#438 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (25th June 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

And please subscribe to this podcast so that you can be notified of the next recording. And also maybe leave a comment. So hope you're well.

Today is the Thursday the 25th of June 2020. Yeah, blinding. I'm just looking at my phone.

I've got so many different pages open. Oh wow. So it's... I'll just give a quick update.

I want to say thank you to a couple of people first. And okay, let me see who am I thanking. I know who I'm thanking but I just want to I want to say thank you to Helen and Kissy.

So thank you to both of you for your PayPal gifts. I appreciate it. Thank you very much.

I will send you personal messages. So thank you. And I'm just trying to think if I've got any messages.

Oh yeah, I've got a message from... I've not replied to this yet. Sorry Molly. Molly.

Molly. Molly. Just finished number 237.

You mentioned me at the end of 236 as well. And I'm mentioning you now. I'm obsessed with you, Molly.

What can I say? I'm so glad Andre perked up. I know how dear he is to you. Maybe more glad how happy it made you when he returned to his old self.

Maybe you could knit Andre some little trousers or knee pads to help stop his legs dragging on the ground. It's not a bad idea, you know. Thank you.

And Rachel says I'm glad he's feeling better, Andre. He probably had an aesthetic. Yeah.

I had the word in my head earlier. And I guess it's sort of what humans take to calm themselves right down. So you're like practically just docile and almost asleep.

So he had something like that. And he reacted very badly to it. And Rachel says, glad he's improving with your love and care.

I'm sure he'd be happy. And so thank you, Rachel. Well, last night, I thought because I was doing a recording in.

And he suddenly sort of seemed to perk up. And then this morning, all day he wasn't, he was asleep, wasn't doing anything. And then about, I think it was half seven this evening, because it's now 1046.

It's about half past seven. So it's only like a couple of hours ago, three hours. Suddenly I hear this pitter patter of feet.

I look down and he's just staring at me. So I pick him up, give him a cuddle. Tell him to go away.

Well, I heard his good leg. I didn't. I said, okay.

I give him a cuddle now. And I wonder if he's back because earlier, my friend came up with his dog. And Andre always wants to try and bite the dog.

And he had no interest in doing it today. Or biting my friend's feet, his toes. Andre didn't want to do that either.

So he wasn't back to normal at that point. Well, anyway, I gave him a cuddle and he pushed me away. He wanted to get down, which is a good sign because he's like that.

He went back to sleep. At least I thought he did. About 20 minutes later, I stood up from the chair and suddenly he ran out from his bed, staring at me.

So I knew then that he wanted me to take him for a walk because that's what he does. And I haven't seen him do that for a couple of days. So he's back.

He's definitely back. I can't say he's fully back, but then it's hard to tell because of this heat. He gets drained anyway.

And I've had both windows, well, two windows open in the living room all day. And it's been hot. Even I've been hot.

I think about taking my tights off. He's really, you know, getting a little bit, a woolly hat. And I took him to the... Yeah, that's the thing.

I was holding him, trying to take him just to the grass bits and he wanted to get down. So he wanted to rub against the wall and all the stuff that he normally does. So I let him do it.

That's what he wanted to do. Went into the field and he kept stopping and just laying there. But that is what he normally does when he's really hot.

And it was still warm, even at half past seven. It's still sunny outside. It was still, well, sunny, bright.

I don't know. I'm not sure how much sun was shining on me, but it was, it's still really nice. And he just seemed to be, seemed to be himself, which is really nice.

And I walked him. He kept stopping and I'd pick him up and he'd want to get down again. Eventually I brought him back.

So he went out for a long time, got back by about half eight, I think. And he seemed happy enough. I know this isn't something you really want to hear about, but I see him do a couple of poos and he's standing up on both back legs when he does it.

So I think his legs, or he's adapting, but he couldn't do that a week ago. So, you know, it's, I'm really pleased with his progression. And the thing is, if he has to have any more treatment, sedation, that's the word, sedation.

He was sedated, not anesthetized, which is the word that I keep thinking about. Put to sleep. That's not the right term, is it? Sedated, sedate, sedate.

Sedated. Who did sedate? Humphrey. She sedated Humphrey.

So I don't like the idea of, even if he has to have a blood test, are they going to have to sedate him again just to keep him still? No, it doesn't work for me. It doesn't work for me. I'm not outside of an emergency situation.

I'm not having him be sedated again, because next time he might not come back. They struggled to bring him back. They said, they really, I don't think he died or anything.

I mean, and they had to give him mouth to mouth, as far as I'm aware, nothing like that happened. They should have told me if it did. But they couldn't bring him back the way he should be.

And they were, I think they were pumping him with sort of anti, he called it the antidote to the sedation, to bring him back. And it just wasn't working. Now, my concern is, have they done any permanent damage to him? Because earlier on, he was so docile.

And even though he annoys the heck out of me, sometimes, I don't want him to be any other way. I don't want him to be docile and just lay there like a, just not him. It's different if he grows into that.

You know, I'd love him to be a bit more, a little bit more cuddly at times. He is cuddly, but sometimes he just don't get off me, get off, get off, leave me alone. I've got stuff to destroy.

Leave me alone. It's date night. Oh, so, you know, sometimes I'd like him to just climb up on me and just go to sleep.

It doesn't happen very often. But my friend's ferret did it near the last, like the last year or so, or two years of his life, it started to just climb up and go to sleep with him in the evening while he was watching telly. So maybe Andre will be like that in his older age.

But at the moment, he's quite happy to do his own thing. And when he wants my attention, he gets it, demands it. But he hasn't been, I mean, he was, I suppose, a good sign earlier on when we got back from walking.

He spent some time with his girlfriend. So I made a recording in the bedroom. So that's a good sign that he's got his appetite back for those kinds of activities.

I can't believe he's, not only is he more popular than I am with the ladies, he's also getting, getting more, getting, having more fun. Yep. Jealousy.

Jealousy. So, you know, I'm just, I'm hoping that, you know, I'm hoping that, you know, that maybe it'll take a couple of days before he's like on, fully back on it. And the weather might be part of the reason as well.

Because let's face it, yesterday was Wednesday. And when he went to the vets, it was the hottest day of the year. You know, who knows how hot it was inside that building.

They had the doors open. So obviously he'd let some air in. So he might have been sweltering in there.

I mean, here, he's got the option, you know, I've got quite a cold floor in the kitchen. So he sometimes will go in the kitchen during the summer and lean against a radiator because radiator is metal and it's, it's not like sun gets into the kitchen. So he seems to be able to sort of keep a bit cool in that way.

But yeah, I don't know. I was a little bit worried that he was like emotionally traumatized. But I'm probably reading too much into it, just.

But the vet said that he was, he was biting him. So obviously I've, I've given Andre a good talking to. I said, well done.

Congratulations. That's my boy. I was surprised.

I didn't think Andre would do that. But if you're doing something to him that he doesn't like, he's not just going to take it. He's, his natural instincts is to stop you doing it, I guess.

The only, he does, the only time he bites me in those situations is sometimes, and he doesn't really bite me, but there's been times when he's got himself caught, for example. So he's got his, his fingernail caught in some fabric or in his, yeah, sort of in something that was not moving, like his hammock. So he's screaming.

I can hear him really like he doesn't, he lets me know. So I come out to help him. And it's really hard to remove him from the fabric because, you know, I can't really see, see it very well because his nails are quite small.

But at the same time, he's pulling. So I'm trying to push him in so that he's not pulling against the fabric, you know, so he's not going to hurt himself or pull the nail out, you know, something silly like that. He starts biting me, but not, not like horribly, not really, but just like a warning, kind of like, stop that.

But at the same time, he wants my help. It's very frustrating, I guess. But he sometimes gets other parts of himself caught.

But I won't go into that. But when that does happen, all I can do, so for example, he has in the past had towels, towels, like hand towels or something like that, which he has been having date night with, you know, with the slippers as well, you know, threesome, oh dear, gruesome or like, and the towels got some fabric, you know, some loose, not wiring, but some, you know, loose cotton or whatever. And sometimes it gets stuck around parts of him.

And there's nothing I can do other than hold him. And what happens is he can't get it off. And I have to just wait and hold him, hold the fabric to his body, the whatever it is, if it's a towel or, you know, pillow cover, whatever it is he's destroying.

And I have to wait until he calms down, you know, physically goes back to being calm, non excited or whatever you want to call it. And then eventually, the thing just like comes away. I think of a better word, but yeah, it just, it automatically just slips out.

But he makes such a deal about it, and it hurts. I think it hurts him. And it's like, well, be more careful what you do then.

It's just, anyway, let's stop talking about that. It's, yeah, yeah, that's there. Stop asking me about that stuff.

I don't want to answer. So it's, today, it's been all right. I got up.

I still, I'll be honest, I was still still recovering from yesterday, really. Yesterday was a bit of a strain, really, I would say. A strain with everything that happened, and there's other stuff I didn't really tell you about that added to it.

And then, as I got up today, I felt quite okay. I mean, one of the things that gets me up in the morning, or afternoon, depending on when I get up, is, oh, I just burped there. Sorry about that, a bit of gas.

Well, one of, that's grim. One of the things that, one of the first, first, first things I do when I get up is check the stats for the podcasts. That's what I do, because that excites me.

So I usually know what stats I've got from the day before. Usually, there might be an extra couple of hundred added on. So I might go to bed and I'll be 4,750.

And then I might, when I get up, it might, the day before might be, I've gone up to sort of 4,910, or maybe 5,000, you know, something like that. But really, it's what's happened since I've been to bed. So when I go to bed, so if I go to bed about six, six, seven, six, I say six.

Nowadays, about 1,500 downloads before I go to bed. And that's from 130. Yeah, so that's in five hours.

So the first five hours of the day, I normally get about 1,500. And then when I get up in like six, seven hours later, I was a little bit excited, like, what's it going to be? What's it going to be? And nowadays, it's getting on to like two and a half, 3,000 when I get out of bed. Dependent.

If I go to bed earlier, and I get up at sort of maybe 11, which I think I did today, or 12, you know, about two and a half thousand by then, or 2,700. And then, I don't know, I just, see, I know it's boring for some, a lot of people to listen. And I don't always talk about stats.

I know it might seem like it, but that's an exaggeration. Because if you listen to every recording I do, you'd be so bored. Especially if you're waiting to hear me talk about stats, you'd realize how little I actually go into detail about the stats.

Statistics. Statistics. Because, wow, yeah, it's not as often as it seems.

But if I wasn't interested, then I'd have lower stats. If I wasn't interested in what I was doing, then I wouldn't make this recording. I wouldn't have the three recordings I've already done today, this afternoon.

So that's four, including this one. So, you know, it's part of the process, I think. Yeah.

Part of the process. Oh, yes, oh, yes, oh, yes. And, you know, I just find it interesting, just for me personally.

You know, I think, not yesterday, the day before, or maybe Monday, I don't know. But I had just under 7,000 downloads for the day. Which, a really, really good day.

I mean, that's, you know, hitting 5,000 isn't such a big deal anymore. Still like it, but it's not the huge deal it was. But to hit 7,000, nearly, I think I was about six off.

It was literally like 600, no, 6,994, or something like that. Or it might be less, I don't know. I don't know exactly, don't ask me that.

Although the screen on my laptop's probably about two foot away, but I can't see it. So yeah, it's, I'm just interested, and I've got this plan. Here's my plan.

I'm a planful man. So, I aim to do one more recording every day per month, starting from July, July, August, September, October, November, okay, so July, I'm doing four a day now. You know, that's kind of average now.

Sometimes less, but I can do four. I can comfortably do four recordings. Next month, I'm going to make an effort to record five, five new recordings.

June, July, every day, June, July, and then August, six new recordings, then October, seven, then November. No, that's not right, is it? No, wait a minute. June, July, August, September, October, November, December, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, five, six, seven.

So, five in July, six in August, seven in September. I think I missed a month, I don't know. Seven in September, eight in October, nine in November, and ten in October.

No, January. So, ten in December. So, it's an experiment.

It's an experiment to see whether I've got it in me to be professional and to do this as, if I could do this as a business. I know it might sound like a weird idea, but I want to see if I can really, you know, and put everything, I put a lot into it already, but put more. The only, the only thing is the editing, because I've seemed to find myself spending more time editing now than I ever have before.

And the editing takes minimally as long as the recording is. So, that's not really ideal, because to spend an hour or so editing this recording, it just doubles the time, doesn't it? Doubles the time I've spent. That's good.

Really? Does it really work out like that? Wow, you did that without a calculator? Yeah, I did. I see. Yeah, I'm gonna, yeah, perhaps I need to look at some software and if there's any shortcuts or any easier ways of doing it.

Or if I can learn to speak correctly without lisping or whistling during my speech. I, you know, I'm not going to tell you what it is, but I left a little present in my last relaxation session for stress and anxiety. I made a recording today and left a little present in there.

Honestly, it's, I was going to edit it out, but I thought, no, I'll leave it. Just, I don't know why, I was feeling a bit playful perhaps. Because the relaxation for stress podcast is, it's kind of, it's a lot more serious than this is, you know, sort of, I don't really mess around that much in that podcast.

It's probably because of the subject matter. It's, you know, some people are coming there because they're looking for help. They're looking for relief, you know, from the suffering.

And I'm hoping, based on the stats, based on how popular that podcast is, that it is helping people. I just really, really hope so. It's a weird one.

It's a really, really weird one. It's a weird one, indeed. Let me have a look.

I don't want to run away, but I can't take it. I don't understand. If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am? Today's not too bad.

I mean, for stats, it's four. What's it now? It's 14 minutes past 11. So there's still two and a half hours left.

But at the moment I've got 4,626 downloads. I got it wrong. It was Tuesday and it was 6,971.

So I exaggerated, but only by a little bit. Only by a little bit. Only by a little bit.

So let me just see. Okay. So the relaxation, I'm just telling you this because I'm kind of surprised about it.

It's turning into my most popular podcast of all of them. It isn't yet, but it's turning into that. It's definitely competing with the big guns.

So relaxation, so far 235,552. See this week, well today so far I've had 1,383 downloads. Yesterday, 1,268.

The day before, 2,170. So it's like, I don't know what's going on there. So what I do, what I wonder, oh, come on.

What I wonder is this. I'll give you an idea. Oh, I won't keep talking about stats.

Yes, I will. Forever and ever. So, so far in June, I've had 28,776 downloads and there's still about six days left, I think.

26,789. Still five days left. So 28,000.

Last month, I had 36,101 downloads. Two months ago in March, 23,430. July last year, 5,029.

January, 20,477. So from the looks of it, I'll probably be 30,000 plus. It's not as good as I thought, actually.

A bit rubbish. Forget about that then. No, I'm quite pleased.

I think it's overtaken the Deep Sleep Whisperer one, which has surprised me. 21 June, current week. See, Deep Sleep Whisperer today had 396.

Yesterday, it had 802. Day before, 573. So it's sporadic.

It's not sporadic because everyone, every day is a good day, really. But you compare it to the, like, 2,000 or 1,400 or whatever a day for the stress one. So the Deep Sleep, I've got 218,587.

I'm just laughing because I know some people will be, we should stop talking about that. Yeah, part of the reason why I'm doing it, really. Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.

Let me tell you about Let Me Bore You To Sleep once. 158,903. I don't know if those of you that are listening, that have been listening for a while, remember what I was saying, can you help me get to 100,000? Do you remember that? Ay, ay, ay, ay.

Now let's look at my most popular one of all, Sleep Insomnia Hypnosis. 252,765. So far today, 995 downloads.

971 yesterday. Tuesday, 1,399. So that's the big player.

That's the big, the big one. And the one just above, just below that one is, no, it's not the big one. Sorry.

Sorry. Hypnosis for sleeping deeply. That's the big one.

276,182. And so far today, 976. 909 yesterday.

1,144 the day before. I'll stop looking now. Let's see.

Yeah. But the relaxation one, I think it's going to eclipse all of them. It seems to be heading that way, which I don't mind really.

Why would I mind? I suppose, but I do want to get to, I'm looking forward to getting to a million for each of them. And of course you are. It's a million.

Who wouldn't want a million? Me, me, me, me, me, me. I don't know. I suppose half a million first, obviously.

But I think once I got to a million with, yeah, for at least four of my podcasts, I should get to a million by, I'll be at least half a million by the end of the year for each of them. I would say. And then I suppose a million by next summer for each of the ones.

Yeah. And yeah, it makes sense. So that'd be good because then I'll have a total of maybe 5 million for all the podcasts.

And then to get to 10 million, it'd be good. But, you know, it'd be nice to have a hundred million. I want a trillion trillion.

I don't know. It's something about, you know, because it's provable. You know, these aren't just made up statistics.

These are provable. And because I use Spreaker, which is the best podcast host, as far as I'm concerned, they're with this organization. Which means they have to be correct.

They have to produce exact, correct statistics for each podcast. And they're signed up to do that. So they can't exaggerate or anything like that.

So I think it's quite cool. I look forward to... So I've had a 10,000 day before. I think I might have had a 20,000 day before.

21,000. But that's like a one off. Or is it 27,000? I don't know.

It's just numbers, isn't it? But I'd like to get... I'd love to get out a week or a month. I'm looking forward to the first month where I get maybe eight to 10 days where I have over 10,000 in that month. So that'll be good.

Because I know once I get to that, then the next month, most of the days will be over 10,000. Then a couple of months later, they'll all be heading to 11 plus. You know, just this is the way it grows for some reason.

And I'm looking forward to that. 10,000 a day, 100,000 a day would be good. Really? Yeah, I suppose.

Obviously, it'll be good. But yeah, I feel the only way to compete with the big boys and girls is to get the listeners. That's it.

Because for someone that's famous, that's already well known, they can start a podcast and have millions of listeners straight away. They might not keep those listeners, because they might not know what they're doing. Or they might not enjoy doing podcasts, or they might not be a natural podcaster, you know.

So it might be an actor or a musician, or yeah, something like that. They might be the best musician in the world, best singer, best actor, but they might not sit in and talk in and might not be their thing, might not be what they kind of excel at or that they enjoy. And their fans might not enjoy listening to them.

I can think of a few singers that I like listening to singing, but I don't know if I don't want to listen to them talking. I don't know. I'm not going to say who.

I'm not. I shan't. But yeah, if I could get 100,000 a day, I'm on about 150,000 a month now.

So I suppose the idea is to turn that into a week, 100,000 a week, then 100,000 a day. That sort of is the way my brain works. So I need to get it to be... Oh, wait a minute.

Yeah. 100,000 a week would be... How much is that a day? Let's have a look. Let's get my calculator.

It's 100,000 divided by seven. What? 100,000. Okay, divided by seven.

It's 14,285. I'll take away 5,000. So I need to increase my daily by 9,285.

So I'm over a third of the way there. So yeah. So that would be 100,000 a day.

No, a week. Times by 52. It's 5.2 million at the moment.

So the 5,000 times by 365. I'm on about 1.825 million. 1,825,000.

That's roughly what I'm aiming at during the year now, based on my average day. Maybe a little bit less. So if I say 4,500, just to be generous, 1.6 million.

1,642. So yeah, that's right. It's 100,000 a day.

Hmm. It's quite a lot, isn't it? To be fair, it's quite a lot. 100,000 a day times by 365, 36,500,000.

Surely, if I can... Or when I get to that... Let's see what I did there. When I get positive thinking, having 36 and a half million downloads a year, that's got to put me in the top of... Yeah, near the top of something, surely. It's got to put me in quite a good category.

Surely. I don't know. I'm not an expert on this stuff, but I just like the idea that if you put Google, if you Google hypnosis podcasts, and at the top, mine are in there.

Mine actually come up like at the top of the page, as well as a few others. I'm not number one, but I'm in the top 10, like I think I'm fourth. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ooh, ooh, ooh, bam, ba-dum, bam.

The thing is, there are so many online reviews of podcasts that help you sleep, but they don't do any work. They just copy what other people have already done, apart from the ones that have me. So I'm in a few charts where I'm in the top 20 of hypnosis podcasts, which is quite groovy.

I quite like that. And I'm listed on a few podcasts' directories as being quite high up because of maybe the listens or the content or who knows why. I don't know their algorithms.

And there was a point when I was saying this, it wasn't just to show off. Not really showing off, I just got quite pleased. I've worked very hard for this.

I've worked for this recognition. Oh, yeah. A lot of these websites that, you know, the headline would be best sleep podcast to listen to 2020.

And then you click on it, and it's the same podcast as the last list that you might have just seen. And then you search down Google, click on another one. It's the same list, just a different page format.

It's the same stuff. Click on another one, completely different website. It's the same list.

And these are like newspapers and magazines, like proper magazines. They still list the same stuff. They don't do any research.

They're just putting it in there. Oh, this looks good. I'll just basically copy and paste, but definitely copy.

And how do I know that? Because I'm not on that list. That's why. Okay, that's not the only reason.

The reason I know is because I've been researching this stuff for years. I know what's out there. My pulse is definitely inside that finger.

Definitely. I can feel it right now. I'm wiggling my finger around.

I can feel it pulsating. And you know, I know what's going on in the internet world when it comes to podcasts in my field, not so much in some of the other stuff, with my stuff. And I don't know, I just think that I should be listed.

I think because I had this review, probably about a year and a half ago, and someone said, well, let's listen to this man. Let's review his podcast. And he said, well, it's just basically the same as someone else's doing.

He's just copying what someone else does. You try and find someone else that does me. You can't.

I can't do someone else and someone else can't do me. So when I started doing this, I didn't even know that other people were doing boring podcasts. Genuinely, didn't know.

I found out afterwards when I went to search for my podcast to see what I should put it under and, you know, see where is it? Is it listed yet? And then I found these other stuff. And I thought, oh, and it's like, okay, but they're nothing like what I do. First of all, some of them have got really high quality.

You know, they clearly spend money on the production costs. You know, introduction music and just probably just really professional. I can't even spell the word professional or the word even.

I can't spell even. E-T-H-E-I-A-N. So I'm wondering, I mean, there is a way around this.

There is a way around this. I could just produce loads and loads of websites, listing all the best podcasts and just stick my own in the top 10. It'd be easy to do.

I don't really have the money to do it, but if I wanted to sort of go down that road, I could do a hundred different podcasts, all reviewing the podcast world and then promoting my own podcasts. But at the same time also having lots of different sections for other people. You do like a genuine websites, just sneak my stuff in there.

But I'm not going to do that. I could. It wouldn't be difficult.

I'd probably get a lot more listeners if I did as well, because people wouldn't know that I was reviewing myself, but I'm not that dodgy. Yeah, I'm not, no, I'm not going to do that. Why do you know? I said out loud, it sounds like quite a good idea.

Or people listening to me could share the podcast episodes on their Facebook page or Twitter or Instagram or I don't know, wherever. Because I know that most podcast directories or podcast apps allow you to share. I know Spotify definitely does.

And I'm guessing iTunes as well, I don't know. Castbox, Stitcher, Spreaker does. There's loads and loads and loads.

Google podcasts, I don't know. I don't know much, but I know I love you. Oh, I love them.

I love you. Yeah, I love, I love you. I love all of you, including your ankles.

I don't know, I'm trying to be romantic, but that doesn't always work. Doesn't always work. Baby, baby, boo, baby, baby, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.

So yeah, it's been a quiet day. Not as quiet as I'd like it to be, but still having the odd interruption. But yeah, I was a bit tired.

It's probably spent a bit too much time in bed, but I don't mind. Doesn't bother me. I'm at peace with it.

Plus I made four recordings. Can't argue with that. That's not a bad day's work, is it? Made four recordings, reached about 32 people.

Yeah, that is groovy. That was a good day's work. Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes.

I think. I don't know. What do you think? Do you think so? I don't really know.

I wish I did, wish I did, wish I did. I don't really know, but I wish I did. Should I learn the ukulele? What do you think? Is there anyone out there? See, yesterday I was talking about learning to knit, now I'm talking about learning the ukulele.

But I do own a ukulele. It's on top of my bookcase and it's still in the box. I've looked at it twice, I think.

I've had it for about a year and a half. I think I got it at the beginning of last year, possibly in the January sales. It wasn't expensive.

I think it was, yeah, pretty cheap. But anyway, I've got it and I've had pretty much five, over five months without any neighbours downstairs and I could have practiced the ukulele loud and really sort of learned it. But now, and then sort of perhaps learned to play a little bit quieter.

But now I've got neighbours, I don't think it's fair to put them through the learning stages of the ukulele. I mean, when I used to share a flat with a friend back in 1996, I was a security guard and I had a guitar and I got a really nice guitar. I mean, this is beautiful.

I think at the time I spent about £250. Yeah, this is 1996. There's quite a lot of money to spend on a guitar.

And it was just an acoustic, it wasn't electric or anything like that. I couldn't get any kind of vibration really from it. And I just liked the sound of it.

And I did learn the basic chords. I'd learned a bit of guitar earlier in my life when I was younger. Used to play the violin.

But I used to quite like it. And my friend couldn't stand it. That's really weird because, you know, I learned to play a few instruments when I was a kid.

Was it violin, glocking, spiel and the drums? Oh no, more than that. Violin, glocking, spiel, drums and the bugle. And the triangle as well.

But the bugle, I was good at the bugle. A lot of tongue action with that one. It's very wet.

It's a I'd like to, I'd like to play the bugle again. I'd have to have a lot of space when there's no one around. Because it's not fair.

Just not at the time. It's part of the reason I used to practice it because I knew it was annoying everyone. I mean, you can't get a louder instrument really than a, like a trumpet or a bugle.

And it's just loud. Drums, drums are annoying as well. So I quite like that.

Does that annoy them? The violin, that's really annoying as well. For people that don't want to hear it, you know. Especially when you're practicing the chords and you're like, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.

So A, B, C, D, E, F, G.Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Thanks Andrei, thanks for sneezing and being part of the process. See, I, so I was practicing the guitar and my friend used to get really wound up by it.

and I felt more motivated to practice. Just the enjoyment of knowing that he was just getting wound up. It's weird isn't it? I think what annoyed me is because I actually thought I was playing quite well.

So I think I had a Beatles song book. It's like, here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun. I see it's alright, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.

Hey Jude, don't be afraid. Take a sad song and make it better. I'm changing the chords again.

Remember to have it into your heart. Then you can start to make it better. I don't know what the words are to that song, but I think I'm pretty sure that I sung that song when I was about nine to get into the school choir.

Yeah, pretty sure. Or was it Michelle? No, I wouldn't have chosen the song with French in it. I can't speak French.

I'm gonna try and sing it if I can't even speak it. Michelle, ma belle. Bonjour, bonjour.

Petite petite petite petite petite petite I don't know how to speak. I don't know how to speak Francais or any other language. Learned a bit of Polish when I was in London, a little bit of Polish, and then I forgot it again.

But I was working with a lot of Polish people and loved the Polish. Never understood, never understood the weirdness with people towards other nations. Honestly, I've met and worked with people from all over the world and I've not met one nationality that I can generalize about in a kind of unkind way.

Genuinely, there's individuals, but you need to be around, you know, if you're going to generalize on how a French person, how French are because of one French person you've met. Spend the time around a lot of French people and it's different. Like with, I've worked with French, I've worked with Italian, Spanish, Romanian, Lithuanian, Serbian, Croatian, they didn't always get on.

And all other ones, Polish, Norwegian, French, Cambodian, African, Ghanian, Zimbabwean, I don't know, you name it. Does Zimbabwe even exist anymore? I'm not sure. I get cocky and confused.

My geography isn't perfect, but then I put no effort in whatsoever. The thing is, if you got me started on geography, I'll end up knowing more than most people if I really got caught in it, because I would be obsessed with it. And I don't want to be obsessed with geography, please, don't push me into it.

Because then I'll start really, really studying it and reading books on it and mapping the world and know where everything is. And I don't want to, you know, I'm too old, I don't want to be doing that. It seems very pointless.

So that's why I kind of keep my ignorance. I don't mind a little bit of knowledge, but I've got to be careful I don't get too involved in any one particular subject, because I can get caught in that, I can get caught in the net. Like I did with website building, or with hypnosis, I guess.

Or with martial arts, or with comedy, or with the occult. When I was a kid, you know, I got really obsessed with all that stuff. It's like, I suppose now you could say podcasting, I suppose.

Well, this is just another, it's another leg, isn't it? It's another limb to the whole hypnosis body. It's kind of strange, and I don't know why. But I think, you know, almost... Hello, Andre.

Hello, mate. Hello, you alright? Yeah, he's running to the hallway. That's a good sign, the fact that he wants to, I don't know, explore, or be naughty or something.

Yeah, but I was gonna say, what's weird is, I struggle a little bit to think back to what things were like before I started really focusing on these podcasts over the last two years. Well, it's not two years yet, is it? Or is it? I don't remember. Was it November 2000 or October 2018? No, I don't know.

Anyway, let's say a couple of years or less. I don't know, it just seems that this is the... I wonder, he wants his dinner, that's all he wants. I know it's not funny to laugh at him, but he's now his girlfriend.

It just made me laugh when I see him do it. And he's starting to slide around on purpose. So he's running, and then just laying down and sliding along the floor.

So he's purposely doing that. And it's like a car sliding along. And it's kind of like he's having fun with it.

Because it's a carpet, it's soft. And it's quite slippery for him, I guess. I've never seen him do that before.

He just ran and just dropped his body to the floor, all his body, and just slid around. All right, he's now included the newspaper in his little adventure that he's doing now. So I'm going to go, because it's going to get a little bit louder than I actually would like.

Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself. Do something nice for yourself today.

Lots of love. Bye.