#464 Let me bore you to sleep - “LIVE” - Jason Newland (1st August 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Do you like my t-shirt? It's falling apart. It's like me. So I thought I'd do a live recording which I haven't done for quite a while.

So I suppose I should invite friends really, shouldn't I? But if I share this to a group, I'll share it to Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Is that a group? I don't know. Let Me Bore You To Sleep.

Am I still there? Yeah. I wanted to share to a group. I know that's a page though, isn't it? Let Me Bore You To Sleep is a page.

No, it isn't. Share. I've posted to Let Me Bore You To Sleep page.

What other ones have I got? I've got too many pages. That's what it is. Too many pages.

I hope it's not shutting off whenever I... So there's two people watching. So hi. I hope you can hear me okay.

If the volume is not proper loud, you can listen to this on the podcast because I'm actually recording it separately. I'll give you a little look. That's my recording setup.

That's the microphone. That's the screen. So it will be available.

I've not invited anyone. Maybe I should invite people. Who should I invite? Kissy's watching.

Hi. I'm going to do a little wave. Hello.

And so if you've got any questions for me, I'm happy to answer. This is kind of what I'm looking to do on my birthday on the 26th of August. Kind of a live thing.

I've just got a message from someone saying... I can't read it out because it's on my phone and I'm using the phone to video. Saying that I look really tired and am I okay? I'm a little bit tired. And I haven't really been very well.

I'm all right, you know, but generally a little bit. I've been a little bit run down, I think the last couple of weeks. But I'm okay.

I'm all right. And hopefully my plan is to do... I want August to be my top month so far. Oh, really? Okay.

So the video just cut out while I was doing this. That's why it's good that I've got the podcast. So if anyone's there, if you'd like to say hi.

Someone called Lilife Azriel Anders is watching. So hello. I should be able to sort of... Wait, Monica's there.

Hi. Hi, Jason. And hi Lilife, how are you doing? Don't my chin look big? I look like I've got some kind of weird, massive chin.

And yeah, this is just, it's a little bit distracting. But hi, Monica. I thought it'd be nice just to sort of say hello.

You know what I mean? Do like a more personal thing. I used to do these every now and then. The live let me fall asleep.

But I haven't done one for absolutely ages. And Nadia says hi. Hey, hi, Nadia.

And it's good to see you all here. Lilife says fluffy ferret chin. Oi, oi.

Andre loves rubbing himself against my chin. Honestly, I think he thinks it's a ferret. Because it probably feels like one.

I actually had a friend of mine, she's engaged to be married. She is to this man. And I was talking about my beard and she said, Oh, I can't stand beards.

And I find them just too itchy. I said, Well, have a shave then. Nadia, I said, Well, hi, Brett.

I said, So being with a man with a beard is a turn off? And she said, Yeah. So I said, Can you put your fiance on? She said, No need one loudspeaker. I said, Ding.

Now you know how to get rid of her. Now you know how to end the relationship is not going well. Just grow a beard.

He found it funny. I'm gonna have a drink of coke. As you know, I don't normally drink this stuff.

So I'm recording audio and do the video. So at the moment, I'm not gonna bother. Hi, Rick.

I'm not gonna bother editing, editing, editing the video. With the audio like together, because I can't be bothered. Although I might do that in the future.

And what I'm going to do is leave the video on Facebook. Hopefully I'll be able to download it and then add it to YouTube. And then I'll just add the podcast to the podcast like normal.

This is boring. It's really weird. Seeing myself be boring is stranger than just being boring.

Does that make sense? Catherine Ball, Jane Ball is there. Hi. I'm going to click to wave to everyone.

Sorry. Wave and wave to just making the camera move. Hello, everybody.

So yeah, this is just as I said, if anyone's got any questions, I can make it a little bit easier for me because my face is distracting me a little bit. Really is. That's a lot about distracting.

Anyone got a question? Got a question? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone? Rachel told me earlier that she did not think that I looked like Elvis Presley, which was, I said look, because he did have a beard in one of his films. Now it's trying to reconnect again. So the internet went out.

So again, I don't know why it's doing that. Why? I'm not using the internet for anything else right now. It's LMBO.

M-B-O. Is that limbo? Yeah. So yeah, I did a... I've got an itchy eye.

Oh no, we're not supposed to touch our eyes, are we? I suppose I can't really give myself anything, can I? I don't touch anything else. What is your favorite food of yours and why? Oh, my favorite food. I've got a hair in my mouth.

That's weird. My favorite. Okay.

I'm going to talk about my favorite happy food. Okay. My happy food.

So it would be a sweet corn and pineapple pizza. Big, massive pizza. Not that I'm going to eat it all in one go, but I'll make it last all night.

And I don't always eat it all. But that's the thing. Nick says, love the beard.

Hi, Nick. Thank you. Good, just for you.

I'm glad you finally told me and shaved it off now. I've been waiting for months. Sweet corn and pineapple.

And the reason for this is because, as I said, I'm nearly 50. 50 in 26 days or 25 days. Did I say 60? 50.

50 in 25 days. My earliest, one of my earliest memories as a kind of adult was 16. Or 17.

It was the first election that I ever watched on telly. And ever since then, I've watched the elections. I stayed up all night and watched them.

Even if I was working. Sometimes I try and make the day off the next day, you know, but I'd watch them. Because that's the first time I got interested in politics.

By the way, this is my my arms. Skin coming off. And there was this kebab shop, pizza shop, kind of pizza kebab shop.

And I had a pool table downstairs that wasn't supposed to be going because I wasn't 18. But he still let me go down there anyway. And I was friends with the person who owned it.

Because I worked in a chip shop. And so we had something in common. And I used to go there after hours because it'd be open till I don't know 11 o'clock or something.

I finished work about 930 10. So I'd go around there and I started to the internet went off again. This is brilliant.

This is I started buying these big pizzas and they were massive. I'm talking huge bigger than the ones I get from Domino's now. Massive.

Honestly, it's really big. You need I needed to, to get it home, I needed to place it on top of a car. It's not true.

But I was trying to think of something funny to say it didn't work. It's big, really big. And then that became kind of my favorite.

So I know 16 17 is an adult, but I was living on my own. Independent, kind of, I suppose. And it was one of my first things that I kind of enjoyed doing.

Sort of as a working man, working person, working Jason. And basically, so sweetcorn pineapple, ever since then, every election, every election night, which is every four years, usually sometimes it's less dependent. Since 1987, I've had sweetcorn pineapple, large pizza.

And see, I could even went this boring kind of like, well, and the and I like to watch boxing as well. So I like to have a sweetcorn pineapple pizza when I'm watching boxing. It's probably the carbs, to be fair, gives me a lift.

It fills me up. I know it's not healthy. But you know, I don't, I can't afford to eat a pizza regularly.

You know, it's like 20 pound now. During the Coronavirus, or I don't normally mention the word do I in my recordings, but during the, the weirdness, I didn't, I haven't eaten anything. Oh, you should have seen it before I was about 40 stone.

Look at me now. I mean, I'm practically skin and bones. No, I used to, I didn't used to eat out a lot.

I didn't used to get takeouts a lot. But where I live, I can't get deliveries, hardly at all. Can't get McDonald's deliveries, or using any of the Uber, Just Eat, all those apps that you get.

I'm sure you could put different ones in different countries, but none of them will deliver anything of any kind of decency here. The only places that they can deliver from will be some pizza, pizza pan, some random, you know, made up kind of pizza name that you don't really, I want Domino's, or Pizza Hut, or, you know, I want something that I can, I just, I trust, I trust them because I've used them for so long. There used to be a pizza place across the road from me in Stratford.

Because in London, for those who never lived in London, or for those who never lived in the city, you know, but then again, I don't know what it's like in other countries. Apart from Belgium, I know that's very flat. Very flat.

It's the flattest place I've ever been. Belgium, so it's, I think it's a really good place. You've got places like Jamaica, Spain, hot countries that are really good for people with arthritis.

But I reckon people that are in wheelchairs, I imagine going to Belgium would be a really good thing, because you can get around a lot easier. No, no hills, no mountains. It's flat.

I'm not saying everyone in wheelchairs should all be put together. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that it would be ideal if you, or if you get out of breath or stuff, you know, because hills are no good for people that struggle with walking up hills.

See where I live, well, not where I live now, but where I used to live. Well, I still live here, but the town of where I live is two hills. One is pretty steep, and one is a bit more, bit more kind of gradual.

One's called East Hill, one's called North Hill. And yeah, it's steep. And I've been on a bus, I've been on buses lots of times, I don't have that.

Well, I suppose if I actually went through all the different memories of being on buses, I've probably got quite a few. And have I answered your question about the food yet? I did used to like a nice kebab. I did.

It's something, but that's like a drunk thing. So I don't drink alcohol anymore. But when I used to drink alcohol, I think a kebab is probably one of the bestest things in the world.

Hi, Vanessa. Love to see you. Hi.

Other food, I suppose if we go to like normal human food, like proper food. I like a roast dinner, if I'm not cooking it myself. Like a proper, I love Christmas dinner.

So Vanessa says, Good evening, sending my loves from Nova Scotia, Canada. Hi, Vanessa. Love to see you.

Hope everything's okay in Canada. This is going to sound like a really stupid question. And it's genuine, because I think if anyone listens to me regularly, you're aware that my geography knowledge is, I felt maybe going to have a doctorate in geography.

And Lilith said, Is that about the kebab? So you like a nice kebab as well? Yeah. So Vanessa, I'm in Canada. I've got a friend who moved to Canada.

And I was just wondering if you know him. He's Molly's here. Hi, Molly.

Hi, Molly. I'm trying to keep up with all the kebab. I do like, yeah.

I don't like kebabs. The thing is, I don't like, you know, people put mayonnaise on kebabs sometimes. It just doesn't, you know, don't look right.

Just don't like mayonnaise. When I lived in Ireland, I moved to Ireland in 1994. I think it was about September time.

And I moved there with Andre, the original Andre. Hi, Teresa. If Andre comes near me, I'll pick him up so you can see him.

Actually, I've just heard he's run to the front door and he's just done a massive poo. So I probably don't want to pick him up. So I think he probably will come over here though.

Because he likes to be, he pretends he doesn't want to be on camera, but he actually... Andre, do you want to come and say hello to your fans? Huh? Andre? Say hello to your fans. Do you? That's a no. He's not interested.

Sorry. In order to grab him, I have to move the camera. Mind you, I suppose I could move the camera, couldn't I? Do you like it, Em? Alison.

Hi, Alison. Give me two seconds. I'll move the camera around and I'll grab Andre.

I think he's had enough time for his bum to dry. That's grooming it. Andre? Andre? Oops, sorry.

Oh God, you're looking at my bum. Oh my goodness. I'm showing you Andre.

I just realised, I think the camera was focused on my big fat bums. Please, sorry about that. I'm just holding his legs together, so... Molly Rose is saying, woo woo.

Hello. I'm not sure what that was for. Give daddy kisses, look.

Oh, Molly says, hello fluffy sausage. Vanessa says, there's a cutie. Nadia says, yeah, go on, show us Andre.

Molly says, woo hoo. See? Alison says, he's watching. Oh, hello.

Ulysses, he heard your name. And kisses, give him kisses. Give him kisses.

Give him kisses. I'll tell you what was weird. The other night, it was early evening, it wasn't like late, it was early evening, and Andre was in the field where he likes to go.

I just found a bit of the field, look. I don't know if you can see that. It's on the floor now.

There was a little bit of corn or something. And again, it's cutting out, keeps cutting out on the video. And yeah, so he is freaking cute.

So he was there in the farm, walking down the road, you know, the pathway. And he, he stopped. I picked him up.

And he was like, get off me, get off me. Stranger danger, stranger. And I let him down.

And I could smell it, like he'd let off a stink. So I picked him up. I know he doesn't need to go to the toilet, so I'm gonna hold on to him.

And I picked him up and smelled him. And I could smell it, but only a little bit. I could smell it in the air.

So I think there was other ferrets around in the field. Or pole cats or something out there. And he was going up.

I can't believe how good an impression I do of ferrets. It's weird. But he's, he's been pretty good lately.

Molly says, got to go. I'll watch the rest later. Nice to see you, Jason.

Hi, Molly. Bye, Molly. Take care.

Oh, so yeah, my friend, Alex, he moved to Canada quite a while back. So I was wondering if you know him. I'd like to go to Canada.

I like the idea of going somewhere where no one knows me. It was, you know, somewhere where people aren't just stuck me all wanting to hug me. I'm joking.

Hi, Debbie. Why are you going, Molly? This is your daytime, isn't it? I'm sure. Yeah, maybe there's probably other things to do, isn't there? I'm sorry.

I like the idea. A little bit worried about the bears. I probably look a little bit like a bear.

But I've had dreams. I've had dreams where I've been in Canada. And it's been frozen.

You know, hi, Debbie. It's frozen. Like the, I mean, not the whole country isn't just frozen, you can get in.

But it's snowy. And it's, it's I guess the path. Why don't you stay here with me? 727 here.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

He's so bendy. I still love this. Look at this.

What he does. I try not to play. But if you grab him like that, look, the way he grabs it.

You can't help it. It's just automatic response. Okay, say goodbye then.

Say goodbye. Bye bye. They're the people that love you, Andre.

They love you. Yes, they do. I love you.

Can you see yourself? Look, do you want to get down? Do you want to get down? Say hello to David. Say hello to David. Hello, David.

Say hello. Hello, David. He wants to get down.

All right. I love the way when he gets down, he shakes himself off. Like he's just got out of the water or something, you know, like a dog.

Lilith's going as well. Bye, baby. Oh, to him.

So it's 727 in America. And bye bye, Vanessa. No one wants to stay now.

They're all going now. Andre's gone. The star of the show's gone.

You don't want to stay now. Molly's in Australia. So it's going to be, I suppose, morning time, isn't it? Afternoon, early afternoon.

Canada, isn't it roughly the same time as America? Although America's got different time zones, doesn't it? So, you know, I think America, the earliest time zone, I think is six hours after us. I think we're before, I think. I think.

Vanessa says, no, no, I'm gaming. My team needs me. Okay, Vanessa, nice to see you.

Bye. She's saying bye to, Lilith is saying bye to Andre. So I was just saying, yeah, pizza.

I don't know. I'll tell you what's weird. Normally, there's a little, like, tick, you know, a clock that's going, you know, one that's describing the clock.

It's got numbers. Vanessa says 8.30 here and it's 12.30 a.m. there. Yeah, I know it's 12.30 here.

I just, it's 12.31 actually. Oh, bye. Oh, Lilith.

Lilith, don't you talk to Vanessa? She's my friend. What are you doing? You know what? I went through a little phase, a little phrase, phase or whatever you want to call it. Probably about a year and a half, maybe two years ago.

Yes, we're about two years ago now. And I was doing this Let Me Boy To Sleep Night on Facebook. And the video cut out again.

Are you seeing the video cut out? Can anyone tell me? Is it just my side? Is it still streaming? And a few people actually kind of made friends on here. That's nice, isn't it? And Lilith says kebabs, Ireland, Christmas. Are you writing it down? You're writing down the stuff that I'm talking about? I don't remember.

You know, lately, I've been trying to... Nadia says it's still streaming. Brilliant. Thank you.

Oh, it's a quick freeze. Okay. And that's, that's not the only reason.

That's part of the reason why I'm recording it as well. So that it's still kept, you know, because this is just such an important recording. You know what I mean? What was I talking about? Oh, yeah.

You know, I started naming and labelling or having a title for some of the Let Me Boy To Sleep recordings. I did one yesterday. I couldn't remember what I talked about.

It's like an hour and 17 minutes or something. And I couldn't remember one single thing that I munched on about. And because I did it early hours of the morning, I've just woken up.

I'll leave it a little secret. When I make recordings like that, I am pretty much still asleep. And I've got less of a filter.

You might think that I don't have much of a filter anyway. But people are, so they are, you know, Lilith says people can be offended quite easily. I know.

The problem is, it's kind of, I come from two directions. Two directions. The first direction is, I really, I don't want to offend anyone.

I'm not in it for that. I'm really not, I'm not alive for that. I'm trying to help people.

I'm trying to, I know it sounds a little bit, and Maddy says, I never remember what you talk about anyway, because you're always like, just as well. Your sarcasm, being the nice Jason. Yeah, it's sarcasm.

It is just, it's, I am sarcastic. But I try, to be fair, normally, I do sometimes, I don't aim at individual people. I might aim at a group of people sometimes, but most of it's aimed at me.

If you listen to the recorders, most of my stuff is aimed at me. My, you know, jokes and silliness. I'm not really, it takes me three or four podcasts, because I can't stop laughing, says Lilith.

Thank you. That's from, that's for Nadia. I told you before, Nadia is my friend.

And I, I didn't know how these podcasts were going to come together. I didn't. If you listen to my very first Let Me Go To Sleep, it is so serious.

It's me saying, yeah, you can relax and calm down. It was basically a hypnosis session. That's what it was going to be.

Lilith says, sorry, I was joking. I don't look like I've got any teeth, do I? I do wonder, if I lose my teeth, because it's possible, isn't it? Will it affect how I talk? You're British, not rude. It's called a sense of humor.

It is Nadia. It is. Is it Nadia or Nadia? I don't care.

I'm just, just, it's all true. It's just being me. Whatever me is, you know.

But when I wake up, it's quite weird, because I can be in a horrible mood. But when I wake up, firstly, when I wake up, I'm pretty quick. I'm slow, but I'm quick at the same time.

I can be quite, I don't know what the right word is. But if you listen to the ones I do, when I've just woken up, compared to the ones I do, like this one, I've been awake all day, pretty much, apart from when I've been asleep. It's a little bit different.

Nads. Okay, I'll call you Nads. I've never called anyone Nads before.

I got punched in the Nads once. But Liv Lillis says, and it froze, people got to grow a thick, thick skin. I swear.

I love apathetic, Jason. Apathetic. Am I apathetic? Or just pathetic? I think what's happened, what's happened is, first of all, I've been honest.

I think down the line, for those that listen to my recordings over, I mean, let's face it, what's it? It will be what, two and a half years now, I've been doing these, let me bore you to sleep recordings. We've been making podcasts for 15 years. And I suppose I let my hair down a little bit.

And that's the right expression. Push it up. And I just say and a lot, don't I? Can't help it.

I don't like, I don't like sentences ending. Just like they keep going on and on and on. And that's a hypnosis thing.

But I seem to do it during... Nadia says, is Nadia or Nadia? Thank you for that. That was really helpful. Oh, dear.

Hi, Tammy. Nice to bring you, bring you? It says bring them on camera. So it's nice to say hello.

And when I come on to Facebook, I do like a live broadcast. A lot of people come on, you know, they like, watch and then they disappear because they don't know who I am or what I'm doing. Who is this bloke? And then I think, well, surely you must be on my friends list.

Hi, Tammy. I've actually had people in the past say, who are you? Why are you on my friends list? I said, that's not something you need to worry about any longer. Bye bye.

Hi, Tammy. Hi, Robert Riley. Nice to meet both of you, to see both of you.

The thing is, I don't know how many people from Facebook actually listen to my podcast. That's the thing. I don't know.

I know some that do because you've made yourself known to me, in a sense of like contacting me. And I don't know who that Lilith man is. I don't know who he is.

Some people, you know, but there's other people sometimes they'll send a message and say, I want to thank you because I've been listening to you for the last year, or two years, and you helped me get through a relationship breakup. Or I had one from a young lady. She said, I can't believe I'm old enough to call someone who's about 18 or 19, 20, a young lady.

I feel ancient. I said to her, and she said, oh, thank you for helping me get through my degree. I've been listening to you during my three years of college or university.

And like, wow. I like that. I love messages like that.

I don't like messages where people tell me off. I don't get many, but occasionally. Not that I'm reactive.

I would turn red, but I'm already red. So I can't really turn a different color. Why was the Hulk green? He didn't have to be green, did he? I never understood that.

One thing about the Hulk is he always woke up with trousers on. Yeah. Guaranteed.

I'll talk about the original TV show for those to, well, either really, but if you go back, Nadds says, you actually get complaints. Yeah, I have. Lilith's put a picture of a green man.

Where'd you get all these pictures from? I can never find stuff. Robert. Hi, Robert.

Hello. Got all these pictures and these gifs or jifs or whatever they are. I only know a few.

I've found a few. Yeah, the Incredible Hulk. Bill Bixby was very, quite little.

He's probably taller than me, but he was slim. It's not Nadds. It's not.

Okay. I can't help it now. I've got to call you Nadds.

Please forgive me. I know not what I do. I have to call you Nadds.

And they're in emojis, says Lilith. You know what? I was on my iPad earlier and I pressed a button and loads of these emojis came up. And I don't know where they came from.

Genuinely, there's hundreds. Nadds says, weird though that people complain. Yeah, I mean, oh, it's frozen.

I suppose in some ways, I think, well, if they were paying for it, then they'd have a legitimate reason. But I suppose if someone's going to spend an hour listening to me, that's an hour of their time that's never going to get back, isn't it? But then why would they listen for an hour? And I don't know. Weird though that, yeah, Lilith says, part of your updates.

Okay. I don't know. I'm going to read out some of the complaints.

I don't get many, to be fair, but sometimes I get a little bit. And I read out the nice ones as well. But I kind of, Nadia says, I mean that they could listen to something else.

You're not forcing them, are you? No. I mean, not usually. Not since I had my gun confiscated.

I can't force anyone to listen anymore. Even Andre just does what he wants. He leaves the room usually when I do a hypnosis session.

I read it the other night as well. I'm not a game. No one ever listens to you anyway, dad.

What are you doing it for? Just talking to yourself. Like, no, Andre, I have people listening. Where? Where's the proof? I do.

It's weird thinking this while I'm actually on camera, because I'm used to doing this without seeing my own face. Lilith says, some people can never be pleased or satisfied. They are just grumpy and crotchety with nothing else to do.

Yeah, I think, you know what I think maybe sometimes with the internet is we can be more honest with the internet than perhaps we can be in real life with people. So if you're in a room, let's say if you're in a restaurant with friends from work, let's say, I don't know, and you've got like six people there and you're just eating and people are talking. If that was happening in a environment like a chat room, or if that was happening online, there might be a lot more said than what's actually said.

So someone might say, oh, you're just boring. Can you just shut up? I don't want to hear about that anymore. But they don't, they just carry on eating their dinner.

So it's something about saying what's on your mind. Lilith says armchair activists. Yeah, I've probably done it.

I think we've all done it, haven't we? A little bit. I don't necessarily mean complaining about someone. But Mark complained about a bus driver, actually.

He was really rude to me and another customer. I've never done that before, but I did it. So I had to, because he's out of order.

I wasn't so bothered about me. But this lady in a wheelchair was just being given a third degree, being talked down to. I was like, oh, no, I'm not having that.

Linda says, hi, Jason. Hi, Linda. Nice to see you.

I can't remember what I was talking about. I don't know. What was I talking about? Anyone? Lilith, are you keeping track of what I'm talking about? Oh, you're crotchety, yeah, I am.

Sometimes when I was on YouTube, because I used to be, I wasn't, you know, I wasn't like a big player on YouTube. I was one of the, I don't know, I was a known hypnotist on YouTube, if that makes sense. Yeah.

Bus driver, lady in a bus. Bus, not, are you telling me what I'm talking about? Bus, I'm just, why are people calling bus driver, lady in a wheelchair, bus? What? It's like a word association game. Yeah, yeah, this, this woman on a bus being told, okay, okay, stop, stop.

I've got it. I've got it. I'm back.

I got on this bus. The week before, right, the same bus driver, there was a woman and she was having a go at this young girl. I say young, she's probably about, I don't know, teen, college age, like 17 or something.

Bus? Yeah, Nadia, I've got it. Bus. Winding me up.

I've never been so angry. Hi, Rachel. Everyone say hi to Rachel.

And I've done a big wave there. So I was on this bus. And the week before, she was arguing with this young girl.

And all the young, all of this, she was about 17, 18, 16, I don't know, college age. And this woman was being really rude to her. And she started to be rude back to the bus driver, which is what you'd expect from a teenage girl or teenage boy, they're not going to take that.

But the bus driver was being really rude to her, like, wow. Hi. And the bus driver actually started talking to me and bringing me into it, saying, what do you think? I said, just let her on.

Basically, she had a bus pass. And the ticket was, I think the ticket that she had was a little bit ruined. So she couldn't tell what it was or say.

And, or she had a phone and the phone didn't work. And so she had a bus pass on a phone, something like that. But the phone battery had gone.

And she wouldn't let her on without paying. So I said, well, I'll just pay. But the bus driver was going on and on and on and on and on.

She got me involved. And I said, we'll just let her on. Which is not what the bus driver thought I was going to say.

And then every single person that got on afterwards, she was slagging off this girl who was on the top floor, slagging her off to her friends. It was really weird. And it went on for about 20 minutes.

Seriously. This says, I thought someone was knocking on my door. No, it was David farting next to me in bed.

Oh my goodness. How can the fart sound like a knock on the door? I'm jealous. It sounds like a weird thing to be jealous of, doesn't it? Perhaps I shouldn't have said that out loud.

I don't know. I just, I mean, that's like a cracker, isn't it? A firecracker. Of course, I've never farted.

So I would not know. So this woman was really rude to this young girl. So it wasn't massively... Nowadays, they're so romantic, Lilith.

And... You're throwing me off. Stop it. Yeah.

So... So, so, so, so, so. I wasn't particularly impressed with this woman because she was rude to this young girl. And then she was being horrible to her all the time.

And, you know, so I was downstairs listening to her. What she was saying was well out of order. You shouldn't, you know, bus.

You winded me up. Nadia, you're going to wind up tonight. I can tell.

And so I left it. I didn't say nothing. And then the next week was another Friday.

I think I had an appointment in town or something. I got on, showed my bus pass and took it. And she grabbed the bus pass off me.

And she said, let me have a look at that. It's no reason for her to do that, you know. But she did it, which I was annoyed about.

And she was holding it. She said, PMSL. And she got PMS.

PMSL, that's another letter to PMS. And I, as I was on the bus, she took my bus pass away. She looked at the picture, she said, that don't look like you.

I said, it is me. So it's not, it's a card, isn't it? It's a bus pass. It's not a human being.

Didn't say that. I wish I had, but I thought it was quite funny. And she said, I said, well, it is a picture of me.

She said, that don't look like you. And she said, what's your name then? Now I don't think I have to read out my name out loud on a bus in front of all these other people. Being a celebrity, I like to just be a bit anonymous when I'm in public.

But her attitude was really wrong. And she was saying, oh, you look so old now. Just kind of stuff.

I was like, you know, she was just really rude. Yeah, and I should have said that. And that was annoying.

I kind of made a joke of it because I thought, no, I'm not going to get caught up in an argument. I'm just going to get off, go and sit down. And then she started, this woman in a wheelchair was being pushed by a young lad of probably, okay, like 17, 18.

And she showed a bus pass. And she said, that's got, that's got him on there as well. He's my second, because you can get bus passes where you can get someone that goes with you assisted.

This is who you're supposed to look like. Elvis, I told you, when he was in, was it the Western he was in? Oh, you mean? Oh, yeah. I just said you've been out in public once.

This is, this is back in the day, you know, back when there was a public. And so this woman was in this wheelchair being pushed by her grandson. She said, that's my grandson.

Is it? Can you prove it? She said to her. And I thought, you know what? She's talking, she said other stuff, and it was just so disrespectful. And I thought, if that had been my nan, and I'd have been pushing my nan in the pushchair onto the bus, although my nan would never allow herself to be pushed around in a pushchair.

Not pushchair, as a parameter, wheelchair, sorry. And she had a thing about it. She just didn't like it.

Didn't like to be, they kind of, I think some of my family forced her into it sometimes. But she really didn't. She had a real, real, didn't like it.

Anyway. So I thought, and then again, she was being rude to the other customers that were getting on. And I looked at the face of the old lady that was in the wheelchair, and I thought, no, I don't like this.

So I made a complaint. Never, I don't think I ever complained about anyone ever. But I had to just, I didn't know her, but I basically just went to the website and posted this is the ticket number.

This is because it gave the time, the bus, the driver, everything, all the information because I kept the ticket. And yeah, I just, I don't know what it is around here. Most of the bus drivers seem to be really, really grumpy.

Now my friend crossed the road the other day. He chucked a cup of coffee into the bus driver's face and said, have you got the time? And the bus driver wouldn't even tell him. It's weird.

I just don't get it. So I just normally do that when I'm doing a, when I normally do a podcast, I usually do a little dance, but you can't see it obviously. So it's a bit weird.

No one's sending messages. Send me some messages. We all hate me now.

Oh, he doesn't like bus drivers. Nah, I've got no issue with bus drivers. I like people that do that.

They are grumpy in Buffalo too, says Linda. Yeah. Do you reckon it's a course they go on to be grumpy? I mean, I think that's a doctor's surgeries as well.

Doctor's receptionists in doctor's surgeries. I think they're trained to be grumpy and unhelpful. I don't know.

It seems every doctor's surgery I've been to, it seems to almost be like they dislike me before I even get in there. I don't get it. I don't understand.

That's like here in South Carolina. South Carolina, Carolina. Linda says, what do you want for your birthday, Jason? I've got one word.

Everything. Everything. I don't know.

What can you give a man that already has everything? Good question. Linda says it's part of the training manual. I think so.

I don't know. It's weird because I'm leaving these big gaps without talking, which I don't normally do when I do the podcast. And then I talk again.

And Rachel says, I will put an order in for everything. I think if you go onto Amazon, just click in everything. I don't know.

I've kind of got everything. Well, there's always stuff I need. Most of the time, when I buy stuff, I don't buy it for my own fun, if that makes sense.

See, I've got my iPad. I didn't buy that for my pleasure. I use it solely for all the work I do on the podcasts.

And chocolate bars. I can, yeah, chocolate bars. Wow.

I had some chocolate earlier. I'm getting a little bit concerned about my waistline, just a little bit, because I really don't feel comfortable walking out in the sunshine with a t-shirt on. I don't wear stuff that's tight anyway.

That's a no-no for people that are big. Well, some people do and it's up to them. But I don't.

I wear loose clothes. I'm like XXL or something, but none of my stuff is tight on me. It's very loose.

Most of it. I don't like being constricted because I look like a glow worm or something when I've got a tight t-shirt on. Linda getting plenty of Coca-Cola, says Nadia.

Stop talking about me, I'm here. Rachel says, my fridge freezer just died, so I had to buy another one. I've been quite lucky, actually, because when I moved in here, I bought a brand new fridge, brand new washer.

Well, there was nothing in the kitchen. There was stuff in the kitchen, but the floor, obviously, and the ceiling, and cupboards, and a sink. You know, basically, there was no white goods, I think they called them.

So I bought a washing machine when I first moved in, and it's still running fine. So, you know, that's good. I've got, I bought a fridge, which is still running fine.

My dad gave me a freezer, which goes underneath the counter. That's fine, but I don't use that for too much. And I bought myself one of those freezers that you can, it's got a lid.

I suppose all freezers have got lids in them. But it opens from the top. I don't know what you call those ones.

It's not a big one, but it's big enough for what I need. And everything's working, you know, nothing's run out yet. I think the thing that I've missed the most, the thing that would be the biggest thing to lose would be the washing machine, because it's expensive to replace.

That washing machine cost me £350, five years ago. And it was low energy one. So I tried to get a decent like green version.

It's white, but you know, I mean, green. I wasn't bothered about the cost of it so much as if it's using less energy chest, Rachel, how come I forgot the word chest, chest freezer, that's it. But it's like a half a chest freezer.

It's not. It's not like a like a big one. You know, like the old ones where you could fit a whole body in.

This is just, you know, you'd have to cut someone up. Forget that. A laptop says Lilith.

Well, everything. My laptop died. I had to dissect it because you can't shut laptops away.

You have to have to take bits off and I recycled the whole thing. So I took all the plastic off, got rid of all the just everything. So, you know, did that.

I knew the laptop was breaking, because it kept shutting down, kept shutting down. I had problems with it. That's why I got the iPad.

Oh, itchy balls. And I just realized I was on camera. I there's one thing saying I've got itchy balls and scratching them when I'm doing a podcast because you might think I'm just joking, but I usually am.

Nadia says in the freezer in case you forgot what you were talking about. But that's the point of doing these boring things because then I do lose track of what I'm talking about. And then I go off somewhere completely random or weird or some.

But it's genuinely that's how I am. I think you can't do that in a conversation with people. That's why I prefer to just talk to myself, I think, in some ways, because then I can just let it flow.

You know what I mean? Rather than having to aim. It's why urinating in the bath. There's no aiming involved.

No, I don't. I do it in the sink like everyone else. I don't know.

It's weird. What was I talking about? Freezer. Yeah, you do.

I don't need. Yeah, I've got the iPad because I knew. Nadia says, just pretend we're not here.

I knew I was trying to figure out what the word was. I'm just scratching your nads. Lilith is watching so Lilith must have left.

Night Jason says Nick need to sleep. Bye Nick. And I'll wave to what's her name.

And so I got the iPad because it's basically a special offer. And it was a paid monthly thing. So it's 30 I think it's something like 34 pound a month, the next two years or something like that.

So I got that from the place that I had my phone because I changed my phone over to a new one because the other one was just scratched and old. I'd had it for about three years, I think. So I changed the phone I wasn't going to.

And then I thought, you know, I do use the phone quite a lot. Especially for sort of messages and checking stuff. It's plus, you know, making videos because I was going to be making some videos.

I used to use a phone all the time for recording. And then I started using the tablet because I bought a tablet last year. Still paying for actually, but it's I bought that particular tablet because it's good for making images.

It's good for other things. Then I found that it's good for audio, it's good for recording. And so now I can't show you the phone because I'm using the phone.

That doesn't make sense. I'm using... I don't know how I would do it. I'm using the phone to make the video.

And so I can show it to you. But yeah, that's why I got the iPad. Because I knew the laptop was going to die soon.

And I thought, I'll get it. I'll get that. It's the top notch one.

It's the top one that came out and I pay it monthly. And it's got a one gig one terabyte storage. It connects to the phone so I can make a video upload it and put it onto there.

Yes, it's quite good for that. The stuff I can't do on the iPad that I can only do on the Android tablet, and vice versa. And stuff I can only do on the phone I can't do on the iPad for some reason.

So I use all three. So I do the audio on the tablet. I do the editing on the iPad.

At the moment I'm making a video on the camera on the phone. When I'm making the podcasts, especially these ones, I'll be using the phone to look through messages and comments people have read to me, or looking through, you know, different things to sort of read out. If I'm reading the books, so let's say for the Jason's bedtime story time, I use the iPad because it gives me away.

It's a bigger screen with my eyesight. I need a bigger screen. Can't read off a tiny little screen there.

And I'm using the Android tablet to record. So this all makes sense. Rachel says, Are you going to do a shed tour? And where is the start of the show? Rachel, you missed everything.

I was dancing around in a thong earlier. You missed it. And Andre was on camera.

Probably about 10 minutes in to the video, I would say. Not 100 cents short about that. So I was hugging and stuff.

Shed, it would mean moving my stuff around, but I can, I'll do that another time. Maybe I should make a little, because I've changed some stuff. I did all wrapped in cling film and stuff.

But it was like a sauna in there and proper, really, really stinking hot. I'd go in there and I'd just be sweating. So I had to take, Rachel says, Not you.

Not sure what that means. Anyway, yeah, so I've taken all the outer layer off. And I've got the inner soundproof.

I still need to get some more soundproofs. Basically, it's that stuff that's behind me. I wish I hadn't put it onto this wall and put it into the inside the shed, but it's too late.

And it's holes in the shed so a bit of air gets in. And I've managed to put a light in there. So I've got a light, like one of those desk lights that I bought a while back.

That's in there now so I can see what I'm doing, which is nice. And I can turn it on from outside, outside the building, outside in the bedroom. And it is quieter.

The only thing is, the pens want to do it. And even if it's quiet, I need Andre to be in his cage. And I don't like putting him in his cage.

If I don't put him in his cage, there's a 50-50 chance that he's going to come in the room and start scratching and come into the shed. Or if I close this door, there's probably a 70% chance that he's going to start scratching the door. He doesn't like doors being left open, being closed rather.

So I don't know. I know realistically, I could make, I could do probably four or five, six recordings a day, if I was just willing to put him in his cage for a few hours, and just do some recordings, go into the shed. And make, you know, a couple of relaxation sessions or one relaxation session, one sleep recording, deep sleep whisper.

Maybe these ones as well. But I don't want to make the let me point to sleep recordings in a shed. I know I don't normally do videos like this, but I like, in fact, I prefer to look around when I'm making a recording.

I like a little bit of space. But the sound quality is, for the deep sleep whisper, it needs less background sound. It needs a smaller space really.

And also definitely doesn't need an Andre in the background, scratching and banging away, banging away. You take that either way, can't you? And I'm not sure if it was a question I just answered there or whatever. Is anyone still there? I was like, I'm at Bordeaux Dial.

It's probably time for me to go. I've been on here for been on here for 70, 75 minutes or something. So I should go.

So yeah, it's maybe, I don't know what you think, maybe I should try and do a, I don't know, maybe a weekly show, not show, but a weekly podcast on here. Linda's here. Hi, Linda, Lilith, Rachel.

So there's like a weekly catch up, maybe. But I don't know what a good time would be because although most of the people, a large percentage of my listeners are from America, I also do have people in Australia, people that listen to me in the UK as well, China, Taiwan, I don't know if I made that bit up, but Germany, various parts of Europe, Canada, of course, South Africa, New Zealand, France, Australia. It sounds like that song, I don't know if I can read it all different.

Was that David Bowie and Nick Jagger? I'm going to start reading out lots of places. So yeah, I don't know, but it's finding a time that's suitable for everybody, unless I just say tough, I'm just going to do it when I'm wanting. That doesn't seem very fair.

I'll tell you what I'd like to do. What I'd like to do is, I think I'd like to do a live broadcast, but not on camera. I don't really like being on camera.

The only good thing about being on camera is doing a live recording is getting the feedback, the live. So seeing Billis, seeing Linda, Rachel, Molly, and it's going to go down, different people, Rachel, Nadia, Nick, Linda, Nadia, Linda, Rachel. There's been quite a few.

There's other people. I'm thinking about this, someone, Robert, Tammy. I don't know if Tammy's still there.

I like Tammy, it's one of my favourite names. I think it's because, wow, Vanessa as well. Okay.

Something's clicked up and says, what are you doing now? What are you doing now? What am I doing now? What do you? Oh, sorry. Rachel says, do a Zoom chat. What are you doing now? Nadia says.

I'm not sure how to answer that. What do you fancy? I suppose I could do a Zoom chat, but I want to do it public though. I tell you what would be my, something that I'd quite like to do is what I'd like to do, but I've looked into it.

I can't figure out how. I'd like to do a radio show, like a regular evening for about two hours or three hours, where I also played music, or maybe twice a week, like just at the weekend, Friday, Saturday night. And I was thinking, I've looked into it because I've got quite an eclectic.

Nadia says, went to the ladies room and got back. Heard you mentioned all their names, so thought you were leaving. I'm going to, yeah, I am in a second.

I think I am probably, but I was talking about, I've looked into doing a radio show. Obviously not getting paid, that'd be nice, wouldn't it? I reckon I'd have an audience, you know, the Jason show on radio Newlands. Yeah.

Hence what you're doing now. Okay, Nadia, how slow do you think I am? I understood. I understood.

I'd like to do a radio show where, but there'd probably be, there'd be more talking than music. That's kind of obvious, isn't it? I think really. But there would also be music and it'd be, I think I'd quite like to do a request show.

So people phone, you phoned in, I could speak to people as well, maybe, or just talk and you sent your requests fairly slow. Nadia says, Oh, what do you mean? And I've looked into it. The only problem, the only thing stopped me from doing it because I can do a live broadcast on a podcast on Spreaker, do live broadcast.

I can embed the player on my website. And you could just go there at 11 o'clock every Friday night and press play and I'll be live. But I can't play music because you have to have a license to do that.

And to do that, to get a license costs, I've looked into it and I can't figure it out. It costs money. And I still, I've really actually done research and I can't figure out how to do it.

I thought it'd be easy. I really thought that there'd be a service out there that you can, a service that you can just pay, you know, like a monthly thing, like 50 quid a month or 30 quid a month, where you can just, you know, a bit like with Spreaker, you could just plug in and you could do your radio show. And then they would have, you'd have access to, you know, a catalog of songs.

Like, you know, millions of songs you just choose when you want to do. Yeah. Spotify.

Yeah. You can't, Spotify, you're not allowed to, to play Spotify songs to a live audience. As far as I know, I'm pretty sure you can't, not legally allowed to play songs live, other people's songs and can't record them onto a podcast either.

And admittedly, I probably could get away with it for a while because who's going to know. But Lily says that sucks. How about do your own music? How can I do my own music? How? How? Oh, thank you.

I see. Well, thanks. I suppose.

Yeah, but that'd be, I wouldn't want to put someone through that. I mean, part of the fun of it was so that I can listen to the song as well. So let's say it's Men at Work.

Who can it be now? I've been listening to it and singing it and maybe talk over it, maybe, maybe not too much, but a little bit now and then. And maybe talk about the song and my memories of the song and, you know, just random stuff. So if anyone's got any ideas, if anyone knows anywhere that you can do that, or how to get out, and if anyone's got a music license, they can let me have.

Because I'm not going to be making any money from it. It's not going to be, it's just going to be, I suppose I could put adverts on, you know, like doing a commercial radio show. But even then, I think some licenses are really expensive.

You know, I think it's a little bit different for some of the commercial radio shows. They publicize, don't they, they publicize new recording artists. Rachel says songs out of copyright.

Didn't think about that. Actually, I might look into that. Yeah.

But as far as I'm aware, and this is just, this is off the top of my head, because I've researched copyright. And the copyright law came in, in something like 1932. It was something like that.

It was a long time ago. There was no copyright previous to that. For things like music, and, you know, there was, there was a, it was a time when there was no copyright.

And then I don't think there's going to be much prior to copyright. And copyright, I think, lasts for, something that lasts for 70 years or something. 50 years.

I don't know. I look into it. Yeah, I look into it a little bit more now, actually.

But I just love the idea if I could just log in to a radio show on the tablet, log in on the iPad, whatever. And just type in a song, talk live, type in a song. Okay, let's have a little bit of ABBA, shall we? Have a little bit of ABBA.

Or Tiffany. Well, you know, Tiffany has been more up to date. Who can it be now? Who is it? No.

What was her song? Who is it? Who can it be? I don't know. Rachel karaoke. That's the point, actually.

I could do karaoke. That's not fair. It's not fair on people's ears.

The list says Thompson twins. What? Ask them if they want to sing. Men at work.

Why are you just? Yeah, but I'm pretty sure men at work are copyrighted because they actually went to court over who owned the works, who owned the music, the lyrics. This is new, the guys who sing that song. Oh, okay.

Sorry. Who can it? Yeah, who can it be now is men at work. But I think Thompson twins.

I think both of those are right. I think who? I think I'm alone now. Doesn't seem to be anyone around.

That's what I was thinking. Who can it be now? I think I'm alone now. Who can it be now? I think I'm alone now.

Doesn't seem to be anyone around. I think I'm alone now. See what I mean? Sort of similar.

Who can it be now? That's my connection anyway. Also, here's another connection I've got, and you might not agree with this, but listen to... Okay, okay. Go to YouTube is my thing.

Debbie Gibson. No, that was Tiffany. That wasn't it.

I think I'm alone now. It's definitely Tiffany. Definitely Tiffany.

The only reason because I love Tiffany. I was the same age as her when she released that. I was probably 17.

She was about 15 or 16. I don't know. But yeah, I think I'm alone now.

Doesn't seem to be anyone around. Debbie, wasn't it? Play it to your heart. Tell me I'm the only one.

Is it really love? Oh, just a game. That was Debbie Gibson, wasn't it? Wow. I'm proud I didn't know that.

Oh, I don't know what I was going to say there. Anyway, I'm sorry Nadia. You didn't know the other one, so I'm not going to tell you words.

Tell it to my heart. Is that to power? Tell it to my heart. Yeah.

I'm bored. I'm bored by Toya. I'm not going to be playing music to get you bored.

No, if I do this recording, this radio show is not going to be boring. It's going to be born in 82. All these I remember because of my dad.

Oh, cool. You were born in 82. Lisa Stansfield, play it to.

I've been around the world and I, yeah, yeah. Oh, my, my, my baby. I don't know.

I don't know why. Oh, my baby, baby. Could my baby, could she love me? Now, if I did tell it to my heart, tell me I'm the only one.

Is it really love? Oh, just a game. Is it really Lisa Stansfield? Are you sure it wasn't Debbie Gibson? Like she says, I love Toya. Yeah, it's going back a while, isn't it? I mean, Nadia, you might not be wrong.

I just, I don't know why I think Debbie Gibson, and she was big as well, wasn't she? At the same time as Tiffany, but they were very different, like different kind of, I think. I'm not, to be fair, I'm not 100% sure. Taylor Dane, tell it to.

Yeah, I think that's, yeah, I think you're right. Taylor Dane. Tell it to my heart, tell me I'm the only one.

Yeah, Taylor Dane. Wow, that's a name I've forgotten. If I did this record, if I did like a weekly or a weekend show, it wouldn't be a boring show, it would be me like this.

This isn't boring, is it, me talking? Maybe it is, but with music. So it wouldn't be, I wouldn't be playing boring music. I'd be playing music that's nice, that I like and other people like.

So it'd be like a different thing to let me bore you to sleep. It would be, it would still be relaxing, you know. I think that's, it's, I think everything I do is going to be kind of relaxing.

It's quite a, kind of laid back. It's just the way I am, I suppose. Who's, who's angry? Someone's getting angry.

Someone's doing like a red angry face. You could play 80s music. Yeah, I do.

That is my, that's my era. The only thing is Jason's Motivational Podcast. I've got a motivational podcast.

Have you not seen it? Jason's Motivational, yeah. Don't know how motivating my latest, don't know how motivating my last one. I can't speak.

My latest motivation podcast was a bit strange, I think. Born in 1971, Nadia. You're one year younger than me.

I'm quite eclectic when it comes to music. Are you still on? Yeah, I'm still on. Hi, Vanessa.

And just about the, I think the picture keeps freezing on the video. But I just thought about a radio, I did a radio show, I was able to do it. I would probably predominantly choose 80s but, because I used to be a DJ in one of my previous jobs for four years, I was a DJ in a club, in a nightclub.

And I was there every Friday and Saturday night for four years. So I kind of, admittedly, that was quite a long time ago. You know, I stopped doing that in 2001.

So it's 19 years ago, I stopped doing that. Although I did go back a few times just to help out. But I know my way around music-ish, you know, I guess.

But I like music from all eras. I'm not the biggest fan of the 70s music, which is weird considering I grew up in the 70s, I was born in 1970. But I didn't really enjoy the 70s, if I'm honest.

It wasn't my favourite time. I didn't really get interested in music till the late 70s, probably around Greece, you know, when Greece came out, was it 77, 78? Big fan of Greece. And then, you know, I think really, I found my own tastes in music, which was in the early 80s, late 70s, but basically 80s, that's when I started to get interested in music.

But I used to listen to Buddy Holly. Obviously, he was 50s, wasn't he? Died in the 50s, was big in the 50s. But I was really into like the music that was around then, everything from Duran Duran.

Every single top 20 song I would know from Nick Caiman, Madonna, people that maybe one hit wonders to singers that are still around today. So yeah, I was really into that. My favourite song, my favourite artist was Shaken Stevens.

Yeah. But I like like the Nolan Sistens. I'm in the mood for dancing, feel like romancing.

And for me, that's one of the best disco songs ever. I would say favourite for me above ABBA. But ABBA, Dancing Queen is, I don't know about anywhere in the world, but I'd say any disco, pretty much.

You go to where there's people in their 40s, 30s, 20s, 50s, 60s, whatever, any age, put on ABBA, Dancing Queen, or Come On Eileen, Dixie's Midnight Runners. That's a good one to end a disco on, because everyone goes a bit wild, you know. And also Eileen has to clean herself off.

Then so there's Wake Me Up Before You Go, Kowam, big, big song. Those are the songs that you can have an empty dance floor and suddenly it gets full within seconds. Lilith Says, Bill Haley and the Comets.

Right. There's two songs I remember from my childhood, like my early, early childhood. Well, two that I remember, like really.

One was, unfortunately, oh God, I forget his name now. Gary Glitter. But he was big.

He was a huge star in the 70s, the early 70s. And his I Love You Love, you love me too. I love that song.

And I was very, very young. But it was one of the first songs I remember. I just remember hearing it on the radio, or maybe it was being played continuously, and I was in my car or something.

It's weird, but I just remember it. And another song when I was in the kids home, children's home, there is, I had this memory of Bill Haley and the Comets singing rock and roll, you know, one, two, three, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I had this memory, I thought, well, why was I hearing it in the 70s? Because that was in the 50s.

That was the 50s, wasn't it? Old Bill Haley. So I looked, and I found out that they re-released it in about 1975 or 1976, something like that. And I think it went to number one.

So re-released, that's why it was being played on the radio. Madness, of course, I used to have an idea for Madness. I had a I bought an album of Madness's greatest hits, and it was a tape recorder, you know, tape.

And I used to listen to it, which is what you're supposed to do, isn't it? I suppose it's not really an exciting story, is it? Yeah, I bought a sandwich and I ate it. I don't know what I mean, I used to listen to it over and over again. I'd lay down on my bed and I'd just listen to it.

It was so relaxing. Oh, you're an embarrassment. Must be love, love, love.

So I used to love listen to that. So Buddy Holly, that, and my other favourite was The Monkees, The Best of The Monkees. And I think Take The Last Train To Clarksville was probably my favourite.

But then Cheeky got in a scandal where it was called Scouser. It was another one of the songs that was like, she's a wonderful lady and she's mine, oh my. And there doesn't seem to be a way she would come into my life.

It's not easy playing songs with a girl in your dress. It's really weird lyrics. Why don't you cut my hair? Why don't you go out there? Why don't you do what I do when you see what I'm around? You imagine someone's listening to this podcast and suddenly, I don't know what happened, but an hour and a half in, he started singing.

I'm sure he did, but I just couldn't be bothered to turn it off. The Monkees. See, when I, I didn't get to watch daytime, like children's TV shows until I was about seven.

Saying that, I might have done when I was a lot younger, but during the Catholic and nun days, living with them, there was no morning children's TV. I think I was allowed to watch Emmerdale Farm in an afternoon after school and go to bed. So I remember when I was about seven and seeing the Monkees and they were again, TV shows from the sixties.

This was like 77. So it was like 10 years earlier. They'd broken up and everything.

They weren't a band anymore. I said, love it though. Love the show.

It's funny. The songs, the songs, I loved every song they did. I was a big fan of Elvis as well, but that was because of my brother.

Nadia says Only Fools and Horses. Is that your favorite song? Did you know that the bloke that wrote the show wrote the song and sung on the song as well? Did you know that? And his name has not in my mind at the moment. Sullivan, Neil, Keith, Bill, Richard Sullivan.

Anyway, surname was Sullivan. He wrote Only Fools and Horses. He also sung the song.

I love that show. And I was going to say, go to YouTube, click on cheers, put in Woody and just watch, just listen to Woody's voice. Right.

Listen to Woody's voice and then put in what it says, open two pages up, both of YouTube. So you got one with Woody talking, listen to his voice, the timbre of his voice, the sound of his voice. Okay.

The tone, the gentleness. And then open another YouTube page up and put in cheers theme tune and listen to that. I would swear it's him singing.

It's not, obviously, because he wasn't even in the show when the show started. It was a coach, wasn't it? Sounds like Woody singing. Making a day in the world, was it? Making a way in the world today, takes everything you've got.

Sounds like Woody. Sounds like Woody talking. Taking a break from all your worries, should help a lot.

Wouldn't you like it anyway? I'm doing it really quiet because I've got to make this. Normally I'd scream it out because that's how I sing. I'm a scream singer.

But yeah, Woody Harrelson. Weird, do you reckon he didn't? Why do they call him Woody? Because that's his actual name, isn't it? Woody Harrelson. It's time for someone else to talk.

I've had enough talk to know. So I didn't expect to be chatting quite as long as this, and I wouldn't have been if it wasn't live. So I won't do another live one for a while.

But I do intend to do a live one on my birthday, just to sort of... Well, I can't celebrate my birthday. Can't really meet up anywhere. I don't feel safe going anywhere public.

I don't really have many friends really anymore. Poor me. Family, I can't do a family get together.

My dad's in his 70s. It's too risky. I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to put him at risk by meeting up with him in case I've caught, you know, the lurgy and I pass it on to him.

So I'm not meeting up with anybody. And my dad was talking about coming down and going somewhere to a restaurant. I'm not going into a restaurant.

I'm not. I'm not sitting in a pub. I'm not going to a cafe, coffee house, nothing like that.

I'm not doing, I'm not going anywhere where people are sitting without masks. Yes, no, I can't do it. When I said friends, I mean, you know, humans.

I'm not humans. I'm not saying that you're not humans. I'm talking about Liv and Vanessa, thank you.

What I mean is like local. I've got one, I've got a good friend that lives downstairs where I see fairly regular. I've got my little Andre.

I've got a few friends on the phone that I can talk to. And what it is, is a lot of my friends, first of all, moved from London, all my friends were in London. And then I moved, lost, and they were all pretty much connected to the comedy industry.

People I worked with, you know, and eventually I just lost contact with pretty much everybody. Then I'm only human after all. And then I got involved with the Buddhist center and all my friends, 85 to 90% of my friends were Buddhist.

And then I moved away. So I couldn't really get there very often. And I've lost contact with most of them as well.

And I'm a bit reclusive now. So yeah, so I think my friends are kind of in other countries now. There are people in this country as well that listen to me and my friends also.

But it's, I don't know, it's strange, strange. It's not strange, but it's saying it's like, I'm unknown, but I'm known. Does that make sense? I said that I'm one of the most successful failures, in a sense of I've got no money, but I'm reaching, you know, well, I'm getting, you know, this month, 140,000 downloads during July so far.

It's the last day of the month, or it's the first day of the month, isn't it now? So I'm reaching quite a few thousand people daily. Sometimes, you know, I'll get sometimes four or five, 6,000 a day sometimes, sometimes three, four, depending, it depends. So it's, that works out about 1.8 million a year.

To someone who's out there, I'm a staple in your house. Make sure you don't get a splinter from me then. Actually, that would be a staple.

Well, I think the staple, I just think it's something you put into a, you know, in a pad to keep the pages together. I'm a staple. Yeah, maybe I'm a bit reclusive.

It's strange, because I feel that I don't know anyone, but in another sense, I'm reaching. You want to sit on me? Better not. I don't know what that means, but yeah, don't want to sit on a staple.

It's nice to know the people out there, like Vanessa, Lilith, everyone, you know, there's Rachel, all different people, Molly. There's a lot of people out there that are just really lovely. All right, Vanessa, we need to discuss this another time then.

Fight over me, fight over me. I've been thrown off now. Thank you, Rachel.

We all love you. Thank you. Cool.

Thank you. So yeah, it's just a little bit different. In some ways, I'm on my own, but in another way, I'm also reaching thousands of people every day.

Lilith, I was speechless. Yeah, maybe blush. You can't tell with my face, it's so red anyway.

You can't tell when I'm blushing. I turn green. But yeah, yeah, yeah.

Something to grab hold of, Vanessa. Anyway, anyway, I need to go now because it's going to take me absolutely speechless. No, no, I'm never speechless.

Always got something to say, which is why I've lost so many jobs. I never, I don't know if I've ever told you this, and this is a brilliant, well actually it doesn't always work for all situations, but I had a supervisor, I came home late from work, like I'd be gone to lunch and I came home late, came back to work late, about 20 minutes late. And he said, where you been? Newland.

And I said, see, it only works at certain times. But I said to him, oh Arthur, sorry I'm late. I was searching for the birthday present.

Now that only works if the person's birthday's coming up, or if you can do it at Christmas, I was searching for your Christmas present. But it was perfect because he started laughing, and he didn't know where to go with it because he secretly loved me. But he was quite an angry person, but we did get on really well, and he liked me.

But he also used to, because I used to be really rude to him, and he'd be rude to me, but I was just, I didn't care. And he didn't know what to think, but I did end up getting him the birthday card, I think. Because, here's another thing I used to do, this is cheeky.

Trish, hi Trish. Back when I was younger, I used to smoke roll-ups at work. And I often didn't have any money, I'd run out of tobacco.

So what I would do, this is really cheeky, I would get my packet of tobacco empty, right, I would hand a Rizla to whoever's near me, a friend, hand them the packet, hand them the packet of tobacco, do you want to roll up? And they'd say, oh thanks. He'd open it up and see that there wasn't enough there to make a roll-up. And he'd go, oh, I'm sorry, I can't believe I thought there was enough in there, I'm sorry about that.

And then he'd end up giving me a roll-up. There's only so many times you can do it with the same person. But I did it, I did that probably about 150 times, I'd say, when I was in my 20s.

Worked every time, just one of those things. Here's another thing, here's a little trick, I'm giving you my little tricks that you might not know about. If you need to get a letter from your doctor's surgery, okay, and you go in, you phone them up, say, yeah, you go in, and they say, well, he's not done it yet.

And they say, the doctor's here, but you're going to have to come back because the doctor hasn't done your letter yet. And it's an important letter, you need it. My friend had this, and he was getting all angry, so I keep coming in, and I phoned them up, that the letter's not done yet.

I said, just follow my lead, went in there, they said the same thing, letter's not done yet, the doctor's busy, he's in the building, he's busy, and his two receptionists are there, and there was no one else in the waiting room. I don't know what the doctor was busy doing. He could well have been busy, you know, I'm not going to say he wasn't, because doctors, we need doctors, so I love them.

And I said to my friend, just follow my lead, just do what I do. And I said, we'll just wait then. Oh no, I don't know how long it's going to be.

No, we'll wait. I know you don't want to wait, it could be hours. That's fine.

And I take my friend and we sit down in the chairs and wait for the doctor to do the letter. The two receptionists became so uncomfortable. A few times they'd come and say, I don't know how long it's going to be.

It's alright, I'll wait. It's fine. We weren't hostile, it was just being friendly.

It's fine, we'll wait. They wanted to talk, but they couldn't because we were there. I could hear them, they were getting more and more annoyed because we were there.

That was probably their time where they could have a bit of a rest. I thought it wasn't really fair on them, but my friend needed that letter. It's really important.

It was a medical letter that he needed. And so I said, just any one of the guys said, no, just stay. Just stay seated, you'll be fine.

You won't be here for long. And I could see they were getting, we were there for about 15, maybe 20 minutes. And in the end, they went in and spoke to the doctor, asked him to do the letter, and then came out with a letter.

And I learned that trick in the nineties, and it always works. It depends on the situation, obviously, but in that kind of situation, it will work because people don't like to be under pressure, even though it wasn't really pressure for them because they weren't the ones doing the letter. It was a doctor.

And this wasn't just some random, it wasn't an unimportant letter. This was something that he needed for medication. Really important letter that was just not being done.

And it was to do with mental health. It's very important. And I said, just trust me.

And it works. Just sit there. I'll sit.

See, people are going to start shouting and getting aggressive. They get nowhere other than maybe arrested, kicked out. And it's not failing the staff either, obviously, they're just doing their job.

Do everything really, really calmly and nicely. Just sit down. That's fine.

If you get a chance, if you can maneuver the chair, just stare at them. If you really want them to work and get it sorted, go over and talk to them, especially if you meet. Five minutes of me talking to them or at them, they'll get the letter done.

Getting ratchet. What's getting ratchet? Another thing, I learned this from my friend and he was real proper manipulator. Always got his own way.

So that's why I don't do this kind of stuff, but I did it. I do it in that situation if it's important and with the benefits. If it's a situation, quite often you get turned away.

I've noticed that. There's two things I got turned away for and I carried on anyway. I thought, no.

I realized years ago that some people don't know what they're doing. Yeah, maybe people will make a horrible scene to get their way. That's toddler behavior, isn't it? It's horrible.

It's not fair on the staff. I mean, just sitting there, it might make the staff feel uncomfortable, but it's not harmful. It's not doing anything bad.

It's just putting a little bit of pressure on them to actually do something, which is not necessarily a bad thing, I don't think. And it takes a bit of their power away, which is maybe a little bit humbling for them as well. I think in a scenario, like a doctor's surgery, most of the people coming in are unwell, obviously, and need, I think, should be treated with respect and kindness and gentleness.

Gentleness. And I don't see that happening all the time. And I think it should happen all the time.

And yeah, when I signed up, and when I phoned up to apply for my counseling course, the degree in counseling, I phoned up the university, and the lady on the phone said, no, you won't get on this course. I wouldn't bother. You wouldn't be allowed on it.

You know, you don't fit the criteria. That's what she said to me. So I just said, okay, bye.

And then I thought, no, I shouldn't let some complete stranger, who sounds like she's having a bit of a rubbish day, talk down to me, doesn't know me, doesn't know what I'm capable of doing. And I've been studying counseling for years before that anyway, also hypnosis for since, what, 98. And I started going to university in 2007.

So nine years of studying stuff like that. And I could easily have just walked away from it and thought, no, this professional person on the phone said no, but I didn't. And I wonder how many people she put off could have been in that, on that course.

And every single person, every single counselor, I would say, has saved numerous people's lives just by doing the job. Not in a hero way, just in a practical, realistic way, is all those counselors have really, not everybody comes in needing their life saved, obviously. But some people are really having someone to talk to, even if it's just for six sessions, can change their life.

And so this, this person on the phone nearly stopped me from, or put me off going any further, because she put a stop to it, she wouldn't even let me go any further at all. So what I did is, if I remember rightly, I actually went into the college myself, like physically, and spoke to some people there. And they said, Yeah, you can apply.

I said, Okay, I was told I couldn't. They said, Who told you that? And I didn't know who it was. It was just someone in the admin or admissions or something.

Anyway, I did apply and I did get on. And well, I did the degree, passed the degree, all that stuff. So everything kind of went to plan-ish.

Apart from the career part at the end of it, because my career came to an end after about two years, due to all the financial cuts from the government. The austerity stuff. Wow.

And, yeah, so sometimes there's people is you got to just not listen to them. This video has frozen so much. The podcast, 130 minutes, pretty much I've been talking.

So I need to come to an end because I shouldn't still be talking this long. I've got other podcasts to make, man. It's going to take me about two hours to edit.

Not the video, I'm just going to post it. I don't care. As it is, as is in it.

But anyway, I just want to say thank you to all of you. And it's been a pleasure having a little chat. And I'm looking to do this on the 26th of August.

I don't know what day it is. I'm not sure. I'd have to look it up.

So it's the first day and it's Saturday. So it's Saturday the 2nd, Sunday the 2nd, Monday the 3rd, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. I think it's a Wednesday.

And if it is a Wednesday, that's pretty groovy because I was born on a Wednesday. I wasn't as excited as I thought it would be when I said that out loud. But yeah, I was born on a Wednesday.

I don't know what time of the day. And I wasn't wearing a watch. But it's, it was definitely a Wednesday.

26th of August, 1970. It was a Wednesday. And I am a Virgo.

So I'm gonna go. Thank you everybody. All of you lovely people.

Rachel was born on Wednesday too. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Nadia says cheers.

Lilith says thank you. And so I want to say thank you and bye to everybody. And even to the cheeky one stuff.

I don't know why you laugh. So thank you. And I will speak to you another time.

So this, I'll continue doing these podcasts. I'll do another one tomorrow, but it'll just be normal, you know, audio. And whoever wants to get my beard first, just contact me.

I'll shave it off and send it to you in a post. Grab it. I just done a wee.

I tried to grab him but I couldn't. He just bent over, did his wee in the corner. I was like that trying to grab him before and he just shot off.

At least he does it on the paper, which is nice. Well, it's not nice, but you know what I mean. Andre said, thank you very much, everybody.

It's been lovely to speak at you. It's more to you though, isn't it, when this interaction. And I will speak to you again.

I will, as I said, tomorrow I'll do another recording, but it will just be, won't be video. Thank you for listening. And remember to be kind to yourself.

Because you deserve to be happy. Do something nice for yourself. You kind of have that by spending time with your cuddly beardy English man.

So bye to everyone. Bye. Bye.

Now I'm just going to press finish.