#297 Let me bore you to sleep - Jason Newland (10th January 2020)

Hello, welcome to jasonnewland.com. My name is Jason Newland and this is Let Me Bore You to Sleep. Please only listen when you can safely close your eyes. I feel a bit tired.

I've got a little bit of a headache today for some reason. I had, I slept and a bit weirdly in my, the back of my neck is aching a couple of days ago and it's just, it's almost spread up to the back of my head a little bit. It's okay but I think it's because I've got such a big head.

Andre's being very naughty. He's just knocked lots of water on the floor. So basically he wants me to give him some new food but there's still some wet food, some like cat food in the bowl that he's not eating yet.

So he's demonstrating. He's doing a little dirty protest. So he's knocking stuff over and now he's had to settle for dry food which is the dry food which is what he should be eating.

It doesn't give him everything he needs but neither does the cat food. They kind of need to be in combination really. But when I mix them together he don't touch it so they have to be separate.

And I suppose the best thing to be given him would be raw meat but I don't want to do that. I did it once when he was a baby. Gave him some raw chicken and all he did was grab it and run off and hide it somewhere.

And I don't want stuff like that hidden under the bed or around the flat because it's just way too stinky. And plus I don't like dealing with raw meat if I'm honest with you. I'm not really a big fan of it.

So he has cat food now he's eating it. The thing is that bugs though what annoys me about him is I gave him some cat food a few hours back and he ate it and he's left a bit and now it's a little bit dry on the outside just a little bit and he's turning his nose up at it and he doesn't want to touch it. However the things that he sticks his nose in and licks and tries to eat when we're out for a walk is just purely disgusting.

All he wants to do is get down the drain. He loves bags of rubbish. You know why is he such a snob when it comes to the cat food when he'd clearly he'd eat elephant droppings if he could.

You know I'm just saying he's not a fussy eater yet when he's here he's a fussy eater. But give him a bag of rubbish and he's happy. Weird, weird little thing he is.

But he's eating the cat food now. He's always got a face on him is it almost like I don't want this but I'm gonna have to eat it anyway otherwise I'll starve. Yeah Andre you really like me to starve.

Food on tap 24 hours a day is nothing. Plus I know he hides stuff. He hides things around.

So I have a sandwich, a cheese sandwich for example and I don't always eat the whole thing. I'm not a big eater. So I'll just leave a little bit on the plate and I think nothing of it.

But he will come and he'll he'll nick the food off the plate and he'll hide it somewhere so he can have a snack in a couple of weeks time. So he will eat a mouldy cheese sandwich but he won't eat fresh cat food that's a couple of hours old. Yeah so it's been a... I'm gonna just talk about my day.

Yeah and also do you remember I'm gonna do the rhyme. If you like what I do leave a review. So that's going to become very old very quickly I know but I'm going to continue because I think that fits in with the boredom aspect of these particular podcasts.

So there I'm going to continue doing it. Ideally please leave a video review and also just to remind you for every person that shares one of my posts on Facebook, shares onto their own page or onto a Facebook page or a group will be entered into the competition for January and you get a chance to win a every single episode of Let Me Bore You to Sleep so far. So by the time we get to the end of the month there'll be another 20 recordings on top of what there is now.

So I think there's 296 at the moment. This is episode 297 and so yeah there'll be about 200, 315 or something like that recordings that will be on a stick. Not like a little stick from a tree but you know one of those USB sticks, flash disk drive things and it'll be on there and I'll send it to you anywhere in the world.

And also just to remind the winner of last month's competition who won a an Alexa dot thingy and that is on its way so that will be with you hopefully within the next week or so. So that's what I'm looking to do. If anyone would like to join that competition.

I haven't really promoted it much. Perhaps I should put a bit more effort into it but I've just been so busy with sometimes I just don't remember. I'll be honest with you when I do a recording when I do these recordings I'm kind of just rambling and when I make the other recordings it's a lot more focused.

So sometimes I forget what it is you know to remind people of the competition. And it's a part of me thinks or perhaps I shouldn't keep mentioning the competition because those people listening in you know two years time will be thinking what competition? What's that all about? But this competition's just for January 2020. So if you're listening in 2059 I'm really old.

I'm now really old. So I might need you to come and care for me. How old would I be? So 1920 now.

30, 40, 50. So that's 40 years isn't it nearly? I'm nearly 50. So I'll be 80.

I'll be 90 pretty much. I'll be 40. No I'll be 89.

1959. I'll be 89. So I'll still only I'll still only be a three quarters of the way through my life but still be elderly.

So I'll be 89. Still be making these recordings. Who knows what my voice will be like then.

Yeah I'll be 89 and I'll come to let me bore you to sleep. I'll just be falling asleep probably while I'm old. I actually I imagine I'll still have you know all things going well.

I still have a fairly young voice I think. I've spoken to many people during my call center experience all those years. I spoke to many people that were in their 70s even 80s that sounded didn't sound any older than 30.

They you know got very young voices so some people in their 20s sound like they're in their 60s but they don't really. They just it's just their voice. We all we've all just got different voices haven't we.

It's just uh I'm gonna stop I'm gonna stop talking now. Yes so today I'm not gonna stop talking because that would be it wouldn't work would it because this is uh me talking. Gotta talk.

Gotta talk. So today or yesterday Thursday the 9th which is now Friday the 10th. It was a full moon last night which was um not as interesting saying it out loud as I thought it would be.

There's a full moon okay so we have we have that every month don't we. Yeah so it's 12 times a year yeah and how many years you've been alive 49 years. So how many full moons have there been? I don't know 12 times by 10 is 120 and times by 10 is 1200.

So about 600 full moons there have been. So I've been alive for about 600 months. 600 full moons.

600 times I've become incredibly hairy and growled. 600 months. Is that a lot? I don't know.

We should all do something to celebrate my 50th birthday shouldn't we? Don't you think? My 50th birthday and the well how many years have I been doing this now? So I started in 2006. So 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020. So this is my 15th year.

So I was laughing because Andre was making some weird noises and almost looked like he was playing with an invisible ball. Yeah so this is the 15th year. So I can celebrate my 50th anniversary of being alive and my 15th year of making these recordings online.

So what should we do to celebrate? What shall we do? I don't know. So see I'd have a birthday party if it was if everybody was together. You know what I mean? If we was all like if this was a town or a little village or a little town and I was doing this just for the town I could just invite a few thousand people and have a really nice big huge party wouldn't it for a few thousand people but I could invite everyone and maybe a few hundred would turn up or something.

But because everyone's so spread out around the world it's not really practical is it? I say come to my birthday at the end of August and it's only going to cost you a thousand pounds to sort of get here you know on a plane and stay in a hotel. If I yeah okay see you there then. Actually I don't know how much it costs to travel on planes.

I don't I honestly don't know. Even more what I don't understand is why do people pay for cheap airfare? I almost would want to pay the most I could possibly afford just to make sure that I got there. I just I suppose it depends what airport you're flying off from doesn't it? But what's that on the news? Oh man I did actually think at the beginning of the year or before the beginning of the year I was going to stop watching the news but I haven't.

I don't know. There's something there's something about wanting to be informed. There's a degree of stimulation to that but it's not necessarily a positive stimulation.

Anyway oh god that wasn't supposed to happen. I was just putting my drink down. So what's he doing? That's weird.

He's coddled up to a little teddy which he doesn't normally do. You know what? I think that a lot of what Andre gets up to I don't get to see because I come in here and there's things are moved around. His little snake that he's got it's uh well it's not little it's probably about three times his length but he he hides it but it moves around.

He's got these just these things he likes to do and I don't see him doing it but sometimes I catch him and it's the cutest thing in the world. It's so lovely just having the best fun but quite often he doesn't do it in front of me. Hmm anyway so yeah let's just give me some ideas about the birthday.

To celebrate 15 years please leave a video with you on my website. Also also did I say only listen when you can safely close your eyes? Yeah probably. I um I'll say to you what I said to one of my neighbors years ago when he was playing his classical music at a level that was shaking the entire house when he said to me I thought he was out didn't realize he was in and I said to him just assume I'm always in.

In other words please don't ever play your music that loud yes it's just too loud there's no it's just nah it's that's what headphones are for and and we cuddled each other for a little bit but he slowly made up and so I'm going to say to you the same thing just assume that I've said only listen when you can safely close your eyes because I might forget to say it sometimes but I do try to remember I do try try try try try. So today or yesterday it's still today because I've not gone to bed yet but yesterday I had a meeting with the psychologist and let me tell you what happened.

Well first of all I think I went to bed about five o'clock in the morning and I woke up about 12 or one or went to bed at six and woke up at one something like that and I had some breakfast so I had some porridge I got these porridge sachets I'm not sure if I told you about this I got these porridge sachets which come in a box I think there's 12 sachets per box I think and they're quaker oats but they're microwave microwave um porridge the thing is there's not enough there for me

there's like half the amount I would actually eat if I was making ready break for example but I stick to the portions because um I just can't be bothered to try and put in two and because two would actually probably be a bit too much actually um but one's not really enough I could definitely eat a banana on top so but I don't I think bananas and porridge really go together but they might I don't know depends whether or not you like um bananas and porridge mixed together doesn't it so I I have that I've

been doing that for a while now ever since I got my microwave oven probably about two months ago and I put it in the microwave so it's quite it's quite ingenious really so the sachet is made of almost like I don't know if you've you ever went to school but if you if you were to school in the 70s or the 80s basically this toilet paper that was like or more like tracing paper it's similar to that kind of paper but made into a sachet and I just hope it's not recycled I could imagine that

recycled toilet paper but anyway ripping out you rip off the top tells you where to rip it you pour the contents into the bowl then you get the milk and you pour the milk up to a certain level inside the sachet again you pour the milk into the bowl again then you put it in the microwave for two minutes and after two minutes the microwave goes bing bing bing bing bing five times providing you press the on button you know you have to you can't just put it in close the door and leave it you

have to actually set the timer and press on and then it's ready it needs a bit of stirring because it's very otherwise it just starts skinny on top skinny a skin it's very slim on top and you just stir it round and I make a cup of coffee and then I put a little bit of sugar on the porridge and I said I have a cup of coffee I only have one sugar in my coffee and then I bring it all into the into the living room and generally I've got a little table next to

my big black squeaky chair I usually have the coffee furnished away from me on one part and then the bowl next to that and then I have the bowl on my lap and I hold the bowl and I have the coffee and I kind of take alternate sips sometimes I might have a couple of spoonfuls of uh porridge and then the there may be a sip of coffee and there's no you know I don't sort of I don't go by any kind of script on that one it's not like one two one three three two

one you know it's just I go by how I feel what feels right in the moment so that's kind of my morning routine although I do it in the afternoon so that's what I did on yesterday afternoon about one half one yeah it's about half one because I did some other stuff first on the on the computer went through some stuff and then or was it 12 well I don't know you know after having a breakfast I made a recording uh a relaxation hypnosis for stress anxiety and panic attacks I made I think it was

episode 71 recording 71 I think or was it 72 something like that and um I even named it it's called something I forget now it had a name what was the name yesterday's the day before I called it you don't have to do anything well you don't have to do anything you know that's basically it and that was the kind of the title of that this the one yesterday was I forget yesterday you actually have to do everything I say I change yeah no I can't remember what it was it was something um what was

it I called it so I did that one sitting down and it was a it was much more of a relaxation oh yeah a safe space I called that one and it was going um you know focusing and going inside to our safe space so yeah that was and I felt quite good about that it was pretty quiet there wasn't a huge amount of background sound Andre was being good and so I just did that recording lasted for about half hour I think and uploaded it I didn't have enough time to do everything that I

needed to do with it but I did share it on Facebook and Twitter and when I got home I did the other little bits that needed to be done to keep it up to date with everything else so it's but I didn't have enough time to do that I needed to go out but I felt quite good because the last three days I've done two recordings each day I think and today my intention my intention is to do my weekly sleep hypnosis recording and I know actually I know what I'm gonna do so I know

I know what the the subject's gonna be so I'm gonna do that later I'm probably gonna try and sit in my shed and do that and even though the shed's not soundproofed yet it'll still be a little bit quieter than elsewhere but it will be soundproofed by Easter I'm pretty sure I'll have it done by Easter I now know what I'm going to do or how I'm going to do it I will tell you all about that excitement later another day in fact I might actually talk to you while I'm doing it now that is

an offer isn't it that is an amazing opportunity that was just utter excitement I'm sure so I have my breakfast what did I do I did something the other day something that was weird that I don't normally do oh yeah I was friendly to someone no I don't know what it was I did something I don't know so I get up I have my breakfast I make the recording I edit it upload it share it and then I make a page on my website with it on there as well and then I go out I'm

not waiting very long for the bus the bus turns up pretty good which is nice and it's a lovely day yesterday very very bright sunny and wasn't cold or anything it started to get cold later but you know when I was initially out it was fairly fairly nice so I get on the bus I go to the top of the bus yeah I got to the top of the bus there was a lady sitting there at the bottom of the bus sitting with just near where the stairs are to go upstairs and her feet were

basically I don't know if she's doing it on purpose but she seemed to spread her feet out so that they were right near the bottoms of the stairs and basically she had clown's feet big flat feet but I started thinking maybe the reason they're flat is because people keep treading on them and she just forgotten they're there now they weren't flat or big or but they were very close to this to the check to the stairs and it was almost like a look of don't you dare stand on my feet well why are you sitting

with your feet right stretched out but there might be a reason for it I should just shout but um I trod on her feet what can I say I just no I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I hit her with a balloon no I didn't I got off the bus so I was on the bus then I got off the bus and of course it's the interesting journey as ever went through a past a few roundabouts where it's just interesting to see that clearly nobody ever in the history of driving has ever been

taught the rules of roundabouts because nobody seems to know it so that is but we got through it got into town and got off the bus said thank you to the bus driver where did I go oh yeah I walked up and I went into the bank because I didn't have any money on me so I went to the bank just to draw some money out I'd rather go inside the bank when it's open then use the cash point machines um just just seems a bit more secure and then there's I have my headphones on

I'm listening to some music and there's this woman that works there and she almost like she's standing in front of me trying to stop me getting past and I've got my headphones on so I can't hear what she's saying and I could have took my headphones off but I didn't want to the point of having the headphones on is so I didn't have to talk to people that's part of the reason and I saw a wave hello to her and I walked around her I kind of run and kind of tackle her and tackle her

down a rugby tackle and I managed to get to the machine she's holding on to me for like get off get off get off and uh eventually I managed to get some money out and uh I have to get out by a back window a toilet in the back of the bank just to escape I don't know what what she wanted but you know it looked to me very survey-y she had one of those expressions which was can you do a survey can I ask you some questions please and I don't I don't do surveys

and so I you know I tried to avoid her as much as possible and then I'll get out there safely luckily I had a parachute because the toilet was upstairs so I got parachuted down and then hmm I walked down the road and I'm thinking to myself like what's the time so I look at my phone because it's got the time on does anybody wear a watch anymore I don't know I've never worn a watch yet I own two nice watches but I don't wear watches not since I left school and the reason being is

it aggravates my wrist it's weird isn't it it just it feels uncomfortable I don't wear jewelry I don't wear anything on my fingers or my hands or my arms I wear clothes but I don't I don't have any restrictions at all no rings um which is good because I've broken my hand a few times and if I had had a ring on I might have ended up having to have the ring like cut cut off and you know whatever so yeah I'm I don't like restrictions like that or long fingernails or or a horse I

wouldn't want the restrictions of a horse because they're very time consuming beautiful animals but the whole kind of clearing out the horse's stable and stuff yeah it doesn't really appeal to me so there's a few things I'm not really that into but it's not really relevant I guess so oh wow I can't believe this apparently a major company have invented a new invisible keyboard for like PCs an invisible keyboard and they've sold millions of them already and a lot of complaints from people saying that they haven't been delivered wow see this this is a keyboard

it's actually for a phone and you type so you put the phone the mobile phone in front of you yeah and you actually just type on the desk and then it comes up on the big screen like the typing you're doing wow wow that's uh and it kind of mirrors it so it's I guess it's um keeping it's checking all your finger movements and things this is on click it's a BBC program called click it's on every week and it shows like the mate the the newest technological um stuff and it is it's fascinating to

me I find it fascinating I do I quite like technology actually because I see the good that it can do it's the possibilities you know I mean just going back to you know the early days when I started doing these recall you know this stuff there was no uh smartphones there was no decent cameras it was all well there were but you know you'd have to pay a lot of money it was out of the price range of the average person um although I did get a video camera in 2009 or was it 2008 and

I think I spent about 500 pound on that 600 pound or something so I got a video camera and the quality of the picture was okay but the quality of the sound was awful wasn't awful it wasn't very good though so great for I suppose being on holiday and filming your kids and filming yourself and parties and that kind of stuff but not wasn't particularly perfect for making videos for YouTube for me at the time but I used it anyway but other than that the only other option was webcams which were the picture was okay

if you didn't move it's one of those like pictures really good as a picture but as a moving image it wasn't always wonderful and it's basically one make that did the um made the webcams one the top brand there was a top brand for years I guess I don't know if anyone still use webcams now but I suppose you need to if you're going to be using a laptop because even now my laptop is not old I think I bought my laptop last year and the camera is just awful it's not it's not like a

top-notch web a top-notch laptop but it is eight gigabyte memory and it's uh the the inbuilt camera is just really really it's really bad and I've known I've found that to be the case with every single laptop I've ever had and in the old days when I was working back in I don't know 2004 2005 I was buying I had a decent laptop you know I was paying sort of 700 pound or something for top of the range well that I could afford but it was a good laptop but if that makes sense um much

better than the one I've got now in a it's not because the one I got now is probably much way better than that was but in comparison it would be like getting a a mac a mac you know a mac uh laptop price wise but I just never fancied getting a an iMac or a MacBook just didn't really appeal to me back then but the camera was really really rubbish always but the machine worked quite well see now this one the machine works pretty well it has a few different because I'm using it all the

time and it's always on uh a lot of the time it's it's it's doing more work I think probably than a lot of laptops would do but it's pretty good it's pretty stable occasionally it just shuts itself off because it's had enough goes on strike but the camera is really bad so I'll be interested to see what kind of camera the MacBook has because I've seen some documentaries where the MacBook seems to be fairly good quality um camera video camera but saying that I really want to make videos anymore I don't know I mean it's

the good thing about making audios just audios is I can sit here in any clothes I want I don't you know I it doesn't matter uh with a video you kind of I've got to get myself relatively smartened up I say relatively but you know a little bit smarter uh you know clean top and just make myself look okay and brush my hair and I haven't even got any hair at the moment so I'll have to wait for at least three weeks or four weeks before I can brush my hair so I was on the

bus got off the bus went to the bank got out of the bank walked down the road and I'm thinking what's the time I look at the phone get the time and I was going to go into the bookshop I thought you know what I'll go into the bookshop see what they've got see if they've got any hypnosis books or you know just see what's in there uh water stones and uh but then I thought no what I need to do is go into the post office so I went into the post office and also

yeah so I saw someone I was trying to avoid there's the big big issue seller that I was going to avoid because she just wants stuff she always wants money from me which is kind of her job but and she's uh she's kind of never satisfied unfortunately and you may say yeah but she's selling a big issue why should you know that's just being I'm just being uh selfish but I actually bought both of her both of her kids shoes for Christmas new shoes and because she asked me to do that and I did and

then she still wanted more so like I kind of realized that she I was trying to help her out but I just there was an empty it was almost like nothing was enough so I bought her shoes earlier in the year because she was freezing she was wet and she had holes in her shoes so I bought her some new shoes but that wasn't enough I took her to the she was hungry so I bought I took her to what I took her to Sainsbury's and bought her some food but that wasn't enough she wanted

more like just so yeah I kind of avoid her now a little bit I have to kind of keep away and which is a shame because it's nice to help people but it's a limit isn't it to what you can do if you're unemployed like me so so what I did I went to the post office didn't find what I needed so I came out and I walked up to where did I go yeah I started to realize I was running out of a little bit of time so I went to a charity shop to

look at the books I got a book Odyssey's Home Homer's Odyssey so I bought that for a pound and so I've added that to my collection of classic books and then I went and got some tea cakes for when I got home and then I went to the psychologist and I was there got there about 10 minutes before the appointment and and that all went okay and talked about my uh what's that word greatness that's it no what's my uh self-sabotaging that I have a habit of doing so my homework is to no self-sabotage for

two weeks so that's what I'm gonna do what's what I'm not gonna do or is what I am gonna do whichever way you look at it so I'm not I'm just gonna just keep doing what I'm doing and my plan because she asked me what is your plan for this year and my plan really is to continue doing this not just these recordings but the other recordings I do as well to continue doing it to continue growing a larger audience to continue getting more people visiting my website and this is all I want to do

and the more I do it the more I want to do it you know when I made that recording the relaxation one this morning or yesterday afternoon rather I felt really good during and afterwards because I felt relaxed when I'm doing a relaxation session I feel relaxed when I'm doing a sleep recording I feel sleepy sometimes when I make these recordings I do actually fall asleep sometimes I nearly fall asleep sometimes I actually have drifted off doesn't happen very often but sometimes it does happen and there's a pause and suddenly I kind of wake up

and and I listen back to it providing I'm not like making weird piggy noises snorting and stuff and I just leave it in but obviously if I'm doing some weird sounds I edit that out because I don't don't think that's really conductive towards a relaxing environment if I'm going that's that's an example of the sound I might make I don't know then there's some recordings where I'm talking and I genuinely don't know what I've just said and then I'm talking I don't know what I just said again and I've got no idea if what I'm

saying fits in with what I've just said whether anything that I've said has actually made any kind of sense so I do find that I find that quite interesting a bit just I just find that the recording I do affects me I'm not doing it for me you know I'm doing a relaxation session for other people I don't need to talk out loud to relax myself and although talking out loud does bore me because I'm boring but you know it's you know I don't listen to myself because it's not hopefully a bit weird wouldn't it

although saying that just before Christmas I had a psychology appointment and I was there early literally like an hour and a half early and it was cold outside and I had nowhere to go apart from just wandering around the streets and I just said is it all right if I just sit here because I just you know it's raining it's wet cold and they said no get out and I said I'll give you a Christmas card and she said okay then so I stayed in there and I listened to the entire recording an hour and

10 minutes or whatever from one of my recent recordings and it really was boring it really it was weird to hear myself because I listen the only bits I listen to myself is the very beginning of the recording so I can edit the beginning and sort of fade in and the very ending of the recording so I can edit that and fade out and then I skip through and if I don't remember any particular loud sounds you know like a knock at the door or something that's a bit like oh okay I should try to

edit that out and I'll just skim through if there's any peaks any um because the audio you can see it visually and there's peaks and you say okay well that's that was a sound there which is more than the average one so I'll go through it and I'll listen to it but sometimes and it might be my hearing so I might be wrong but it sounds sometimes it sounds more than it is sometimes it looks like it's louder than it sounds so occasionally what I'll do is if it's just part of me talking and it's

a little bit louder I'll just fade it out or fade it in so it's a little bit softer or in the event of well occasionally I will just delete that sentence if it's particularly if for some reason I just started shouting and it doesn't happen that often to be fair could you imagine oh dear but I'll edit that out but or if Andre is sometimes Andre will he'll decide to do something that is particularly noisy like banging a door or something so I'll sometimes I'll just stop talking for maybe 30 seconds and when he stopped

doing what he's doing I'll continue talking so I have to go back in and edit that out so I'm at the to the psychologist so I just said what I want to do is have more I want to reach I mean January everything's gone up as far as the the listeners more people downloading this month than any other time last month I had 67 000 downloads in December 2019 this month I've had about 27 already in the first week and then I'm just looking forward to it growing really that's the you know that's the thing

and to make more recordings and then I leave and I go and catch the bus and on the on the bus thing it says there was no bus all the other buses were coming but there's no the one I was waiting for just wasn't on the list so why not I don't know why not I asked myself and I said to the person next to me do you know when the bus is coming and he said yeah it's there and he walked over and got on it and it wasn't my bus like it was his

bus like you know technically he's correct the bus was there but it wasn't helpful for me so I waited and I waited and I waited and then it's it went on there said the next bus is about 34 minutes away and a bus turned up and I thought I'll get that one because that takes me three quarters of the way to where I'm going so get on that one this is where something weird happened I'm at the back of the bus right there's probably about 15 people on the bus not a huge amount but there's

a few people in front of me at the very front of the bus there's a lady in a wheelchair one of the ones the electronic ones you know we um I was gonna say like Davros from the Daleks um you know the the you know the controllers that's what I mean you can control because in in Doctor Who they had Davros who was in charge of the Daleks and he had a remote control which he used to move now in those days wheelchairs didn't have that so that's clearly where they got the idea from the

wheelchairs to be motorized that's why I just had that connection but she wasn't anything like Davros from the Daleks um I can't believe I just said that but she wasn't she was lovely and she pressed the button for the bus to stop and the bus driver gets out of the bus I thought he'd gone I thought he'd walked off or just like that's it had enough of this we'd won the lottery or something just like that see ya but he wasn't he was putting the ramp down so I didn't see her push the button I

wasn't looking like anything I was just busy just thinking about my own stuff and so he put the ramp down and he's waiting for her and she's saying I can't undo the buckle because she'd there's some kind of buckle that she had that taped her in not taped her in that kept her into a chair that she has to have when she's in cars or bus or something so I can't undo the buckle and the bus driver stands back says I'm not allowed to touch you yeah so before that she was saying can anyone help

me and the bus driver I reassumed the bus driver was going to do it because that's you know I can't do anything I'm not allowed to touch you so what do I do I stand up and shout out I'm happy to touch you not I'm happy to help you or I can help you but I'm happy to touch you those were the words that came out of my mouth that wasn't what I meant what I meant is I'll help you and I also was making a little bit of a show of it because all the

people in front of me that were actually sitting next to her didn't do nothing weren't even paying any attention so you know but oh you know I'm happy to touch you so I walk over I walk down to the end of the bus and I say to her and she's got this belt around her with a big red button that you press to undo the thing and and I said to the bus driver because I'm almost kind of making fun of him as well because he wouldn't do it making like you were witness everybody and

I just pressed it pressed the button and it just came undone and he then helped her off you know pushed her off the the bridge no he didn't push her off the bus he helped her down the ramp and I couldn't believe I literally just stood up and shouted yeah I'll touch you like what's going on and she said thank you and that but it wasn't it wasn't even a big deal it was just pressing a button but because I think what it was is there was that pressure from her to like hurry herself up

and bless her she's in a wheelchair she can't move around and those wheelchairs are heavy old things especially the electric ones the mechanical ones the Davros ones and proper heavy so you can't physically maneuver it yourself you have to rely on the motor of it and the steering you know the you know the big the knobby thing that you push forward and backwards like a game console kind of thing isn't it and but it's not a game is it this is real life I think she was getting flustered because she was trying to move quicker

than she was able to and I fell for her actually because like all eyes were on her yet no one was helping her that's what I didn't understand as far as I'm concerned I'm at the back of the bus I'd expect someone the closest person just to get up and give her hand that would be my thinking but no one did they just sat there and so I think I just got up yeah I'll touch her I'm happy to touch her so I get up all I did is press the button everything um not everything

fell out everything unpacked you know that the buckle just came out and she could then I think I don't know she had it attached to something I'm not really sure I didn't ask her I wasn't quite sure what it was that she had but it was to keep her in the chair basically because uh for her own safety so she got off and not with the bus driver he pushed her down the the ramp and she she went home I guess but I just was like oh why didn't anyone else offer to help so get

off the bus I'm waiting for my bus I get off the bus at the bus stop which connects with my other bus so I'm thinking well I'm three quarters of the way home at least now I've got a shelter to stand under and I've kept warm for the last half an hour um I look with exercise walking up the bus and back to help that lady good to meet Davros and so I went to I waited at the bus stop and my bus didn't turn up it said four minutes to the next bus my one

didn't show so I'm waiting and then something comes on the screen 54 minutes to the next bus now at this point it's getting a bit chilly and it's dark I was like oh so I end up waiting for a while and then there was 34 minutes left and I thought oh so I go into McDonald's and I have something to eat which is something that I don't do I haven't sat in McDonald's eating a meal for years and years but I just didn't want to stand outside in the cold anymore so I went in there

had a meal came out and then there was about 13 minutes left till the bus and it turned up on time got on there sit down at the front this time because all the other seats are taken pretty much I take me I've got me headphones on listen to music I take me hat down or me me coat hood I'm just there minding my own business and suddenly I hear this I have this bang at the top of the back of my head something hits the back of my head and I look behind me there's

a couple of old pensioners there I said do you know what that was I wasn't accusing them I just it wasn't like what did you do I just I'm thinking that the water had like dripped down from the window or something onto the back of my head that was my initial thought well my initial thought was who's behind me that's my initial thought but then I looked and it was fine I just like okay but it basically felt like someone had just flicked the top of my head or the back of my head which is

not a good thing to be doing to people is it really and I'm talking to these this lady this man and they was like I don't know what it is what I don't know and I'm thinking this is weird there's a young girl sitting opposite me who's smiling at me so I'm thinking does she know something there's a I didn't think it was her I just I'm just like what and then I hear I see someone in the back making noise and in hiding and it was one of my neighbours she'd only been chucking peanuts

at me she was at the back of the bus I was at the front of the bus and apparently it was her fifth attempt before she actually hit my head which brings the question is where did those peanuts end up the other four they're probably on the laps of the people behind me just two big piles of nuts with a couple of heads poking out so I like come I'm looking over there I'm starting to get a little bit annoyed just thinking is someone doing this I know there's someone so I'll go I'll go down

and speak to her and yeah it was her fifth attempt I was like what are you doing so yeah and I came home so eventually took me an hour and an hour and 40 minutes to get home in a journey that should only be half an hour and it's not all exciting stuff but it was just yeah I just do sometimes wonder about people like just why why wouldn't you why just why that's the question why why why why why why why do I make these recordings why why why why who knows who knows nobody

knows saw that lovely little nugget of bliss I'm gonna go I'm gonna go so I shall speak to you tomorrow thank you very much for listening and remember to be kind to yourself because you do deserve to be happy genuinely you do you deserve to do something nice for yourself treat yourself it doesn't have to cost money watch a program that you enjoy watching phone someone up that you enjoy talking to go online watch a youtube video that you find that you like to watch or whatever it is have a nice long bath do some

press-ups you know whatever it is that gives you a bit of pleasure eat a cake whatever it is I'm not advising eating unhealthily I'm not I'm just saying do something that's pleasing that just gives you that feeling of like oh this is nice so take care and I'll speak to you next time lots of love bye