#391 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (6th May 2020)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. The purpose of this recording is just for me to talk at you for roughly an hour.

And that's it really, just about boring stuff and each recording is different yet exactly the same. So it's one of the good things about it, but also one of the really worst things about it. I want to say a shout out, this is a big shout out to Rachel who's had a bereavement.

So I just wanted to send my love to you. I realize you may not be listening to this, but even if you're not, the energy is still there. So that's my message there.

So I was thinking, doesn't often happen. So tomorrow I should be getting, I ordered some PPE, PPE, protective poo editing, I don't know what it's called. But I got PPE coming for me, personal use, because I'm not a nurse or professional worker.

I've ordered it online on Amazon. And it's, I've got this face masks, which go around your ears. You know, so I don't know how many come in there.

Let me have a look if I can find it. I'm just on the tablet seeing the laptops being charged. Where is the Amazon? So hopefully, continue.

Okay, here we go. All right, it's logging in now. So I should be able to see what I've ordered.

So I can tell you recent orders. So I've got a 10 pack of surgical face masks, three ply, three ply, three layers, sealed bag. Now, I don't intend to go out more than as far as you know, going into shops more than 10 times, hopefully before this stuff's over.

But you know, but what I'll do is I'll wear it. I've got a little plan. I'm not going to wear them when I'm outside.

But in the bath, when I'm in the bath, I'm going to wear them. Just as a tester, just to see. Okay.

So I've got these 10 packs of surgical face masks. I've got 20 pairs of white cotton gloves. And I couldn't get any of the like the plastic things that you you know that you can get because there's a huge waiting list for that.

So what I'm going to do is these are more for work gloves for coin jewelry inspection. But there's 20 pairs. So I'm going to just wear them, wear one pair when I go into a shop, supermarket, bus, wherever, and then get home and I just chuck them out.

Or I suppose I might be able to wash them. I'm not sure. White cotton gloves.

I guess I could wash them, couldn't I? And or I might just chuck them out. And also I've got a joy or death thermal balaclava face mask, outdoor sports mask, hood, hat, black. So basically it covers the whole of the head other than the eyes.

And I wear glasses. So my eyes will be protected as well. And it goes, it basically just goes over your head, which is the best way to get things onto your head, I suppose.

And it's quite like covers your neck as well. So the only problem, um, the word thermal jumps out and it's not the weather for thermal stuff, is it? So again, what I'll do is I'll put it on. I won't wear it in the street, but if I have to get on the bus, I'll put it on and, or maybe I will wear it in the street.

We'll see. I don't care if I'm a little bit hot. Just take it on the way for a walk.

I'm not bothered. So I'll keep myself covered. So that's the plan.

And it costs me, how much did it cost altogether? 40, 40 pound, I think it was. The surgical masks are £13.79 and, oh, okay, no, yeah, £13.79. And the gloves and the balaclava are £23.98. So the gloves and balaclava are coming tomorrow and the face masks won't come till the day after, I think. But there was no way, I've been looking to get this stuff for weeks and weeks and weeks, and there's nothing available.

Now on Amazon, they're still giving preference to, like they should do to, you know, medical places. And in some places, some ones are available, but you don't get them till, like, the end of June. So I thought I'd just spend a bit more and get one from local, someone where I could actually get them delivered as quickly as possible.

So that's what I've done. I ordered them on, I think, Friday. It's now Wednesday.

Yeah, so that's pretty good. Always wanted to wear a balaclava, haven't I? Well, I used to wear a balaclava when I was a kid, when I had a paper round, because it'd be so cold in the winter, riding around all that wind. And, you know, so I'd wear a balaclava.

Yeah. But the thing is, there was quite a few versions of this balaclava. Not from the same company, but some of them had faces on them, like scary clown masks and stuff.

I was tempted. I really was tempted, and I still might. Especially if the lockdown is reduced, and they say, well, I need to lockdown if everybody wears masks and covers their faces, you know, and they'll be, you know, for the next year or something, then I think, yeah, I'm gonna start being a little bit naughty and get some really horrible looking masks to wear.

Yeah, it's part of my plan. Every day will be Halloween. Oh, yes, oh, yes.

So that's, yeah, I'm quite pleased. Well, I'm not pleased. I've had to pay out money for this stuff, but it's no option, really.

What is it, going to a shop? Hardly anyone's wearing any protective equipment. I see a couple of people in the street. There's this one lady that's, she had one, and yeah, she was walking behind me as I was going into the park, and she looked around.

She looked at me like I was going to attack her. Like, come on, man, get a grip, get a grip. Just, you know, come on, calm down.

So I kind of walked into the park so she could carry on on the paper, on the path. Perhaps I should have said hello. Maybe next time.

I'll say hello really loudly. Hello. I really like creep up behind her.

Just trying to be friendly. See here, they're coming. I bought a book the other day.

Admittedly, it wasn't a lot of money, £5.98. It's called The Strangest Secret by Nightingale, Earl Nightingale. It arrived. Where is it? Okay, I'm going to get it.

Oh, wait a minute. Oh, it's dispatched. I've not order placed.

Oh no, I've not received that yet. The Strangest Secret. I ordered it.

Oh, please don't tell me I've got another book. I've got something else stolen from my, from my, oh, I've had stuff stolen from the, I don't know what you want to call it, outside my front door, basically. I've had at least one package stolen.

And sometimes the post person leaves mail on the floor. The other day, they actually left a bank statement. Stuff that you could use to copy, you know, to steal someone's identity, really important stuff.

I had a bill left out there as well. I said, Bill, come on, what are you sitting there for? Get in. Bring Eric with you.

It's just so, it's like, how complicated is it? I imagine if you're a postie, your job is being a postal delivery. You're delivering letters. And every door, most doors, not every door, but you know, 99.9.9.9% of front doors or back doors have letterboxes.

They're generally built with letterboxes. So how would that be complicated? To put a letter through a letterbox? I don't get it. It can't be that.

I mean, when you get to the front door, I think, oh, I've completely forgotten what I do every day. What do I normally do? I walked up to the door. I don't know.

What's this stuff in my hand? I just leave it on the floor. I wonder what I'm supposed to do with it? Put it through the letterbox. It's very, very unusual behaviour.

So yeah, sometimes I actually have to open the door and check to see if there's anything on the floor outside, which we shouldn't really have to do, should we? But I don't complain. I just did, I don't complain to the correct people. Because that would be logical.

I've got this book by J. Earl Shoff. And it cost me £2.97. I'm not sure if it had any postage on it. And it is literally 23 pages long.

Now, you might think two things. First of all, why am I buying a book that's 23 pages long? I didn't know it was going to be 23 pages long. And you might also ask, why are you buying a book on how to be a millionaire when you make out you're not interested in money and you don't do stuff for money now? Well, the reason I bought the book is because one of my favourite motivational speakers is called John Roan.

Is it John Roan? Oh dear. Where's the thing? So I used to use in the laptop. It's weird using a different thing.

John Roan. Bob Roan. Bobby Wobbly.

John Roan. Well, anyway, all I've got to do is just look at my phone and get that information. John Roan.

Oh, Kristen Meyer has just downloaded one of the two bulk downloads 101 to 150. And 151 to 100. And 101 to 150.

Deep Sleep Whisperer. Okay. And so let's have a look.

Library. Jim Roan, not John Roan. Jim Roan.

So I think Zig Ziglar, his mentor was Jim Roan. I think that's the, I think that's the order of things. But anyway, so he used to talk about Jim Roan and his mentor.

I was like, I'll just ignore it because I'm listening to him. And then I thought, let me check out this Jim Roan. Let's see if he made any recordings.

And he did. Did lots. And he is phenomenal.

I mean, just unbelievably amazing. Yeah, my words, I can't, I can't do justice to how brilliant he is. Well, he was, I mean, he's passed away now.

So Zig Ziglar. But I used to listen to Zig Ziglar back in the late 90s. For the motivation, positivity stuff.

I had some books of his as well, I think. I think it was called See You at the Top. Had nothing to do with mountaineering.

And so I listened to Jim Roan. Because back in the day, back in the day. See, I think I'm old enough to say back in the day, but you hear like a 14 year old say, back in the day, like no.

You got to be over 40 or 50 to be able to say back in the day. If you're 20, no, doesn't work. Back in the day.

What do you mean six months ago? Yeah, back in the day. And I used to listen to a lot of motivational recordings, because it affects me positively. And I know they're supposed to, I know that's kind of the reason for them.

But it really does. Like for me, it's, I think it's the whole term, shit in, shit out. So positivity in, positivity out.

Confidence in, confidence out. Motivation in, you know, so it's having good stuff going in to my ears, to my mind, to our brain. And maybe physically, from an edible perspective, I'm not eating great food.

But then I'm not eating bad food either. I haven't had a takeaway for months. Literally, I had a burger just before all this stuff kicked off.

So it was, I think, three months, three months ago. So it had been January. So in January, even though this was still kind of starting to get news, I went to the Wimpy, had a burger.

And I had my psychologist. And what was it, February? Might be February. Yeah, February.

I think. I lose track. I really do lose track.

February. I wonder what that sound is in the background. Hello, baby.

I've gone to have a drink. He's just like me, you know. I don't go to the toilet on the paper.

But whenever I get up in the night, because he's been, he was asleep. Whenever I wake up, I go to the toilet, do a wee wee. And then I have, I have some water.

I always have a drink of water and then go back to bed. Always. So that's probably the only healthy thing that I've done over my life, is drinking lots of water.

Although I drink less water than I used to. I always used to drink water. I still do.

But I only drink about one bottle a day now. But yeah, anyway, Jim Rohn. I went in late 90s.

But it wasn't just then, because I do fit to myself. I forget that in the early 90s, I used to listen to Buddhist meditations and stuff like that. And yeah, and it was the late, I say late 90s, like September, October onwards.

97. So it wasn't that late. But yeah, 97.

Tail end. I started listening to lots of self-help tapes. And Thule Theatre, anyway, all those kinds of stuff.

Ken Livingston, Seagull. The Alchemist. NLP ones.

The Anthony Robbins. And then Zig Ziglar. I discovered Zig Ziglar.

He's funny. And I just like the way he talks. He's got a very Southern way of talking.

Or is it like Texan? Yeah, I think Zig Ziglar was a Texan. And yeah, so I listened to, I had loads and loads and loads of audio tapes. And I continued to listen right through to, well, continuously, really.

There's been times when I didn't at all. Times when I listened to lots, and then times I just gave them all away. And now with Audible, and with YouTube, I listen to stuff on YouTube.

I listen to some of them on Audible. Anyway, the story. So I discovered Jim Rohn, because I thought, I better look him up.

Zig Ziglar keeps mentioning him. So I look him up. As can believe.

Because for some reason, I thought he wouldn't be as good as Zig Ziglar. But he's better. Different.

Different. Better is not the right word. But for me, better.

He covers more. Zig Ziglar is very about being positive and sales and stuff. Jim Rohn is, I don't know, he does it in a different way.

And brilliant. And then Jim Rohn started talking about his mentor, J Earl Shoffe. And I was like, well, how far back have I got to go in time? So I saw a video of him.

It's a very small clip on YouTube. And this Earl Shoffe, brilliant as well. I was like, wow, he's been in black and white or something.

I just, whoa. This was like probably from the 60s. So I got his book.

And it's just basically a transcript from a talk he did. And there used to be a CD with it, I think originally. So yeah, I don't know what year.

Let me have a look, see if I must take my glasses off. In this 1962 audio recording, you will hear the exact same presentation given by John Earl Shoffe that changed Jim Rohn's life and helped him become a millionaire within six years. So they're trying to sell this book on the back of Jim Rohn, who is the more famous of the two, kind of.

And then, and then I discovered Earl Nightingale, who is, if you've never bought any or listened to any of these recordings or bought any of these self-help books, well, if you have, you'll see Earl Nightingale. I think it's Earl Nightingale and Conant is the company or the publishers. Andre's decided to go and get fruity again.

Why does he do it every time I do a recording? I don't get it. He just shouted, yeah, you don't get it, do you daddy? But I do, look, I'm getting it now. Very rude.

Yeah, that's Earl Nightingale. Phenomenal, again, phenomenal. He does these talks, video, there's quite a bit of video of him.

And it's just, I don't know, it's just this amazing stuff. The only way, not the only reason, but part of the reason why I can't, I can't really do positivity recordings. I do positive recordings, but I don't do positivity.

Oh, come on, my face is there. Look, camera covered. Oh, okay.

That's weird. Okay, right. So I'm trying to log into my thing.

I tell you what it is that stops me from some of that stuff is they're always successful, aren't they? I don't know if you know what I mean, but all of these motivational self-help positivity gurus or writers, authors, speakers, they're all successful. All of them have made, or most of them have made a lot of money. And they're best selling authors.

And they'll perhaps travel the world doing talks about how they gained their success. See, I can't do anything like that, because I've had no, I don't have anything. I haven't been successful financially.

So it kind of almost feels a bit false that I can't tell people, I can't tell anyone how to make money. Can you imagine if I say, hey, I'd like to just, I've got this really good plan on how to make millions. And I'd just like you to be the publisher of my book.

And they say, okay, we'll have a meeting. I really like your book. It looks really good.

Perhaps, but unfortunately, the office is being closed due to being declaimed. Is it okay for me and the other executive from the publishing house come round to your place? And we can, you know, finalize the deal there. And they come here, looking around thinking, okay, so where have you spent those millions of pounds on? We thought you said you're as rich.

Success comes in many different forms, my friend. I did think earlier, I don't know why, I was just having a thought of maybe writing a little book for people at working call centres. Just some advice on how to be successful.

Because I do know that. I know my way around that kind of sphere, from the communication perspective, not from the IT perspective, or how to use a computer systems or, because it's going to be different for every place. Just from a very basic stuff, like telling people, no matter how rude the customer is, be nice to them.

Because the second you're rude to a customer, that's the sale gone. And just little things like when you answer the phone, stand up and answer the phone. If you read a script out, stand up and read the script.

So it has a little bit more push to it. You know, it puts a little bit of energy into it. So if you've just been on a call from someone to drain you a bit, and then you take the next call, you're still in the same physiology.

If you stand up, say hello, welcome to Jason's harem. And you know, whatever the company is. That's what I did.

And I was the only person doing it. Because we had to do this thing at Churchill. Other people started doing it as well.

But I stood, luckily I was sitting near a window, which was good. Much prefer to be sitting near a window from working somewhere all day in an office. So sitting near a window and when I first started there, it was just, hello, welcome to Churchill Insurance.

That's it. Then they gave us a script to read. Hello, welcome to Churchill Insurance.

Before we go any further, I just need to read you this script. And it was like a whole A4 size of writing. Absolutely ridiculous.

Ridiculously bad customer service. You know, it's just, from a sales perspective, you might as well just said, thanks for calling, but we're really going to do everything we can to put you off actually giving us any money before we start. Just want to annoy you right at the start of the recording of the call.

And it got to the point where we're doing scripts, we have to read out stuff every single time. Right at the beginning, in the middle, at the end, for the direct debit, for the card payment. Oh man, it was just so much.

And I think I said to them, why don't you just read the script, the beginning bit, to them while they're on hold, waiting to be answered. And they said, oh, it's an idea. And I'm not saying I'm the reason they did it, but eventually I think they did start to do that.

But I might have made that bit up. I probably did. Just to make myself sound good.

So I've not quite finished the... He's very distracting. I've not quite finished the website uploading all the stuff yet. I'm very close though.

And I've got 300 and I think it's probably about 60 left to upload. New pages for the Let Me Boy To Sleep. The Deep Sleep Whisper ones are all done.

The Relaxation for Stress are all done. And the Hypnosis Weekly all done. So it's just the Let Me Boy To Sleep and there's about 60, maybe less, left to do.

But it's so boring. It's really boring. And I have a boring tolerance.

I mean, I literally have to go and lay down and go to sleep. It bores me so much, it sends me to sleep doing it. I'm not even joking.

I was doing one earlier and I just finished it, put the lid down on a laptop and just went into the bedroom and I was asleep for about two hours. It's just so boring doing it. It's okay if it's a one-off.

It's like adding a new page is fine. But adding hundreds and hundreds and hundreds, one after another, uploading and then adding another page, uploading. And how many was that? I've now got 390 Let Me Boy To Sleep in this.

Let me work this out on a calculator. 390. Where's the calculator? Okay, there you go.

390 plus 217 deep sleep whispers plus 120, something like that, relaxation for sleep. And another 39, it's actually more than that, probably about 45, but 39 plus two. 766 recordings that I uploaded.

Although I have still got a few left. See, and I wonder, it's just, and that's not even all my recordings, that's just these. That's about all the stuff that I've put into bulk, recordings like the sleep and self-help stuff.

Blimey, blimey, McCarty, whiney, whiney, whiney, whiney, whiney. Let's see, it's, I wonder what the stats are. No, don't do it.

No, I'm not going to do it. I promise I won't. I won't.

So I've now got loads of boxes in here. So I had my delivery from Amazon. So I had, that came over the weekend.

So I had two boxes of Cokes, 24 cans each. I had two packets of toilet roll. I had a jar of jam.

This is like all they had, the options. I had a big packet of washing up tablets, washing machine tablets to wash my clothes. And Persil, I think.

And what other things? Yeah, a couple of bags of sugar, a tin of coffee, and and three boxes of water. It was about 90 bottles of water. And what other things? I had a couple of little chocolate bars, some Aero Mint, but they were about a pound each.

So I found I've got three of those. And some biscuits. Again, so I didn't, I didn't spend a lot on that stuff.

I just got a couple of little bits there. What else did I get? I'm sure there was something else. Yeah, because there's no food, not really.

It was just bits, bits and bobs. I got some soap. So I've got some soap.

So I've now got enough soap to get me through for, yeah, I've got, and some washing up liquid. Yeah, I think that's it. So I've got enough toilet roll for the next three months.

I've got enough, enough soap for the next three months. Should have enough toothpaste for the next three months. I've got enough water probably for the next three months.

I've got enough, yeah, I've got enough shampoo for the next three months. Sugar, I don't know, I've got three bags in the cupboard, plus nearly a whole bag in the container. And I'm now eating breakfast cereal that doesn't have sugar on it.

I've got some breakfast cereal as well, that's it. So there's enough there for one, possibly nearly a month of breakfast cereal. So there won't be any sugar at all for a month.

So I've probably got enough sugar for the next three months. Because outside of that, I only put sugar into coffee, and I only have one cup of coffee a day. That's all I have, just one, with my breakfast.

I don't drink coffee any other time. One of the things, I've actually got enough breakfast cereal for much longer, because I've got porridge sachets. So I've got quite a few of those that I bought before all this stuff happened.

So I've got enough deodorant to last me for the next three months. Yeah, so I've got enough of that kind of stuff. The only thing is the food, you know, it's the, the freezer's getting pretty bare.

I can now see the bottom of the freezer. And it means I've got to go into, I have to go into a shop. So I can't get deliveries.

I can't even get pick and collect, or do they call it click and collect. And anytime, you know, I found one last week that was for the 11th of May. But it was the other side of town, and what if there's no taxis? There's no point going through all that process just to have two carrier bags and carry them home on a bus.

I can do that by going to a local shop. I don't need to do that for a supermarket. So with my nice equipment that's coming through.

Another thing, with the chemist, or the pharmacy, I don't know why we call them pharmacies, we used to call them chemists. Now we're supposed to say pharmacy. Spelled wrong as well, PH, it should be F, shouldn't it? Pharmacy.

And I went in, yeah, I phoned them up last week. And I said, where, where's my bloody prescription? And she said, is that Jason? I said, yeah. She said, thought so.

No one else swears at us like that. I said, yeah. She said, we're calling the police.

You know that, don't you? I said, yeah, I know. Sorry. She said, no, too late.

Anyway, I said, where's my prescription? And because I haven't received a text message. Every month I get a text message from them saying your prescription's ready to collect. And they've got a special little counter where you can actually collect your prescription if you've been sent an email.

Yet they don't use it for that. Everybody goes to it. Anyway, I said, I just, I haven't received an email or, or text message rather.

Why, why, why? What's going on? They said, no, your prescription's been there for 11 days. I said, why didn't I get a text message? They said, because it's not complete. I said, what, my phone number? They said, no, the prescription.

Said, you've had 11 days, can't you just put it into a bag? She said, no, not like that. The Depakote, which I take for mood stabilisation, mood stabilisation, the Depakote is not available. They can't get it.

They can't order it. This may be because of what's going on in the world, or it might be because of the Brexit thing, who knows? And I said, what do you mean it's not available? And come on, don't be so silly. Come on, just get it for me.

I don't like being told no. Just do it. Just do it.

No, you can't. Oh, come on, just for me. And I said, well, why is it not available? And she said, well, basically, the, that is the trade name for that product.

The generic one is available. Sodium Alproate or something it's called. I said, well, let's just put that on then.

We can't. She said, what do you mean you can't? She said, don't mock the way I speak. I said, I'm not mocking the way you speak.

She said, good. She said, well, the reason behind it is because if your doctor fills a prescription out and it says Depakote, just like if it said Prozac, then we could only give you Prozac or Depakote. The fact that you get fluoxetine on your prescription rather than Prozac, it means we give you fluoxetine.

And it's a generic drug and lots of companies make it. Lots of companies make the Sodium Alproate, which is Depakote, but Depakote is the trade name. I said, just give me the proper medication then.

She said, no. I said, give me the proper medication or I'll kick your sandcastle down. She said, that's a really strange thing to say.

I said, I know. We're not even allowed on beaches, are we, at the moment? She said, no. I said, what do I do then? Andres decided to eat his food right behind me.

You hear that? What am I talking about? Yeah, I said to her, listen, mate. I said, what do I do? What do I do? And she said, you need to speak to your doctor's surgery. So she said, the rest of your medication's here, but I don't want to go twice.

And I said, well, is there a chance you can deliver my prescription? She said, yeah, it cost you £5. And I said, oh, and you have to pay it by card on the phone. I didn't have £5 in my bank.

So even if I did pay, even if I did have the £5, I'd be paying for a part of the prescription. I'd still have to go back and collect the prescription, the second bit. What's going on? So I found the doctor's surgery, didn't answer.

Very hard to get hold of these days. So I phoned up my psychologist, and she didn't answer either. Left a message, she got back to me, and I said, look, here's the situation.

And she said, well, I'll get the psychologist, the psychiatrist rather, to change the prescription to the generic name. Because, you know, and should get there, should do that tomorrow. This is on Monday, so it's now Wednesday.

So I've left it. I didn't do anything yesterday. So what I'm going to do is phone up the doctor, or maybe I'll phone up this, the pharmacy first and see if they've got it sorted.

If they haven't, then I'll phone up the doctor. And I thought they'd have a bit more time because they've got a lot less people, a lot less people going into the doctors these days. Apparently, apparently, apparently, apparently, apparently.

The children's wards, there's less children going to hospital now than there has been for years. And it's put down to hand washing, because kids are dirty anyway. But they don't have to be, they don't care about that stuff.

It's not natural, is it? Washing your hands isn't something that we're born to do. We're not born with that instinct to be clean. I think not, especially boys aren't.

And females, naturally, this has been, this has been actually tested and studied. It's not my own opinion. I think men are way more hygienic than women.

But this is just, mm-hmm. Apparently, women, and there's a lady who's an expert on this. And she studies, what is it called? There's a name for it, but there's like a fun slang name for what she does and to do with disgustingness, the level of disgust that we have.

And apparently, men don't get disgusted at stuff as easily or as much as what a female would generally. So, again, it's not my, these are things that I read and see. And, you know, interviews with specialists that I watch or listen to.

It's not my own opinion. I have no opinions on anything apart from Andre being a pain in the bum. He wants to go out again.

I took him out earlier. I took, and this was late. This was after eight o'clock, starting to get dark.

And I was determined. First of all, I was determined not to take him out. But then I felt so tired.

I thought maybe getting out in the air would give me a little bit of, well, oxygenate my blood, you know, get me pumping a little bit and wake me up. So I thought I'd just walk around the corner with him and then bring him back, you know, so be out for 20 minutes. Straight away, he wanted to walk, walk into the field.

And I said, no, we're walking this way. And then the very last entrance into the field, I thought, oh, why not? Oh, dear. Anyway, we ended up walking down a pathway into the field.

And it's beautiful. It was like sunset. And I love it when he's asleep.

It's much cuter when he's asleep. So the sunset and there's beautiful pictures, really nice. And there's trees.

And I was starting to think, oh, I should start maybe taking some pictures. And I thought, I don't want to see that again. A bit boring the first time.

So, and then we get to the end of the path. And I'm going to turn back. And we turn the corner, there's another path.

And I'm thinking, okay, we'll walk up this path. So basically walking like a mile or two into the field. And he still didn't want to turn back.

In the end, I had to pick him up and walk back until he got frustrated and wanted to get down again. And then he was able to walk the way I was going. I was literally just laid there and I was dragging him.

I didn't realize I was dragging him. He refused outright to walk in the direction I was going. But it wasn't because he was tired.

Because as soon as I walked up to him, he started walking the other way. So he wasn't tired. He was just being stubborn.

Has to have his own way all the time. So he gets a nice, nice long walk. Gets to sniff lots of stuff, lots of digging.

And, you know, it's perfect really for him. Because all the smells and it's the fields that's his, I guess that would be his natural habitat. If he was in the wild, although I've never once seen a ferret in the fields.

And he's digging, trying to get into holes and stuff. And I'm scared that one day the thing, the harness that he's got will snap and he'll just be in that hole. And that's it.

And there's no way of me getting him out again. I suppose if I move quick enough, I can stick my head. I could stick my head right in there and yell it in.

I could stick my hand down and grab his tail and pull him back out. But I've nearly lost him a few times to ditches and, you know, just running off. Although he did come back to me twice.

Once over at the school when he went through the railings and I jumped over and landed on my back, lost my glasses and couldn't see nothing. It was pitch black there and I was calling him and he actually did come back to me. Another time I ended up in the ditch.

I was trying to find him and I ended up scratching and hurting my arm and my leg on some big metal thing that was in the ditch. I couldn't get to him and he came back to me. So that was nice.

But I don't expect it. You know, I've seen him in the park sometime and he runs and he's completely, it's almost like he's looking for a fence to climb under. And once he gets under the fence, I can't get to him.

I mean, realistically, I probably could just break through the fence. All I'll do is lean on it. My big fat belly would probably just break the fence.

But it's not good. It's not neighbourly, is it? It's not a way to make lifelong friends with your neighbours. And then my friend did that.

Because he had a ferret as well. And he let him off the lead. This is near the main road.

And he was keeping an eye on him so he didn't get, he moves quickly so he could catch him. But he let him walk along this fence and he just went underneath the fence. So I would never let Andre off the lead like that.

And he went under the fence. So if that had happened to me, I'd have been completely buggered. Because no way I could have got to him.

So my friend, he tried to open the gate, the gate was locked. He climbed over the gate. And Andre, his ferret was in there, playing within the pond.

Now, from various different levels, I would not have been able to do that. In all fairness, we did knock on the door. I knocked on the door and they didn't answer.

Because I wouldn't just like climb over someone's fence. I couldn't climb, I'd still be there. Two years later, I'd still be stuck on the top of the fence.

I couldn't do it. I haven't got the, you know, he just like jumped over it like he was a young child, you know, that kind of flexibility. I just, no, I think it would have been a construction issue, I think.

There'd just be helicopters flying over, there'd be a whole new, yeah, I'd be a new landmark. Yeah, there'd be like coaches driving past. Yeah, and here's the famous Jason, stuck on a fence.

Been there for 15 years now. No one can ever move him. Please don't feed him.

You know, that's the problem. We've been feeding him, people feed him too much and then they can't get him off at all. They were hoping he was going to lose weight so we could get him off, but please don't feed the Jason.

So yeah, I just, that could happen. It probably won't. It probably won't.

Well, it didn't. It didn't, no, it didn't. He's always, Andre's always seemed to look like looking for somewhere to get away.

And I understand from one angle of like, well, he's got a harness on and it's probably annoying to have a harness on, to have a lead, to not be able to do everything he wants to do. But it has got an extension so he can go a heck of a lot further now without, he doesn't have to stay by my side the whole time. But maybe that's what it is.

It's maybe why he's getting a bit cocky because he's going much further away from me. And now he can't understand why he can't continue to go further because it's a little bit easier to control him when he's right by my side on a lead that only lets him kind of go a little bit further away from me. I do like the extension lead though.

It's just nice to see him just wandering around and I can control it so that if he's about to run down a ditch, I can reduce the length so he can still go down a ditch a little bit, but only far enough for me to be able to pull him back up. If he doesn't come back himself, he always comes back himself. Usually.

Occasionally I have to pull him out, but he's pretty good. But guaranteed, if I had him off the lead, like I used to let him go off the lead in the fields, and it's not a good idea. He'd go down the ditch and I'd chase him down there to catch him and he'd go even further down so that I'd end up falling in.

And I fell in the ditch twice. Twice. The first time I really took him out, I fell in the ditch and it was muddy and it was water in the ditch and I was stuck and I didn't know, you know, I was going to fall into the water.

And I had him, so I was trying to hold him with one hand, trying to find something to hold on to with my other hand to get me out. And I was just caked in mud. Yeah, I should have been there.

It was brilliant. I sold tickets next time. It was great.

Yes, great. Yes. That was the end of another boring recording.

Thank you for listening. Remember to be kind to yourself. Lots of love.

Bye.