#461 Let Me Bore You To Sleep - Jason Newland (29th July 2020)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is... Let me bore you to sleep. Please only listen when you can.

Safely close your eyes. And... Oh, that's a train I can hear in the background. But it sounds like it's coming from into both ears, both my left and my right ear.

Or maybe it always does. It almost sounds like it's coming from the front of the building on the left. So I can hear it in my right ear and my left ear.

But maybe I always hear it in both ears and it's just coming from the left. That sound is like curving round into my right ear. I don't know.

I mean, it's 4.30 in the morning now actually. I woke up just after 4. Went to bed about, I don't know, 11 or something. And this is terrible.

Part of the reason I went to bed is because I couldn't be bothered to cook. If I was going to stay up, I had to cook some food. So I was hungry and I thought, yeah, I'll just pretend I'm not hungry and I'll go to sleep.

That worked. It's amazing what our minds believe, isn't it? That's why, that's why it makes sense to tell ourselves nice stuff, to say nice things to ourselves. Because the mind believes whatever we say to it, pretty much.

It comes from us, straight through, straight through to the, there's no, you know, nothing's stopping it, straight through. So when you say to yourself, oh, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling relaxed.

I'm feeling sleepy. I'm really feeling sleepy. I'm going to fall asleep.

You start to get in touch with that feeling of sleepiness. Because, I don't know, it's almost like your mind starts to want to prove this is true by you feeling the physical sensations that you would if you were feeling really tired. Isn't it amazing? Oh man, Andre was wide awake.

I'm going to go out of bed. It's not even light outside yet. I'm not going out.

All he wants is for me to go for a walk all the time. All the time. All the time.

All the time. All the time. All the time.

All the time. All the time. All the time.

All the time. So I order something with Sainsbury's and it's being delivered tomorrow. He says, the estimated cost of your order is £45.50. No.

No, all this is estimated. That's the price. Will you stop pretending to sneeze, Andre, please? That's enough.

I've had enough of that. No more. It might sound like all I do is moan at him, but I don't.

I think I do it because I'm trying to do a recording here. And he just makes as many weird sounds as he can. He doesn't do it the rest of the time.

He's quite as a ferret the rest of the time. A sleeping ferret, apart from when he isn't. If I was your girlfriend, would you let me undress you? And that was a Prince song.

I never got any flack, did I? If I was your girlfriend, would you let me undress you? I used to like Prince. I quite like some of the weird squeaky sounds he made. Probably going back to the 80s here.

Late 80s. Woo-hoo. Like that.

I mean, that was freaky how close that was. He had a good voice. The thing is, with Prince, he could do high and he could do low.

He couldn't do in between. He could only do one or the other. You could say, well, you can't do this all at the same time, can you? Otherwise you'd need three voices.

I wasn't saying that, was I? I was saying, he was like, did you see the most beautiful girl in the world? And then like, have you seen the most beautiful girl? It wasn't as deep as that, but it was like, yeah. Yeah, that was quite the impression. Unlike Prince, I think one of the things is, with him, is he was unlike Michael Jackson.

I'm not going anywhere weird with this. Unlike Michael Jackson, Prince didn't get, as far as I'm aware, he didn't get stalked by the press. He didn't get hounded, hounded by the media.

Prince seemed to really keep himself to himself. Even though he was much harder working and out there doing hundreds of concerts a year, he was in this kind of pride. In some ways, Prince seemed like the biggest star, the bigger talent.

Not the smallest, because he was tiny, wasn't he? He could fit inside a matchbox. Then you might say, yeah, but what's a matchbox, Jason? When was the last time I even saw a matchbox? Do young people know what a matchbox is? Do they know what a match is? Do non-smokers know what a lighter is? Wow, it's amazing. You know what? I think when I smoked in the 90s, I don't think I even bought lighters.

I always just had matches. But that might not be true. Fade memories of the early 90s.

I've got this memory, right? Okay. And it's almost, well, I guess it is nostalgic. It's 1989.

I think it's September, late September. And I'm walking, I've joined an agency. An employment agency, like a temp, temporary thing.

And I'm on the way to this job. I think it's around Monday morning. I'm walking at 6.30 or 7 in the morning.

I think I might have, I didn't have a chance to have a bath. I might have washed my bum, I'm not sure. But I'm sure I had some breakfast.

I like to eat breakfast in the morning. You know what? I've never really been a non-breakfast eater. Ever, my whole life.

But I know some people that are. Well, I used to know them, but I realised that they were aliens. So that's why, you know, obviously they didn't eat breakfast.

There was something seriously wrong with them. And I realised it wasn't that they were anything wrong with them. It's just they were actually aliens.

They were from another planet. That's why they didn't need to eat in the morning. Anyway, I've always needed to eat breakfast, breakfast cereal.

However, saying that, I'm not really a big fan of a big cooked breakfast. Which is quite lucky, because I'm not sure if I'd have made it to the age I am. If I'd have been able to fry up breakfast every morning.

I would have been much happier, probably. That's a good start to the day, isn't it? Nice runny egg. And you've got to have chips as well.

Or in America, you might call them fries. You're incorrect. They have chips.

But, you know what? I've just realised I've been saying that word for years and not really thinking what it means. So you say fries. In America, maybe Canada as well.

I don't know. Maybe other parts of the world, incorrectly. And then there's no more sense to call them chips either.

It's just... There isn't, is there? Because they're not chips. It's like... I don't know how. Like with America and England.

America is England. I mean, you know, we... We kind of... Right at the very beginning of America's history. We... England, not me.

Nothing to do with me. I'm not in one bit affected. I have nothing to do with it.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not responsible for anything that happened ever in history. Not even in my lifetime.

I am not responsible. I'm responsible. I'm not even responsible for this.

I'm not. No, no. I take no responsibility.

I just wonder... Why did the language get so... Changed? And I guess I could... Educate myself. But I can't be asked. It's... You know, I could look online and find out Why does America say fries and we say chips? And actually fries does make sense because they're fried.

And... Why does America say chips but we say crisps? And, you know... For the same thing. None of this, I guess, is that important. I mean... You know, maybe... Theta Goldberg would be... You know... She's got a point.

There are other things that are more important than... Why we say chips in England than America say fries. I mean, we say crisps and America say chips. Yeah, fair enough.

Aluminium. Aluminium. See, aluminium makes sense.

Aluminium. It almost sounds like I'm learning the word for the first time, isn't it? I'm saying it for the first time. I'm reading it off a piece of paper.

Yeah, I had to get some aluminium. Wait a minute. Let me have a look at this piece of paper.

So, you put some aluminium. Yeah, that's what I like. Aluminium.

Aluminium. I reckon it was a difficult word for English people to say. Too many to go over.

Aluminium. Can't do that, fella. No, governor.

Aluminium. No. Unless, of course, it was just on a piece of paper.

Someone brought it back. And he'd been to maybe New York. You know, back in the 18th century or whatever.

Maybe, I don't know, the 19th century. He came back and he'd picked up a few bad habits. He needed a few bits and bobs to help him to continue his bad habit that he'd picked up.

And he just had it all on the list. But before he left Chinatown in America, he stayed there for some reason. Chinatown.

Do we have Chinatown here? Maybe we do. It doesn't sound right, does it? So it's Soho, Chinatown. See, that sounds a bit... Because imagine if they had that other... I don't know, races.

Is it a race? Are there other races? I think that's a problem by calling it race because no one ever wins, do they? Easy. I just thought of that. No one ever wins.

But everybody wants to. Everybody wants to win. So this person came back from America with a piece of paper.

I need a pipe. I need a pipe. I need some matches.

You know. Some pipe cleaning material. Or some aluminium.

Aluminium. See, I use aluminium. It doesn't sound right now that I keep saying it.

Aluminium. I use it with... I put it on the baking tray. I've done it for years.

And the thing is, the baking trays, they just get all rusty. Well, not rusty, but they do get covered in crap, don't they? Let's face it. And you know what? I've never been so angry.

I've never been so angry. I had a pizza the other day. In a freezer box.

Or some frozen box. Can't be a freeze cardboard, can you? Although, it does get hard, but it's not... It was a frozen pizza. That's what I'm trying to say.

So I get it out of the box. And I... Because, you know, not only do I like to think out of the box, I like to eat pizzas out of the box. And, yeah, that was a week ago.

And I looked at the instructions, just generally to see how many minutes. Because they're not usually more than 12 to 15 minutes in a hot oven. As opposed to a lukewarm one.

And it said, take out the pizza and put it straight into the oven on one of the shelves. Not baking tray. One of the shelves.

How unhygienic is that? I'm not going to do that. I was shy. I wanted to phone them up.

I said, oi. But I didn't know who to phone up. So I went back to the shop I bought them from.

I said, oi. I said, what's all this about? It's about sticking the pizza on the shelf in the oven. But not on a baking tray.

Just directly onto the dirty shelf. And the man said to me, it doesn't really specify that the shelf has to be dirty, does it? I said, no. No.

But it's an oven. Therefore, the shelf's going to be dirty. He said, not if the person cleans the oven.

He said, you're not getting it, are you? You're not getting it. He said, well, actually, I am on a new relationship. And I'm quite happy with the regularity of my getting it.

I said, this is very unprofessional. Talking about... I don't want to talk about your love life. I want to talk about shelves of an oven.

Oven shelves. And he said, you sure you wouldn't prefer to talk about my love life? Because oven shelves, I think it's only so far we can go with that conversation. It's going to come to a natural retirement at some point.

I said, retirement? He said, yeah, it's just another word for end. I said, no, retirement isn't the end, is it? He said, it is. It's the end of your job.

I said, but I don't have a job. He said, I'm not talking about you specifically. I'm talking about retirement.

The concept, the idea, the reality of when you leave a job. You know, retirement at the age of whatever it might be. In your case, 90.

And you retire and maybe if you've been with the same company for ages and ages and ages, you get a watch. Or a clock. Or, I don't know, whatever, whatever it might be.

You might not get anything. But it's, you know, it is what it is. That's what retirement is.

Or, I mean, I know, I used to have a friend that used to retire every evening. What do you mean? What do you mean? What are you talking about? Every evening? You can retire every evening. You can only retire once.

You can leave jobs, but you can only retire once. You know, he retired every evening. Why has your voice changed? I don't know, your voice changed too.

I don't know why. Oh, it's changed again. Oh, oh.

How come he retired every evening? What he would do, what he would do, he would say, he'd put his arms up in the air and go, oh, oh, I'm tired now. And then he'd look at me and he'd say, I'm going to retire. Time for me to retire.

Now I actually thought, the first 400 times he said it, I thought he was, he was actually going to retire. I thought, oh, it's a bit early. Maybe he's built himself a nice little nest egg or something.

You know, he's got a little bit of savings and maybe he'll retire because he decides he wants to spend more time walking through the sea looking for starfish and pumpkins. But no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

He phoned out and what he meant was that he, he was just going to sleep. That's what he meant when he retired. That's strange.

Why, why do I? That was pointless, wasn't it? There was no point, there was no point to that. He's going to be asleep. He, he, he, it's just a bunch of words.

He was just aimless. Aimless but not painless. Oh, here's a word that I found last, well, I didn't even find it.

It's not mine. I wasn't digging, digging a hole in the garden. Oh, what's this? Oh, it's a word.

I'll just play charades with myself. And I, the word in question is the word movies or movie. Let's go to the movies.

I watched a movie last night. I watched a movie and I realised maybe that sound, I don't know if you can hear in the background, maybe it's a plane. It's not a train.

It's a plane. Which is why I can hear it in both ears. Yeah, I think that's what it is.

It just makes me think, oh, are we going back to more planes in the sky? I hope the pilots remember how to fly. There's a lot of pilots that haven't flown a plane probably for four or five months. They have a little, a little test drive on a simulator first before they just get back in.

I'm laughing but I'm really not joking at all. I really hope they do. Movies.

So just like fries is something that's fried. It's very basic, very specific, very almost pedantic in a sense like fries. Well how do you make, well I fry them don't I? Why are they called fries? Because I fry them.

Yeah, but what about all the other things that you might fry? You fry fish, why don't you call that fries? Because it's fish. Yeah, but you, you know, sausages, you might fry sausages. You don't call them fries.

No, because they're sausages. They've already got a name. Ah.

So what you're saying is chips didn't have a name. Exactly. Why don't you call them potatoes? But they're not potatoes.

Potatoes are round, or at least wobbly. Yeah, but you just, you're cutting the potatoes up but they're still potatoes, aren't they? No. No they're not.

No. No. No.

No, no, no, no, no, no. You're not potatoes. They're fries.

Why are they fries? Because, because we fry them. I'm going to try and do the, try and do the American accent now. Okay, so you call them fries because you fry them.

Yeah, I do. I sure I do. That's not American Mexican, is it? Yeah, I sure do.

I fried them in the fryer. So, I'm trying to think of an American accent. I do New York.

Yeah, I fried them in the fryer. I don't want no drama. I fried them in the fryer.

Because I don't want no drama. That's my New York. That's not very good either.

Yeah, I like to eat my fries. Because they've been in the fryer. No, that's not good.

Oh, I could do Richard Pryor. I like... Why? I like my fries. No, that's not very good either.

Why don't you just get me some fries? That's what I want. I want some fries. I could Superman ordering fries.

In McDonald's. No, actually this is an impression of Superman ordering a Big Mac. In McDonald's.

Yeah, Big Mac, please. I feel that's going to be a world famous impression. I feel it's very good.

It's very... Fries. So, they're sliced potato. Not sliced.

Cut up into chunks. Because sliced potatoes fried to crisps. Or chips.

Although nowadays, nowadays. It's not just about fried potatoes, it's about chips. Because you've got Doritos and... I don't know.

You've got very different types of crisps in America. I say you, because to be fair. The high percentage of my audience are in America, but I do have a worldwide audience.

So I'm not going to ignore my beautiful friends and listeners in... Canada. Or in Australia. Or in New Zealand.

Or in South Africa. Or in... See, I don't get stats from... I don't know why. But they don't seem to register stats from some of the other countries.

For example, China, Russia. Don't seem to get much. And if people in Germany, which they are.

There's people in Germany listening to me. There's people in Norway, Spain, Italy. You know, you name it.

There's people in... Thailand. But I think China is a bit harder to get hold of the stats. I might... Yeah, I don't know.

I'm generalizing here. I don't know how much English is taught. Well, can you imagine if a whole generation of young Chinese people... Or Russian, or Indian people, or someone... Russian people, whatever.

Some country that maybe... Learned English and practiced it by listening to my podcasts. Of course, I can't do the accent. But can you imagine? Especially if people in Hong Kong would be listening to me.

Because... Three million Chinese people from Hong Kong are allowed to come to the UK and live. If they want to. So if they did decide to do that... The landscape of England would change a lot.

It would just change. Standard. It would change.

It's standard. But imagine... And you meet these people from Hong Kong. And you're used to meeting Chinese people at all.

Okay, I'm generalizing. But I've never met a Chinese person that spoke slowly. I've never met anyone, really, from any other country that spoke slowly.

I've never met anyone that spoke as slow as me. As slow as me. And if I do meet someone that speaks that slowly... I'd move on.

Because I'd get worried. Plus, I don't need the competition. But imagine if you have these people... Three million beautiful Chinese people from Hong Kong.

And they're all talking. Hello. Any shops? And you're waiting behind them.

Yeah, can I please have a bag, please? So that I can put my products into the bag. Because... I'm not an octopus. I'm not an octopus.

If I was, I'm sure that you might not want me in your shop. And how would I get home? And how do you get on a bus, mind you? Plenty of arms to hold on to the railings. Anyway.

Imagine that. Everywhere you went, there was somebody that had been listening to me. But they'd learn English by listening to me.

I want to do the accent. Not a particular accent, just any accent. But I'm not great at accents.

I might do it another time. And if anyone gets offended, I couldn't care. Because I'm not doing it from an offensive perspective.

I'm doing it for fun. It's fun to laugh at other people. It's fun to laugh at ourselves.

That's the thing. I think we... Human beings have started to take themselves a little bit too seriously. A little bit too seriously.

Like, come on. You know. Let's just chill out a little bit.

Let's see if we can separate human from hatred. There's a little bit of a difference. Yeah.

Yeah, there is. Yes, there is. Yes, there is.

So, the movies. I'm going to watch a movie. Why is it called a movie? Oh, because it's now a moving image.

Instead of just, you know, it moves. Before that, we'd be listening to the radio. Or a stenograph, or whatever.

So, you mean movie... The word movie stands for a moving picture. Yeah, yeah, that's right. You know.

I mean, originally it was animation, wasn't it? And then they managed to do it with, like, real people. You know, a picture, then another picture, then another picture. You know.

At least 32 pictures per minute. And then you just keep playing that continuously. And it makes a movie.

If that's the case, why don't you say I'm going to a talkie, then? What do you mean? Well, there was silent movies. And then when movies first came out, they were silent. In fact, I think, I do believe, I do believe that originally, there was, like, an orchestra or something in the actual cinema.

I don't know about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I got too bored for that conversation.

I got too bored to continue it, sorry. I could not continue it. Let me have a look, see if I've got any messages.

I've got 10 messages. Apparently, it's supposed to be nice weather coming up. So I've got a message on my website from Nick, Charles Nickel.

And he left this five-star review for the product That's often the case, isn't it? This was the first of Jason's sessions that I listened to. It's still the first one I always come back to. It's at number four.

I mean, talk about the first being the best. There was a certain thing that happened for the first time when I was in the shower when I was about, I don't know, 13? Maybe younger, but probably 13. And honestly, never since, the first was the best.

I transcended to a different dimension. I really did. But that was a special kind of sober guess.

Although, you know what I quite like? I don't have showers, because I do have a shower, but I don't use it, because I don't have a shower cone, because I lend that to a friend. Yeah. I've got to stop lending things to people, I really do.

Yeah, and I used to use, before I moved here, I had a shower like this. A shared shower between three... between three rooms. It was the weakest shower I've ever met.

Honestly, it just dribbled out. It more than dribbled, but it was just really... like a soggy handshake at an important meeting. It really wasn't... it just didn't work for me.

And... I'm sure there's a reason I was going to mention the shower. My mind started to drift. I don't know what it could have been.

What could it have been? The Adler's Family. Okay, I'll stop. Um... Did you see the most beautiful girl in the world? Mm-hmm.

Well, that's a nice line, isn't it? Did you see the most... Actually, you know what? I remember years ago, probably about 97, 98, 97, early 98, and someone came up to me. Yeah, I knew him. And he said to me, I'll meet him, my girlfriend, Laura or something, I don't know what her name was.

And he said, isn't she beautiful? I felt under a lot of pressure. Yeah. Well, in a situation like that, you can't say, well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

It's a little bit rude, especially in a... like a social gathering. Oh, actually, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Well, you can't say one like that.

I don't really see her that way. I don't look at her in that way. Or, you know, well... So what I did is I pretended to fall over.

In the result, I actually did fall over and I banged my knee all over her. Meet my girlfriend. Isn't she beautiful? Yeah.

Which way do you go? Yeah. Yeah. Do you want a cup of tea? You can't say that.

On the other side, you can't say, wow. What a stunner. Wow.

Can I take a picture? Wow. I'm going to think of you later. Wow.

Do you want to get rid of him and come and marry me? Wow. She's amazing. You know, you can't kind of go over the top there either.

At the same time, you can't say, oh. You can't throw up in a bin. Not that you would, I'm just saying, you know, you can't.

You know, you're limited to what reactions you can have. So if you meet a friend, you say, I would meet my new boyfriend. Isn't he handsome? You can't just like.

He looks like Jason. Jason, who's Jason? That bloke on the podcast I told you about. I liked his voice and I saw a picture of him.

Oh, man. He looks like a tramp. Oh, yes.

I remember. Jason, what are you doing with your beard? I mean, you're trying to look like a brunette. Are you an emperor or something? Claudius, is that your game? I don't have a game.

But I do have a beard. The two things don't have to be exclusive, you know. I have a beard.

There's no way of getting rid of the beard at the moment. Unless I was to try and cut it off with scissors. And that would take ages.

And normally, I don't really give it much thought. Because I don't really go out. So no one gets to see my big beard.

It is getting quite long now. It's very wizardy. It's getting in that direction.

It's... I'm finding myself wanting to just kneel down and pray. It's weird. The beard is forcing me to kneel down.

I'm starting to face a certain... I don't want to face that direction. What's happening? It's the beard. I always wondered, it's all about the beard.

I actually dated someone who was praying constantly. I mean constantly. I don't know how many times a day.

What are you praying about? What are you praying for? What's that important that you need to pray for? I mean, how long have you been doing this for? And have you won the lottery yet? Actually... A mum phoned up while I was there with her. And her mum was just... speaking for about 10 minutes. And she was saying, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And what her mum was saying to her was, I hope you meet a man, I hope you get married. She's basically just repeating a bunch of words. Some kind of... telephone ceremonial thing.

I said to her, why don't your mum just record it? She's going to do that every time she calls you. Why doesn't she just record it and press play? And she can go and do something else more interesting than you can. And then we were together.

I think you said at one point, I need to pray now. Pray for forgiveness after what I've just done. That annoyed me.

If you think what you're doing... I'm just thinking, generally, if you think what you're doing is going to upset or offend your creator, your god, whatever, why are you doing it? If you need to pray for forgiveness, why are you doing it in the first place? Because you clearly think it's a bad thing that you've just done. So why are you doing it? I don't really do anything that I think is particularly bad. Just scouting those fires and stuff.

Nothing I've done. I've done a few hijackings. I've not done anything.

It's just like normal stuff. I don't think... I sometimes feel a bit bad if I've spoken to somebody on a phone and they've just become my... I don't know. They've annoyed me.

I've had a threatening letter from their company and I call up and I feel there's occasions. It's a handful if you've got a really big hand. It's a handful.

It's just a very small amount really where I've not been the friendliest. And I've felt guilty afterwards. I have.

Not guilty enough to pray. Pray. The whole point of that is for us to feel better about ourselves isn't there? Not everyone's going to admit that but that's the result.

I've done something terrible but now I'm forgiven. I don't have to take any responsibility at all. That's nice.

I knew someone that stole loads of money off their relative and they said God's forgiven me. God's forgiven me. And I was like yeah but society hasn't well I personally couldn't care anyway.

I didn't care what she did. That's what people don't realise about me is I don't care. I don't want profit.

It's like oh no she just robbed a bank why did people I don't know if you can hear the bathroom light being switched on and off and on and off Why? Why? Why man? Why did they put the loudest light switch in the most echoist room? Still I've asked my dad that. He was an electrician he doesn't know. Just to piss off the neighbours.

I mean I've been in hotels, you know like cheap hotels, holiday inns, stuff like that and the light switch to the bathroom is on the outside of the bathroom which makes sense doesn't it?

Turn the light on as you go in before you go in, there's no echo the light just comes on do what you do when you come out, you turn the light on as you leave no echo, no sound, no kiki, kiki that's my impression of the light switch and that's amazing it's so backward in some ways it's so forward with technology like a mobile phone that could basically there's just so much you can do on it and so advanced in some ways but a bathroom light a quiet bathroom light seems to be beyond a lot

of people and I suppose if I was I could technically get an electrician to come and change the light in fact why didn't I do that with my dad when I first moved in there to say can you just change the light to a light switch on the outside but that's not solving the problem anyway because I leave the light on all night simply because I don't want to disturb my neighbours and also I want to be able to see where I am when I wake up in the middle of the night searching for the

toilet but everyone that's lived downstairs since I've lived here they turn the light on and off as they need it and from what I can see most people seem to do that I'm generalising that from two people actually no I'm generalising that from every single place I've ever lived there's this one place oh man there's this place I lived in I could write a book about my experiences living in shared accommodation I actually had I bought a plane a wooden plane to trim the edges the door the bathroom door that was near where I lived

where my room was it didn't close properly so people were slamming it closed which was waking me up early hours of the morning or late at night so what I did is I trimmed the top of the door with this plane so that the door just could close easily so then what happened is that people that were used to pulling it hard were pulling it even harder and it was slamming even harder they realised it was going to close easy so they were pulling it harder and it was making more noise weird art I've got

a message I haven't had many messages lately but again this is from where are you wow it's this Friday Gwen said so sorry you've not been feeling too good recently I certainly don't expect to be 100% on top of the world all the time do you think you could work in do you think you could work in radio or TV I'm sure you will in time please get back on to telling the stories soon no Gwen I did make a new one I've been looking at some of the other things I think the tortoise and

the hare, the boy who cried wolf I've already done those but I did those in a long episode where I did a few different stories I think it was possibly episode number two it lasted for over an hour so yeah I'm just trying to find trying to find this is for my Jason's bedtime story time and I've got a few I've done seven recordings now and I'm looking for public domain books that I can read and it's not it's not that it's difficult to find but I was gonna aim it at try and find as

many famous books as possible or famous stories but there's not huge amounts that are in the public domain so yesterday I just did my own story and I might do a few more of those kinds of things at the same time I'm gonna try and find some public domain stories because some of the stories they're so short they're not even long enough to make a ten minute recording never mind a half hour which I think twenty minutes to half an hour is about the length really for a story for a bedtime story maybe ten minutes

is enough maybe five minutes five minutes is ok for some things isn't it there's plenty of time oh and that's for half an hour you wouldn't want to stand on one leg for half an hour would you half an hour's not long ok I'll come back in half an hour and see how you're getting on with that standing on one leg mind you once you're gone they might just put both legs down they wouldn't put both legs down they'd put the leg that isn't already on the ground on the ground putting both legs on the

floor I'll show him I'll tell him I'll show him beepity beepity beep beep beep right I'm going to go thank you for listening to my babbles I shall speak to you again another time remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy bye