#349 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (10th March 2020)

Hello and welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. Yeah.

So my website's still not up and running yet and that's not the new website, it's the original website that I've redone. It's still not up. I don't know why.

So basically I got rid of that cost cutting exercise and I cancelled the website I had. I started a website that was free for a year, which is basically a couple of pages maximum, I think. And then I started thinking because I put so much effort into this website that I've got and every single recording's available to download and to stream for free and you know it's a lot of stuff I've done.

So I thought yeah I'll put it back, which involved correcting or changes to probably three, four, five, six, seven, seven hundred pages. So I've done that. It took me all day to do that and a bit of, yeah, and a bit of today as well.

So I did that yesterday and today and it's all back to fine, all back to fine, all back to fine. It's not a real sentence, is it? So I've changed the DNS thing. So that's basically the thing you do with your domain host.

So it connects with the podcast, with the website host, and it's not connected yet. So I just, it's a little bit frustrating but hopefully, hopefully it will be back running properly by tomorrow. Hopefully by tonight but there's no way of knowing.

If it's not done by tomorrow, I'll contact the domain host and just see if they can correct it because, you know, I contacted them the other day because the other website that was free with them wasn't connecting properly. So I think they might have done something, you know, in the rear, in the back that perhaps I'm not, I'm unable to undo without them doing it. So, yeah, it's very technical, too technical for me even because I don't really, I do understand it to a degree, not to degree level, but to a degree of, you know, having had hundreds of websites over the years.

But thinking about it now, what perhaps would be useful for me to do is to take a snapshot of the information that I put into the, into the server host. So then I've got it, I've got a snapshot of it, and I can just look at the picture. Oh, what a lovely squeaky chair.

I've never done a snapshot really, never, never bothered with snapshots of the screen or screenshot, but they're quite good. I might start doing it a bit more often, possibly. So that's where I am with the website stuff.

So it's just more undoing what I did that was undone before I redid it previously. It's just continuous see-saw of silliness really. So I'm hoping that now I intend to just leave it, not leave it as in not do anything.

If the chair's annoying you, just, just turn off. I don't care. I do care.

It's annoying me though. It's, I can't just sit in one position though, because I don't know if I've mentioned, I've got a lower back issue, which means I need to sort of move my body around a little bit just to stretch it. And it's, you know, it's, it's kind of out of my control really, in a sense.

So I'm sure you wouldn't want me sitting here in pain, would you? So I have to move a little bit. And as I'm stuck with this squeaky chair for however long it takes me to save up to get a new one, then we all have to make do. Please forgive me.

Please. I've done everything I can to make you love me. Please.

So, got to do a big shout out to David, Lilith's son. Andre sends his love. He goes, eee eee eee eee eee.

To David. So that was it. And to Lilith, of course.

Got a new, not a new person, but someone called Punchy. This young lady, young lady, she's a woman, it's a woman called Punchy. It's just something about the name, I just love the name.

It's just, it tiggles me for some reason. I just think it's a brilliant name, Punchy. I think it's actually her real name, I think it's more of a nickname or something, so maybe she's a boxer or something, a Thai boxer or Kung Fu, who knows, but what a brilliant name, Punchy.

Great, I love that. I think I'm quite good luck for women on here, because when a woman joins, starts listening to me, and I've noticed this quite a few times, so some women have contacted me, and within a few weeks, maybe a couple of months of listening to me and contacting me for the first time, they end up with a boyfriend. I think what it is, is if anyone actually contacts me, I make them realise that they really need to settle, they really need to take what's, they're so lucky, I feel so lucky that they're not with me, that all the other men out there just look amazing.

Maybe that's what it is. So yeah, it's a weird one, I don't even bother looking at people's profiles anymore, I used to. Oh, someone likes me, they send me messages, you hear the ambulance or police in the background, I don't know.

I don't know what the difference is between an ambulance and a police siren in England, I don't know. Doesn't one go, in the police's, it's real whiny, isn't it? It's kind of a bit sarcastic, sarcastic siren. I know, in America it's, or something, isn't it? And is it in France, it's, bonjour, bonjour, bonjour, bonjour, bonjour, bonjour, bonjour.

I don't know, I don't know what the word stop is in French land, I don't know. Stop, step, I don't know. See, I was taught French, well, I had a teacher that attempted to teach me French and I just couldn't do it.

And it started in junior school, I mean, the first time I started to learn French was probably at the age of 10. And we all sat around and the teacher would show slides of pictures of people eating, well, it looked like they had bread and warm milk in bowls, which seemed a bit strange, for their breakfast. I don't think that's really, that can't be true.

And then there'd be all, like, Sarah likes to pick flowers. Bonsoir, vis à vos, ça va, la la, sous ma plaie, toi, toi. It was something like that, I don't know the words.

And I'd be looking at the screen, thinking to myself, how much more of this have I got to put up with? I wonder what's going to happen on Spider-Man tonight? Why do we have to keep having these slides? What if they really do drink milk and eat bread for breakfast in China or France, is it France? And then I started to think about bread. I like bread. I like bread, especially when it's warm out of the oven with, you know, butter on top, maybe a bit of jam, a bit of toast and marmalade.

And then I remember that Spider-Man wasn't on that day, it was a Bionic Man. I was trying to think, I saw a clip of what was going to be on the Bionic Man this week. I'm sure it was like Bigfoot, some kind of like Bigfoot was going to be fighting the Bionic Man.

And I thought, I wonder if Bigfoot eats bowls of milk and warm bread. If he does, then I think I'll start eating it because I'd like to be as big and strong as Bigfoot, maybe not that hairy. But I imagine to be that hairy, I'd even need to, I'd need to kind of be born into that, wouldn't I? I think that'd be, need to be genetic.

I don't think I'd suddenly become that hairy out of nowhere. Although I did become hairier. I don't think I had any hair.

I did have hair. I didn't have any hair. Although I did have hair.

I had hair on my head. Very curly hair on my head. Very much like the Yeti or the Bigfoot.

In fact, I started to think that maybe the barbers or hairdressers, you know, the barber shop that I used to go to to have my hair cut, I started thinking, I wonder if they've been saving all the hairs that they've been trimming off my head every three months over the years into a big bag and glued it onto this man on the telly that's playing the Bigfoot Yeti. Because it kind of looked like my hair on my head, but all over his body. It was like, it was like everywhere.

And I thought, I wonder if the Bionic Man eats milk, a bowl of milk for his breakfast. But I didn't know the answer to that. And then I started thinking, I wonder if the Fall Guy will eat milk.

And I remembered that the Fall Guy hadn't been invented yet, but I thought when the Bionic Man becomes the Fall Guy, then I started thinking, did the Fall Guy do his own stunts for when he was the Bionic Man? I'm the unknown stunt man that makes Eastwood look so fine. See, this all happened before 1980, by the way. I'm just kind of wondering.

I heard a very, very weird reference yesterday on the news regarding a famous politician that's been accused of terrible, terrible crime. And this lady said that it was like, she felt like she was in a fight between Arlie and George Foreman. And then in that same sentence, why would she want to be with him? Because he was really old, someone as old as him.

And he's 65 now. And this was a few years back. And I started thinking, who would make a reference of George Foreman, Arlie? That's a very, very old reference.

Only a quite a, an old, not, I mean, old in the kind of, but yeah, someone that was probably in their 60s or 70s would make a reference like that. Because that was, they'd have been in their 20s during the 70s. So George Foreman and Arlie Forte in 1974.

So at the earliest, you need to be talking, to remember it, you'd need to be at least 10 years old at the time because to really kind of remember the fight, not that many 10 year olds would probably get to watch boxing live because it would probably be late at night or something. I don't know. But plus it was in Africa, wasn't it? Rumble in the Jungle.

Was it Zaire or somewhere? And which means the person would be at the very earliest. If they were, let's say they were 10 in 1974, which means they'd be six years older than me, which would make them 65, the same age as a person that they're saying is really old. Now, if they were five when the fight was on, they're not going to remember it.

They still won't remember watching a boxing when you're five years old. It's too young to remember it, but it would still make her 60. No, that's not right.

59, 50, 49, 10 years old. I just made myself older, didn't I? I made myself 10 years older then. So if she was 10 when it was on, she'd be 10, she'd be six years older than me.

So I mean, she'd be 55. See 55 and 65, it's only 10 years difference. That's not a long time, is it? Not a big age gap to say, oh, well, I don't want to be with someone that much older than me.

But realistically, to remember a boxing, it'd probably be in your 20s, really late teens, 20s. So I'm just confused because I don't, I can't imagine anyone, I've never, ever heard anybody ever use the reference of George Foreman and Ali fighting, ever. And I'm a big boxing fan and I talk to boxing fans and I read about boxing.

I've never, ever heard that phrase, that terminology. I've heard Mike Tyson used, still hear Mike Tyson used by people that are kind of not really up to date with boxing. Well, I feel like I've just gone 10 rounds with Mike Tyson.

Well, first of all, no, you don't. You really don't. Secondly, Mike Tyson hasn't been a world champion for, what, 15 years? Yeah.

So I do, I notice little things like that. There's another thing I noticed is in my, I was in my bedroom and I heard someone shouting out or talking in the garden or nearby, one of the neighbors or whatever. It's really good because if, this is what they say, it's really good.

So she falls over, she won't hurt her head, she won't hurt herself or it will stop her hurting herself. And then two days later, I find out that my soundproofing foam had gone missing and had been stolen. And the soundproofing foam sticks to the wall and would be quite good protective for a young child.

You know, if it was like low down, especially if you doubled it, it definitely sort of hurts. It'd be quite good little protection so they didn't hurt themselves on the wall or to cover up, to cover up corners and stuff like that. I've got no proof though.

I feel I should have been a detective. And then I think, what kind of detective would I like to be? Because it has to be a TV detective, doesn't it? There's no other kind, is there? Well, I want to be just like Detective Inspector Johnson who works at the local police station. I very much want to be like him.

No, I don't know any detectives. My brother used to date a detective years ago, but that's the only detective I've ever met. Mind you, I've got a cousin who's in the police.

He might be a detective now. It's possible he was a PC. PC Plot.

Well, I don't know what PC. PC Center, Plot, something. I don't know.

I'm thinking TV shows. What would I, what TV private eye detective would I like to be? So I think I wouldn't want to be one that was with the police. I'd want to be like a private detective.

So thinking, the first two that came to mind was Magnum PI and the Rockford Files. That's the first two that came to mind because they were gentle, weren't they? I say gentle, they weren't always. Like Magnum, are those very jovial and do this handsome man driving around in a red Ferrari.

It was red, wasn't it? Was it yellow? I think it was red. And living with Mr. Higgins. There was this slight little underbelly of Vietnam and they'd kind of have flashbacks and, you know, so it was, it could be quite serious at times, but it was very well-natured, quite gentle.

And then there was, is it DJ? DJ, who was the helicopter pilot. It was DJ, wasn't it? I'm pretty sure. So Magnum, DJ, the helicopter pilot and Higgins, who was the Lord of the Manor kind of person.

He was very posh. And then what other one? The Rockford Files. Now I liked the Rockford Files because he was, again, he was really cool, cheeky, kind of lazy, didn't really seem to care about his job.

So I do admire that. And I always wanted to be a surgeon. He just really didn't care about his job.

That was my ideal goal. And I, I don't know. He seemed to, he got the case, he got stuff done, but he was very kind of quite casual with it, which I quite liked somewhat.

And I think, I also lived in a trailer, didn't I? So not necessarily hugely excited about living in a trailer, but those trailers are not, they're good. I mean, they're nice. I mean, the trailer's probably bigger than my flat.

But yeah, I don't know what else was there. So I liked him. Now, there was Magnum, not Magnum, not Magneto.

What's his name? The one who was like, he'd always come back in the room. I mean, Mrs. I forgot I noticed. I do know that you did it for me.

One more thing, one more thing. If you didn't guess it by that, I don't know how else you could. And what was that a raincoat on? You know, like a Flesher jacket.

Peter Falcon or Falco. What's the name of the show? I mean, it's on, the films are on every single day, practically of the year, for a hundred years at a time. They're just always on.

And I don't watch them anymore. But, and also he did work for the police. Probably wouldn't be ideal because I quite like the idea of being my own boss.

And I'll come back to that when I remember it. But I liked his mannerisms. And I think the good thing about that show, it was so unique because it showed you who did it at the beginning.

And you'd think, I mean, well not you, but you, you, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to you. No. However, the premise of it doesn't really work, but it does work really, really well.

And it may have been done previously. I don't know. But it's the only time that I've seen it done and it's done every episode.

And it's, it's something quite lovely about seeing the person, you see, you know, who did it, who committed the crime. And then just seeing them squirm and seeing them, you know, thinking they got away with it. And then suddenly Captain Columbo, Columbo, was it Columbus? Would pop up and say, Oh, one more thing, one more thing.

I noticed there's a gum on your desk. I was wondering. It looks like it might have been used.

That's doing things. What other people was there? What other private detectives? Because there's lots of famous detectives that were with the police, like Poirot, of course, Agatha Christie's, but he was with the police, wasn't he, in Belgium. And then you had Mrs. Marple, but she wasn't with the police, was she? Wasn't she a private detective? Or she was a bit like Murder, She Wrote.

She just happened to be really unlucky. Wherever she went, something awful happened. I mean, you wouldn't invite Murder, She Wrote, or would you not to a party or wedding or anything? The only place you'd invite Murder, She Wrote would be, or Angela Lange, but it would be to a funeral, wouldn't you? So just bring your own coffins.

Just have a few empty coffins just in case. She was the highest paid actress in the 80s. Highest paid actress, I think, in the world in the 80s and 90s, she was, because of that TV show.

Oh, and how much money she's got? I don't know, though. I don't know why I don't know. I don't really know, do I? You go on the internet and you say, oh, I want to get the net worth of, I don't know, Larry David or, you know, Jerry Seinfeld.

And it says, oh, Jerry Seinfeld has $550 million. We don't know that, do we? Not really. No one knows what's inside his bank account other than him and the people that work in the bank.

No one has access to that information. It's just guessed, isn't it? It's estimated based on, you know, what he's done, the movies he's made, the TV shows, the syndications and how much he supposedly got paid for those syndications of his TV show. They don't really know.

I don't know if $550 million would be enough. I suppose you could get by. I don't know if it would be enough to really do all the things that I'd like to do.

Like ruling the world. I think I'd need more than $550 million to rule the world. If I was Mr. Amazon, I would definitely start buying countries up, start ruling the world bit by bit.

Can't do all of them at the same time, but just build, build upon each country. Maybe buy some of the smaller ones first. You know, just buy them island by island.

There's a few million for that island, a few million for that island. And eventually it'd be like a jigsaw puzzle. You'd just be able to get all the bits together and pay a little bit extra for that little bit of land in the middle and suddenly he's got a whole country.

Yeah, I think I'd do that. Andre's now running around. That makes a change.

The sound of him running around just gets so annoying sometimes. Any other time it doesn't bother me. It's only when I'm making a recording it's like... Yeah, I think I'd like to rule the world.

And then produce stuff in the different countries. Just have lots of sweatshops. I wouldn't.

I'd have... It's not even funny. That's what's happening now, isn't it? Anyway, all these big brands having sweatshops in other countries, paying people, paying kids small amounts of money and then charging huge amounts to actually sell, you know, for people to buy these items. They're in fashion shows and stuff.

Wow. I'm sure it can't all be like that. Surely not.

No, no, it couldn't. Could it? Could it? Could it? I don't know. So I might... Yeah, I might actually... When I do rule the world, I might put different countries in charge of certain things.

I mean, each country would be responsible for making their own part of the instruction manual for everything that's produced in the world. So Germany, they could make the instruction manual in German. Or that one page that goes together with all the other pages.

So each country would be responsible for that. So that's quite a big job. What other things? Germany could be in charge of sausages and beer.

They're very good at beer, apparently. I'm not saying they're only good at sausages and beers. I'm not saying that at all.

They could also make those pieces of paper, you know, for the manuals, as I said. What could we do? Switzerland... Is it chocolate they do in Switzerland? And they're good at making tunnels as well. And bomb shelters underneath the ground.

Apparently there's thousands of them in Switzerland. Thousands and thousands of fallout shelters underground, underneath the houses. Thousands and thousands.

I watched a documentary on it the other day. Thousands... Well, no, I only watched it once. What other... Belgium.

Chocolate, okay. And also, they could lead the world in flatness. To a flat place.

So they could test... Yeah, they could test... You know those rules, or whatever they're called, where it's a balance thing and you put it on top of a shelf or something you're making to see if it's balanced and it's straight. Well, Belgium could make them because they just put them on the ground and see if it's straight or not. Because everything's flat there.

So that could be the country that produces them. Ice cubes from Greenland. In fact, you could probably get ice cubes from Greenland, Russia, Germany, New York, you know, different places at different times in the winter.

Ice cubes. But if we get ice cubes from the Antarctic, basically, as a continuous thing, I'm talking 24 hours a day, millions of ice cubes being transported through tunnels, you know, being sucked off and out through the, I guess, I don't know, underground or whatever. But they'd be, you know, taken and moved to maybe the next country.

And then they'd be distributed. And then, of course, there'd be... It'd also supply water for the whole of the, let's say, Africa, India, or any countries that have problems with water, that maybe have droughts or stuff. So all that can come from the North Pole and the South Pole.

All that water can come from the melting ice, can all be just... So basically, the water level will never rise because that water is continuously being like an overflow, like a man-made overflow. So in a sense, the South Pole or North Pole, Antarctic, whatever, will be very much like a sink or a toilet, a lavatory, with an overflow system or a bath. And we can just keep collecting that water, sending it to all the different parts of the world that need water, like the deserts, for all the crops around the world.

So all the crops have always got enough water. The sea levels will never rise because the water's being used. Because there's the same amount of water on the planet all the time.

It doesn't go and it can't go anywhere. It's stuck in... It might move up and then it drops down again, but it's still here. So yeah, I think we could just start distributing things to the right places.

Let's face it, we're never going to run out. We're never going to run out water. The ice may turn to water, which is when the water rises.

But if the water's already been distributed to Somalia and India, Africa, it'll be groovy. I have all the solutions in the world. You think about it, you've got Kuwait.

Is it not Kuwait? What's the really nice place? Not that Kuwait's not nice, I'm sure it's lovely, but where they've built the city's highest buildings and... I forget the name of it. It's in the Middle East. It's... I can't remember.

It's gone out of my head. So for that, you need huge amounts of water, which just shows if you look at America and the casinos and what they've done in deserts, what is possible to be done in deserts, and how much of the world is just a desert that's just uninhabitable because no one's using it. We could do some amazing things and just have that water from the North Pole or from the sea, the sea that's rising, just drain that water off the sea to be fair, and it could be purified to be drunk.

If it can be drunk, then it can be used for watering and to grow food, crops and stuff. So there's no reason for the sea level to rise too much and cause chaos. We're just not using it properly.

We're not using the resources. It's simple, isn't it? The water's rising, let's use the water. We can turn the water from undrinkable to drinkable.

You can do that with waste, human wastes. You can definitely do it with seawater. I know it's possible.

It's definitely possible, which means there's no reason for anyone to go thirsty ever, as long as you just try to forget where the water came from. You'll be fine, which means that every country in the world can have enough water to grow crops and enough water to drink and to wash and to cook and all that stuff. See? Also, here's another thing.

Here's another thing. Wouldn't it be good, and maybe there is such a thing, but it seems like it makes sense to have a sprinkler system put in to forests that are prone to fires in the summer or even in the winter, but just big areas of forests and that kind of stuff, and have a sprinkler system so when something did start, that sprinkler system completely just covered everything straight away, or cooled everything down so it couldn't get hot enough, like you do in the summer with plants and stuff, so the plants don't get all dried out. It's like just preparing, isn't it? So just like a sprinkler system, but in a much larger way.

And to be fair, why not have a sprinkler system that's actually around the trees? Maybe not around every tree, but around like every third tree, so that not only does it spray water over itself, but sprays water over the trees next to it, and just cools it all down every day when it's warm. And I know it's a very simplistic idea, but you know, my simplistic ideas need to be taken up by people that can make it more complicated, and then put it into action. Because I'm an ideas guy, man.

I'm an ideas guy. You know, if I'm going to be the leader of the world, I need to delegate, ultimately. It's about delegation.

Oh yes, oh yes, it's about delegation, yes it is. So, yeah, I've given you a few good ideas here. Definitely worth the admission fee, I do believe.

I had cheese on toast earlier, and I need to eat again, but I don't want cheese on toast again. And you may say, well, don't have cheese on toast then. Which is a very valid point, so maybe I won't.

But then I think to myself, what do I actually want? And you may question that, like what do you mean in life, or generally, or do you talk about food today, or what do you mean romantically, or maybe what do you want to fulfil you as a person spiritually? And I might say, no, I'm talking about the food I'm eating, and what I'm going to have for dinner. What did you think I was talking about? I was just talking about cheese on toast. What's that got to do with romance or spirituality? And you may answer, I don't know.

I just wanted to ask you. I'm open to all kinds of possibilities. I just thought I'd give you the option to express yourself in an open and artistic manner.

And I would reply to that, well, why are you talking like this? I just want something to eat. And I just said, I don't think I want to have cheese on toast, because I had cheese on toast earlier. Because I noticed that my question is, well, why would you have the same, however lovely it was the first time, delicious, but why have the same delicious, wonderful food twice in the same day? Well, that's the point.

I don't want to have the same thing twice. That's why I'm saying I don't want to have cheese on toast again. Is that not obvious to me? What makes you think that I want to have the same thing twice, when I've just said I don't want to have the same thing twice? But you didn't actually say that you didn't want to have the same thing twice.

You may have implied, I admit, I may have missed that implication. But you didn't actually say it. Fair enough, fair enough.

But I don't want cheese on toast again. That's really all I'm saying. I don't need anything else added from you.

Thank you very much. That's, that's fine. That's perfectly wonderful.

I'm just happy to be here for you whenever you need. Whenever you need me. I don't think I'm gonna.

You never know, sir. You may do one day. You may need me.

I'll always be here just in case. Yeah, that's what I'm worried about. Why, why would you let such a thing worry your pretty little mind? Pretty little mind? Who do you think you're talking to? I'm talking to you, my lord.

I'm talking to you, the leader of the free world. Leader. I don't want to be the leader of the free world.

I want to be the leader of the world. The whole world. It will no longer be free.

So yeah, I don't know what detectives. So Miss Marple was quite cool. She was an old lady, weren't she? But then Murder She Wrote, she was an old lady, which is clearly kind of a Miss Marple copy, wasn't it, in some ways, you know.

But then there's been lots of different private detectives over the years, but I'm not thinking of... Oh, I know, I know. Moonlighting. So I'd be, I could be Bruce Willis.

Yeah, I could be Bruce Willis. That'd be quite good. So his, I could be Moonlighting, detective agency.

What else would I... If I was gonna do that, then I'd have to get myself another person to work with me as a partner. And we'd have to keep talking over each other as we spoke. Arguing, but actually talking at the same time.

So that would be, I don't know how easy all that would be to find somebody with those particular skills. And how do you broach it into the interview? How would the interview go? I'm looking for a detective, private investigator. So you don't really need any qualifications, just insurance.

And you need to be able to talk over me. No, sorry, you won't do. We'll have to find someone else.

So how do you find the person? I need to find someone argumentative, someone that disagrees with everything I say. And then of course there's that underlying tension. Because chances are, if you meet someone that's argumentative and disagrees with what you say, then there might be some chemistry there.

Because after all, that's the ideal partner. Let's find someone I don't get on with. And I'll have them be my partner for life.

Yeah. Yeah. Because the good thing is, I'm gonna live forever.

Gonna live forever so it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I can put up with being with a horrible person because I'm gonna live forever and ever and ever.

I am a vampire. Ooh. Yeah.

My happiness isn't important. Yeah, OK. I love being controlled.

I love it so much. I don't like to think full of myself. I tell you what, one of the things I find quite funny is when people break up and then they've been with someone for ages and they start saying, but you said you were gonna be with me forever.

You said you were gonna love me forever and you lied. No, they didn't lie. They didn't lie.

They meant it when they said it. Very likely they meant it when they said it. It wasn't a lie.

That's it. That's all I've got to say on that one. You lied to me.

You said you were gonna love me forever. No. You can't.

You can't predict the future. It's like, we don't know. Ooh.

You can't. It's like you can't guarantee stuff. Just because something didn't work out doesn't mean it's wasted.

Just means it's time to move on, man. Isn't it? This is an impression of me, by the way. You said you didn't mind I had a little willy-nilly with you and it didn't matter.

Yeah, it doesn't, you know. Is it because I've got a hairy bum? No, it's not Jason. It's fine.

Is it because I don't wash? No, it's not the reason, but it didn't help. Come on. Don't get too attached to humans.

There's plenty of them. How many is it? Seven billion? Is that how many there was? Seven billion or more human beings on this planet. Don't get too attached to one particular one.

To one, honestly. There's lots out there. Many, many, many, many.

And basically, if you think the person, if you think, if someone is not giving you what you want, you know, maybe you've got an infatuation with someone and they're not interested, and you think that's the only person in the whole world, there could be no one else that I could feel this way for. It's the most attractive man or woman I've ever met. You need to travel out.

You need to go out more. Go to a different town. Get on a busy train.

Go to a different country. Then come back and say that that particular person is the most physically attracted person you've ever met. And there's no one else out there that you're attracted to.

If you say that, you're lying. You're lying. Because there are millions and billions, billions of people all out there, all wanting the same thing.

I don't know if they're actually not wanting the same thing, but all wanting something. They want to be happy. But not everybody wants to be happy, do they? So that's not necessarily true.

So everybody, what does everybody want? A better body, maybe. I suppose a lot of people want more money. I'm just lucky that I've got a perfect body.

And, you know, obviously incredibly rich. Oh, incredibly. I have, I have, yep, a whole ten pound.

See, it's very, I feel almost embarrassed, you know, like I'm just being really cocky and showing off. You know, just like, just, I don't know, it to be bragging about my wealth, my huge wealth. So I've probably wasted enough of my time here today, so I shall go now and I shall watch some television and then I shall probably watch some television and then I'll watch some television.

So everything seems to be organised for this particular occasion to go splendidly. So thank you very much for listening. I really have appreciated your attention on some of the highly important matters that we have been discussing and I trust that you will return another time to continue this wonderfully educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, educative, So thank you for listening and you just take care of yourself, okay? Be kind to yourself and take it like, you know, real easy.

I'll see you real soon. Who loves you, baby? Kojak. Now that's the best detective ever.

Baby.