#440 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (29th June 2020)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Please subscribe, maybe leave a comment, and share this podcast episode with your friends on social media. And if you'd like to, you can go to my website and leave a review. So that's it.

Also, all of the recordings for this podcast and all of my other podcasts are available on my website. That's it. Is there anything else to say? I don't know.

There must be. There must be. I don't know.

I'm still trying to turn off. So I'm on Facebook on my phone. And look, still it's making a clicking noise.

Must be able to turn that off. It's annoying. Sounds.

Keyboard clicks, that's turned off. Vibrate, reflections, ringtone, text tone. None.

New voicemail. I don't even get voicemails. I've got a lot of things set to vibrate for some reason.

So let's just have a look at Facebook. Facebook, location, notifications off, mobile data. I mean, there must be a way of turning that click, click, click, click off.

Because I didn't like it. I don't want it. I don't.

Honestly. I'm not just saying it for effect. If I turn mobile data off.

Current period, current period, Safari. I'll figure it out. It's not that important really, is it, I guess.

Some of you may be thinking, perhaps you should do that in your own time. Not in our time. Anyway, I hope you're well.

And I hope you're doing all right in it. And it's Monday, 29th of June, 2000 and something. 2020.

So I don't appear to have any messages whatsoever to read out. So that's, that's all right. Notifications, nothing at all.

If I have them, please find it within you to forgive me. Please. So I went out today.

Actually, it was a bit weird because I woke up early and I watched, what time did I go to bed? I went to bed about half one, I think. Maybe half two. I don't know.

It was quite early for me. And you could say, well, it's early in the morning, isn't it? Of course it's early. I mean, earlier than I normally go to bed.

I don't know. Well, yeah, same would be for me because I go to bed at 11. I went to bed at 2.30. That's very early.

No, earlier than I normally. Maybe later. So I went to bed, woke up.

Oh my God. This is, even I can't tolerate the boringness of this story that I'm about to tell. I went to bed and then I woke up.

Oh my God. I really need to get myself some kind of hobby. And then I went to the toilet and I aimed at the toilet.

And when I finished, I washed my hands. Yeah. And I had something to eat and I ate it.

Yeah. Yeah. Blimey.

So I made three recordings so far today, which I'm pleased with. I did a deep sleep spa and a relaxation hypnosis session, which was for sleep as well. Which is available.

So I put it on my relaxation for stress and anxiety, but also shared it on my sleep podcasts. So I have two versions of that, one with and without Muzak. And now I'm doing this one, which is always so exciting.

Oh yeah. And I went out earlier and I thought, I spoke to my brother on the phone for about an hour and 15 minutes. I sent him a book from Audible that I thought he'd like to listen to, but it didn't work.

And I ended up sending it a different route, different route, different way, using a different technique. And I'm not sure if he'll listen to it, but I think it might be motivating for him. And we had a chat and he told me what he was up to.

And I told him what I was up to. And we said goodbye. Yeah.

And then I went out to the shops and it was just to the local shop. I had to make sure that I got everything I needed for as cheap as possible until Thursday. Because on the 1st of this month, so not tomorrow, Tuesday, but Wednesday, a bunch of money goes out of my account for broadband, a TV license and the iPads and the telephone, all that stuff all goes out all at the same time.

So I don't think I've got enough money in there for that, but I needed to make sure that I have enough, you know, just to cover me for food and just the little bits until Thursday. So I go, I wait at the bus stop for the bus. Oh, this story is getting really, I'm on the edge of my seat, aren't you? Oh, where were you waiting for the bus? At the bus stop? Wow.

You're blowing my mind. And the bus turned up and I put my mask on. For those in the future, you know, 5, 10 years in the future listening to this, you may need to look into your history books to find out why I was wearing a mask on the bus.

And so I get on the bus, I got me little gloves, little white gloves that I wear whenever I go out. And I got me bags, they're carrier bags, but they're not plastic, they're made of material. Very much like what my nan used to use, I think, like kind of a quite old style.

Because in the old days, like, I don't know how far back we're going, but my nan, she didn't used to use carrier bags, she'd use proper bags with handles that could carry stuff in and they didn't break. And also they were comfortable to hold, because carrier bags, they're not comfortable on your little fingers, they hurt. But something with a substantial handle.

I love that term, that's a lovely term. That's going to be my, yeah, that's going to be the name of my life story. Substantial handle.

I just like that, those two words together. I'll also, here's something, if the restaurants ever actually do open again, when you eat, and if you're eating, well, you're going to be eating if you're in a restaurant, I'm guessing, and the waiter or waitress or waiting staff, I don't know what the correct term is, I don't care, interrupt you while you're talking to the person you're with. They say, oh, how is your food? Well, I say, I look at them and say, adequate, adequate.

And then they go away. Because I don't like being interrupted. And the thing is, I never go into nice restaurants.

You know, whenever I've been in a restaurant, it's just basically just like a little cafe or, you know, cheap restaurant. It's not, they're not like top class. I haven't been into a proper, really kind of, well, even then, I don't know if it was top class, but 2000 and, no, that's not right.

Actually, I have been in a restaurant with my friend in London. And it's still, it's got to be 10 years ago, maybe seven years, six years ago, five years, I don't know. Because my friend who owned the club, he used to go to, he used to take me for meals in some really nice restaurants.

That's one of the good things. It's very cultured. It's very lovely, really, I guess.

I know he doesn't, he'd hate to hear me say this, but he was, he kind of became sort of like a father figure to me, in a way. I know that he wants to be a, he thinks of his friend, not, because he doesn't, no one wants to be thought of as old, do they, not as someone, but I don't think of him as old, but just as someone that cared about me. Does that make sense? Yeah.

And he refused to adopt me. He said, you're 46. You can't adopt someone.

You can in America, I think. In America, you can, I think you can adopt people at any age, which I think is really cool. So if Bill Gates, if you're listening to me, if you're listening to this, I'd very happily be adopted by you.

Very happily. Very. I'm over.

Oh, I was about to say, I'd pretty much do anything, but, you know, I'll marry you if you want, I don't care. Bill, Billy, Billy Bob, I love you. Adequate.

I like that. I like that because it's, it's okay. The thing is, I don't go into restaurants where the food's going to be particularly good.

It's going to be okay. It's not going to be any better than someone that cooks regularly will cook, like a family meal. It's, which is lovely, you know, sort of like my dad's wife, my stepmom, she's a great cook.

So I've never been in a restaurant that cooked any better than she does. I'm not saying that, well, she's just a great cook. So maybe that's not a good comparison, but there's part of me sort of thinks, well, a restaurant should be at a higher level.

But then if something's tasty, it's tasty in there, I suppose. Now my stepmom doesn't like the word adequate. How was the food, everyone? How was, how was Christmas dinner? Everyone's going, oh, it was lovely.

That was lovely, mum. That was lovely. Oh, it was lovely.

You see my little voice. Adequate. Oh, dear.

I wouldn't even dare lie to my dad. If I did that, my dad would get such a telling off. So the reason I used to say actually, because I asked this lady out in this restaurant place I used to go into, it wasn't really a restaurant.

They sold food. It was a restaurant, but you know, it was kind of like a, it was like an art gallery, but with food. Of course, I didn't go there for the art.

Come on, really? Me? Culture? The only culture I ever see, this was under my toenails. So, and maybe other places, I don't know. But yeah, I asked her out and she said no.

But for some reason, I kind of didn't care, which is weird. I don't know. And I carried on going in there anyway.

And the reason I went in there is because they sold vegetarian food. And most of the people that I was meeting were Buddhists. And they ate vegetarian food.

And when I'm with a Buddhist, I eat vegetarian food. The same way as if I was with a Muslim, I would eat the food that they were eating. Or if I was with a Sikh or a Hindu, Hindus are vegetarians.

Or if I was in Germany, I'd eat sausages. I'm sure Germany, it's not always sausages, but I'd love to go to Germany. I feel that Germany, I think it's really weird.

I don't know why. I don't really have a negative view about races of people, like countries. I think they're all quite interesting.

Possibly, in my mind, I've also got a kind of theory or kind of feeling that other countries seem to be a bit more, I don't think intellectual is the right word. I don't want to put down my own country, obviously, because I live here. And I suppose I do love here.

This is my womb, isn't it really? And next door is my bedroom. I don't know, I'm tickling myself with some stupid, stupid childish humour today. This is my living room.

But the country you're born in, it's like your womb, isn't it? It's like you move from the human womb into a much, what on earth am I talking about? You can't live, I think it's impossible to be somewhere for 49 years or 32 years or 15 years, whatever, that amount of time, and to not feel connected to where you are. I imagine it would be very, very difficult. I mean, I don't know, I may be wrong.

But I feel connected to here, to this country, to England. And I say England because my friend, I've got a friend who gets annoyed when I say England. He said, no one else calls England but you, Nazi.

I said, I'm not a Nazi. But I know people from Scotland and from Wales that want to be referred to as from Scotland and from Wales. So I just say England because it is a different country and people in Scotland and people in Wales class it as a different country to theirs.

So I respect that. So there. So it's got nothing to do with pride.

How can you be proud about being born somewhere? I had nothing to do with it. I'm so proud to be English or British. Why? What have you done? What have you contributed towards you being born here? Nothing.

You were born here. That's it. You had no choice in the matter.

That's different from loving your country, I think. I don't know. Do I love it? I didn't used to.

When I was younger, I was like, I want to get out of this country. But I think part of that was because I was living in a tiny little town, which is very backward in some ways. It was still in the 1970s or 50s.

I think it still is a little bit, but at the same time, it's quite a safe place. And it's a very, I suppose if you went back to the 50s or the 40s or the 30s or anywhere in England, that's kind of what, not anywhere, but like little towns, that looks like one of those towns. And it still kind of does.

So I didn't really, I don't know, because I moved there after having moved around a bit. So I wasn't born there. I was born in North London.

And then I moved to Newcastle. I think I slept around for a bit when I was a kid. Moved about.

But I was too young to really know where I was, if that makes sense. I have like vague memories. But I definitely remember Newcastle and living on a rough housing estate.

Again, at the time, I didn't really think of it as rough because I didn't know any different. It was just, you know, it was a housing estate with loads of kids being naughty, I guess. And that's probably no different to anywhere else in the world, probably.

So we had fun. I did. I'll be honest, not when I was at home, but when I was outside, I did.

And I lived in a few different places in Newcastle as well. And then I moved into a children's home in Newcastle. But I was living with, in the children's home, I was living with people from different places, you know, they weren't all typical English people, whatever a typical English person is.

But I was living with people, orphans from all over the country, really, I guess, possibly even the world. That sort of ended up there. So I think my horizons were a little bit broader than the, probably than my own parents, in some ways.

Of course, I had more experience because I was a lot older. But in some ways, I think because I've been to different places, more places than my parents have been, I had more of a broader outlook, I suppose, in a sense. I sort of seen things that they'd never seen.

And, yeah, I was pretty much the adult. I was only six. I was the adult.

And, hmm, isn't that interesting? No. And then I moved to this little town. And everything's so small.

And so I'm very kind of limited and very, yes, a little bit backward, not backward intellectually, but backward in perhaps socially, you know, using terms, you know, verbal language that wasn't really used anymore. Definitely not now. It might not be that way anymore.

But I don't know, it's very, very strange place. And I couldn't wait to get out of there. Genuinely, I got out the first opportunity.

I moved when I was 18 or something, or just turned 19, came back again for a little while, then moved away for good. I never went back. So I moved away when I was 20 again.

So I moved back for about between April and December 1990. So I turned 20 in August 1990. And in January, right at the beginning of January, after Christmas, well, after New Year, I moved to London.

And I'd already been there the previous year, the previous Christmas, in fact, from September to April. And I wanted to, my aim was, I got there and I found a room and I was going to work in the same place that I used to work when I was there previously. But it didn't work out.

But it did work out in the same, well, I'm here and I, you know, what was I 20 then? So it's 29 years ago. So you could say, in a sense, everything has worked out. Kind of.

So, yeah, you know, yeah, I suppose this is a, this is a kind of a positive outlook on my age now. Well, yeah, I moved to London to, I didn't, well, I did accomplish what I set out for, because I set out to be a stand-up comedian, and I was. I didn't set out to be successful, because I had no, I had no sense of self-worth or belief.

I didn't believe in myself at all. But I wanted to do it. So I did it.

So I didn't have the fear, you know, standing in front of an audience of people I'd never met before. I didn't, I had nerves, it's just standard, but I wasn't scared to do it. I did it hundreds and hundreds of times.

And so for me, I accomplished what I set out to do. Because once you've been on stage, I think I did over 250 performances, or performances, gigs, whatever you want to call it, which isn't a huge amount. Some professional comedians would do that in a year.

It took me years to do that amount, sort of seven years or something. But still, 250 times, I think it's quite cool. And I did log them.

I kept a track of every single gig I ever did. Lost it now, but I had diary after diary, years and years worth of diaries, and I'd write down how it went and all that stuff. I was quite organized, actually.

I even kept the train tickets for each gig. And I did get paid. Not all the time, but I did.

So I was a semi-professional stand-up comedian, I would say, because I did get paid. There was a couple of people, a couple of my three, four clubs that paid me to go and do gigs. And one of the people that did that, she had a few clubs, and my other friend had a few clubs as well.

So he just booked me for whatever one he had going. So is that semi-professional? Because I wasn't doing it for a living. But I remember the most I ever earned was at the... I forget the name of the place.

It was in Greenwich, I think. Malcolm Hardy was the compere. And let me get the... I'm going to get the name of the comedy club for you.

Ooh, I've just seen something there. Wow. Rihanna has updated her picture.

I don't know what that... I'm just going to put... yep. Thanks. Yeah.

Stop clicking my phone. Stop it. It doesn't do it for any of my other apps.

Okay. Malcolm Hardy. Let me have a look.

Malcolm... Malcolm Hardy. So Malcolm Hardy, he had the comedy club. What did he have? Clubs.

Okay. The tunnel club. That's not the one.

Anyway, maybe it was a tunnel club. No, it was a tunnel club was the one he had before. And it's really rowdy.

And then it got changed. And he started a new one. And he used to open up and he'd start by going, oh, you all right? And he'd just tell jokes.

And the audience loved him, absolutely loved him. And I did an open spot, which was a free gig, and it went quite well. And he gave me a paid gig for, I think it was 10 minutes or 15 minutes, something like that.

That didn't go so well. And that was like a few months later, didn't go as well as I wanted it to. But he gave me 50 quid.

I got paid 50. That's the most I ever got paid, I think, at any of my gigs. And the thing is, he did... What was he doing? I think he actually... I was doing a gig, I think, and they were laughing.

And I thought it was going really well. And then I looked over, I realized that Malcolm Hardy was peeing into a bucket at the side of the stage. Like, we were off the stage, and they were just laughing at him doing that, which was a very strange thing.

I had never experienced such a reaction before. I thought, wow, I'm doing really well here. Why aren't they looking at me? And what's that sound? And yeah, there's Malcolm Hardy on the side of the stage, or just off the stage at the side, wee-weeing into a big metal bucket.

Not a plastic one, but a metal one. Yep. But yeah, I got money out of that, so it was good.

So is that semi-professional, if you get paid? Don't earn your living out of it, but you get paid. Is it semi-professional? Is it? I'm not sure. I don't know.

It's got to be something, hasn't it? It's got to be something. So yeah, that was a success, but not, you know. I remember I used to say about the podcasts and the videos and all this free hypnosis service that I've been doing forever.

I remember saying years ago, I'm probably the most successful failure ever, because just on some level it's really, really successful. It's grown and grown over the years, but in another way. And I'm still emptying my piggy bank, trying to find enough money to buy some milk.

So on different levels, you could say it's successful, but maybe not so much. There's different ways of judging success, I think. I like to look on the positive.

In fact, I think looking on the positive side is a necessity. It's not even an option, really. It's a necessity.

It's needed. It's the way to get through. It's the way to move forward in life.

Yeah. I put a lot of time focusing on more positive stuff over the last, probably the last few months. Well, this year, probably, let's say, maybe the last six months, I don't know, but maybe the last 10 years, 20 years, for a while anyway, the last few hours.

And it's weird how it all comes together. The hypnosis, the Buddhism, NLP, philosophy, psychology, the web design, and various other things that I've kind of been interested in, all kind of come together. To sort of, oh, these bits actually connect.

It's not separate. So it might be different, but it also does connect. There's a little slit that you can fit into.

A slit that you can slot into. And yeah, I quite like that. It makes things a little bit more interesting.

Dear Jason, I listened to your recording last night. What on earth were you talking about? Slit in the slot, in the slit in the slot. Most successful failure.

What are you on about? I don't know. Just talking. Just rambling on.

Thinking about stuff. P.S. Can you just please tell us about Andre? It's what we really want to know. Oh, okay.

Andre. Last night, Andre, I took him for a walk and he cut his foot open again, grazed it open. So I brought him back and he still insists on going out today.

So I took him out about an hour ago and made sure he only stayed on the grass. He doesn't like that. He doesn't like being told what to do.

Who does? Apart from those that do, I guess. But he enjoyed being outside and he didn't hurt his foot. And every five minutes or so, I'd pick him up just to check his foot was okay.

And it was. So I'll take him out again tomorrow. Make sure he just stays on the grass.

He's still limping, but I don't know. I watch him and he seems to be, I can't really work out where he is with this. He seems fine, but he's still got a limp.

But it's nowhere how it was before. I'm not talking about the sedation. Before you went to the vets, he was falling over.

He's not doing that anymore. So I'm hoping that that is a sign that it's healing. And by him going out for a walk, that's good for his mental health.

He longs to go outside. What a lovely time for a bird to start tweeting. Can you hear that? It's half past nine in the evening.

And it's good for his mental health to get out. And he loves it. I can see the, I don't know, for me, I see pleasure on his face.

And the sniffing, all the different smells and rubbing in the grass. And the exercise is good for him as well, although I'm sure he's not really interested in exercise, but he just loves being outside. So I can't stop him.

I can, but I don't want to, because I don't think it would be good for him mentally to be stuck inside and never go out, even if it meant that's the right thing to do for his leg. And if it was the only way for him to heal, then I'd do it. But I can't, it's still going to be running around here.

So I figured that he wouldn't be using it if it was hurting him. But again, I don't know. I'm giving him massages and at least once a day stretching both of the legs out at the same time to sort of maneuver them so they're both doing the same thing.

And I found out he doesn't like doing the splits, so I've stopped doing that. He doesn't like yoga apparently, but it's a bit weird with him because he's so, I don't know what the right word is, but he just likes it. He doesn't like to just stay doing one thing.

He's always wants to do the next thing, noticing, oh, what's that, what's that? And he wants to get off. So I'll cuddle him sometimes and fall asleep cuddling. Sometimes he wants a cuddle, but I think it's, he wants a cuddle, but he doesn't want it to last very long.

He's really, I think you could say he's an unattentive cuddler. He just uses me for his own needs. So he'll jump onto the chair, jump on my lap, rub himself all over me, rub his face into my beard and give me kisses and I'll hug him.

And then a minute later, he sort of shouted, get off me, get off me. Stop it. Help, help.

Stranger danger, stranger danger. I'm like, Andre, just calm down. Get off if you need to get off.

You don't have to make such a fuss. He's just so rude. It's amazing.

So he seems to be doing all right. Seems to be doing all right. And I'm constantly keeping an eye on him, checking his foot, observing him as he's walking around and stuff.

He's having no problems going to the toilet, no problems eating, no problems drinking, no problems sleeping. He can now get onto my black squeaky falling apart chair again. He can get on there fairly easily.

He can get onto my bed again. So when he goes to get onto my bed, for example, he has to jump. And then he grabs with his hands and then he uses his feet to push himself up.

Now he couldn't do it before because he only had one foot that was working. So it must be work. In fact, it does because last week, it's nearly a week since I took him to have the X-ray.

And it's two weeks since I took him to have the first examination. And it's nearly three weeks since he first injured himself, if that's what he's done. It'll be three weeks, not tomorrow, but the day after.

And I've got no idea why I'm mentioning that. For some reason, I want to discuss the timeline of this whole adventure. I don't even know why.

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? I don't know. I didn't know why. So what I'm thinking of doing, and this is probably not the best time to discuss this, because some people have drifted off to sleep, who bore them, are listening to me talking about anything at all.

I'd like to start, during some of these recordings, to talk about some really nice news stories from around the world. Now, it might not seem as if that's even possible to find nice ones, but they must be out there. But it doesn't have to be a nice, it doesn't have to be a news story.

It could be a story that you've heard, or that you've experienced recently. Maybe something that's happened to you that's really nice, or something that happened to a neighbor, or family member, or something that you've done to help someone else, or something that someone else has done to help you. Just something really positive and nice, and maybe send me that story to my Facebook page, or via my website.

Or if you see a news article on the internet that you think is funny, or light-hearted, or inspirational, perhaps send me the link, and I'll look through it and I'll read it out. Because I think it'd be nice to start to, you know, there's so many wonderful things happening around the world, it's just we don't get to hear about them. Because newspapers, and television news, radio news, internets, whatever, a whole lot of them don't seem to want to talk about nice things.

But there are huge amounts of wonderful things happening. So maybe we could share it, and I could talk about it on here. And I can imagine that could be like a separate podcast, but I thought, no, why not just do it here? It doesn't mean that I've got to spend the entire time of every recording talking about them, but I can do, you know, maybe one or two stories on each episode, possibly.

I don't know, what do you think? Do you think that's an amazing idea? Or is it just... I don't know. I can't second guess. I can't even first guess.

I can't even guess what you're thinking. I can't read minds. No.

Nobody can. Nobody can. Nobody can.

Nobody can read minds. Even though they think they can, but they can't. No, no, no, no.

I'm also thinking of writing some poems. Some poems. But I don't know.

Because I used to, and I'm thinking, perhaps I should. I might write some poems, but only read them out on this podcast. So just, I don't know, just do a few new things, a few different things, and see where it goes.

Because this ultimately is kind of an experimental forum for experimentation-y stuff, possibly. So yeah, I just thought that might be useful. Of course, there's shout-outs.

I'm happy to say hello to people. I'm happy to read Happy Birthday to anyone that's got a birthday coming up. I suppose it makes sense, or it would be easier if I had like a specific place that you could post your comments all in one place, and then I could read it out.

So technically, what would make sense, really, would be for everybody to go to my Facebook Let Me Boyd to Sleep page. So everyone that listens to this podcast, if you go there, that way you can send me anything you want me to read out, birthdays, anything you want me, like a link to a website that might be funny or inspiring. Or if you've got your own website or your own business, tell me about it, and I can talk about it.

I can look at your website and tell people. For example, if you made masks, you know, face coverings, which had ladybird designs, or maybe they were made out of compost. You know, just saying, if it's like a ... compost face mask.

See, someone said, well, it's a face mask. It's fine, because it cleans your skin. No, not that type of face mask.

Wow. So it'd be CPPA, wouldn't it? Compost Personal Protective Equipment. Wow.

Mind you, you'd make a funny face, but then no one would be able to see it anyway, would they? That was just an example. You might be an inventor, and you want to tell me about an invention, and I can tell people about it. This podcast, basically, you see what happens.

If I just talk about myself, I will just ramble on about nothing for an hour, at least. Easily, every day, for the rest of my life, I could do this. It's not hard for me to do this, just rambling on about nothing.

I was born to do this. Here's this thing in the world. I don't know if I'd be able to do it if there was people watching.

Doing it live, as well, is a little bit more ... I could do it live. The only problem is if ... and I can. I can actually ... I could broadcast up to five hours, I think, live, as many times as I want.

The problem with that is, or if I say something wrong, because I can't edit it, or if I start coughing, or I start ... I can't edit anything. Once it's said, it's said. So, at least with ... to be fair, I don't really edit anything I say, anyway.

That's true, yeah. Perhaps I should. Maybe I'd have an audience if I did.

Instead of three people, I might have 12. 12 people listening. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Yeah, so you can be part of this. This is your podcast. The relaxation hypnosis for stress and anxiety, and the deep sleep whisper hypnosis, sleep hypnosis weekly, all that stuff is hypnosis-y stuff, you know? It's not like serious, serious, but it's still focused.

This is not focused. This podcast is not focused. And it's for you.

So, wherever you're listening to this, and if you like the Let Me Bore You To Sleep stuff that I do, go to my Facebook page, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, and give me something to talk about, about you. Tell me something about your story. I might not read it out.

I might not read all of it out. I might make it up. But anyway, and remember, it's not serious.

This podcast is not a serious forum. If you want serious, you can go elsewhere. There's loads of serious stuff all over the place.

That's why with the news, I want the light-hearted stuff, nice stuff, funny stuff, warm-hearted, kind stuff. If you want horrible stuff, just watch the news. You don't need to listen to me for that.

That's why I don't talk about the reason for wearing the masks and stuff on buses, because that's all that's in the news all the time. That's why I don't really talk about it. I talk about having to wear a mask because that's what's going on.

I like to just keep things random, I suppose, a little bit. Nothing has any meaning, does it, really, in these recordings. There's not a lot of meaning to it.

There's not much substance, I guess, which is just how I like it. I'm a very shallow person, and I have... Yeah, very shallow, very shallow, sometimes. But it's just about having some fun, and you can be part of that.

You're already part of it by listening. If you listen regularly, you know that I do do shout-outs sometimes, because maybe someone's given me a lovely PayPal gift, or sent me something from my wish list, or something like that. Or they said something nice, sent me a nice comment, and I'll read it out.

But I also do read out messages that people ask me to read out, like birthday wishes and things like that. And I'm happy to do that with every recording. So when it comes to birthday wishes, I'll try and read them out at the beginning of the recording.

And maybe what I can do, if I remember, is perhaps put in the podcast notes, or the information I could put, Happy Birthday, Boris, or whoever, as part of it. I don't know. I can't really put it in the title, because the title is long enough as it is.

So yeah, we'll see. Just let me know. It's not that I want you to join my Facebook page to let me bore you to sleep, because it's up to you.

But it seems like the way things are now, instead of sending messages from Twitter, or going to my website, all that stuff, if everything's just in one place, or leaving messages on my other Facebook pages, so if everything's just on the Let Me Bore You To Sleep page, Facebook page, any birthday wishes or any links to websites or pages or newspaper articles that are humorous or really uplifting stuff, that's what I'm looking for. Nice, nice articles. I'm going to be searching myself as well, so I'm not just going to leave all the work to you.

I will be searching myself, and I intend to read at least one out every recording, maybe more. Which might make the recording longer, because I still need to talk about myself, how important that is. Andre's snoring.

That little boy, I swear I fall in love with him every day. Just hearing him making these weird noises. And I go, and I pick sometimes, I think, oh, is he all right? And I pick him up.

And I say, Andre, are you okay? And he looks at me. Leave me alone. I'm trying to sleep, Daddy.

Stranger danger, stranger danger. Stop with that, stop it. He runs away giggling.

Stranger danger, stranger danger. He's such a little monkey. But he's asleep.

That's all. So he's fine. He's an amazing little boy, he really is.

Anyway, I'm going to go. So I want to thank you for listening. And remember to be kind to yourself.

You can fill in the rest, you know what I'm going to say. Because bananas are curvy. Ah, see, you didn't know I was going to say that.

Remember to be kind to yourself, because you do deserve to be happy. And you do. And the more I say it, the more I think about it, the more I realize that actually being kind to yourself is probably the best damn thing that you could ever do for yourself.

Seriously, I think just being kind to yourself, giving yourself a break. I'm talking mentally, I'm talking about what things do you say to yourself. So I'm not going to try and get into therapy on this podcast, but really, it's so important.

And if you're going to listen to my podcast, these podcasts, you need to join me on this journey of more self-acceptance, being nicer to yourself, because you deserve it. Okay? Anyway, lots of love, and I'll speak to you tomorrow. Kisses and hugs from Andre, and maybe a little hug from me as well.

Bye.