#416 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (1st June 2020)

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can.

Safely close your eyes and busy bee bum bum bum bum bum. So that's it and just a little update. Just a little, a little little update.

I am, I've changed my mind since yesterday. A lot can happen in 24 hours. I've changed my mind and I'm not going to start a business.

I'm just going to continue as I am, making recordings for free and all that. Because even when I was talking about it yesterday, I could feel myself just not wanting to do it and it's not through laziness because I wouldn't work any harder if I was earning money out of this than I am now. I wouldn't because I do it through love, not, you know, money.

Money's never really been a huge inspiration for me. Even when I was doing sales, it wasn't about the money. It was about being the top or being one of the top, if that makes sense.

So I suppose it was more of an ego thing. But being, yeah, being good at something. That's why I suppose I'm quite into stats because when I was doing sales, that's when I very first started reading stats and seeing where I was compared to other people.

So yeah, this is where I am. So hey, who knows what's going to happen in the future, but this is what I'm going to do. This is what I'm going to continue to do.

Just continue to make free recordings. I mean, even though I was going to try and sell the recordings and blah, blah, blah. I still wanted them to be free for people to listen to, but there's going to be adverts, but I've decided against that.

So there's no adverts on any of the podcasts now. And if I did have adverts, I could have enough coming in to cover the costs, but at the same time, it'll be annoying people as well, which I don't really want to do. Well, not with adverts.

I mean, there's better ways to annoy people, isn't there? So anyway, that's where I am now. So I just made a decision. I think I just had a bit of a weird couple of days and every now and then I get a little bit scared.

Oh, what am I going to do? I'm nearly 50. And there's no money in my bank. Sometimes it gets a little bit on the edge, a little bit, oh, this is a little bit too close for comfort.

I'm not in a position where bailiffs are going to be knocking on my door because I do pay my bills. I'm pretty good with that stuff. I didn't used to be.

I went bankrupt twice. But now I'm very good with that stuff. I've learned.

It took me a long time, but I learned to... I was always better off when I had no money, in a sense, when I could never get credit, which is for the first 31 years of my life. Never had a debit card or credit card or anything. All I ever had was a bank card to put money in and to draw money out.

That was it. I could never pay for anything on it. And then in 2003, after a couple of years of working in insurance, suddenly I was Mr. Popular with the banks.

And they were chucking not just debit cards, but credit cards, loans, everything at me. And it did. And even though I was an adult, I was 32 years old, 32, 33.

I should have really known better, but because I had no... savvy other than just to... I always earned very low money when I was working, and I had enough to pay the rent for the week, buy the food. When I say pay the rent for the week, I mean the week ahead, not for people who are physically not as strong as me. That was hard to find anyway.

And find someone that's weaker than me, I am... Oh, you know what I did? You know what I've done? I want to say a couple of big thank yous. Just a little... I want to send a bit of love out. I want to send some love out to people, just to people that listen.

Actually, I want to send love out to everybody. I'm feeling a bit lovey today. Feeling grateful.

I didn't feel grateful yesterday for what I do have. And that sometimes affects my judgment, I think. It gets me... I get a little bit worried.

I start sort of panicking a little bit about the future. But when I'm grateful for what I do have, I start to remember that I know that people that listen to me will... Well, I don't know, but I'm kind of sure that in an emergency situation, you'll help me out. You know, suddenly, I lost... I wasn't getting paid any money from the benefit agency, and I couldn't pay my rent or eat.

You know, after all these years of doing this, I'm sure, you know, at the very least, send me some food or, you know, something like that, if I ask for it. And I did actually get some food sent to me from Rachel. So I want to send a love out to everyone, really.

But I'm just going to... I mentioned a couple of people from recent message hours, a couple of people who sent me messages. So Jen. So Jen's like a quite a new friend.

But we get on really well. She's local. She sort of lives in the UK.

So we're gonna meet up for coffee or something when this whole thingamajig ends, you know, and this silliness, all this stuff that's going on, hopefully comes to a close. Because no way I'm going to London. And even now, I think I'm allowed to, I guess, but I don't know if it's the rules.

Maybe I'm only allowed to go to London if I'm working in London. I don't know. Not that I really want to go to London anyway.

And then Rachel is another person. One day we'll have coffee together as well, Rachel. And that'd be cool.

Rachel sent me some beans. That was so lovely. She sent me a message.

I lost my bulk download on my iPad and wanted to see if I could download it again. I think I did give you a message back. But Rachel, if you're listening to this, what I've been doing the last 24 hours, I've been undoing what I did before, putting everything back to how it was, as well as making some new recordings.

What I started doing yesterday was I got rid of the 50 downloads for bulk, the bulk downloads of 50 recordings each because it's just too big. I've been trying to upload the latest 50 and my internet just won't allow it. It's just too much for my internet to take.

So what I've done, I've started to do, is breaking it down to 20 recordings per bulk upload or download, sorry, which means it's going to be a lot more to choose from. It also means it's going to take me a little while to put it together. But Rachel, you're on the list of people to get a recording, a what's it through with all my recordings anyway.

And my plan, my plan is on Thursday, either this Thursday or the following Wednesday to actually send them off to you, Boston Chicky, and one other person or two, I don't know. Just trying to think, I'm losing track of who's who. But yeah, there's a few people, like Susan I want to say hi to, Gemma, Brooke, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, Barrangary, Peter, Boston Chicky, Jen, another Jen, Georgie, Claire, Harrison, Rihanna, Gail, Linda, Amy, Bella, Bella, Jodie, Kathy, Rachel, Jen, Jen, Monica, Kissy, Leticia, Marcella, Ella, Ann, Annika, hi Annika, Ashley, Riley, Yannika, so that's Yannika, not Annika, two different people, Kay, Claire, Cassie, Kate, Bex, Rachel, Bethany, Melanie, Melissa, Rose.

Wow, it sounds like it's mainly women, doesn't it? I do have men listening as well. But yeah, just sort of sending some love out to those. And if you want me to give you a shout out or that kind of stuff, I'm still happy to do that.

You can send it, you can do it on Facebook, or ideally, just send a message on my website. And I will read out the message, even if it's like a happy birthday to your mother or to your husband or wife or your cat, you know, or if you just want to sort of say something nice, or if you just want to sort of tell me a funny story, or, you know, I'll read it out. Whatever, honestly, it doesn't matter really.

And I'm not going to read anything abusive out because that's, well, I might actually, I might, but generally, I'm trying to, you know, I'm looking to try and keep not just this podcast positive, but my life. I'm trying to keep positivity in my life as much as I can. It's not always easy.

And I'm a human being, and I'm sure the same as everyone else is. And I'm affected by what's going on around me. But what was weird is now in the UK, or in England, because I don't, it's different in different parts of the UK.

But in England, we can now meet up with people socially outside. Not sure exactly what the rules were. But the thing is, I haven't been self-isolating at all, the whole time.

The thing is, no one knows because I've got no one to break it with. I've got no one to meet up with. So I haven't been self-isolating.

I've just been at home anyway, because that's what I normally do. And it's not true. I have been self-isolating.

It's a joke. But I didn't have anyone to go out to see. There was nobody.

And it just dawned on me, because I was watching the news earlier this evening, because it's eight o'clock now. I was watching the news about six o'clock, and there's all these people getting together. And I'm thinking, oh, I forgot about that, because people have friends, don't they? They actually socialize.

And maybe the rest of the country has had a little taste of what it's like to be me, in a way. Or people like me, people that are, I don't know if reclusive is the word, but solitary most of the time, definitely. Yeah.

So it's, I mean, quite a privileged position in a sense of I get to talk to thousands of people every day. So that's, in a sense, that's quite a privileged position, because I don't, although I'm not, like, you're not in front of me, offering me gifts, bringing me chocolate cake, or that'd be nice. Oh, you know what I'd like? There used to be a cake.

And it's like a chocolate ghetto. But it wasn't really a chocolate ghetto. It wasn't frozen, wasn't, you know, ice cream or anything like that.

But it was, it was still lovely. I mean, you stick in the fridge. And it'd be, I don't know if it was Marks and Spencer's or whatever, or what it was called.

But it was layered. And it was beautiful. But, you know, it was very chocolatey, like too much to eat too much of.

And I like chocolate, but there is a limit. There's so, yeah, I've had no cans of Coke today. Nothing.

Because it involves going out and I don't want to go out. So I've been drinking juice instead, water and juice. And I think I'm feeling a bit better for it.

Definitely less gassy, which is nice. Like for the neighbours and that, you know. And I'm sure I heard someone outside shout to one of the neighbours, well, it seems that the drains have unblocked themselves because the horrible smell has gone away.

It's not there. It's not here today. I thought, you wait till I get some Cokes later.

I'll give you some smells. So rude, aren't they? Humans. So I did find a few friends today.

And just to sort of say oi. But no one answered the part of, well, two people answered out of four. What did Jen write? Let me see if I will read out all of her messages.

I'll say thank you to Jen. Jen actually gave me a PayPal gift. Thank you very much.

I think I said thank you on the, I said thank you to her person, like, but I didn't, not sure if I said it on the actual recording. And I'll just say, please will you marry me? Stop with the marriage proposals. And so, yeah, I got another message somewhere.

Let me just have a look. It says, this is from John. Do you still not do online private hypnosis sessions? And so he actually sent me a message.

Do you do online private hypnosis sessions? 1st of April, 2018. Hi, John, I don't do that. I only make recordings.

So I'll reply. Sorry. I still don't.

And yeah, I thought about doing it, but I can't be bothered. It's not I can't be bothered. I just don't, I'm not sure if it would be, how it would work as a thing, if you know what I mean.

I don't know. Because there's something about if I do a recording and I just, for half an hour and, you know, those that like it, like it, those that don't, don't. And hopefully it's useful for some people.

But the, I think I'd be pretty good. Well, I've done, I've done hypnosis with people one on one in the same room. And it is a lot different.

And people zap right out. I'm talking. They really go when I do.

I'm more boring in person than on recordings. Seriously, I'm like, I'll start talking. I'll start talking to them.

And it's like, you just like, bang on. And I think the only thing, I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to do that. You know, as a profession, because I was a counsellor, as a professional counsellor, got paid.

I had my own business, saw private clients, as well as seeing clients from agencies, you know, charities, Mind was one of them. And they were the main one, actually. They're a big mental health charity in the UK.

And I use hypnosis with some people, I think mainly with private clients, because I did offer that service as well as counselling. But it used to be, it'd be more of a technique to add to the toolbox of counselling. So maybe, okay, I'll give you an example.

Someone's got a feeling, an emotional feeling. And as they say, I'm feeling it here. It's really, I can feel it in my stomach.

It's like a knot, like a big knot in my stomach. And so what I then do is I say, well, okay, if you close your eyes, they don't even have to close their eyes, actually. And I get them to untangle the knot using hypnosis, using suggestion, and I guide them into untangling, physically untangling it.

So it's taken what they say very literally. And yeah, so I'd use hypnosis in that kind of thing. And there's also, there was a person that had been a witness to something and they got PTSD from it.

And it was really, really, really affecting their life in a big, big way, almost causing agoraphobia. And I had six sessions with this person. And I had the first couple of sessions and I thought, this is going to take longer in a counseling situation.

And we don't have longer, we have six. And even then they were trying to get us to sort of finish in four if we could. So what I did is I did some hypnosis with her, which I wouldn't normally do, and sorted out the issue fairly quickly.

And then she came back the next week and she was okay. It did what it needed to do. It helped with the PTSD, basically eliminated it, really, at least I hope so.

I mean, I didn't get any follow up. But it's handy to have that NLP, hypnosis, the counseling, EFT, which I used to do, to have all those different things to kind of like delve into, you know, to use and to mix up. And yeah, so I guess really, in some ways, it's like being an artist and knowing certain techniques you can use to amplify or to improve a picture.

It's probably nothing like that, but you know, I'm not an artist, so I don't know much about art, but add an F and I'm an expert. I don't mean art. Fart.

So yeah, I think today's been all right, actually. Today's been all right. I've got a lot done.

I finished all of what I needed to do as far as changing the website back to how it was. I managed to get, I didn't realize my website was blocked. So Rachel contacted me and she said, I can't get onto your website.

So because the website hadn't been able to take my money for the month, they blocked it. They didn't tell me they blocked it. They said they were going to, or they might if they can't get the money.

And then for some reason, they were able to take the money, even though the money was in there for them. And yeah, so that's all done. And then I was minus £4.93 in my bank.

I don't even have an overdraft. They're not supposed to do that. But on the first of the month, which is today, the first of the month, I have a bunch of stuff go out, like bills and council tax, television license, stuff like that.

Internet, broadband, they're not supposed to take out more than what I've got in there. So they take out £4.93 more than they should. And then there's a, this is on my internet banking on my phone.

And there's a big message in red flashing, it might not be flashing, I'm wearing a little raincoat, and it's saying, you're now £3.93. If you don't put that money to bring it back into credit, you may get charged. And so yeah, great. Well, I wouldn't get charged if you didn't allow people to take money out of my account that isn't in there in the first place.

Banks are weird, aren't they? You can go into any bank. And if you've got the card, you can just put money in, you can put as much money in as you want. You got to take money out.

Oh, password and all that kind of stuff. Put money in, they don't really care. They're like, well, yeah, we'll take your money.

I think their argument is, why would someone else put money into your account? Which is a good point, really, isn't it? I think, yeah, I had insurance, not insurance, the BACP, which is the Organisation for Counselling. When I was at college, I had to be a member of them. I think like a student member.

So I joined the first, yeah, I joined. And they took out, I think it was like £90 for the first year or something. And so they took my money.

And then they sent me a letter saying, we need proof of your identification. I said, what? I phoned them up, I said, what do you mean, proof of my identification? So they wanted me to send them a photocopy of bank slips or bank slip, maybe a photograph, I don't know, what's it, passport photo or driving licence or something like that. And I said, you didn't want my ID when you took my money, did you? You're quite happy to take my money before needing to know if I really was the person.

That's the response I got from them, really weren't interested. But that's just like customer service. Where's the customer service? I don't know what it'd be like to do therapy on Skype or Zoom.

I don't know. I don't know. I thought about doing it.

I've actually built websites ready to do it in the past and then change my mind. I know it's hard to believe I would ever change my mind because I'm so reliable. Sometimes I get really excited about something and I'll spend six, seven hours building it, build the website, build everything, get it all done.

And then the next day I wake up and I think, yeah, yeah, I'm going to get that website, a taxi, and say goodbye. Of course I'll call you. Yeah, bye.

It's weird. I just, maybe it's losing interest. But there's something about having, I know for the business perspective, I guess I don't really believe in myself enough to be a business.

But at the same time, one of my favorite parts of this is the fact that it's free. What I do is free and I like that. For me, that's been the hook, the hook, the hook, in a way.

We'll see. We'll see what happens. As far as writing a book, I don't know.

How can I, where do I start? Where do I even start, man? If anything, I'd like to find a way to promote my podcasts and my website to a larger audience. Even though the audience is growing organically, it's naturally growing month in, month out. It'd be nice to be able to give it a boost by having done something myself to promote.

So I'm going to look into that. But in the meantime, there's some stuff I really got to get my head around. And that's how to do to learn two bits of software.

Ferrite, which I haven't downloaded yet. Well, I have the app, but I've not paid for it yet. That's supposed to be really, really good for audio.

I need to learn how to do it. I need to learn how to use it. So that's that's going to be interesting.

I hope. Once I learn how to use that, then I'll be able to edit better. And apparently it evens out the sound as well.

So there's no like high, loud bits or quiet bits. It makes everything a bit more equal. And so I'm going to look into that.

And then the iMovie. I want to learn how to use the iMovie. So then I can start to produce some better videos than the ones I'm doing at the moment.

So that I nearly nearly did that yesterday. I did nearly actually sort of thought that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to learn how to use iMovie.

Because a lot of it is just watching videos on YouTube, and learning how to do it, you know, just following the instructions. And it might take a couple of weeks until I'm sort of really okay. But to have a tendency of just learning the basics, learning what I need to do, and then just doing that, instead of learning what other things I could do, which may make it better.

So if you was to go onto YouTube, I don't know where they are, which particular videos they are. But some of my videos are quite well edited. You know, they've got animations in, they've got introduction, even music intros.

And so I've put quite a lot of work into them. And I think I don't know why I was using, it was professional software, video software that I did have on my laptop. But that's, I deleted it from my laptop, because it's struggling just to even handle the internet now.

So I'm hoping it should be okay to do everything on the iMovie, hopefully. That's the plan. I am playing with a man, eating spam.

Oh, I got a new message. Oh no, it's John that's done. When I fall in love, it will be for about 20 minutes.

Oh, I'm never falling in love. I completely forgot the day today. See, I've done two, three recordings technically, but I did number 233 Deep Sleep Whisper earlier today, 1st of June 2020.

Then I did Sleep Hypnosis Weekly number 43, 1st of May 2020. And then I did Sleep Hypnosis Weekly number 43 with music. 1st of May, I realized, what on earth am I doing there? So I had to stop what I was doing with the one with music, go back to the just the one without music, and change every podcast post, every upload that I did on different podcasts, I did have to change them.

Then I needed to change them on Facebook, and Twitter. I haven't changed them on YouTube yet. So I need to go and do that.

I was like ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. So now I'm there now, I'm in June. I must have just loved May so much.

I wanted to start it all over again. Please can we start from the beginning again? It's been such a lovely month. I suppose in some ways it has.

In some ways, not so much. So I've left, I've actually, I left, I put a couple of pictures of Andre on my Facebook page. And what is it? It says, it's quite a cute one there, leave me alone, I'm self-isolationing.

This was from yesterday, and he's just there. Just, you almost look like he's doing some weird yoga move. And he's literally, his whole body is twisted around each other.

So he's, yeah, it's, it's quite funny. I can't even see where his tail is. So he's proper, he looks like someone's twisted him around and twisted him into a little ball.

But he's clearly done that himself. Very happy, very relaxed and calm. He's asleep now as well.

The video that I put on there, with Andre going for a walk. I know it's not quite, it's not quite gone viral, but it's had 234 views, which is nice. I know what other people have, let me bore you to sleep podcast.

Oh, there hasn't been anything today, because I have not uploaded anything today, have I? This will be the first, let me bore you to sleep one. I've got the neighbours, they've been shouting at each other. Bless them.

It's, I don't know, maybe that's just the way people communicate with each other. I used to have a girlfriend once. That's it, that's the whole story.

No, I used to have a girlfriend and we used to go really well indoors. Soon as we got outside, arguing, arguing, arguing all the time. And it was her just winding, well, maybe, I guess I was part of it as well.

I can't put it all on her, but she was just a wind-up merchant. Constantly, I think part of it is she wanted everything her own way. And I wanted everything my own way.

And that just don't work. I was only a young lad back then, I was only what, 35. Wow, 35, I was a young, a young boy, a fresh young boy.

I hadn't even had my first shave at that age. I just had a bit of bum fluff, just a little bit of few little hairs on my cheeks and my chin. And I had never had a proper shave.

I didn't know my voice hadn't even broken. Still haven't, I'm still waiting. I used to, when I was a kid, I used to come down, when I was a teenager, every morning I'd wake up hoping that my voice had broke.

Hoping that I'd go from to, and it didn't seem to happen like that for me. It more reduced in pitch, it became less harsh on other people's ears, but it didn't like really drop in a sense of going like low. Because at school you get a lot of young boys and they're walking around talking really deeply when it's not really their proper voice.

But they're so excited with this new toy of having the ability to talk deep. Morning. I'm going to school now, mommy.

And I know someone actually still talks deep, puts on a deep voice. I mean, to do that, you have to constrict your voice. It takes, it puts a lot of pressure on voice to do that.

And I don't have a deep voice, not really. Sometimes if I growl, it's a little grainy, it can be a little grainy at times. But a lot of that can be whether or not I'm focusing on talking and talking clearly, clearly, clearly.

So I remember once I had, I thought I did, I thought my voice had broken. So I came down to breakfast. Everybody, the turnout was just phlegm.

So it was a bit annoying. I was so excited. It's all I wanted.

It's not all I wanted. And I wanted other changes to occur as well. A bit of growth, you know, because I was only, I was quite short.

Yeah, that's what I mean. Weird times being a teenager, I don't know. It was weirder for me because I was so small compared to everybody else.

I mean, there was people who were two, three years younger than me, they were bigger than me. Genuinely, they were already adults. And I was still, hello everyone.

Yeah. You know, I'm 16 now. Honestly, I couldn't, I used to go into a pub when I was 17, trying to pretend I was 18.

And I remember I went to one pub with my friend. I said, I have a pint of lager, please. And the barman started laughing.

He said, how old are you? I said, I'm 18. Sometimes I do exaggerate. I'm 32.

And he'd just laugh, but it still served me. So I don't care how old you are. I didn't care.

In them days, it wasn't such a big deal. You know, it was, I think there were these huge fines that there are now. But even now, everyone, people under the age of 18, I know in other countries, you can't drink to 21.

Is that right? In some countries, some countries, you can't drink at all. As far as I'm concerned, if you're old enough to pay tax, you're old enough to do everything else that anybody else does that pays tax, including having a mortgage, getting married, driving, drinking, smoking, whatever. If you're old enough to pay tax, you're old enough to do anything else.

Not legally, obviously, because that's not the law. In my head, that's kind of how I think it should be. By the way, if there's anyone under the age of 21 in America, don't drink.

I mean, you've been paying taxes for years, and you're contributing as much to society as everyone else is. And in fact, you're contributing towards paying for the police to deal with people that are drunk, even though you're not allowed to drink yourself. So get that.

You're not allowed to, you shouldn't. So don't do it. But just keep paying your tax.

Keep paying your taxes. I can hear my neighbors shouting now. I hope they keep it inside the flat, their own little place.

Otherwise, it will come outside. I'll just continue to record so you can hear it. It'll be this screaming.

It's quite funny, because last summer, I went over there, because I thought she was in trouble. And so it went on for ages. So I went over there, knocked on her door, just to check everything was okay.

And then he wasn't happy. And yeah, that was a bit weird. Now, I wouldn't go out there.

Even if they was attacking each other with planes, lightsabers, a lightsaber fight on the roof, I wouldn't get involved. I'd have nothing to do. Let them just do what they're doing.

I've done my bit. I did my bit. Yes, we did.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's so weird. I wouldn't want to, yeah, if I was living with someone, I'd have to live with someone that I liked.

I think that has to be a precurse. It needs to be a rule. Surely, like, well, yeah, I think it should be a law.

You can move in with each other, but you have to like each other first. No, but I love him, and I love her. No, I'm not talking about love.

Do you like each other? I love him, and I fancy her. No, do you like each other? Love's got nothing to do with it. You can love someone and not like them.

So just do you like the person? That'd be weird. That's what I sometimes think of, like, I prefer someone to like me than to love me. You know, when it comes to sort of maybe family and stuff, like, yeah, you love me out of duty, because it's supposed to.

Do you like me? Do you actually like me? Yeah. I suppose I should say a big birthday wishes to my niece and my brother's girlfriend. Both, it's not the same person, and both got their birthdays today.

Happy birthday. Neither will be listening to this, so that's good. Did I tell you my brother's got the same face as when he was born? He's got the same head, the same size.

Listen, I think he actually sounds a bit like me, and you might say, well, yeah, it's not a surprise, I guess, that my brother would sound similar to me. I don't hear it myself, but I think he might do, which is strange, because it'd be different for him, because he's really good looking, and he's always been a bit of a, well, I won't say the word, but he's been popular over the years, and I think if I'd have had that, my videos, when I was doing YouTube, oh man, I would have got a lot more people watching.

If I'd have had the looks, the groovy looks, or maybe if I'd have done it when I was younger, yeah, that's another thing, I suppose, because I didn't start until I was 35.

If I'd have done making recordings on YouTube when I was in my 20s, yeah, it would have been a different thing as well. I would have, yeah, I would have had more hair. In fact, at some point, sometimes I would have had long hair, long, long, long, long, long hair, lots of it, lots of it.

Loads and loads of hair, can't argue with that, unless you want to, I guess. Lots and lots of hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair. So I'm going to end this recording a little bit early, because it sounds like the neighbours are going to start shouting each other in the garden and stuff, which is not a peaceful ending to a recording.

So thank you for listening. Remember, remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy. Lots of love.

Bye.