#382 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (21st April 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You to Sleep, with background sounds of Andre the Ferret running around rambly, rambly, randomly rubbing himself up against various things. Right now he's on my big black squeaky chair.

He's climbing onto the little table next to it, sniffing around, and he's staring at me. And now he wants me to pick him up. Okay.

Goya, what do you want? What do you want? He needs to get his fingernails cut. I don't know where he's going to get it done though. I'm not doing it.

I'm not doing it. What's that on your nose? Please only listen to this when you can safely close your eyes. Are you okay? Give me kisses.

I've already taken him out already today. Already, already. Today, already.

I took him out and he wanted to... Oh, he wants to get down now. I just took him around the block and he... So that's seven o'clock. So it's still light outside, which is nice, considering a month ago it was dark at five.

And he wanted to walk into the fields. So I walk into the fields. I decided not to go all the way around, but just to go one path and then come back a parallel path.

But it's a different path, but it's just basically two different fields with a ditch separating them. Anyway, he seems to be enjoying himself and I've got him on my lead, which is, it's got a harness and a lead, but it's one of those... I've got an extension lead now, which means, you know, he can... I don't know how far it is, probably 24, 20 foot, six, 12. Yeah, I'd say about 20 foot long, maybe longer.

And so, yeah, it's still not enough for him though. He still wants to go further and further away, but he seems a lot happier with it than being stuck at my side. Because before he... He could never get more than about four foot away from me.

So I walk up to the end, go to walk back and he just lays down on the floor, refuses to move. And I have to carry him home. I pick him up, gets inside my jacket.

He lets me know when he wants to get inside and gets inside. And that was it. Until I walked all the way back, until I got back to the road.

Then he stuck his head out. Oh, why didn't you wake me up, daddy? I thought we're supposed to be going for a walk. I only wanted a little nap.

Yeah, sure. So I let him down and we just walked the rest of the way. I mean, half of the journey up the first piece of the path, he wanted me to pick him up, which I did.

I only needed it for probably 15 seconds. And he was completely rested. His legs were recovered and he wanted to get down again.

So it's, I guess he's got quite a fast metabolism, also quite a fast healing process as well. So it's kind of almost superpowers. And now he wants to go out again.

And I ain't doing it. I ain't, I tell you, I ain't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, I'm not. Not, not, not. I refuse.

No, I don't want to. I don't want to take him out. I'm not at this time of night.

I'm only going to take him out when it's light now. I don't want to take him out during the dark. And that's one of the benefits of having summer, isn't it? Even though people can't do what they want to do necessarily, but at least I can go out now and it's sunny.

Not early, late afternoon, early evening, still nice outside, sunny and stuff. So there's no point. What's the point in taking him out at 11 at night when it's dark? The only reason I take him out late at night sometimes in the winter is because it's going to be dark anyway at four o'clock.

So I might as well, might as well just take him out later. So what I'm really saying is I'm taking advantage of the nicer weather. Yes.

Take advantage is the right word, but he's taking advantage of me. So today or yesterday, when you listen to this, I'm actually making this recording early. Can you believe it? I'm making it, it's 21.42. So it's 9.42 in the evening on Monday.

This is going to be Tuesday's recording because I had a little burst of energy and I was going to make a deep sleep whisper and possibly a relaxation session until Andre jumped up when I moved. So I didn't have the option because they've been scratching at the door the whole time. I was going to take it into the bedroom, take the tablet into the bedroom, make the recording.

But yeah, there was no point because even if you can't hear it on the recording, it distracts me. It really does. If I do, if I do, for those that don't know what I do with the relaxation, hypnosis for stress, anxiety and panic attacks, it's a mixture of things.

I do relaxation sessions where it's just me talking and sort of guided relaxation. I do sort of hypnosis and I do maybe some techniques, relaxation techniques. And other times I will do a talk where I just talk about a subject or a mixture of subjects pertaining to a particular subject matter.

Let's say concerning anxiety or stress or maybe talk about my own experiences. And I think lately I've been focusing a bit more on the trying to put more relaxation sessions on there due to the present situation. And it might be more useful right now for people.

But then everything I do is relaxing, I think. I hope so. I like to think so.

But then I like to think that I'm an Adonis. So thinking doesn't necessarily make it so. Now I did, what did I do today? I actually went to the shops and I didn't want to, didn't want to do it.

Didn't have to go today. If you can hear that scratching at the front door. So I've taken the block, the blockage, blockage, blockade, whatever you want to call it, away from the front door because he got jammed.

He got caught in it. So now he's got access to the front door. So he scratches right underneath it under the carpet.

It's annoying. It is, it annoys me. It does annoy me.

I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't because it does. It's not, it's nothing, it just doesn't, doesn't fill me with happiness. It was quite weird because my friend who lives in the same block, same building, he used to have one, a little ferret as well, which is how I ended up getting Andre.

He was Andre's uncle, I guess, or granddad or something like that. And one day I heard scratching at the front door and I go, I'm sort of shouting, shouting Andre. But it wasn't from this side, it was on the other side.

And the other ferret had managed to get upstairs and was scratching at my front door, trying to get in. And every time I took Andre out, he'd try to get into the other flat as well because he wanted to see the other ferret. But when they were together, all they did was fight, viciously.

Although it wasn't vicious, it looked vicious, they never got hurt. But because we were both so protective of our little boys, it would have, we couldn't allow one to hurt the other. It just couldn't happen.

It wasn't, that particular event wasn't available. That eventuality was not applicable. It was not ever, we couldn't allow it.

So Andre being the younger one, when he was younger, my friend's one would push him around and take control of him. Because he was the bigger one and he and Andre was a proper little rascal when he was little. But he'd be put in his place, which is how it should be in that world, in the ferret, polecat world.

But then Andre got bigger and he started messing with the other one. He started sort of standing up to him and pushing him around. And the other one didn't want anything to do with it.

He just wanted to be left alone because he was getting older and he's passed away about a year ago. So he was, he was too, he just didn't want to bother. But the simple fact is the other ferret had a bite that was way stronger than Andre.

It was, he was rather, he was a lot stronger than Andre is. Because there was more polecat in him than there is in Andre. So Andre, realistically, he would have been in trouble if he'd have ended up, if they kind of really went at it.

But Andre's strong and everything, but he's just, I've babied him. He doesn't know what he's able to do. I've not told him about his powers.

So he doesn't know that he's got a strong bite because he's never had a chance to do it. But this other one used to bite people, you know, used to get to the middle of the arm and, you know, bite and then turn and just leave, you know, really painful. And it took weeks, did it to me once, took weeks and weeks to heal.

And because the owner found it funny. So I can't allow Andre, I stopped him right from the start to ever do that. Never, ever to bite another person, not like that.

He does nibble and he does play and he will play rough if you let him, but not even, not at that level. Just won't go to that, you know, and he won't do it with me. Even if I let him, he won't.

He'll nibble and he'll, you know, have a little play around, but he won't, he won't do anything to hurt me. Because I trained him right from the start, just with the word gentle, gentle. And he goes, as soon as I say the word gentle to him, his jaw relaxes.

Always, always happens. And I rarely say the word to him, but he remembers it. So he's a good boy like that.

Apart from when I'm asleep and he bites me to wake me up. But even then it's just a nip. You know, the only time he sort of draws blood is when I'm fighting.

He hasn't done it for a while, but it's when we're going at it. I'm on, he's on the bed and he, and I work him up. So basically I keep pushing him away and he gets carried away.

And I end up, you know, it's like biting my hands and my fingers, but not badly, but just it's the continuous scratching and biting. I end up with a bit of, a little bit of abrasions and stuff. But even if he's doing that, as soon as I say the word gentle, gentle, he remembers.

And if I say the word kisses, daddy kisses and he does. They're the only two things that he actually listens and follows that command. The kisses, it takes a bit sometimes.

Sometimes he doesn't want to be bothered, but the gentle one always, always listens to that. The no, the word no, he understands it, just ignores it. Usually, unless I'm angry.

Sometimes if he's doing something that's really out of order. And I say, you know, they say, keep scratching at the door and he keeps doing it and he keeps doing it. And then I go out there.

Sometimes I don't have to do anything. Just, he can see the way I'm looking at him and he just runs away. And he's not running cause he's scared.

Cause I don't, wouldn't hurt him. But he just knows that he's been naughty and he's gone over the line. Sometimes I say, come here.

And he does. And he doesn't do that in any other situation. But when he's pushed it, when he's been naughty, I say, here.

And he does. He runs over to me. He's a good boy, but they're untrainable.

Well, he's untrainable. Either that or I'm just unteachable. I'm just not, I'm not a trainer, am I? I'm not, I'm not a ferret trainer.

I don't know the first thing. I know a little bit about the Pavlovian model. And although I'm going to get a little bit more into it because there's so much to learn, so much I want to learn.

That's why I need an employee to help me out with some of this stuff that I do. So I can, I need someone to do all the, I need someone to do the recordings for me instead of me making them. And then I can read some books and just chill out, just absorb a bit of stuff, you know.

You know, this part of me feels a little bit guilty for the current worldwide situation at the moment. And I'll repeat this. I'm not going to talk about it, but, or even name it because I can't be bothered.

I don't like the name. The last thing I want to do is hear that word. But if you listen to this in the future, just, you know, look 2020.

You see, this is April 2020, UK, or the world, you'll see what's, what was occurring. It hasn't hugely affected me. And if as much as it has other people, it's not affected me financially in a sense of, well it has because I'm spending more money on food than I used to.

So I can't get deliveries and I can't face going all the way to the supermarkets and going through that process. So I'm buying locally, I'm buying like the local corner shop. Well, it's not, it's not on the corner, but it's, you know, the local convenience store, which means I'm paying a lot more than I would be.

Or if I go to the garage, so instead of paying £3 for six cans of Coke, I'm paying £1.10 for one can of Coke. You know, things like that. And I guess it does, it's not like a huge amount, but it is taking most of my money.

That and bills, the bills still continue, don't they? But I do feel grateful that I'm not, you know, that I'm not self-employed because when I was self-employed before, I was ill for like two weeks, 10 days, two weeks, and I never financially recovered from it. I ended up having to borrow money off my dad just to pay my rent. So how on earth I can be able to get through not being able to work for months? It just, it would have just been, whoa.

So that's part of the reason why I'm making more recordings at the moment. I'm trying to be a bit more available for those to benefit from this stuff that I do, from the sleepy stuff, the relaxation, just to, it's not, it's not really about getting more people listening, although that does give me a buzz and a lift, but that's more to do if I'm reaching more people and hopefully helping more people. That's the bottom line.

Otherwise, you know, there's other things I could be doing. I could, where I could reach a bigger audience, you know, I could go on YouTube and do a controversial YouTube channel where I'm saying some really outlandish stuff. Or I could, you know, there's other things I could be doing where I could reach a bigger audience.

But, you know, I think it's, for me, it's important to kind of stick it, stick and do what you know, stick what you, stick to what you, or me stick to what I feel is useful. Because otherwise there'd be no point doing it for me. And so I'm doing a bit more.

I'm trying to do the deep sleep whispers regularly. And as well as the sleep hypnosis weekly, I'm going to try and keep doing those every week. Doing two, two versions, one with music and one without.

So I'm just basically recording it. And then I'm adding music as a background for the additional recording to give people the option. Because some people like it with music, some people like it without.

I would prefer without. That's just my own personal preference. And I, yeah, I like, but there are, not in all situations.

That's true, actually, I suppose. I wouldn't, yeah, I guess it would depend. It would depend on who I was listening to.

And yeah, probably. So, but, yeah, it's all down to personal preference, isn't it? So I like to give the option, which is why I've not just made one recording for chronic pain and one recording for sleep and one recording for anxiety. And, you know, like some people, it's like one recording.

I've made hundreds and hundreds and hundreds for the same thing. To give variety. I think variety is nice.

It's nice to have, you know, it's just something different. It's something that most people don't offer. So I'm just, it's a little bit different.

A little bit. And anyone, to be fair, anyone that makes a recording, it's got to be different from anyone else's anyway, because we're all very kind of unique people. I mean, all of us.

I'm talking about humans. Everyone does things in, well, I do it in their own way. But some people, I'd say it took me a while to find my own style.

I would say I found my own style now. My own way of doing it. And I would say that that's happened over the last few years.

A bit more conversational, even the hypnosis stuff, a bit more conversational, a bit more flowing, a bit more relaxed, sort of the way I am. Not that I used to be tense, but I would, yeah, I hope, I hope I've improved. I do.

I mean, there was a time when I thought about just giving this all up and not doing it anymore, because I just lost interest. And now I'm, in some ways, probably my most interested that I may have ever been in some ways, because I've embedded it into my life. This is my life.

This is what I do. And if I was to, if I was able to go out and work, I would very likely make, well, I'd go weeks probably without even making a recording. I do a few recordings a month, like maybe 10 maximum, if that.

Because, you know, in the old days, I was probably doing 100 recordings a year. I could do that a month now. I could do that a day.

No, I can't. So even though 100 a year is cool, I mean, that's two a week. There's probably been some years when I've done less, possibly made only 60 recordings.

I really don't know. So I'm kind of, there's a bit of gratitude, a little bit of feeling of gratitude that I'm able to spend time doing this, but at the same time, not having to. And if I need to go to sleep, go to bed, sit for hours, feeling sorry for myself or whatever, I can do that as well.

So there isn't really any pressure on me to make these recordings, other than the pressure I put on myself. And I try not to. I try to do them because I want to do them, not because I have to.

Although I kind of feel that I have to now, just due to the amount of people that have told me how they rely on the recordings, and look forward to the new recordings, and listen every day, and stuff like that. So yeah, it's quite cool. I feel wanted.

I feel needed. I feel useful. Useful.

Maybe. I do wonder though, I sometimes think, oh, what's it going to be like in the future? What am I going to be doing? Because I'm doing quite a lot. At the moment, on a good day, I'll make three recordings.

On an average day, I'll do maybe two, at least one. So I make a recording every single day. And if you go through the year, I imagine I average probably two recordings a day, I guess.

I must be doing about 600 a year, if not more. Which is quite a lot. But I'd also like to do, I'd like to get more pain relief stuff.

Like to focus on that, but there's a part of me that just doesn't want to put energy into something where people aren't listening to it. So I don't have any podcasts that are popular for the pain relief. Yet the pain relief recordings that I can do are really good.

Really, you know, useful stuff. It's hard to know, unless I launch a new pain relief podcast and, you know, really promote it and sort of mention it in every, I don't know, it might sort of grow, maybe. Yeah, perhaps that's what I need to do, like launch a new one, completely fresh, and call it something.

Gotta call it something, gotta have a name, innit? It's gotta have a name. I don't know what a name could be. But it would be, yeah, and then just make sure it's on iTunes, Spotify, and all the major places.

And perhaps if it took off, I'd quite like the idea of doing one pain relief recording every day. Or, you know, regularly, like I do the Deep Sleep Whisper hypnosis recordings. So one every day or every two days.

And I'd love to see that grow, the audience grow for that particular podcast. Simply because there's millions of people out there that could find it useful. Yeah, we'll see.

We'll see. We'll see what happens. So I went to the shop today.

So it was nice weather. I laid down, not in the shop, but I had my breakfast. This was about 3.40 in the afternoon.

So I was watching Minder on telly, my favorite program to watch. And it finished at 3.40, 3.50, something like that. No, 4.50. And I watched the news for a little bit.

And then I just, I think I went to laptop and I do, I'll tell you about it in a minute. I've been doing some stuff on there. And then I went to, I thought, I'm going to lay down.

And I was thinking, because yesterday I decided I'm going to go to the shop, the supermarket early this morning. Couldn't face it. And I didn't need to go out today.

I've got enough food for the day, but there was part of me thinking, it's nice out there. Do me good to get the exercise. I'll walk up and walk back, listen to some music on the way out.

And on the way back, hopefully get in there. There's no one around. I'll quickly get my stuff, couple of carrier bags full of stuff.

And then I'll just walk home, which is what I did on Thursday. I think that's the last time I've been out Thursday to buy any food because I'd run out of milk. So I didn't have any, I just had enough for some breakfast cereal today, but for tomorrow, you know, breakfast, cereal, coffee, I had no milk for that.

Now I do, so I went and got some. But I was laying down, I was thinking, I don't want to, because I knew that I had to have a wash before going out because of really, really bad smell that was coming out of my underpants. I just thought, I just got, this is just, I was smelling my armpits and thinking, would I want to be in a room with someone that smelt like me? And the answer was no.

So I got myself all cleaned up. And I didn't need to tell you all that detail. So I'm very clean now, very clean.

And put on clean clothes and everything. So I'm all nice and clean. I'm clean.

I am. I'm clean. I've got everything's clean.

Very much so. I mean, yeah, when I say everything, yeah, I'm clean. That's what I'm saying.

I don't, I don't stink anymore. And so I get ready. I think, okay, put my clothes on.

I've put all clean clothes on. I go out. And I decided to do that rather than lay down and go back to sleep.

Because if I'd lay down, or I did lay down, if I'd stayed asleep, well to be fair, I can fall, that was loud, that was excitable, wasn't it? For some reason, and don't ask me why this is, I can fall asleep like really easily. Like really, during the day, especially. During the daytime, I can fall, just lay down, curl up, and I'm asleep.

It's at night, I don't have, I can sleep at night, but daytime is my sleeping time. That's just what feels natural to me. Even if I've been asleep at night, I can still sleep during the day.

So that's the difference, is when I stay awake all day and I sleep at night, what I tend to do, I go through periods where I'm not doing so well, like in my head, and I'll go to sleep during the day. Yeah, I'll still sleep at night, and I get nothing done. But this way, I sleep during the day, and if I need to sleep extra, I will, and sometimes I'll even sleep early evening to like 10, 12.

But there's a period of time during the night, like 12 to 6, where I'm on it, you know, I'm awake, I can do stuff, and I feel alert. And sometimes I get a little bit tired around three, three o'clock, but then four o'clock, I kind of come awake again. It's weird, I don't know why, I kind of get a second wave.

And sometimes I can, I'm fine till about eight in the morning. But I don't, I don't sort of aim to stay awake till eight. But if I'm doing something, and I'm, you know, working on a website, or I've recorded quite a few recordings, and I'm editing them, uploading them, working on the websites, building the pages, and all that stuff that's connected, building images and stuff, designing images.

This is a time consuming activity, which takes concentration. And I suppose there's a bit of stimulation involved in it as well. So, and I enjoy doing it, I'll be honest, I do enjoy it.

And I think I've got the best website that I've ever had. Did you think I was going to say the best website in the world? No. But I think I've got the best website, version of my website that I've had.

I've had lots. I would say this is really the best one. And there's more to come, there's more going to be added to it to make it better.

But I've really, really worked it, put a lot of time and energy and, and I don't know about creativity, but I've definitely, yeah, I'm pleased with it. And what makes it for me, I don't know why it might sound a bit strange, but it feels more valuable to me, because people that listen to my recordings are actually paying for it. And so I haven't had to pay for the website for the last two months.

And also on various previous as well. Because some of the listeners will go to a website, go to the running costs page, and they make, they sort of give a PayPal gift to help cover the cost. And because of that, again, it's going to sound a bit strange, but because of that, I, I'm not able to delete anything.

I can't. Because this website is no longer mine. It's yours.

It doesn't belong to me anymore. Because if I'm not paying for it, it doesn't belong to me. I'm not sole in control.

I am. Ultimately, I'm the one building it and looking after it. But because I'm not paying for it anymore, hopefully, depends next month, who knows, if it's not paid for, then it's going to get deleted.

But I feel more responsibility towards keeping it going, working on it, and making sure that I don't delete it. Like I have hundreds and hundreds of my websites over the years. So I almost feel a bit more adult, a bit more, not professional, but responsible, maybe towards the website.

And the same is with a podcast. Now, ultimately, I mean, there's a chance I could get rid of the podcasts. And there is a cheaper version of doing it.

But I just lose so many listeners. I'd go from 4,000, 5,000 listeners a day to maybe a few hundred. Because it everything would be changed.

All the different podcast hosts wouldn't know where I was. And, you know, so it's um, it would be a real, really, really silly thing for me to delete my podcasts from the podcast host I'm using Spreaker, because it's all set up really well. It all connects and, but it's kind of expensive.

And it's going to go up in January or was it December or November? I don't know. But I've got a 40% discount. So it's 70, it's $73 a month, which is just is getting paid in a couple of days time, 23rd, I think of April.

And it's the 21st today or whatever, it's going to go up to about $120 a month, but not till sort of the end of the year. I hope that they give me a discount again, but whether they do or not, I don't know. They might sort of not make me but put me in a position to accept $120 and then maybe offer a discount at a later date, which is what they've done before with some of the other packages.

So I've gone through every single package they've got. But, but, but, but, when I went into the website last week, there was a limit to how many downloads were allowed. And it was way above what I'm getting.

I think their limit was like 60,000 a month. And even on a quiet month from over 100,000 downloads a month, I couldn't get down to 60,000. It just be really difficult to get back down to that such a low number.

And they got a thing where they're charging $2 per thousand or something over. I think I worked out that's just unmanageable. I would, if that is, well, I'm hoping because I'm with them, I'll be with them for a while, I'll just continue as I am.

And maybe that that deal is just for new people that just start because of people like me that use up too much of their resources possibly. You know, all the different podcasts I've got and how regularly I post and upload new material. Because I think it's fair to say most podcasts do not.

They're not as regular as I am. And some are, some do one every single day. But most, most probably don't.

And most wouldn't do sometimes up to three or four a day through different podcasts. So aren't I a hero? I just, yeah. I mean, luckily I've got that paid for this month.

And I had it paid last month as well by you or, you know, people that are listening. And so that's really, I'm grateful for that. It makes it more, I feel almost like, I don't know if the right word is appreciated or that the service is important, important enough for people that listen to actually want to make sure it's still available, you know.

So what I'm going to be doing is, yeah, there's a few things I'm going to be doing. I'm looking forward, looking to do as well, to change stuff, to improve. I'm not going to, I'm not going to be deleting anything.

I'm just going to be improving what I've got. But what I have done, and I'm doing at the moment, as we speak actually, I've got a Microsoft account, which is $5.99 a month. And I've included that, I pay that with a PayPal account.

And that's, I've only got that for this, for this service. And so I put all of my recordings are uploaded onto the OneDrive. So it's backed up.

So I've got one terabyte of space. So I'm now making sure that everything is safe on there. And I'm also going to be organizing stuff, and links and all that stuff.

So I'm going to be using the word and and using some of the software that comes with a Microsoft package. So that's, that's quite good. So I'm in the process of uploading my stuff onto that drive, the cloud of OpenDrive with Microsoft.

So that's going to be saved. So that's one place. Yeah, another place, but it's safe, as long as I pay the $5.99 a month, it's going to be there.

So yeah, quite pleased with that. Another thing, I can also have private files on there. So I can, I can make a recording and only make it available to specific people.

So that interests me in a way, sort of, maybe do it as a reward, if I had some kind of competition, even though I've not sent out the prizes for my last competition, to the three people that won it, due to the post office being busy, and everyone's standing right close to each other. And I just don't feel, don't feel safe doing it at the moment. But I've got all the, I've got the disk drives, I've got the envelopes, I've got everything all there.

It's just a case of getting them weighed and sending them out, but I am going to do it. So I apologize to Natalie and Boston and Rachel, was it Rachel? Yeah, they are definitely coming out to you. As I said, I purchased all, everything that I just needed.

And it's a bit, it's not a very good service, is it? I'm terrible. My service is awful, my customer service, but it is, it will be coming eventually. Just, it's just been a bit, yeah, it's been strange times.

So I walk, I walk up to the shop and get there. I noticed that, because I did the same journey on Thursday, listened to the same music, same album, which was ELO's Greatest Hits, on the way there, and listened to Bob Dylan's Greatest Hits on the way back. And I walked faster there and faster back than I did on Thursday.

I didn't even feel like I was walking faster, but I just did, because the song, and I can't remember the ELO song, but it's, it was the one with the telephone call on it. I mean, this is the line saying, she was very pretty. There's that line, we try to work things out, but I know.

And, but that bit was, I was walking down the end of the road on Thursday, looking to cross and go across the main road. But today, that part of the song didn't play until I was at the bridge. So I was walking a lot quicker.

And on the way back, the, how does it feel to be on like a rolling stone? How does it feel? How does it feel to be on your own, like a rolling stone, when no one else is home? Why don't we have a nice jam-covered scone? Whatever. But that's, I like that song. And again, that was much, much further into the journey back.

So it was okay. When I got there, I was sort of prepared for people to be around. But for the first time, there was nobody in the shop.

I couldn't believe it. So I kind of got the stuff, got a basket, got what I needed, milk, bread, couple of papers. What did I got? Some croissants, some cans of Coke, and some margarine as well for my bread, butter thing.

And that's, yeah, that was it. And milk. So I got that.

So that was it. Paid for it. A couple of Cadbury's Creme X. You've got to treat yourself.

And paid for it and got out. And just as I was paying for it, someone else came in. So I got out and it was just like really nice just to not to get away from everyone.

And because last time I was in there, some bloke just came up and just stood right next to me. Even though there was a queue of people, he just clearly, you know, doesn't even need to be said out loud, does it? He's just... And I walked back, listened to the music. It was lovely.

It was evening though, because when I got home, it was seven o'clock. Was it seven o'clock? Or was it half past six? I think it was half past six when I got home. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was about half past six.

And then I took Andre out just after seven. Yeah, because I didn't want to watch the... It's weird. I haven't watched EastEnders on telly for ages.

It's got to be a few weeks anyway. And I figured they just... Because they make it, I think they make it months in advance. So I just assumed that they'd stop showing it.

Then I saw it was on. And this was on at eight o'clock. I was only like 25 past eight.

And I thought, oh, I'll have a little look to see if they're keeping up with the times. And the first scene was a pub full of people. And I was thinking, how can you put that on? How can you... You're supposed to be... This is supposed to be representing reality.

And it just don't work. It doesn't... Because they try and make out that in real time, in a sense of, you know, if there's an election or there's the... Let's think about it. A royal wedding or New Year's Eve, Christmas, that kind of stuff.

They have... They show that stuff while it's happening. They fit it in and they show it at that time. So the Christmas Eve episode will be on Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve on New Year's Eve.

Yet it's a pub full of people. And I think they've missed an opportunity to actually sort of tap into what's going on, you know, in the world and how maybe, I don't know, bring a little bit of lightness, a little bit of life and something. But I watched it and I just... I think I watched four minutes and that was enough.

You know, it's really weird. It's really weird when the whole world is in lockdown and EastEnders is still depressing. It's still too depressing to watch.

But now... Oh, man. So, yeah, I'm feeling okay today. I'm quite pleased I didn't go back to bed now, because I nearly did, really nearly.

Even earlier, when I got back from doing that thing, taking him for a walk, I easily could have gone back to bed, but I didn't. And I think it's probably because I had a headache yesterday and now, because I don't, it went by the end of the day and I was okay during the night. So I almost felt like I lost a day.

I did nothing. Didn't go out, didn't take Andre out, I don't think, unless I did. Did I? I can't remember.

I might have done. And I made one recording during the night, but I didn't do any of the sleep or any of this relaxation stuff. So I'm hoping tonight, I mean, as I said, it's still only 10.30, so I might actually make a couple of recordings and release them before the end of the day and then release this tomorrow, if that makes any sense at all.

I don't know if it does. Oh, do you want to hear my Roger Moore impression? What was it? Hello. How are you? Yes.

My name is Bond. James Bond. No, that's not very good, is it? I'll be watching Roger Moore on telly recently in TV shows that he did before he was James Bond.

He was already a big star. Sean Connery wasn't, was he? Before he did Bond, I think he'd done some acting work, but he wasn't a star. And then he became a massive star because of James Bond.

Roger Moore was already the saint and he was in The Persuaders with Tony Curtis. Two really big TV shows. I wish there was a point to what I'm saying, but there isn't.

And I wish it would lead into a really spot on impression. I am the saint. I am Roger Moore.

I am Roger Moore. I am Roger Moore. I am the saint.

Yeah. Oh, what did I shout out to do? Let's have a look if I can find it. So on YouTube, I got YouTube on it.

But every time I go on YouTube, try YouTube premium free. YouTube and YouTube music at free offline and in the background. One month free.

Go away. So let me have a look. Oh, let me have a look.

If I sign in. Oh, I don't know what the sign is thing. I'll get it and I'll do it another time.

So if you're waiting for a shout out, you will get a shout out. I just have to. I don't have my phone logged into YouTube.

It's got YouTube, but just I'm not logged into it, which ain't no good at all the moment. If you know what I mean. Let's see if I've got any emails.

I keep getting these messages from Ipervox and Juxin here. That's not a real name, is it? Juxin from Ipervox and Amazon Alexa champion. Here the number one reason for why you with a podcast should definitely not miss the opportunity to distribute it on the voice platforms like Amazon Alexa or Google Assistant.

Fair enough. That's a good point. Number one, easy access to content.

Imagine a user who wants to listen to an episode of a podcast who has to take the smartphone, unlock it, open the application, search the content and start it. Yes, a lot of work, isn't it? Open your phone and it's more comfortable, especially if he's in the car. He compared to using a smart speaker and voice command.

Anyone can access the content. One of the easiest, most used voice commands. Alexa, give me today's news and you can create it with Ipervox.

I wonder what that link shows Ghost is. It's called Ipervox.com. Try it for free. But how much is it? How much does it actually cost? Pricing.

Let's have a look. Free plan. That's free.

Pro plan, 40 day trial. We're 50% off. That's $14.90. Everything in free plan, which is custom Alexa skills, unlimited hosting.

I don't know what that means. Upload audio text, 100 users per month. The pro plan, everything in free plan, custom commands, advanced analytics, unlimited bandwidth, unlimited contents, feed RSS import, one voice app, 1,000 users per month.

1,000 users. That's not a lot, is it? Wow. But then the agency plan is $199.90, but only allows 10,000 users per month.

It's 10,000 users. That means you can only have 10,000 people actually ask for your podcast. That's not a lot, is it? As being the maximum.

And $199, no. That's way, way too much. But the $14.90, which is 50% off, should be $29.90, only allows 1,000 users per month.

No. Do I have to? What do I need? Can I pay for? Do you offer a bigger plan or custom solution? So it says, yes, we can offer a bigger plan. We can offer a bigger plan.

It should be a bigger plan, but okay. Or bigger plans. For customers with more users or voice or custom voice apps, learn more about our enterprise plan by contacting us at info at impervox.com. No, put your price on the website.

Dodgy. So for podcasters, the easiest way to share your podcast on Amazon Alexa. Extremely easy to use.

Build Alexa. It's free. Voice assistants like Alexa are everywhere.

It's interesting. I tell you the other day, I got so used to using Alexa that, and this is totally true. I'm not saying this just for comedy effect.

100% true. I was in the park with Andre and I thought, oh, it's a bit chilly. And I said out loud, Alexa, what's the temperature? I couldn't believe it.

I said it out loud. I'm in the park. And I don't have my phone with me, by the way, because you can get it on your phone, can't you? I didn't have my phone with me.

I was at home. I'm in the park, saying out loud, asking what the temperature is. And I started laughing.

Just how ridiculous. Yet, I suppose in the future, it will be. It'll be just, you'll be able to ask questions and the fence will answer you.

The lamppost will probably be speakers in the lamppost. Wow. Anyway, that's it, I think.

That's the end of this recording. And I wish everyone feeling good, feeling relaxed, able to get on with what you need to get on with and just remember that everything's temporary. And things will get back to normal and whatever normal is for you.

And I hope that my stuff is useful for, you know, just for increasing relaxation and taking you just, I don't know, just however it helps. I hope it does. I think that's one way of saying it.

Yeah, so they are. So I am going now. So thank you for listening.

Remember, remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy. Remember that and do something kind for yourself today. Do something kind for yourself today.

That's a command. I command you to be nice to yourself. Lots of love.

Take care. Bye.