#348 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (9th March 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland. This is Let me bore you to sleep. Please only listen and you can safely close your eyes.

Now, as I've been a bit busy today, made a few little changes. What have I done? Okay, there we go. I got rid of my website today.

The one that I had. Not the domain name, if that makes sense, just the provider. And it's currently offline at this moment that I'm recording this.

And basically, I'm trying to just reduce my outgoings overall, you know, so I can't. And also the time I spend on the website, I spend too much time working on it. So I'm gonna cut that down and focus more on other stuff.

More on like producing recordings and, you know, stuff like that. So I got rid of the website. But what I've done is I've built a new website.

Using the place that provides my domain name, jasonnewland.com. So I've been with that company. Well, probably since 2004. No, actually, that's a lie.

I've been with them since 2000. Because yeah, I started shopping with them for 20 years. Various different domain names, but I've only got one now.

And that's the, you know, the one, my name, my website. So I went on there a few weeks back. And they've offered me a free year of website hosting.

So I can have a website for a whole year for free. If I want it to be snazzy, you know, if I want more stuff on there, you know, thousands of pages like I had on the other one, then I would need to pay. But I thought, I only need one page, which is just an introduction.

And then the link and to the different podcasts, you know, the main podcast I have, you know, Facebook, link, Twitter, YouTube, email, and then a contact box at the bottom. And also a link if anyone wants to send me a PayPal gift. And that's it.

I took all the adverts of all the podcasts. There's no more adverts. And I'm just going to leave it like that for a year.

The renewal for the domain name is on the 21st of this month. So that'll be another 40 or 50 pound. No, 38 pound or something.

32, I don't know. It's, I think, yeah, I'm not sure, but it seems to be going up every year though. And then that's done.

So the only thing that I'll need to pay out for, apart from the internet, of course, broadband is the podcast, which is $72 a month. So I thought about maybe reducing that by deleting lots of the recordings. First of all, getting rid of all the podcasts that no one really listens to.

And, you know, there's lots which I hardly get any, any listens or maybe get rid of all those. And then maybe only have the most recent 100 recordings of the Let Me Bore You To Sleep and the Deep Sleep Whisper. So just like really cut it down so that I can have the a much cheaper, much cheaper expenditure outgoing.

But that would be the last thing I do. I'll leave it for now. Not the last thing I ever do.

But I'll leave it for now because I quite like having the unlimited space, the unlimited hours, because if I go down that road, the next one down, which I had before was 1,500 hours. And I've got way more than that, you know, when I sort of share between the podcasts. So yeah, I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

But I'm waiting for the website to be online because I've just spent a few hours putting it together. It's now, it's just one page, but it's a nice page. You know, it's a lovely page.

It really is. Everything nice. And it's very basic, which is all, it's all I need really.

Just basic. I suppose I could have, I couldn't embed a player into it because that would be HTML and I'd have to upgrade to do that. So there's no, no audio player in there.

But you can just go to, there's a link to each place whether it's Spotify, Spreaker, wherever, Stitch, Castbox, for the five main podcasts that I've got. I haven't included the links to any of the other podcasts because I didn't see much point. And so yeah, so that's it.

So that's, that's the end of the recording. No, it's not. It's not the end.

I feel quite relaxed now that I've done that, now it's over and done with. A little bit sad because I do put a lot of work into the websites when I have them, when I really do put a lot of energy. But you know what? Is there any point really? Because, no, not from a negative perspective, but I've had, you know, over a thousand recordings available for people to download and hardly anyone does download them because we don't need to anymore, do we? We just listen to them, stream them online, stream them on and people don't need to come to my website for that.

They can just use whatever podcast host, you know, that they're using like Spotify or Apple podcasts or Google podcasts or wherever. So you don't really need to have a lot of stuff on the website. It's just, it's, it's just nice to have a website really, I guess, just to have a little home, little online, an online home, you know, where people can come and contact me or find a way to, you know, start on Facebook or Twitter or see what my YouTube channel is and leave a message on the contact box.

So that's it. So I'm hoping that when I go to bed and when I wake up that the website will be connected. Bear in mind they're both provided by the same company.

So it should, and there'd be no reason why they shouldn't be able to connect. Yeah, the domain name is hosted by the same place that hosts. Wow.

So I've just seen something. Oh yeah. Bridget Jones.

Bridget Jones's diary. That was just a clip of her getting soaked by a car. And my beard is very itchy today.

And yeah, that's it really. There's not really much else to say about all that. I kind of like working on websites.

I get a bit carried away, if you know what I mean. I get a bit attached, I would say, to building websites and pages and adding information. It's a never ending thing.

When I could be spending that time making a recording or getting out, you know, perhaps going for a walk, getting some exercise, getting a bit of oxygen, taking Andre out, learn to watch television without looking at a computer screen at the same time. Well, that's a difficult one. I'm not really into just sitting and watching telly.

I used to be, but I kind of like to be doing something else at the same time, so I don't feel like I'm just wasting my life away. And as soon as the soundproofing, the rest of the soundproofing arrives, I should have, should just about have a functional recording studio. Just about.

It should be, I'm hoping, enough to at least fade away or fade out background sounds during the day, I hope. I might be wrong. I won't know until I try it.

But once that happens, I may look to sort of change my routine a little bit, so I'm perhaps awake more during the day instead of being awake all night. I don't know. I definitely, oh, I'm tired.

I would definitely like to make more regular deep sleep whisper hypnosis recordings, because they are, they've got their own audience. They're pretty popular. And I need it to be quiet, really quiet for those.

So with these ones, if you hear Andre in the background, you kind of know he's, you know, if you listen to these and you're regular, I don't mean, well, bowel movements, I mean regular listeners, you'll know about Andre and let's face it, Andre is way more popular than I am. He's the star of the show. So if you hear him in the background rustling around and doing his thing, then it's okay, kind of.

Maybe not for everyone, but with the deep sleep ones, it's not, it needs to be quiet. And, you know, I've even made the relaxation of the stress and anxiety ones, and I'm literally walking from bedroom to living room, back and forward, trying to avoid him. He just follows me.

I'm trying to just like, go away, go away. And he follows me everywhere I go. It's really just one of those weird things that he does.

I don't mind it normally, just I'm trying to make a recording, leave me alone just for half an hour or an hour while I do this, but he won't. And he goes from plastic bag, carrier bag to carrier bag. And he's got them dotted all over the place, so he can make his maximum, maximum sound.

And it's got all planned. How dare my daddy be focusing on something else other than me. I suppose maybe, maybe it's because he's only awake for a few hours a day.

So when he is awake, he wants my attention. Or at least he wants my attention when he wants my attention. A lot of the time, he just wants to get on and do his own thing.

Well, I do wonder what would it be like if he could actually talk? Would it be, get me this, get me that, get me this, get me that. I want this, I want this, I want this now. Take me for a walk, give me food, get me water.

Pick me up. It might be just continuously demand after demand, I reckon. Tickle my tummy.

Not there, not there. No, it's too low. Higher, that's it.

Tickle my tummy. I like you as a friend. Not there.

Just tickle me. Now pick me up. Calm me down.

Blow me in the face. Blow me. That's it.

It's too hard. Now blow me. Yes, calm me down.

I just realised I just said blow me, but you know what I mean. When it's hot, like in the summer, I blow on him just to cool him down because he's basically wearing a fur coat, isn't he? I keep telling him to take it off, but he won't. I said, you've got natural fur yourself.

Why are you wearing a fur coat? And will you laugh? Yeah, I do feel for him in the summer. It's bad enough for me. I'm a bit hairy.

I'm not majorly hairy, but at least I can take my clothes off. Andre doesn't like it. He shouts out, get a room, will you? Get your own room.

I'm like, this is my room, Andre. He pants and he doesn't wear pants. He gets hot.

So I try and do everything. Well, I don't try and do everything, but I do a few things like get some water, put him in the bath and put some cold water on him. And he feels like I'm doing it as a punishment.

Well, actually, it's got to be nice for him, surely, just to... I don't spray him. I just get some cold water in my hand, just rub it over his fur, like just all over his body to cool him down. And then he bites me and runs off and jumps onto my bed and he dries himself off on my bed.

That's what he does. He does it whenever we go out for a walk. Whenever it's raining outside or muddy, guaranteed, I take his harness off, he goes on the floor, he runs away.

By the time I take my jacket off, put the keys on the hanger and I walked in, there's nowhere to be seen. Guaranteed, I look over, he's in the bed, drying himself off from all the mud and the wet and whatever weird things he's picked up along the way. Strange one.

It's weird though, because I look at him, I look at him, I look at his little face, and even now, it's the cutest little thing I've ever seen. You know, it's strange. And I know I'm biased, of course I am, because he's my boy.

And he's, I don't know, I guess the love of my life, I suppose, in a way. Not in a romantic way, obviously, but it's weird I need to tell people that. It's not romantic.

But he's just so cute, but he's so naughty. When he's scratching at the door to get out, it's just, oh man. Because apart from annoying me, which it does, because it's continuous, he doesn't give up.

So I started closing the door in the living room, shutting it, not completely shutting it, but pushing it shut. But then it gets hot in there because the heating's on. So the air's not circulating.

And then he comes in, he's scratching at the living room door to get in. And what's weird, he scratches at the carpet. He doesn't need to, because he knows all he's got to do is just push on the door and it opens.

Or another thing he does is he rolls over on one side and just rolls over and pushes the door open that way. He's strong, he's got strong little legs. It's almost like he's got some kind of, I don't know how to explain it, but he has to do a certain few things before he does it.

So he has to scratch at the carpet for at least 10 seconds before he does anything else. I do wonder if he's got a bit of OCD going on there. But it's hard to say stuff like that.

I've realized the problem with being so, I don't know, compassionate as I am. I don't know, I don't like to really sort of use phrases like, you know, a little bit OCD. Because I know people with OCD don't like that.

And I know that people with severe OCD, it's an absolute nightmare. However, there are levels of everything. There are levels of everything, levels of depression, levels of mania, levels of, you know, it's levels of every single thing, whether it's levels of happiness, levels of sleepiness, levels of insomnia, levels.

There's different levels. It's not just like one, one thing. Lots of different levels.

I like saying the word levels today for some reason. For example, I've got a thing about jams. I always have, have a long, you know, in public.

But even here, if I drop, if I, let's say I'm doing some toast and that toast or a tea cake, I like to have tea cakes. I've not had any for a couple of days. But if I, if I'm a little bit rough with the toaster, I don't mean rough as in, again, I'm not having a romantic relationship with a toaster.

What I'm saying is, if I push it a little bit too hard, and it springs the bits of tea cake out, and one might land on the counter, that's it, I won't eat it. Unless I can see exactly where it landed. If I can catch it and know which part, which side it landed, I can just cut off the amount that I think would be infected by the germs.

And based on how quickly I did it, and how quickly I imagine the germs would spread. It's very strange. But I wouldn't use, you know, terms like OCD for myself, because I've seen patients or clients in the past, and that's, that's a way more serious than I think the general public realise, actually.

Very, very, it can be like a life consuming condition. Excuse me for sniffing. That's why I kind of feel a little bit, I worry a little bit about people in that situation when it comes to like, like a new virus that's spreading around the world.

And I think that must be so hard for people with OCD. And they've already got issues with germs. And we're not, not everyone with OCD has got anything to do with germs.

I realise it's an anxiety reducing measure to do these repetitive behaviours. But it definitely can be connected to germs in some ways. So I'm just staying in, staying for the rest of the year, until it's all.

Can you believe the supermarket, right? Asda. I saw, I heard an advert on the radio, and they're giving away a part of the special offer, something like five bottles of free Corona. For people that buy Corona, they're giving like 50% free to them, to people.

Corona is in the, it's lager, isn't it? Corona's lager, or beer, or in a bowl. And because there's going to be some people out there that actually won't drink it. Because, because, you know, for whatever, whatever parts of the brain is not active at that moment, within them, thinking that it would be, you know, it's because it's got the same name as a virus that's been playing around, and being around lately.

But I'll get to the point where I kind of don't want to hear about it anymore. But at the same time, I'm interested. Because I quite like stats, as you possibly might be aware from previous recordings.

So I found a website that gives the stats of every single country, and every population. And you know, with this Coronavirus thing, and how many people have got it, how many people have recovered, how many people haven't. And I find myself getting a little bit obsessed with it.

So I've tried to cut down on that. I started, I started ignoring my own stats and just keep checking that website. I've got no idea how many people have listened to my recordings.

It's become secondary. Although the weekend, I don't, I don't get a huge amount of the weekend. It goes down by about 1000 a day at the weekend.

Yeah, I'm lucky. I generally get about 3000 on a Saturday and a Sunday. So it's a listeners, listens, plays, downloads, wherever you want to call it.

But compare that to last year, this time last year. It's phenomenal. You know, it's grown so much.

So I hope it does continue. I just need to keep up the enthusiasm because I do lose enthusiasm sometimes. I will be honest with you, I do.

Sometimes I don't, I kind of just, just want to stop doing it altogether. But it never lasts for long. Maybe a few days, maybe a few hours.

In the past, it has lasted for longer, maybe a few months. But at that time, I wasn't doing it as regularly as I am now. And I was also working.

So I didn't have the energy really, and all the time to do, you know, to make new recordings because I was working. And I'd be going home and I was tired. And I just sit in front of the telly and then go to bed.

That was kind of, that was my life really, when I had my last job. I made the, I made a few recordings, but not many. Probably a few a month, if that.

Instead of a few a day, you know, sometimes. So I suppose I'm, I guess I just need to take a break now and then, now and then, just to have a little time off. I just want to get my finances back.

Not that they were ever anywhere to start with, but I seem to have found myself getting into debt and not sure how that happened. So I've been, for the last five years, I've been really good with my money. Not really good, but good as far as paying bills and making sure I've got what I need and not going hungry and, you know, just basically getting by.

But the last few weeks, it's, I know like food has gone up in price and, you know, living expenses, I guess. The bills have been higher because it's winter. So I guess there's that stuff that, you know, adds a little bit.

But, you know, I had to borrow a hundred pound a couple of weeks ago from a friend, just to get me through. And so I paid that back last week, which then left me a hundred pounds short from what I needed. You know, it's kind of strange.

It's weird. I'm not a big fan of that. I've got an electric gas bill that's stuck on the wall, which needs to be paid on Thursday.

It should have been paid last Wednesday. And then I've got another 87 pound I've got to pay off the catalogue next Thursday, because it has to be paid off by the 18th, I think, or the 16th, which will leave me about 30 pounds to get through to the next payday. It's weird, isn't it? I'm not saying it like, oh, woe is me.

Just talking about it, just like, it's kind of strange. I need to get myself back to out of debt again. So I'm going to be doing that.

I'm going to try and pay off, get the catalogue down as soon as possible. Because with the summer, the good thing is the bills were a lot less. So electric gas will be going down to very little.

What was it, January, February, March? No, January. Yeah, next month I'll have the water bill again. And I'll pay my council tax, my TV license.

And what else do I pay? Oh, the internet. So I pay all that on the first of the month. So that all goes out.

So yeah, I'm gonna, it'll be okay. It just needs, it's gonna take a few months. Get that sorted.

And then I need, I don't, it's really weird. I don't do very well with pressure anymore. I used to.

I'm not so much thrive on it, but I used to just cope with, I don't know, it's coping. But it's, yeah, I can't find it quite stressful. So I just want it to be done.

You know what I mean? I want it done. Done, done, done, done, done, done. That was the thong song, but with the done, calling it done, the done song.

So it'd be nice to get that sorted. And then, so I've got a year of free websites. So the website's free for a year.

So I've saved myself 290, what's 29 plus 29, 30 plus 60, 58, 290, 348 dollars. So I'll have saved myself 348 dollars over the next year coming for a website. So that's good.

And with the podcast, so I don't know about that because people do still listen to the earlier recordings because they're still available. So I don't know, I'm not sure. I didn't ignore, but I know I wasn't getting huge amounts of visitors to the website anyway.

So it wasn't really, it's not a great loss really, as far as the content and hardly any downloads. I've had thousands of downloads, but not over the time, as far as on the website, I mean. Over a thousand MP3s were downloaded off of that website, but not for a while.

I went through a period when I was getting loads of people downloading stuff. But that might have been before I had Spreaker. I think it was.

So this was probably a few years ago when I was with Shopify. I didn't have Spreaker and I was getting a lot of people, not a lot, but quite a few people downloading stuff. Another thing I used to do, and I forgot about it until lately, until recently, is before I had podcasts, because it was a long period between having a podcast and having another podcast, because podcasts just became kind of not really popular anymore.

For a long time then they became popular again. But I used a digital sharing company. So I paid, I can't remember, it wasn't a lot of money, like £15 a month, something like that, for this.

I can't remember what the name of the company was, but they had all of my podcasts, all of my recordings on there. And I put a link onto my website for each recording, so people could go on and download it. I can't believe how many people were downloading stuff.

Absolutely thousands and thousands of downloads. And because I just, I had it on there and I just kind of, not so much forgot about it, but didn't really, I didn't know that I could check the stats. I think that's what it was.

When I first had it, I had it all up there, but I didn't know that you could check the stats of how many people downloaded stuff. For me it wasn't that, it wasn't important, it was just about having the recordings available for people to download for free. And then one day I realised, as I was kind of exploring, oh, they offer stats.

I can actually see how many downloads for each recording it'd be. I couldn't believe how many. I was like, blimey.

And it wasn't just from my website, they were actually going directly to that file sharing service, whatever it was. It's like, wow, I couldn't believe it. I said that three times now, wow, now four times.

Couldn't believe it. So that was good. I like little things like that, you know, sort of little surprises.

Oh, you're still talking about your stats, are you? Now you're talking about stats from years ago. I don't want to hear about your stats now, not from 10 years ago. What's next, 20 years ago? Well, we're not far off the 20 year mark, are we now? In what, six years time? It's not that far away.

So what was I, 30, 35, 45, no, 49, 55, so yeah, six years. I have my 20th anniversary. And wow, imagine how many recordings I'll have by then.

There'll be so many. So many damn recordings. I don't know what to do with them all.

I do wonder what's going to happen to these recordings when I'm gone. Because they might be useful for other people in the future. If they're boring for people now, they might be boring for people in the future.

And if the anxiety podcast helps people now, then it might help people in the future. The Deep Sleep Whisper ones, again, might be useful in the future. So I've got nearly 200 of those done.

And I don't know how many of these, 348 I think, of these ones that let me boil to sleep. That's about all the other recordings I've done in the past that aren't part of these podcasts. So I don't know.

Maybe I thought about maybe sticking them onto a disc, like getting a really big one that you plug into a laptop. But by the way, for those people that won the competition before, I've got the discs, I've got the envelopes. I just need to wait till next Thursday to actually post them.

So they will be posted out for those that were winners of the competition. So that's Boston Chickie, Natalie and Elizabeth. It's not Elizabeth though, is it? I can't believe I forgot her first name.

That's terrible. Rachel, sorry, Rachel. So I think it's Rachel, Boston Chickie and Natalie.

So I've got the discs, the little discs. I've got the envelopes. So all I need to do is just write the address on envelopes and then go to the post office and post them.

So they will be sent on Thursday or Friday at the latest. It's now Monday morning, so it's only a few days away. So we'll be very groovy, okay? Very groovy indeed.

It surely shall be. So I was thinking about like getting a big disc, not like big in size, but big in capacity and then maybe putting everything that I've got on there, every single recording that I have up to this point. And maybe if there was a couple of people that wanted to be, I don't know what the right words, custodials or whatever for those recordings.

So that when I'm not here, when I'm gone, when I'm gone, then those people can make them available and publish, you know, stick them on a podcast or something. I'd also quite like to have put together, I'm not, I'm a bit, a bit grim, isn't it? But I was thinking, I wish there was someone I could trust. Who I could send like passwords to my podcasts so that they could keep the podcast running forever.

Well, forever, whatever forever is, you know, but for the foreseeable future. So if I'm gone, keep it going for another 20 years or 30 or 40 or 100, whatever is available. But just to make them available because once, once I'm kind of popped away, once I popped away, I suppose it doesn't really matter because I won't know anything about it.

It won't, it's not gonna affect me, is it? What happens afterwards, but, you know, but on the same side, doesn't affect me what happens now, does it? So I'm not doing it because it affects me, I'm doing it because I want to help. So yeah, maybe find someone, maybe get some kind of a will where I can just put details in there and say, maybe send it to my brother, have my brother look after things. But he might try and make money out of it.

If we, he'll find a way to get rich. I don't know how. If there's a way, he'll find a way.

He's an IT whiz, so he'll probably find a way to, I don't know, put adverts on the websites and stuff. And I don't know, just get more people listening. To be fair, if he was to put work in, he deserves to get paid for it.

Oh, there's guinea pigs on the telly. Oh, guinea pigs. And the mother's just being very bossy to the kids.

It's funny, sometimes I see on TV, or not just in TV, in real life, the parents talking to the kids, almost sort of wonder which one is the kid. By the attitude and the way they're talking, it's almost like you're talking like a little child yourself. You're the adult.

They're the child, and they seem to be more adult than you. But at the same time, oh man, kids can wear you down, can't they? If you've got lots of kids, the demands. Or they're wanting to be fed.

You have to feed them at least once a week. It's ridiculous. It's constant.

Demand, demand. I need to wear clothes for school. I'm growing out of my clothes.

I'm 10, I've had this since I was three months old. The jumper doesn't fit anymore. Just go to school.

You don't need new clothes. Don't they have a lost property basket anymore? That's where I used to go. I used to go to the lost property basket at school.

You used to have to. If you turned up hoping to get out of going to gym, and you say, oh, I forgot my kit, sir, or miss, whoever it was. And they say, and you think, ah, I won't be able to, don't have to do gym.

And you say, oh, that's all right. We've got a lost property basket. We'll find you some little shorts in there.

See, in the earlier days, the teachers used to, well, I don't know all teachers, but, you know, in my day, teachers used to make you do the gym in your underpants. If you forgot your shorts or, you know, whatever. I think some of the teachers kind of, well, I had their fingers crossed.

I'm sure once one of the kids in my year said, sir, I haven't got my kit. I forgot to bring me shorts and stuff. I'm sure I heard him under the teacher on his breath say, yes, seriously.

I was a bit concerned about that. And they'd have us running around in their underpants, but I think they outlawed that. Or it was frowned upon, I think at some point, maybe it was as you get older, they didn't allow it anymore.

So once you got to kind of teenagers, sort of 13, 14, maybe it wasn't allowed. And they didn't do it with the girls though. They did it with the boys.

And I did a lot of research on that. So I do know for sure, never happened with the girls. Maybe in junior school, because boys and girls are the same at that age.

But it's, I don't know, it seems a bit weird. Never liked, never really liked gym. I liked it, but I didn't.

I think the thing I did, I didn't like football. Didn't see the point of any of those games. You know, cricket, football, rugby, hockey, tennis, basketball.

I think I've covered everything there. The gymnastics, we did do long jump, but I was short. You don't get short long jumpers.

And you don't get short high jumpers. You know, generally the tall people are the ones that are best at high jump. And they're the best at long jump because they've just got a huge physical advantage.

But I might be wrong. I might not be true at all. I do like to make things up.

I don't know if I did high jump. I did do high jump. We had to, I had no choice.

But they had to have the thing really low down for me. But then I couldn't figure out what the point of it was. Why will I, in what situation will I need this skill to jump over a little bar and long jump? I suppose technically if you're jumping across a crevice and you're trying to escape a volcano or something like that, I can see the advantage of being able to jump a long distance.

But outside of that particular scenario, or maybe if you're jumping between buildings, which you shouldn't really be doing, please don't do that. It's, yeah, it's just, yeah, I've mentioned it before, dodgeball was the only thing that I actually enjoyed. The only thing that I was any good at.

I was very, I was very, not flexible as in, I couldn't do this, well I could do the splits when I was really young, but I was very, I was very dodgy. I was very, I was really able to dodge the ball. I mean, literally, it got to the point where both sides were chucking the ball at me, even my own team, they got so fed up.

I wasn't always last on the thing, but I was down to the last two or three, but sometimes I was last. I was good at it. It was the only sporting thing at school that I had any kind of competency at.

And I don't know why. I think maybe it's because I was little, because I was, I can't really, when I say I was little, I was little. I was very underdeveloped.

I only said undernourished, but I wasn't undernourished. I fed very well. I had a very, not when I was little, little, but when I was sort of in the age of seven onwards, had a wonderful mother who fed us.

I mean, all parents should feed their kids. It's not, it's not a special gift, is it? But she was a really brilliant cook. My dad's been very lucky there, you know.

He had, I don't know about my first mum, but his mother was a great cook. Then his second wife was a great cook. And then his third wife was a great cook.

So, or is a great cook. Well, his second wife is a great cook, you know, just, it's a lot with her. But with his third, and he's been very lucky to be, to have someone that could look after him.

Because he can't, seriously, he can't cook. I lived with him a couple of times when I was in my teens, like later teens, sort of 18, 19. And I stayed with him for a few months.

And he, he had a microwave and that's all he ate. He didn't eat the microwave. He, he had boiled potatoes from tins, and a pie and beans, which is fine.

Every now and then, not every single night. And that's all he had. Because he couldn't, I don't even know if he had a cooker.

I don't think he did. Which is a bit weird. And so he needed to have someone that could cook for him.

Or wanted to cook for him. Not that, you know, no one has to do anything, do they? But I don't know what that would be like. Not to be married to my dad, because I like him as a friend.

I just, I don't know what it would be like to cook for someone else, like regularly. I don't know. Or, or to be cooked for.

Because, regularly, I mean, I know what it's like to be cooked for. But on a regular basis. You know, I go to family dinners maybe twice a year.

So it's very rare, you know, it's a, yeah, it's a rarity. It's not very often. Outside of that, I don't go out very often and eat out.

So I'm kind of stuck with my own food and my own cooking, which is not great. The problem is, you know, when you cook this food for yourself and it's not great, there's no one to complain to. Anyway, I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna wish you a wonderful, wonderful sleep, if you're not already asleep. Thank you for listening. And I appreciate, I appreciate you for listening.

I need to, I really do appreciate you for being you, even though I don't know who you are. Which sounds a bit conceited, doesn't it? A bit pretentious. But I do, I appreciate you listening, because if I didn't have people listening, I would not be doing this.

So take care of yourselves. Lots of love. Bye.