#379 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (18th April 2020)

Hello, hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name's Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes.

I'm laughing because in the background Andre is scratching at the front door trying to get out. The barricade that I put there, which is a television unit, which I used to have my television on, now that it's on the wall, not the unit, the television. And so I used the television unit because it's got like the flat top and I put it against the wall so that Andre couldn't really can't get underneath the door or scratch at the carpet and stuff.

And he doesn't like it. He does still have a scratch but then he gives up. Well now, probably about half an... You want to come and give me a cuddle? No? About half an hour ago, I heard a scream from him.

I didn't know where he was. I didn't know if he was in the bedroom. It was like proper... It's a scream that normally is when he gets his fingers, his hands caught somewhere or trapped or his tail caught, trapped, something like that, which doesn't... I'm trying to think how it happened because his nails are short and I've got all the doors tied back so he can't get his tail caught.

So whenever something happens, I try and redesign the flat just to become suitable for him. And so it's like a really high-pitched like, oh. So I run out, turn the light on in the hallway and he's at the front door.

But whatever it was, he sort of walked out and he climbs up on me and he's hugging me. So I think he's a bit shook up by what happened. The only thing I can guess is the cabinet must have... Maybe the way I pushed against the door, he unlodged it a bit and it fell on his foot or his tail or something and sort of trapped him temporarily.

So I've had to... Well, I haven't had to, but I have removed the cabinet from the front door now because I only allow things like that to happen once. Obviously, I don't expect it to happen, but if something happens like that, I think, well, no, that's it. So he now has access to the front door to scratch all he likes again, which is a bit annoying, especially early hours of the morning.

I'm not a big fan of that because, I don't know, I can... Downstairs, when I'm in the hallway, I can hear him scratching at the front door. So I'm thinking, can the neighbors hear him? And if the neighbors can hear him, will they complain? So, yeah, I don't know what to do. I mean, the other night, I was so fed up with him doing it, even with the cabinet there, that I ended up putting him in his cage.

I cleared the cage out and it's got to be... I didn't realize this, it's got to be a year I thought it was just like the summer, but I think it's nearly a year, even more, since he lived in that cage or slept in there because there's something in there that wasn't, was only in there for... Like the other ferret that used to visit and he passed away in January last year. So I'm thinking, oh, it's got to be at least a year since he's been completely sleeping out here in the living room or wherever he wants to sleep 24 hours a day, you know, instead of putting him to bed when I go to bed, which is what I used to do.

I had to clear the cage out and put him in there because he was just... It was three o'clock in the morning or 3. 30, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, really, really going for it.

And I was trying to make recordings as well. Not so bad when I'm making these ones, although I think people have become a bit accustomed to a little bit of, a little bit of Andre running around and perhaps making a little bit of noise. He's not noisy, noisy.

There's a bit of crumpling here and there and, you know, I'll give him cuddles and stuff, but it's not... I can't have it when I'm doing... Well, ideally I wouldn't have it when I'm doing this either, but I can't have it when I'm doing the Deep Sleep Whisper ones and I can't have it when I'm doing the Sleep Hypnosis Weekly, which incidentally, I've just done another one of those yesterday, a few hours ago. I did two versions of the same recording, Sleep Hypnosis Weekly, number 39. And one's got music added to it and one's just me talking.

So that's been added to my podcasts. Also did Deep Sleep Whisper, I think it's 213, number 213. You think about, well, you don't have to think about it, but I'm going to think about it.

That started off, Deep Sleep Whisper, I'm pretty sure that started off as a seven-day course. Seven-day course and now 213. Wow.

I suppose the same way the Relaxation for Stress and Anxiety one, that started off as a 30, even 34 days, I think. Did 34 days in a row when I made those recordings at the beginning of about two years ago. And then I stopped because it was a bit too much.

I was doing it every day. It's like, ah, I kind of almost run out of things to say. And I stopped.

And then I had it on YouTube and various other podcasts and stuff. And it just got, for some reason, it started to become popular when I uploaded it in November 2018. Just like slowly became popular without any kind of promotion on my part.

And now I've done a hundred and how many? 118, I think. Something like that. So that's quite cool.

It's quite groovy. I also just, I've always got things to say when I do this recording. I suppose handy, really, isn't it? Considering it's me talking.

And a couple of comments, couple of shout outs to people. And again, I haven't posted a thing yet. I need to do this on Facebook to thank the people.

I did it yesterday to say thank you for helping me to pay for my website for the next month. I've decided, I've took the adverts off. I'm going to keep the adverts off of the podcasts as long as my expenses are covered.

And so if I can't cover my expenses by people listening, I don't mean this in a rude way. I hope it's not coming across as rude. But just generally, I can't actually financially afford out of my own pocket because I'm unemployed.

And I'll still do it regardless, but it just means it's a struggle. But the last couple of months, I have had it covered for the website. The podcast hosting is in a couple of days, I think.

That's due. I've already got some money towards that as well, thanks to Boston Chickie, who gave me more than I needed for the website hosting. And I've got a couple of other people that paid towards the website hosting.

In fact, I had one person paid me the exact amount for the website. So I need, is it 70? I don't know how much. Is it $77 for the podcasting? I think it is.

I've got about $54 in the PayPal account. So if anyone wants to help out with that, it's PayPal.me forward slash Jason Newland. But there's also a link.

But it's not a link. If you go to the menu on my website, there's a link, a page which has the running costs of this service. I also included the internet charge as well in that.

But I haven't. It helps if I can get some of that paid as well. Definitely the website and the podcast.

There's also other expenses. They're kind of a little bit hidden. You know, things like that I've paid out for my tablet, phone, laptop, stuff.

But I have had help with other things as well. I've had help to buy the laptop. I've actually had someone buy me a laptop in the past.

It did break, unfortunately. I had someone buy me microphones. I had people help towards getting a camera, which I'm intending to sort of get back into use soon.

And so I've had a lot of help and I do appreciate it. And so I want to say thank you for that to everyone. Regardless of whether you, you know, I'm not, the one thing I'm not is a beggar.

I don't beg. I won't beg anyone for anything, unless it's food. And I will knock on your door asking for food if I'm hungry.

I've got no pride. My belly, this belly takes maintenance. You can't keep a big round belly like this without plenty of chocolate.

So the second I can't afford to buy chocolate and feed this belly, I will, I'll still keep doing the web stuff, the, you know, the podcast, but I will have to start knocking on neighbor's doors for chocolate. A little bowl. Well, I won't take a bowl around.

I literally, I will just walk around with my mouth open so people can place chocolate in my mouth. I can eat it there and then. Walk around with a little fridge.

They could put it in the fridge for me. I don't know. So, yes, it's a big thank you.

I read out a couple of messages as well. I love getting messages. It might sound strange.

Maybe it's an egotistical thing. Possibly. I don't care really.

But I get a real kick or a boost. A boost is probably better than a kick. I get a boost, an emotional lift when someone says to me, they send me a message, a positive, telling me how I've helped, you know, being useful and stuff.

Whether it's my email address or a comment on the comment page on a website or through Facebook or Twitter or wherever. And yeah, it's just really gives me a nice little lift. Actually, it's a big lift, in fact.

And so, yeah. So thank you. So I've got a couple of, what have I got here? So let's see if I've got, I've got a message here.

A message. This is from Georgie, sent me a message on Facebook. She said, number 378, bored to sleep is being blasted through my phone right now.

I love them. Thank you for being my sleeping guru. Kisses.

So that's, that was three minutes to 10 last night. I'm sure I had another message. Did I have a message from? I'm just having a look at the, someone said, what type of music do you listen to? This is from Ariana.

So Ariana, type of music I listen to. So if you, this is, if you've got any questions for me and you want me to do a little shout out, or want me to say hello to you or your family. And if you've got any questions or you want me to answer, then please just contact me.

You can contact me on my comment box. There's a comment page on the website, Facebook, Twitter. Jason Newland at hotmail.co.uk is my website, my website, my email address.

Yeah, man. So what kind of music do I like? You know, I'm very eclectic. I like that word, eclectic.

And it's just another word for not, not fussy really, isn't it? But I think like most people, I have, my favorite eras would probably be as far as sort of memorable music would be sort of maybe from the age of 10, 10 to 25 probably for the ages of, or maybe seven, an age of maybe seven or eight to the age to about 25 when I was sort of that period of time when I've got a lot of memories of music. And then after that, I still, cause I was a DJ for four years, wasn't I?

So I wasn't, I didn't, you know, I used to volunteer my time as a DJ. And so I was very up to date on music for, you know, that period.

Still played ABBA, but you know, it's, I didn't know what was in the charts. And we, I think we went through a really good period of dance music in the late 90s, early 2000s. And it was more, it wasn't, I've not really been into like house music or garage or, but there was a period when I think maybe the music, they turned that stuff that was being played in nightclubs, underground, it became really popular.

And then I had to explain this, but it's, I played the popular stuff. I was very, my disco was a wedding disco, really. And, you know, if I learned to drive, I probably would have been a wedding disco DJ, you know, possibly even now, because it's not, it's not hard to do.

There's not really any mixing, a little bit of mixing, but that can be, it's a hell of a lot easier now than it used to be. But I just, you know, I used to have a turn, used to play CDs, but there was a mixing desk and I could just mix, basically just fade in one in, fade in one out and fade the other one in and try and sort of match the rhythm a little bit. Didn't always work.

You know, it's really hard to, you know, to move from Dancing Queen to Firestarter. You know, it's a very different kind of, you know, Dancing Queen. It's like going down.

I'm a fire starter. He's a fire starter. I can't, can't do it.

But yeah, didn't always work. But I would play, would I? It was Firestarter. Yeah, it was.

Yeah, I would play both those songs. They're just very different things. My boss didn't like it.

He didn't like me playing the stuff that the audience liked. None of the staff did. The staff absolutely hated my DJing, but the audience liked it.

And it was kind of a conflict because, you know, my boss didn't like it, but he wanted people to be standing there and he wanted people staying to drink. But the staff wanted to go home. So they wanted people to leave and go home so they could go home early.

If I played the music that my boss wanted, which was like really up to date, proper nightclub music, the audiences would just sit there. Not always, sometimes they'd get up, but a lot of the time they'd just sit there and just, because the music was, I don't know, maybe it was too fast for them. Who knows? Because there's a lot of hen nights, stag nights and stuff.

And the audience, you know, people would leave and the staff would get to go home early. But the club would be making less money, but I don't know, maybe not. Maybe the balance between the staff leaving and getting paid less because they've left early and the amount of money from the alcohol.

I don't know. I'm not sure. But you know, I could play like the most modern stuff and I did buy the modern stuff as well.

People could just sit in there looking around, put on Dancing Queen or Wake Me Up Before You Go, go wham, bang, dance lawful straight away. And that's what people didn't realise is I was the one doing the DJ and I knew. I did it every Friday and Saturday for four years.

You can't do that without knowing what you're doing, in the sense of reading the audience. I didn't always read the audience perfectly. I once played Downtown by, I don't know, like a 60s song and I honestly thought my boss was going to kill me.

He came into the DJ booth and I thought he was going to pull a gun out. He was so angry. But I turned it off.

I never, I destroyed it. I didn't just destroy it. I actually went to the recording company that recorded that.

It was in America, I think, California. And I destroyed the master copy of that particular song so nobody could ever reproduce it because I was so scared. But that's it.

Downtown, do, do, do, do, do, do, downtown. And I had a 60s mix. And to be fair, I was probably just being a little bit lazy that night.

And there wasn't many people in the audience. So I think it scared me. Honestly, stop shooting me.

So what other messages did I have? Let's have a look at my wonderful phone. Oh yeah, what music do I like to listen to? Okay, let's go back to that. I haven't even answered the question yet, have I? Let me think.

Let me have a little twiddle of my brain. So my period would be probably, as I said, like late 70s. My first memory of music was sitting in my, I was a baby or a toddler or very, very young, listening to Gary Glitter singing, I love you, love.

I love you. And, you know, he's not the most popular person in the world these days. But at the time, he was a superstar.

Superstar, like biggest act in the country at the time. And I didn't even know who he was back then. But the radio kept playing him.

And unless, of course, my mom would actually, maybe she invented a time machine, went forward to 1998, discovered what he was like and came back and just play the song over and over again on repeat, just to annoy me. I don't know, who knows. But I think my first interest in songs was probably when I was about eight.

Now, I knew about Elvis Presley, because it was the summer that I moved from the children's home, that summer, when I first moved into my dad's place, was when Elvis passed away. And I remember that day because it rained and I got absolutely soaked through. Honestly, absolutely soaked through.

It looked like I'd been going for a wee wee, standing on my hands. It was really completely covered. And I was only little, so it probably only took a couple of raindrops to get me wet.

I actually had to run around in the rain to get wet. And so it's an old joke. I remember that literally the heavens opened, is what I was told.

And then what else happened? What other songs? I don't remember much of 77. 78. I was still seven until August 1978.

But I think I get a little bit mixed up between when songs were in reality. And it means Googling it, and I'm not that interested to Google it. But there is the Grease album.

The Grease album. I think that was 78. Might have been 79.

But I think it was 78. Could be 77. But I'm pretty sure it was 78.

And my brother, my oldest, my older brother, not my youngest, because he wasn't born yet. The other, the one that was older than me, because I had two older brothers when I was born, both older, and one that was born younger after me. And I had, he had this album.

I remember coming home, and it was a double album of Grease, the movie. I think he'd been to see the movie. And I'm pretty sure that I also went to see the movie.

Because in them days, you had to wait for years for something to come on television. It really was, I mean, years, sometimes like six years before a big movie to actually eventually be on Saturday evening television. We had to make do with... Wow.

Just got distracted there. I heard something sound like Andre. It wasn't him because when I got, I literally actually had to put the recording on pause.

And he followed me because he was asleep. Sounded like it was sort of in the storage room or something. It's a little bit worrying.

Oh no. Anyway, what music? Yeah, there was a double album of the films in the 70s and the 80s. Used to have westerns on, but they weren't new westerns.

They were old films, like John Wayne, which would be anything back as far as the 40s, John Wayne. These westerns were like 50s, 60s, Technicolor. The other films that would be on would be musicals, a heck of a lot of musicals.

So I grew up watching musicals. I do like musicals, but again, they're all really old films, like Cary Grant and Bing Crosby. I was trying to think of the Frank Sinatra when he was young, although he never looked young, did he? Even when he was young, he looked middle aged.

In fact, I think he looked younger as he got older and kind of gradually turned into a big baby. I like Frank Sinatra. One song I really like is, it's not the New York, New York, although I used to sing that karaoke until I got banned from London.

I don't even know what it's called, but I've seen it on I think it was either a documentary, or it was clips of television shows where Frank Sinatra had been singing. And he was sitting at a bar, talking to the barman. And he just singing, I think it's something about a lost love or something romantic like that.

But the style of singing was really, really good. I mean, he was a really, really good singer, obviously a brilliant singer. But there was something about the way he kind of moved his voice with that particular song, really liked it.

Spencer Davis? Spencer? What's his name? The one who used to dance. He was in a really famous film, dressed as a sailor. He was American.

And he was a dancer, like the best dancer ever. The most famous dancer out of all the movies, above Fred Astaire. He was Bing Crosby, of course.

He was in loads of films. And Cary Grant. I like Cary Grant a lot.

A lot. I really liked the films he was in. Didn't watch all of them, but a lot of the romantic comedies.

Very good. Stuart Grainger. Jimmy Stewart.

Stuart Grainger was another singer. I don't know who he is, but I know this song called Stuart Grainger. But Jimmy Stewart, or James Stewart.

Get me out of here. I love him. Love him.

Because he was in It's a Wonderful Life, which is by far my favorite film ever. Ever, ever, ever. My favorite film in the whole wide world.

That and The Exorcist. No, that, that is my favorite. Not The Exorcist.

It's a Wonderful Life. Did I say It's a Wonderful World? It's a Wonderful Life. Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed.

Barry Sinclair or St. Barry, I don't know. There's the one that plays his uncle. I forget.

He's tied ribbons, little bits of string around his fingers to remind him of stuff. Might be Barrymore. Not Barrymore.

What's the name from E.T.? Is it Barrymore? Demi Barrymore? Barrymore? More Barry? Let me see. Drew Barrymore. I have to actually imagine her and seeing the name in my mind.

Drew Barrymore. So her dad was John Barrymore, wasn't it, I think. Didn't her grandparents were all so famous actors? I met Drew Barrymore once.

It was actually at the comedy club. And I said, are you Drew Barrymore? She said, nope. That's the whole story.

I knew it was her. She's not the first person to deny her identity in order to get out of a conversation with me. I've had family members do that.

So I do believe it was her. And if it wasn't, it was someone that looked exactly like her. Because don't forget, I've grown up watching her.

And she was, what was she? A couple of years younger than me. Maybe I think four or five years younger than me. So when she was in E.T., she was a little girl, but E.T. was 1980, wasn't it? So I was 10 or nine, and she was about seven.

So it's only a couple of years younger. And I've seen that little girl grow up on screen, be in loads of movies. She's also in Fire.

Is it Firestarter? Yeah, a film called Firestarter. And Cinderella and all of the, you know, Charlie's Angels and you name it. She's been in so many different films.

Her face is exactly the same. That's the thing, got the same face. You could say, we've all got the same face.

How would we be able to tell each other apart? No, I don't mean that. I mean, we've still got the same face that we were born with. Yeah, but some people look a hell of a lot different when they get older than they do when they're little.

She's got the same face even now. She's in a TV show on Netflix. It's a lot of other people, men and women, that don't look the same.

They're just, the face looks different. And maybe that's because of surgery or, you know, I don't think she's had any. She just, you know, Drew Barrymore's face.

Who's the one, what's her name, that used to be, she was in Dracula. Oh, not Keanu Reeves, but the girl, the lady that was in Dracula. She was also in that.

She's been in loads of films, hasn't she? She was in the film with Cher. You know, one is, it's not Splash. Um, Seagull, not Caterpillar, Starfish.

No, no, I think they're a different movie. What was it? You know, one where she sings, it's in his kiss. Yes, it is.

It's in his kiss. Oh yeah, it's in his kiss. But her, now I've seen her in loads of movies since she was young.

And she's probably, I guess she must be older than me. She might, no, she might be younger, I don't know. But she's, you know, probably around the same kind of age as I am.

Roughly, give or take a few years. She looks very different now to the way she did back then. Like this, her face looks different.

But Drew Barrymore, same face. I'm not saying it's good or bad. I'm just saying it's just something I've noticed.

Same face. Same face. It's the same.

So I look nothing like I did when I was a kid. For one, apart from the beard. But I do, I look different.

I look different. I don't, I was on the Rolf Harris show. And again, another person that used to be popular in England before his prison sentence.

And I've got a video somewhere of me on the Rolf Harris show. Because the whole of my year at school, in fact, I think the whole of the school, in fact, was on there, was on the show. And we rehearsed for months.

All these different songs, like I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. There's the blood, was it mud, mud, glorious mud. Nothing quite like it for good enough blood.

So follow me, follow down to the hollow, and there let us wallow in glorious mud. And it was coconuts, coconuts, some as big as your nuts. I don't know.

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. There they are, riding in a row. Big one, small one, some as big as your head.

Give them a lick, give them a lick. No, give them a kick off. I don't know.

But it's different. I can't remember. It's a long time ago.

I was in junior school. So that would have been, I'd have been about nine, possibly 10, but probably about nine when I was on the Rolf Harris show. So I figured when I watched, because I know that I was on telly quite a lot, because we all watched it.

Probably a few weeks after filming it, it was on Saturday evening. The whole family were there watching it, laughing at me. It made a change for them to laugh at me and actually be pointing at the screen, instead of just pointing at me.

So they were looking at the screen, looked at the TV, and I was shown quite often. But I've watched it and I can't see myself, genuinely cannot see myself on there. And I've kind of got a few people thinking maybe that's it, maybe.

But what I might do, bearing in mind, I've got no pictures of me as a child to show anybody. Literally, I've got nothing, not one picture of me as a child that I can show you, that I can put on Facebook, or let people know what I looked like when I was little. So what I might do is, I might get that video and download the pictures where I think it's me, maybe sort of look and figure out if it is or not.

And then do like some still shots of it and make some photographs. But how cool is that? It was really good being on telly. It was like, yeah, really loved it.

Loved every bit of it. Keith Harris and Orville and Cuddles was on there. Dollar was the group.

They were really big at the time. And yeah, absolutely loved it. It was brilliant, brilliant day out.

We were there, I think it was a Saturday. And we were there all day long. And it was filmed in a school, but not our school.

I think it was a school. Anyway, it was a big, huge place. And it's brilliant.

Really, really, really good. One of the highlights of my childhood, genuinely, one of the highlights. And just exciting.

You know, the build up to it, all the rehearsals, being told, you're going to be on telly. To all of us, all of you, this whole school has been chosen to be on the Rolf Harris show. And had this, this, it was like a booklet that had all the songs on it that we had to learn.

And it was great. Really brought the school together as well, you know, because we were all sort of learning together and singing in harmony, you know, whatever. I was in the choir as well, in junior school.

So I used to be quite a nice little singer back then. I'd forgotten all about this. I wanted to join the choir.

And in, basically, in our school, it was junior school, we didn't have chairs that we sat around, we all sat on the floor. So I think, I'm pretty sure that maybe I'm wrong. But I'm pretty sure that we just sat on the floor, like the whole, the whole time, because I left there at 10.

But maybe there was chairs, I don't remember. But there was a piano in that whole bit. And the, I asked the music teacher, if I could join the choir, because I was already learning the violin.

And she said, and I said, Can I join the choir? And she said, Well, come along and have a rehearsal. I said, No, I don't want to do that. What do you want me to do a rehearsal for? Just give me the bloody part.

She said, Excuse me? I said, What time's the rehearsal? She said, Well, if you come during lunchtime. So I did it. And she said, Do you know any songs? I said, Of course I know songs.

What do you think I am, six? Of course I know songs. Everyone knows songs. She said, I'm sorry, young man.

I said, What about Michelle by the Beatles? She said, Okay. So I sang Michelle. Actually, it might not have been that one.

Because that's got foreign words in it, isn't it? Like French. I wouldn't have even attempted to sing French. I couldn't speak it.

I wouldn't be able to sing it. Jude. Hey, Jude.

Hey, Jude. Yeah, it might have been Jude that I sung. Which just goes to show, going back to the original question, I loved the Beatles, even back then, even before I was 10.

But that would have been because of my dad, because he was, his period was in the 60s, you know, sort of during the Beatles and stuff. He was born in, I don't know, 1946, or 45, or sometime like that. 46 something.

So his, his like, late teens was in the 60s. So he had a very big fan of the Beatles. He still is, that's his favourite group.

So I, I guess I just, I heard him playing them. So I've got to fall in love with them as well. I love the Beatles.

I do absolutely love them. And the same thing happened with my brother. My oldest brother, he was absolutely fanatical about Elvis Presley.

So I fell in love with Elvis Presley, because all I was hearing was Elvis Presley songs. And he'd be playing videos of, you know, his thing. If ever there was a, an Elvis film on, would have to watch it.

And I just fell in love with, you know, Elvis. And then one day I was at school, high school, this was, I think. Pretty sure it was high school.

It would have been in the first year. So I was 11. And I think I was talking to my friend, who was in the canteen, probably eating sandwiches.

And I was talking to my friend about, I don't know what it was, but it must have been about Elvis or something. But the canteen lady, very snoopy, very, very listening, you know, always listening, listening in on conversations. Really like a great gossipy.

Honestly, sometimes I just, I go to pick up one of my sandwiches from the table and my fingers would go inside her ear, because she had her head sideways on the table. It was like, oh, I ended up with earwax all over my fingers and tasted horrible. So I just got a visual of that now.

Oh dear. She, she said, do you like Elvis Presley? I said, what do I do with you? She said, oh, I just, I've got an Elvis album you can have if you want. I said, okay, bring it in tomorrow.

But after that, they never talked to me again. And she said, okay, boss. No, no, I didn't say that.

I said, really? She said, yeah. I said, okay. Thank you.

And she did. She brought it in the next day. And she gave me this double album, which is Elvis Presley's greatest hits.

And this was what, 1981. I don't know how old the album was. It could have been years old.

I don't know. But I remember it had a brown cover. And there was two albums, you know, two LPs.

Vinyl, I think they call it, didn't used to call it vinyl back then. They were just albums. Because CDs were non-existent at that time.

And I, I had a record player that used to smell funny. But I liked the smell. And I'd just be reminded of the smell because it was one of those old, it was blue.

It was old record player that had a lid. So not a lid where you could see through, but an actual, when you closed it up, it could be, it could be a sewing machine in there, you know, who knows what I knew there wasn't a sewing machine in there because I used to play my records on it. And it didn't sound like a sewing machine.

But, you know, I used to have a little thing, I used to, the little pull down lock thing and open it up, pull the lid up. And then it'd be an old turn, turning disc thing player. And I was just like, wow.

I think the record player was probably about 20 years old at that time. And I took the oldest album home and I listened to it. It was beautiful.

But I remember opening it up. And just as I thought about opening it up in my mind, I've got that smell, that dusty, old, I don't know what it is. It might have been, I'm sure it was like some kind of felt inside the lid of the gramophone player or whatever it was called.

So I played the album and it was lovely. And I used, there's a couple of albums I quite liked that my parents had. One was the soundtrack to famous films, famous movies.

And, you know, obviously it didn't go, it only went as far as probably 1980. So they must have held the album for a year or so. But it included Fizz for the Dollars, you know, the spaghetti Western films from the 70s.

It had Superman. I think it had Star Wars, maybe Star Trek, Jaws, maybe, I'm not sure. Space 90, no.

A Space Odyssey, probably, as well as probably, yeah. I imagine, this is guessing, but my stomach, tummy's going all What other films would have been popular back then? There was no TV thing, theme tunes on it. It was just movies, really big movies, some that I possibly hadn't heard of previously, to listen to the music.

Yeah, so I used to listen to that. But it used to just be really nice. And I'd lay down on my bed.

And I'd listen to it, because it's just music. So there's no singing or, although I think there was a little bit during the Superman theme tune, where, if those who have seen the very, the original, you know, 1979 Superman movie. Now we've been 77, 78.

Might be earlier. Wow. Oh, my goodness.

But with Christopher Reeve, and, you know, that one, Gene Hackman is, is the Lex Luthor. Gene Hackman is about 600 years old now. So there was a bit in that movie where Superman is floying with Lois Lane, and this music, but she's kind of talking, sort of, she's not really talking, but it's like in her head, which is very, anyway, yeah, so it was voices in her head, but she was, it was kind of that loud part of the music.

And I think it was more like questions like, where are you from? How did you get here? I hope you don't drop me. How come when you're wearing glasses, I don't recognize you? You know, just things like that. And so that was good.

It felt very relaxed. Just lying on my bed, listening to music, very much relaxed my body and my mind. But I didn't know about relaxation back then.

All I knew is, it felt nice. And I started doing that more, especially when I moved upstairs to the top landing. I used to do that quite a lot, lay down on my bed, listen to, didn't really matter what it was I was listening to, tape recording, it may be an album from Madness, Best of Madness, or perhaps something I'd recorded myself, like a compilation from the radio or I don't know, copied off someone.

And I just lay down on my bed, really chill out, feel completely relaxed, and my mind would just slow down completely. It was really nice. But I seemed to stop doing it once I left school.

Or so once I got to probably like 14, 15, I was a little bit more hyperactive, a little bit more energetic. And not that I wasn't energetic when I was a kid, but for some reason, I think for a while I lost that contemplative part of me. I used to like to think about stuff when I was a kid, right from very early age, and just like ponder what it was all about, you know, how am I feeling? Just what's going on? Why are they doing that? Why are they saying that? What's the purpose behind what's going on here? And I didn't make much sense of it, if I'm honest.

So that's why I think that's why I love books so much, because it gave me, and I need to get back into reading books for fun, not just to learn new stuff, but for fun. Because anything I read is almost like a textbook, like new techniques, and new ways, and new ways of thinking. And I don't know, I do like that stuff, but it's, I need, not need, not need as in trying to push myself to do it, but I think I need, for me, to start giving myself some of that enjoyment back, because I loved books.

You know, I was, I can't imagine there was anyone at my local library when I was a kid that used the library as much as me, or more than me. I was in there getting books out, reading, getting another one out, new, just constantly, for years, big, big book fan. And I didn't, back then, I would read more than I would buy.

So I would buy books. And Christmas, birthdays, I got some brilliant books, especially astronomy. And so I was really, I was into astronomy for quite a while, had a telescope.

And, you know, my parents, generous, so generous, used to buy me these. I know that they would have been expensive, because at the time, I didn't know. I didn't buy books like that.

I used to get them as gifts. But once I started buying books, I saw how much books like that cost. Very expensive, because it's such a specialist topic.

And these books, I love the smell. Oh, you can't get that on Kindle. That's what I need to do.

They need to get a scratch, scratch and sniff Kindle edition. Really, the smell of fresh book. Oh, oh, it's just so nice.

So I went through periods when I was a kid. Because I didn't, I went through periods when I was really, I suppose just moods, I went through moods, when I'd be very outlandish and very outgoing, possibly. And then other times when I would just hide.

I didn't want anything to do with anybody. And there was one particular period I went through when I was, every lunchtime, I hid, I found a place that was near the classroom, but it was the back door to the classroom. And I hid there and had my lunch there.

And I read my, I was reading Star Trek, you know, the original show, but episodes that weren't actually made into TV shows. This is like writers made more of these episodes, but in book form. I did the same with Star Wars as well.

And I just read book after book after book. And I needed, it was definitely a distraction, definitely a distraction, but needed it, really needed it. And then I went through a period when I read loads of wilt books.

And I was, they're funny. And I was reading a lot of comedy books. And there was, what is it? Um, I'm saying erm a lot in this recording.

Uh, that's better. What was his name? I've got one of his books. It was a Adrian Moles diary.

Uh, age 13 and a half, something like that. And so I bought that book. And I think I probably bought a few books after that of his, of that one.

It was Sue Townsend, I think that wrote them. And I said, I said, I went through those periods. I would read astronomy books, textbooks on astronomy.

I had no idea what I was reading. I'll be honest with you. I didn't understand it.

I was reading about quantum physics and just reading about black holes, worm holes, and just, you name it, you know, all about just, I didn't really understand it. There was something about reading at a much higher level than, I just, it just felt nice. I was reading something that was a much higher level than I should have been reading at that age.

It was such an advanced subject. Because they weren't, you know, the lady book, the lady book guide to the stars, or they didn't have a really proper, um, proper, full on, I wish I still had them because I imagine I'd still struggle reading them. If I had all the books that I've ever bought and read, I would be able to fill this entire flat.

Every single part of the wall would be covered. Possibly I would need to also stack them on the floor as well. Been that many, thousands of books, I'd say.

And I went through a period when I was reading a lot of Buddhist books. And that was in the early 90s. Loads and loads of Buddhist books.

Like between 91 and, yeah, 91 I started and then it was about 90 to 95. And then I got rid of most of them. And then I bought a couple more in 96, 97.

And then I bought loads, loads and loads from 2002. I had, but then I donated most of them to the Buddhist center. So I'd, because I had so many, and I was living in my, in my flat, my flat, my little room.

There was no room for stuff. So I started giving books away. I had loads of books on therapy, philosophy.

I gave hundreds of books away to the charity shops, just to make space. There was no room. What other books? Oh, I was a real big fan of The Beat Generation.

And again, that was like early 90s. So whether it be Allen Ginsberg, Kerouac. And I can't remember a lot of them.

Was it Neil Cassidy? And there's lots of different ones. But I just used to buy all of the ones that I could get. And because they'd mention, I basically, I'd read it and I'd look at the bibliography, bibliography, bibli, whatever it is, or further reading, whatever at the back.

And also with some of those books, they'd mention each other. So I thought, well, I better read that person. And I remember reading Allen Ginsberg's Howl.

What a pile of his hard work, very hard work, and a very famous book. Then I kind of got into some of the other ones, other sort of writers at that time and famous American authors, including Charles Bukowski. So then I bought every book I could of his, including all the poems, books of poems, all of his novels.

And yeah, so loads of that stuff. I had most of his books at one point. And then again, like most of the time I got rid of those.

Yeah, that would have been 90. Yeah, I think I still had those in 95. I had loads of books.

And I was getting evicted from the place I was living in. So I had all my stuff packed in black bags. And I was putting it outside the front, going upstairs, putting it outside the front.

So I had probably, I don't know, probably about 10 bags, 10 black bags full of stuff, loads of books, and some clothes. And then I got talked to the person that I lived with that was also getting evicted, because it was his place. And then the came out, the dustbin men had took the black bags.

And I kind of didn't even care. I was basically, I was homeless. So I was like, okay.

But I managed to get, I got a job at Butlin's, and I didn't know where I was going to put my stuff anyway. So luckily, yeah, but it was a shame because I had a nice big collection, even stuff like Malcolm X, and some of that sort of period of time. Lots of books on Zen, Taoism, other things that I have, that I was interested in.

I also had novels as well that were, I used to get Time Out magazine, because I used to have the listings of the comedy clubs, and not just that, but I used to have What's Going On in London, and just generally, it was a really good magazine. And I used to have a regular book review. So I'd read the book review, if it looked good, I'd buy the book, I'd read it.

So I had quite a few books that I did it from there. I suppose I started to trust the critic, the book critic, or the book reviewer, whatever you want to call the person. And yeah, I read quite a few books and got those.

But books is my thing really, for a long time, just hasn't been for quite a while, even though I've got, I don't know how many books I've got on the bookcases, but 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 100, 110, 120, 130, 140, 150. I'd say probably about 180 books on my bookcase. I've got four bookcases, but there's only books on three of them.

They don't look very full, 180 books isn't a lot. It doesn't take up a lot of space really, because they're not like really thick, massive novels. They're more books about therapy, hypnosis, and a few Buddhist books.

I've got a few, I've got some novels there, but I've got about four, five Bukowski books, but the majority really is, I've split everything up into the organized things, into categories. So on the right hand side of the top is hypnosis. The next shelf down, the first shelf at the top is Milton Erickson hypnosis, anything to do with Milton Erickson.

Next one down is self-hypnosis. The third shelf down is hypnosis, just like various different books. And the fourth shelf down is hypnosis scripts that I don't actually use, but hey, it's still nice to have stuff.

On the next bookcase, I've got NLP books at the top. Then a shelf down is all counseling, psychotherapy, therapy books. And then the one down there is random stuff that I could use for these recordings, which I need to start doing a little bit more.

Down from there, I've got some like novels and books that, you know, just stuff that are quite good. The next bookcase at the top, I've got books on bipolar and stress. Bipolar books on stress and anxiety and a couple of books on Asperger's.

Going down, the next one is just kind of like, not self-help, but sort of like the alchemist and, you know, books like that. So they're there. Then the next shelf down, I've got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, seven books on Buddhism.

I've got a little New Testament Bible. And then the next shelf down, I've got just a bunch of books. A bunch of, yeah.

And then down from that is the next shelf down is hardback biographies or autobiographies. So there's not really a lot there. It'd be nice to get a nice... My collection of hypnosis books was really, really good at one point.

Big, big collection. I'd like to get that back. I'd like to have all that back.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

So that's it really. So I do like lots of different songs. Some of my favorite albums, Madonna, True Blue album, the Like a Prayer album.

They're my two favorite Madonna albums. As far as albums go, Sergeant Pepper for the Beatles. That's one of my favorites.

What's the Morning, Stalling, Glawding by Oasis. That was one of my favorite albums. What's the Morning, Stalling, Glawding.

So there's that. What else? Fast Car by Tacey Chapman. I suppose Elvis Presley's Greatest Hits.

Elvis Presley's Christmas album is one of my favorite all-time albums. The Cranberries, No Need to Argue. And there's lots, lots and lots, but there's some of my favorite.

ELO's Greatest Hits as well is something I like to listen to now. So it's, you know, I grew up listening to that. Lured ELO.

Lured ELO. I had two albums given to me. Was it two or one? Oh, I had an album that was, was it Boney M? I think I had a Boney M album and then I had a Bee Gees album.

And an album I got, and I think this must've been a present, was The Barren Knights. It was a brown cover and it's my favorite album, probably above everything else. That is probably my favorite ever album.

So if anyone has that as an MP3, The Barren Knights. And it had, I got a cold in me nose. Ah, jiggle toes.

Ah, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. And there was another one, a Frank Spencer song. And there was Matchstick Men.

And I don't know, it's, it's very brilliant. It's, it feels, when I listen to it, it feels good. There's a couple of songs I can get online, but the actual album, I can't find it.

And I would actually pay money for that. Not, I wouldn't want the vinyl because I don't have a vinyl player. But if anyone has an MP3 or can do a recording of it for me, oh, that would be, so it's The Barren Knights.

It's basically, it's a brown cover, but it's got little squares or pictures on it. It's got Frank Spencer on there. I'd have to look it up, the name of it, to actually give the right thing.

But most people listening to this would be asleep by now anyway. So Frank Spencer. Oh, I did a whoopsie on the carpet.

That's my Frank Spencer impression. So I'm going to go. Thank you for listening.

Remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy. And take care. Lots of love.

Bye.