#346 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (6th March 2020)

Hello and welcome to Jason Newland dot com. My name is Jason Newland. Please slowly listen.

You can safely close your eyes. And that's it really. Oh no, no, there's more, there's more.

Um, bam ba bam ba bam. I have, I think I mentioned it yesterday, but I've done more. Um, there are adverts on the podcast, on all my podcasts, in order to cover the costs of running this free service.

Now, the adverts aren't to everybody's taste. You know, not everybody likes them. Well, I don't know who, does anyone like adverts? I don't know, but um, I love them myself.

I just, it's my favourite part. And what I've done is I have made four new podcasts where there are no adverts and they are available on my website. And basically, if you go to my website, Jason Newland dot com, you can go to the menu and click on whichever podcast you want.

It will have the name of the podcast and in brackets, no ads and then dash continuous play. And that's it. So they're all now updated, uploaded.

Took me about three days to do it, but it's finally done. So all the recordings from the Let Me Boy To Sleep podcast are now available to listen with no adverts on my website. It's the only place that they're available.

And it's basically just, it's a, it's a player. It's a podcast player. You just click play, plays the most recent recording and then it continues to play after that any other recordings without any adverts on any of them.

Of course, if you choose, you can play any of the other recordings. You don't have to just play the latest. You can go down to choose whichever one you want to play.

All of them are listed on there. The other podcast is Deep Sleep Whisper Hypnosis. So all of the recordings are on that and it's got a separate page as well on the website and you can, it's only available there and it's got no adverts and it's continuous play as well.

Thirdly, there's the Sleep Hypnosis Weekly. Again, it's in the menu and it just says Sleep Hypnosis Weekly, week, weekly, weekly in brackets, no ads and then continuous play. So it's, it's just typed out that way, you know, so it makes it easier.

So, all the recordings are on there, the latest ones at the top. And lastly, today I've done the Relaxation for Stress, Anxiety, Relaxation Hypnosis for Stress, Anxiety and Panic Attacks. That podcast is now uploaded and sorted without adverts.

Again, only available on the website and it's in the menu. So it's the title plus no ads in brackets and continuous play. So I will be uploading, whenever I upload a new recording to the normal podcast, the general ones, I will also update the no advert podcasts as well on my website.

So if you listen on Spreaker or podcast pod, you know, various different places, Squeaky Chair, where do you listen? Well, Shopify is not a place, is it? Spotify, iTunes, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Castbox, Luminary or Luminary, I don't know, just Podbean, Podchaser, there's lots of different ones. Those ones still got the adverts on. So by, as I talk to you, I'm watching the news, BBC 24-hour news thing that's on during the night and it's on mute.

It's got some bloke walking across a tightrope, across a volcano. Why? Why? Why? And what does he think the people watching want to see? Why does he think there's so many people watching, so many people crowding around, taking pictures and filming it? I don't know. Why would you do it? It seems a bit strange.

I feel a little bit coldy tonight. I don't today, I feel a bit coldy, a little bit sniffly. But then I was out yesterday, or, well, it's Friday now, isn't it? It was Thursday.

It's just turned midnight. So Wednesday I was out and yeah, maybe I've got a bit of a cold. Hopefully that's all it is.

Blimey. So I, that's what I've done for the website. So now I hope that that's useful for those that need to want to listen continuously, maybe all night even, I don't know, to the recordings and know that they're not going to be interrupted or disrupted by adverts on the next recording.

Because I think that's the thing that was perhaps annoying some people is not so much the adverts at the beginning of the first recording, but if they kind of decide they want to listen continuously at the end of the recording, if it's like an hour later, suddenly there's some adverts and, but you know, I need to pay, oops, I need to pay and cover the costs. There's just no way around it anymore, I'm afraid. So yeah, that's really it.

Plus I've got a quite good website. It's, and I think it's quite an okay website. I don't know what you think, anyone thinks, but it's professional.

I don't build it myself, which is why it's professional. I do build it myself, but I don't, I don't have to have all the code and stuff. I just don't have to know how to use the online software that's available, if that makes any sense at all.

I cleared out some rubbish today, and I think I ended up with six black bag fulls of rubbish. I'm looking around my flat and it still looks the same. It's just like, how can it still look the same when I've just got rid of loads of stuff, like packaging, and I'll add some more.

How many did I have? I had some more soundproofing delivered today, three more strips. So the inside of the shed, the recording studio, garden shed in my bedroom, is I'd say 70% covered. It's going to need more than one layout, but it's definitely, like the sides and the top, but yeah, so I'll probably, and there's overlaps as well, so I reckon another 10 should have it nice and cosy, enough to actually make some recordings in there.

I also need to put some down on the floor as well.

I need probably three or four layers on the floor, but, you know, I'll just add layers as I can, and I think I'm going to look for a different company to get some new soundproofing, not now, but for in the future, and something, a place that's maybe UK based, that's a bit, you know, so it'll get delivered quicker and also I can track it, because, you know, I've lost 55 pound from the company that I bought this stuff from, and they didn't, they have a no refund policy, something to do with Amazon not being an

Amazon company, and Amazon have nothing to do with them, and they're from another country, and so apparently if it was an English or American company, Amazon could have kind of got me a refund or something, but so there you go.

So I'm going to probably kind of maybe next month or May start to look at getting some more, more, you know, soundproofing, but with adhesive, it has to have adhesive on the back, that strong adhesive, so there's sticks, because glue just don't do it.

You know, I did that with the ones on my wall I've got glue on, and I've got square soundproofing all across one, nearly two, three walls, one, two, three walls, kind of where I'm sitting now, and the other side I've got one, two, three, four, five strips at the top of the other wall, which really kind of, I don't know why I put it on the wall, why didn't I put it in the shed, which was the plan. I tell you what, I didn't, I wasn't planning to use them for the shed for some reason.

I was going to use the squares and glue, probably because they're cheaper, because they're not cheap cheap, but they're definitely cheaper than the about $5. 50 or whatever it is for one strip of soundproofing with the adhesive on, but that adhesive is great.

It does make the difference, because I can just, you know, there's no messing around, there's no getting self-covered in glue, and also glue and the soundproofing in glue doesn't stick very well to wood, even though it's the no nails stuff, just it does stick, but not as good. So I'd like to get more of kind of the stuff that I've already gotten, the strips with adhesive, but from a different company. So what I might do is go down to the, yeah, I might actually go down to the DIY store, because they might actually sell it.

You don't know, they might, innit, I mean, they might actually have rolls of this stuff that they sell with adhesive on the back, so it might be worth doing that, and just cut it to size, cut out bits that I need, and do it that way. So I might look into that. Yeah, but I'm kind of pleased now with how this shed's going, because there's a few gaps, but so I reckon another one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, probably ten, we'll do the, we'll cover it, including the door, at the inside of the door, but then the floor won't be covered, and there might still be some gaps.

So I need another layer, so probably another, probably another 20 or 30 strips, I reckon should make the insides of that shed nice and secure. Maybe 40 strips, but it's to the point where it's quiet in there, and I can't hear outside, and then I can start adding to the outside, start adding more strips to the outside. Well, let's say that twice, which will then, well, hopefully make it even, even better.

I'm going to add to the side, then to the other side, facing the wall, into the back, and then to the front, and the door, and then I'm going to tip the shed over, and add it to the bottom of the shed, which might take about three or four layers to get it, you know, filled in. Or I might actually get some sponge, some kind of soundproofing stuff, and glue that in the bottom, and then add the adhesive over, because once it's, once it's back standing up, I won't need to move it again.

Although, I would like to put some soundproofing on the floor as well, and I'd like to have that, hopefully, in every room, eventually, on the carpet, and have it as thick as the skirting board, so that it's quiet in here.

I kind of like the idea of being able to sit here, and not hear anything, even if downstairs was playing a trumpet, that I couldn't hear it. That is perfect for me, and also, if I wanted to play a trumpet, they couldn't hear me. Mind you, if they're playing a trumpet, and I'm playing a trumpet, then, I don't know, perhaps we'll have something in common, we could play the trumpet together.

I never thought about that, I could have a trumpet companion, but I don't play the trumpet, so that's probably not, not really viable, unless I learn to play the trumpet, but then, what if I play the trumpet, learn, take lessons, and someone moves downstairs, and they play the violin, what do I have to learn the violin then, or are they gonna, sort of, say, look, can you please learn the trumpet, unless I actually go on, and become an instructor, you know, learn to teach the trumpet, and I could just offer that for free, providing they don't play the violin anymore.

I don't know if that would happen though, I suppose if they play the violin, I could, I could get back into the violin, I mean, after all, I used to play the violin when I was 10, so I'm sure I could pick up again, it's only been 39 years, it's not that long, it's like riding a bike, no it isn't, well, even riding a bike, it's not like riding a bike, if you go 39 years without riding a bike, yeah, if you'd like from the age of 10, and then in 49, you think, oh no,

I'm gonna do, I'm gonna ride, I'm gonna get myself a bicycle, and I'm gonna ride it, yeah, perhaps you might need to practice before you go onto the road, it's like riding, nothing like riding a bike, so, yeah, I'm feeling fairly, kind of, positive, squeaky chair, I'm feeling fairly positive about the, you know, the shed coming along, it's definitely progressing, and I was trying to bring the, because I got a light in my bedroom, but the light doesn't shine into the shed, so the shed is dark, and I did buy two lights from a cheap

store, you know, one of the cheap stores where you shouldn't really buy anything unless you don't want it to work, you know, you don't need, if you buy a hammer from this store, you don't need it to actually, you know, hammer a nail in, you know, it's that kind of shop, it's, you buy stuff that looks like the stuff that you might need, but don't buy it if you need it, because it won't be of any use, possibly, but that's where I got the two lights, the two little lights, stuck them to the top of

the shed, I realized, well, the light's outside, I need to have it inside, so I took them off, put them inside of the shed, and basically they stuck, you took the adhesive off, or the strip off, and just stuck it to the to the roof, inside though, and pressed it, and the light came on, now that one worked, but the other one just fell apart, it didn't even attempt to work, not even for five minutes, I took it out of the packet, I stuck it to the ceiling, and it just disintegrated, just straight away, and

so, fair enough, I thought, okay, but the other one was not light, it's not bright enough, so in the end, I got rid of that, I ripped that off, and I don't know where it is, it's somewhere, chucked on the floor, and I was bringing my lamp in, the light, it's kind of like a desk lamp, but standing up, right from the floor, so it's as tall as me, if not taller, and then it bends over, so it can be above your desk, or above your chair, or you know, that kind of thing, so if

you was going to be sitting in a chair, reading, you could have the light shining down on the book, which is quite handy, if you're reading a book, and you need a light shining on it, so that's quite good, so I took the lamp into the bedroom, a couple of weeks ago, to start putting some of these strips up, and I think it was when I was putting the glue, trying to glue the stuff in, the square ones, there's still a few in there, some still stuck, a lot of them just fell off, and I

needed to get, well the light didn't reach into the actual shed, the cable wasn't long enough, and the light socket isn't in my bed, so I thought, and what I did was, I got the extension lead, which meant unplugging all my other stuff in the extension lead, like my laptop, and my phone charger, and those things, and it's one of those power sockets that protects power surges and things, it's a good extension lead, it's not one of those old-fashioned ones that are in a round little box, and you've got a little wheel inside of a

little handle, and you turn the handle, do you remember those ones, and it's got a plug on the side of the box, and you've got a lead with another plug, which goes into like a main socket in the house, and you go into the garden with this extension, and you, it's almost, you unroll it, a little bit like the old movies with, what's that stuff, it goes boom, a fire sticks, dynamite, that's it, and, but it's not, it's for the lawnmower, and then you, you know, you attach it, attach the cable from the lawnmower into

the side of the extension lead, which they come in different colours, I'm sure they did them, I think the one we had when I was a kid was green, but it might have been blue, or red, or yellow, it's one of those, green, red, yellow, or blue, but knowing my dad, he probably had one of each, because he was, he was a tradesman, so he had lots of extension leads and stuff, and he was very colour coordinated, so if he went out all dressed in red, he'd take his red extension lead with him, had a

little, had a little red van for that day, so he'd drive around in that, and his little red lunchbox, and I think the red one would usually be Superman, because Superman could be on there, but he's, you know, kind of suited the red background, although personally I always used to say, yeah it's fine, but what about the boots and the cape, because it doesn't really fit in with the red, but then they'd say, yeah, but it's a different kind of red, isn't it, the cape and the boots are much brighter red, more darker, and this

red is very bright, very light red, just like my, my top hat, I said, oh yeah, and his Wellington boots, and his little bow tie, so, you know, he's very coordinated, and a little tool kit as well, and all this, all his little tools, spanner had a red handle, and the screwdriver had a red handle, and his drill had a red, a red handle on it as well, and the, one of the things he used to have, um, chisel, he used to have a red handle for the chisel, and his tape measure used to have,

be red, but he had, obviously had a red, yellow, blue and green one, but the red one, I remember there was once an emergency call, and my mum answered the phone, she said, what's Christ going on, and I thought there had been an accident, and she was like rushing to the hospital, and I said, you've got to come with me, you've got to come with me, it's an emergency, so I'm in there with her, and she drives up to this house, and she said, oh, your dad's in there, I said, well, well, where's the ambulance

then, I didn't say that, I kept quiet, because I was interested, but not interested enough to actually ask questions out loud, and, plus there was a dog that was doing a wee on the side of the car, on the other side, you know, the other side of the road, so I was watching that, and it kind of got my interest a bit, there was a really fuzzy hair, like, um, what's those dogs, the ones that have really fuzzy hair, poodles, it was that kind of like that, but it had a Mohican, poodle with a Mohican,

and the Mohican was actually pink, so whoever, I don't know how, how that happened, but it, he or she, I don't know, I like to think that she was a girl, because the way she was looking at me, um, I don't know, I just think I stood a chance, I think she liked me, and, but, you know, it doesn't matter, but, anyway, my mum goes in, and she said, oh, wait a sec, because she came back, I forgot this, and she went into the glove compartment of her car, and pulled out a, what's it, a

red tape measure, and sort of run into the, into the house, this place where my dad was, all that fuss, because it, it hadn't colour coordinated everything precisely, I was shocked, and I remember the journey back, listening to Bonnie Tyler, Total Eclipse of the Heart, thinking to myself, I like this song, I remember we both sang it, Total Eclipse of the Heart, bright eyes, Total Eclipse of the Heart, burning like fire, how could you hurt and fail, Total Eclipse of the Heart, something like that, and, uh, I do have a memory, and this is my,

well, she's my second mum, third mum, yeah, and a few, I suppose, I suppose, foster parents, I was with them for a year and a half, so that's, that's a mother, wasn't it, really, to me, that, not, not that, she was a mother, so this, this, I'm saying, I sound like I'm being derogatory or not, it, the third lady, who was wonderful, was my third mum, I guess, but I only remember the first one, I don't remember the second one, because I was too little, and then I lived with the third one, I lived with

the first one again, after the second one, anyway, the third mother, and now I'm with my fourth mother, and she's wonderful as well, so I've been quite lucky with the, with number two, three, and, no, two, three, and four, yeah, kind of, in a way, and, and, I do remember that really funny thing, it's probably, what, 1984, Frankie goes to Hollywood, relax, now, I think that, so, I don't think that she understood what the song was about, and I did, I don't know why I did, I just did, I think, probably, the reason is because,

at that time, I had a television, and I was watching the late news, and they were discussing it a lot, because it was banned, and all that stuff, and she was in the kitchen, and relax was playing, and, you know, it was banned, not on all radio stations, but radio one refused to play it, but there was more than one radio station at that time, we had, we had like the pirate radio stations, and I'm not sure what other ones we had back then, anyway, she was in the kitchen, she was dancing, relax, don't do

it, when you wanna go to it, yeah, so, because they changed the lyrics as well, I think, for the radio, relax, don't do it, and then she's singing along, the last bit of the song, when you wanna, and she's just like, and she just goes like a statue, and I was like, uh, do you know what this song is about?

I don't know, I was what, 14, probably, at the time, this doesn't sound like something you should be singing out loud, however, it was a great song, and Frankie Goes to Hollywood were the biggest thing, probably in the world at that time, like the Western world, I'm sure, there was people in Ethiopia, and Russia, and Iceland, and Africa, and India, that probably weren't listening to it, they didn't, you know, weren't that concerned, but in the, like in America, and England, and probably Ireland, and maybe some other European countries, probably, I'm sure, Canada and Australia, it

was a big deal, that song was a big, big deal, and I'm guessing it was a bigger deal in America than what it was here, because, but just for the simple fact that it's a much bigger audience, so when you've got more people liking something, you always have more people disliking it, and it was, I think America has got 300 and, is it 340,000, not 340,000, about 340 million people, I think, in America, and roughly, give or take a few million, and in England, we have 60 million, however, if you was to, I mean, the

way we pack people into this country, we could probably, we could probably have 340 million, what is it, 60, 120, 240, it's only like, yeah, we could probably fit another few million in there, and it's growing, so what we do in this country is we really pack people together tightly in the cities, and then there's other places where there's hardly anyone, so like in America, in America, in London, there's about 10, people argue about it, but it's about 10 million roughly in London, and, but in my little area, there's three men and a dog, and

well, and Andre, that's it, there's no women around here, it's just three men and a dog and a squirrel or whatever Andre is, and that's in a, like a, I don't know, 10 mile radius, so there's plenty of room for many, many more people, we could put tower blocks in, get rid of the park, you could put easily, probably two tower blocks in that park that's local, so fit a few, I don't know how many people you could get into a tower block, but a few hundred, so you'd easily get another, probably get rid of

the school, we don't need this school, that could be like a really big tower block, and that field, so that's two tower blocks, so I reckon with that field, the school, and the field next to the school, we could fit four tower blocks, so get at least a thousand people living there, yeah, that'd be good, and then what other things don't we need, we don't need the fields, who needs fields, they don't do anything do they, so got lots of fields around here, so we could fit in just, just the length, like the end of

the road, the length of the fields, just down that one road around, you could probably fit 20 tower blocks, so that's another 5,000 people, and then, yeah, there's other, there's another big bit of ground, a bit of ground which has got a community centre in, knock that down, no, don't need a community centre, car park, get rid of that, have another three, I reckon, maybe four tower blocks there, then there's the church, so there's that area, there's a big bit around that, put a couple of tower blocks there, and there's the fields on the other

side as well, of the other, the other side of the road, and they're big fields, you could fit another, probably 50 tower blocks, yeah, you could really, this area could be really buzzing, we could, you think each tower block takes, let's say there's 200, 100 flats, I don't know how, I don't know how many flats on the floor, let me try and think, there used to be a cleaner on tower blocks, let's try and figure out how many there would be, one, let's say 10 flats per floor, or 12 flats per floor, eight floors, 10

floors, let's say 100 flats, and then in each flat you've got at least two people living there, maybe three, you know, they've got kids, so if you have them as two-bedroom flats, so you've got at least two people, probably three people, because a one-bedroom probably be for a child, and unless they just don't like each other, so maybe two bedrooms, but so there'll be three people roughly in each flat, so that's 300 people, and we could get, I reckon, 100 blocks of flats just surrounding my area, without even knocking down any of the houses that

are local, and not knocking down the school, or even probably touching the park, but just the surrounding fields, you could probably get at least, I reckon, 100, 100 blocks of flats, and I say if you're gonna build high, build high, build huge ones, you know, sort of maybe 100 floors, but that's just me, I think, I think that's just, or makes makes my toes turn to jelly just thinking about it, it's ever so exciting, so you know, even if they're just small blocks of flats, or 100 flats each, and one, two, oh I'd lived in

a block of flats, I lived in a few actually, so let me try and work out, one, two, three, four, five, six, yeah, I found that one at about eight, eight flats, and then there's one, two, I think eight floors, you know, I think 10 floors with 10 flats, or 12 floors with 10, you know, whatever, so 100 flats, 300 people, times about 10, 3,000, 30,000 people housed just in 100 blocks of flats, 30,000 all around the area, and I think because it's my idea, I should get paid a million pound, and then I can

move out of the area, because I ain't gonna want to live here if there's 100 blocks of flats, I don't want to live in that environment, I want to be out of it, I do not want to be here, I've lived, I've lived in blocks of flats when I was a kid, and as an adult as well, and it's, it can be interesting, that's just, that's a word for it, it can be very interesting, and I live on a council estate now, and it's, it's amazing, I just see it, and it's a very micro version

of a council estate, because I think at one point the whole estate was council, possibly, or big, there was quite a few council houses, and people have bought them, and now the only thing left is just a few blocks of flats, well, yeah, they're just around each other, and they're not high up, they're sort of two levels or so, and maybe a few houses around, so it's a very small tiny area, so there may be one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, maybe twenty to thirty, possibly forty people,

possibly less, live in council apartments, just in this little area, that's about it, maybe less, and a few people have bought their council flats as well, and so just seeing that little, tiny little micro version of how it could be on a bigger scale, and that would be a nightmare, it would be awful if it was on a bigger scale, because you know, some of the disagreements, and the arguments, and the, what's the right word, the, what's that bird that puffs its chest out and its wings out, cocking, not cocking, peacocking, yeah, peacocking, the whole

kind of wanting to be top dog, and alpha, alpha male, when nobody's an alpha male, and nobody's top dog, there is no such thing, it doesn't exist, I mean, it only exists if you allow it to exist, maybe in prison, maybe in the army, in a, you know, in a situation like that, maybe at school, but not once you're an adult, and you leave school, you don't have to be subservient to another person, because they're physically stronger, that's just pathetic, and it's like nah, no thanks, I want you to do everything I want you to

do, I want you to, don't want you to just be scared of me, I'm sorry I don't offer that service, bye bye, so yeah, it's, they are actually wanting to build on this land, and all the surrounding fields, and there's, there are signs saying no to whatever they're calling it, they call it this, like a different, like a little village that they're going to be creating, and I've been here five years nearly, and they've been talking about it, those signs have been up for five years, however, if you walk around the corner, it's about a

15 minute walk, and there's a railway line that goes between here and London, very busy lines, constantly, I can hear it more at night than during the day actually, and I go there, and I couldn't believe it when I first went there, because normally you just have a railway crossing, you just have, you just cross over, if you're in the middle of nowhere, there's a field, you can just, you cross, but you just have to be really careful, which is why there's so many accidents, because human beings can't be trusted, sometimes, and I came across

this thing, there's this brand new structure, I say brand new, but it looks really new, it's been there a little while, but it's a bridge, but like one of those proper railway bridges that you see at railway stations, and apparently spent about half a million pound putting that in, and it got all this area, all this ground, all locked off, which is clearly going to be used to build a train station, as soon as they get a go-ahead, but these haven't got the go-ahead yet, because otherwise why would they put a railway bridge across the

railway track of that magnitude, I mean it's a proper really nice bridge, it's something that you'd expect at a new railway station, and it looks out of place, like what's this doing here, it's probably about 20 people a day use it, seriously, it just leads to a countryside the other side, and then again there's more area that you could build stuff, tower blocks, and so this area is going to be built up at some point, very likely, and the only thing I really want to see, I'd like them, or them, I'd like a major supermarket

to build a supermarket, I don't know what I added to build a supermarket at the end of that, what else are they going to build, a big ice sculpture of Charlie Chaplin, you know, I mean it's going to be a supermarket isn't it, it's a supermarket chain, so I'd like to see like a Sainsbury's, I guess ideally an Aldi, like a cheap place, but Sainsbury's would be quite cool because they also serve food, and although it's you know a bit more expensive, the quality is, you know, it's, I don't know, I think if you go

to a place regularly you can get there when there's special offers on, so it's just a matter of kind of keeping your eye out, but I think ideally it would be a big Sainsbury's and then an Aldi next to it, in fact what I'd quite like would, yeah, but it has to be far enough away that I don't hear it, because there's going to be a lot of traffic, so the traffic would have to come from a different direction to get into it, so I don't know how that would work, and so hopefully there'd be

some kind of back entrance into the Sainsbury's, and either that or I'd have to dig a tunnel, but I'll, you know, figure that out closer to the time, but to have an Aldi's as well would be good, and I want the petrol station to close because I never have what I want, so I want them to close, and I don't know what I want there instead, what would be good, maybe a pub, maybe, I'll tell you what I'd like, a boxing gym, a boxing gym instead of the garage, a nice proper place to, you know,

do something, but one that's open all day, not just open at seven o'clock in the evening for an hour, I want something that you can go and train all day long, just pay your sub, pay, you know, pay the amount you pay every month, two pound twenty or whatever, and you can go training all day every day, so that that would be brilliant, I'd love that, and so that'd be cool, I don't know what else, the other fields, I mean you could perhaps use them to grow food, I mean, but that's quite a novelty idea,

isn't it, is, I don't know if that that would be taken very seriously, I'd like to have a zebra crossing, for those that don't know what a zebra crossing is, because you might have different names for them, and a zebra crossing is what is on the cover of the Beatles album, is it Revolver, isn't it, or is it Abbey Road or Revolver, where the Beatles are crossing a road, the thing they're walking across is a zebra crossing, and it's the, do you call it pelican crossing in America, or we call it zebra crossing here, because

let's face it, the stripes look nothing like a pelican do they, come on, pelican, I've never seen a pelican fish look like that, so I would like to have a zebra crossing, so I could actually get across the road, because the traffic, they just don't seem to like stopping, for some reason, I don't understand it, I don't know, hey, what other things would be good for the local area, because I'm thinking maybe as I'm kind of getting older, perhaps a bit gentle exercise would be nice and useful and conducive and appropriate, maybe something like badminton

or tiddlywinks or something where there's physical movement, but gentle physical movement, and instead of, you know, like the martial arts, kind of kicking and punching and stuff, I can't really do that anymore, my body, my back, I can do it, but I feel it afterwards, and it's like carrying heavy stuff, I can actually carry, I don't mean heavy, heavy, I'm no strong, I'm not the world's strongest man or woman, but I can carry a heavy load, but chances are, you know, my back will hurt and I have to drop my load on the floor, and

then I'll pick it up again and carry on, but it's not that I can't physically lift the load, it's just, I feel it more afterwards, because sometimes I get back, you know, so I've got a load of shopping, and I get back into my flat, close the door, and I drop my load onto the bedroom floor carpet, and I just like collapse onto the floor, exhausted, or onto the bed rather, a cup, completely exhausted, and need to recover, and it's just a lower back thing, the rest of me, well, my shoulder's not so good either,

but that was a shelf that did that, but I can carry stuff, it's just the, it's just a shame, it's just wear and tear, I never realised really, I mean there was a time when I could, there was a time when I could jump, you know, I would jump off of steps, so I'd be running down a tower block of steps, and so I've lived in a few, and worked in a few places with steps, and I had girlfriends that had steps, but they didn't actually have steps, but you know, there were steps in their

home, staircases, you know, that kind of thing, where I've just jumped all the way down.

Now, I hold onto the banister, and I walk really carefully, almost like I'm trying to, I feel like I'm kind of like a thief or something, like I'm trying to, like a cat burglar, don't want to be heard, or to use a really old, older image, a bit like Kung Fu from the Kung Fu TV show, walking on the rice paper, so I can pass the Kung Fu test, and to not trinkle the rice paper or cause any noise, or to rip it in any way.

That's how I walked down the stairs, and I'm thinking, when did I turn into a pensioner? How did this happen? Genuinely, I would have just jumped down the whole flight of stairs, you know, 20 years ago, I would have just jumped down it, from the top to the bottom. I'm not talking, there's not that many stairs, that's what I'm saying, there's not a lot of stairs, but I'd at least skip a step, probably two, I'd probably jump down two, and then another two, so I'd do it in two leaps, and then I'd walk up, sometimes I'd run up, other times I'd just walk up, thinking about running up, but not running up.

Other times I would run up the stairs, thinking to myself, well, why don't I just walk? Well, what's the hurry? It depended on, you know, what was going on really, I suppose, but now, I think partly it's because I've got concrete steps, and a lot of places I've lived in, I've had, you know, steps have been inside the property, so I've lived at the top of a house, on the top floor, so there's been carpeted stairs, so it's, they're almost a little bit bouncy, aren't they? Carpet, sometimes you can bounce a little bit, especially if they get a little bit air trapped, it's like a mini trampoline, but concrete steps, they're not quite the same, the only way, yeah, it doesn't bounce.

I do feel it in my knees more these days, I think, I suppose it's good to be careful, but it's a little bit boring as well, but then it's supposed to be boring, because if it was not boring, then I wouldn't be able to talk about it, and then I wouldn't be able to bore you to sleep, by talking about the things that are boring. Yeah, which brings me to the end of another recording, so thank you for listening, and I hope that I've really made a difference, a huge, huge difference, and I shall speak to you tomorrow. Thank you for listening, and remember to be kind to yourself, because you deserve to be happy.

Do something nice for yourself, and sleep well. Lots of love. Bye.