#443 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (2nd July 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Boy To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Yeah.

Thanks for listening. Please subscribe to this podcast. Maybe you'd like to leave a comment or perhaps share this podcast with your friends online.

Yeah, groovy. Yeah, cool. So I hope you're well.

So I have a few messages to read. So what day is it today? It is Thursday 2nd of July 2020. So yeah, got a few messages.

So let me read you the messages first. I just saw it probably. Where are you? Notification.

So I had a few. I was trying to keep track. So I've got a message for my number two Jason story time, three picks, which I released today.

And Sarah says, brilliant, Jason, such a good idea. Having said that, I fell asleep within five minutes of the three picks story. I can't even remember how it started.

And Sarah, I think it was started. There were three pigs. I think.

But that is the whole point, isn't it? Yep. The point is, it's a bedtime story. Suffice to say, I will have to try the three pigs again tonight.

Again, what a fab idea. Lots of love to Andre. Thank you, Sarah.

It's very kind of you. And Barry says, can't wait for my bedtime story. Cool.

Thanks, Barry. So I better send a reply to Sarah. Thank you.

I've got other messages. I'm just not very organized, am I? I'm generally just inbox, inbox. Louise.

Louise. Okay. This is from Louise.

Hi, Louise. She says, I love your podcast. Let me bore you to sleep.

I listen to it every night. I have so many Andre questions. Okay, so does he have a cage or does he just roam free, like a dog? Is he toilet trained? Does he only do the toilet during his walk? In a certain part of the house, like a cat litter? Or does he just do his business around the house? You're obsessed with ferret poo.

Why does he eat cat food? Is that normal? Yeah, if you actually go into fields, you'll see a lot of empty cans and the occasional tin owner they leave out in the field. People forget to take it. That's what they eat, cat food in the wild.

Or maybe not. It's so many Andre questions. You could honestly just do a podcast on how to keep a pet ferret and I'd be happy.

Well, Louise, thank you very much. I'm going to answer your questions one by one. But first of all, I'm going to answer David's question, just because I can't find it.

But I literally just read it before I started this recording. So, David, David, does Andre purr like a kitten? No, he doesn't. I kind of wish he did, really.

But he's nothing like a cat in a sense of he is in a way of being stubborn and only doing what he wants to do. That's how cats are. He's not here to please me like a dog.

Sometimes it seems like dogs are just happy as long as they can please you. He doesn't want to please me in any way. Got no interest.

He's just all about himself. And so does he purr? He doesn't purr, like doesn't vibrate, you know, like cats do. But he does make, if he's fallen asleep in my arms, which he sometimes does, and he'll make like a whimpering noise, like like that.

And then he'll wake up and he looks at me and says, who are you? What are you doing? Get off He's still doing that one. And so it's very annoying. So he's, he forgets sometimes he falls asleep.

And I guess because he's so vulnerable when he's asleep, why he should be worried about being vulnerable when he lives with me and he's never had to protect himself or anything. But yeah, he's just natural instincts, I guess. So he doesn't purr, but he does go like that.

So when he's asleep, or when he's awake, he makes all kinds of weird noises. When he gets angry, he goes. He does, it makes that kind of sound when he's angry.

Sometimes when he's, see, his girlfriend is a little slipper. And if I take his slipper, and I tease him with it, when I say tease, I don't do a little dance or anything. There's no pole dancing involved.

It's if I hold it above him so he can't get to it. Or I let him sniff it and I'll sort of pull it away. He'll go like that.

So it gets really, where am I going? Like that. He's very high pitched. I forget how little, because I see him, I don't think of him as being a baby anymore.

But some of the noises he makes are so babyish. He's like really high pitched. So he's a little boy, still a little boy.

But technically he's about my age now. He's middle aged. He's five years old, nearly.

In fact, he probably is five, no, five years next month. So David, I hope that answers your question. He doesn't purr.

He doesn't really sit still, if you know what I mean. Apart from when he does sit still. When he's asleep, he's asleep.

He spends a lot of time asleep. Sleep's probably 18, 19 hours a day. But it's not all in one go.

It might even be longer than that. But when he's awake, he's wide awake, like really full on. So I try to do what I'm doing around him being asleep.

So I just made a recording from my relaxation, stress and anxiety podcast. So I did a relaxation technique and he was quiet the whole time. I was only talking for about 12 minutes, but he kept quiet the whole time.

It was lovely. There's no way of knowing. There really isn't any way of knowing when he's just going to jump up and start running around and doing stuff.

So hope you're well, David. So I've answered your question. The next thing is Louise, going back to Louise.

Thank you for saying that you love my morning to sleep podcast. It's very kind of you. So Andre questions, does he have a cage or does he just run free? Yes to both of those.

He's got a cage. He's got a big cage actually. It's a top notch cage that he's had since.

I think I got it in probably about two weeks after I got him. And it's one, two, three, four tiers high. So there's four levels to it or five, including the bottom.

And there's a hammock. There's also a big thing that he can sleep, that he can like, I don't know what you want to call it, but you can climb inside like a nest. You can nestle into there.

He's got water and some dry food always there. And there's paper at the bottom. Normally I used to have cat litter at the bottom, but I kept running out of cats to give birth.

I used to have, yeah, but he basically, he doesn't go in there anymore. He runs free, roams free. He sleeps wherever he wants to sleep.

And if he wants to go in the cage, he will, but he doesn't really want to go in there anymore. But I do have it in the living room because I need to put him in there sometimes. Because I tried for this month, I'm trying to do five recordings a day.

So I've never attempted that many in one day before, like regularly. And there are times when I have to put him in the cage just to keep him quiet, just to sort of keep him in one place. And I close the living room door, close the bedroom door, close the kitchen door.

I close the kitchen door first, then I close the bedroom door. It's much easier to close the kitchen door when I'm actually near him. And I do my recording, or a couple of recordings, and then I'll let him out of the cage and he's happy.

So he's never in there for long. Or just about a half hour ago, my friend came up, a neighbor, and he didn't have any shoes on. Straight away, Andre went for his feet.

He had his toes, which is what Andre would always do. Always. Doesn't matter if you're a man, woman, child, or donkey, he will go for your feet.

He's never met a donkey, so I guess that's a guess. But you know, I'm just thinking of animals with toes. Where he likes to sleep at the moment is behind the door, on top of a jumper, you know, a jumper that he's got his smell on it.

And also inside some tracksuit bottoms, he likes to sleep inside them as well, which are the other side of the door. He also has bags that he sleeps in. He goes through periods where he will sleep on my bed.

He hasn't done that for a while, but in the winter, he spends a lot of time sleeping on my bed, or inside the bed, either underneath the quilt or in the middle of the quilt. So he'll climb in to where the quilt goes into the quilt cover, and he'll sleep in there. So that's one of his favorite things to do.

But he doesn't do that so much during the summer, but in the winter he does. And I think part of the reason I don't, I don't move him or anything is because he looks so cute, and he's asleep on my bed. And he's stretched right out sometimes.

It's a double bed, and he's a little, little thing. But he seems to take up most of the bed. So if I try to get him to bed while he's in there, I'm just, I'm literally balancing on the edge of the bed, because there's no room.

He stretches right out. So that's it. He's other places he sleeps.

In the summer, he likes to sleep, he quite likes to sleep in the kitchen, because it's a cold floor, there's no carpet. And he'll sleep behind the oven, or he might sleep near the radiator. So a little bit of cold metal is something he likes in the summer.

And also because, I mean, the sun won't get anywhere near the back of the oven. So it's going to be fairly cold or cool under there. So he likes that.

And yeah, so that's the sleeping bit and the cage bit. Is he toilet trained? No, he trained me. So when he's in his cage, he's toilet trained.

He has to go, and that's it. He has to go at the bottom of the cage. And he's very, very, quite clean, you know, he doesn't like to be anywhere near his poo.

Luckily, he's got such a tall cage. And it's got to be up to, it's higher than my chest, more about nine foot tall. Not really, I'm two foot and a half.

And as far as toilet training, he goes to the toilet in the corners of the room. So I had to put down paper. I had to kind of be led by him.

I tried to train him, but it wouldn't work. He wouldn't, he wouldn't do anything that I told him. I'd pick him up, move him, pick him up, just nothing.

So he goes in the corner of the room. So here at the moment, he's got two places where he goes. And I wish he was like a cat.

I could put a little toilet in there that he could go in and flush like cats do. A little sink so he could wash his hands and stuff. A little bidet.

But, you know, it doesn't work for him. And it got to a point where he was doing poos in every single corner of the flat. So what I had to do is, I had to put stuff in those places to dissuade him from going.

So it took, so I kind of did train him to not go everywhere. Just stick to two places in the living room, one place in the hallway. Unfortunately, he does it near the front door, which is a bit annoying.

But he will go on the paper, most of the time. You know, he doesn't he's good like that. So he is trained on that aspect.

Sometimes he misses. Sometimes I think he just does it to wind me up. Another place he likes to go in the bathroom sometimes, but when I'm going to the toilet, which is weird.

I don't want to talk about myself going to the toilet, but for some reason, he likes to do it at the same time as me. Isn't that strange? So it's, he doesn't do that that often. But it's a lot easier to clear up because it's, the thing is, he doesn't do stuff in the middle of the floor, always does it in the corner.

It's like a natural thing, because if they crouch backwards to a corner, they can keep an eye out and they can't be attacked, I suppose, by a predator. Whatever predator he expects to find here, I don't know. And then he's got one place in the kitchen that he goes to the toilet probably once a year, maybe twice a year.

He never tells me when it's going to be. So it's always a surprise. It'll always be the time that I go in there in the evening and I don't turn the light on.

I just go to the sink to put something in the sink and then suddenly, squelch, squelch, squelch. I mean, literally, he really, really, really does it. I don't, sometimes I think it's just to, maybe I've given him a bath because he doesn't like having baths or I've told him off or something.

So he just gets his revenge. Yeah, actually that particular night, I remember because he was, he was looking at me and giggling. So I didn't really know what he was up to.

What were you giggling for? I said to him, what were you giggling for? He said, nothing, daddy. You just carry on. Maybe it's time to put that, that dirty plate into the sink.

Don't want to leave it in the living room. By the way, it's no point turning the light on, it's there. It's good to save energy.

I didn't think any of them were there at the time. So that's him. So he's fairly, he's fairly clean to be fair.

He does it in certain places. I've tried lots of different ways of training him, but he won't, he's so stubborn. And here's a quick, does he only do the toilet during his walk? Well, no, because he will avoid going to the toilet when he's outside at all costs.

Does not like going to the toilet when he's out. He has done, you know, when he has to go, he has to go. He's got no choice, but he doesn't like it.

And I don't know why, because I'll take him into the fields, take him into the park, because he likes to go around the edges and he's sort of in, you know, near the plants and he could do a little poo and no one would even notice it because it's practically invisible and it's out of the way of anybody. Or if he's in, if he's in the field, he'll do it again, practically in the ditch. But it's very rare that he does anything like that.

In fact, a couple of days ago, I said to him, come on, let's get ready. I was going to take him for a walk and I was putting my jacket on and my shoes on and he ran over to the corner. I was looking at him and he was trying to force a poo out before going for a walk so that he didn't have to go to the toilet while he was out.

You see a little strain on his face. I was like, really? Why can't he just go outside like everybody else? Well, not everybody else, but you know. And the weird thing is I want to take him into town, which isn't really very often these days.

But if he does ever go into town, he's absolutely free to go to the toilet. He loves it. He loves going to the toilet in shop doorways.

Strange, isn't it? Something changes with him. I suppose it's a little bit like people that go to Ibiza or they go to a holiday destination and let their hair down and become uninhibited. He's like that with pooing.

He goes into town, he's just pooing everywhere. It's really weird. I can't get my head.

I don't understand him. This recording was not supposed to be about Anglo's poo. So I'll move on.

Why does he eat cat food? Is that normal? Not really. Yeah, I think so. And I'm not an expert, but he likes cat food.

It's got meat. But it's not raw meat. I could feed him more meat, but according to the vets, that could give him an ulcer.

I'd have to keep an eye on his health as well, because there's certain things that could cause problems. Cat food, it's something I can get a hold of fairly easy. I don't have to go hunting.

I wouldn't, I couldn't give him a live animal. Not in a million years could I ever do that. Even though I don't think he'd know what to do with it.

If I brought a rabbit in here and just, it probably would, you know. Yeah, it's, I guess his instincts would kick in. But he's been, he's been six foot away from a rabbit quite a few times before, and he's got no interest.

Because his tummy's always full, you know, he's always got food available. He's got dry food, which is ferret, dry ferret food. And I need to get some vitamin paste, ferret, ferret vitamin paste.

I have to, I have to do that. I can't afford to get any at the moment, but that should, that's, he loves it. It's really weird.

I think he'd eat it all day long. Get off my foot, Andre. And he's cut his toenails.

And he, yeah, so he gets the, his teeth get to be cleaned by the crunchiness of the hard food or the dry food. He gets vitamins and stuff that he doesn't get from the wet food. Do you want to, do you want to get up? So now I've got him.

He's in my arms. Hello, mate. So do you want to say hello to David and Louise? Want to say hello to Louise? Hello.

That wasn't really him, it was me. He wants to know why he's so interested in his bowel movements. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

It's really weird. When my friend was here with his, because he had his socks on, I had to put Andre into the cage. And he went into, he went into his little nesty thing that he's got, and he just stuck his head out and stared at me.

He's almost really feeling sorry for himself. Where is I? I can't believe I've been in here for three and a half minutes. Do you know how long most ferrets spend in a cage daily, Andre? They live in cages.

They might get a little bit of time out for playing around and get the whole home to themselves like this. I'm sure some do, but a lot don't. What's that? He sighs sometimes when I'm talking to him and I tell him off, he goes.

He's practically falling asleep as I'm looking at him. Are you falling asleep? Are you falling asleep? Are you falling asleep? Give him daddy kisses. Are you going to do a little purr? Do a little purr like a kitten? Do a little purr like a kitten? Do a little purr.

Do you want me to get him to do that sound? When, where's your slipper, Andre? So I've got his slipper. This is the sound he makes when I won't let him have his slipper. Do you want it? Do you want it? Do you want it? Do you want it? Make that noise again, you can have it.

Make noise again. Sick. There you go.

There you go. He's run off with the slipper now. He didn't like that.

Entertained me though, so that's the main thing. So yeah, I think I've answered all of Louise's questions. So thank you for that.

And I need to hear, what did the happy anniversary? I don't know. Let me have a look. So Molly, oh yeah, Molly says, I love the story time, by the way.

So groovy. Thank you, Molly. Okay.

Rachel says, that big issue woman is an ungrateful cow. I'd not give her another penny. Okay.

I've not seen her for ages. And Georgie says, I did that yesterday. I'm sure there were other messages.

I'm sure there was, but there might not be. I'm sure there was. So let me see.

Let Me Bore You To Sleep ones. By the way, you can actually, if you go to my Let Me Bore You To Sleep page on Facebook, you can then send a message and stuff. Oh, I've got three comments.

Okay. All right. Okay.

That was from the three little pigs story. Okay. I think that's everything.

That's all the messages. I've spent 36 minutes just talking about messages. See, this podcast is about you.

All about you. It's not about anything else. And I'd like, I'd like there to be, I'm going to shut up.

It's such a perfect picture right then. I could have took, but I won't. But he, yeah, I like the interaction because I don't have that on my other podcasts.

And so if I did a deep sleep whisper, if someone does leave a message saying, I really like your deep sleep whisper ones, I might sort of mention that because I know, well, I'll guess that that person will hear it. But outside of that, you know, the relaxation, relaxation, stress, anxiety, panic attacks, don't get much in the way of comments there. Oh, I've got a comment here from the three bears story.

Number one, Jason story time, the three bears. And Deb says, this made me laugh out loud so much, especially the ice cream bandit. Hilarious.

I need more. Well, thank you, Deb. Another one's been released.

So you've got another one. Can never have too much of a good thing. Oh, yeah, had a couple of website reviews as well.

So I had a new website review. I don't know if I read it out. Just want to say thank you so much, Jason, for keep doing what you're doing.

This is literally one of the quickest ways for me to fall asleep at the moment. I fall asleep waking up to your boring monotone voice. And I mean it in the nicest way possible.

Again, thank you. Thank you very much for that. And I've had, I've had, had, had, had at least one other WhatsApp today.

So Gwyneth, Gwyneth left me a message on my website. It's a five star review. So Jason Newland storytelling in a fairytale voice as the headline.

So glad you found a new direction to explore. I've been contemplating what more you could do. Because let's face it, I'm amazed how much of yourself that you have revealed about yourself and openly included in your 4000 let me put you to sleep podcasts.

There are a few in there. You have shared so much about your life to me, the jobs you've done, your education, or lack of it. I had to get a little bit myself, and relationships and friends and families.

Why? Why I could possibly write you your biography, or at least your CV. This is what I admire about you, your personality, honesty, openness, humour, and integrity. I do believe you should be knighted, will tell the Queen.

Thank you, Sir Jason Newland. I don't always agree with everything people write, but I can't pick a fault with any of that. I think I should be knighted.

I agree with you, Gwyneth. Yeah, it's hard to disagree with that, isn't it? You know, when someone says that you should be knighted. Yeah.

Yeah, I think so. Also, I reckon I'm, I think I'm quite a positive example of mental ill health or mental illness or whatever. You know, there's not a lot of positive, I'm not a role model, but it's not a lot of positive examples when it comes to things like bipolar or personality disorders, especially in the press and TV and stuff.

The news, it's all pretty much always negative. So my friend did ask me, he said, why do you mention that to people? Why do you mention the mental illness? And he was thinking of me, I guess. He was thinking of my emotional safety, I suppose.

And I thought about it, and I think it is because a lot of what I do, I hope is positive. You know, I know I have a little mode and stuff, but generally, with the other stuff I do, relaxation, stress relief, all the things I've done over the years, it's all kind of with a positive intention. Then to have that connected to bipolar or personality disorder, or it just seems like a it's a really positive thing to realize that people, just like people in wheelchairs, they're human beings.

People with multiple sclerosis, human beings, people, whatever is going on, human, ultimately. You know, that's all categorizing everybody in the same way. And so yeah, so thank you for that.

I know you didn't talk about mental health, but I just wanted to add it. I wanted to remind myself, because during this lockdown has been going on, is people with mental disabilities, mental health disabilities, have pretty much been ignored, I would say, in my country anyway, or at least in my area. Not completely.

I still have my monthly psychology thing on the phone. But I can't order any food, you know, I can't get food deliveries or anything like that. Because I'm not categorized as vulnerable, even though I have a disability.

And the electric and gas company have got me down as being vulnerable. And technically, I am vulnerable. I'm just not physically.

That makes sense. I don't know. Anyway, Deb left a message.

I think this might be the same Deb as before. Well, I guess it's the same message. I loved it.

This is for the, this is on my website. Number one, Jason story time three bears. This made me laugh out loud many times, please do more.

So thank you, Deb. So I have, I have done more. I've done more and more and more.

Wow. How cool is that? Yesterday, right? I did. You know, I said I want to do five recordings a day.

Well, there's a company called feed spot. And they promote the podcast. And you know, they send me, they send me an email every day just sort of, and they tell me how many podcasts I've got online as well as other people's.

And it's got down five. So I've got number one, Jason story time three bears, number 442, everybody to sleep. Oh, wait a minute.

No, that's not right. I'm sure I did five yesterday. Let me check my website.

Let me check my website. I just look for latest latest recordings. It's the first of July.

123412345. Yeah. 1,2,3,4, are we heading?

1, 2nd row, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, so I've done 6 today because this is, yes, I've got another one that I did before this that I've not uploaded yet and this one, so yeah, 6, wow, I think it's because I've got the story times, they've changed, yeah, and also I'm doing a deep sleep whisper every day, wow, so it's 6, my aim was to do 5 this month, a day, 6 next month, a day in August, 7 a day in October, 8 a day in November, no, 5 a day in July, 6 a

day in August, 7 a day in September, 8 a day in October, 9 a day in November, 10 a day during December, that was my plan and I was going to be doing some, excuse me, I was going to be doing some maybe chronic pain relief stuff as well but I don't know, I'll try and stick to the 5 a day but I might end up doing 6 a day this month, or, or, now I know that not everybody's interested but yesterday I broke my record, I broke my record, it was not the record, I

didn't break my record but I did, if you know what I mean, and I had 7,421 downloads and today I've had 5,661 so far, it's like, wow, 7,421, that's not bad is it?

So I'm going to be, what's the time now?

It's still three and a half hours left before the stats are kind of collated, plus the GT300, two or three hundred added on, so I'm looking at probably 6 to 7, yeah, probably 7,000 again today, so it's nice, it's nice that, also I quite like the fact that my little stories, although they're not my stories but it's my, you know, me telling them, reading them, is they've kind of been quite well received, so I'm fairly pleased with that, I think what I'm going to do is if at the end of this month they, you know,

they're still popular and people still like listening to them, I will do a separate podcast for them but I'll probably still put them on here as well, I'll just have like a separate podcast and spread the word, you know, and stick them on iTunes and, because this is kind of like a tester, because I've had, yeah, probably about four or five hundred downloads of the one I did yesterday, three, four, five, maybe more, a hundred, maybe less, I don't know, so it's not a bad little start, so I just need to find more stories that

I can read that are copyright, that don't have a copyright infringement and then do my own thing with it, you know, so I'll probably be doing The Wizard of Oz soon but I won't be able to do that in one sitting, you know, I don't, I can talk for an hour, well I can talk for hours and hours but I don't want to, I suppose I could read the whole thing in one go but if it's literally hundreds of pages it's gonna be, I have to do it in parts and then perhaps do it, I

guess if I'm gonna do that I'll have to finish the recording, do it in parts and then release them like one day after another, yeah, that makes sense, yeah, I think could have grown my hair long, like really, really, really long, like really long, the problem is I've known a lot of people that have had long hair and their hair falls out and I used to have long hair and I've receded at the front but it's just kind of, it got lazy, I think my hair is so lazy it can't be bothered to fall out,

so you know, I used to have hair down to the back of my neck, I still do but I mean I'm talking about when it was attached to my head and this part, maybe it's a middle-aged thing, I'm starting to think perhaps I should do something a bit different for me because I've had short hair and I've been shaving my head for the last, you know, nearly 20 years, 18 years, about 20 years ago I had a lovely haircut but I had it, yeah, I was quite well, quite well put together, quite well put together,

super glue, the super glue was nuts and bolts, only the best, yeah, 20 years ago I was a DJ, I was a DJ and I was having fun, oh yeah, having fun, actually it's quite weird to think about it, 20 years ago I was, I've been given my eviction notice for where I was living, I think I might have even moved out by now, yeah, yeah, I think so, yeah, so I've given my, I don't know how much notice I was given in where I was living, so it might be March I was given the

letter and then I moved out and I ended up living just up the road and it was in this room which was clearly originally a living room but with a door separating, breaking into two rooms but just a door that wasn't a proper door so you could hear right through it, I couldn't see through it, I tried, I couldn't see nothing and it was just really ridiculous, I mean I snore but the man next to me snored like he snored, like proper, proper snored and there's nothing you can do about it, you can't knock on

someone's door and say can you please stop snoring, it's like saying can you please stop breathing, you know, it's not their fault, you can't help it if they snore, so yeah, it was weird but I didn't stay there for too long, lived there for probably about two months and then I moved because my nan broke her hip and I visited her and I kind of wanted to be closer to her because she was sort of disabled now and I just thought oh you know I could have lost her so I just luckily she had a

name and address on her on her ankle but it's yeah it was weird the way it all worked and I was, I was walking through the town, I don't even know why I was in there, I think I was just visiting her, I'd already visited her for you know originally and then I went back and visited the next week because she was in convalescence, she was being convalescent, and it's weird because my friend's mum was also in the bed next to her, it's not weird but it's just sort of, you know, coincidental and the next

time I came up I went past a window which had a, it was an agency, employment agency and there was a job in there for sales staff in a call centre and at the time I was working in a call centre in London but it was outgoing calls only, cold calling for mobile phone contracts, so I went in there and said, oi, oi darling, I saw that that advert in the window, just wondering what's happening, what's your bad?

And they said, can you talk normally please? I said okay, sorry, and saw that advert, I was just wondering if you could tell me a bit more, and she said oh you do have a nice speaking voice when you don't try and put on some weird accent, I said oh thank you, it's just so nice, I mean in London that's how I talk, she said why? I said I don't know, no one else talks like that, I just feel like I got called like this all the time, be aggressive, she said I'm going to stop, I said I'm sorry, I forgot, I went back into it, she said okay, no, please don't do that again, and I said, she said are you interested?

I said yeah, she said no, in the job, I said yeah, that's what I'm talking about, what are you talking about?

She said I thought you were interested in eating out my sandwich, I said no, I didn't even see your sandwich, she said how can you not see it, it's right on the table in front of me, she said oh, I said oh, and then she said oh, and I said I'm not really here about the sandwich, I've already had something to eat, she said oh, that seems interesting for some reason, anyway I said to her look, can we get back to the job, and she said oh yeah, so you're interested in the job, I said

yes, she said well, if you want, I'm giving a quick phone call, and she was really quite dynamic, and by the way, that background sounds oddly on dateline, just in case you're wondering, and she made a phone call and said come with me, and she took me around there, it was around the corner, and I ended up having an interview, and then I came back to the office, and I filled in an application form after the interview, and then they said that they'd give me another job, they'd give me another interview, so I had two

interviews, and I was on my way home, I think, but I might not have been, and the, so this wasn't in London, this was near where my my nan lived, and they said we can have another, your second interview will be on, I don't know, Wednesday or something like that, I said okay, so I went back, I went, I had to borrow my dad's clothes, because I didn't have any, and I was literally wearing just jeans and a jumper, you know, because that's what I was wearing, but because I knew the interview, I had to

sort of prepare, so I wore my dad's clothes, trousers, shirt, what's it, a tie, a nice big bow tie, and I wore his lucky underpants, I never have told him that, but I thought, you know, it's, I did actually ask him once why they were lucky, and he wouldn't tell me, and then I asked my nan, nan, what is, why is his underpants, why are they lucky ones, why they're so lucky, and my nan said, because he's never soiled those ones, and no, that, none of that's true, wow, I know none of it's true, please

don't tell anyone, and so I went to the interview, and then I think a couple of hours after the interview, I got a phone call saying, yeah, you can start, we want you, we really want you, so I thought, yeah, cool, I'll do that, and they wanted me to start the following Monday, which meant I couldn't go back to my other job, which I wasn't really that bothered about, but I had to, yeah, to make a lot of changes, move a lot of stuff around, and find somewhere to live, and all that stuff, yeah, in

some ways, it was a move that I regretted, because I went from being, I don't know, I had a social life to, I don't know, just changed, you know, everything I did when I moved was connected to where I was working, but then my social life was connected to the comedy club, but it was different, because I was a DJ, I was a DJ, DJ, DJ, no, DJ, no DJ, DJ, DJ, no one says DJ, when DJs say DJ, they say DJ, no, DJ, stop winding me up, oh, sorry, Jason, so I, yeah, that was

a year ago, in September, 10 years ago, 20 years ago, sorry, no, not 20 years ago, I'm getting the years wrong, when I said it was 20 years ago, no, it's 19 years ago, so it's 2001, I'm a year ahead, it's not 2001 yet, is it, it's still only 2020, 2020, 2020, yeah, just forget all that, I mean, the basic facts were still the same, I just, the timeline was incorrect, and specifically, so yeah, other than that, it was kind of similar, I need to cook some food, but I can't be bored, that, so I

think that's it for another sunny day, let's see if anyone's left any messages while I've been talking, because this does happen sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, it actually happens, it really do, because sometimes, it actually happens, that I need to find my messages, so nothing that I can see, so that's, that's all right, nothing new, nothing new, nothing, so I hope I've read out all the messages, and of course, you can message me wherever you want, but if you want to, Kate Antony sent me a friend request, who's Kate Antony, oh, it's quite weird, there's no picture,

but when I click on it, there is a picture, so she lives in Colorado Springs, and update her picture, and that's it, and okay, so I don't know who she is, who is she?

I don't know who she is, I really don't know who she is at all, so let's have a look, if I respond, if I say confirm request, let's see what comes up, when I put it, oh, still, so according to this, she was born 15th of July, 95, but it's just two pictures, same picture, updated an hour ago, and so it's got 21 friends, and they're all men, so there's a contact information number, okay, so I was a little bit dubious, just because I get quite a few messages from people that ask to be friends

on Facebook, and I've ended up wanting, or not being real people, you know, so if you are, say hi, if anyone just adds and says, some people do add me as a friend, and I accept, because I assume they know sort of what I do, you know, I assume that they're adding me as a friend for a reason, because why else would you?

It's got to be a reason for it, and then they say, how are you then?

Okay, well, it's, I need the person to sort of leave me a message saying, I'll listen to your recordings, thank you, don't have to say thank you, but just so I know why they've added me, because pretty much that's the only people, that's why I'm on Facebook, I'm not on Facebook, I joined Facebook predominantly to promote my recordings, my videos, my audios, podcasts, and along the way I've made some friends, it's still a place where I share my stuff, and so, you know, I do have like random people just add me sometimes, and sometimes they

are, if they leave a message, or they leave a comment, and say, I really like that, and I like, okay, cool, but I'm not at my limit on Facebook anyway, I've still got quite a few, um, yeah, probably about 4,000, just under 4,000 friends in there, so it's not like I'm, it's not like I need the space, you know, and I'm followed by 112 people, wow, I'm just so popular, so I've got a couple of new ones, there's Kate Anthony, Anne, Nicole, Jucci, Kim, Vanessa, so we'll see, we'll see what happens, it'll be all right,

yeah, so that is it, I think for today, if I've bored you enough, yeah, so I'll speak to you later, remember to be kind to yourself, lots of love, bye.