#429 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (14th June 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Yeah. Hello. Hello.

So I'd just like to say, I want to say a big thank you to all the lovely messages I've had for Andre. Or rather Andre would like to say a big thank you to all the lovely messages that you've sent to him. He's, yeah, he's enjoying the attention.

So he's literally just got up and he's gone back to sleep again. He's, although he's got his, you know, issues at the moment with his leg. Why do people have cars that sound that loud? Why? You might not have heard that in the background.

Anyway, I'll stop moaning. He, he seems really okay in himself. He doesn't really seem any different other than, I don't know, it doesn't seem like he's even frustrated by the lack of movement and not being able to do, well, he is able to do everything he did before.

It just, it's, you know, it's not in the same way. And I quite like to learn from him in a sense of, you know, don't let anything get in your way. He literally doesn't let anything stop him from doing what he wants to do.

You know, if there's a door, I mean, it's literally, if a door closes, he doesn't wait for another one to open. He goes, he goes through that door. And he's determined.

I mean, he can't physically do it generally, because it's made of wood. But give enough time, he'd get through it. You know, he'd scratch and scratch and rip the door open.

Eventually, he would find a way out of that room. You know, it might take a few months, as long as he had food and stuff. But he would, you know, he'd rip a hole in the wooden door to get through eventually.

So he's very determined to be able to have that determination to keep going regardless of what's going on. I think it's quite an amazing personality trait. And I know that some people that don't perhaps think that animals have personalities, anyone that lives with an animal knows that they do.

And they're not all the same. You know, you can have 100 different dogs. And each dog is going to have a different personality.

You know, of course, they've got stuff in common, they'll lick themselves and they bark and they go to sleep. And maybe they move their legs when they're dreaming, you know, that kind of stuff. But they've got their own personalities.

You can see in their eyes, their behavior, the caringness. I know that Andre is not a dog. And he hasn't got a huge amount of that caringness.

He's very selfish. But he is also really loving as well when he does hug me, kiss me and stuff. And so yeah, anyway, that's enough of him.

This is about me, me. This is not Andre's podcast, it's my podcast. He gets all the attention.

It's not fair. So I've got a few messages that I'll quickly read out. One is an important one, which is a birthday wishes.

I've just got to try and remember where it is. It might be on Instagram. It might be on Instagram.

It's from Nadia or Nadia. I know, I've read that out already. So let me have a look.

Maybe it's on. I will find it eventually. So messages, message inbox.

And okay, so Vanessa. How's baby Andre doing with his legs? I did reply to that. Hi, Vanessa.

Unless that's the same, the same person. Yes, it is. So Vanessa, I found you.

And relax. So Vanessa says, my birthday is on June the 14th, which is today. Can you say happy birthday to me? I listen every night.

Love you. Send my love from Nova Scotia, Canada. No, I can't wish you a happy birthday.

Not going to, can't make me. You can't make me do anything. Yeah.

Happy birthday, Vanessa. Happy, I was going to say happy 14th, but that's the date, isn't it? Happy birthday. Happy birthday to Vanessa.

Happy birthday to Vanessa. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to Vanessa.

So that's it. Happy birthday from me and Andre and I'm sure everybody listening. Hope you have a lovely day.

Yep. So that's that message. This is from Brad.

I sent this last night. Hey, Jason, feel free to read this on your pod if you want to, but I'm not looking for recognition. If it comes to the point that Andre needs something, I'm more than happy to send a few dollars, Canadian, LOL, to help you out.

That's very kind of you, Brad. Thank you very much. I think the only reason I read it out is because you said, feel free to read it on the pod.

So that's what I've done. Thank you. That's very kind.

I've had a few people who have said that to me, and it's got a lot of love, hasn't it, Andre? It's weird. Maybe not weird. It's not the right word, but annoying.

Everyone loves him. What about me? I'm very jealous of him. So Kerry sent a message.

Thanks for the shout out. I heard it. The rest didn't.

Fell asleep. How is Andre doing? Poor thing. So worried about him.

Thank you. He's all right. I'm getting bored of it now.

He's all right. I'm annoyed at all the attention he's getting. Vanessa said today, how's baby Andre doing with his legs? And I just wrote back, hi, he's still the same.

See him vet tomorrow. Well, actually, I wrote bet. I meant vet, but not a veteran, a veterinarian.

We'll find out. Blimey. I didn't write this.

Hi, he's still the same. See him vet tomorrow morning. We'll find out.

HTV, hen. What's wrong with him? Hope it's something easy to correct. Wow.

I'm not great at that, am I? Some of those messages. What other ones have I got? I don't get many messages on Let Me Bore You To Sleep Facebook page, but I think I do got one. I do got one.

I've already read that one. That's from Nicole, Ali, Ali. So yeah, I did that one.

I said Ali. So I did read those ones out. So yeah, I've got a Facebook page from the Let Me Bore You To Sleep if you want to join it.

I suppose the only benefit that I can see between joining that one is that the only things I post on there are the latest Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings, other than the odd video of Andre, or the odd picture of Andre. Other than that, I only post the Let Me Bore You To Sleep recordings. So I don't post the latest deep sleep whisper or the latest relaxation for stress and anxiety or the latest sleep hypnosis weekly.

So it's specific, which I think is quite handy sometimes. But I am kind of fairly easy to find, I would say. And I've also got the two new websites, and the links on my main website, jasonnewland.com. And I've now changed the inner menu, I've changed what it says.

So there's the Jason Newland podcast.com. And then brackets, I put no ads in brackets. So you know that that all my stuff on there was without without any adverts. And below that, I've got the LMBYTS.

Let me bore you to LMBYTS.com. And I've just put down that's the boring, all boring recordings with no ads. Although I'm only up to 50, I've only put 50 on there so far. So there's quite a few to do, it's going to take a couple of days, maybe a few days.

I can't just sit at a laptop. When it works, the laptop shuts down at least once a day, that's on a good day. Sometimes three times a day, it just freezes.

So I'm not quite sure what to do because the iPad doesn't doesn't offer the same stuff. There's a limitation with apps, as opposed to using a website. And I guess maybe the limitations is myself, I'm putting those limitations and just need to open my mind a bit to learn some new stuff, which I will be doing.

It's just, I'm so used to using laptops, been using them for 15, 16 years. 15, yeah, I forgot my first laptop. I don't know, I reckon probably 2004, 2005.

No, 2004, I reckon. 2004. So yes, 15, 16 years, I've been using laptops.

And it's just weird to kind of to move away from it. I mean, my iPad's got a keyboard that I can connect to it so it can be used like a laptop. That was the whole point of it.

So I could start using that and start to use that instead of the laptop, instead of waiting for the laptop to just completely break. But we'll see. We'll see.

We'll see. It's not really my focus of attention at this moment, if I'm honest. Also, I've had a lot of mess.

I won't. Should I read them out? I suppose I should read them out really, shouldn't I? I'll read them out. So I posted a little video of Andre and he was on my lap and I was just stroking him and did a little bit of hypnosis on him as well.

So he was just there, laying there motionless, twitching one of his hands. And I've had a few messages from people. So for example, Rihanna, oh, my little friend, I think somebody's needing a visit to the vets.

So thank you. Ramadasa says, adorable. Thank you.

Kay says, what's happened? I've been off the phone for a few days and saw yesterday's video of his legs not working. So I posted another video of him walking along in the garden while dragging himself along. I just replied, his back legs stopped working three days ago.

Got a vet's appointment tomorrow. Should know then what it is. But he does seem okay within himself emotionally.

Barangary says, speedy recovery, Andre. Thank you, Barangary. RB, thank you.

Annika says, oh, he's so lush. Hope his legs get better. Thank you, Annika.

And thank you for your PayPal gift. Thank you very much. Much appreciated.

And so that's the messages there. The thing is, because I posted the same video on different different Facebook pages, I've had, oh, maybe I didn't. I thought I did.

So Jason Newland's hypnosis. I know I did, but I'll post his stuff afterwards, I said. And so I got one comment.

OMG, he is cute. That's from Kerry. I've got to agree with you.

Well, not always. Not always. So that video has been watched 137 times.

So I know it's hardly millions and millions, but it's still nice that people like watching him. And I've got another comment here from Sarah. I can't contain my smiles.

That nose, those feet, just adorable. So I'll send a little kiss there. Thanks, Sarah.

He has got a cute nose and his feet is where everything about. He's just the cutest little thing. It's a bit weird at the moment because I have to wipe him.

I have to wipe his bum because he basically can't hold both of his legs up in the air. He never used to hold his legs up in the air. That sounds weird, doesn't it? He can't push both his legs up to do what he normally does and then sort of run away, leaving it there, giggling.

So now he ends up sometimes falling in it. And it's not his fault. If he did that all the time, I'd probably got rid of him years ago.

I'm not really into sort of cleaning his bum, but he's unwell, so I do it. And he's so clean. He's such a clean boy, really is.

But he's not able to do some of that stuff himself. So I do. I'm wiping his bum off about three times a day, just to sort of clean him off.

Most of the time, he's fine. But I check him every few hours just to make sure. And it's really weird, because technically, it's sort of disgusting.

But for some reason, I don't care. It does not bother me at all. And I've never really had a strong constitution for that kind of stuff.

But for him, just, yeah, it's weird. But yeah, so that's the only thing that's really...that worries me, in a sense of how's he coping with that? And the only reason is because my friends, he had a ferret. And his ferret went through the same thing as Andre.

His back legs went. And he died. He was dead within about four months.

He just gradually got weaker and weaker. And he's still determined to get where he wanted to go. But he was a bit snappy, a bit irritable.

He's sort of a bit of incontinent. So he was eating, and he'd be going to the toilet at the same time. He's just old age, I guess, or whatever it was.

But he was about six or seven, about seven. And Andre's only five. So I'm hoping it's not that or whatever he had.

But I'll clean up after him all day long, if I need to. In fact, what I was thinking of doing is, I've got a friend who's a nurse, and she deals with really premature babies. So what I thought about getting some of those, we call them nappies in the UK, but diapers or whatever, but like tiny little ones that I can put on Andre, if it comes to it.

So then I can take him out. So I'm not getting covered in it. Because he's still going to want to go out.

He's still going to want to roll around on the grass and stuff. I can't take that away from him. I'm not letting him out today, because he injured his back leg.

He actually scraped it, because he's dragging it along. I think he might have maybe caught it on some glass or something, because it was bleeding. And I'm not allowing him to go out today.

He's going to be annoyed with me. But he's going to go out tomorrow. And he'll probably be even more annoyed with me, because he's going to be in the vets with a complete stranger, and I'll be outside.

And he won't know what's going on. And one of my worries, and that's probably me being a bit creative with my concerns. But because of the way they're doing it, they're not allowing me into the vets.

They're not allowing me into the building or anywhere else, other than the staff. I don't completely understand it, because it doesn't really make sense. But anyway, and to me, I'll explain that in a minute.

And I'm thinking, they come out and say, oh, it's going to be 300 pounds. He needs to have a splint, or he needs to have the leg reset, or he needs to have x-rays, blood tests, and all that kind of stuff. He needs to come back again, or we need to keep him in for a few days.

And the bill could just go, it could be like rise dramatically. And I'm going to have to say no to those things. So if they keep him in, they charge, proper charge, a lot of money for keeping him in.

And okay, blood test, x-ray, fair enough. They're the things that I'm going to, if he's got a broken bone or something, of course, he needs to have an x-ray to see what's going on with the leg, and a blood test to see if he's got anything, if there's something there that needs to be dealt with. But there's a little bit of me that's thinking, what if they keep him, hold him hostage? Okay, I'll explain it before you think I'm being dramatic.

I am being dramatic. But what if I say, right, I've got the 34 pound that you need or whatever for the appointment, but I don't have the money. I don't have it yet.

I'll get all of it. I'll sell everything I've got if I have to. But I've got a lot.

I should be able to raise about 40 pound. And who wants to buy my underwear? I'll do a little yard sale, my old socks. And what if they don't let me in? Well, they say, no, you can't have him.

We can't have him. We're not going to let you have him until you've paid the bill. Because technically, if I'm outside the building, they're not going to get away with it while I'm in the building, because I'll just go into the office and get him.

But if I'm outside the building, it's like, oh, so yeah, just things like that kind of go through my mind. I know it's a little bit dramatic. It's more than a little bit dramatic.

But then I also think, if I had a two year old child in a hospital, take him to the doctors. So you're saying that a doctor would just take the two year old child on their own and examine the two year old child, and that two year old child is not able to explain what's going on with them. Or the one year old child's not verbally been able to explain what it is.

So you need the adult there to explain the situation. Vomiting or falling over or whatever it might be. Yeah, I'm supposed to let him, and I spend 24 hours a day with him, you know, pretty much.

I know what he does. I know his behavior, and I know how this is affecting him, like physically anyway. And also I know that it doesn't seem to be affecting him, his appetite, or his determination to still annoy me.

He's knocking stuff off the table and getting onto my chair, and nothing's stopping him from doing anything else. So that's something I'd like to portray. And I want to be there to hold his hand emotionally, or to just touch him, stroke him, so he can see me while he's being examined.

And I'm not allowed to. And I kind of don't, I do understand it on one level, but, you know, from the old, go keep your distance, and all that stuff. But can't they, I just thought they would have been able to organize something, sort of like a little plastic partition or something where, you know, I had to wear a visor, or, you know, and just, and I could talk to the person, to the vet, while he was examining him.

It's guaranteed. If you take a child to the doctor, you have to go there with them, for lots of different reasons. You can't allow a doctor to sit to examine a small child on their own.

I think that's even against the law. You have to be present. An adult has to be present.

Anyway, I'm just moaning, I'll stop moaning. Yes, half an hour of fun. What great stuff.

Yeah, I think we'll stop listening to you. So adorable, says Darlene. Thank you.

So I'll put a little love heart. Thank you, Darlene. Darlene.

Oh, what? So I'm just looking at a video. So a friend of mine has been to a wedding. And if I'm correct, that looks like it might be a David there on the right hand side.

Oh, I realize I shouldn't perhaps be watching a video while I'm talking to you, but I am. So there you go. There you go.

Yes. So what I thought I'd do today. After an hour of chatting about nothing, what I thought I'd do today is this.

I thought that I would say, Andre, are you alright mate? He makes the weirdest noises. Normally I just, well, sometimes I do wake him up. Not now, I'm talking in the past.

Talking about in the future, talking about in the past. And I'll wake him up because I'm like, what's going on? Are you okay? And he looks at me like, why did you wake me up? Well, what's your problem? What's your problem, Daddy? Were you not aware that I was asleep? Asleep. Oh, you woke me up because I was making noises.

Is that right, Daddy? Yeah. Is that true? Yeah. Is that what you said? Have you hurt yourself? Why don't you try recording yourself? You like recording yourself.

Why don't you record yourself when you're asleep? You sound like an elephant giving birth. That's what you sound like, Daddy, when you're asleep. Sound like you're an elephant giving birth to a rhino.

That's what you sound like. Elephants can't give birth to rhinos, Andre. No, but they're similar animals, aren't they? But I'm just thinking about the big horn.

Oh, that would be painful. The big horn. Yeah, all right, Andre.

I was just waking up because I was concerned. Yeah, Mr. Concern. The only reason you're concerned is because you can talk about it on the podcast.

That's the only attention you ever get is because of me. Because I'm the star.Me, Andre, I'm the star.

You're just like a co-presenter at best. You're just like an extra. Andre, stop being so rude.

It's true. It's me that people care about. I'm the one everyone loves.

I'm the one with the cute nose and the cute little feet. I'm the one that RiRi loves, not you. You wish it was you, but it's not you.

It's me that she's going to cuddle up to herself. Not you.Me.

She loves me. Yeah, all right. I'm going to get cuddled up to them and you're not.

I'm going to snuggle up to them, but you're not. She loves me. She loves me.

She, she, she loves me. RiRi loves me. Yes, she do.

Indeed. Yeah, all right, Andre. Stop dancing.

Sometimes he starts tap dancing. Hasn't done it recently. So that's one of the benefits of him not being able to walk properly.

He stopped with his sarcastic tap dancing. Anyway. So, sure, everybody.

What I'm going to do is what I thought. If I can find the actual thing. Okay.

Nothing. Oh, yeah. I won't.

I've got some quite interesting things I'm going to be doing website wise in the future. But it's a plan. It's a plan, plan in progress, or in process.

And also I did a deep sleep whisper yesterday. I did a relaxation hypnosis for stress. Two versions, one with and without music.

So I did all that today earlier. So this is the fourth recording of the day, which is quite groovy. And I'm hoping, hoppy, hoppy, hoppy, that I can do a sleep hypnosis weekly today as well.

But it's going to be hit and miss due to being able to do it without Andre interrupting me. You know, he'll sit there for an hour or sleep there for hours. When I'm watching telly or I'm on the internet or doing something like that.

But the second I press record, and start recording something, he seems to just become awake. Very strange, very strange. Okay.

So let me have a look. I think I'll look at some. Oh, you know what I had? I had a message saying that my prescriptions ready to be collected.

And then I got a message where I got two missed calls from the doctors on Friday. And that's to do with my bus pass. So I'm just going to have to, tomorrow is going to be a busy, busy, busy morning.

Because it's all in the same area. Like as far as like physically in the same area. And so I might as well just go and get the stuff while I can.

So go to the chemist, go to the doctors, and then take Andre to his doctors. And I don't know. I don't know what's going to happen there.

But it'd be nice if I can get a chance to go into Iceland and get a pack of tea cakes. That would be groovy because something I haven't had for months from there. But probably can't.

Yeah, probably can't really be going in there with him. So yeah, that's a no no. Can't do that.

Yeah, I forgot about that. So yeah, I won't do that. But do the doctors.

Again, I don't know what the process is of going into the doctors. Am I allowed in there? You know what? I just don't know anymore. I don't know what's going on.

It's all these different rules and all these different things that each place has. So I've not been inside the doctors since the beginning of the year, I think it was. And I don't know about you, but my doctor has, my doctor surgery has a big touch screen, which you book in your appointment.

So to let them know you're there. A big touch screen. So everybody that enters the doctor's surgery touches this screen.

Let me think if there could be any problems with that idea. We still have it. And they're going to still continue to have it guaranteed.

Because anything that gives them less to do, they're going to want, aren't they? And we're definitely not spending time answering the phone. Because they don't answer when I phone, they don't answer. I don't know.

Have they got my telephone number blacklisted on there? I don't know. Anyway, the chemist, I don't know, or the pharmacy, I'm not sure what's going to happen there. I went there a month ago.

And a month, was it a month? Two months ago. Blimey. I think it is.

I think it's two months since I was last there. And there was people queuing. That wasn't two months ago.

It was about eight, seven weeks ago, six weeks ago. Because I went in there and one of my medications wasn't available. And then I had to go to a different place.

But they didn't have a proper queuing system. And it's not a big place. People are queuing, but then some people come in.

So you're queuing for the pharmacy section, the prescription section, the drug section. Some people come in because they want to buy tampons or deodorant or soap, or, you know, they're not in there for the pharmacy. They're in there just to buy some stuff, maybe some hair colouring.

I'm not going to go through every single item that the place sells, but there's a lot of stuff. Toothpaste, and face masks for people that like facials. And there is vitamins as well.

You've got lots of vitamins. It's good for your skin, isn't it? The facials, the vitamins. Although maybe the facials are good for your skin, I don't know.

Because I had a girlfriend said to me once that facials are good for her skin. But I don't know, maybe because it takes out the whatever the mud, because she used to use a mud pack. And I think it draws out the toxins from the skin.

So I don't think it's so much what it puts in. Although I think they might put moisture into the skin, some of the facials, facial masks. I've tried them myself.

I've had a few facials. You've got to be careful it doesn't go in your eye though. It stings like anything.

But I think the weirdest part of it is peeling it off. You know, because if you see it on the telly, it all seems to come off in one bit. And I wanted to get one of those masks, like the mud masks that come off, almost like a mask.

You know, you pull it off your face. And if you know you, I don't know, it's kind of look, it's a bit fairy tale kind of thinking about it. But the idea of pulling off my face and just looking so much more younger, and viriless.

But unfortunately, my mirror lied to me. And I only had one mirror. According to my mirror, I look the same.

I know I didn't. I knew that I look younger. But my mirror, I needed to get an updated mirror.

That's what it is. You need to get a new mirror, because those old mirrors, they just don't. Yeah, very negative mirror that is.

So just had a knock on the front door again. I edit that out. And I forgot what I was talking about.

I mean, genuinely forgotten completely what I was talking. Well, anyway, Andre's now awake. So I well, I didn't.

He's just, oh, he's gone back to lay down that he was jumping up on me when I guess he wants me to take. Well, I'm not guessing I know he wants me to take him outside. And I can't.

He'll have to wait till tomorrow. And then I'll be able to see what to do with him. One day.

Stop sneezing. One day. Stop sneezing.

One day. Yeah, one day without going out isn't going to be too bad for him. Plus, it's quite warm outside today.

So I don't think he'll enjoy it. Because he's wearing a fur coat. So it's a bit silly to do in the summer, but he insists on doing it.

So I wonder what's in the news. Should we have a look see what's in the news today. I got another message on my website.

It says product size or product dies associate as the message completely pointless. I started to wonder if it's the app that I use is called judge me judge.me. It's the app for my testimonials or what you want to call them. Reviews, I say reviews.

So you can leave a review on my website. And I think I don't know if it's them or someone else sells an app which prevents spam, or it's free, but you can have an add on that costs money premium. So I'm thinking Andre stopped sneezing.

He's got hay fever. I can't believe he's got hay fever. A ferret with hay fever.

That just doesn't make sense. Andre you alright mate? That's him. I think he's bored.

He's come out and he's looking around. What is it Andre? He's now digging at the carpet. Andre, what are you doing? Do you want to come and have a cuddles? Andre, do you want to have cuddles with daddy? He's having a good sniff of the carpet.

And now he's gone. He's now grabbed the slipper, his slipper, and shaking it around. And he looks like he's taking the position.

See what I mean when I say he's kind of okay within himself. He's still doing those things that he used to do. The only difference I think he's got, he struggles a little bit with that particular activity to just put it down.

I think it's maybe it's uncomfortable or he can't get quite the same position. I picked him up. I just hope that he's... Hello mate.

That's a weird noise. What are you making that weird noise for? Mind the microphone. Are you okay? You're a bit frustrated.

You want to do something don't you? You need a bit of action. You need a bit of activity. I know.

I know. There's nothing we can do at the moment. Just go away till tomorrow.

Find out how we can fix that leg of yours. And it might mean that you have to stay off the leg for a week or two while it heals. So what are you going to do then? I don't mind taking you out and holding you so you get all the nice air and the breeze and you get to smell all the flowers and all the trees.

But you probably won't be allowed to go on the ground. Because if you just laid there it'd be okay. But you don't do you? You have to walk around and have to go do some investigating don't you? To go and search around and see what's going on.

What's around that corner? What's under that tree? Hey? It's like a little private detective. A little furry private detective. Isn't it? Investigating the smells.

That's a loud car. Did you hear that? I don't know if you can hear him patting away. Lovely.

He did that right over the microphone. Didn't you? Didn't you? Yes you did. If I just hold you back like that on your back like in the video.

That's it. You can just be there nice and comfy. I can just play with your hands.

The palms of your hands. Yeah. Is that nice and comfortable for you? It's not for me because I'm pushing my nads together.

But is it nice for you? I've got my legs together. I'm pushing them together so he can well basically he doesn't fall on the ground really. Because falling on the ground isn't that comfortable is it? Oh.

Sometimes I forget that he's got this squeaky voice. Until he sneezes. He does a big high-pitched sneeze.

Don't you? I wonder why you're sneezing so much? Maybe I need to open the window. Let a bit more air in. But I have to have the window closed when I'm making a recording.

Just to minimise the background sound. Hello. Giving daddy a kiss kiss.

Give me a kiss kiss. You are the most beautiful boy in the world aren't you? Yes you are. Yes you are.

Yes you are. Yes you are. Yes you are.

Yes you are. Yes you are. Oh he's licking the sweat off my forehead.

which sounds worse than it is it sounds kind of gross doesn't it but it is quite nice because he gets the salt he needs because sweat has a lot of salt in it doesn't it now don't sniff there mate that's not for you oi stop it okay carry on no stop it so it seems absolutely if it wasn't for that little thing you know the back leg thing you wouldn't even know anything was going on with him he's exactly the same as normal aren't you yes you are yes you are well he wants to get down see you later then oh because he wants to attack my shoes okay Wow I might start calling mr.

Hoppy hoppity hop hop or call him I could call him Kermit Kermit Hops no I shouldn't make fun of him he makes fun of me you think that I'm being cruel he makes fun of me all the time he does there was a I think there is this thing on the news it was I don't know what it was it was some big leak of some kind of gas oil leak or something like that in the Mediterranean sea or something like that it was on the news it was on the TV and Andre said can

you smell that daddy I said what do you mean so can you smell the oil can you smell that leak oil leak I said no he said I'm surprised if it knows your size I know your size very rude if it knows like that I think you'd be able to smell a fart from Iraq dear Jason well just keep going about Iraq I've mentioned it once ever oh you and your farts you know so I heard someone you know I like to listen well you might not know but I do I like to listen to

motivational recordings and I listen to them every single day and that's you hear that noise this is part of the reason why I can't make recordings during a day the loudest voice in the UK it's it's amazing anyway anyway I it's gonna distract me now so I'm gonna come to the end of the recording I think I have to put my headphones on just to block it out but see I knew what I was gonna talk about now being distracted by that voice nope it's gone it was gonna be really interesting guarantee it was really

really cool and then bang gone that's why it's better to make recordings at night no distractions no one knock on my door usually no one in the garden you know so the best time is pretty much midnight onwards but I wanted to do this I wanted to make a recording today and not wait till the evening although it is technically nearly evening it's half past five now and I started this recording about eight hours ago I didn't why did I say that anyway so oh wait my ears are sweet it's wet my ears are sweating

that's how warm it is oh man tomorrow oh I've got so much to do as I said earlier I've got obviously the vets but I need to go to the chemist the pharmacy to get my medication and then also to get my the letter for my bus pass which is supposed to cost me 25 pound I'm gonna ask them if I can get it for nothing and and then go to the vet it's the it's the voice and the mini me voice I don't know I suppose some people just like to be loud don't they

it's just loudness is you hear that you know if you can hear in the background you know what 20 years ago I probably would have been shouting out the window seriously I was not it's not good with noise with background sound I wasn't but I'm not like that anymore I'm a good boy I'm nice and chilled very I'm very chill very chill I try to be yeah it doesn't seem to be working right now so wish me luck for tomorrow and I'll let you know how I'll get on with the little boy and I'll do

well depends on it depends what happens tomorrow I might not make a recording because depends how I'm feeling but hopefully things will go to plan which for me the plan is he goes there it's something simple that can be corrected by the vet and he comes home with me and that's it that's that's that's my that's my dream really that it's fine and he's it's okay that's really you know where I'm going with that so I'm gonna that's what I intend things to be it's how I intended to to work out to play out without

any drama I know I know people that wouldn't even take him to the vet they just just wait wait and see how it works out just you know see if he's still like that in a couple of weeks but I can't do that I can't I just have to just have to know you know I have to I've been quite lucky considering the amount of accidents and sort of stuff the shenanigans he's got up to over the years other than his chest infection when he was a baby I've not had to take him to the

vet apart well I took him yeah he had fleas so I took him in fact I don't think he I think he had fleas and I've got some medication for him they went back to get some more and they said I couldn't have it until I'd see I don't know but anyway when he had fleas he went to the doctor well to the vets and got flea medication and that was fine but that's the only time he's ever had fleas I don't know where he come from you know he's not he's not a typical flea

carrier maybe if he was in the wild he would be but not you know it's and I've been taking him into the fields a park walking pretty much every day for the last well since November four and a half years ago so I got him in September by November he was physically big enough to fit into the harness just so I took him for a walk and from then on he loved it absolutely loved it couldn't get enough even in the snow he loves being outside and I perhaps don't take him out enough because we

do I do have a shared garden communal garden here but the problem is people are in there sometimes I don't want to really talk to other people so yes plus there's cats around loitering because the one of the neighbors has lots of cats in fact there's I think quite a few the neighbors have cats and Andre and cats don't mix I can see the cats licking their lips and really kind of trying to creep up on him because he's oblivious he's got no fear he doesn't care he's not he's not predator he's not he's neither

a predator nor prey he's just a little ferret doing his thing just playing around exploring he's got his food up here he doesn't need to eat anything or catch anything but he's he can defend himself very well but he shouldn't have to you know he's in his garden he should be able to just chill out and be relaxed my job is to defend him and keep him safe it's the only job I've got is to keep a little ferret safe and well it's not the hardest job in the world surely so if I'm unable to

do that then there's something wrong in there I can't keep a little ferret safe so I don't take him into the garden that often because I'm just a little bit concerned there's quite a few dogs and cats around and you know it's I think I'm more on guard when I'm out with him always looking around for dogs and cats now because I've been sneaky lately I had one that was just about to pounce on him and luckily I have a machine gun on me and I didn't but I just I intervened and said oi and

the cat stopped but it literally was just looked like he was about to he was running and speeding up he was about to run and catch Andre off-guard from behind like cats have a once opportunity to hurt Andre because they do have very very sharp teeth and very sharp claws and stuff but that's it because he ain't no rabbit Andre's not he's not a rabbit he's definitely not he's and yeah a cat will not be he won't just sit there and he's so bendy so even if the cat got him he'd be able to bend

around and he'd just be biting and he could bite hard on the cat his jaw is so strong so you know I don't want that to happen I love cats so I think cats are lovely I think all animals are lovely really not such a big fan of snakes and crocodiles and lizards and that those kind of animals just I don't know just never really never warmed to them but I'm sure they're lovely as well I've got a friend who's got a new snake and he loves him and just just because I don't really like

snakes why would I want to be putting it down just you know it's cruel isn't it to me going off snakes are horrible yeah he loves that little snake so who am I to put down his his fun and what he likes so I feel the same way about television programs some people are really negative about television programs aren't they but I used to love Big Brother I mean really loved it that was my summer before they stopped showing it and the amount of people that I'd know they go oh you're watching that rubbish really

sometimes I'd wonder well why are they my friend they're putting down something that I love to do it's not a friend so it's not what a friend does it's just cruel because if somebody I didn't know said that to me I'd have nothing more to do with them you know if I just started working in an office and someone asked me what you're doing tonight and I say I'm watching Big Brother it's a Big Brother launch and someone sitting the other side of the table I didn't know goes into a big rant about how crap

it is and pointless and I wouldn't like them that would be that that probably the chance of that turn into a friendship is a very very unlikely because of the cruelty it's just cruel to do that I don't think people realize that it hurts painful isn't it something you really like and someone's putting it down this is a joke cool but when it's like a real like yeah it's annoying so I just help it was sharp so I've ever got any friends that say I said zip it because I don't care what their opinions are

next I do what do they do people really think that if you if you say something really like negative about a TV program they're like but if you're gonna stop watching it what are you watching X Factor for it's just a it's just the same thing every year and they're all untalented that's what people like to say isn't all untalented oh I hadn't thought about that I'm gonna stop watching it then no it's never gonna happen people it's not how it works and to say that everyone's untalented well firstly how do you know if you

don't watch it what do you know about what can you tell me about a program that you don't watch hello what can you tell me about a singer that you don't listen to or television program that you don't watch well I don't eat that I don't eat that kind of food that kind of foods horrible don't know that food okay what can you tell me about food that you don't eat nothing so you know it's it's like being a I don't know a reviewer of a play but not going to see the play just basing

your review on the fact that you don't like that kind of play so doing a review about watching the play how'd that work you don't want to want to read a film with you from someone that hasn't seen the film would you anyway leave Big Brother alone there I think E4 I think are showing the best bits of Big Brother starting next week or this week coming so I'll be watching that oh yes oh yes I will oh yes see Big Brother from 2000 onwards it's a big part of my life from an entertainment perspective

I still love it I did I missed a couple of years out when I didn't have a television but other than that I've watched it and if I missed the first few episodes of anything generally I don't watch it so I think the television wasn't but I didn't have a television the whole time I just didn't have it for the first couple of months because I moved into this place I didn't have a television in fact in fact I might I'm not sure if I had a television at all the whole time I was there

I might have just watched online I can't be certain it's it's a little bit vague we're going back to 2011 I'm pretty sure I didn't have a television for that year but I might be wrong I might have had one near the end or maybe halfway through the year so I did miss quite a lot of television that year but I was watching things like Game of Thrones on streaming I streamed it or you know downloaded it and stuff so I was able to watch stuff but just not couldn't sort of get to watch the

stuff I wanted like Big Brother I might have watched some of it on catch-up but I'm not sure if if there was catch-up back then it's hard to remember anyway blimey I've been talking forever and ever and ever so thank you very much for listening remember remember remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye