#415 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (31st May 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You To Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

Yeah. So I hope you're well. I hope you're alright.

I hope you're doing good and all that. Andre's been very impatient and wants to go out for a walk. Even though I took him out at 7 o'clock and he refused to get down.

I literally carried him the whole journey, all the way around the block, through the park and everything. And he was still trying to get to my jacket and he did not want to touch the floor. But now, all he wants to do is go out.

And he's not. It's a bit chilly. I can't believe it.

It's really nice during the day, like heat wise. But at night it's been getting a bit, ooh. I noticed it last night.

It was a bit chilly, chilly. But it's alright. It doesn't really matter, I don't think.

I mean, I've not got my thermals on. But, yeah. So, what's the latest with me? Well, I'm about to attempt something.

And it's going to be really, it's challenging. Let's put it that way. It's challenging.

And I'll go through it during this recording, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. And I really don't want to do it. I do, but I don't, it's weird that I realize that I have no, my self-belief is really, really low when it comes to this.

And I'm sort of surprised and I'm fighting internally with the whole decision. I'm going to marry Andre. I'm going to Gretna Green.

I'm going to marry him. No, I'm not. Is it weird that I have to say no, I'm not? Like someone would be listening thinking, oh, he's marrying a ferret.

That's a bit off. Is that allowed in England? Well, Gretna Green's in Scotland, but no, it's not allowed. I don't think you're allowed to marry a ferret anywhere, I don't think.

But if you know anywhere, let us know. Do let me know, please. Um.

Oh, I've just eaten, just, I don't want to, just to eat. I've eaten many times in my life. I mean, it's the first time ever.

I've just had a meal. It's nice. I should have done this earlier.

But today, I'm just really lazy lately. Even though I've got food that's frozen, and they're actually meals, nice meals. And take like between 8 and 11 or 12 minutes to cook, depending, in the microwave.

I haven't even got off, I've pierced the film, the plastic film on top. And the plastic comes off really easily. So it's good quality stuff.

It's not like the stuff in the supermarket, which sometimes, you know, doesn't come off. This is top quality. It's not cheap either, but it's kind of the only thing I could get delivered during this period in our lives.

Because the supermarket, I haven't, they've not made enough money off of me over the last 30 odd years. So they clearly, so they didn't want to deliver to me. So I've had to find other ways of doing it than I have, which has been good.

Anyway, still a bit lazy, but in the end, I think, oh, that was worth it. It was nice. But I've got a room in my tummy for some sponge.

And just as I said that, I nearly said sponge and ice cream. And I remember, I've got some ice cream in the freezer. Ah, I do.

And I'm going to have it later. Now I've got something to look forward to. Brilliant.

It's the little things, isn't it? It's the little things. That's what I've been trying to tell women for years. It's the little things in life that are important.

Little packages, but no one ever believes me. I have decided, decided, decided, decided to give it a go, making, well, becoming a business. That's what I've decided.

And you have no idea how difficult this is for me, because I don't want to. But at the same time, I don't want to be sitting here in five years' time in the same position. With zero money in the bank.

So I need to move forward in my life. And so what's the point of me listening to all these motivational tapes, and reading books, and trying to sort of get myself to be the best I can be, if I don't actually take any risks. So it's a risk.

I'm going to take it. But I don't want to at the same time, because I'm scared. So there you go.

So I've decided, decided that over the next three months, with the 26th of August being the launch date of the business. So between now and August, I'm going to be building it on the website, putting everything into place, making stuff available to purchase, as well as listen to. You'll still be able to listen to stuff for free.

Podcasts will still be free to listen to, but they will have adverts on. And I'm hoping to look at getting a podcast, a separate podcast, which you can pay a monthly fee to listen to everything without adverts. Some people would be eligible to have free access to that.

Especially people that have gifted me on PayPal. Actually, everybody that's gifted me on PayPal will have free access to that forever, basically. But I'm just waiting to set that up.

So I think I'm going to have that on Podbean. I've already got a podcast on Podbean, but I just have to renew it. So all of my recordings will be available to listen to on there, but it will be private.

And you'll only be able to listen to it if you're a member. And it's not going to be expensive. It's not going to be like £100 a minute or anything like that.

It's going to be like £3.99 a month or something. Not £399, £3.99 a month. That's the kind of price I'm looking at.

Then you'll have access to all 1,700 plus recordings without adverts. Or you can just continue listening to them with adverts for free. And if you want to download stuff, you can download the... Yeah, you also have access to download everything for free as well for the membership.

And if you want to download stuff from my website, it'll be 49 pence for each recording. Or if you download bulk recordings, for example, Let Me Bore You To Sleep, I'm starting to break them down into 20 recordings per bulk download instead of 50, because 50 is a bit too much to upload at one time. And to download at one time is quite a big file, but 20 I think is manageable.

So I'm going to have all of my recordings, the main podcasts, broken into 20 downloads available for £2.49 to download 20. So 49 pence each if you buy them individually or £2.49 for 20. I think it's a pretty good deal.

49 pence is nothing, is it? Pretty much so. And you can also listen free as well with adverts. So I'm also looking to write some books, maybe do some courses as well.

So yeah, that's the plan. And I'm scared. I'm scared.

I am. But I'm going to be 50 in a couple of months time. I can't be unemployed at 50.

I can't. I mean, I will still be unemployed, but I'll be doing this business at the same time. So the way the rules are is they'll just take everything off me and leave me with something like £20 above what they've already given me, if that makes sense.

So I'm not going to be making much in the way of money to start with. But it will give me the opportunity to, and that's the profits. So I'll be able to start advertising on Facebook, Google, and getting more listeners to the podcast and to my website.

Because at the moment it's just organic. I don't pay for any listeners. I don't get new listeners.

It's just people coming across me randomly at the moment. And those of you that share my stuff with your friends on Facebook and stuff like that. So the important part is it's still free.

In a sense, you can still listen to the recordings for free. But there will be adverts on the recordings. And at the moment it's still... I haven't got the other podcast, but when I do get it, it might not be Podbean, it might be another one, but it'll be some kind of podcast.

Or it will be on my website. I'm not sure. I'm trying to figure out how to do it.

And also, I would just point this out, anybody that has gifted me in the past on PayPal, I will send you whatever you want. Okay. So I've got a list.

I'm going to make a list, but I know who's gifted me in the past and helped me out. I'm going to write down a list of those people with the email addresses. And as I said before, all recordings, the individual recordings and stuff like that is available for you.

Free. Free. So when I do the podcast, the subscription podcast, you'll have access to that for free.

Hopefully I'll be able to do that. I should be able to add people. Yeah, so it should be fine.

So that's the plan. That's the plan, boys and girls. And I still don't like it.

It's weird. What do you want? Right, he's now got in his cage. Can you hear him? I don't know what he's up to.

When I took him out, he was asleep. But it was ten to seven. Normally he's awake at that time.

So you can hear why I can't have his cage in my bedroom. I used to do it. I used to try and have his cage in my bedroom.

Because I wanted to be near him. This sounds a bit soppy, I know. Especially when he had his chest infection, I wanted to be able to be there if he needed me.

But I'd be asleep and suddenly he'd be running down the ramps to get to the bottom of the cage so he could go to the toilet. Or he'd be drinking or he'd be eating. Eating his dry food and just knocking stuff everywhere.

It's a little bit disturbing. I mean, I can hear it even in here. I don't put him in the cage anymore, but even when I have had him in the cage, in this room, with the doors closed, I can hear him.

And I can hear him when he's in the storage room as well. What do you want to get? You want to get up? No? If you want to get up or you don't. Want to get up? So he's putting his hands up to get up.

Go on then. Okay, he does want to get up. What's going on? What's going on with you? What's going on? Just don't sneeze in my face, please.

I see, you just lay there. Good boy. I need to give him a bath.

Did you hear me say the word bath, Andre? I thought you'd run away in the hidden. He does sometimes hide. If he thinks I'm going to give him a bath.

So if I run a bath, sometimes he thinks, oh, no, I recognise that. No. And he just, he runs off.

He hides underneath the chair. The black chair, the big, black, squeaky, falling apart chair. It looks like it's, it wouldn't look out of place on a rubbish tip, that chair.

It really, I'll tell you what it looks like. It looks like I've spent, or someone has spent the last five years sitting in it and never moving, which is not the case. I do move.

But it's not worn out. The arms are completely bare. And weirdly enough, only one side of the headrest is completely bare.

One half. The other half is not. So I mean, clearly that's the part I sit on or lean against.

Completely stripped of any of the material that was originally there. And here I'm scratching at the... I don't get it. I mean, I just, I don't get why he does it.

Does he... I do know why he does it, but just... What does he expect me to do? Just stop everything I'm doing and say, okay, let's go for a walk then? I think he heard me say that. And then he's expecting me to come out. I took him out.

I took him out. I walked him all the way around. Didn't want to go out myself.

I just took him out. And he had a lovely time. He was just breathing in the air and sticking his head out the... Not the window, but the jacket.

And he was just, you know, he seemed to be really enjoying it. And then just as we got to the front, the main door, he started to want to get down. And I knew that, for a reason, he wanted to go to the toilet.

So I just quickly came up the stairs and got his lead off. And he did. He had to go to the toilet on the paper.

He likes to wait till he gets home before he does that. Won't do it in the field. Or in the garden, you know.

Won't go in the garden. Won't go in the park. I prefer the carpet, Daddy.

It's much nicer. Because then I can wipe my bum afterwards on the carpet. And it just feels nice.

Yeah. How glorious. I've actually got a carpet cleaner.

Like a proper, not industrial one, but it's a Vax carpet cleaner. You should see what comes out of this carpet. It's like a murder scene, seriously.

It's just... It's grim. It's really... There's a colour that shouldn't exist. Someone said... Is it Paul? Said we should get rid of this slipper.

Get rid of Andre's slipper. Take it away from him. If it's so smelly and stuff.

I might have addressed this, but he doesn't... I don't wear it. It's not... It used to be my slipper about three years ago. And... I don't wear slippers anymore because he kept ruining them.

I mean, he was doing stuff with them when I wasn't here. I'd come back and the slipper would be... Well, just not so easy to bend for some reason. And... And then he'd hide them as well.

I came in once. I remember when he was a little, little baby. I came in once and I literally... I could not find one of my slippers anywhere.

I was searching. In the end, it was... I think it was behind the cooker. Seriously.

Annoying. So... That's the kind of stuff that he has done. Still does.

Although he hasn't taken his snake. So his pink snake... Because I haven't touched it, he's left it there. He occasionally goes and there's a sniff and there's a little rub against it and bites it and stuff, but... He's just happy for it to be there.

He just doesn't like me touching it. The second I touch his snake, he'll be out grabbing it off me and taking it away somewhere else. That's what he does.

It's... I don't know why. I didn't even know why. So yeah, I don't know.

See, I don't know about this whole... I don't know what to do about this business thing. Because I used to have a business when I was a counsellor and I didn't like it because I didn't earn hardly any money. I was doing alright for the first... The first year I was doing okay and then suddenly lost loads of work because of the government cuts and stuff.

And I think I ended up earning about £5,000 that last year. I was self-employed. I was like, come on, really? That's not enough.

That's like part-time. It's not even part-time money. That's... Well, it is part-time but not even that.

It's... It's ridiculous. I mean, the minimum wage now is... Let's have a look. What's the minimum wage? Minimum wage UK The minimum wage... Wow! That's weird.

United Kingdom £1,524 No, €1,524 per month. That was July 2019. What is the minimum wage UK? Okay, let's just go back to the proper one.

So for me the minimum wage is £8. 72 an hour. £8. 72 times by should we say 37 hours £322 a week times by so you're talking £16,777 That's just minimum wage and I was earning £5,000 I mean, come on man! I was earning I was earning more than that 40 years ago well, not 40 years ago 30 years ago That used to be quite a low wage even then back in the 80s but £100 a week it was not the worst wage in the world for someone to be in about 16, 17, 18 If you could earn £100 you were doing alright Yeah, so but then I think about it £16,000 so earn £16,000 How am I going to earn that much?

Divide that by 0. 49 so that would be £16,000 times by 2 so I'll have to sell 32,000 products off my website to earn a basic living wage OK and divide that by £365 so 87 products a day or 87. 67 That's it Andre you just find every single carrier bag you can and a roll around in it Yeah, that's a good boy Yeah, yeah 87 87 products a day but thinking about it though £16,000 divided by 365 is only £43. 83 a day so technically it's not that much divide it by 24 it's £1.

82 an hour you know, bearing in mind I suppose because it's a it's a worldwide thing that I'm doing so I'll be maybe appealing to people from all around so I need to earn £1. 82 every hour, 24 hours a day every for every hour of every month of every year £1.

82 an hour so divide so that's let's say £2 for the sake of it so that's 4 products an hour so I have to sell 4 products an hour to get that because the products are 49 pence oh you can't even get them I don't think you can even get a Mars bar for that anymore well so yeah, I don't know I don't know what to let's write a book and sell it I've got an idea if I write a book and sell it for just £8,000 each I've only got to sell 2 books fucking

little wanker he's doing it on purpose he's doing it to wind me up what he doesn't realise is the more he annoys me the less chance he has of going out because the more noise he makes when I'm trying to make a recording and this is the worst pretty much the worst thing he can do to annoy me is by being noisy during a recording and I've waited till this time of the day to make a recording because it's so noisy the rest of the time can you hear him?

oh dear when it's 20 past 11 in the morning or 18 minutes past 11 he's not only very popular with the neighbours if they're trying to get asleep and he's scratching at the door well Andre if the neighbours complain I might have to get rid of you and now he's banging against the radiator oh honestly I don't know where he gets it from his absolute disregard because I'm I'm quite a considerate person when it comes I try to be when it comes to being at home I try and be fairly quiet I have the music

I don't have it up loud I've got headphones for that if I wanted to listen to something loud TV's usually fairly low especially as I have it lower at night than I do during the day I blare it at 6 o'clock in the morning but by 11 at night I can hardly hear it so I'm pretty considerate yeah I'm just hearing during the day there's lots of sounds it's natural it's spring, nearly summer time people are out tomorrow, man because tomorrow the 1st of June the government have they've opened up the they've kind of said

that people can go out more and I don't know what the rules are I can't keep track of it anymore because they just keep saying they keep contradicting themselves you know, we encourage go out, have fun go and do some sport you can go out as many times as you want now you can meet up with up to 6 people and they said if you have to use go to work, more people are going to work now please avoid using the trains at peak time well that's the time when people use the trains isn't it

you know, people going to work who work in Liverpool Street travelling from where I live they're leaving at 6 o'clock in the morning they can't leave at 11 in the morning you know, they've got a job to get to so don't travel during peak times well if no one travels during peak times they won't be peak times will they there was probably some bloke on again I don't know what the full story is but I think it was a train driver wouldn't he wanted to kick someone off the train because he had a what was

it, a golf cart with him he had his golf clubs with him first of all, you're a bit silly to pick on anyone that's got all them big metal bars with them you know, don't pick a fight with someone that's got all those bars but anyway, this train driver he, I don't know the full story I mean the bloke might have been rude to him or whatever I don't know, but anyway he refused to leave the platform the train refused, the train driver said to everyone I'm not leaving so he probably got sacked or although

it's quite difficult, they've got a very good very strong union with the train drivers with the train you know, the train stations and stuff so he might have been saved by the union I don't know or I guess all he had to do really was just saying I'm having a breakdown gone off hill and they couldn't have sacked him, can't sack him he could have had six months off paid which is better than getting sacked and let's face it, maybe he was under huge amounts of stress and stuff but the train drivers they don't generally

have to have any contact with the customers they're right at the front of the train they might have to walk through the platform through the customers the passengers to get to the train, the front the carriage but they don't, you know, they're there they don't leave the carriage so I'm wondering why they'd even be even slightly interested and also considering about two weeks ago or three weeks ago the first people that were allowed to go out the first sports places that were open were golf clubs kind of ironic isn't it, considering it's a prestigious sport

that most people will never play I mean I know a lot of people love it but it's not it's not something that a lot of people can afford to do so they opened that up first it's almost like the rich people who make decisions seem to be looking after themselves surely not and but this bloke with the golf clubs he was in all his right how are you supposed to get to the golf club?

unless of course he'd asked the train driver to be his caddy and that's why he was annoyed he was trying to explain to the bloke I can't leave the tracks you see the train's on the tracks and the golf player was saying just do it boy just make the train take it to the golf club boy it might have been one of them do it boy do it now he clicked his fingers because sometimes clicking your fingers you know if you're not a hypnotist clicking your fingers at someone can be quite rude apparently do it

now waiter I wonder what it would be like to be in a public place and actually think that you're important I've never been in that situation I've met a few people over the years and even who have been kicked out of clubs kicked out of comedy club they say do you know who I am?

do you have any idea who I am? I'll have your job I'll have your job well if you really are famous why would you want my job? and it's I want to speak to the manager well I am the manager I want to speak to the owner I am the owner I want to speak to the janitor guess what I am the janitor and the cleaner and the DJ DJ I do find it funny do you know who I am? how dare you talk to me like that how dare you what do you mean how dare I what what planet are you from to think that you're above anyone how dare you do you know who I am?

I used to be on television in 1983 I'd love to be in a position to be able to even do that which I'm not I wouldn't anyway but I probably would as a joke you know do you know who I am?

but as a joke not as a real thing because firstly I wouldn't get kicked out of a place and because I don't get drunk and I'm not abusive so yeah it wouldn't sort of come up and also I'm not a complainer when it comes to being in a restaurant because I've worked the other side I've worked in kitchens I've spent years in catering and people you know you can complain about the food and be rude to a waiter or waitress but I don't suggest it that's all I'm saying on that one I've been a waiter

and I've worked in hotel kitchens restaurants it was all sort of when I was younger really but everything was when I was younger a few things were when I was older a few things happened in the future but most things were in the past and if you're in a restaurant and you're not happy with something then of course don't be eating raw meat but be really really gentle with the person you're dealing with be kind to them be nice and friendly I don't mean like begging please take the food back and make it edible I

don't mean that but just be gentle with it because the second you start shouting well anyone that shouts and starts swearing and all that stuff in a restaurant they're going to get some pretty special service yep unfortunately I've seen it it's not great I've never done it myself I'm not really that way inclined but I was young but but I've always worked in the most hygienic places I won't go into specifics but you know I think the old allergy or the old saying that a little bit of dirt don't hurt is pretty much true I

think because we all eat a fair amount of dirt along the way and so like Andre I am immune to Andre I'm immune to anything Andre produces having lived with him for five years nearly and he's immune to me so nothing he does will make me ill apart from we could get ill from each other so if I've got a cold or you know something like that I could give him a cold and he could give me a cold but outside of that we're pretty much like the same person I mean he is my son

we are, I'm pretty sure if you tested that we would be genetically he would genetically be my own son I think can you imagine what I'd be like if I actually had learnt something at school I'd be almost intelligent wouldn't I if I actually had listened to one lesson at school one single thing I saw something on telly earlier Jen mentioned you in a comment on Facebook yeah I thought you were going to put me next I saw her post it says the hardest three things to say, I was wrong I need help Worcestershire sauce

or Worcestershire sauce hmm and oh where is that wow the high ticket coaching academy the there was something on here earlier I saw it on the TV and it was an advert for education ed 2GCSE SE let's have a look home ed info oh no that's not it is it education website because what I thought I could do is try and learn some stuff that perhaps I should have learnt when I was younger ed place maybe not, is it that might be ed place the education network I don't know and I thought that would be

useful to just go and maybe learn some facts some actual facts about some real stuff that might have happened in the past maybe learn some algebra maybe learn some history some science geography what else is there that's all of them isn't it I know a bit about RE, religious studies, religious education I know a little bit about it but I think most of my knowledge in Buddhism comes really from practical doing it being involved in it Catholicism came from again kind of being involved in it without any choice really when I was very young Christianity

came from when I was at school that that was what everyone was expected to be so it was kind of a Christian it wasn't like a proper religious school but it was all Christian sort of hymns and stuff like that plus I was really into it myself for a while I learnt a bit about Hinduism when I was at school a bit about Muslims and Judaism and trying to think and some of the others Jindis I forget what they're called Jinns there's lots of different religions out there so I thought about reading like the major

books so you've got the Quran the Bible I've already read the Bible and the New Testament but the Bible itself is such a long time ago that I read that well it's been a long time since I read the New Testament as well and I haven't read all the books from Buddhism because it's the Pali Canon and it's massive it's massive but I have read a lot I've read more from the Pali Canon from Buddhism than any other religion never read the Quran never read the karaoke I'll have to look it up I don't want

to say anything that upsets people I'll just look it up Book for Jews the big book for Jews no what is the book for Judo?

the Torah I nearly read it once because I was interested I am interested in I suppose what interests me a little bit about some of these religions is the I suppose is the superstitions the ritualistic stuff that's always amused me from a very early age and especially as once you get into psychology you realise you can teach a rat to do stuff teach a dog to sort of just follow orders blindly without questioning I just found it interesting so I do I might actually have a read of those two books the last two the Torah

and the thing the Kori Quran and I don't know I like I suppose my preference is Buddhism just because that's what I'm more into it just suits me as a person a bit more I was very into what's it called I wonder what Sikhism what's the book for Sikhs okay what's a Sikh book the Adi Granth Guru Granth Sahib okay Guru Granth Guru Granth Sahib Ji is the central religion of scripture religious scripture of Sikhism regarded by Sikhs as the final and the Sikh holy book Adi Granth okay so what about what's the other ones

Sikhs oh I forgot their name now might as well just put in world religion world superstitions religi Hinduism that's the one I wanted so see I don't understand this it confuses me a little bit so this was from 2006 what are the 12 major religions of the world move along please the world's faithful account for 83% of the global population two of the top five religions in the world apparently no blimey which religion is best according to this again it's all muddled up what is the number one major religious groups this is on Wikipedia again

it's different from the stats are different from what I saw there apparently Christianity 31.

2% Islam 24. 1% Irreligious affiliate basically non-religious 16% Hinduism 15. 1% Buddhism 16. 9% Folk religions 5. 7% other religions 0. 8% Judaism 0.

2% I thought that would be larger how come it's such a small amount it's one of the world major world religions I thought it would be just a lot bigger percentage and what about Roman Catholic or Catholics they must be putting that into the same band of Christianity but it's not you know Catholics it's about the first Bible not the New Testament how can Catholicism not be one of the top ones that don't make sense let's have another look this will give me a different glance Christianity Islam again it's not giving me Judaism is quite

popular in Israel let's have a look atheism agnosticism agnosticism Bahá'í what the hell is that the Bahá'í faith is essentially a spiritual ideology that teaches the value of all religions espousing the importance of universal equality and unity I like the sound of this one Bahá'í Ullah the founding figure in the Bahá'í faith clearly named after him isn't it or her Bahá'í Ullah officially established his ideology in 1863 in Persia or modern day Iran as something of a hybrid of other faiths Bahá'í Yah grew out of the traditions of Babism I like the sound of that

what's your religion I'm a Babist I'm a babe which itself emerged from an Islamic denomination called Shaikhism today Babism exists with a few thousand adherents concentrated largely in Iran and standing separately from the exiled in Buddhism so they're not listening in order of basically alphabetically Buddhism is next Christianity Confucianism so I used to study that when I was younger Confucian Confucianism I think part of the reason because I used to watch Kung Fu on telly a TV show and it was like stop hiding my white stick you know stuff like that Confucianism was a dominant

form of philosophy and religious orientation in ancient China one that emerged from the teachings of Chinese philosopher Confucius who lived 1551 so I've got a lot of time for that one Druze refers to an Arabic ethnoreligious group Gnosticism refers not to a single religious orientation but to an interreligious phenomenon in which one various groups across an array of regions involved Hinduism is regarded by some as the world's oldest religion likely dating back to what is known as the Indian subcontinent as the Vedic age during this period 1500 to 1600 BCE I don't know what that

means civilization, tradition transition from tribal and pastoral living Islam so the next one Jainism, that's the one I was trying to think earlier ancient Indian religion that according to its adherents can be traced through a succession of 24 sagely teachers the first of the the the and Jainists believe the soul is an ever-changing thing bound to the body only for a lifetime which differs in Judaism it's one of the oldest there's 14.

3 million adherents of Judaism that comprise only 2% 0. 2% of the world's population 14. 3 million people that's a lot isn't it still only 0. 2% of the world's population wow Rastafarianism apparently there's 700,000 of them Shinto 800,000 Sikhism apparently there's 128 million Zoroastrianism blimey 190,000 traditional African religions wow there's loads of those wow didn't know that African diaspora religions wow see I've given you a history of religion there where else would you get such quality hmm where else so that is yeah it's the end of this recording it's been going on for over an hour now it's probably time to say goodbye to thank you very much for listening have a lovely evening and remember to be kind to yourself because you deserve to be happy lots of love bye bye