

So I'm going to, yeah, that needs to be what I need to do. Maybe next year, try and find a way to go away for the weekend, or maybe midweek. It doesn't have to be the weekend.

Maybe go away for a couple of days midweek, once the weather starts to get a bit better. So maybe like March, April time. Go to Torquay and just, yeah, see whether or not I still feel the same way.

Then maybe I'll retire there when I'm 92, which is about five years away. Wow. Wow.

I don't even know what the date is today. What is it? It's the 10th. The 10th.

So it's 16 days time. I turn 50. Turn 50.

Yes, I do. Turn 50. Yeah.

Wow. Anyway, I think that's enough for me for now. So thank you very much for listening.

And have a good week. It's Monday morning now. Early, but you know, when you listen to this, it's probably going to be a Monday, wherever you are.

Monday, the 10th of August, 2020. Unless, of course, you're listening to this on a different day, which is very possible. So thank you for listening.

Have a great week. Remember, every day this week, remember to be kind to yourself. Do something nice for yourself.

Because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love. Bye.