#311 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (24th January 2020)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. So, I'm not sure if I mentioned, I'm not sure if I mentioned it or not, my website is back and running.

Everything on there is still free again or is back to being free after 24 hours of me being a multimillionaire businessman, business person, business human. And yeah, now it's free again. I've finally finished all the little tweaking and twoking and peaking and poking that's required in order to make it... I just whistled, didn't I, when I was... Well, if I go tweaking, if I go use the word whistle, it seems to whistle.

I've mentioned this ages and ages ago. It's weird, isn't it? It's weird, weird. Yeah, only listen when you can safely close your eyes, if I haven't said it already.

Only listen if you can safely close your eyes, if I haven't said it already. And only listen if you... Let's see how many times I can say it. What else is there? I... Yes, everything's back to normal.

All the adverts are off of the podcasts. They were only on there for a day, about 24 hours, I think, maybe a little bit more. And yeah, so it's all back.

So I want to say a quick thank you to... Say a quick thank you to Derek, who sent me a PayPal gift. And his message was, Hi, Jason, recently started listening to your great podcast. So much nicer not to have the ad at the start.

Thanks, Derek. So that's a happy, happy customer. That's good.

So thank you, Derek, for the PayPal gift. And so the PayPal gift, the gift me, whatever link is on my website. It's Jason, was it PayPal.me forward slash Jason Newland.

So yeah, it's really nice to get a message like that. And because the thing is, if for people that listen to the podcasts, sometimes they'll listen. I've been told this by other people, by the way, that sometimes people listen to the next one, and then the next one.

So, you know, you'd be perhaps be really relaxed and calm and then an advert trying to sell you toothpaste or I don't know, whatever it might be, a different level of volume as well. So it's, it wouldn't have been so bad if the adverts were the same volume level, but they're not. But then it's the same with television, isn't it? Television adverts generally seem to be a different volume.

Even radio adverts sometimes may be that as well. So I've been drinking tonight, alcohol. And by drinking, I mean, I had half a can of lager, half a can of weak lager fosters.

And, oh, excuse me, a bit of gas there. I say half a can, what is the, I don't even know what the weight is of it. 440 ml.

So I had 220 ml. And I had that earlier. And I went to sleep.

So I had a little lie down, half a lightweight. So I've just got up and a little while ago and I chucked away the other half of the can because it was all warm. So I've now got the, I've opened another can, which is cold.

So I'm probably going to end up drinking about a whole can of lager, whole tin, whole tin. So yeah, just basically there was no Coke in the garage. Didn't have any Coca-Cola.

Didn't have any yesterday. Didn't have any the day before. Which is, you know, a little bit for me.

So I thought, you know what? I'll have a can of lager, have a few, buy four cans of lager and have that instead. Because I know my, I don't really, I'm not a drinker anymore. I rarely drink.

And it was okay. And in some ways I feel a bit better, maybe because I've consumed a heck of a lot less sugar than perhaps I would normally. And no caffeine either.

So yeah. Now I defy you to find anyone that's more boring than me. That, that was a boring story.

I love it. I love the boring stories that I have. Even the interesting stories are boring.

So what else do I need to tell you before I actually start this recording? And I guess I just wanted to say thank you to everybody for your support. I've had a few couple of emails which I've replied to. So thank you for those supportive emails.

And also just to let the, the two people that did purchase, was it two or three? I think it was two, that did purchase recordings during that little period that I was, had my recordings for sale. I've, what's the right word? Refunded. That's it.

I felt almost ill saying the word. I've refunded it. Oh, see I refunded the money back into your account via the, well I haven't personally done it.

I've just clicked the refund button and it was automatically done. That's why I pay you for the website to do that. The other thing is, I went back when I kind of redone my website.

The review page, which lets you post reviews and videos as well, as well as pictures and stuff if you wanted to, actually stopped working. And I couldn't figure out why, because I cancelled the, they call it an, the awesome package. That's what they call it, which is where you pay.

The other one, the other package is free. But nothing on the other package, the free package, was anything that I could use. So in order for me to get my other stuff back, like the videos, etc.

I needed to subscribe to the awesome package, which is $15 a month. So the good thing about it, well, the good thing about it is now it's now up in money again. So that's good.

It's now back. So the videos that you posted or the people posted was good. My voice is going croaky.

I might have to whisper. And so I've now signed up for the $15 a month to have that service on there. So please leave some video reviews.

And lots of written reviews because not all from the same person, you know, because one per person is fine. Unless you want to leave reviews on individual products. So you can leave reviews on products.

There's not just a review page that you can click on. You can actually, any session that you like, you can sort of leave a little review saying, yeah, that was all right. That was okay, I suppose.

I suppose it was kind of boring. Or you could just complain saying you're just too interesting, JJ. You're just probably the most interesting person I've ever listened to.

So you know, it could go either way, but that's fine. And you could post, post the messages and stuff on there. Leave a video, lovely video review.

I love the video reviews. Just makes me feel warm inside. So that's up.

But the good thing about it is the, as I went to, I paused before clicking the subscribe or whatever, activate whatever button it was, whatever the knob was I had to touch to make it start working. To get it activated. A little message came up saying, would you like 14 days free trial? And I thought, would I ever? Really? Are you sure? Do you mean it? Do you really mean it? So yeah, so I've got 14 days, which is really handy, because that's how long I've got to wait till my next payment.

So that I don't get next get any money. So it's kind of all worked out. Groovily, very groovily indeed.

So yeah, so I just want to say thank you to everyone. I'll give you a quick, you know, after yesterday talking about, I'm never going to look at the stats again. I'm going to wait till the end of the month.

That's what I'm going to do. By the way, I'm not drunk. I literally have had half a can of lager.

And that was, I stopped drinking that at about 10 o'clock. And it's now 1.22 in the morning. So I'm not drunk unless you think, unless you think that, oh, my goodness, he's making a recording and he's off his head.

Trust me, I haven't. I never have. I've just got another message here.

And this is from Sarah. Hi, Jason. It's an email from Sarah.

Hi, Jason. I've been listening slash sleeping to your Let Me Bore You To Sleep podcast for over a year. I'm sad to hear about your struggles with the financial part.

I personally think that the ads are fine. A small price for me as a listener for your work. Anyways, I'm not able to help financially, but I'm a multimedia design student.

I'd love to help you out with your graphics and illustrations. You can see some of my work on Instagram. I don't know if this helps, but I want to somehow give back.

Thank you for your awesome podcast. Say to Andre from Denmark. Sarah, I'm just, it might be Sarah.

I think it's Sarah. S-A-R-A. So please forgive me, Sarah, if I'm pronouncing it wrongly.

You can send me an email. And send me a phonetics that says Sarah or Sarah. If it's Sarah, send me an email saying S-A-A-R-A.

Then I'll know. Or S-A-R. No.

I'm trying to think. The only reason I say that is because I've got a friend who's called Sarah. I spoke to her tonight, actually.

And her name is Sarah. By birth, she was called Sarah. Her parents call her Sarah.

Her family call her Sarah. But she calls herself Sarah. So I call her.

And you know what she said to me? She said earlier, because she phoned me, but the number was withheld. And there's something weird happening with my phone. I don't know what's going on.

It withholds numbers, blocks numbers. It's just, I don't know what's going on with it. It's an Apple phone, but it's old, you know? So maybe it's going through a few problems.

Or maybe it's going, like me, midlife crisis. So I spoke to my friend on the phone. She said, and she's one of my, I suppose one of my closest friends, like in real life.

And I honestly told her, she said, I thought you called me Sarah. No, I thought you called me Sarah. Because I was going, hello, who is it? And she said, it's me.

I knew as soon as I heard her who it was. But I could pretend I didn't know. Because I said, because the number was withheld.

Said, who's me? Who is it? It's Sarah. It's Sarah. I said, well, which is it? I mean, was it two of you? She said, no, it's Sarah.

But you called me Sarah, I think. I said, I knew it was her, because I reckon anyone that I know, I know they're not, you know their voices, don't you? You know? And it's one thing I'm pretty good at with voices. You know, if I hear, let's say if I hear someone, neighbours, I can, you know, I can tell who's who.

I can't hear what they're saying, but I can hear the tone of the voice, the resonance. So I can kind of, I can, you know, someone's in the garden, I can hear, I can pinpoint which person it is, without actually being able to hear what they say, because I think my hearing's going a bit wrong. And I'm gonna possibly need to go to the doctors to get that looked at.

Due to the fact that I'm constantly having to ask people to repeat themselves to me. Now part of that might be because I'm just not really giving them much attention. Or I might have my, sometimes I draw eyeballs on my eyelids and go to sleep while people are talking to me and pretend to be awake.

And I forget, you know, that they're there. And then they say like, hey, did you hear what I said? Like, oh, yeah, what was it? He says something about you, you wanted to play hockey when you were at school. And they say, no, I was talking about getting in a takeaway from the local Indian takeaway restaurant.

I said, oh, yeah, it was close. Hockey, food. He said, it's not close at all, is it? I said, no.

He said, what happened to your eyes then? I said, what do you mean? He said, well, your eyes opened. And then they opened again. I said, what? He said, your eyes were open.

You didn't blink at all. You stared right at me. Well, I said, I wasn't staring at you.

He said, yeah, you were when I was standing in front of you, but you didn't seem to notice. And then when you, when I prodded you and you, your eyes moved, but it's almost like you had eyes underneath your eyes. I said, I don't know what that's about.

He said, are you sure? He said, I don't know. He said, do you think this might be something to do with you drinking alcohol? I said, what? What do you mean? He said, well, you don't normally talk like this. You must be really drunk.

I said, I'm not drunk. I had half a can of lager and that was it. Well, I was drinking that at eight o'clock in the evening until about 10.

And then I went and had a lay down. And little Cassandre was there. I picked him up and I went to sleep with him on my chest.

I didn't go to sleep. I just laid down with him and then I fell asleep. But it feels so lovely having him there just laying on my chest and my tummy.

He's my favourite little boy. He said, why do you keep mentioning that he's your favourite little boy for? I said, because he is. He said, yeah, I know, but everybody knows that.

What do you mean? Well, anybody that listens to your recordings knows who Andre is. Anyone listens regularly because all you do is talk about him. That is not all I talk about.

Well, you kind of do keep talking about him. Well, I mention him. Yeah, you go on a little bit.

No, I don't go on. I think you go on a lot. You talk about Andre all the time.

Why do I talk about him? Because he's important to me. Well, yeah, obviously he's important to you. But you're like a parent that keeps going on about how much he loves his kids.

Of course you love your kids. You're supposed to love your kids. That's just a given.

You haven't got to keep going on about how much you love him. Why? Well, I don't know. Why do you do it? You know, maybe part of the reason I do it is because I feel that he's listening.

I tell him every day, at least once, probably quite a few times a day, how much I love him and how he's the world to me. And I'm going to look after him and make sure he's happy and I tell him how much I love him. Now, imagine if we all did that to the people we cared about.

I mean, it's probably a bit full on to humans because they'd probably get annoying if you did it all the time. But imagine if every day you told a person that you loved, how much you loved them, and kept reminding them that they're loved, like really loved, you know, not because of what they can give you, because let's face it, what can you give me, Andre? He just gives me lots of poo to clear up and lots of mess. But he's a cutie.

He knows I'm talking about him. He's just come out. He's just come out of his little sleepy place and he's yawning.

He looked up at me, he says, get out. He's going to go and do a wee wee, I think. I don't know if you can hear that in the background.

Or a big poo, I don't know. And that's the weird thing about it, because it's just a natural process, isn't it? At least he's doing it on the paper. He's not doing it on the carpet.

He's not doing it on the settee, because I don't have a settee, but I've got a chair. And what he's been doing lately is scratching a lot. And I've been thinking, oh, I hope he hasn't got fleas.

But he hasn't. Because although he's got dark hair, like brown, but he's also got white hair underneath. So in the summer, he's white, mainly white hair.

In the winter, he gets more darker hair, brown. But you can see anything moving around in there because of the whiteness of the hair. I was going to say the base of his spine, that's not right.

So what I did earlier is I gave him a good old scratch. I actually scratched him. So I looked at where he was scratching himself.

And I thought, okay, so I picked him up, sat him on my lap. And I scratched the part that he was scratching. And he just sat there with his tongue sticking out.

He looked almost blissful. I was like, wow. And so I gave him a good old scratch.

And in the end, he turned to me, looked at me, did a big fart and ran off. So that was okay. But my friend, she said, I'll have a little drink of lager.

You know what? I don't remember ever, ever making a recording when I was drinking lager before. And I want to keep, I don't know why I want to keep mentioning that I'm not drunk because I'm really not. I'm not drunk at all.

I don't know. No, I don't. I don't get drunk.

Apart from when I drink. Which is, I mean, when I drink a lot. And the only time nowadays I ever really ever drink alcohol would be at a like a birthday party, like a social event, you know, a wedding, bar mitzvah, funeral, job interview, you know, just things like that.

Times when it's called for. Yeah, first day at college, I just, yeah, I think the last time, the last time I got drunk was, oh yeah, also work outings. Because we used to have a works ball at one of my places I worked.

And I had two work outings, one at Churchill and one at, I can't remember the name of it now. I was there for ages. And the first one at Churchill, and I got drunk.

I mean, there was literally, we went in there, it's a huge room. People from all over the country that was working at Churchill's got turned up. It was a big company, and it still is a big company.

And I went there, I was all dressed up in a tuxedo. And I had, what did I have? I think I went, yeah, I think my team leader, we went and got a tuxedo together, me, him and one other person. And I rented it out.

And we went to this, we went to the place, got a coach there. I don't know how many, there was a few coaches, to be fair. I think they had coaches for each department, so they had coaches for the summer sales, the admin, and what other departments are there? It's been so long since I worked in that industry.

Five years, six years. Renewals, yeah, renewals, sales, admin, and what's the other one? Custom service, which is for, yeah, custom service was big as well. I had a lot of people there.

And so anyway, went there. And as soon as we walked in, if I remember, it's a long time ago, going back, 2003, maybe 2002, it might have been the summer 2002. It might have been the summer 2003 though, I'm not sure.

It's one of those. Because I was there from, no, couldn't have been 2000, no. I worked there from September 2001 until November 2003.

So, you know, two years and what, two months. And the last year of working there, I was ill the whole time, but I carried on regardless, as it were, because I didn't want to lose my job. Because in some ways, it was the first real job that I'd ever had outside of working in a bakery back when I was 21 or 20 in 1991.

And I say, you know, in the sense of that, that was an hourly rate, but it was well paid because in the bakery, I was working, what was I doing? I did 100, over 100 hours in the first week that I worked in the actual bakery itself. And I remember I took home, because in those days, you used to get cash in a little brown envelope. There was no monthly payment.

Actually, that's not true. It wasn't that there was no monthly payment. It's just it wasn't compulsory and not everyone did it, because I did have a job before that that used to get paid monthly into the bank.

Well, that was a real job as well, actually. So yeah, that was a proper job. I suppose what I class as, for me, what was a real job was a job that paid me enough to live on.

That's what I would classify as a real job. And that was stable. Just like me, like a stable.

So I had horses running around. I had worked in a meter factory. So that was a salary.

So that wasn't that wasn't hourly paid, that was a salary. I worked in the bakery in the kitchen, that was salaried. So that was not hourly pay, that was a monthly pay into the bank.

But then when I worked, what did I get? No, I think I might have got paid with cash on that one as well. I'm not sure. But it was quite low.

It wasn't a lot of money, but it was enough to live on. You know, it was easily minimum wage. If that makes sense.

So I could live on it. I was probably earning £130, £140 a week or something back then. Maybe £150, I don't know.

But it was okay. It was livable money. And I was paying £40 a week rent in the little room that I lived in.

Perhaps I should stop saying the word little room. I mean, I could move around. I couldn't run around the room, you know, get fit.

Trying to catch all the mice probably would have got me fit. But there was enough room for a single bed, a desk, a window. But I suppose a window is not really part of the room, is it? It is the room in the wall, part of the wall.

And built-in cupboards. Yeah, I mean, it was big enough, but it was £40 a week I paid for that. But then when I was in the bakery itself, that was, it wasn't, I think it was salaried.

I think. And then overtime. I think that's how it worked out.

So it was a salaried job with overtime. But I'm not 100% sure. I mean, I kind of wish I still had all the paychecks and the pay slips from those times.

Because for years I kept them all. You know, for probably, I don't know, about 10 years or something, I used to keep my pay slips. And so that was, I guess, I'd class a proper job.

But outside of that, I had casual work. So, you know, it was kind of in a recession period in the 90s. And it wasn't, you know, it wasn't so great, you know.

I don't know, it's just the way it was. And I was focusing on other stuff anyway, like trying to, not trying to educate myself, I suppose, but trying to be in the world of comedy. And I did security.

So I was a security officer. So that was, I suppose, that was salaried. Or was it salaried? Or just... No, I'm sure that was just paid by the hour.

But it was full time. So they have to give you a minimum of, you know, 39 hours or something. Trying to think what other... I think that's about it.

That's the only proper jobs I had. But I didn't class the security job as a proper job. But it was secure.

It gave me some security. It was a really good job for students if you're left alone. So if you could get a job where you've got a 12-hour shift where nobody bothers you, and you're just guarding a building site or something, you could study, maybe open university, online or whatever, you know, and you could do some pretty, really make use of that time.

But if you're hassled the whole time, you've always got people coming and sort of, you know, then you don't get to use that time. And I had a mixture of both. Because I used to be in the... The first job I had was in... It was in Canary Wharf.

So I was there during the day. Again, 12-hour shifts, sometimes longer. They'd all constantly ask him to do overtime and stuff like that.

Sometimes it'd be, you could stay for a few hours. Other times, well, can you stay for another 12 hours? Like, okay. Like, yeah, but I haven't slept.

Ah, that's all right, don't worry. So I realised then that when someone says, don't worry, what it means is they're not worried. It doesn't, you know, it just means that they're not... It doesn't mean they're looking out for you.

So I worked there during the day, which meant I didn't get anything done. I was literally standing a lot of the time outside a door where the lifts were, checking people's passes and letting them in. Sometimes checking their bags and stuff like that.

At night, it was a much nicer gig because there wasn't anyone around and it would be a case of more of a skeleton crew. And I kept saying to them, I'm not a skeleton, I'm just really slim. I'm self-conscious about it.

They said, no, that's not why it's called a skeleton crew. I said, why? He said, I haven't got time to explain everything to you. It's bad enough I had to explain what a door was, I had to explain what a doorknob was.

And I giggled. He said, why do you giggle every time I say the word door? And I said, no, don't worry. And he said, I remember him saying to me, the supervisor, I've gotten really well with him.

And like every job I've ever had, I never sucked up to the boss. I'd always just say, I didn't just go here, but I used to make fun of them and probably not show the most amount of respect, but just have a laugh with them, treat them as human beings, equal to me, not above me, even though they were above me, in a great scheme of things, as far as they had the power to reduce my working hours or get rid of me even maybe. But I think some of the bosses quite liked it that I've worked for.

They liked the fact that I didn't suck up to them and I didn't care, just really didn't care enough about the job. I'd do the job and quite a good little worker actually I was. I used to put a lot into my work sometimes.

Sometimes, other times I'd put nothing in, but I think generally I was quite a good little worker. I told this story before, but my supervisor said to me, we've had someone phone in ill, can you do me a favour? I said, I don't know, depends. I didn't feel ready to commit without any more details.

I needed a bit more information. And he said, I just need you to just stay till eight o'clock in the morning or six o'clock in the morning, whatever it was. I said, that's another 12 hours.

He said, yeah, I know. I can tell time as well. I can add up 12 plus 12.

I said, no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying I haven't slept. I haven't had a, I've been here since, I probably started work at seven or eight in the morning, something like that.

And I'd go home at eight at night. So it's sort of say, well, just stay for the night and it's easy. You haven't got to stand up or anything.

You'll just be downstairs. And that's where the boss of the Mirror newspaper, his office was in there, not where I was, but I was like the, I was kind of like the receptionist for his office. But all the phones were turned off, apart from internally.

So I didn't have to, well, there was no one there. It was, I'm just there on my own. And I'd already done it before.

And I'd be down there during the day as well. Again, it wasn't really receptionist. It was more, I think, to be seen, you know, and I've done it at the weekends, nights as well.

But only when I hadn't been working during the day, because there was a book there that I was reading that, and I've actually bought it a couple of years ago because I never got to finish the because I was sacked. And the reason I was sacked or fired is because I fell asleep. I didn't mean to, it wasn't even the case of, I wasn't lying down on a fold up bed or anything like that, you know, with my pyjamas on.

And that would be, you know what I mean, that would be a different kind of situation. Like, well, I fell asleep. Well, you didn't really fall asleep, did you? You've actually brought in all that bedding with you to work, and unfolded it all, made a bed up.

Somehow you've managed to get undressed and changed into your pyjamas, or your nightclothes, whatever you want to call them. And I didn't even know you could get Wonder Woman pyjamas. Anna said, you can get anything if you're willing to pay.

He said, okay, I want to move on from that. I said, oh, fair enough. And anyway, no, but I fell asleep at the desk.

And I'd woken up by him, the supervisor. Now, I was struggling to stay awake. And the more you struggle, the more you try and stay awake, the harder it is.

That's one of the little secrets of falling asleep, is if you turn it on its head, because the more you try and sleep, the more you'll be awake. Because you can't force yourself to go to sleep. You can't force yourself to feel relaxed.

You can't force yourself to feel hungry. You can't force, you know what I mean, these things are natural processes that can be stimulated. So you can stimulate your hunger by maybe smelling some cooked food, or maybe by just having a little bit of food, you know, just a little bit of toast that kind of stimulates your body to think, oh, I want more of that.

So there's little things that you can do. And the same is with relaxation. Relaxation is something that is a natural process that can be done, but can't be forced.

So there's loads of relaxation techniques. And some of it is just a frame of mind, in a sense of just being gentle with yourself, kind of easy on yourself, you know, not giving yourself a hard time, realizing that you're your own best friend. We all need support at times.

But it's worth remembering that you've got yourself, you've always got yourself in your own corner, supporting you. If you allow it, you know, you have to allow it. Allow yourself to be your biggest supporter, allow yourself to be your biggest fan.

So when I say fan, I'm not talking about, you know, to cool you down in the summer, although you could, if you wanted to, you know, to be that. And so I got caught, I fell asleep, I was trying to keep myself awake, and I fell asleep. And I've woken up and you know, all that stuff.

And I was, I wasn't sacked or fired instantly, but I was suspended, which meant I wasn't allowed to work or earn any money. So it's not a great position to be in. And then they gave me a tribunal, like, you know, in order to like to see what's going on into, because they had to officially sort of sack me and stuff.

And I said to them, you're ridiculous. I just said to them, to their faces, this is absolutely ridiculous. You asked me, and I said to them, because they were both, both their owners of the place, one was a supervisor, and the other one was the other, the bloke that I never got to see normally.

And I said to them, I said, you, you, you, hiding behind the wardrobe, come on, come on, get out of the filing cabinet, come on. You asked me to stay, do you a favour, so you didn't have to do it. Yeah.

You asked me if I could stay for 12 hours overnight, so you didn't have to do it. He said, yeah. And you came back in the morning.

And that was six o'clock or something. And you found me asleep. Yeah.

Okay. I rest my case. And he said, this is not a court.

And that was a really bad case. Really, it wasn't very good. I said, yeah, fair enough.

And he said, I said, Lewis, listen, I told you, what did I tell you? I said to you, I don't want to do it because I'm tired now. You know, it's half past seven or seven o'clock in the evening when he asked me to stay for another till the end at eight o'clock in the morning. And I said, I've been working all day.

I've been up since six. And now you want me to stay awake until eight o'clock in the morning. I said, I might end up falling asleep.

And he said, oh, don't worry about it. That's what he said to me. And the court case was dismissed.

And I carried on with my job. Now, the next time I had my tribunal, the next time I was suspended, I was suspended three times. Can you believe it? I was suspended three times.

The first time I was suspended from the job was when I was in a nurse's home. Somebody accused that accused me of drinking on duty. Now, I didn't even drink alcohol at that time.

I mean, never, never touched it. Might have the occasional lager when I was out. But normally, I just had cokes when I was out.

So I just didn't drink alcohol at all. And I was working all the hours. I was working all the time.

So I didn't just didn't drink. And what I was taken to work was a flask, which had, what's it called? So I was going to the gym every day. So I was getting home.

So I was working at night, going home. And I think I was going to the gym and then going to bed. And I was I had these like a protein shake that I was having.

So I was trying to sort of get myself a bit more muscly and stuff. It was working a little bit. But I was taking these, you know, I was eating every couple of hours, every three hours.

So I was trying to get a bit healthier. And so I had these protein shakes, like milkshakes that I was preparing before going to work and taking it with me. So someone must have assumed that it was alcohol.

Because I wasn't drinking it like coffee or tea, you know, sort of milk or anything. Although little did I know it was milk. And I laughed at them on that one.

I said, you know, I don't drink. I don't drink. It's as simple as that.

I said, this is just lies. It's ridiculous. So they, they let me go back to work and put me somewhere else after that.

Or did they put me back in the same place? I can't remember. I think they might have put me in a different place. Because yeah.

And then the last time I was suspended was because a toilet flooded in one of the buildings I was working in. The thing is, I used to, I used to check every single room in the office. It was a big office.

But I would check. I'd do my patrols. I'd go around.

There was no one in there all night until the cleaners got there. I know that everything was fine. All the toilets were fine.

There was no, no mess, no water anywhere. And mind you, I did have a, yeah, I did have a big poo that, that morning. And it might have blocked the toilet.

Anyway, I don't know. It might be me. But I should do the odd torpedo, you know, huge, huge, you know.

Anyway, I got suspended because one of the cleaners said it was, I think she, she said it was me that did it. But what? And she said, she said, but I was basically accused of not checking the place and stuff. And so I went to my tribunal again.

You know, I'd had two already and I'd got through those. Okay. This time I kind of had the same process and was laughing at them, telling them how stupid they all was and had nothing to do with me.

And I always check the toilets and it's probably one of the cleaners had a big poo and they sacked me. They actually sacked me. They said, no, we don't like your attitude.

Ta-da. I couldn't believe it. And they basically wanted me to apologize.

And I said, no, I think this is ridiculous. You're sacking me for nothing. You're accusing me of this.

I ain't done nothing like that. And especially as I used to clean toilets for a living when I was younger, I know how to keep things tidy and stuff. Anyway, they sacked me.

And then about a month later, I phoned them up and said, yeah, can I have my job back? And they said, yeah. So it was kind of like the sacking was just telling me off. So I went back in and I ended up working on the, I had a couple of places, but one that was there for a while, it was the Royal Opera House in London and they were rebuilding it or refurbishing it or something or building a new one.

I don't know. I can't remember. But it was a huge project, like 500 million pounds, something like that, possibly more.

It was huge, huge, huge. It was just near Covent Garden, which is where the Royal Opera House is. And in some ways it was a really good job.

It was low pay though. For some reason, I got paid less doing that job than I did the previous ones. But the previous job I had, I was doing 15 hours or 16 hours a day.

So I had a lot more hours than this one. And this one was, I don't even know if it was 12 hours a day. It might have been 10 hours a day or something.

But sometimes I'd work weekends as well. So I've got a little bit extra. But I never worked nights.

Did I work nights? Yeah, I'm sure I did work at night. I can't remember. But I was there for a while.

I was there for a few weeks or a few months even. And I used to direct the traffic into, because they had continuously having lorries coming in, taking away dirt and bringing in concrete. So I was letting these lorries in and out.

So I was stopping the traffic. I was like one of those, you know, you see them in the movies or maybe you see them on the roads, those traffic cops that got their hands up. But I didn't wear the gloves.

I didn't have the white gloves. So I didn't look like I was about to do some kind of weird cop mime scenario thing. I wasn't there to pretend I was pushing against the wall or opening an invisible window or anything like that.

And I learned how to let all the lorries in, all the different ways of doing it. Well, it wasn't really complicated. It was just standing in the middle of the road and hoping that the cars would stop.

But I liked it. And yeah, it's my first time really in that kind of environment, being on a big, huge building site. And it was big, you know, it was a big old construction going on.

But it's also one of the nicest places in London, Covent Garden. As far as like daytime, it's just really cool there. It's buzzing.

It's a really nice, well, I used to find it a really nice atmosphere. And even the homeless people there would kind of come and say hello to me and they'd all be like showing off for the tourists and putting on a little show and they'd get money. They all knew how to get money because they were in London.

It's probably one of the best places, not to be, there's no good place to be homeless, but as far as begging and making some money in a busy West End place, like Trafalgar Square, but maybe probably Tottenham Court Road, Oxford Street, Covent Garden. And what's the other one? Um, Leicester Square. I used to love Leicester Square.

Proper loved it. Because I used to remember walking around there, two o'clock in the morning, everything was open. Everything is, it was almost, and it was so bright.

It's almost like it wasn't even night time. It was no different from walking around in the afternoon. It felt like the afternoon.

It was great. I say everything was open, probably not all the shops were open, but a lot of stuff there was for amusement and education, you know, education, amusement and fun. And there was loads of places to eat and drink and nightclubs and comedy club and that's where the comedy store used to be.

I think it still is. And loads of theatres, of course. And yeah, I used to love, I used to go there quite a lot when I was younger, when I was sort of early 20s, used to love Leicester Square.

Really used to love it. Just, I don't know what it was. And there'd be people, um, standing there having, it's literally standing on a soapbox.

I know it's really not a soapbox, but it's standing on a box, talking and like preaching and whatever about their, whatever their belief system is. And what I found refreshing about it is, well, first of all, I'd not seen that before. You know, I don't think it really happens, it didn't happen anywhere that I'd lived previously.

But what I found, um, groovy was, even though these people gathered together with differently, different views and were kind of arguing, they were keeping it civil, you know, not civil as in Forty Towers civil. Um, and they used to have these discussions and it was just really refreshing. It was educational on various levels.

Educational that actually people with completely different opinions and values and beliefs and, um, can talk about something and still walk away kind of as friends, you know. And with that state of mind comes humour and they'd be making each other laugh, even though they were disagreeing with each other. I'm not saying that's always how it was with every single situation, because I wasn't at every single situation, but I found it, I thought it was brilliant.

And yeah. So this message from Sarah, I said I was going to talk about Sarah, my friend Sarah, she said, well, I don't know if you call me Sarah or Sarah. I said, well, I don't, I just don't call you anything, do I? She said, what do you mean? I said, well, when I'm on the phone, I don't need to say your name, because you know who I'm talking to, because it's you on the phone with me.

When I phone you, you have your own phone. So I don't need to say, ask for you. It's not like the old days where there'd be one, one landline phone in the house and you'd phone up and have to say, yeah, is Tiffany there, please? Can I speak to Dean, please? You know, I don't got to do that anymore.

So I don't have to say your name there. When you're sitting in front of me, I don't have to say your name there either, because you know who I'm talking to, because it's me and you. The only time I'd have to say your name would be if there was perhaps a group of us.

And I don't do that anyway. I don't, I don't get into groups. You know, I don't have conversations with people when there's lots of other people around, because it's just, it's just, I don't know, it just doesn't really work for me.

And she said, she said, I only phoned up to say hello. What were you going on about? I said, nothing, I'm just saying. She said, yeah, I just phoned up to say hello.

And just said, I wasn't sure if you said Sara or Sarah when you talked to me. And you go into that big long speech about never using people's names, because they know who you're talking to, because they're sitting in front of you. And about phones in the old days.

And what are you on about? I said, listen, I'm not sure. He said, no, I don't think you are. And what was I going to say? Oh, yeah.

So this Sarah, not this Sarah, Sarah sent me a message on my, my email. And what did he say? Anyway, I'm not, it's a multimedia design student. I would love to help you with graphics and illustrations.

You can see some of my work on Instagram. You know what? Thank you. Thank you, Sarah.

And I'll give Andre a big sloppy kiss from you. Big hugs from his Auntie Sarah. And I'll have a look at your Instagram.

I think what I'd quite like, would be quite cool is, is I'm only really happy with one of the designs for my podcasts, like the image. And that's the one I've got for this podcast. I don't know why, but I quite like the image I've got on here.

You know, the, I made it myself. And a picture of Andre and, and there's the picture of the podcast, like image and, you know, it kind of seems to work okay, I think. But on the same side, when I look at, when I do sort of a bit of research and I go on to podcasts, for example, Spotify or whatever, and it shows, because I'm in the podcast charts, I get like an email now and then saying, oh, you're in the top 20 or whatever of sleep or relaxation or whatever, you know.

So I'll go and I look at the images on other people's podcasts and they're just way better than mine. But it doesn't seem to be stopping people from listening to my podcasts. So yeah, I don't know.

I'd be, I mean, yesterday, I always feel like I want to start singing. And let's have a look at the, yeah, 3,220 downloads. So that probably about 3,300 or 300, because it always goes up the next day because they're kind of calculating.

So it's not an exact calculation. But yeah, so so far, what is it? Saturday, the 18th, 3,377. Sunday, 3,593 downloads.

Monday, 3,397 downloads. Tuesday, 3,626 downloads. Wednesday, 3,484 downloads.

And yesterday, Thursday, Wednesday, Thursday? Yeah, Thursday, 3,220 downloads. But that will rise because it always rises by about 100 or so. And so far today, the last hour or so, 217 downloads.

So 2,000. Yeah, I wonder what I've done for the... Because I've not made a relaxation hypnosis for stress and anxiety for since the 19th. So what's that? 20, 21, 22, 23, 25 days.

And yesterday, I had 635 downloads. The day before, 643 downloads. So even though I've not made a recording for five days, I'm still getting quite a few downloads on that podcast.

I mean, the last recording I did was the 19th. I've had 1,013 downloads of that one recording. So yeah, that's pretty cool.

And today, so far, I've had 47. Overall, 74,511 downloads for that podcast. There's a chance that that could end up being one of my... Well, it is one of my top podcasts, but it could end up being the most popular one out of all of them.

Which is not strange, but just kind of it's sort of... It wasn't a front runner to start with, and now it's sort of gained momentum. Although the top podcast stats-wise is the hypnosis for sleeping deeply, and that's 146,721. And yesterday, I had 607 downloads.

So I'm getting less downloads on there than I did on the other one. Wow. How many downloads have I had for the... Okay.

So lastly, let's have a look for this. Let's have a look at this one. This is the one.

So I'm now at 93,531 downloads for this podcast that led me, boy, to sleep. So please help me get to 100. I want to be 100,000.

That's what I want. And yesterday, oh, it's another day, 281 downloads. Day before, 344,322.

Now you might think, oh, that's lower than the other ones. It's half what the other ones was. But I also get the same amount on two of the podcasts.

So times it by three. Not on this podcast alone, but the actual recordings. So if I get 300 on this podcast, then out of the Let Me Bore You To Sleep, I've probably got another 300 on each of the other podcasts of my Let Me Bore You To Sleep ones.

So in reality, it's about 900 a day. I actually checked that out, and it's probably more, actually. So there are people that like this podcast that don't listen to it on this podcast, but they're listening to it on the, what's it called, the Hypnosis for Sleeping Deeply.

And or my second most popular one, 136,779 Sleep Insomnia Hypnosis. And yesterday, I had 743 downloads on there. Day before, 859 downloads.

71 so far in the last hour or so. So yeah, it just shows yesterday, I had more downloads of the Let Me Bore You To Sleep on that podcast than I did on this actual podcast. Isn't it weird? So, and lastly, let's have a look.

The Deep Sleep Whisperer, 124,946. Now, I've not made a new one for a while, since the 19th of January. So I need to be doing another one soon.

But yesterday, I had 390 downloads. Day before, 497. Day before that, 547.

And so far today, 21. So I had 700 downloads at the last recording I did on the 19th. So people are still downloading the older recordings as well.

There's 177 to choose from on that. And there is one more, Sleep Hypnosis Weekly. I'm due to make a new one very soon.

The last one was the 16th of January. So it's at 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23. So yeah, today, or yesterday, in fact.

So I need to make a new one today for that. And yesterday, I had 197 downloads. So yeah, and that's total is 41,430.

But there's only 31 recordings on there. So it's, you know, pretty good, really. So I'll do another one.

And yeah, so the stats are going quite nicely. I think that's all of the top podcasts, I think. So basically 94.

So 16,000 away from being, no, I want to talk about 93. 93 and a half, so 93,531. So I'm at 6,470.

Would that be right? 6,470 away from reaching 100,000. I want to get that, I want to have a big party. I'm not, I'm not really, I don't know.

But a big, big party. And 600, 900. And what's, how far am I away from 150,000 on that one? Wow, for hypnosis, sleeping deeply, I'm only 3,300 away from the 150,000 mark.

And for the relaxation hypnosis, the stress and anxiety, 75, 85, 95. So about 25,000 away from 100. Oh, I'm so excited.

So excited. I'm just waiting for one of my other podcasts to light up, you know, to sort of suddenly think, oh, what's going on there? Someone likes that one. Just waiting for it to happen.

It's got to happen. Which one will be next? Which one will be next? Could it be? Could it be? Could it be? Self-help and self-development hypnosis. 19,062.

But I had 49 downloads yesterday. So that's not been really, it's not top-notch really. Some of my best stuff is on there actually, but I guess it's just hard to know because it's so much of the things I've done, I've done so, I keep saying the word so much, but there's a lot, a lot to choose from.

And I think some of it gets a little bit hidden in the background, in the shadows. Yeah, a bit like, a bit like a little bag of salad that you get with a takeaway. You know, it happened the other day, I got a friend who got a Chinese takeaway.

And now we've got an Indian takeaway, or was it a Chinese takeaway? I forget. I think it's a couple of weeks ago or last week or something. And we got a little bag of salad.

And it really wasn't a priority. Or was it with the Indian takeaway? Because basically, we've got some starters. I can't remember.

That's weird, because I normally remember all the interesting things. Oh, I better go, better go. 77 minutes long.

So, if you're still awake, go to sleep, go to sleep, man, go to sleep, go to sleep. So thank you for listening. And I'll speak to you again tomorrow, probably.

Remember to be kind to yourself. Because you do deserve to be happy. Lots of love.

Bye.